Chapter Text
Kakashi’s been having a particularly unpleasant time with Obito’s eye, as of late.
And he dismisses it, at first. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d dealt with odd twinges or double vision, and while the first few occasions had been particularly memorable - especially the instance where Tenzou had been the first to notice, and had convinced himself that the Sharingan was capable of spontaneous combustion - even wiping beads of blood from his tear ducts became rather routine.
That being said, it’s never quite burned before. He likens it to severe sleep deprivation, except ten times worse and he’s also dunking his head into a vat of lava.
Of course, the moment he raises his hitai-ate to take note of Sasuke’s form, he experiences a nasty bout of vertigo that has him blinking away the sudden imagery of fluttering leaves. And… a nodding branch, for some reason.
“Maa…” he lets out slowly. “Why don’t we pause here, hm?”
Sasuke narrows his eyes, then slowly rises from his crouch. “Why?”
Because it’s nothing less than a miracle that I’m still standing, at the moment, Kakashi does not say. Instead, he offers his student an eye-smile and pats him twice on the head.
“Breaks are important,” Kakashi tells him, pleasant as can be. He’s not lying, though he’s certain that just about anyone he knows would call him a raging hypocrite. Or, in Tenzou’s case, put on that exasperated look he only ever seems to use in Kakashi’s presence.
Sasuke stares at him, blatantly disgruntled. But instead of radiating irritation or calling him out on his laziness like Kakashi expects him to do, he forces a short, “Fine.”
So. Either he’s suddenly developed a vested interest in his own wellbeing, or Kakashi looks even worse than he thought. And even if he hadn’t known that the former option is downright impossible, the way Sasuke is eyeing him like he’s about to keel over is enough to clue him in on his current state.
Unfortunately, Kakashi doesn’t have the time to say another word, much less sit down, because life is cruel and hates him in particular. “Ah,” he lets out, watching as half a dozen trees fall in the distance. “Wonderful.”
While something like this might not normally be much of a concern - especially during the chunin exams, where the competition generally disregards such ridiculous concepts as ‘moderation’ and ‘concern for their health and safety’ - he and Sasuke are in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, a good hour or two away from the village even at top speed. Not far enough to completely distance themselves from the Shodaime’s forest, but certainly far enough that no one should be lurking anywhere nearby.
Suddenly, he remembers Naruto’s enthusiastic retelling of their experience in the Forest of Death, and finds himself trying (and failing) to ward off a budding headache.
“Head back to the village.”
Sasuke’s head jerks towards him. “What?”
Kakashi removes a glove, grimacing beneath his mask. “If I’m right, Orochimaru is in that forest,” he says plainly, startling Sasuke when Bisuke and Bull both appear in a puff of smoke. “You’ll need to hurry back, and inform the Hokage.”
“That—” Sasuke lets out, scowling. “And what if he’s brought someone with him?”
“They’ll protect you,” he says, gesturing towards his ninken, who both offer affirmative barks. “And if worse comes to worst, I’m sure you can handle throwing off a lackey or two. Him? Not so much.” When the boy makes to protest further, he resists the urge to sigh. “You’re strong, Sasuke, I’ll give you that. But even the Hokage would be hard-pressed to finish off a Sannin.”
Which. He probably shouldn’t say, but it has the intended effect of surprising the boy, so whatever.
“...And what about you?”
“I’ll go hold him off, for now.”
“You just said the Hokage couldn’t take him,” Sasuke replies. He finds himself slightly surprised at the poorly-concealed concern in his voice, and promptly feels a stab of guilt for the thought.
“I said it’d be difficult, not impossible,” Kakashi points out airily, even though he’s fairly certain that he’d lose to Orochimaru in just about any circumstance where the man wasn’t missing a limb or four. Then, much to his genin’s consternation, Kakashi pauses to ruffle his hair. “I’ll be fine, Sasuke.”
“...Whatever,” he eventually says, turning along with Bisuke and Bull. “...Naruto won’t be happy if you don’t watch his match.”
Kakashi suppresses a snort. “Maa, of course. I wouldn’t dare disappoint Naruto,” he says, outright smirking when the Uchiha’s ears turn pink. “See you soon, hm?”
“Hn,” Sasuke says eloquently, while both of his ninken bark in response.
The moment they’re gone from his line of sight, Kakashi shifts his gaze towards the forest and resists the urge to groan.
“—isn’t this curious?” a silky voice murmurs, just as Kakashi arrives.
Fuck, he thinks succinctly. And then again, once he notices the ANBU that falls, slumped against a splintered tree.
“...Ah,” a barely-scratched Orochimaru lets out, blinking. “It appears that we have another guest.” His gaze shifts towards Kakashi, lips curling into a slimy sort of smile. “Hatake-san, is it?”
The ANBU, face cloaked in shadow, twitches.
“Do you two know each other?” Orochimaru wonders. “Or… I suppose you wouldn’t, considering…”
Kakashi presses his lips together beneath his mask. “Orochimaru,” he says plainly. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sure we both know why I’m here, Hatake,” he replies, almost wryly. “Though I suppose if you’ve noticed me, you’ve already sent Sasuke off by now, hm? What a shame…”
Kakashi raises a brow, knowing full-well that Orochimaru sees his attempt to stall for what it is. “You don’t seem all that disappointed.”
“I have found something interesting to occupy my time with,” Orochimaru says, gaze briefly sliding towards the injured ANBU. “And I doubt he can be all that far just yet. If I were to leave now, or even soon…”
“I’m afraid that I can’t let you leave,” Kakashi says, faux-apologetically.
Orochimaru laughs, low and amused. “You always were rather confident, weren’t you?”
Kakashi allows his eyes to curve upwards at the blatant jab. “Maa, what can I say? It’s part of my charm.”
“Oh,” the ANBU mutters, managing to sound equal parts offended and delirious, “...now you’re a chatterbox…” He mumbles something else under his breath, ending on a half-slurred, “Bastard.”
Kakashi feels a vague spike of bewilderment when Orochimaru genuinely sighs at the ANBU’s dazed ramblings.
“You never shut up, do you?”
“No,” the ANBU spits. Genuinely. As in, Kakashi watches his crimson spittle stain the grass.
“Of course not,” Orochimaru says. “Though as interesting as this is, I’m afraid that I’ll have to be on my way now.”
Kakashi does not expect him to go for the man he’d just insulted. The Sharingan, however, is actually rather helpful when it’s not forcing him into abrupt comas, and he manages to intercept Orochimaru just as the ANBU flinches.
“Holy fuck,” the man blurts out, holding a hand in front of his face.
“You’re protecting him,” Orochimaru notes, raising a brow. “Why is that? You have to know he’s not truly one of yours.”
Kakashi bites back a grimace.
He does. He has. But he’s also fairly certain that this man, as odd as he seems, is likely the same person who Naruto had complained about, and who later received hesitant gratitude from his genin when they’d realized the danger they’d actually been in.
“Maa,” Kakashi lets out airily. “I suppose I’m feeling particularly generous today.”
He just hopes, a little desperately, that this doesn’t end up biting him in the ass.
“Very well, then,” Orochimaru says plainly. “Though if you insist on acting like a dog, you’ll be slaughtered like one.”
Kakashi promptly grabs the not-ANBU by the shoulder, ignoring his pained wheeze as he drags them both away from an incredibly-destructive, concentrated blast of wind.
“Hm,” he lets out absently, suddenly remembering the fallen trees from earlier. “Fuck.”
The fake ANBU, battered as he is, lets out a snort.