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Published:
2022-03-25
Updated:
2023-08-18
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8/?
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"LUMINE YOU PIECE OF SHI-" || genshin chatfic

Chapter 6: family friendly...?

Summary:

family is important but so is procrastination and filler chapters! <3

SOMETIMES PLOT THINKING FUCKS WITH THE BRAIN BUT AT THE SAME TIME ITS A GOOD KIND OF FUCKING.....anyways

Notes:

HELLO UHM....LETS IGNORE THE MONTHS I DIDNT POST HELP UHM....THANK YOU FOR 7K READS AND LIKE 300 KUDOS WHAT I NEVER EXPECTED YALL TO READ THIS MUCH HELP THANK YOU ILY ALL <3

KLEE IS HERE AND PROVIDING ALL OF US WITH KAEBEDO CONTENT. like that inazuma event, like yall they weren't slick.

LAST NOTE: DONT ASK WHY A LOT OF MODERN STUFF IS LIKE PUNCHED INTO THE CHATFIC ALR THIS IS JUST ME DONT JUDGE IT ISTG 😭JUST IMAGINE GENSHIN CCS LIKE RLLY LIVING WITH US AND HAVING THE SAME LIVES AS US (lets just like not include the pandemic, lets not make them suffer like that

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUNDAY, 06:37:56 PM

in the 'jean's beloved children <3' server!

 

wetqiuqiu: I AM DONE

wetqiuqiu: I AM DONE WITH MY ANGST 

wetqiuqiu: LISTEN I KNOW THAT I WAS SUPPOOSED TO WRITE A ZHONGCHI SMUT BUT KAEBEDO GOT TOGETHER SO I FINISHED MY KAEBEDO FANTASY AU ANGST

LUMINEISAFURRY: nevermind im going offline!

LUMINEISAFURRY: i'd rather not cry again!

wetqiuqiu: OKAY NO LKISTEN

wetqiuqiu: HEAR ME OUT

onewiththestars: oh no do we have to pull out our ao3s and block xingqiu again?

lovelyzyunjin: it was funny when we decided to group block him on his bday

hotlingling: to be fair it was karma for always bullying chongyun

icyunyun: true </3

smokinghotgingerajax: oh so does that mean you fell for how he bullied you?

ateezhongli: sounds like some real stockholm syndrome vibes from here

lisolluve: now that you think about that is very true

ei :): oh so we're favoring xingqiu slander now?

wetqiuqiu: NO WE'RE NOT OMFG.

aetherisafurry: STOP OMG SLAY ZHONGLI

LUMINEISAFURRY: HELP I FORGOT ABOUT THAT OMGG

wetqiuqiu: ISTG OMG YOU BITCHES REALLY NEVER KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP

ayaya!!: i'm still a bit unfamiliar with ao3 😔

huhuloonasolos!: NO WORRIES AYAKA!

huhuloonasolos!: i can help i use ao3

YANFEIST!: to be fair hu tao only reads comfort fics and uses the filter HELP

kiyoamber:): aww thats kinda cute 

gayatofrfr: FR GUYS I KNOW HOW TO USE AO3 TOO

sucrowose!: wait how?

thomaurs: he reads domestic fanfics of this one show he loves to cure how bad the writing of that show is

diluluc: either that or the weird smuts he finds

fischltheprinzessinderverurteilung: I am repulsed.

aetherisaloser: HELP WHAT.

ayaya!!: brother what is this behaviour....

yaehottestbitch: i'd love to think ayato has some weird personality or fetish he hides from us

scarakuzushi: like for example a foot fetish

kaedehara-kazu: but we aren't assuming btw it's just a thought

scarakuzushi: ah no, i'm defenitly accusing.

LETSROCKANDROLL!!!!: HELP

onewiththestars: NAH THEYVE ALL HAVE THEIR LAST NERVE ON AYATO TO ACCUSE HIM OF THIS

everyoursbarb: everyone ganging up on ayato is my religion 😔

gayatofrfr: IM GOING TO CRY.

kaeyakreideprinz<3: PLS YALL NEVER MISS THE CHANCE TO SLANDER THE SHIT OUT OF AYATO ITS HILARIOUS

sucrowose!: the new punching bag

thehottestofthemall: the new childe

smokinghotgingerajax: STOP IT.

keqingxin: LOLLLLL

wetqiuqiu: guys my fanfic pwease :((

mom <3: oh sorry xingqiu, i'll go check it out rn :))

lisolluve: me too, dw i have a free period i'll be happy to take a look

smokinghotgingerajax: i already opened ao3

smokinghotgingerajax: bet if it involves death <3

smokinghotgingerajax: imagining kaeya in such a vulnerable state seems fascinating to read

kaeyakreideprinz: ...☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

onewiththestars: ah yes mental hospital, this ugly ginger right here

albedoalberich: what the fuck.

YANFEIST!: LMAO MONA

LUMINEISAFURRY: NOT ALBEDO GOOD FUCKING BYE

LUMINEISAFURRY: YALL ARE GOING TO BREAK HIM SOON 😭

albedoalberich<3: i've already been broken before all of this, its fine

yaehottestbitch: I-

yaehottestbitch: so does his harem find the mental unstableness attractive or...?

ei :): to be fair, zhongli finds childe attractive so...

gguang: I-

bei: LMAO PLEASE, GET HIM EI

smokinghotgingerajax: THE SLANDER.

smokinghotgingerajax: IM SUEING ALL OF YOU, MEANIES

aetherisaloser: well to be fair albedo should be the only person to see kaeya in that state /hj

albedoalberich<3: oh...

kaeyakreideprinz<3: ...why

LETSROCKANDROLL!!!!: i really wish i was blind right about now

lovelyzyunjin: same...

ayaya!!: LUMINE LIKE.

ayaya!!: lumine sweetie

ayaya!!: lumine baby, this isn't you 🥺

wetqiuqiu: im gonna kms /j

wetqiuqiu: well to be fair i am gonna write explicit stuff about kaebedo soon <33

kaeyakreideprinz<3: oh...

albedoalberich<3: i dont necessarily mind 

LUMINEISAFURRY: ALBEDO HELLO???

yassslaygayventi: albedo? 🤨📸

lisolluve: VENTI 😭

icyunyun: to be fair it happened to zhongli and childe when they got together so it should happen to them

hotlingling: OH SHUT UP YOU'RE ONLY TRYING TO DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND HERE

everyoursbarb: simp behaviour

ben10: simp behaviour

razor: simp behaveor

LETSROCKANDROLL!!!!: LETS GO RAZOR

icyunyun: let's stick to bullying childe and ayato 😔

wetqiuqiu: well thank u i appreciate it albedo <33

smokinghotgingerajax: what about me and kaeya uwu 🥺💞

kaeyakreideprinz<3: bro 🤨

wetqiuqiu: ew

smokinghotgingerajax: OH CMON I WAS THE FIRST ONE WHO PUT A KUDO IN UR WORK

albedoalberich<3: say anything about my kae and i'll put an end to you myself

keqingxin: either that or zhongli will fold him again

ganyubemine?: CONTEXT BRO

keqingxin: got bro-zoned by my girlfriend of 5 years 😔😔😔😔😔

yasslaygayventi: THIS IS WHEN WE START CHANGING SUBJECTS HA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😍😍😍😍😍

yassslaygayventi: like my kae? ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yassslaygayventi: anyway 😭😭😭

thehottestofthemall: guess venti's back to normal

yassslaygayventi: I WASNT NORMAL BEFORE ANYWAYS 👿👿💀💀💀💀💀

xiaoalatus: albedo murderer era

LUMINEISAFURRY: albedo yandere era

aetherisaloser: albedo serial killer going viral even tho he shouldnt be viral era

eularlarlar: that is scarily very accurate 

aetherisaloser: 😁😁😁😁😁😁

albedoalberich<3: death is just slleeping <3

keqingxin: yass murderer era slay!

albedoalberich<3: oh speaking of which @mom<3

mom<3: yes?

albedoalberich<3: i'd like to excuse me and kaeya, we're currently at my mother's house since klee had insisted. Kaeya is currently meeting with my family and we promise to be back by Monday morning for classes.

ayaya!!: it's giving fake excuse letter from a 6yr old so they can skip school

LUMINEISAFURRY: NOT THE ALBEDO SKANDER WHAT IS THIS

kiyoamber:): you screwed urself for that one ayaka

eularlarlar: watch the albedo simps come for her neck

eularlarlar: also aka kaeya

huhuloonasolos!: where's the lie 😭

mom<3: yes, it's no problem

diluluc: oh so that's why he's been spamming me SOS messages

diluluc:  [insert forwarded picture of Kaeya looking near to tears with the text 'IM SI NERVOUS I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF.jpeg]

thomaurs: yes and instead of helping your brother you expose him here

LUMINEISAFURRY: THOMA????

lisolluve: diluc's so fucked

arosari: slayy..

albedoalberich<3: ah no worries Kaeya's actually doing great with my family

albedoalberich<3[insert picture of Kaeya playing tea party with Klee.jpeg]

albedoalberich<3[insert selfie of Kaeya kissing Albedo's cheek, Klee kissing Kaeya's cheek and Alice (Albedo's foster mom) laughing at them in the background.jpeg]

LUMINEISAFURRY: AWWW THATS GENUINELY SO NCUTE

aetherisaloser: klee 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

mom<3: aww look how cute klee is

mom<3: she's still as adorable as she was when she was young

lisolluve: oh how cute, jean still loves klee despite not seeing her in so long

mom<3: i will always love klee, i miss her everyday

YOIYOIMIYYAYA!!: YOU SAID SHES SO?? WAH 😭

kaeyakreideprinz<3: I MISS YOU TOO SISTER JEAN

aetherisaloser: SISTER JEAN LMAOOOO

thehottestofthemall: kaeya james charles era ig

icyunyun: cute, it goes along with albedo's murderer phase

kaedehara-kazu: sounds like a scandal waiting to happen

yaehottestbitch: "Youtuber couple, Kaeya Alberich and Albedo Kreideprinz, has been accussed of charged assult againt fellow companion, Xingqiu Guhua"

yassslaygayventi: LMAO PLS

LUMINEISAFURRY: IM GONNA CRY

grrorou: sounds like a hit waiting to happen

ei :): to be fair anything My Yae writes will be successful 

yassslaygayventi: nvm i hope you guys choke

ganyubemine?: well at least we know venti is back to normal

yassslaygayventi: take me to therapy 😔

albedoalberich<3@kaeyakreideprinz<3 klee give kaeya his phone back

ayaya!!: what....

bei: LMAO WHAT

kaeyakreideprinz<3: BUT BIG BROTHER ALBEDO WANT TO TALK TO SISTYER JEAN

mom<3: klee?

kaeyakreideprinz<3: SISTER JEAN? WAHHH I MISSED YOU SO MUV=VH

mom<3: i have missed you too klee :DD 

kaeyakreideprinz<3: SISTER JEAN I MADE FRIENDZ AH SHOOL TODAY

mom<3: i'm happy you made friends and school today klee!

kaeyakreideprinz<3: THANK YU

kaeyakreideprinz<3: WAIT BIG BROTHER KAEYA IS KISZING BIG BROTHER ALBEDO I HVE TO BREAK THEM APART

kaeyakreideprinz<3: EW

kaeyakreideprinz<3: [insert blurry picture of Kaeya kissing Albedo.jpeg]

kaeyakreideprinz<3[insert shaky video of Klee yelling at Kaeya to stop kissing Albedo and Kaeya was just laughing and hugging Albedo close, kissing him again and Klee yells at him to stop.file]

LUMINEISAFURRY: PLEASE

yassslaygayventi: that made my day klee :(

yassslaygayventi: ALSO YES SLAY BEAT THEM UP FOR KISSING IN FRONT OF YOU

kaeyakreideprinz<3: i'm homhobiv

bei: ....

gguang: ...

gayatofrfr: get it ig

YOURONEANDONITTO!: HGEY THATS WHAT VENTI SAYS WHEN HE SEES TWO MEN KISSING ON THE STREETS

arosari: thats just sad, venti

yassslaygayventi: HELP

yassslaygayventi: it's my influence <3

scarakuzushi: drown and die

yasslaygayventi: 🥺

diluluc: well im glad kaeya's doing okay. Albedo please take care of my brother. he's my only one.

onewiththestars: diluc's at gun point i feel it

onewiththestars: i'm a fortune teller i can tell

ateezhongli: Miss Mona, isn't it called a predictor?

onewiththestars: i'm a three in one <33 best of both worlds <33

thomaurs: :))

gayatofrfr: you really can be scary sometimes, love

thomaurs: :DD

mom<3: im against violence around school but if this is what it takes for diluc to finnaly speak his true feelings then so be it

eularlarlar: i may be of assistance if you like

aetherisaloser: THE LESBIAN AGENSA IM TELLING YOU

thomaurs: ...... :)

YOIYOIMMIYA!!: THOMA'S SO SCARY STOPO IT

YOIYOIMMIYA!!: STOP HIM

albedoalbedrich<3: no worries diluc, i think hes doing just fine

albedoalberich<3[insert picture of Kaeya smiling over at Albedo qwhile helping Klee and Alice.jpeg]

ei :): the constant pictures of kaeya being happy with albedo is adorable

LUMINEISAFURRY: THE KAEVEDO CONTENT IS FEEDING MY SOUL

kiyoamber:): yeah esp with the long slow burn we got from them

diluluc: good..you have my thanks

diluluc: i'm glad kaeya's happy and that he has you

albedoalberich<3: thank you diluc :))

kaeyakreideprinz<3[insert picture of kaeya feeding albedo and albedo only scrunching his nose at him.jpeg]

yassslaygayventi: ISTG THIS WILL MAKE ME ACTUALLY HOMOPHOBIC

onewiththestars: ALLY?

fischltheprinzessinderverurteilung: ALLY!?

wetqiuqiu: OKAY SHUT IT LOSERS 

wetqiuqiu: KAEBEDO FLUFF IS NOT THE AGENDA WE ARE ON THE ANGST TRAIN

yassslaygayventi: XINGQIU STOP

LUMINEISAFURRY: SOMEONE STOP HIM

aetherisaloser@icyunyun 

icyunyun: DONT ASK ME THIS IS BEYONG MY CONTROL.

lisolluve: what a normal day we're having today

eularlarlar: you have therapy in two hours

lisolluve: that's what i said normal days to be had

LUMINEISAFURRY@hotlingling 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

hotlingling: no

hotlingling: y'all know xingqiu was an attention seeker this is all on you

wetqiuqiu: HEY WHAT THE FUCK

bei: true

bei: there was this one time in fencing class he did a fucking flip to impress chongyun and he fell on the floor after

gguang: uhm....

shenhe.: what a slay

huhuloonasolos!: NAHHH SHENHE 

smokinghotgingerajax: now that's some foul play right there <3

sucrowose!: a little random 

sucrowose!: i feel like childe's the type to type in slang and call himself a "youngster"

keqingxin: uhm...

LUMINESIAFURRY: NOW...

aetherisaloser: HELPPP

yassslaygayventi: his ugly ass old crusting boyfriend had something to do with that blame him

yaehottestbitch: OH.

thehottestofthemall: oh he's fighting back

ei :): i cannot wait for zhongli to throw rocks at you from the liyue dorm

ei :): the view will be nice from here

saravityyy: a beach chair will be ready for you if the outcome comes

yassslaygayventi: 🥺🥺🥺☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😔😔😔😔💔💔💔💔

thehottestofthemall: nevermind the emojis make him unlikeable again

ganyubemine?: LMAO

aetherisaloser: the rejection is getting to him

LUMINEISAFURRY: WHAT.

yasslaygayventi: OMG LUMINE SHUT UP.

aetherisaloser: i mean gay people <333333

ayaya!!: ...

ayaya!!: love, i love you but please you aren't saving anyone

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUNDAY, 07:00:06 PM

in the "THE TOO COOL FOR THE SERVER LMAOS" groupchat!

 

LUMINEISAFURRY: NAH LUMINE WTF

aetherisaloser: IM SORRY VENTI 😭😭💔

yassslaygayventi: WELL ITS OKAY

yasslaygayventi: BUT WHAT ABOUT DILUC HELP HES SO GOING TO CONNECT THE DOTS

yassslaygayventi: i didnt just like a taken man

yassslaygayventi: I LIKED A SMART ONE TOO

aetherisaloser: i'll pester xingqiu

LUMINEISAFURRY: omg youre such a loser

aetherisaloser: SHUT UP NOT NOW.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUNDAY, 06:37:56 PM

in the direct messages between 'aetherisaloser' and 'wetqiuqiu'

'aetherisaloser' sent a message!

 

aetherisaloser: your fic sucks

wetqiuqiu: i know what you're doing

wetqiuqiu: to be fair that was kind of bad bestie

aetherisaloser: I ALR APOLOGIZED TO VENTI ITS FINE 😭

wetqiuqiu: i'll only do this for venti

wetqiuqiu: the rejection got to you too

aetherisaloser: thanks i needed a good humbling

wetqiuqiu: my pleasure

wetqiuqiu: uwu

aetherisaloser: ....

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUNDAY, 07:08:34 PM

in the 'jean's beloved children <3' server!

 

wetqiuqiu: i will not wait y'all are losers

wetqiuqiu: SO BASICALLY

wetqiuqiu: "Cold...Like always" Albedo narrated to himself as he stared off at Dragonspine. He stood just outside his camp in Dragonspine and continued to observe his surroundings.

Cold. So cold. As it always was in Dragonspine. None of the conditions bothered the chief alchemist, Albedo. He was surely used to it was all. His laboratory was located there and if he hadn't gotten used to the cold climate of Dragonspine he would have frozen his ass off way back then. It was snowing heavily as it always was. Albedo wasn't that surprised with the circumstances. He reached his hand out and watched as the snowflakes land on it. He hummed a familiar tune as he watched the snow trickle down slowly.

hotlingling: you are not

wetqiuqiu: Dragonspine was a terrifying place to say the least. Due to recent events, it became even more alarming once Albedo knew his double was lurking around somewhere ready to kill him. He had been on his guard for these past few weeks and it's an understatement to say that he was growing restless and impatient. Sure, he was on his guard and ready to fight the failed experiment but he felt restless as he waited for the failed experiment to come to him instead. This clone situation had been stressful and Albedo couldn't help but be slightly annoyed with it. He felt empathy towards the clone. If he was in it's shoes he would do exactly what it was doing now but now wasn't the time to empathize with it. It was dangerous and out to get him Albedo should erase all feelings towards it.

He had been thinking and strategizing what to do with the clone situation by himself. He was his own ally and the only one who could defeat the wandering clone. It would be foolish to go after the clone itself. Albedo had thought of the consequences of his decisions and had concluded that this was the best choice. He felt ready to shed some blood, even if that blood was from his own master's failed experiment. That blood would be on his hands and he truly was preparing himself to accept that. He had found the joy of being brought into the world unlike the failed clone and it was after him for that very reason. He had the joy that the clone was yearning for so much. That joy was with Kaeya. It was with Klee. It was with his friends. It was with existing in the world itself. He had finally found the joy of being brought into the world and now he had to fight to keep that happiness.

albedoalberich<3: oh wait this sounds interesting keep going on

wetqiuqiu: SEE SOMEONE CAN APPRECIATE MY WORK

yaehottestbitch: the use of the scenario is quite fascinating

ei :): go on, young xingqiu

wetqiuqiu: HEHE

arosari: i can tell this is feeding his attention seeking persona

kiyoamber:): i'm starting to think rosaria is lisa's therapist

lisolluve: was it that obvious?

LUMINEISAFURRY: NAHHH STOP

diluluc: your writing is really good, xingqiu

wetqiuqiu: TY TY <3

wetqiuqiu: bedtime stories, losers, get comfortable <3

wetqiuqiu: He sighed and observed how his breathe had caught in the cold air, creating a white mist of sorts. The traveler would be the best ally to Albedo and he knew that. She and Paimon were two out of the three people who knew of the secret about the clone and everything that Albedo was trying to keep from the world. But she had left to handle under matters elsewhere and now she were no help. So, it was up to Albedo. It was for the best. Albedo would have been in the way of the traveler. It would be best to deal with this situation himself rather than rely on his friend. Her and Paimon had enough on their plates and Albedo felt a little bad when the traveler told him about their travels and quests in Inazuma. Albedo only sighed and told her not to overwork herself but he knew those words fell on deaf ears. Lumine and Paimon were safe from Albedo's troubles and that was all that mattered. This was his battle after all.

Same goes for his little sister and his boyfriend. His lover, Kaeya was one of the people who knew about his existence and his purpose for living and such. Albedo had told him everything one night and he felt safe. Kaeya had only pulled him closer to him while they laid in bed together while he narrated his origins. He remembered that night well. Kaeya whispered into his ear, "I love you, Albedo and that's all that would matter".

Albedo had responded with doubt, "But...how could you love someone like me?"

yassslaygayventi: NOT THE ANGST GET OUT OF HERE

kaedehara-kazu: no go on

scarakuzushi: you're only saying that because you like angst

kaedehara-kazu: it feeds on my old friend's loss

gayatofrfr: bro is in the military he's fine 😭

YOURONEANDONITTO!: BUT STILL GO ON BRO CRY IT OUT

kaedehara-kazu: No for i have had enough crying, there are no tears left to cry

ben10: spoken like a true arianator

LETSROCKANDROLL!!: NOT THE ARIANA

razor: get into it yuh

everyoursbarb: THATS A DIFFERENT ARTIST RAZOR 😭

kaeyakreideprinz<3: OOOH KLEE LIKES HER, SHE WORE THAT GREY DRESSY BACK THEN

mom<3: would you like to make you one like it, klee?

kaeyakreideprinz<3: REALLY/KL?

kaeyakreideprinz<3: YES PLEASE I LOVE YOU SISTER JEAN

eularlarlar: can you even sew, jean

mom<3: shush...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUNDAY, 07:38:24 PM

in the ' THE TOO COOL FOR THE GC LMAOS'

 

LUMINEISAFURRY: lumine your dumbass got lucky this one time

LUMINEISAFURRY: DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN

yasslaygayventi: WAIT WHAT DID XINGQIU SAY LET ME SEE

 

aetherisaloser sent a screenshot!

 

LUMINEISAFURRY: NAH THE FACT HE KNEW

yassslaygayventi: we love being loyal

yassslaygayventi: ehem

aetherisaloser: crying

aetherisaloser: i'm really sorry about that venti 😭

yassslaygayventi: thank you <//3 its fine dw

yassslaygayventi: IM TERYING SO GARD TO GET RID OF THESE FEELINGS I HATE THIS

yassslaygayventi: IM SORRY U EVEN HAD TO FREAK OUT OVER THAT BECAUSE OF ME

aetherisaloser: YOU DONT HAVE TO BE SORRY VENTI 😭

yassslaygayventi: I STILL FEEL THE NEED TO IM SORRY 💔😔

LUMINEISAFURRY: OMG STOP SAYING SORRY I'LL STAB UR EYES OUT AND SMASH UR PHONES

LUMINEISAFURRY: EVERYONE IS SORRY THATS THAT

yassslaygayventi: i'll fix the problem guys dw, i'll be fine

yassslaygayventi: i'll fix the problem by ignoring it <3

LUMINEISAFURRY: that's not healthy but slay

aetherisaloser: get the chair and table. Dr. Lumine is in the house to heal venti's already broken soul

yassslaygayventi: it's always been broken anyways 😭

LUMINEISAFURRY: book rosaria

LUMINEISAFURRY: she helped me get over my sister issues

yassslaygayventi: HELP

aetherisaloser: OUT AETHER.

Notes:

i would like to say go read my other fics because i need clout especially my new Zhongchi fic, it kept me from publishing this chapter /j

THE FIC HERE IS "It Feels Cold Without You" by yours truly! So basically the writer of all the fics by kodzukaeya is clearly Xingqiu <3

Next chapter we may see (many) new faces! (thanks hyv i will suffer with more characters)