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Chapter Text

Great. I try doing something nice for a change, and this is how karma thanks me!

A simple hiking trip. No training, well, not really. A little team building, but the kids had been training so hard over the past few weeks, Kakashi had decided to reward them with a little R&R.

His genin were fighting well, but this battle was well beyond their scope. They had run into elite ninja from the Village Hidden in the Sound, who were hellbent on destroying them.

Correction…hellbent on destroying him.

They must have been tracking me.

Three he had already taken down, aided heavily by his Sharingan and Chidori. The fourth opponent he was having trouble getting the upper hand on. He was running low on chakra and the battle was fierce. This one had no jutsu to copy, just pure strength. Kakashi opened the First Gate, the Gate of Opening, and used brute force to take him down. But it was a battle that took too long, one that left him heaving, muscles trembling in fatigue and pain.

The kids! Where are the kids?! His heart pounding against his breastbone, he turned to locate his students, scanning the forest swiftly, hardly noticing that night had fallen.

There! Sakura and Sasuke were back to back, dodging attacks with their kunai, protecting each other’s blind spot. With attacks coming from all sides, they were having a hard time keeping up. He could see cuts and scrapes but no major injuries. But before he could breathe a sigh of relief, he saw a rain of kunai aiming down from above, fire bombs attached to each one. He started running to them, ignoring his screaming body, needing to get them out of the way.

He would never make it.

Second Gate, the Gate of Healing…OPEN!

The burst of energy from the increased chakra flow was instantaneous. He sprung forward, moving faster than the eye could see. He landed next to the surprised genin, scooped them in his arms, and leapt away right before the bombs came down and exploded. Sakura screamed in his ear, her surprise at both her sensei’s speed and the bombs overwhelming her.

The Jonin moved them high into one of the giant trees. “Stay here,” was his firm command.

“Naruto?” Sakura asked, her voice high with fear. “Where is Naruto?”

As if on cue, the words “Shadow Clone Jutsu!” reached their ears and all turned to look upon the battle where about ten clones had appeared, still fighting the enemy. There were three left. Kakashi leapt down, hearing Naruto yell, “Take this!” but the ninja easily knocked off two of his clones. The teen had used up a lot of his chakra and Kakashi could see that he was nearing his limit.

“Naruto! Get out of here! Stay with the others!”

“No way, Kakashi-sensei! I’m just getting warmed up!”

“You knucklehead! Get out of here…now!”

He grabbed one of the Naruto’s on the shoulder, his Sharingan easily telling him which one was the real Naruto. He flung him up into the trees, the poof, poof, poof of his clones disappearing echoing around the forest. Sasuke leapt out and caught Naruto, bringing him to the branch that Sakura stood on.

“Urgh!!! Sasuke, lemme go!!! I need to get back to the battle!”

“Cool it,” the Uchiha said sternly. “We aren’t skilled enough to win this battle, we’d just be in Kakashi’s way right now.”

You are correct, Sasuke. Keep them up there, I promised you guys once that I don’t allow my comrades to die. And I aim to keep that promise.

Kakashi did a series of backflips, drawing the enemy away from his students. He quickly made a series of hand signs to focus his chakra so he was ready once his feet hit the water.

“Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu!”

The dragon rose out of the water, swift and smooth, and heading straight for the three remaining enemy ninja. The power of the jutsu blew hard across the land…even high in the tree the three kids had to shield their faces. The enemy ninja all screamed and tried to flee, but the dragon was too fast and powerful, taking all of them and plunging them deep into the river. Kakashi broke free of the water’s surface and climbed onto the bank, his breath coming in heavy gasps.

From above he heard a boisterous voice cry out, “Yeah! Way to go Kakashi-sensei!” He looked up to see the blonde pumping his fist in the air and Sakura was grinning. Even Sasuke looked satisfied.

“It’s over,” he informed them, trying to hide the tremors that were sweeping over his body.

Suddenly, evil laughter filled the forest and a deep voice said, “Not quite, Kakashi.”

*******

Naruto was grinning and laughing. “Oh man, Kakashi-sensei is so cool! Did you see how he took them all down? No sweat!”

“No sweat my eye,” Sakura countered. “He’s going to need some time to recover before we head back…we all will.”

“Not me! I’m ready to go again!”

Sasuke sighed. “Idiot.”

“It’s over,” they heard Kakashi say, but then an evil laughter filled the forest, gripping all of their hearts in fear.

“Not quite, Kakashi.”

The three genin looked to the north and saw the owner of the voice. It was a tall ninja with dark skin and black hair down to his knees, mouth twisting in a grin that didn’t look human.

“So, Kakashi, you’ve survived my companions. Not that I expected anything less, they are far below my skill. But I am especially glad they did not succeed in killing you so that now I can have the pleasure!”

Naruto prepared to yell an insult at the surprise arrival, but Sasuke was quicker and slammed his hand over his mouth.

“Shhhh!” he commanded. “We don’t need to draw attention to ourselves.”

Naruto mumbled something unintelligible under Sauske’s hand.

“He’s right, Naruto,” Sakura said. “See that tattoo on his arm? He’s an elite assassin. We could barely defend ourselves against those other ninja…we are certainly no match for this guy.”

Naruto reached up and ripped Sasuke’s hand off his face with a frustrated growl. “Maybe, but look at Kakashi!”

The three teammates then focused their attention on their teacher. He was now standing, but not to his full height, and they could see his muscles shaking even at this distance. It was clear that the man was not in his top form. Words were exchanged by the adults that the kids could not make out and then the fighting began.

“We’ve seen him fight before,” the blonde said quietly, his blue orbs unblinking. “But I’ve never seen him look this…this bad!”

Sakura made a small sound of shock as she realized that he was right.

“That’s true,” Sasuke mused. “Alright, new plan. We’ll stay out of it, unless it gets bad.”

“ ‘Gets bad’?” Naruto repeated, a little annoyed. “The guy’s in rough shape. What does bad look like?”

Sasuke’s eyes were still on the battle raging down below. “We’ll know.”

Suddenly, Kakashi kicked his opponent high into the air, rising behind him, his Chidori singing.

“Hey!” Naruto cried out. “Way to go, Kakashi sensei!”

Sakura gave a happy sound of agreement.

The two ninja came crashing back down to earth, the enemy crying out in pain. Kakashi leapt away, but not as gracefully as the kids were using to seeing. He landed on his hands and knees and stayed there, quivering.

“Alright!” Naruto shrieked happily, pumping his fist in the air. “He got him!”

Then, to everyone’s horror, the enemy ninja began to laugh and actually stood up far too easily.

“He didn’t hit him with the jutsu!” Sasuke realized. “If he had, that guy would have been torn in two… The jutsu must have failed! He’s reached his limit!”

Below them, Kakashi tried to stand, but his body was too beaten and he slipped, his elbows trembling trying to keep him at least semi-upright.

The next choice was natural. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all leapt down at their fastest speeds, in front of their sensei protectively, kunai at the ready.

“Wha-what are you doing?” Kakashi’s voice, while weaker, still had an edge of authority. “Get out of here!”

“Not on your life, sensei!” Naruto shouted.

“You can’t defeat this guy,” Kakashi informed them, a hint of despair just touching the notes of his voice. He got to his feet with obvious sheer will power, but his knees trembled so bad, it was a wonder he could stand at all. His breath was coming in heaving gasps, but he kept his eyes locked on their opponent.

“Huh. And you can?” Sasuke asked of him. “Face it, Kakashi, you can’t either. You’re too beat up. So, like it or not, you need us.”

Naruto gave a sharp nod of agreement. “I’ll never abandon one of my teammates! And I never go back on my word! Believe it!”

The enemy ninja, who had never revealed his name, laughed again. “Foolish brats! I am a little surprised that none of my companions could finish you off, but then again, you had the great Kakashi Hatake protecting you and getting you all out of harm’s way. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter to me whether you stupid brats live or die. All that matters is Kakashi’s death!”

Naruto held his kunai up and gave a threatening glare. “Oh, yeah? Well, you’ll have to go through us first!”

The Sound ninja laughed again (man, that was getting annoying). “Then it’s a good thing I don’t have to!”

Suddenly, he disappeared from view. Before the trio could react, the enemy appeared behind Kakashi, a strange yellow chakra surrounding his right hand, which he flung into Kakashi’s lower back. Kakashi’s eyes went wide and he let out a blood-curdling scream, a cry none of his students imagined could ever come from the hardened warrior. His eyes rolled back in his head and he began to fall. Sakura dropped her kunai and caught him before he hit the ground.

“You…you BASTARD!!!”

Suddenly Naruto leapt forward and smashed his fist into the chest of the enemy, sending him flying back at least one hundred feet. The rage serging within him, he rushed forward, shouting his war cry. “I’m gonna kill you!”

“Naruto!” Sasuke shouted, but it was like he didn’t hear him. He sprung forward, catching up with him just as Naruto was about to lay another punch on the man. “You idiot, pay attention! He’s already dead!”

Breathing heavily, Naruto focused on Sasuke’s words with some effort. He looked closely at the body in his grasp. Sure enough, it was limp. Lifeless.

“He died the minute he hit Kakashi. It’s over now.”

Shoulders shaking, Naruto eyed the enemy and whispered, “Go to Hell.” He then unceremoniously dropped him onto the ground, letting him fall in a graceless heap. His clenched fists trembled.

Sasuke shifted his gaze from the fallen ninja to his friend. “Come on. We need to get back to them.”

Naruto gave one curt nod. “Right.”

The boys turned and ran back to where Sakura was still supporting their teacher, one arm around his waist, the other supporting his head at her shoulder. Naruto dropped to his knees, his emotions threatening to overtake him. “Sakura? Is…is he…”

She shook her head. “He’s still alive.” Her tear rimmed eyes met his. “But for how long, I don’t know.”

For a moment, the kids looked at their sensei, helpless and nearly lifeless in Sakura’s arms. All of their training had not prepared them for this.

Nothing could have prepared them for this.

Chapter Text

It was Sasuke who broke the silence and took the lead.

“Alright, first things first. Kakashi’s back is bleeding, we need to get him bandaged up. Sakura, keep supporting him. Naruto, help me cut his shirt off.”

“Yeah, ok,” they both said quietly, almost at the exact same time.

The boys removed their sensei’s shirt, careful not to also cut and accidentally remove his mask. Naruto bit his lip at seeing Kakashi’s muscles still in spasm. His back had five angry gashes on it, almost like he had been sliced by an animal. Crimson blood danced across his pale skin.

“There’s a healing ointment in my pouch,” Sakura informed them quietly. “I doubt it’ll do much good, but it’s better than nothing.”

Sasuke nodded. “It’ll help reduce the risk of infection, at least.” He reached into her pouch and took out the small jar, handing it to Naruto, who was closest to the wounds. Naruto was silent as he dipped his hand in the salve and gently worked it into the wounds. Once he was done, Sasuke produced the bandages and they wrapped them around his back, all three trying to ignore that some blood was still seeping through.

“That’ll have to do for now,” Sasuke stated. “Alright, Sakura, just keep supporting him. Do you still pack a survival blanket?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Naruto, go into the forest and find two sturdy sticks, about seven feet each.”

“Right!” He leapt to his feet, his hands forming a familiar sign. “Shadow Clone Jutsu!” Two clones appeared in a puff of smoke. “Alright guys, you heard what Sasuke said. Let’s go!”

“Yeah!” one of the clones said. “With several of us, it’ll take way less time!”

“Smart thinking!” the other clone said with a smile. And with that the three of them ran into the forest, each in a different direction.

While he was gone, Sasuke fetched the survival blanket, laying it out flat. He then retrieved some wire from his own pack. “Naruto, hurry up!”

“I found them!” Naruto came running back a stick in each hand. His clones disappeared as he handed the sticks to Sasuke, who started threading them to the blanket, assembling a makeshift stretcher.

Once the stretcher was done, Sasuke laid it out. Straightening, he looked at Naruto. “Channel your chakra into your arms and bring Kakashi over.”

Naruto gave one nod with a grunt of acknowledgment. He knelt in front of Sakura and slid his arms underneath the Jonin. He channeled his chakra to his arms, which would allow him to lift his teacher easily. But before he could, Sakura caught his eye.

“Be gentle with him, Naruto.” She spoke softly. “His body is still in spasm.”

“Yeah, I got it,” he said, his voice quiet.

He lifted Kakashi, carried him over to the stretcher, and, as gently as he could, laid his sensei down. Kakashi groaned, but still showed no signs of waking.

“It’s ok, sensei,” Naruto reassured him, hand on his shoulder. He didn’t know if Kakashi could even hear him, but it seemed a good idea to provide at least some form of comfort. He reached up and maneuvered his headband to cover his Sharingan eye. “We’ll get you home and you’ll be back to normal in no time.”

Sasuke straightened his shoulders. “Alright. It’s going to be slow going carrying Kakashi back to the village. Naruto, you’re with me on that. Sakura, you need to run ahead and get help. Somebody who can help us get him there faster.”

Sakura’s face took on a look of determination. “Right,” she said, then took off towards the village.

Sasuke looked down at Kakashi, noticing that he was starting to shiver from more than just spasms. He grabbed the man’s ruined shirt and vest to cover him, but it wasn’t enough. “Naruto! Take off your jacket.”

Understanding, Naruto pulled his jacket off and covered Kakashi’s torso with it. It didn’t do much, being too small, but it was better than nothing.

“We’d better get moving,” Sasuke said. “The chill in this night air is not good for him.”

“Right.”

Naruto picked up the front end of the stretcher and Sasuke the rear. They then began making their slow trek back to Konoha.

*******

Sakura leapt through the forest, springing from branch to branch as fast as her legs would take her. It didn’t matter how tired she felt after the battle, right now, she was running on adrenaline. The edge of the forest coming near, she landed down onto the trail and sprinted forward.

Only half an hour away from the village!

Suddenly, she became aware of a figure walking down the trail. Well, if you could call it walking. The man had his legs high in the air, walking on his hands, and counting his steps.

“Hey! Hey, sensei!”

He looked up at her with a smile, teeth flashing oddly in the moonlight, raising one hand in a thumbs up as she stopped in front of him.

“Well, well, if it isn’t…ummm, sorry, I’m no good with faces, but I do know you are a student of my eternal rival! Out for some night training, taking advantage of your youth? An excellent idea, especially on a night such as this!” He was speaking quickly and exuberantly, in the way that only he could. He leapt to his feet, raising fists in the air. “Why, I’ll need to train my students twice as hard to keep up with Kakashi…I won’t let him win again! Our eternal rivalry continues!!!”

“Sensei!” Sakura shouted, not able to keep the tears out of her eyes.

The man’s attitude shifted, definitely becoming aware that something was not right. He knelt down in front of her, expression serious. “My name is Might Guy. What is your name?”

“S…Sakura.”

“Well, Sakura, tell me what’s wrong.”

After holding the tears at bay for so long, combined with her exhaustion, Sakura could not stop the tears flowing down her cheeks. “We…we were ambushed. Kakashi-sensei, he’s…he’s hurt. Badly. Naruto and Sasuke are bringing him back, but we need help.”

Guy reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Take me to him.”

*******

The walk back was slow and depressing. Naruto couldn’t help but shiver a little as a light wind stirred the chilly air. With only his undershirt on, he could feel goosebumps prickling his skin. Needing a distraction, he leaned his head back towards Sasuke.

“Hey. Any change?”

He heard the Uchiha sigh. “No. He’s still the same as before.”

“That jutsu he got hit with…I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Yeah. It’s definitely doing something to him. But what exactly that is, I don’t know.”

Naruto made a sound mixed with frustration and sadness. His sensei had become one of the few precious people in his life. After being alone for so long, the thought of losing any of his friends…

He closed his eyes and shook his head vehemently. No! I won’t think about that!

“Naruto! Sasuke!”

“Huh?” Naruto looked ahead to see Sakura running towards them. And close behind was a funny looking guy in a green suit with a bowl cut.

How’s a goofy guy like that gonna help?

*******

As they approached the two boys carrying Kakashi on the makeshift stretcher, Guy immediately knew how bad it was. But when they caught up to the boys, he flashed a smile.

“Might Guy, in the flesh!” he proclaimed with a thumbs up, teeth flashing in the moonlight. He knew how important it was to help keep the kids’ morale up.

There was slight relief on all the genin’s faces, but Naruto looked back at Sasuke, who motioned that they lower Kakashi to the ground.

“Sakura filled me in on what happened. You are all lucky to be alive.” He knelt down beside Kakashi, feeling his expression grow very serious. “Of course, I would expect no less of my rival to train his pupils so well.”

Kakashi…I have fought at your side and seen you injured many times. But this….

“Rival?” Naruto repeated, unknowingly bringing his attention back. “Are you guys enemies or something?”

Guy chuckled softly. “Quite the contrary. It’s very possible that Kakashi is the best friend I have.”

He leaned forward, sliding one arm underneath Kakashi’s shoulders and the other his knees. Gently, he lifted him up, Kakashi’s head resting against his shoulder. The Copy Ninja gave a soft cry of agony that made Guy’s heart twist.

To vocalize pain while completely unconscious…? Kakashi…what did that jutsu do to you?

It took Guy a few minutes to realize that he had just been standing motionless, staring at the charge in his arms. He looked up to see the trio of teens staring at him, worry plastered between their brows.

He turned around. “Alright you three,” he declared, breaking the silence. “Let’s hurry up and get Kakashi to the medical corps!”

The genin all nodded. “Right!” they agreed in unison. The ninja sprinted towards Konoha, towards home, Guy sensing that they were all silently praying that Kakashi would be all right.

Chapter Text

Kakashi felt himself slowly rising through the layers of consciousness. Something had happened…something bad. He grimaced, struggling to remember, his mind wrapped in dense fog.

There had been a battle, that much he knew. Had he been alone?

…no…

There were others there…others he needed to protect…

His genin!

Where was he? Was the battle still going? Were his students alive? Or…

“Guys!” he shouted, shooting upright. He had to find them!

Pain shot through his entire body, forcing him to cry out. He felt several pairs of hands on him, he tried to struggle his way out, survival instinct kicking in. But his body was too weak and he fell back, knowing he was at the mercy of whoever was blocking him. His heart twisted, but then voices reached his ears.

“Kakashi-sensei!”

“Keep him down!”

“Hey, take it easy, will ya?”

He forced his right eye open, blinking several times, trying to clear his bleary vision. His blood rang in his ears and his chest was heaving with quick, shallow breaths. Slowly, his vision took in the owner’s of the hands that were on him.

Naruto! Sasuke! Sakura!

The trio of teens had their eyes on him, watching him, unblinking. He closed his eye, trying to calm his breathing. He felt their hands slowly being removed, Sakura’s soft voice saying, “It’s ok, sensei. We’re all here, we’re safe. You’re in the hospital.”

“Are…are you guys ok?” His voice was weak and raspy, the words scraping painfully against his dry throat.

Naruto, sitting on the end of the bed on his knees, gave him a large grin with a thumbs up. “Oh, yeah! Definitely! No sweat!”

“No sweat?!” Sakura turned and punched Naruto square on the jaw. “How can you be so dumb?”

“Ugh! Hey, gimmie a break!”

“Uh, guys?” Kakashi said, voice barely over a whisper. “Mind keeping it down?” His head was pounding.

The two immediately ceased their sparing.

“Right,” Naruto said quietly.

“Sorry, sensei,” came Sakura’s soft apology.

Sasuke turned to face him. “How are you feeling, sensei?”

“Well,” he mused, trying to swallow some of the dryness hanging in his throat. “I’ve been better.” He looked around, taking in that he was hooked up to a couple of IV’s… probably fluids and morphine. The blanket was pulled up to his torso and his reflection in the window assured him his mask was still securely in place. Even in the window, he could see how pale he was. “How…long have I been out?”

“Three days,” Sakura informed him, “ever since the battle ended.”

“How did you guys defeat that last ninja?”

“He died right when he hit you,” Sasuke answered.

Realization came slowly. “So that means, you guys brought me back?”

“Uh huh,” Naruto said. “While Sasuke and I moved you with a stretcher he made, Sakura ran ahead and got Guy sensei. We got you back in a flash once he got there.”

Kakashi closed his eye, silently thanking the exuberant shinobi. While he was a lot to handle sometimes, the self proclaimed Handsome Devil of the Leaf Village could always be depended upon.

“Thank you,” he told them. “You three have really grown.”

Naruto growled, his hands twisting into fists on the blanket. “But not enough. If we had been stronger, we would’ve been able to stop that last ninja before he hurt you!”

“You guys followed orders, protected your team, and got everyone back home. All of that makes a success.”

The door to Kakashi’s room suddenly opened and a voice said, “Well, Mr. Hatake, it is good to see that you’re finally awake.”

“Dr. Akira,” Sakura greeted her.

The brown haired woman walked over, a smile on her face. “Alright, kids, shuffle on out of here and give your sensei some privacy while I check him over.”

“I should get going anyway,” Sakura said. “My parents will be expecting me for dinner.” As the three walked out, she looked at Sasuke. “You know, you could come if you want.”

“No thanks,” came the flat reply.

“Sakura! I’d be more than happy to have dinner with you,” Naruto said enthusiastically.

“Shut up, you moron!”

The door closed, shutting Kakashi off from their conversation. He kept his eye on the door for a moment. “It’s easy to forget they are just kids.”

“They’ve been quite worried about you, you know,” Akira said as she took his vitals. Her voice took on a serious tone. “And they have a right to be.”

Kakashi sighed, fatigue washing over him. “It’s that bad, huh?”

The doctor sighed, putting her hand on his shoulder. “The details can wait. Right now, can you tell me how your pain is?”

There wasn’t one part of his body that didn’t ache. He had a terrible migraine and his stomach was in knots. Still he said, “I can handle it.”

Akira gave him a smirk and rolled her eyes, in an expression that clearly showed the irritation medical staff constantly endured dealing with shinobi. “Well, you’re already on morphine, but let me know if your pain worsens. But right now, you really need your rest, so get some sleep, Mr. Hatake. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

The door closed softly behind the doctor, finally the room was quiet. He looked out the window, seeing leaves being carried off in the wind. He closed his eye, trying to remember the details of the battle. It came in fuzzy bits and pieces. He knew he had completely exhausted his chakra and stretched himself to his very limit. He was no stranger to injury or chakra exhaustion.

But after being unconscious for three days, why had his chakra not replenished?

He was asleep before he could begin to contemplate an answer.

*******

Birds chirping on the windowsill brought Kakashi out of his slumber. The sun was already above the mountain. Strange…he was usually awake before dawn.

Man…I’m really out of it.

“Hey, good morning, Kakashi sensei!”

Kakashi looked at the figure walking over, waving at him. “Oh…hi, Naruto.” He was relieved to hear his voice was a little stronger than yesterday.

“I got up early to do a little training,” the blonde said excitedly, putting his hands behind his head. “But I thought I’d come see how you’re doing before I go to Ichiraku Ramen for some breakfast.”

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. “That was very thoughtful of you.”

Naruto giggled as he walked around to sit on Kakashi’s right side. “I’m sure that you’ll be outta here in no time, sensei! Then you can get back to training us!”

Before he could reply, the door opened again and Dr. Akira walked in. “Good morning, Mr. Hatake. Ah, another visitor again so soon?”

“Another? Lady, I was here yesterday!”

“Naruto, calm down,” Kakashi sighed.

The doctor seemed unfazed by the teen’s outburst and walked over. “Alright, Mr. Hatake, I need to examine these wounds on your back. Can you sit up and swing your legs to the side, please?”

“Yeah,” he said, starting to push himself up. He made it halfway before he felt himself slipping back.

Damn! Why is my body still so weak?

He felt a pair of hands grab him, steady but gentle. He looked up to see it was Naruto. The boy’s face had changed to a softer expression. “Hey, sensei, I’ll help you, ok?”

“Thanks,” he said quietly, unsettled that his student continued to see him in such a vulnerable state. He swung his legs over the side, Naruto’s hands on his quivering shoulders.

Akira lifted his shirt and skillfully cut the bandages away. “I’m a little concerned that you’re still bleeding,” she said thoughtfully. “With the medical ninjutsu applied when you first arrived, the wounds should not be bleeding anymore.”

Kakashi felt her hands hover over his back and then the familiar tingles of medical ninjutsu warm his skin. He closed his eye, trying to keep his breathing under control.

“Hey, sensei?” Naruto ventured quietly. “Uh… you aren’t looking so good.”

“It’s the morphine,” he replied bitterly. “It always makes me nauseous.”

The genin twisted his face. “Oh…you’re not gonna hurl, are you?”

Kakashi gave a soft chuckle. “No.”

They stayed in silence until the doctor was done and had wrapped his wounds once again. “Alright,” she said, “that should do it. You can lie back now, Mr. Hatake.”

Aided by Naruto, Kakashi settled back against the pillow, fighting the urge to collapse against it. He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath until he let it out, a little more forceful than he meant. He felt his body shaking, just the act of sitting had exhausted him. “What…is wrong with me?”

Akira sighed. “We’re not sure. You’re not replenishing chakra at your normal rate, in fact, you’ve only recovered about ten percent. That’s definitely contributing to your slow healing. Best thing right now is for you to rest.”

Naruto pulled his eyes away from his sensei and looked at the doctor. “You’ll…find a way to help him, right?”

Akira gave him a small smile. “We’re doing everything we can, you can be sure of that. Now, let’s head out so that your sensei can go back to sleep.”

Unable to fight the fatigue, Kakashi was asleep before they left the room.

*******

“Oh, you’re here to see Kakashi Hatake? I believe he’s actually outside at the moment.”

Guy flashed a smile and thumbs up at the receptionist. “All right, thank you very much!”

Leave it to Kakashi to not stay put. It is odd that he hasn’t actually tried to escape to his apartment…he hates hospitals.

Kakashi had actually been in the hospital for a week already. Guy walked back outside and along the hospital grounds. He saw Kakashi sitting on a bench, clad in a simple blue tunic with matching pants. He might’ve looked normal, were it not for the IV pole next to him and lack of familiar orange book in his hand. A figure clad in orange and blue was standing in front of him, talking excitedly.

“Ok, I gotta run,” he heard Naruto say when he was close enough. The kid took off in the opposite direction, waving as he went. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sensei!”

Guy laughed. “Ah, he has a lot of energy that kid!”

“Guy?” Kakashi shifted his gaze to meet his. “What are you doing here?”

“Why, seeing how my eternal rival is doing, of course! How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” was the quick and too short reply.

Guy chose to ignore it. “I just got back from my mission. I haven’t seen you since we brought you to the hospital, I didn’t want you to have a lack of caring visitors!”

Kakashi smirked under his mask. “Honestly, I’ve had about all I can take with ‘caring visitors’. Sauske and Sakura have visited a couple of times, but Naruto has literally been here every day. Truth be told, it’s getting a little annoying.”

Guy sat down beside him. “A student who cares for his teacher is not a bad thing, Kakashi.”

The Copy Ninja sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. “I know that. It’s just… well… I’ve never actually had a team of students before. I’m used to being on my own.”

Guy nodded his agreement. “I know.” He gave a chuckle, putting his chin in his hand. “These three genin of yours, they must be pretty good to have gotten your approval.”

“They have potential, Guy. But right now, that’s all it is. They have a long way to go.”

“Mmm. But if you ask me, they deserve some kind of credit after what they have recently endured. First their C rank mission to the Land of Waves that should have been an A rank and now this. These are not easy things for the youth to endure. We both grew up in a time of war, Kakashi. We had to grow up faster than they do.”

“We might not be at war now,” Kakashi said bitterly, “but I would not necessarily say these are peaceful times. These genin are soldiers and they need to train as such, especially Naruto. He spends half his training time here every day. Sauske needs to focus up and Sakura needs to learn her team consists of more than just Sauske.”

“Come on, don’t except too much out of them. Right now they are a team without a leader and they have not yet learned how to rally in a situation like this. You can’t except these kids to respond the same way you did as an ANBU.”

“No,” Kakashi replied thoughtfully. “No, I suppose not.”

A moment passed before Guy broke the silence with, “He’s lonely, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“Naruto. He’s the orphan the Fourth left behind, right?”

Kakashi shot him a look. “That is forbidden to discuss!”

Guy kept talking, effectively ignoring him. “That kid has always been alone. I’ve seen it over the years, how others keep their distance. He doesn’t really have a home.”

“Yeah, I’ve been there. It’s not much.”

Guy leaned forward, pointing a finger at him. “You’re not listening to me!”

“Huh?”

Guy leaned back, resting his ankle on his knee. “Sure, the kid has a place to live, but that’s not what I meant. Sakura has her parents. As the last of the respected Uchiha clan, Sauske has most of the village behind him. But Naruto has grown up alone.” He gave a smile. “You want to know why he’s here every day? Because you’re the closest thing he’s got to family.”

Kakashi closed his eye and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I never thought about it like that.”

I know you didn’t, Kakashi, Guy thought. Your demons have kept you too close company for too long, isolating you. He reached out and placed a hand on his rival’s shoulder. “We are pillars of strength for our students. That is a tough responsibility.”

Kakashi gave an icy laugh. “Some pillar of strength I am. I’ve been hurt before, experienced chakra exhaustion, death and I have come so close we could smell each other’s breath.” He drew in a breath and stood, wrapping one hand around the IV pole for support. Guy pretended he didn’t see how much Kakashi had needed the support, how his hands trembled slightly.

“But I’ve never dealt with anything like this,” he continued bitterly. “My wounds are slow healing and my chakra is not regenerating… I’m probably only at thirty percent. If I was truly a pillar of strength, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Guy stood beside his friend. “You’re too hard on yourself and you always have been. I heard what happened. Believe me, Kakashi, if it hadn’t been you, all three of those genin would be dead right now.”

Kakashi let out a sigh, closing his eye. “Perhaps.”

He’s really exhausted. Worry laced Guy’s thoughts. I’ve never seen him like this. Whatever’s going on, it’s quite serious indeed.

But on the outside, Guy didn’t let his concerns be known, knowing that it would not help Kakashi. He placed an arm over his shoulder and gave a thumbs up. “Well, I gotta run, but I’m sure you’ll be out of here and back to your old self in no time. Then our rivalry can continue with our next match!”

Kakashi rolled his eye. “Sure, Guy,” he said halfheartedly. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Anything for my number one rival!” Guy declared as he walked away, glancing back for one more protective look as the injured shinobi made his way back inside.

Take care of yourself, Kakashi.

Chapter Text

Two days later, Kakashi sat up after pulling on his sandals, shrugging into his flak vest. He still felt drained, unbelievably tired, and his entire body was achy, but his chakra had restored to fifty percent and Dr. Akira had determined that he no longer needed to remain in the hospital to recover.

At least his hands no longer shook.

He checked himself out and walked outside, and was immediately surrounded by three smiling faces.

“Hey, Kakashi sensei!” Naruto greeted him excitedly.

“It’s so good to see you’re out of the hospital,” Sakura said with a grin, tucking a piece of her long hair behind her ear. Sasuke grunted his agreement.

He smiled down at them. They were a lot to handle sometimes, but they really were good kids. “Oh, hi, guys. This is quite the welcoming committee.”

Naruto’s grin grew even wider. “Now that you’re out of the hospital, we can get back to some serious training!”

“You knucklehead!” Sakura shouted at him, socking him square on the jaw. He fell in a heap to the ground.

“OW!” he yelled, rubbing his chin. “Geez, Sakura, what was that for?”

“Kakashi sensei just got out of the hospital! Literally! I’m sure he still needs to rest a bit before we can go back to training.”

“Ugh! I’m not stupid. I didn’t mean today!”

“Actually,” Kakashi said thoughtfully, scratching the back of his head, “I just might be able to handle a short session today.”

“YEAH!!!” Naruto shouted, leaping in the air with both fists raised to the sky. “I knew nothing could keep you down for long, sensei!”

Really, I should go home. I’m definitely still far from my peak. But they’ve missed out on training and they need at least some normalcy to return. I won’t do anything I can’t handle, he thought but aloud, he gave a soft chuckle and said, “Well, no time like the present.”

“Let’s go!” Naruto said cheerily.

They set out on the road, Kakashi following behind his students, with Naruto exuberantly in the lead. It was such a familiar sight and Kakashi felt a slight warming in his heart that seemed to melt a bit of his fatigue away. In this moment, things looked like they were really going to go back to normal.

“Kakashi Hatake.”

“Hmmm?” he said and stopping to look behind him. “Kotetsu?” Strange. I did not sense him…

“Lord Third requires your immediate presence.”

That’s odd.

His genin had stopped and were looking at him and Kotetsu.

“Wait…what’s going on?” Naruto asked.

Kakashi ignored him and inclined his head to the other ninja. “Of course.”

Kotetsu gave a nod with a sound of acknowledgment then disappeared with the teleportation jutsu. Kakashi turned and looked at his students, who had their eyes fixed on him.

“Why would the Hokage need to see you now?” Naruto wondered. “I helped you write your report days ago.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Pfft. Yeah, with such sloppy handwriting that I had to redo it.”

“Oh, why don’t you go climb a tree or something?!”

“Guys, knock it off!” Sakura barked.

“Well, looks like there won’t be any training today,” Kakashi informed them, rubbing a hand on his neck. “Guess I’d better head that way. See you guys later.”

His genin watched as he turned around and began walking towards the Hokage tower.

*******

The trio watched as their sensei made his way down the path.

“This is unusual,” Sasuke said. “I’ve never seen or heard of anyone being summoned to the Hokage directly after being discharged from the hospital.”

“I hope they’re not sending him on a mission,” Sakura said, her voice a note quieter than usual. “He still doesn’t seem like he’s feeling well.”

“Maybe we should make sure he gets there ok,” Naruto suggested. “Kakashi sensei had our backs in that battle. No one has mentioned anything about that jutsu that he was attacked with and even I can see he’s slower than usual. And we’ve seen him reach his limit before…”

He trailed off and they all went silent, all remembering that horrifying moment when Kakashi collapsed after their first encounter with Zabuza. That time he had woken up in a few hours, but his strength had returned in a matter of days. But this time was three days of unconsciousness, over a week in the hospital, and still not back to his former strength.

Something was really, really wrong.

“We had his back then and we need to have it now, believe it!” Naruto stated with a look of determination on his face.

Sasuke inclined his head. “Right.”

“Agreed,” Sakura said.

They started running down the path, Naruto yelling out, “Hey, Kakashi sensei! Wait up!”

“Hmmm?” the Jonin said as he turned around. “What is it?”

“Well,” Naruto said, “we thought that we might walk with you to the tower.”

Kakashi put his hands on his hips, an all too familiar gesture. “Oh, really? Why is that?”

“You just got out of the hospital,” Sasuke pointed out. “To be honest, you still seem a little shaky.”

“Your concern is appreciated, but I’m all right.”

“Please, sensei?” Sakura asked.

Kakashi gave them a reassuring smile. “Oh, all right.”

The group walked the rest of the way in silence and then climbed the stairs leading up to the main entrance. All three of the genin glanced at each other, realizing in that moment they all noticed that their sensei was taking the steps slower than usual, his breath a little too quick. They stayed close to him, afraid of seeing him collapse again.

To their relief, Kakashi was able to make it all the way without incident. They stopped at the entrance.

“We’ll wait for you, sensei,” Naruto told him.

He gave them another reassuring smile and a small wave. “Suit yourselves,” he said as he walked inside the compound.

“What do you suppose the Hokage wants to see Kakashi sensei about?” Sakura asked.

Sasuke put his hands in his pockets. “It’s gotta be something serious. I don’t like it.”

“You got that right,” Naruto said. “We’ll wait for Kakashi sensei then he’ll tell us what’s going on. I’m sure of it.”

*******

Kakashi rapped the door to the Hokage’s office three times with his knuckles, opening it when he heard, “Enter.” He walked in and dropped to one knee, barely able to hold back a grunt as his body protested.

“You wished to see me…Lord Hokage?” He spoke as evenly as he could, hoping the catch in his voice was not noticed.

“Yes, thank you for coming, Kakashi,” the Hokage said, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “Please, rise.”

Kakashi drew in a deep, silent breath as he pushed himself upright, hoping the slight tremor that went through his form would go unnoticed.

If the Hokage noticed anything about his struggles, he did not make mention of them. “All right, Kakashi, I’ll get straight to the point. Firstly, the Hidden Sound Village has issued a formal apology for the incident that included you and your genin. They have sent overwhelming proof that they were rouge ninja who were not acting under any orders or authorization.”

“Well, that’s a relief, at least.”

He leaned back in his chair. “Now for the rest of it. As you know, all medical records of Leaf shinobi are sent to me so that I may know their status. Yours is a case that perfectly displays why this practice is in place.”

“Really?”

The Hokage gave a nod. “The doctors at the hospital had never seen an attack like what was thrust on you.” He eyed Kakashi. “But I have.”

Kakashi’s eye widened. “What?”

“It is a forbidden technique, one of which I have only seen preformed twice. It is a jutsu that causes complete havoc on the body, poisoning the network and the ability to produce chakra. It is a jutsu that requires the ultimate sacrifice of the one who casts it, hence its rarity and forbidden nature.”

Kakashi narrowed his eye. “I see.”

The Hokage stood from his chair and walked to gaze out the window. His voice when he spoke again was a touch softer. “As I stated earlier, I’ve seen this jutsu performed twice. You are the only person I have seen who has walked away alive.”

Carried off is a bit more accurate, he thought wryly, but out loud he said quietly, “Guess I came out lucky.”

The Hokage closed his eyes. “That depends on your definition of luck.”

“Huh?”

The older man drew in a deep breath, seeming to age another five years with that one gesture. “You do remember I stated this jutsu interferes with the body’s ability to produce chakra, correct?”

Kakashi felt his heart begin to pound.

“Specifically,” the Hokage continued, “it prevents the body from making chakra. The others who got hit by this jutsu, their chakra centers stopped producing chakra, followed by such rapid depletion that nothing could stop or slow it. They were dead in minutes. Your chakra is quite remarkable in its amount and strength. The fact that you’ve regained any chakra back at all is truly a miracle. But your current status is where you will remain.”

The pounding of his heart grew louder in his ears.

The Hokage’s voice took on a hint of sadness. “I wish there was an easier way to tell you this. Your body is forever weakened. You can never again use any chakra, not even your Sharingan, if you hope to live. I’m sorry, Kakashi…”

Don’t say it…

“…but your time as a shinobi…”

Don’t say it!

“…is over.”

Chapter Text

Somewhere deep within the Sound Village, a medical ninja knelt in front of a slender man with long black hair and white skin.

“Well, Kabuto?”

“Lord Orochimaru, our ruse of the attack on Kakashi being the work of rogue ninja went without a hitch. It is a little troublesome that the brat didn’t actually die, but it is obvious that he is no longer a threat to your plan.”

Orochimaru’s chuckle rippled through the room like dark silk. “As long as he’s out of the way, it’ll make it easier to access my new vessel.”

“New vessel?” Kabuto questioned. “Forgive me, my lord, as I know that child is the only one left in your access that has that particular kekkei genkai. But have you forgotten about Kimimaro?”

“Of course not,” he drolled. “Kimimaro is a perfect specimen, but no body lasts forever. I’ll need something as equally as powerful to carry out my future!”

Kabuto smiled and pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. “I never cease to admire your attention to detail, my lord.”

*******

Kakashi’s mind was a dense fog, as he made his way down the stairs.

‘You can never again use any chakra, not even your Sharingan, if you hope to live.’

‘I’m sorry, Kakashi, but your time as a shinobi is over.’

Was that his kids he heard? Yelling, waving, trying to get his attention? He couldn’t really process it.

‘Regrettably, I am also going to have to appoint a new Jonin leader for Team 7.’

He kept walking, hands in his pockets. The voices faded, and he kept walking. They might as well start forgetting about him now.

Suddenly, he realized he was at his front door. He reached in his pocket to get his key. When he pulled it out he noticed his hand was shaking, shaking so bad he couldn’t get the key in the lock. Cursing, he wrapped his other hand around it, steadying it enough to force it in the door, allowing him to stumble inside.

‘You can never again use any chakra, not even your Sharingan, if you hope to live.’

‘I’m sorry, Kakashi, but your time as a shinobi is over.’

‘Regrettably, I am also going to have to appoint a new Jonin leader for Team 7.’

The words, swirling around in his head, made his tiny apartment spin. He clutched the counter, trying to keep himself upright. His stomach revolted against him and he sprinted for the bathroom, barely able to pull his mask down in time to spill out its contents, which mostly consisted of liquid and bile.

When his stomach calmed, he flushed the toilet, then got up to rinse his mouth out at the sink. After drying his face and putting his mask securely back in place, he caught his reflection in the mirror. His Leaf headband caught a glimmer of light. The headband was the mark of a Leaf shinobi.

Guess I don’t need this anymore.

He reached up with one hand and set the knot behind his head free. The headband slipped, dropped to his shoulder, then fell unceremoniously to the floor, the clatter of impact sounding louder than it should.

Now, his scared eye stared back at him.

‘You can never again use any chakra, not even your Sharingan, if you hope to live.’

With a cry of frustration, he ran his fist through the mirror, not caring that several of the shards cut his knuckles. He stood there for a moment, his breath coming in gulps. Turning on his heel, he walked into his bedroom, flinging his vest halfheartedly onto the chair. He removed his pouch and tossed it onto the desk, watching as one kunai slipped free. As he watched it fall, he felt like his life was falling with it.

The kunai hit the ground with a deafening clatter.

*******

Naruto grinned happily as the Ichiraku chef set a bowl of steaming hot ramen in front of him. “There you go, kid, eat up!”

He grabbed a set of chopsticks and pulled them apart. “Oh man, this is awesome! Thanks, Iruka sensei!”

Beside him, Iruka smiled. “You’re welcome, Naruto! Dig in!”

“Oh yeah!” Naruto cried joyfully then began noisily slurping the noodles. “Oh man, this is the best!”

Iruka took a few bites of his raman then he sat up, a somber expression coming on his face. “Look, Naruto, I actually brought you here because I wanted to tell you something. When I found out, I requested that I be the one to tell you.”

“Oh yeah?” the blonde said, stuffing his mouth with a piece of pork.

“It’s about Kakashi.”

“Huh?” That got his attention. He closed his mouth before he could eat the egg he had picked up, lowering his chopsticks. “What is it, Iruka sensei?”

The Academy teacher sighed. “Kakashi’s injury is very serious, Naruto. He’s got to give up being a shinobi.”

Naruto stared at him, eyes wide, then looked into his ramen, his expression changing to one of sadness. “That explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“When Kakashi sensei got summoned by the Hokage, we all went with him… Sauske, Sakura, and me. When he got out, he wouldn’t even look at us. We yelled at him, waved our arms, I even did my Sexy Jutsu trying to get his attention and he still didn’t react.” His voice got quiet. “It was like he didn’t even see us.”

Iruka looked into his own bowl of ramen. “I see.”

“It’s not right, Iruka sensei,” the boy continued quietly. “This happening to Kakashi sensei. When I first met him, I thought he was totally uncool. That he didn’t care if we passed or failed... or even cared about us, for that matter. But now, I’ve trained with him, been in battle with him, and he’s really awesome. Like, have you seen him fight? It’s incredible!”

Iruka nodded. “I’ve been on a couple missions with him, he is extremely skilled. You’ve been fortunate to have him as your first Jonin team leader.”

Naruto jerked his head around, eyes wide. “What do you mean, first Jonin team leader?”

Iruka placed his hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Naruto, Kakashi’s not going to be able to continue to lead your team. He can’t train you, can’t go out on missions. His body just can’t handle it anymore. So you’re getting a new leader for Team 7.”

“That’s not fair!” Naruto shouted, half rising out of his seat.

“Fair?” Iruka repeated, raising his voice a little. “Face it, Naruto, life isn’t fair. If it was, some of us wouldn’t have had to live through what we have!”

Naruto sat back down, his face softening. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “It’s just, we’ve gotten pretty tight as a team, you know?”

Iruka sighed, calming himself. “I know. But unfortunately, the life of a ninja is not predictable and you have to accept that. I don’t know who your new leader is, all I know is that you’ll meet him in about a week when he returns from a mission.”

Naruto looked away. “I see.”

He placed his hand on the genin’s shoulder. “Believe me, Naruto, it gave me no pleasure to give you this news.”

“I know.” The boy looked at him. “I’m glad you told me, Iruka sensei, rather than some random messenger.”

Iruka gave him a sad smile. “Better eat the rest of your ramen before it gets cold.”

Naruto gave a half smile back. “Right.”

They finished their meal mostly in silence, the weight of the news Iruka shared weighing heavily in the air. After saying goodbye to Iruka sensei, Naruto walked slowly down the street. It would be one thing to have a temporary leader change, but a permanent one? It didn’t feel right.

Laughter reached his ears. He stopped at looked in the direction of The Yakiniku Q and in the window, saw a sensei with a lit cigarette in his mouth, laughing with his genin.

It was true Kakashi sensei didn’t do that kind of thing. And yeah, he was a bit boring on the whole socializing thing. And sure, he kept his nose stuck in those dumb books all the time.

Maybe the new sensei would be more fun. Maybe they would go on more serious missions, not the silly D rank stuff that they kept getting handed.

Still, Team 7 without Kakashi, it didn’t feel right. Naruto had to do something about it.

But what?

*******

Kakashi sat in the middle of the floor for hours, slowly turning the kunai over in his hands. The moonlight caught the edge of the blade at every turn, licking the sharp lines.

His way of life had been stolen from him. The only life he’d ever known. His usefulness was over, he could no longer protect his comrades or the village. And if he couldn’t do that, what meaning or purpose was there? Death was coming, meeting it on his own terms was much more appealing than just waiting.

He rolled onto his knees, the blade aimed for his abdomen. Like father, like son, he thought wryly.

But before he could thrust the blade, a knock came on his door. He stayed still, maybe whoever it was would go away. But the knock came again, a little more insistent.

Sighing, he stood up, his legs tingling with fatigue. He switched on the light, blinking a few times to get used to the change from the darkness. Carefully, he held the kunai behind his back, opened the door, and found himself looking into a smiling face with two giant blue eyes.

A few minutes later and he would have been the one that found you. Good going, Kakashi.

“Naruto.”

“Hi, sensei!” A trace of concern touched his face and Kakashi realized he must look a sight. “Are you ok?”

No.

“Uh…yeah.” He watched as Naruto walked in, taking his sandals off at the door. He was fighting to keep his voice normal. “What brings you here?”

“Well, I know you’ve been having a lousy time of it lately and I remembered that you hardly ate anything while you were in the hospital. Not that I blame you, the food is pretty bad. So I brought you a special treat!” He set the bag he had been carrying down on the table. “Raman from Ichiraku with extra pork, my favorite!” he declared, beaming proudly. “I even got some extra vegetables in there for you, too.”

It was a precious gift, overwhelmingly so. His emotions caught in his throat, his body chose that moment to give out from sheer exhaustion. He crashed forward onto the floor, groaning on impact, the kunai tumbling out of his grasp and clanking noisily across the boards.

“Kakashi sensei!” The blonde rushed over, putting his hand on his shoulder as he pushed himself upright on trembling arms. Without looking at him, he knew that the boy’s eyes were on the now abandoned kunai. “Hey, sensei…” Naruto’s voice was quiet, the quietest he had ever heard. “What were you doing with that kunai?” His voice sounded small, innocent, like a child who had just discovered that there is evil in the world. “Were you…going to hurt me?”

“What?” Kakashi gaped at him, shocked. His entire body was shaking. “No!”

Naruto’s eyes were still locked on the kunai. He walked the four steps over, bent down, and picked it up. He stared at it for a moment, then gripped the hilt angrily in his hand. “Liar,” he hissed.

“Naruto, I would never - ”

“Liar!” the boy screamed, whipping around, aiming the kunai straight at his teacher. Kakashi fell back on his right arm, the venomous nature of his student’s voice and stance throwing him completely off guard. Tears loomed in Naruto’s eyes as he cried out, “Do you really think if you had gone through with this, it wouldn’t have hurt me? Or Sakura? Or Sasuke? I know I’m not the smartest person in the world, but if you ask me, that line of thinking is pretty dumb! Did you think that just because this happened, we wouldn’t need you anymore??”

So, he knows…

Naruto dropped his head, body shaking, breath hissing through clenched teeth. “ ‘In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum. But those who would abandon their friends are worse than scum!’ Were those just empty words, sensei? Huh? Were they?!”

He tossed the kunai away, it clattered loudly against the wall then fell to the floor below. But to Kakashi it felt like the knife was twisting in his gut.

Naruto…

The boy stood there, his clenched fists trembling. His tears escaped his eyes, splashing down on the floor. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter but did not lose any of its intensity.

“All my life, I’ve been alone. No one cared about me or what I was doing. Now I have Iruka sensei, Sauske, Sakura…and you. That’s precious few people after a lifetime of loneliness. And I… I can’t lose any of you. I won’t!” He dragged a sleeve across his wet face. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll train harder, get stronger. I’ll protect all of you.” His head shot up, eyes locking with his. “I’ll protect you, Kakashi sensei, even if it’s from yourself!”

‘Your words cut deep. Deeper than any blade.’

Zabuza’s voice rang in Kakashi’s ears. This boy had softened that hardened assassin’s heart with just his words. Kakashi wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t been there to witness it. Naruto wore his heart on his sleeve, something usually discouraged among the shinobi. But Kakashi was fast learning it was a true part of the boy’s strength.

Somehow, his body moved and he was in front of Naruto, pulling the sobbing genin into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around him. “You don’t have to protect me,” he said quietly. “It’s my job to protect you. I lost sight of that. Forgive me.”

Naruto drew in a shuddering breath, his fist balling up in Kakashi’s shirt. “We need you, sensei.”

“Shhh,” Kakashi soothed him. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. That’s a promise.”

It was a promise that made Kakashi’s heart hurt. It was true that he could not use his chakra anymore, but the Hokage had spoken about chakra depleting from the others attacked by the same jutsu. It would make sense that would eventually happen to him, this attack would eventually kill him. He would not be able to protect Naruto from his death. Dying on his own terms had seemed appealing, but that had dissipated at Naruto’s words.

The boy’s sobs slowly faded. When his shoulders stopped shaking, Kakashi released him. He tried to stand, but his body betrayed him and he grunted, ending up on his hands and knees again.

“Sensei?” came Naruto’s concerned voice.

Kakashi gave a small chuckle. “I, uh, I seem to have overdone it today.” He held out a hand. “Mind helping me up?”

“Uh, sure.” Naruto grabbed his hand, giving him the boost he needed to get to his feet.

He was shaky, but he was standing. He walked slowly over to his bed, Naruto still supporting his arm. He was sure he could have gotten there without his assistance, but he didn’t want to dismiss the boy. He lowered himself onto his bed and Naruto released him, then walked away. He had gotten his legs under his blanket when Naruto reappeared, bag of food in hand.

“Here, sensei, you should eat this. It’ll help you recover your strength.”

Kakashi smiled at him, taking the bag. “Thank you, Naruto.” He opened the bowl and was rewarded with steam. Good, it hadn’t gone cold. “It smells delicious.”

Naruto smiled, then said, “When I went to get the bag, I noticed your mirror in your bathroom is broken.”

Kakashi sheepishly looked at his bloodied knuckles. “Oh that. Yeah, I -”

“While you eat, I’m gonna go clean it up,” Naruto interrupted him as he walked out of the room. “You don’t want to accidentally step on any of those shards in the morning.”

Kakashi felt a tug at his heartstrings. Normally, whenever there was even the slightest chance that his mask would be coming off, Naruto was there, dying to get a peak. But now, that same kid was busy occupying himself with a task that gave Kakashi the privacy he preferred when he had to take his mask off. He chuckled softly to himself, hooked his finger into his mask at the side of his nose, and brought it down.

The ramen tasted good, Naruto was cleaning at a slow pace (on purpose?) so he didn’t have to down his food quickly. It was a little heavy for his empty stomach, but luckily, it didn’t protest as he drained the last of the soup. He wiped his mouth, replaced his mask, and deposited the empty container into the bag. A few minutes later he heard, “Are you finished, Kakashi sensei?”

“Yeah,” he said and his student walked in. “It was very kind of you.”

Naruto grinned, then his attention drifted to Kakashi’s left with a grin. He sprinted forward and picked up a picture frame. “No way! Is that the Fourth Hokage?”

“Oh, yeah. He was my sensei.”

Naruto looked up at him, eyes wide. “What?!? How come you didn’t tell us?!? This is so cool!”

“I’m not in the habit of sharing things about myself.”

“Huh. I’ll say. You didn’t really tell us anything about yourself that day we met and haven’t since. Heck, we don’t even know your favorite color.” He looked at the picture again and chuckled. “Who’s the geezer in the goggles?”

Kakashi took the picture frame from him and set it back on the shelf. “Just someone I knew, a long time ago.” He could hear how tired his voice sounded.

Naruto must have picked up on the change, because he turned and took the bag off Kakashi’s bed saying, “I should go and let you get some sleep.” He started to walk out of the room.

“Naruto?”

“Yeah?” he said, turning back to face him.

Kakashi held his eyes. “Thank you.”

The boy grinned. “Anytime.”

As Kakashi settled down in his bed, he heard Naruto turn out the light and close the door. A few minutes later, he heard a cat screech on his roof and a very familiar voice mumble something about a dumb cat.

Naruto.

What is he doing?

If he had been sure he could have gotten out of bed without collapsing, he would have. Since that was not the case, he listened as Naruto made a couple shadow clones, explaining to them that they were staying there for the night.

Well, Kakashi, you did scare the crap out of the kid, now he’s placed you on his own personal suicide watch.

Kakashi knew he was not a danger to himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed at his student. He listened to Naruto play a few games with his clones, pretending to sleep when he would look through the window to check on him.

He definitely needs to work on being covert.

But though his student was a little noisy on the roof, he couldn’t help but smile. It was a kind gesture. With how much he had been rejected in his life, Naruto’s drive to be there for his friends was truly remarkable.

Eventually, Kakashi’s exhausted body pulled him into sleep. That night, there were no nightmares.

Chapter Text

The following morning, Kakashi found himself standing at the entrance to the training grounds. He was clad in his full Jonin uniform, including his headband. He had found his headband where Naruto had placed it, folded carefully on the table. The dull ache that coursed through his body and the fatigue dragging at his bones were probably permanent fixtures in his life now, a chilling reminder of the course his life was taking.

He had been retired from his shinobi duties. His kids needed to move on from him.

So, why am I here?

“Ah ha! As always, nothing keeps you down long, my rival!”

Kakashi turned to see Guy walking up to him, followed by his genin team. As usual, he had a big smile on his face.

So, he doesn’t know. Kakashi gave silent thanks to the heavens, he didn’t want to deal with the exuberant emotions that would undoubtedly be unleashed his way once the passionate man knew his true condition. “Oh…hi, Guy.”

Guy looked at his team. “Alright guys, go ahead and start warming up. I’ll meet you in a few minutes.”

“Right,” they all replied in unison and walked inside.

“Making your team wait on you again? I must say, Kakashi, you never change.”

“They’re here?” he asked, trying to keep his shock hidden. If Naruto knew about his state, it stood to reason that Sakura and Sasuke had been informed as well. They had no team leader, yet they had still reported to the training grounds?

Did they have more discipline than he had originally thought?

Guy laughed, putting his hands on his hips. “I got here early to do my pre-warm up of two thousand push ups and saw them myself. This is a normal training day, why wouldn’t they be here?”

Kakashi looked away. “Right.”

Guy took a couple steps closer to him. The pitch of his voice changed, switching to one of mild concern. “Hey, are you all right?”

Kakashi gave him a small smile, trying to feign normalcy. “Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

There was a moment of silence and then Guy spoke. “You know, you really are doing a good job with them.”

“Huh?”

“Your genin. Sure, they’re a little rough around the edges, their power of youth is overflowing,” he said with a laugh. “But when it mattered, their teamwork to get you home was flawless. You should be proud of them.”

I am proud. But instead of saying that, he just shrugged. “They would have learned that with any team leader.”

Guy frowned, a rare sight. “Are you doubting your ability as a teacher?”

Kakashi gave a soft chuckle. “Well…yeah. I guess I am.”

Guy suddenly laughed. “Oh, is that all?”

Kakashi’s eye widened. “Huh?”

“My rival, there is not a teacher alive who never doubted their ability to instill value in their students. We, the teaching shinobi of the Hidden Leaf, have a great responsibility.”

“Yeah,” Kakashi said heavily. “Train them hard so that they might survive in this harsh world.”

Guy scratched his head. “Yes, well, I suppose that’s part of it. But that aspect is simple.”

“ ‘Simple’?” Kakashi repeated, somewhat vehemently. “This last battle proves I’m failing at that.”

“I don’t think you are. They are still young. But, this past experience showed you are succeeding in teaching them what truly matters.”

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?”

Guy beamed proudly, those teeth still shining abnormally bright. “Why, the Will of Fire, of course! It is we who pass it on to the next generation. The ideals and values of a shinobi, of what it means to stand by your comrades, to protect those precious to you…those things that withstand the test of time. These are the ideals that will hold long after you and I are gone. And if you ask me, your kids have got this in spades, just like my own!”

‘We need you, sensei.’

Kakashi looked up at the sky. He’s right. Maybe that’s why I’m here. To stand by them. They may only be kids, but truly, they are my comrades. They are precious to me. I need to be there for them, as long as I can.

He felt Guy put his arm on his shoulder and saw his hand give a thumbs up. “Never underestimate your influence among the youth, Kakashi. For from this young flock among us, one day a new Hokage will rise. And you don’t know if you just might be the sensei who trained the next Hokage.”

‘To be the greatest Hokage! That is my dream!’

Naruto’s words swam in Kakashi’s head.

“Whelp, I’m off!” Guy stated, punching his fist in the air and then walking into the grounds. “See you around, rival!”

“Yeah, see ya,” Kakashi replied, his heart feeling lighter. He walked slowly to the area he knew his students would be in.

He heard them before he saw them.

Naruto and Sasuke were arguing about what training to do. Sakura was yelling at them to knock it off.

Any other time, Kakashi would have been filled with annoyance at their seemingly constant bickering. But, the reality was, they would be moving on to another leader in a week’s time.

He found that he really was going to miss them, bickering and all.

“Hey, guys,” he said with a small smile and a wave. “Sorry I’m late.”

The three kids all cried out in surprise and faced him, the argument immediately silenced. The look of shock on their faces made Kakashi chuckle inwardly. “What’s wrong?”

Naruto was the first to recover. “Hey! Hey, sensei!”

“We…we weren’t expecting you,” Sakura stammered.

“What are you doing here?” Sasuke asked.

Kakashi sighed. “Always so blunt, eh, Sasuke?”

“We were told you were retired from shinobi duties,” the Uchiha replied. “It’s a valid question.”

“Hmmm,” he said, putting his chin in his hand. “That’s true. Yes, I have been retired from shinobi duties, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still supervise your training sessions.”

Naruto’s grin grew so wide Kakashi wondered how it didn’t touch his ears. “Really? You mean it, Kakashi sensei?”

He gave a smile. “Well, until you get your new team leader, at least.” He pulled his book out of his pack, opening it to his placement. “I certainly can’t leave you guys to yourselves, you’ll clearly argue the day away.”

Naruto crossed his arms in a huff, Sakura sighed, and Sasuke looked away.

In that moment, Kakashi’s world felt normal.

“All right, let’s get started. We’ll begin with reviewing the tree climbing exercise.”

“Awww, c’mon Kakashi sensei, why do I need to do that?” Naruto complained in true Naruto fashion. “I mastered that a while ago.”

“Ugh, Naruto, you’re such an idiot,” Sakura huffed, crossing her arms. “A good ninja understands that practicing and mastering the basics is essential to building the foundation upon which all jutsu are built.”

“Well said, Sakura,” Kakashi said, “and correct, as usual.”

The kunoichi smiled.

Kakashi closed his book. “All right, everyone! Go climb a tree.”

The kids obeyed, all standing on a different branch.

“All right, sensei, now what? This is too easy!”

“Oh, really?” Kakashi asked slyly. “You want something harder, do you?”

Naruto threw his fists in the air. “Yeah! Let’s get serious!”

“All right. Everyone, you’re going to jump on your branch, using your chakra to anchor your landing.”

“This’ll be a cinch!” Naruto shouted.

“Go!” Kakashi commanded his team.

The first attempt went exactly as Kakashi predicted. Sakura, with the best chakra control of the group, accomplished the task easily. Sasuke slipped, but was able to solidify his hold. And Naruto came down with way too much force, splitting his branch in two and falling to the ground below.

“OW!!!”

Sakura laughed and Sasuke smirked.

“So,” Kakashi said, walking up to his fallen student, “it’s easy, huh?”

Naruto let out a sound of exasperation. “I dunno why we’re doing this anyway,” he grumbled, rubbing his head.

“Well, this is an important component in learning tree jumping.”

“Uh…tree jumping?”

Kakashi sighed. Naruto was a bit of an exhausting student and he was already getting a headache. “Yes, Naruto, tree jumping. This is used for covering a vast amount of terrain in a short amount of time. Useful for missions where you have to get somewhere fast. Do it right and you’ll be able to keep your footing while moving at tremendous speed, even in battle. Do it wrong, and the fall could kill you. Now, go find another branch.”

As he climbed the tree again, Kakashi looked up so that he could see all three of his students.

“You guys did an excellent job after I was attacked. But, if you had known this skill, you would have been able to get me home without any help.”

Sakura raised her hand. “But, sensei, I do know this skill, you had me start practicing it weeks ago.”

“That’s right, I did. With your chakra control, it was easy for you to grasp. But you obviously could not move me in that way on your own.”

Her face fell. “That’s true.”

He smiled. “But that’s exactly why Sasuke told you to go ahead to get help. A team should know each member’s strengths and weaknesses. This is something Sasuke excels at.”

Sakura grinned at Sasuke, who looked completely disinterested.

Naruto waved his arms in the air. “What about me, sensei? What am I good at?”

Kakashi looked at him. “Why, being a hyperactive knucklehead, of course.”

“Gah!” Naruto yelled then his face fell. “Geez, sensei, you’re cruel,” he mumbled.

Kakashi laughed. Yes, he truly was going to miss this.

Chapter Text

For the next three days, Kakashi kept it together in front of his genin, not wanting them to see his weakness. He didn’t want his kids to worry about him. He had battled his shakiness, kept his voice as steady as normal, hidden the slight tremor in his hands. But it took all his energy each day. By the time he made it home he could barely put one foot in front of the other, his breathing heavy and ringing in his ears. It was all he could do to pull his uniform off and collapse into bed each night.

It was a stark reminder that Kakashi’s body was failing him.

Today it had taken him longer to get up, longer to get to the training grounds. Luckily, him being late was so routine to the kids it was actually expected.

He watched them as they swept through the trees, aiming their shuriken and kunai at their targets.

“Watch your chakra control on your landings,” he warned as Naruto nearly took out a branch.

“Got it!”

As he looked to check on Sasuke, he nearly gasped as a wave of lightheadedness and nausea swept over him. He brought his hand to the back of his neck in an attempt to sharpen his focus. The kid hit all his targets with ease.

Kakashi shifted his attention to Sakura as she entered a triple somersault. Her form blurred in his vision. He shook his head, trying to clear it…bad mistake. His world tilted and he found himself on his hands and knees with a groan, breathing heavily.

“Kakashi sensei!” Naruto cried out.

He heard his kids come down out of the trees…he needed to get up. He brought his leg up underneath him in an attempt to stand, but his body did not comply.

“Sit down, Kakashi,” he heard Sasuke say.

“I’ll…be all right,” he grunted out, trying a second time to push himself to his feet.

He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and Sasuke repeated, in a slower, more authoritative tone, “Sit down.”

Kakashi had no choice but to give in. He hung his head, his chest still taking in heaving gulps of air. Sakura dropped to her knees beside him while Sasuke removed his hand and placed it in his pocket. Naruto walked up and knelt beside their sensei opposite Sakura, giving him some support by wrapping his arm around his back.

“What’s wrong, sensei?” the blonde asked, concern in his voice. “You’re shaking.”

“Just a little lightheaded,” Kakashi said, trying to find a smile. “I’ll…be all right in a minute.”

“Pfft,” Sasuke said with his eyes locked on their teacher. “Not from where I’m standing. You look completely wiped out.”

“Here, let me help you,” Sakura’s voice came in a soothing tone. Her gentle hands removed his sweat soaked headband. She then wet a cloth from her pouch, wiped his brow, then pressed the cold cloth to the base of his skull. “There, is that better?”

“Yeah,” he said, finally able to open his eye and slow his breathing some. “Thanks.”

“These days of teaching us have been exhausting for you, haven’t they?” she asked quietly.

“Why would you push yourself like that?” Sasuke wanted to know. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

Kakashi drew a breath and told them what Naruto already knew. His voice trembled slightly with fatigue that he could no longer hide. “Because for now, at least, you still need me.”

Sakura adjusted the cloth on his neck. A slight tinge of anger came through her voice, her emotions at the situation overwhelming her. “Well, it won’t do us any good if you keep going on like this. Seriously, are you trying to kill yourself?”

Kakashi did not miss the sharp intake of breath Naruto took at those words, the tightening of his hands around his arms.

“No. I simply…miscalculated my abilities. That’s all.”

“Don’t try to over-simplify this, Kakashi,” Sasuke chastised him. “That jutsu affected you enough to force your retirement.” Realization dawned and he narrowed his eyes. “You shouldn’t have even been here.”

Kakashi’s silence was confirmation enough.

“You probably should go to the hospital,” Sakura suggested.

Kakashi felt an almost irrational fear in the pit of his stomach. He definitely didn’t want to go back there. He had to get back to his feet, show them he was ok enough to just go home.

He made it halfway up when his body pushed down on him with iron force. He groaned in pain, his trembling limbs giving out from underneath him, barely registering his body’s impact on the ground. He heard his kids calling out his name before slipping into unconsciousness.

*******

The trio of teens watched intently as Dr. Akira examined their unconscious sensei. He seemed so thin and vulnerable lying in the hospital bed.

“How is he?” Sakura asked.

Akira straightened, removing her stethoscope from her ears and placing it around her neck. “He’s completely exhausted. He’s thoroughly over exerted himself. And that’s concerning, considering his weakened condition. I also suspect he hasn’t been eating properly.”

“He’ll get better, right?” Naruto asked in a quiet voice.

Akira sighed. “He should recover from the exertion, but he’ll never go back to his former strength. He needs to be more careful.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Sasuke asked.

“Letting him rest is the best thing,” Akira supplied. “I’m going to admit him for a few days.”

At that moment, a strained sound came from Kakashi’s throat.

“Sensei?” Sakura questioned.

Kakashi’s breathing quickened and he began to writhe in the sheets, his head twisting. His right eye opened, moving frantically but not seeing.

“He’s in a state of delirium,” Akira informed them. “Not unexpected with how exhausted his body is. Let me grab a mild sedative.”

“No!” The word sounded like it had clawed its way out of the Jonin’s throat. Ninja were trained to resist anything that altered their state of mind, so it was no surprise he had that automatic response. His hands came up, weakly grasping at the air. Naruto and Sakura stepped up, each taking a hand in their own. Sasuke gripped his leg, just above the ankle. This seemed to anchor Kakashi back to some semblance of the world, as his breathing started to slow and his movements stilled.

“Well,” Akira said approvingly, placing the unused sedative back in the drawer, “you kids certainly have good bedside manners.”

Kakashi’s eye opened again tiredly, the exhaustion plainly evident. It lazily took in the sight of his three students before it closed once more, sleep claiming him.

“Does he have to stay in the hospital?” Naruto asked, looking at the doctor. “I mean, if all he needs is rest, he’d probably sleep better at home.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” she stated, “as long as he had someone with him at all times till he was up and about.”

The kids lifted their eyes from their sensei to look at one another. They all gave a nod.

Sometimes teamwork didn’t require words.

*******

Kakashi felt the pounding of his head before he opened his eye. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision in the dim light. A familiar voice reached his ears.

“Hey! You’re awake!”

“…Naruto?” He shifted his head on the pillow and looked into the faces of all three of his genin. “Oh…hi, guys.” He sat up slowly, only partially succeeding in biting back a groan against his aching muscles.

“Hey, take it easy there, sensei,” Sakura said, taking a step forward. “You need to rest.”

“Don’t worry, I can’t move much anyway,” he said tiredly. He noticed that his legs were covered by his shuriken patterned blanket. He was home. “I must admit, I’m a little surprised you guys didn’t take me to the hospital.”

“We did,” Sasuke informed him, “but you were pretty out of it. It’s no surprise you don’t remember.”

“Dr. Akira said that you really wore yourself out,” Sakura said. “She told us you could come home to recover as long as you had someone with you.”

Kakashi looked at them, realization sinking in. “So you…?”

“That’s right!” Naruto said with a big grin, crossing his hands behind his head proudly. “We’re here to help you, sensei!”

Kakashi looked away, a mix of emotions swirling in his chest. He hated admitting weakness, had wanted to protect his students from worrying about him. But his illness had stolen that from him. He was supposed to be the strong one. He wanted to push them away, the way he pushed everyone away. They needed to move on.

“Uh…sensei?”

He turned to see Naruto looking at him questioningly, the smile gone from his face. Sakura had a worried look in her eye.

“Did we…do something wrong?” she asked in a quiet voice.

His heart squeezed in his chest. He couldn’t push them away.

I’m really bad at this. “No,” he assured them. “I appreciate it. Really.”

The smiles on Naruto and Sakura’s faces were immediately restored.

“Kakashi,” Sasuke said, uncrossing his arms and stepping forward, “it’s time you were honest with us.”

He sighed, realizing that the Uchiha was right. “Guess I can’t hide this forever. Why don’t you guys sit down?”

Sasuke and Sakura lowered themselves to the floor while Naruto settled himself on the edge of the bed. They were all looking at him, all trying to hide the trepidation in their eyes. In this moment, they were not ninjas.

They were just kids.

He took a deep breath. “Well, the long and short of it is my chakra never fully came back. I’m sitting at about half my strength. I…I actually can’t use chakra anymore, the risk of it not restoring is too high.”

As ninja in training, the young trio knew exactly what no chakra meant. They also knew that at only half strength, Kakashi would always be suffering from some form of chakra exhaustion.

Sasuke was the first to speak, his voice a little softer and slower than normal. “So that means you can no longer use your Sharingan.”

And I was the only person who could advise him on his. “That’s correct.”

Naruto looked at him. “What about Pakkun? And the other hounds?”

Damn!

“Unfortunately, I cannot summon them.”

The blonde’s eyes grew wide. “So that means…” He trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Kakashi nodded and when he spoke, his voice sounded like it was being dragged over gravel. “Which means I’ll never see my ninken again.”

The silence after he spoke was deafening. Sakura had quiet tears dripping down her cheeks. Sasuke had brought his interlaced fingers in front of his mouth, staring off at nothing. Naruto was biting his lower lip, his hands making fists into the blanket, obviously fighting back tears.

Kakashi had never felt more exposed.

“Sensei…” Sakura ventured softly.

Kakashi interrupted her, turning his face to the wall. “I need to rest some more.”

It was unusual for the kids to be so quiet. They shuffled out of the room softly. Kakashi laid back down, his heart pounding. He curled in on himself, fighting to keep his breathing normal, trying to keep the panic attack he felt brewing at bay. It was the last thing he wanted his genin to see.

Mercifully, sleep claimed him before it came.

*******

When Kakashi awoke again, it was the next morning. He heard Naruto humming and some tinkering in the kitchen.

Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. His legs were shaky, but they supported him. He made his way to his open bedroom door, taking a brief moment to place his hand on the doorframe to steady himself. Sasuke was cooking something in the kitchen and Naruto was in the living room. He had a shadow clone standing on his shoulders, wiping a rag along the top of his bookshelf.

The clone caught sight of him and beamed. “Hey! You’re finally awake!”

Naruto looked up at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” he answered honestly. With the kids here, there was no point in trying to hide it.

“You need to eat,” Sasuke said. “Come sit down, it’s almost ready.”

Kakashi made his way to the small table and sat down. Sasuke walked over, placing a bowl of okayu in front of him. “Thank you, Sasuke.”

The Uchiha shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. Sakura’s out getting some more food, your cabinets were basically empty.”

“I had planned on stocking up once we got back from our hike.” He gave a wry chuckle. “Best laid plans, huh?”

As usual, the boy was not easily amused. He walked to the door. “Naruto, I’m going to go train for a few hours. You can go when I get back.”

“Right!” Naruto and his clone said in unison.

Once again, Kakashi noticed as he pulled his mask down, Naruto studiously kept his back to him, keeping on his task of cleaning the bookshelf. It amazed him, the amount of respect and restraint from his curiosity the boy was showing.

The okayu was surprisingly comforting, his stomach accepting it with ease. Once finished, he put his mask back in place and stood, intending to take his dishes to the sink and wash them. But the moment he got to his feet, the dull ache in his joints sharpened drastically, causing him to gasp and grab the side of the table to keep from falling. He cursed under his breath, the exhaustion was making the pain so much worse.

He felt an arm wrap around his waist, the warmth of extra chakra being channeled into it bleeding through his shirt. He opened his eye, seeing Naruto.

“Here, sensei, I’ll help you.”

He tried not to rely on the boy too much as he stumbled back to his bedroom, but knew with great clarity that had Naruto not been there, he would never have made it. He sat down heavily on his bed, body shaking. It took him a moment to regulate his breathing. Naruto stood there, watching him.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi whispered.

“Hey,” the blonde said, his tone showing he knew exactly what Kakashi meant, “don’t worry about it. We’re glad we can be here to help you.”

“It’s not something you should have to do.”

Naruto gave him a smile. “You remember our first day together as a team, when you gave us that test? And we told you the three of us were one?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“Well, we realized we were wrong.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Naruto smiled, placing his hand on his shoulder. “It’s the four of us, sensei. The four of us are one.”

Chapter Text

For the next two days, Kakashi mostly stayed in bed, only really getting up if he had to go to the bathroom. His kids would wake him up gently at regular intervals to eat, bringing him light meals that were not heavy on his stomach. The combination of sleep and eating on a schedule did wonders. On this morning, he woke up on his own, actually feeling somewhat rested. He looked out the window, noticing that the sky had only just begun to lighten. He swung his legs over the side of his bed and was pleased to note his pain had decreased to just a dull ache. He tucked his feet into his slippers and stood.

His legs did not tremble.

Padding out of the room, he noticed that all three of his genin were still asleep in his living room. Sakura had the couch while Naruto and Sasuke had bedrolls on the floor. While it had not escaped him that they had been staying here, to actually see it was another thing entirely. He couldn’t help but smile and chuckle softly to himself.

Quietly, so as not to disturb them, he made his way to the bathroom, noticing that his broken mirror had been replaced. He made a mental note to figure out which of his kids had done that so he could pay them back.

He tossed his clothes into the hamper and stepped into a hot shower, not even remembering the last time he had been able to do this. The tracks of water on his skin further soothed his muscles. He stood there for a while, enjoying the sensation.

He had nearly run his hot water out by the time he turned off the shower. He toweled himself dry, put his mask securely in place, then wrapped himself in a long robe, wanting to lock in as much of the warmth as possible.

Coming out of the bathroom, he noticed that the kids were still asleep, Naruto snoring noisily. At first, it had felt like a bit of an intrusion to have them here all the time. But now, he was forced to admit, there was a certain comfort in having them around.

He made his way to the kitchen, figuring he should be the one to make a meal for a change. So he set out making a simple breakfast of tamagoyaki and rice.

“Well, well, look who’s up,” came Sasuke’s voice. Kakashi turned to see him sitting up with a small smile. Sakura was propped up on her arm, rubbing sleep out of her eye. Naruto had tossed onto his side, still snoring.

“Good morning, everyone.”

Sakura beamed at him. “Hey! You look like you’re doing better.”

“Thanks to you guys, I’m starting to feel better,” he told her with a smile. “Are you guys hungry?”

Naruto groaned and rolled over to his other side. “Five more minutes,” he mumbled sleepily.

“You idiot, get up!” Sakura growled at him, punching him in the face. “Sensei’s made us breakfast!”

“Gah!” Naruto yelled when her fist made impact. But then he jumped to his feet, grinning. “Did you say there was food?”

Sakura and Sasuke both sighed in exasperation.

“All right, everyone settle down,” Kakashi gently scolded them.

The kids quickly folded their bedrolls and blankets and when they came over, Kakashi had everything on the table.

“You’ve never done anything like this before for us, sensei,” Sakura commented as she sat down.

“Well, I thought it might be an appropriate way to thank you three for how much you’ve been helping me out.”

“It definitely gets my approval!” Naruto exclaimed happily. He looked at the place settings, smile fading. “Wait, there’s only three. What about your breakfast, sensei?”

“Oh, I already ate mine,” he replied truthfully.

Naruto crossed his arms. “Awww, you never eat with us,” he grumbled.

“Stop being rude!” Sakura growled at him through her teeth. She looked at Kakashi and bowed her head. “Thank you very much!”

Kakashi smiled at her. But before he could say anything, a familiar pain seized his back. His body was still weak, the eternal chakra exhaustion pulling at him. He thought he hid the attack well enough that his students would not know.

“Kakashi, go rest. We’ll clean up.”

Of course Sasuke noticed.

“I…think I’ll read for a while,” he said, managing to keep his voice at its normal tenor. He walked slowly to his living room, knowing full well that three pairs of worried eyes were watching his back.

*******

Kakashi slowly opened his eye, for a moment not sure where he was. He realized that he was still in his chair in his living room. His book lay forgotten on the floor and a blanket covered his legs. It was no secret that lowered body temperature was a common symptom of chakra exhaustion… the kids must have thought he looked cold. He looked up to see Sakura sitting on the couch and peeking at him from over the book in her hands.

He grinned sheepishly at her. “Sorry.”

She lowered her book, smiling at him. “There’s no reason to be embarrassed, sensei. Your body’s still healing.”

He looked around the apartment. “Where are Naruto and Sasuke?”

“Out training. They should be back in an hour.”

Kakashi nodded, then gestured to the book she was holding. “What are you reading?”

“Basics of Medical Ninjutsu. I found it on your bookshelf…I hope you don’t mind.”

He smiled. “Not at all. What made you pick that one?”

She closed it, looking at the title. “I don’t know. It just seemed interesting.”

“And is it?”

“Yeah. I understand the concepts but I’m not so sure I could actually do it.”

Kakashi put his chin in his hand. She does have an impressive amount of chakra control. He reached under his chair and produced a hidden kunai (one of many around his apartment), then unceremoniously cut a line along his left palm, blood running free down his arm.

“Sensei!” Sakura exclaimed, completely shocked.

“The only way to see if you can do it is to try,” Kakashi told her coolly, setting the kunai in his lap. He leaned forward, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair. “Come here.”

She set the book on the couch and walked over a bit timidly, kneeling beside him. She put her hands out but hesitated. Kakashi reached out and gently guided her left hand underneath his injured one and then placed her right hand on top of the cut.

“All right, channel some chakra into your hands.”

Warmth surrounded his hand as she obeyed.

“Good. Now, think about your chakra as if it were a needle and thread, channeling it through the cut from one side to the other. Keep the flow and amount as regular as you can.”

Sakura gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes as she focused all her energy on the task. Kakashi kept his hand as still as possible as she worked, holding his wrist to minimize twitching. Medical ninjutsu was never pain free, but for an experienced medical-nin, healing this cut would feel like a minor pinch and be gone in seconds. As Sakura was trying it for the first time, Kakashi could feel the prickling of her chakra in his skin like a bee sting. Her pace was slow, but she did not accidentally make the cut bigger, which was a common mistake.

It took several minutes, but finally Sakura let her chakra flow ebb, her breathing hard and sweat on her brow. “I think…I think I did it.”

Her hands fell away and they both looked at Kakashi’s palm. The cut was still there, but it was closed. Kakashi flexed his hand and smiled at her. “Good job.”

Sakura beamed at him. She then got to her feet, “Oh, I completely forgot about your lunch! Let me get it for you, I made it myself!”

Kakashi felt his stomach drop as he tried to keep his smile up. “Oh, really? That’s…very kind of you, Sakura.” It was no secret among the team (except Sakura, of course) that she most definitely was not a good cook.

“Yup! It’s full of nutrition, I made sure Sauske and Naruto ate theirs before they left.”

She brought him a plate that had food on it that he couldn’t identify. The smell was revolting to his sensitive nose.

“Oh! I forgot the soy sauce.”

That won’t fix this, he thought with dismay. Quickly, he downed the dish while her back was turned, the food (if you could call it that) hitting his stomach like a brick.

Sakura turned and saw his empty plate. “Sensei, you’ll get sick if you keep downing your food that fast.”

If I get sick, that won’t be the reason, he thought. But aloud he said, “Don’t worry about me, Sakura. I’ll be fine.”

He was rewarded with her smile.

*******

An hour later, Sasuke walked in. Kakashi looked up from his book. “Hey, there.”

“Sasuke, you’re back!” Sakura exclaimed happily. “How was your training?”

“Fine,” he replied shortly, getting a glass of water.

She skipped over, clasping her hands behind her back. “Of course! I’m sure it went well! Sasuke, you’re just so cool!”

“Where is Naruto?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke shrugged. “He went off with that Konohamaru kid.”

“That’s just like Naruto, losing focus from what really matters,” Sakura complained.

Sasuke downed his glass. “Don’t you need to go to your parents now?” he asked without looking at her.

“Oh! Yes, I actually do, they wanted me for dinner tonight. I better get going.” She sprinted for the door, but stopped before she left. “I’ll see you later, Sasuke!” She then turned to Kakashi with a wave. “I’ll be back tonight, sensei!”

“See ya,” he said, holding one hand up. He looked at Sasuke. “So, training went well, huh?”

Sasuke eyed him. “How did you know…”

“That you had trouble with something today? I’m pretty good at reading people. Want to tell me what’s up?”

Sasuke sighed, looking away. “It’s my Sharingan.”

Kakashi lowered his book, placing it on the table. “Ah. My guess would be learning to activate it on demand.”

Sasuke sucked air through his teeth. “Yeah.”

He nodded. “Come, sit down on the floor over here.”

The Uchiha obeyed, placing his knees on the ground and sitting on his calves. Kakashi lowered himself to the ground, managing to not wince as pain twinged his back, and sat in the same manner across from him.

“All right. Let’s start at the beginning. When did your Sharingan first activate?”

“When Naruto and I were fighting Haku.”

Kakashi nodded. “That’s correct. Do you remember what was happening at that exact moment?”

“Yeah. Haku was attacking me, I was starting to be able to see his movements, but it wasn’t clear. Then Naruto fell and he shifted his attack to him. I was able to get Naruto out of the way…I’m not quite sure how it happened.”

“The activation of the Sharingan requires a deep and powerful emotion,” Kakashi explained. “In your case, for your first activation, the desire to protect a teammate.”

Sasuke pondered a moment. “So, the activation is connected to emotion?”

“Yes. In your case, a positive one. But the Sharingan can also be awakened using a negative emotion, such as hate.”

Sasuke looked at him. “Do you know what emotion awakened your Sharingan?”

Kakashi closed his eye. Obito…

“Just like yours, it was protection,” he answered, looking at his student. “Close your eyes.”

Sasuke obeyed.

“Now, since your Sharingan is a kekkei genkai that means you have a special chakra that feeds it. Locate that chakra, breath with it.”

A few moments passed as Sasuke followed his direction.

“Now, connect it to a powerful emotion. You don’t have to tell me which one you select, but it should be something that resonates deep within.”

A minute later, Sasuke opened his eyes to reveal a successfully activated Sharingan.

Kakashi smiled at him. “Well done.”

As usual, Sasuke did not celebrate his accomplishment like Naruto and Sakura.

“To deactivate, simply cut the chakra flow. The more you practice, the faster and more proficient you will get in activating your Sharingan. It will eventually become second nature.”

As Sasuke’s eyes changed from red to black he asked, “As someone who inherited the Sharingan, you cannot deactivate yours. Isn’t that right?”

“You’re correct, which is why I keep my eye closed. The moment I open it, it automatically starts draining my chakra. And since it is not of my bloodline, I don’t have the same endurance for it that you eventually will. But this is new for you so don’t overdue it. Your strength will build with time.”

Sasuke rose to his feet and Kakashi followed, swaying slightly. He could see the Uchiha brace in case he needed support, but his body cooperated.

“Kakashi?”

“Hmm?”

The barest of smiles touched Sasuke’s face. “Thanks.”

*******

Kakashi was hovering somewhere in the world between sleep and awareness when he heard the patter of footsteps on the roof followed by the unmistakable sound of a shuriken hitting a wooden target. Another shuriken hitting the wall. Another hitting the tile.

“Dang it!”

That was Naruto. He was clearly still training. It was dusk, the light would be fading soon.

Why is he training at this hour?

Kakashi rose from his bed, opened his window, and looked up. He could see Naruto’s spikey blonde hair. “Naruto… what are you doing?”

“Oh.” He trotted over, peering down at his sensei. “Sorry, Kakashi sensei. Did I wake you up?”

He ignored the question. “What are you doing up there?”

“Uhhh…nothing,” the kid said, looking away.

Kakashi knew all too well his tone indicated that something was wrong. Sighing, he grabbed the pole next to his window and used it to climb up on the roof. It was harder without being able to send chakra to his feet for extra stability, but he was happy to see his body respond automatically to his training.

Naruto caught sight of him and gasped in surprise. “Kakashi sensei! You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“I might not be at my former strength, but I’m not an invalid,” he told him lightly. He stood to his full height. He looked and saw a wood plank sitting up against the wall that housed the stairs to the roof. There were several shuriken strewn about and a few embedded in the plank, but none in the target that had been drawn on it. “What are you having trouble with?”

Naruto averted his gaze, chewing on his lower lip. Kakashi waited patiently.

“Well, I was watching Sasuke train today…”

Ah.

“…and he was hitting all of his targets with his eyes closed! Not even using his Sharingan at all! So I figured if he could do it, so could I!”

“And let me guess. It turned out to be harder than you thought.”

Naruto looked defeated. “Yeah.”

“Uh huh. Well, why don’t you show me?”

The boy took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and threw his shuriken. It completely missed the plank, hit the edge of the tile, then clattered to the ground. Naruto made a sound of frustration.

“I see,” Kakashi said thoughtfully.

“I really suck,” the genin grumbled.

“Right now, I’d have to agree with you.”

Naruto crossed his arms with a growl.

Kakashi chuckled. “Now, now, don’t go losing your temper. Most of us do when presented with a new skill. How about I help you fix it?”

Naruto lit up. “You mean it?”

“Sure. Now, take your stance and close your eyes.”

Naruto obeyed. Kakashi stood behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders, slightly adjusting him.

“Now, slow your breathing, centering your chakra.”

As Naruto complied, he knelt behind the boy, checking his aim, ignoring the protest in his knees.

“Good. Now visualize your target in your mind.” A moment passed. “When you’re ready, release.”

Naruto let the shuriken fly.

“Did I do it?”

Kakashi smiled. “Open your eyes and see.”

They looked to see the shuriken perfectly set in the bullseye of the target. Naruto shrieked happily.

“Remember, when you are calm, you can analyze and prepare. Rush and you’ll miss every time, which can really be dangerous in battle.”

“Got it,” he said with a smile.

Kakashi smiled back at him. “All right, enough training for today. Let’s go back in.”

“Ok! But, Kakashi sensei, please take the stairs this time!”

*******

Kakashi laid in bed, one arm strewn over his forehead. He really should be sleeping, it was quite late at night, but his thoughts were noisy company.

Today he had been able to teach each of his students. It might have only been for a few brief moments, but in those moments he had forgotten about his changed life. He had felt whole.

When Kakashi had originally been presented with being a Jonin Team Leader, he thought he was the worst person for the job. Hell, he probably still was. He had taken on Team 7 because of orders, kept them because they passed his test.

He never suspected it would go beyond that.

There came a very soft knock on his doorframe, followed by a quiet, “Sensei?”

Kakashi lowered his arm and looked to see Naruto standing there, sleeping cap on his head, rubbing his eye. “Naruto…is everything alright?”

“I can’t sleep.”

Well, that makes two of us. Kakashi sat up, swinging his legs to the floor. He motioned for Naruto to come sit next to him. “What’s on your mind, kid?”

It was a minute before Naruto spoke and when he did, he didn’t meet his eyes. “We meet our new team leader tomorrow.”

Kakashi sighed, trying to convince himself that fact did not twist his heart. “Are you nervous about that?”

“Kinda,” he admitted. He looked at him. “Honestly, I’m more nervous about not having you as my sensei.”

“Oh?”

“Mmm,” he said with a nod. His gaze drifted to the window, looking at the stars. “I’ll be honest, I never let anyone know it, but I was scared to meet you at first. I’d heard the rumors, other kids whispering about ‘Cold Blooded Kakashi’ and how happy they were that they hadn’t been assigned to your team. But, as we developed as a team, I saw that the rumors about you weren’t true.” He looked in his eyes, a small smile on his face. “You’re actually really nice! And kinda cool!”

Kakashi couldn’t speak. A shiver that had nothing to do with being cold trickled down his spine.

“The four of us have really become a true team,” he continued. “I don’t know…it just doesn’t feel right to not have you as our leader.”

Kakashi sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows, eye closed. He found his voice, keeping his tone gentle. “The shinobi world is tough and unpredictable. Orders can change. You may go from one squad to the next and you have to be flexible, be willing to work as a team with absolutely everyone you are assigned with. When I was in the ANBU, I had to accept each assignment, sometimes not knowing who was assigned with me for missions…if anyone.”

Naruto’s eyes grew wide. “You were part of the ANBU Black Ops??”

Kakashi looked at him, humor in his eye. “I would have thought my tattoo gave that away.”

Naruto grinned and chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Oh. Right.”

Kakashi gave a soft laugh and sat back up, looking at the boy. When he spoke, his tone was light, but serious. “Naruto…you, Sasuke, and Sakura all have the potential to be very fine shinobi. Focus on your training, do well on your missions, and mind your new sensei.” He placed his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”

In the next moment, Naruto fell against him, forcing a grunt out of him, cheek on his chest. Small hands wrapped around his waist and silent tears stained his shirt.

“I’m gonna miss you, Kakashi sensei,” he whispered.

Kakashi took his shoulders and gently pried him off. “Hey, I’m not gone forever,” he told him softly.

Some of the sadness faded from Naruto’s eyes as he looked at him. “You mean, I’ll still get to see you?”

He smiled. “You are my comrade. You didn’t abandon me and I won’t abandon you. In the ways that I can, I will continue to be there for you.”

Naruto looked at him, his face spreading to one of the wide grins Kakashi had come cherish. The boy looked in the direction of the shelf next to Kakashi’s bed and he realized his eyes were on the picture of Team 7.

A team that was now in the past.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, feeling more fatigued than before. “We should get some sleep.”

Naruto nodded and started to walk out. But before he reached the door, he turned back. “Kakashi sensei?”

“Yeah?”

The smile came again. “Thanks.”

He walked out and Kakashi laid back down on his bed, joints throbbing. He knew it was no accident that Lord Third had placed Naruto in his team. The son of his sensei. The boy he had watched over before he was born.

The child he had abandoned.

Lost in his personal hell, Kakashi had delved into the world of the ANBU. Later, meeting Naruto officially was both nostalgic and painful. He had been terrified of failing his sensei’s son, terrified of passing him.

If Minato were alive, he’d probably be disappointed in him for leaving Naruto to fend for himself.

If Minato were alive, there was no doubt he would be proud of his only son.

Kakashi rolled onto his side, facing the wall. Those kids, especially Naruto, had pulled him from the brink. He had been surprised at their devotion after his injury…he hadn’t realized they were so attached to him. How did that happen? When?

It honestly didn’t matter, the fact remained.

Another fact was how attached he had become to them.

It was an odd thing, having a heart be so full and so broken at the same time.

Sleep never came.

Chapter Text

When morning broke, Kakashi heard the kids rise from their slumber and get ready for the day. He stayed in his bed, the cover pulled up to his ears, still lying on his side. He knew he should get up, see them off on meeting their new sensei, set a good example. But his limbs felt heavy and even the thought of moving hurt.

“I’ll bring sensei his breakfast,” he heard Sakura say.

“Actually, I think we should let him sleep.” That was Naruto.

“What makes you say that?” she asked.

It was a moment before Naruto spoke. “Well, he and I talked last night…it was really late. I don’t think he had been sleeping.” A sigh. “I…I think he’s having a hard time with this, too.”

Silence.

“I know what it’s like,” Sasuke said slowly, “to have the life you’ve known completely ripped from you. It shakes the very foundation of your existence. And it never lets you go.”

More silence. Then Sakura’s voice.

“I don’t like leaving him alone like this. He’s still not well.”

“It can’t be helped,” Sasuke said and Kakashi could imagine the shrug that went with the remark. “We have orders to report to our new sensei. If anyone understands that, it’s Kakashi.”

That was true.

“Yeah, ok,” Sakura said quietly.

Naruto made a sound of frustration. “Geez, Sasuke, I really hate it when you’re right.”

The door opened. “Come on,” Sasuke said, “we don’t want to be late.”

Sakura made a soft sound of agreement and Naruto said quietly, “Right.”

The sound of feet pattered across the boards and the door closed.

Kakashi felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. As of today, they were no longer his students. It couldn’t be helped, his body had proven he could no longer instruct his kids.

He needed to stop thinking about them like that. Now that they had been transferred to another sensei, they were no longer his kids.

Sighing, he sat up, the exhaustion of no sleep and his weakened body laying heavy on his shoulders. He stood, forcing his legs not to tremble as he walked into the kitchen. Sitting on the table were some rice balls, the breakfast the kids had obviously left for him. He thought about eating, but decided he wasn’t hungry.

He lifted his head. “How long have you been here?”

His living room window opened and he heard a foot being set on the windowsill. “Your instincts are as sharp as ever, my rival!” Guy stated with a laugh. “I actually only just arrived. Today is my day off, so I thought I’d come by and see how you’re doing.”

Kakashi looked at him, seeing that the Blue Beast was sitting in the window, one knee propped up with his arm draped across it, resting his back against the frame. “The kids put you up to this, didn’t they?”

Guy gave a knowing smile, but there was a hint of sadness there, which was an odd sight for the excessively positive Jonin. “They’re worried about you, Kakashi. And it wouldn’t have mattered if they said anything to me or not, I would have come anyway.”

So that means he was already on his way. And not only has he found out about my condition, but he knew today is the day the kids get their new sensei.

Kakashi honestly didn’t know if he should feel annoyed or comforted.

Guy climbed the rest of the way into the apartment. “Why don’t you go lay back down? I can tell how exhausted you are from here.”

Kakashi shrugged. “It won’t do any good. Besides, I want…I need…to go to the Memorial Stone.”

Guy tilted his head. “I’m not so sure that’s a wise decision, my friend. You look ready to drop.”

Kakashi glared in his direction. “It’s not up for debate. I’m going. You can either come or leave. Your choice.”

Guy raised his hand in a fist, a smile of determination on his face. “I promised the kids you wouldn’t be alone today and a promise from Might Guy is one you can count on!”

“Let’s go, then.”

*******

As they walked to the Memorial Stone, Guy kept his eye on Kakashi, hoping that he wasn’t being too obvious about it. His friend was walking slower than normal and he knew him well enough to see his mild signs of chakra exhaustion. Walking at a slow pace usually frustrated the youthfully energetic shinobi, but today his oldest friend just needed him to be by his side.

Not that Kakashi would ever admit that.

But that was ok. It was just who he was.

They walked in silence, coming to the Memorial Stone. Guy hung back and stood a few paces behind Kakashi. It was a nice day, but he had grabbed a jacket before they had left the apartment, probably to keep any chills he might be experiencing at bay. Kakashi normally stood very strong and sure, but not now. Now, he stood slightly hunched and without his Jonin uniform or his headband, he seemed much smaller and more fragile somehow.

It made Guy’s heart drop.

“I’m going to have my Sharingan removed,” Kakashi blurted out.

Guy heard himself gasp in shock, his breath audibly catching in his throat. He had not been expecting to hear that. He honestly had not expected Kakashi to say anything, he usually was very silent and closed off when visiting the Stone.

He didn’t know what to think. He wanted to protest, but the reality was, the Sharingan was a source of chakra drain for Kakashi. All it would take would be him opening that eye and the worst could happen. It had become such a part of his identity and would be counted as yet another loss in the man’s life. Guy silently cursed the jutsu, the caster, and whoever had developed it… they had completely destroyed his dear rival’s life.

“That’s why I wanted to come here today,” Kakashi continued quietly, his downward gaze causing his hair to come over his eyes. “I…need to apologize to Obito.”

Guy sighed, looking off in the distance. He so desperately wanted to find a shred of positivity to share with his friend, but his heart was heavy. “Have you told the kids?”

Kakashi sighed. “No. It is not their burden.”

“Don’t you think you should? They’ll be worried about you.”

“They’re already worried. No sense in adding more on. Besides, an eye removal surgery is a simple procedure…I’d be in and out in just a few hours.”

“That’s not the point.”

Kakashi sighed. “I’m not in the mood to debate this.”

Guy did not miss the thinly veiled fatigue in his voice. He decided not to press the issue. He could see the slight tremor going through his friend’s form, right now it was taking all his energy just to be here.

They stood in silence for a while. But then, Guy noticed Kakashi sway and begin tipping to the side. He was there in a flash, catching his friend before he fell. Worry gripped his stomach. He studied him and realized that the silver haired man had simply fallen asleep. He swept him up into his arms, feeling like he was too light. Kakashi’s frame had always been willowy, but Guy always thought he was a bit too thin.

He carried him over to the shade of a large tree and set him down, adjusting Kakashi’s back to lean against the strong trunk in what he hoped was a comfortable position. The shade did not hide how pale he was. Even in sleep, Guy could see the heaviness of his burden in his shoulders. He allowed his tears to flow free…he had never been ashamed to show his emotions.

He sat down in the grass beside his friend. He had known Kakashi practically all of his life, knew better than most the trials and tribulations that the last Hatake had endured. It had caused Kakashi to put quite a few barriers around his heart and Guy knew that being in the ANBU had only exasperated that.

But then, three little genin had come along, each unknowingly having a key to open the locks.

Guy had seen the start of a real change in Kakashi once he passed Team 7. Kids had a way of showing you a different side of life, a hope for the future. Kakashi’s walls had just begun crack…he had just started to allow himself to actually care again.

And then this.

Guy knew the tug of war that had happened in Kakashi’s soul. He wanted to push the kids away, have them forget about him, and go back to being alone. When he was alone there was no one to hurt. At least, that’s what Guy knew Kakashi told himself, but it was a lie, because he knew it hurt Kakashi.

And now the part of his soul that the kids had touched, had started to make whole again, didn’t want to let that go. The basic human drive to feel needed and loved, that was where those kids sat in his heart. And where he sat in theirs.

Guy had seen how Naruto, Sauske, and Sakura were with their sensei. He had watched the pranks they pulled, the laughter (and arguing) they shared, the training they endured. He had seen how much they actually cared about him.

They were good kids. He knew they weren’t going to abandon Kakashi.

Kakashi, you have been by yourself for so long. On your own with your demons haunting you. I hope you realize that you aren’t alone anymore. I don’t think your kids will allow it.

He looked at the sky and kept vigil while Kakashi slept.

*******

A gentle breeze stirring his hair caused Kakashi to open his eye. He realized he was sitting in the shade, his back leaned up against a thick tree. His brain swam with confusion, then he realized he must have fallen asleep. This was the second day in a row this had happened without him realizing it. That was just great.

Guy sat to his right in a relaxed position, not looking at him. But when Kakashi adjusted his shoulders against the tree, he turned.

“Ah, you’re awake. How are you feeling, rival?” Guy asked.

He sighed. Judging from the sun’s position in the sky, he had been asleep for a few hours. “Useless,” was his bitter answer.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. Naruto already suspected you did not sleep well last night. Your body is still recovering. Sleep is its natural way to heal.”

“Except that I’m not going to get better, Guy. This is my reality now.”

Guy turned his body to face him. “But it’s a reality you do not have to face alone.” He put his thumb in his chest, puffing proudly. “As your oldest and closest friend, I pledge to help in any way I can.” He smiled. “And I’m sure the kids will as well.”

Kakashi closed his eye. “They will be busy with missions and training. They will have more important things to focus on. I don’t want to hold them back.” He paused. “I am a burden to them.”

Guy leaned forward. “Kakashi, I think you truly underestimate the influence you have had in the lives of those three kids. I’ve seen how they look at you. It is not possible that they see you as a burden.”

The Copy Ninja gazed off into the distance. “Are you trying to tell me I’ve been a… positive influence on them?”

He laughed. “Yes, of course! But also something more than that.”

“Oh?”

“That your kids genuinely care about you! And that’s not a bad thing or something to run away from.”

Kakashi laid his head back against the tree, closing his eye. He thought about the conversation he and Naruto had. At how happy the kid had gotten when he found out that he wasn’t going to be gone from his life forever. “I’m not running away,” he said quietly. “I just don’t want to hold them back.”

Guy crossed his legs. “You won’t. It’s true, once you’re well enough, they’ll go back home. They will train with their new sensei using the full power of their youth. But they will come back from missions and tell you all about them. They will show off the skills they have learned. They will keep you in their lives. And you will be proud of them.”

Kakashi felt a half smile curl underneath his mask. “I already am.”

Guy returned his smile. “Good!”

Kakashi slowly pushed himself to his feet, legs trembling slightly. Guy reached out to help, but he held a hand up, warding him off. He swayed slightly, but was able to right himself on his own.

“Come on,” Guy said. “Let’s get you home.”

*******

The walk back was slower than before. By the time they reached the entrance to Kakashi’s apartment complex, the fatigue and weakness was really catching up with him. Guy could hear his increased breathing and see the slight sheen of sweat on his brow. Kakashi grabbed the stair rail with his left hand and began the daunting task of climbing. It looked like weights were attached to his knees as he began his assent. He got to the third step before he reached out with his right hand.

“Guy, do you mind helping me out?”

He pumped his fists. “I’ll do you one better! I shall carry you on my back!”

“No!” Kakashi emphasized. “No, no. That won’t be necessary.”

“I’m more than happy to!”

“I’m sure you are, but that never ends well for me.”

“But - ”

“Guy.”

The stress in Kakashi’s voice broke Guy out of his protest. It was then he noticed that Kakashi’s extended arm was trembling, his grip on the rail turning his knuckles white. Quickly, he pulled the quaking limb over his shoulders, wrapping one arm around his friend’s back to help support him. “Alright, I’ve got you,” he said quietly, feeling the weaker man lean into his strength for a moment.

It was slow going, but they made it. When they reached the top of the stairs, Kakashi released Guy and leaned into the wall, taking a moment to catch his breath. Guy stood by, ready to aid again, but when he started walking towards his apartment, he was able to do so under his own power.

They got to the door but before Kakashi could put his key in, it opened to reveal three angry genin, all standing there with their arms crossed.

Guy grimaced. “Uh oh.”

Kakashi gave a weak smile and a wave. “Uh…hi, guys.”

“Kakashi sensei, where do you get the gall to be out all day? Cha!” Sakura scolded him.

“Well, we just got lost on the path of life,” he said easily, but it did nothing to appease the kids.

Naruto pointed at him. “Yeah, we’ve heard that excuse before!”

“You’re still in recovery,” Sasuke said sternly. “If you’re not going to take care of yourself, we have no problem taking you back to the hospital.”

“Honestly, Guy sensei,” Sakura exclaimed, exasperated, “leaving him with Naruto would’ve been better!”

“Yeah!” Naruto agreed, then the insult registered and he glared at Sakura. “Hey!”

Guy chuckled. “Ho ho, Kakashi, your ‘parents’ are strict!”

Kakashi gave him a look of long suffering.

The kids all reached out, grabbing Kakashi by his jacket. They yanked him forward, dragging him into the apartment. Kakashi looked back over his shoulder, his eye showing a bit of trepidation.

“Uh, Guy? A little help?”

“Oh no, he can’t help you now!” Sakura yelled, slamming the door in Guy’s face.

Guy couldn’t help but stand there for a few moments, laughing to himself at the chaos the kids were unleashing on his rival.

“Really, Kakashi, what were you thinking? Look at you, you can barely stand!”

“You didn’t eat your breakfast! And knowing your eating habits, that means you haven’t eaten all day!”

“It’s food, then bed! No arguments!”

“Uh, guys, I - ”

“SHUT UP, SENSEI!”

Guy turned and walked away, still chuckling as the kids continued their verbal assault. He knew Kakashi was in good hands.

*******

Soft tinkering stirred Kakashi out of his slumber. He took a deep breath, surprised at how rested he felt. After yesterday, he had expected his body to still feel heavy and slow, but that clearly was not the case.

He stood and gingerly stretched his aching limbs. Once done, he walked out of his bedroom to see Sakura busying herself in his kitchen.

The young kunoichi looked up at him and smirked. “Good afternoon, sensei.”

“ ‘Afternoon’?” he repeated, eye wide. He scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin and nervous laugh. “Guess I overslept. Sorry about that.”

“That probably wouldn’t have happened had you not over-exerted yourself yesterday. You really need to take better care of yourself,” she scolded him.

“Aww, Sakura, leave him alone,” Naruto said as he walked over from the living area. “I think we yelled at him enough yesterday.”

Kakashi held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Don’t worry, I learned my lesson,” he informed them with a small chuckle. He looked at Sakura. “What are you up to?”

“I’m making lunch.”

Kakashi’s stomach immediately did a somersault.

Naruto snuck up beside him, his back to Sakura. “Hey, sensei, don’t worry,” he whispered discreetly. “Sasuke’s out getting some real food, we’ll switch it when we can. So your stomach is safe.”

“Good thinking,” Kakashi whispered back. “I really don’t feel like throwing up again.”

“Me neither,” Naruto agreed and they both shuddered.

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Sakura demanded.

“Uhh…” For once, Kakashi was not quick on his feet with an excuse.

Naruto thrust his thumb at Kakashi’s chest. “Oh! I was just letting sensei here know that I can totally overpower him now, so he’d better watch himself or I’ll drag him back to the hospital myself!”

“Oh really?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. “Is that how it is now?”

Naruto raised his fists, glaring at him with a mischievous grin. “You’d better believe it!”

The next thing Kakashi knew, he was sparing with Naruto. His moves were slower and Naruto was not using his full strength, but that didn’t seem to matter. The kid was giggling.

And Kakashi found himself laughing.

Really laughing.

He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.

It felt…

Good.

His momentary lapse caused Naruto to lay a kick to his side, knocking him to the ground. The blonde placed his foot on his chest, playfully pinning him to the floor. He leaned forward, pointing at him. “Ha ha! I got ya!”

Kakashi smiled. “Lucky shot.”

Naruto placed his hands on his hips, snickering. “Still counts!”

Kakashi was more winded than he should have been from such a gentle match, but he found that he didn’t care. Any distractions that came which caused him to momentarily forget the ruins in which his life lay were more than welcome.

“Sensei, you should still be resting,” Sakura called from the kitchen. “Honestly, Naruto, you’re completely reckless!”

“Hey, I’m not made of glass, you know,” Kakashi said with a chuckle as Naruto lifted his foot off his chest. He rolled himself into a sitting position, looking at the boy. “I can tell you’ve been practicing your taijutsu.”

He smiled. “Sure have! Sauske and I spared yesterday after our new sensei ditched us.”

Kakashi’s eye went wide. “What?”

“Oh, Naruto, that’s not right at all!” Sakura exclaimed with an eye roll. She looked at Kakashi. “We reported to where we were supposed to meet him, but a messenger came to inform us that he actually needed to be called away on another important mission.”

“I see.”

That’s odd…

“It was a bit of a bummer,” Naruto said. “I’m ready to go out on missions again!”

At that moment, a spoon came flying from the kitchen and landed squarely in the middle of Naruto’s forehead.

“OW!” he yelled, rubbing the spot.

“You’re seriously so rude!” Sakura shouted at him.

Naruto turned to face her. “I didn’t mean anything by it! It’s just that some of us have to pay rent, ya know?!”

“It’s only natural you should want to resume your missions,” Kakashi told him. “It’s a large part of the life of a shinobi.”

I’ll make sure he can afford his rent.

Sakura walked over, glass of water in hand. “Here, sensei,” she said with a smile, handing it to him.

“Thank you, Sakura.”

“Naruto, can you go ahead and set the table while I finish lunch?”

“You got it!”

Kakashi smiled, watching the kids busy themselves at their tasks. He started to pick himself up off the floor, but then, a sharp pain took over, blanketing his entire form. He felt himself crash to the ground, the glass tumbling from his hand and rolling away, leaving a trail of water.

“Kakashi sensei!” both kids cried out in unison and were by his side in a flash.

Kakashi groaned as it felt like an invisible force was keeping him pinned down. He felt his body stiffen and convulse. Breathing became difficult.

“Is he having a seizure?”

“I don’t know!”

It wasn’t a seizure. Kakashi realized with horror it was something far more dreadful.

It was his chakra…his chakra was draining from him! It was like it was being pulled out, like a weapon designed to do more damage coming out than going in.

He forced his eye open and saw the terrified eyes of Naruto and Sakura. He tried to move his lips to tell them something comforting, but only gurgles and gasps erupted from his throat.

Kakashi had made his peace with dying long ago.

But now….

Oh, Kami, he thought. Not in front of the kids! Please, don’t let me die in front of the kids!

He felt a sudden shock in his heart.

Darkness claimed him.

Chapter Text

Kakashi felt himself drifting up to awareness. A cool cloth was gently being pressed along his temples. He heard quiet whispers, but couldn’t make out any words.

His eye fluttered open.

“Kakashi sensei?” a soft voice spoke.

Sakura.

He turned his head slowly, seeing the pink haired girl kneeling by his bed. She was the one applying the cloth. Behind her stood Naruto and Sasuke. Worry lines were etched into all their foreheads.

“Hey…you ok?” Naruto asked, his voice low.

Kakashi licked his dry lips under his mask. “I think so.”

He started to sit up, biting back a groan, his muscles quaking and achy with the effort. He felt Sakura grip the rag in her hand, move her hands to his shoulders, and give him the support he was embarrassed to need.

“Naruto and Sakura told me what happened,” Sasuke said. “We talked… we think you should go back to the hospital.”

Kakashi shook his pounding head. “No.”

“Kakashi sensei,” Sakura said quietly, “it’s pretty obvious you don’t like hospitals, but this is serious. At least go to have someone examine you.”

His eye focused on the spot on his comforter where a shuriken should have been in the pattern, but wasn’t. It was such an oddity…

“There’s nothing they can do,” he said bitterly.

Naruto stepped forward. “But what if you have another one of those fits? You’re lucky that one stopped!”

Kakashi moved his hand to his heart, remembering the strange feeling he had right before he blacked out. “It shouldn’t have stopped,” he said quietly.

Naruto’s eyes grew wide. “Wha-what do you mean?”

Always the analyst, Sasuke narrowed his eyes and looked at him. “There’s something you haven’t told us.”

Sakura’s jade eyes fell on him, trembling with worry. “What’s wrong, sensei?” She moved to squeeze his forearm comfortingly, but he shrugged her off. His rejection he knew hurt her, as she stood and backed up to stand next to Sasuke. That hadn’t been his intention. Oh well, too late now.

“Kakashi sensei…” Naruto trialed off.

Kakashi felt all eyes on him. He wouldn’t…couldn’t…meet their gaze.

“Out with it, Kakashi.” It was clear the Uchiha was losing patience.

Eye downcast, still clutching his side, he licked his lips again. “The episode I had,” he said slowly, his voice rough, “was not a seizure. It was chakra…leaking from my body.”

Naruto and Sakura gasped.

“Is it…” Sakura said in a small voice. “Is it because of that jutsu?”

Kakashi closed his eye. “Yes.”

Solemn realization filled Sasuke’s voice. “So that means you’re going to lose your chakra over time.”

It wasn’t a question, so Kakashi didn’t respond. It was confirmation enough to turn the air in the room very heavy.

“Wait, I don’t get it,” Naruto said. “I’ve heard of people needing chakra… transformations? Uh…transitions? Ummm…”

“You mean transfusions,” Sakura supplied quietly.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it! What if we got you one of those? Then you’d be fixed up in no time!”

“It wouldn’t work,” Kakashi told him tiredly. “Remember how I told you my entire chakra network was poisoned? If I had been eligible for a transfusion, they would have done it while I was at the hospital.”

He could hear the tremor and fear in Naruto’s voice. “Wha-what are you saying?”

Luckily, Sasuke spared him from having to say it. “He’s saying that he’s dying.”

Sakura made a choked sound, her hand flying to her mouth.

Naruto gave a nervous smile and chuckle. “C-come on, Sasuke! You can’t joke about stuff like that!”

Sasuke glared at him. “Do I look like I’m joking, loser?” His voice wasn’t quite as steady as normal.

Naruto gritted his teeth, his breath starting to come in gasps. He looked desperately at his sensei for some glimmer of hope, but Kakashi had none.

“No…” the blonde whispered. Tears loomed in the edges of his eyes and his whole body shook with a violent tremor.

“NO!” The cry he uttered made Kakashi feel like he was being stabbed. The kid ran out of the room, tears flying off his cheeks and glistening in the light.

“Naruto!” Sakura called after him.

“Let him go,” Kakashi told her quietly as the front door slammed closed.

*******

The sun was setting by the time Iruka was able to leave the Academy. For once he had decided to grade papers there and not bring his work home with him.

Stepping out of the building, something caught his eye. Looking up, he saw it was Naruto, sitting on the lone swing. He smiled. “Hey, Naruto!”

Naruto barely looked at him. “Oh. Hey, Iruka sensei.” His voice was quiet.

Something isn’t right. Iruka walked over. “I was thinking about getting some ramen for dinner. Want to join me?”

Naruto turned his head away. “I’m not hungry.”

And that was when Iruka knew something was really wrong.

He sat down at the base of the tree. “Want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

Naruto kept his back to him, both hands holding the rope in front of him, eyes downcast. It had been a long time since Iruka had seen him like this.

“It’s Kakashi sensei.”

“I heard you and your teammates have been helping him out lately. How’s that been going?”

“It was going fine.” There was an edge of sadness in his tone.

“ ‘Was’?” Iruka repeated. “What happened?”

Naruto inhaled a shaky breath. “He just told us that he’s…” He closed his eyes. “…that he’s…dying.”

“What?” Iruka exclaimed. “That’s…that…”

That seems impossible!

Iruka gritted his teeth, struggling with the shocking news. He lowered his head. “Oh, Naruto…I’m sorry to hear that. That’s… devastating.”

“I knew he wasn’t going to fully get better,” Naruto said quietly. “But I had no idea that…” He trailed off, clearly unable to finish the sentence.

Iruka waited, not wanting to speak if Naruto needed more time to gather his thoughts. The wind picked up, stirring his hair in the breeze.

The silence stretched on.

Iruka drew a breath, but then Naruto spoke again.

“He knew.” He gripped the rope tighter. “He’s known this whole time. And yet he didn’t tell us.” He looked at Iruka, tears falling down his cheeks. “Why wouldn’t he tell us?”

Iruka leaned his head back against the tree with a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. “Well, it’s not an easy thing to admit to yourself, let alone anyone else.”

Naruto sighed. “Yeah, I guess I can see that. It just…hurts that he didn’t tell us.”

“I’m sure Kakashi had no intention of deceiving you.” He leaned forward, crossing his legs and resting his arms on them. “There is one thing I do know, Naruto. All three of you do have Kakashi’s trust.”

“You think so? Because I’m not so sure.”

“I’m sure you know how private and secluded he is. Kakashi keeps himself at arms length from pretty much everyone.”

Naruto lowered his head. “Yeah, he’s not really the sociable type most of the time.”

Iruka smiled. “The point I’m trying to make is that if Kakashi did not want you guys there, you wouldn’t be.”

Naruto gave a small chuckle. “You sure about that?” The corners of his lips turned up in a barely there mischievous smirk. “The three of us can be pretty convincing.”

Iruka laughed. “I’m sure that’s true.” He stood, placing a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “I know you’re hurting right now. I’m sure Sasuke and Sakura are as well. But understand this is much more difficult for Kakashi. Have some patience with him, ok?”

Naruto gave him a sad smile. “Thanks, Iruka sensei. I actually feel a lot better now.”

“Good enough for ramen?”

Naruto stood. “No, I should probably go back.” Another solemn look appeared on his face. “I actually realized I have a question for Kakashi sensei.”

Iruka gave a nod. “Another time, then.”

Naruto put on another brave smile with a giggle, then took off, waving behind him. “See you later, Iruka sensei!”

Iruka waved back at him, wearing a smile, but feeling a heaviness in his heart. He didn’t know Kakashi well, but he had heard enough from Naruto to know that he was important to the boy. Because Naruto had been rejected by so many for so long, he held those who accepted him quite close to his heart.

He knew Kakashi’s death would be extremely hard on the boy.

I’m here, Naruto. Whenever you need me.

*******

Kakashi awoke to the sound of his window opening. A quiet shadow jumped in, landing softly on the boards.

“Naruto.”

“Sorry for running off like that,” he said quietly. The boy pulled his feet out of his sandals, keeping his back to him.

“That’s all right,” he told him, sitting up.

Naruto sighed. “I just have one question for you, sensei.” His voice was unsteady, his clenched fists trembling.

“What is it?” Kakashi kept his voice gentle.

“Was I wrong to stop you…” He turned to face him. “…that night?”

Kakashi closed his eye, guilt weighing heavily in his stomach.

“No.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, looking down at the ground. “I mean, it’s clear you knew what was eventually going to happen because of that jutsu.” He shifted uncomfortably, clearly fighting to keep his tears from spilling out. “What I’m trying to say is…I understand now. Maybe I was being selfish, only thinking about what I would lose if you - ”

“No!” Kakashi forcefully cut him off, pushing the word past the lump in his throat. He swallowed, dropping his head. “I was…not well in that moment.” He looked back up at the boy. “I’m grateful you were there. But it’s not something you should have gone through. For that, I am sorry.”

Before Naruto could reply, Sasuke and Sakura came from around the corner and stood in the doorway.

“We heard voices and realized you were back,” Sasuke said.

“Are you ok, Naruto?” Sakura asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Then pick up your shoes and come on,” Sasuke told him, then looked at Kakashi. “You should go back to sleep.”

“Actually, could you guys come in for a minute? I have something to tell you.”

The kids exchanged glances with each other, then shuffled inside.

Kakashi took a deep breath, looking down at his hands in his lap. “Look, I appreciate what you guys have been doing, but this has gone beyond just helping me get over some exhaustion. I - ”

“You can stop right there, Kakashi sensei,” Naruto interrupted him, quiet resolve in his voice. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Kakashi looked at his kids. “But - ”

“Don’t even bother to protest, Kakashi,” Sasuke told him. “The three of us discussed this a while ago.”

“We’re going to stay here with you,” Sakura said gently. “Anything we can do to help you, we will.”

“You’ve had our backs more times than we can count,” Naruto said, a tear slipping free. “Now, it’s our turn. We don’t care how hard it might get, we won’t let you face this alone.”

Kakashi’s breathing quickened. He’d had years of always being alone, of pushing people away. Kakashi couldn’t blame anyone for not sticking around…push most people far enough away long enough and they quit trying. With the exception of Guy, he had never had anyone fight to stay by his side.

Who would have thought this trio of rookie genin would break that cycle?

He realized he was trembling.

At that moment, Naruto jumped on the bed and wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s neck, burying his face in his shoulder. Sakura’s arms came and encircled his waist, her head resting on his arm. Sasuke knelt down, placing his hand on Kakashi’s knee.

Kakashi kept his head down as his kids embraced him, his heart pounding in his chest, fingers gripping his blanket. He didn’t know what to do. He had no words of encouragement or comfort for them. He should be the one doing the comforting, not them.

They should leave him, demand a new and consistent sensei, and focus on their training. But he knew his team well enough to know that once they made up their minds on something, there was no budging on it.

And it was so rare the three of them actually agreed on anything…

‘But those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.’

Kakashi bit his lower lip, realizing in this moment that his kids were doing exactly as he had taught them. That true meaning of teamwork he held so dear, to value and protect your comrades…his kids were showing they held the same viewpoint.

He shrank slightly into the warmth surrounding him, trying (unsuccessfully) to convince himself the kids needed this comfort more than he did.

Chapter Text

The hours ticked by slowly. Naruto rolled onto his back, sighing. He looked towards Sasuke and Sakura. “Hey… you guys awake?”

“Yeah,” came Sasuke’s voice.

“I can’t sleep either,” Sakura said, rolling onto her side on the couch.

Naruto knew that they were all thinking the same thing. Kakashi sensei was struggling. He had never seen his teacher just…shake. He hadn’t even really been thinking when he’d jumped on the bed to hug him, it was almost like an instinct. Most of the time, Kakashi pushed physical contact away. But this time he had just sat there, even shrunk into the kids’ embrace a little. Naruto had clung even tighter to him in that moment, silent tears staining Kakashi’s clothed neck. And still, he had sat there, unmoving. It had only been when they released him had he mumbled something about going back to sleep, slumping back into the mattress.

Kakashi had always been the strong one, the one they looked up to, the one they depended upon.

Never before had any of them ever seen their sensei seem so…lost.

And that scared Naruto more than watching him fit had.

“I’m really worried about Kakashi sensei,” he confessed to his teammates.

“Me, too,” Sakura said quietly.

“I think he needs to get checked out. I…” He bit his lip. “I was really scared he was dying earlier.”

“He’s being an idiot for not wanting to go to the hospital,” Sasuke said. “Tomorrow we’re taking his stubborn ass there even if we have to drag him.”

Naruto sat up, thinking about how Kakashi always became obviously distressed at the thought of going to the hospital. “I don’t know if that’s the best plan.”

Sasuke sat up as well. “You got a better one?”

“No, but - “

“Then keep your mouth shut!”

“Hey!”

“Guys, quiet down!” Sakura hissed at them. “We don’t want to wake sensei.”

Naruto growled a bit in frustration, but Sakura was right. They had started to get loud. Sasuke crossed his arms.

Sakura sighed. “Now that you two are done, want to hear my idea?”

Naruto turned to face her. “What is it?”

“I’ll go to the hospital in the morning and see if someone would be willing to come here. That would probably be a lot less stressful on him.”

Naruto grinned. “That’s a great idea, Sakura!”

Sasuke gave a nod of agreement. “It’s settled then.”

Naruto flopped back onto his bedroll and closed his eyes. There was a thread of happiness in his soul that they had come up with a solution, but his heart was still heavy. This entire ordeal was turning all their lives upside down.

He closed his eyes to sleep, gritting his teeth against the fear that he was going to lose one of the few precious people in his life.

*******

“You should not be annoyed at the children,” Dr. Akira told Kakashi as they walked into his bedroom. “They are only looking out for you.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Kakashi said with an air of dispassion that rivaled Shikamaru as he laid down on his bed. The kids had conveniently not told him that they were going to get the doctor to come and see him. While he knew they didn’t tell him because he would have protested, it still irked him a bit.

Akira came up, but before she could activate her medical ninjutsu, he sighed. “If you guys are just going to linger out there, you might as well come in.”

The trio of genin walked in somewhat meekly from around the corner, embarrassed they had been caught so easily. Kakashi closed his eye. He wanted to be mad at them…he really did. Last time Guy had pulled a stunt like this it had earned the jumpsuit wearing ninja a broken nose.

Kakashi didn’t like it when his personal space was invaded. He especially loathed when others forced him to situations where he didn’t have a choice. It made him feel cornered.

But when he looked at the young trio, the part of him that normally lashed out in anger at situations like this disappeared. These kids, they were something. As annoying as they could be sometimes (and there were moments where Kakashi thought they would drive him insane) he was fast learning that he could actually never be mad at them.

Akira began her examination, her hands hovering over his body as she began her reading. “Well, I can say right away your exhaustion level is better, but it’s not as improved as I would like.”

“See, sensei?” Sakura scolded, crossing her arms. “This is why you shouldn’t go gallivanting off once our backs are turned.”

“Sorry.”

Sasuke looked at the doctor. “Could his level of activity be what brought on the attack?”

Akira shrugged. “That’s difficult to say. We’re dealing with a lot of unknowns here.”

She continued to hover her hands over Kakashi’s chest, but when she moved over his heart, his muscles automatically tightened and he couldn’t stop the pained gasp that escaped him.

All three of the kids braced in shock. Naruto took a half step forward. “Are you ok, Kakashi sensei?”

Akira narrowed her eyes. “This is odd.”

The blonde’s eyes were wide as saucers. “What’s wrong?”

The doctor dropped her hands by her side and looked at Kakashi with a puzzled expression. “There is a seal on the chakra point to your heart.”

That was not something Kakashi was expecting to hear. “What?”

“It’s faint, but it’s definitely there.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Is it from the jutsu?”

Akira shook her head. “No. This is completely separate. It’s what stopped the attack.”

Kakashi moved his hand to his heart, almost subconsciously.

“How did it get there?” Sakura asked.

Akira sighed. “I don’t think there’s any way to know. Unless there is something you can think of, Mr. Hatake.”

He shook his head. His career as a shinobi was so long and he had encountered so many things along the way, to try and filter out anything would be impossible. He’d had his mind checked many times by Ibiki’s team after difficult missions. If he had any recollection at all of someone placing a seal on him, it would have already been revealed.“I’m afraid not.”

Akira nodded. “One thing is for certain, its placement is completely intentional. Whoever did it had great accuracy to be able to set it so precisely. But its integrity is fragile.” She looked at Kakashi. “It might be best if you come back to the hospital so we can monitor you better.”

“He doesn’t have to do that, we can do it,” Naruto said, widening his stance and pumping his fists in determination. “Just tell us what we need to know and we can do it, believe it!”

The kind doctor turned to face them, a small but sad smile on her face. “Listen, I’m sure you three have been doing an excellent job. But if I had known about this earlier, I actually would not have cleared him to be released from the hospital.” She looked at Kakashi. “There is another option, Mr. Hatake. Although I’m not sure it’s any more comfortable for you.”

“What is it?”

Akira sighed. “I can assign some in house medical staff.”

Kakashi froze. In other words…hospice.

The silence was deafening.

“Can he have some time to think about it?” Sasuke asked, obviously picking up on the change in Kakashi’s demeanor.

“Of course,” she said. “I cannot force any choice, but I do recommend you keep your activity level at the bare minimum, Mr. Hatake. You are quite fortunate that the seal activated before you lost too much chakra, but your reserves are lower than before. And it’s only our best guess as to when your chakra will start leaking again.”

Kakashi closed his eye, not able to process through all the information Akira had given him. When it was clear he had nothing to say, he heard Sakura thank the doctor and walk her out of the room.

He rolled over onto his side, his back to the boys. He felt like the world was closing over him. He felt lost. But one thing was clear.

He wouldn’t…couldn’t…put the kids through staying only to watch him die.

They didn’t deserve that.

“Get out,” he whispered.

Naruto, being Naruto, completely missed his meaning. “Ok, we’ll let you go back to sleep, sensei.”

“Get out,” he repeated. “Your futures don’t lie with me anymore. Just leave me alone. Please. Just…go.”

“Kakashi sensei - “

Whatever Naruto was about to say was cut off by Sasuke.

“Come on, Naruto.” His voice was surprisingly quiet. “Let’s go.”

“What’s wrong?” came Sakura’s voice.

“Kakashi wants us to leave,” Sasuke told her.

He heard his bedroom door shut. He gripped his hands into his fists and curled in on himself.

Forgive me.

*******

“Do you…do you think he meant he wanted us to leave him…for good?”

Naruto curled his palms into fists on his thighs at Sakura’s quiet words. He was sitting beside her on a bench, Sasuke standing a bit to the side with his arms crossed.

“That’s what it sounded like,” the Uchiha said. “We’re falling behind the other teams in missions and training. Kakashi is very aware of that fact.”

“But that shouldn’t matter right now,” Naruto said.

Sasuke gave a shrug. “It does if we ever want to advance and take the Chunin exams.”

Naruto jerked his head up. “Is that all you can think about right now?”

Sasuke dropped his hands into fists. “You want to be a genin the rest of your life, loser?”

The blonde leapt to his feet. “I don’t care if that happens! I’ll still be Hokage!”

“You have a fool’s dream!”

“Oh yeah? Well, you don’t even have a dream!”

“Guys, stop it!” Sakura yelled. “This isn’t the time to be fighting!”

Naruto ignored her, looking at Sasuke with a growl. “You sound like you don’t even care about Kakashi sensei!” he shouted at him.

The words had barely left his lips when Sasuke drew back and landed a punch square on Naruto’s jaw, dropping the kid to the pavement.

The raven eyes were hard. “Don’t you ever presume to know my feelings again!”

Sakura brought her hands close to her mouth. “Sasuke…”

Naruto wiped the blood from his split lip with the back of his hand. He pushed himself back onto his feet. The boys stared at each other, breathing hard with emotion. While them arguing was clearly nothing new, this entire ordeal had their nerves on edge.

Sasuke broke the silence. “Are you so dense to miss that even though his life is ending, Kakashi is still thinking about our futures?”

“Huh?“

Sasuke scoffed. “You really are a complete moron! You don’t see it at all!”

Sakura tilted her head. “Wait…I’m a little lost myself. What are you talking about?”

Sasuke turned his back to them. “Have you two completely forgotten that Kakashi drove himself to collapse trying to maintain our training?”

Naruto and Sakura gasped and lowered their heads. They hadn’t forgotten…how could they? All three of them had already seen their sensei collapse more than once and it was no less frightening each time.

“He was an idiot for pushing himself that much, but the fact remains. He doesn’t want to hold us back.”

“And by us staying with him, he feels guilty,” Sakura sadly realized.

Sasuke nodded. “Yeah.”

“But he shouldn’t,” Naruto said. “He needs help right now.”

“Kakashi’s never been the best with accepting help,” came a voice from above.

The kids looked up and saw a familiar face sitting on a strong branch.

“Guy sensei!” Sakura exclaimed.

Naruto yelped and pointed at him. “Have you been up there the whole time listening to us? That’s so rude! And kinda creepy!”

The exuberant shinobi leapt out of the tree and landed on one knee in front of the kids, fist raised, tears streaming down his cheeks. “It does my heart good to see Kakashi’s students be so devoted to him!”

Sakura lowered her head. “He’d do the same for any of us.”

“He shouldn’t feel guilty about any of this,” Naruto said. “It’s not his fault.”

“That doesn’t matter to a guy like Kakashi,” the Jonin said, shaking his head to rid his cheeks of the tears.

Sasuke put his hands back in his pockets. “He’s an idiot.”

“We can’t leave him,” Naruto said. “Not at a time like this.”

“But what if he really wants us to?” Sakura asked, tears welling in her eyes.

Guy rose to his full height. “Deep in his heart, I don’t think he does,” he said, his voice somber. “But Kakashi is a protector. He will always put the needs of others before his own. It’s who he is.”

“That’s true,” Naruto said quietly. He looked at Sakura. “I don’t care if he wants us to leave. If we do, we’ll be abandoning what he taught us that day.”

“Our team is like a chain,” Sasuke said. “Cut a link and the chain is broken. If that happens, our team will never be the same again.”

Guy put a fist in front of his chest with a smile. “The fierceness of youth you three possess is good for him. I’m glad he has you!”

Naruto smiled back, then looked at his teammates. “C’mon, guys! Let’s figure out something to raise Kakashi sensei’s spirits!”

Sakura smiled. “Good idea!”

*******

Guy watched the kids move down the path, talking busily amongst themselves. His heart broke for the young team and his eternal rival.

This was the first genin team that Kakashi had passed. He was truly beginning to see why.

The kids were now completely out of earshot. He lifted his head. “That you…Tenzō?”

He heard a figure behind him take a step. “I do wish you wouldn’t use that name out here. I am just a clone, though.”

Guy gave a nod. “I assume your original is out on a mission?”

“Yes.” Guy heard the tell-tale sound of an ANBU mask being taken off. “I felt I should inform you. Lord Third wants Kakashi to stay under watch. Even though his situation is dire, if any of his enemies were to learn of it…”

Guy lowered his head, not needing to hear Tenzō finish. Kakashi had a long career and had certainly made it into many enemies Bingo Books along the way. If any of them learned of his vulnerability, this would be the perfect time to strike. There were many out there who would pay a hefty price to be brought the head of the famous Copy Ninja.

“So that’s why the kids haven’t been formally assigned to you yet.”

“That’s correct. Even though they are only genin, the simple fact that they are with him all the time is a deterrent to any potential threat.”

“Mmm,” Guy grunted in agreement.

The Tenzō clone gave a sigh. “My original is almost too far away to continue my hold. When he returns, if there’s been any change in Kakashi’s condition…”

He trailed off, but Guy understood. Actually putting the thought of Kakashi’s death into words was almost too much to bear.

“Of course.”

Poof.

*******

Kakashi drifted up from his exhausted slumber. It really bothered him that he didn’t have as much control over his sleeping patterns as he usually did. He had been overwhelmed by Dr. Akira’s visit and, honestly, coming face to face with the looming prospect of death made him feel very depleted.

He really didn’t want the hospital to be where he would spend his last days. But calling in hospice was so…final.

And who even knew how long he really had left?

Perhaps this was karma’s punishment for all the wrongs he had committed, all the times he had failed.

At least he had the light the kids had brought into his life.

And that was when it hit him. The apartment was quiet.

Too quiet.

And he remembered what he had said…

He rolled into a sitting position, forcing himself not to wince. He slid his feet into his slippers, then opened the bedroom door. From his position in the hall he could see that all the lights were out in the other rooms. That was unusual, the kids usually kept the apartment quite bright.

He was alone.

So, you managed to push them away after all. Satisfied? You should be. That’s what you wanted, right?

Kakashi drew a shaky breath.

Not what I wanted. It’s what’s best for them.

The looming question…now what?

He turned to face his bedroom, gripping the doorframe with both hands. Why wait for death? He could just lie on his bed, open his Sharingan, and let his chakra bleed out of him. It would probably take a few hours, but death would be on his terms and…

He dug his nails into the doorframe. He couldn’t do that. He had promised Naruto. Hell, the kid had even asked if he had been wrong to stop him from plunging a kunai into himself! What twelve year old should have to ask his sensei that? He shivered, both at the memory and exhaustion. Contrary to some rumor that had surfaced years ago, he was not suicidal.

If he was, he wouldn’t still be here after Rin…

He pulled his right hand into a fist and hit the doorframe in frustration. Damn it! Had his life seriously come to this…weak and pathetic, waiting for death alone?

The sound of voices outside in the hall reached his ears. He couldn’t make out words, but it was definitely three distinct voices.

His breath caught in his throat as he heard a key turn in the lock. He turned and saw Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke walk in, flicking on the lights.

Naruto caught sight of him and beamed. “Hi, sensei! We’re back!”

Kakashi couldn’t speak, he didn’t trust his voice right now. The relief that washed over him nearly made his trembling knees buckle. He forced himself to remain upright as he walked slowly into the kitchen, where the kids were depositing the bags they were carrying.

“Sorry we were gone for so long,” Naruto continued. “But we had to go to three stores to get all the right fruits and then to Sasuke’s house to pick up his blender, since you don’t have one.”

“Blender?” Kakashi repeated, his voice quiet.

“Yeah! We’re gonna make smoothies!” the blonde announced excitedly.

Sakura looked at him, concern on her face. “Are you all right, sensei?”

“Y-yeah,” he stammered. “I just thought - “

“I told you last night not to protest us staying with you,” Sasuke said, plugging in the blender.

Naruto smiled. “And you know I never go back on what I say! That’s my ninja way, you know!”

Kakashi lowered his head, drawing in a shaky breath. A quiet presence came up beside him, he looked and saw it was Sakura, holding his robe.

“Here, sensei,” she said with a soft smile. “You should put this on.”

Kakashi took the robe from her and shrugged into it, giving the young kunoichi an eye smile. He looked at the counter and saw that Naruto and Sasuke had laid out an assortment of peaches, apples, mangos, and oranges. There was also a carton of milk and a container of yogurt. It struck him that not only had the kids paid for all of this, but they had somehow afforded to keep the place stocked with groceries.

Embarrassed at his oversight, he moved to the drawer he kept his wallet in and pulled it out.

“What are you doing?” Naruto asked.

“I need to pay you guys for all the food you’ve been getting. Please, tell me how much I owe.”

“Put it away, Kakashi,” Sasuke told him.

“Yeah,” Naruto said. “The smoothies are our treat!”

“And my parents paid for the groceries,” Sakura informed him.

“Please tell me what I owe them.”

She walked up to him, gently pried his wallet from his fingers, and placed it back in the drawer. “It was a gift. They offered and were happy to do it.”

Kakashi gave a single nod, swallowing down a lump in his throat as he watched Sakura close the drawer. He felt useless and embarrassed, but also there was a warmth in his chest as he looked at his genin. “Thanks. For everything.”

“Forget it,” Sasuke said.

“Awww, sensei, don’t go getting all mushy,” Naruto laughed at him.

Kakashi chuckled. “You know, I might actually like you guys.”

Sakura giggled. “Aw, sensei, who are you trying to kid? You love us!”

“I don’t know about that…”

She beamed at him. “It’s ok! You’ll admit it one day!”

Kakashi returned her smile, feeling some lightness settle in his spirit. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Sakura put her hands behind her back. “Do you want to cut the fruit?”

He chuckled nervously. “I don’t think that’s the best choice,” he said. “My hands…aren’t as steady as they used to be.”

“You could wash the fruit, then!” Naruto suggested. “Sakura will dry them, Sasuke will cut them, and I’ll blend!”

And so, Kakashi set forth to complete the task assigned to him, careful to keep the sleeves of his robe dry.

“What kind of smoothie would you like, sensei?” Naruto asked.

“Peach.”

“You got it!”

Naruto had already put milk and yogurt in the blender. Now he threw in the chopped up pieces of peach and set about finding the right button.

“Naruto!” Sakura exclaimed. “Don’t forget to secure the - “

Her warning came too late. Naruto turned on the blender and the lid and contents went flying. Kakashi, the three kids and counter were covered in half blended smoothie.

The blonde grinned sheepishly. “Oops.”

“You idiot!” Sasuke yelled.

“It’s even on the ceiling!” Sakura crossed her arms angrily, a piece of peach sliding down her hair.

Kakashi felt that he had a piece of peach sticking to his mask. He grasped it and popped it in his mouth quickly while the kids were distracted.

“Shame,” he said wryly. “It was delicious.”

Amusement circled his soul as the kids turned to stare at him.

“Aww man, every time!” Naruto grumbled, clearly disappointed at once again not catching a glimpse of Kakashi’s face.

“Here, sensei,” Sakura said, handing him a clean towel to wipe the rest of the mess off of him. “Why don’t you go sit down while we clean this up?”

“And then I’ll handle the blending,” Sasuke stated in no uncertain terms, aiming his words at Naruto.

Kakashi chuckled. “All right.” He sat down in his chair in the living room. He had wanted to tell the kids that he could help clean as well, but he had a gut feeling they would argue with him. Knowing them, they would probably take Dr. Akira’s advice to keep his activity level to a minimum quite literally.

And Kakashi won so few arguments when his team ganged up on him.

He sighed (in contentment?) as he watched the three of them clean the kitchen. Naruto had anchored himself to the ceiling, proudly stating that this was a great way to clean and train. But, from the angry looks in Sasuke and Sakura’s eyes, he suspected it was also to keep himself at a safe distance.

One thing was for certain. With them around, Kakashi’s life was never dull.

He realized how grateful he was for them.

The moment, however, was fleeting. Kakashi turned his head, sensing…something. He retrieved the kunai that was under his chair. The kids did not miss his action.

“Kakashi sensei?” Naruto questioned.

He narrowed his eye. “Someone’s here.”

Naruto swung down from the ceiling as Sasuke took charge, all three kids drawing their own kunais.

“Sakura, take the bedroom. Naruto, guard Kakashi, I’ll get the door.”

“Right!” Sakura said, and she went to stand just outside the bedroom door where she was out of sight from the room’s window from an intruder’s standpoint but where she had a clear view.

Sasuke stood in a position that allowed him to not only watch the front door, but the living room window as well. Sharingan activated, it made him ideal to watch two entry points.

Naruto leapt in front of Kakashi protectively, arms crossed with his hands near his shoulders, palms out in a defensive stance, eyes locked on the window.

Kakashi drew his kunai up and in front of his chest. If whoever was out there had ill intent, he wasn’t going to be much help. In this moment, he was quite thankful for the tough training drills he had exposed his students to. Some of the other Jonin Team Leaders had been concerned when they had learned of some of the more advanced and rigorous training Kakashi gave them. But there was no doubt in his mind that without them they never would have survived their last battle. Kakashi was a soldier and had trained his students as such. In his condition, he was far from fighting strength and he knew he would be almost completely dependent on his young genin.

He had full confidence in their ability.

The window opened and a figure jumped in, graceful and swift. Sasuke threw his kunai at the intruder, but a pale hand reached up and caught it easily while in midair. Long auburn hair swirled as the stranger landed and sank to her knees. Naruto gritted his teeth, ready for action.

A pair of green eyes looked up. Kakashi’s eye widened and he could not hold back a gasp of surprise.

An amused smile appeared on the woman’s face.

“Hello, Kakashi. It’s been a long time.”

Chapter Text

Naruto watched as the stranger rose to her full height. She was tall, nearly as tall as Kakashi sensei. Auburn hair cascaded down to her mid-back. Bandages covered her arms from palm to elbow and a sea green sash kept her navy blue tunic secure. A wakizashu sword hung next to her left hip, where a crisscross design of sea green fabric traveled down the matching blue pant leg. She wore no headband, no markers to identify where she was from.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“Kurisutaru!” Kakashi’s voice behind him was shocked.

She smirked at him. “You could tell these brats to stand down, you know?”

Naruto looked back at his sensei, who had lowered his kunai. He gave a nod. Sakura came out from the hall and Sasuke deactivated his Sharingan. They both sheathed their kunais, but Naruto hesitated, only lowering his weapon.

“What are you doing here?” Kakashi asked, a thread of confusion in his voice.

Kurisutaru chuckled. “Eight years pass and not even a hello.” She started to walk towards him, but Naruto dove in front of her, kunai once again at the ready.

“Listen, lady! I don’t know who you are and until I get some answers, I’m not letting you get any closer to Kakashi sensei!”

“ ‘Sensei’?” she repeated. Her eyes twinkled mischievously at Kakashi. “That’s interesting.”

“Naruto,” Kakashi said, “stand aside.”

“No way! Not until she tells us why she’s here!”

Kurisutaru placed a hand on her hip, clearly not threatened by Naruto’s aggressive stance. “Stop being foolish, brat” she said sternly. She looked at Kakashi. “Right now, I need to check the integrity of the current seal.”

“How do you know about that?” Naruto demanded.

She brushed past Naruto, completely ignoring him. She knelt down beside Kakashi and placed her hand over his heart. She closed her eyes. Naruto tensed, expecting Kakashi to have the painful response he had when Dr. Akira had discovered it. But it never came. He only watched her, his lone eye still a little wide from surprise and shock.

Kurisutaru lowered her hand and opened her eyes with a sigh. “This is very serious. The integrity is wavering fast, it won’t last long.” She looked up at him. “Do you trust me?”

Kakashi gave a wry chuckle. “Do I have a choice?”

“Not if you want to live.” The words were grim. “I need at apply a new seal… now. Kneel.”

Naruto felt Sasuke and Sakura come up to each side of him as Kakashi stood, took off his robe, and knelt. Only a slight crinkle above his eye hinted at the pain it caused.

Kurisutaru grabbed his shirt and brought it up in the process of removing it. Naruto felt his heart quicken…this was one of Kakashi sensei’s T shirts that had an attached mask. He leaned forward with anticipation…

…only to have the shirt be removed and reveal that Kakashi had a second mask on underneath.

Naruto gritted his teeth in frustration and heard the disappointed sighs from his teammates. Damn the clever fool, anyway!

Kurisutaru retrieved the kunai from Kakashi’s chair and sliced her right index finger. Once this was done, she began writing seals in blood on his chest, along his back, and down his arms.

When she was finished, she stood behind him, placing her hands in the Hitsuji sign. “This seal will be painful to endure.”

“I’m prepared,” Kakashi said.

The barest hint of a smile touched the corner of Kurisutaru’s lips. “I wasn’t saying that for your benefit.”

“Hmm?” That was when Kakashi looked up. Naruto stared at his teacher, nervous and unsure.

“Kakashi sensei…?” Sakura ventured. It was clear she was feeling uneasy as well. Sasuke was silent, but Naruto could hear his breathing wasn’t as slow as normal.

Kakashi gave them an eye smile. “It’s ok, guys,” he said, his voice gentle but assured. “Trust me.”

Naruto gasped, the memory of Kakashi with the same smile saying those same two words when they first fought Zabuza flashing through his mind. He had stated he would protect them… all of them. That had been significant to Naruto. Kakashi sensei had never excluded him like so many before had.

He knew he could trust him. He gave Kakashi a nod of acknowledgment.

“Kakashi, are you ready?” Kurisutaru asked.

“Yes.”

At that, Kurisutaru’s hands started forming a pattern of signs.

“Inu-Tori-Ushi-Uma-Hitsuji-Tori-Inu-I-Uma-Ushu-Tatsu-Tora-Mi”

As she formed her signs, a yellow chakra encircled her hands.

Sasuke stepped forward as Naruto and Sakura gasped. “Wait! That’s the same chakra that injured him before!”

She looked at the kids. “I will not harm him,” she assured them. Then she slammed her hands down on Kakashi’s shoulders. “Secret Clan Art: Chakra Point Seal!”

The moment her hands made impact, Kakashi’s head jerked back in a horrible scream, his grey eye wide in shock. The seals written on his body climbed up, crept under his mask, and entered his body through his open mouth. Once they were inside, Kurisutaru released his shoulders. Only then did his screaming stop with a choked gasp.

Kakashi’s eye rolled back and he began to fall forwards. Sasuke, being the fastest of the genin, leapt forward and caught him before he hit the floor, holding him. Kakashi gripped his arm, panting as he leaned nearly his entire weight onto Sasuke. Sakura grabbed their sensei’s discarded robe and knelt beside him, draping it over the trembling shoulders.

Naruto looked at Kurisutaru. “That seal…what was it for?”

“To seal off the weakness in his chakra network to keep him from losing any more.”

He turned his gaze to his sensei, who was still quivering and hovering on the edge of unconsciousness as the seal worked within him. “So you… saved his life?”

Kurisutaru sighed, running a hand through her hair. “For now, at least. I could have just prolonged the inevitable. This seal won’t hold forever.”

She walked over to Kakashi, taking his shoulders and gently brought him back to a sitting position before she slipped one arm under his knees and stood. Naruto was amazed with the ease that she commanded lifting the man in her arms. He didn’t even sense her send chakra to assist in her hold. There was no doubt this woman was quite strong.

“He needs to rest,” she said.

“This way,” Sakura said, leading her to the bedroom. Naruto and Sasuke followed.

Kurisutaru laid Kakashi down on his bed and Sakura jumped forward to cover him with his blanket. It was clear he was fighting to stay conscious.

“Sleep, Kakashi,” Kurisutaru commanded him, but her tone bore no harshness. “The seal will take time to fully activate, sleep will help your body acclimate. We’ll talk when you wake.”

Kakashi’s eye drifted shut. Whether it was from Kurisutaru’s words or his body giving in, Naruto couldn’t tell.

Sakura stayed knelt down beside Kakashi’s bed and Naruto was glad she did. This woman… it was clear she and Kakashi knew each other, but they had no idea who she was. He was relieved that he wasn’t the only one who was keeping a protective eye on their sensei.

He looked at Kurisutaru. “So, are you a friend of Kakashi sensei?”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’ve earned the title of friend,” she told him. “But I am an ally.”

“All right, so talk,” Sasuke said, crossing his arms. “How do you know Kakashi?”

Kurisutaru crossed her own arms, leaning against the desk. “Honestly, we met by chance eight years ago.”

“How?” Naruto asked.

She shrugged. “We were both on missions that happened to have the same target. We ended up working together.”

“What kind of mission?”

“Doesn’t matter. Look, I’m not much for socializing. Let’s just wait for Kakashi to wake up, ok?”

Naruto made a sound of frustration and pulled his hands into fists. He wanted answers, but it was clear this woman wasn’t going to provide them.

At least, not yet.

*******

Kakashi opened his eye having no idea how much time had passed. He brought his hand up to rub his temple. He vaguely remembered being carried to his bed… usually he would feel humiliated at such an act, but if he was being honest, he was too tired to care right now. He sat up, hearing Sakura call his name in a questioning manner. He looked and saw that she was sitting on the floor at his bedside. Naruto stood in the middle of the room, his eyes studying him. Sasuke sat in the only chair, arms crossed, an ankle on his knee.

And on the desk, with her legs crossed, sat Kurisutaru.

“Never thought I’d see you again.”

She chuckled. “Well, considering that you’re still alive, I would call that lucky.”

“All right, that’s it!” Naruto suddenly exploded. “I want to know what the hell is going on!” He pointed at Kurisutaru. “Kakashi sensei might know who you are, but you’re a stranger to us! You said it’s been years since you last saw each other and now you show up out of nowhere! And you just happened to know about the seal on him! It doesn’t make sense!”

Kakashi rubbed his pounding head again, wondering if he had the energy to deal with this. “Calm down, Naruto.”

Sasuke turned his chair to face Kakashi, but his glare stayed on Kurisutaru. “For once, he has a point, Kakashi.”

Kakashi sighed and dropped his hand, focusing his gaze on Kurisutaru. “I must admit, I’m at a loss to explain all this.”

Her expression was grim. “Well, this isn’t the first time that particular jutsu has threatened you, Kakashi.”

He felt his eye go wide in shock as Naruto and Sakura gasped. Sasuke only raised an eyebrow. “So, back then…”

“Yeah, back then.”

“So that means you actually know the jutsu that Kakashi was attacked with,” Sasuke deduced.

She gave a single nod. “I do. It was developed by my clan. It is a jutsu known as Widowmaker. Developed many years ago for war, today it is considered forbidden.”

“ ‘Widowmaker’?” Sakura repeated.

“The name fits,” Kakashi said. “Lord Third informed me that it claims the lives of both its caster and its victim.”

“Very true. I had heard rumors that the Third Hokage was well versed in his knowledge of jutsu. Seems they were accurate.”

“The Third also informed me that the two times he saw this jutsu performed, the victims deaths were almost instantaneous.” He felt Sakura’s hands dig into his blanket. He eyed Kurisutaru. “I’m guessing you’re the reason I’m still alive.”

She nodded. “When I realized our enemy possessed that jutsu, I placed two seals on you that had the best chance of ensuring your survival if you were hit.” She crossed her arms. “Looks like my instincts are good after all.”

“Two seals?” Naruto asked. “I thought there was only one.”

“There was,” she said. “The first seal activated once he was attacked. Its function was to fuel the chakra center so he could reproduce a limited amount of chakra and reinforce the pathways. The second activated once his weakened network started to leak chakra.” She looked at Kakashi. “The seal I just placed canceled the old one out. It’s much stronger, but I don’t know how long it will last.”

“I don’t understand,” Sakura said. “How did you know that Kakashi sensei had been attacked?”

“I work some of my chakra into each of my seals,” Kurisutaru explained. “That alerts me when they have been activated.”

Naruto made a sound of frustration at that. “It’s been over two weeks since Kakashi sensei got hurt. If you’ve known that long, how come you’re only just now showing up?”

Kurisutaru glared at him. “Well, forgive me for not being close by,” she snapped at him. “It’s not like I was expecting this to happen after all this time. I might be a seals master, but I’m no ninja. And the only reason I’m here is because I owe Kakashi a debt.”

“Believe me, I am grateful,” Kakashi said before Naruto could erupt again.

Kurisutaru unfolded her legs and let them hang over the edge of the desk. “Since it seems to have worked out in your favor, I am not going to apologize for placing the original seals without your knowledge. As I stated before, this current seal is much stronger, but I don’t know how long it will last or if it will even hold up with my plan. I have a proposition for you.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “And that is?”

Kurisutaru slid off the desk and stood, locking her eyes with his. “I am offering to take you to Kiiroi Tani.”

“What is that?” Sakura wanted to know.

“It is a valley that is sacred to the Aoki clan,” Kakashi explained. “This clan, of which Kurisutaru is descended from, was known for the great knowledge they had of sealing techniques. It is said that all of the seals developed by the clan are hidden there, guarded by a special and powerful herd of horses. Only those belonging to the Aoki clan are ever allowed entrance.”

“You’ll be with me, so your entrance will be granted. Now, let me be very clear,” she said, emphasizing every word. “I have no idea if the effect on your body can be reversed. But if there is a way to do it, Kiiroi Tani is the only place to find it.”

Kakashi gasped and leaned back in surprise as he found himself suddenly swarmed by his genin. Sakura clutched his hand in both of hers, leaning in close. Sasuke stood beside her and Naruto had leapt onto the bed on his hands and knees, his face inches away from Kakashi’s.

“Kakashi sensei, if there’s even a chance, you need to take it,” Sakura told him.

Sasuke stared at him, his raven eyes intense and insistent.

Naruto bounced on his hands. “You gotta do it, Kakashi sensei!”

Kakashi looked at the three of them… the flicker of hope their eyes contained was undeniable. “Doesn’t look like I have much of a choice,” he chuckled, a warm fondness settling over him. He looked at Kurisutaru. “Thank you.”

“All right!” Naruto shouted, pumping a fist in the air. “When do we leave?”

“Now hold on,” Kurisutaru said. “I can’t just waltz out of the Hidden Leaf with Kakashi in tow. He’s still a top level Jonin and as such, is extremely valuable to the village. We’ll need permission from the Hokage for such a journey. Otherwise the ANBU will make it a real short trip.”

Naruto stood on the bed, pulling his hands into fists. “Then what are we waiting for? I’ll take you there now!”

The energetic blonde leapt off the bed and ran out of the room, yelling, “Come on!” over his shoulder. Kakashi sighed, but couldn’t keep an amused smile off his face.

But Kurisutaru made no move to follow Naruto. The boy ran back, placing his hands on the doorframe. “Hey, lady! You coming or what?”

“I have one more warning for you, Kakashi.”

“Oh?”

“It will probably take a week to reach Kiiroi Tani from here. It’s a hard trip. There is a chance, in your weakened state, that you won’t make it.”

That made the fear return to the kids’ faces. The hope they had was dashed in that one statement. Kakashi found himself wishing he could free them of the pain this ordeal was causing them.

But he couldn’t. The only thing he could do was continue to be steadfast for them.

“Well,” he said, in that lazy, casual tone his kids knew so well, “considering the alternative, I think the choice is clear.”

Kurisutaru gave a single nod then turned to follow Naruto out of the room. Sasuke folded his arms across his chest.

“I don’t think the Hokage will deny this.”

“He has to approve it,” Sakura said, her voice trembling. “Kakashi sensei, I don’t want you to — “

“Hey,” he said gently, cutting her off before she could say that word. “It will be all right. No matter what happens. Ok?”

She looked down, her nervous fingers playing in his blanket. She bit her lower lip, silent tears dripping down her cheeks. “Ok,” she said, her voice so small Kakashi barely heard her.

Kakashi felt a piece of his heart break. This right here… this was why he wished they had left him. It shouldn’t matter how he felt, what he wanted. He was causing them pain. That’s not what a sensei was supposed to do.

A sensei was supposed to be strong and capable, a sense of calm in a storm.

Perhaps he had been those things. But now, Kakashi was weak and vulnerable, the cause of the storm that surged around them.

And as much as they should have left him, Kakashi could no longer deny he was glad they hadn’t. He needed them more than he wanted to admit.

Maybe it was the same for them.

So Kakashi did the only thing he could think of, the one thing he had gotten good at over time.

He hid his pain behind a smile.

Chapter Text

“Come on!” Naruto yelled. He kept running up the road, only to find Kurisutaru walking behind him and he’d have to stop and wait for her to catch up. “We’re kinda in a hurry, you know!”

“No,” she corrected him, walking up, “you are in a hurry. Don’t you have any patience?”

He growled in frustration. “But you said that seal you put on Kakashi sensei won’t hold long!”

“Geez, relax, kid! It’s not going to fall apart in the next hour. It’d be stupid of me to propose a week long journey if the seal were that fragile.”

Naruto growled again, his impatience making him feel like he was going to bust. He forced himself to walk. But that didn’t stop his feeling of wanting to get to the Hokage Tower now.

“You got a name, kid?”

“Naruto Uzumaki!”

“Naruto, huh?” She pursed her lips, thinking. “Kind of a weird name.”

“Hey!” he shouted angrily. “That name is gonna be Hokage one day, so watch it!”

“Oh really? I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Well, go ahead and start believing, because I never go back on my word! That’s my ninja way!”

Kurisutaru tilted her head. “Well then, you’d better make sure you only make promises you can keep, otherwise your word will be useless.”

Naruto had finally had it. He leapt in front of her, blocking her path. “Hey, what’s the big idea? Listen, lady, I don’t like you! You’re arrogant and mean! I can’t believe Kakashi sensei is friends with someone like you!”

Kurisutaru put her hands on her hips. “Look, like I said earlier, I’m not a friend, ok? I’m just here to pay a debt to Kakashi. Contrary to what people might think, I am a woman of honor.”

Naruto stared at her, his anger melting. He cocked his head. “You know… for you to have been so far away and still come, what Kakashi sensei did for you must’ve been pretty important.”

Kurisutaru gave a single nod. “He saved the life of someone precious to me.”

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter right now. Look, I thought you were in a hurry to get to the tower. What changed?”

“Oh! Right!”

They made the rest of the trip in silence. But Naruto couldn’t contain his hurry once they reached the steps. He ran up as fast as he could and burst inside, slamming straight into Izumo and Kotetsu. The three of them went tumbling, sending the papers the two adults were both carrying flying.

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” Izumo shouted.

“I’m really sorry,” Naruto said, scrambling to his feet, “but I’ve got to see the Hokage! Where is he?”

“He’s at the missions desk,” Kotetsu said, “but you can’t just — “

“Thanks!” Naruto said, running off, ignoring Izumo’s shouts that he should help them pick up the papers.

He came to the door that lead to the missions desk and opened it shouting, “Old Man Hokage! We need to see you right away!”

“Naruto!” That shout came from one very angry Iruka sensei. “Don’t you have any manners at all?!?”

“But I’ve got to talk to the Hokage now! It’s about Kakashi sensei!”

Kurisutaru rounded the corner, finally entering the room.

Naruto huffed at her, crossing his arms. “ ‘Bout time you actually got here.”

The Hokage sat up straighter and narrowed his eyes. “Kurisutaru Aoki.”

“Huh?” Naruto said in surprise. “Wait, how do you know who she is?”

“We keep an eye on those who live on the edge of the law.” His eyes stayed focused on the woman.

Kurisutaru chuckled humorlessly. “I should have expected that.”

“Wait a second,” Naruto said. He turned to Kurisutaru. “Just what is it you do, anyway?”

The Hokage was the one who answered his question. “She’s a bounty hunter.”

“What?”

“Specifically of forbidden jutsu and clan arts.” He eyed her. “And while all of the ones you have retrieved have been returned safely to their respected lands and clans, you seem to have picked up a few of their skills along the way.”

Kurisutaru shrugged. “Not every scroll stays sealed during the hunt and retrieval process. The mind automatically reads words when it sees them.”

The Hokage grunted disapprovingly.

“Naruto, what does bringing this woman here have to do with Kakashi?” Iruka wanted to know.

“She said she can save his life!”

“Inaccurate,” Kurisutaru said, holding up a hand. “I said there might be a chance.”

Iruka gaped. “What? How?”

“Look, there’s no time to explain it all!” Naruto nearly shouted. “All you need to know is that this is the only chance Kakashi sensei’s got!”

The Hokage took a puff from his pipe. “And what is your reason for coming to me?”

“She needs to take Kakashi sensei to someplace called uh… um…” He looked at Kurisutaru.

“Kiiroi Tani,” she supplied.

The Hokage hummed thoughtfully. “That is quite a journey for one in Kakashi’s fragile condition.”

Naruto grunted in frustration. “He already said he’d go! How can you be doubting this??”

“Because Kakashi is a valued member of this village. As Hokage, I am responsible for the safety of each individual in this village. And I don’t trust outsiders easily.”

“I know you’re unsure if you can trust me,” Kurisutaru said, “but the fact remains that I am the only one who can possibly save Kakashi’s life. If you deny this, you’ll be condemning him to death.”

The Third Hokage laced his fingers in front of his face, elbows resting on the table. After a moment, he spoke. “I cannot allow him to go alone with you. You must take another Leaf shinobi.”

Naruto jumped forward. “Me! I’ll do it! You can count on me, believe it!”

Iruka leapt up so fast his chair fell down. “No, Naruto! This mission is too dangerous! And this woman is a stranger to our village, she could have other intentions!”

Naruto looked at him. “Kakashi sensei trusts her,” he told him. He focused his gaze back to the Hokage. “That’s enough for me. I trust him.”

“This is quite a show of loyalty from one so young,” the Hokage said thoughtfully. He smiled. “This pleases me greatly. Very well, Naruto. This mission goes to you.”

“Lord Hokage!”

“Enough, Iruka.”

“But, Lord Hokage, this mission is far too dangerous for someone as inexperienced as Naruto. Surely there are more qualified shinobi available!”

The Hokage kept his eyes on Naruto. “Yes, it’s true, there are shinobi that have more experience and skill. But those two things are not the only factors to look at when selecting the appropriate individual for a mission. As you well know, Kakashi never passed a genin team until the current Team 7. His expectations are exceedingly high, even by ANBU standards. I trusted his decision with the previous teams and the team who, even now, stays fiercely at his side. That level of loyalty is not easily inspired.”

“Kakashi sensei taught us the importance of teamwork,” Naruto informed him. “That’s why I can never abandon a comrade!”

The Hokage took a puff from his pipe. “Is that so?” There was a small, satisfied grin on his face.

“Sasuke and Sakura should come, too,” Naruto declared.

“No,” Kurisutaru stated firmly. “Some of the territory we need to traverse is quite dangerous. The smaller our party is, the better chance we have of getting to Kiiroi Tani in one piece.”

The Hokage gave a nod of agreement. “I concur.”

Iruka lowered his head, accepting his defeat. He took in a deep breath before looking back up at the boy. “Be careful out there, Naruto.”

Naruto looked at his old teacher, a determined but happy smile on his face. “Kakashi sensei’s put his life on the line for us more than once. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t willing to do the same?”

The Hokage smiled. “Indeed. You truly have matured, Naruto.”

He giggled, lacing his hands behind his head.

Kurisutaru crossed her arms. “Can’t say I’m too thrilled with having a kid on the journey, but I guess it can’t be helped. One thing I will assure you. I will bring Kakashi back to the village… regardless.”

The Hokage’s eyes were grim. “See that you do.”

“All right, when do we leave?” Naruto asked enthusiastically.

“Tomorrow is soon enough,” Kurisutaru said. “It’s too late to get started today.”

The Hokage nodded. “May your journey be safe and successful.”

Naruto gave him a thumbs up. “Don’t worry, old man! We’ll be successful, believe it!”

*******

That night, Kakashi laid in bed, thinking about the day. From Dr. Arkira’s visit to Kurisutaru’s sudden arrival, it had been a long one indeed.

Kurisutaru was staying at Sasuke’s apartment for the night. Naruto had offered his, probably more to challenge Sasuke than to be polite. But Sakura had stated that Sasuke’s apartment was probably a lot cleaner than Naruto’s and that was how the decision was made.

Kakashi knew he should be sleeping, resting up for the journey ahead. But he found himself listening to the kids shuffling quietly in the living room.

“Hey,” Naruto said. “You guys want to play cards?”

“Sure,” Sakura said, but her voice was solemn. She had been more reserved and quiet ever since she had heard Kurisutaru’s warning to Kakashi.

“Fine,” Sasuke said with a sigh and Kakashi felt like he could hear the boy’s eye roll.

“Geez, Sasuke, no one’s twisting your arm to play,” Naruto grumbled.

“Just deal the cards, loser!”

Can’t admit that he actually wants to participate. He needs to learn that having friends is not a weakness.

Oh really? If that’s true for Sasuke, how are you any different? Face it, Kakashi, he’s a lot like you and you know it. Do you want him to end up with the same problems you have?

Kakashi saw the same loneliness in Sasuke that he felt in himself. Naruto was lonely too, but the kid was so unbelievably positive, bright, and happy. Those things did not come naturally to Sasuke or Kakashi.

But more than that, he saw the same darkness. A darkness that had made Kakashi a ruthless ANBU, distant and hard, nearly losing his way.

‘Cold blooded Kakashi’ indeed.

He thought of his young kunoichi next. She was a kind soul and she truly cared about others. She wasn’t the strongest fighter in the group, it was taking her longer to find her true strength, but Kakashi knew that didn’t make her less of a shinobi.

Her curiosity about medical ninjutsu is interesting and if she pursues that path, she will become a rare and valuable asset to any battlefield.

And then there was Naruto. It might not always look like it, but out of the three of them, Kakashi knew that Naruto respected him the most. Naruto craved acceptance and approval, especially Sasuke’s. His fierce determination and drive, partially fed by his lonely life, both inspired and hurt Kakashi. The kid was optimistic with big dreams for his future.

He can be scattered, but when it comes to his dream of being Hokage, he never wavers. If he truly is willing to put in the work, his dream just may come true.

All three had the potential to be very fine shinobi, powerful in their own right. Kakashi wished he could pass on the summoning contract of his hounds to one of them, but there were a couple of problems with that. He couldn’t use the chakra needed to summon the contract and none of his students were hunters or trackers. So, unfortunately, not one of his students was a suitable match for the hounds.

As he listened to the kids quietly playing their card game, Kakashi remembered the day he had met them. When they asked him to tell them about him, he had answered without giving them information beyond his name. He had told them he had never thought about his dreams for the future.

There was a reason Kakashi had never dreamed about his future.

Because the dreams held by Minato sensei, Rin, and Obito had all been dashed by death.

And he, the most damaged and useless of them all, by some cruel act of fate, was the one who still lived.

For years, he hadn’t cared if he died. If you have no hope for the future, you truly have nothing to live for.

But now, Kakashi found that he actually did have a dream for the future.

He wanted to see his genin grow up. He wanted to see what kind of shinobi they would make, the people they would become.

He wanted to see their wedding days…

Kakashi chuckled, chastising himself. It was probably a fool’s dream. He was currently dying, no guarantee that could be reversed. He was late to everything, might as well be late with having a dream, too.

Kakashi had never thought that he would ever be a teacher. Despite Guy’s reassurances, he felt his skills were sorely lacking. When he had first passed Team 7, he had expected to just give them what they needed to know, make sure they got it, and that would be it. He had never expected to look forward to their trainings, worry when they were sick, or laugh at their shenanigans.

Did they know how much he truly cared about them?

It scared him, to care this much. Thus far, life had shown Kakashi it would take away anyone he considered precious. He lived his life by the mantra of never allowing his comrades to die… it was his ninja way, after all. But with these kids, it felt different, held a deeper meaning.

He rose from his bed, wrapping his robe around him. He walked into the living room, seeing the three kids sat around the low table.

Naruto caught sight of him first. “Hey, sensei.”

Sakura looked concerned. “Are we being too loud?”

“No, no,” he assured her, holding his hand up. “I just… can’t sleep.” That was true enough.

“Do you need anything?” Sasuke asked.

“No, I’m just going to read for a while,” he said, picking up one of his Icha Icha books off the bookshelf and then sitting on the couch. “Please, don’t let me interrupt you.”

But as he held the book in his hand, he found himself not reading, but watching his genin. They were playing a simple matching game he knew was called “Go Fish”. He felt warmth rising in his chest.

He couldn’t put into words what these kids meant to him. He could barely admit it to himself, let alone try to find some way to tell them. He’d never had a genin team before… was it normal to have a bond like this?

Thinking of his own attachment to Minato sensei and the tender way the Yellow Flash had cared for his team, he decided that it must be.

“Ha ha! I win!” Naruto exclaimed gleefully as he threw down his last two cards.

“Not again,” Sakura sighed.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, giggling. “Guess you can’t call me a loser now, huh?”

Sasuke crossed his arms. “Moron still fits.”

“Hey!”

Sakura started putting the cards back into a stacked deck. “Seriously, Naruto, how do you win so often?”

Naruto crossed his arms behind his head. “I play a lot with my clones. Not much to do at home.”

Kakashi winced internally at his statement. He knew the kid was alone but…

“Hey, sensei… you all right?”

“Hmm?” Naruto’s voice called him out of his thoughts. “Oh. Yeah, why do you ask?”

“You said you were going to read, but you’ve done nothing but stare at us,” Sasuke pointed out.

Kakashi looked at the book in his hand, realizing that, for once, he had actually forgotten about it. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

There was a pause. “Sensei?”

“Yes, Naruto?”

Another pause. “Do you… um… do you want to play with us?”

Three pairs of eyes studied him as he pondered the question. He felt nervous all of a sudden. He scratched the back of his head. “Well… would it be all right if I did?”

The smile that crossed Naruto’s face could have lit the entire village. “Yeah! Totally!”

Kakashi set his book to the side and lowered himself down. Sasuke took the deck of cards to deal a new round. Sakura looked at her sensei questioningly.

“What is it, Sakura?”

She shuffled nervously, tucking a piece of her long hair behind her ear. “Well… you’ve never played any game with us before, Kakashi sensei.”

He gave what he hoped was a casual shrug. “First time for everything.”

He saw the kids exchange glances among themselves, but they all bore the hint of a smile. So, having him here to play cards was pleasing to them, huh? Who would have known?

Probably everyone except you. Geez, you really are late to everything.

As he watched Sasuke deal the cards, it weighed heavily on Kakashi that this might be the last activity he shared with his entire team.

Kakashi picked up his cards and sighed.

“Bad hand?” Naruto asked, peeking over his cards.

Yeah, life sure has dealt me one. I lose everyone close to me. I’m damaged and useless… I couldn’t save either one of my teammates or my sensei. But, in a strange way, it has led me to where I am now… with you three, who are so like how we were back then. The hole in my heart will never go away, but you three have somehow made it easier to bear.

“I guess it depends on how you look at it,” he said, not even registering what cards he actually held.

“That’s ok,” Naruto told him. “You might find what you’re looking for in the deck.” He threw down a pair from his hand.

“Seriously, you start out with getting a pair again?” Sasuke complained.

Kakashi chuckled as his cards came into focus. “Actually,” he said thoughtfully, “I think I can learn to be ok with the one I have been dealt.” He put down two sets of pairs, leaving only one card left in his hand.

“No way!” Naruto exclaimed.

“Being on the dealer’s right, I believe the game starts with me,” Kakashi said. “Sakura, do you have a three?”

Jade eyes widened as she pulled a card from her hand and gave it to him. “Oh come on,” she said, “I’ve never seen anyone but Naruto win that fast!”

Naruto made a sound of surprise as Kakashi laid down his final pair.

Kakashi chuckled. “Beginner’s luck, perhaps.”

“ ‘Beginner’s luck’?” Sasuke repeated. “You mean you’ve never played this before?”

“Nope.” He couldn’t help but smile at the kids’ shocked faces. “Shall we play another round?”

“My turn to deal now!” Naruto announced as he gathered the cards and began to shuffle them.

Kakashi’s heart swelled in his chest. This was nice, just doing a quiet activity with his team. He should have done more stuff like this with them. He could tell they enjoyed it.

He had to admit there was something comforting in this moment. Right now, he could forget about his weakness, his struggles, the journey ahead. It seemed the kids did as well. They laughed and joked and Kakashi actually felt at ease.

Kakashi played until his eyelids suddenly felt unnaturally heavy. It had been quite a long day and his body was demanding that he go back to sleep now.

The kids noticed and helped him to his feet. Walking to his bedroom was a bit of an adventure, because his brain felt quite hazy and his vision was blurry. His equilibrium was off and he felt himself sway, but was steadied by… someone. Well, for that to happen, the kids must be walking with him. Yes, that must be it, as he felt small but strong hands holding his arms near his elbows. He was grateful to have the support when it was just taking so much effort to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

He felt himself collapse into bed quite gracelessly on his side and was too tired to adjust his position. Did he groan? Probably. His blanket was drawn up to his shoulders, slightly tucked in around him.

“I don’t know why he keeps pushing himself so hard,” he heard Sasuke grumble. But his tone held more concern than anger. “He’s such an idiot.”

A chuckle followed, clearly Naruto. “You’re not kidding. Good thing he has us! But I think we’re pretty lucky to have him, too.”

A gentle hand tucked a few stray hairs behind his ear… definitely Sakura. “Yeah.”

Kakashi drifted off to sleep knowing that he, in fact, was the lucky one.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Kakashi sat on the edge of his bed, watching Sakura skillfully wrap the bandages around his legs and securing his pants to his ankles. It was a task he was more than capable of completing on his own, but the young girl had insisted. So, after some mild protesting, he had relented. He shrugged into his flak vest, zipping it up as Sakura fastened his sandals. The kids had all insisted he travel in his Jonin uniform, as it was made of strong material and best suited for handling the rigors of travel. He slipped on his fingerless gloves, wishing the tremor in his hands would stop.

He felt something press against his forehead. He realized that Sakura was now behind him on the bed, tying his headband securely in place. He wondered where it had gone off to… he actually hadn’t seen it since the day she had taken it off him when he collapsed at the training grounds. He considered telling her he shouldn’t wear it, since he wasn’t a shinobi anymore, but he had a feeling that would anger her. And he did not feel like dealing with angry Sakura right now.

She was being careful to not catch any of his hair as she tied the knot. While he didn’t mind her gentle ministrations, he wondered briefly why she was completing so many tasks for him that he could so easily do himself. It wasn’t like her to be so clingy. But it was harmless and he didn’t know what to say, so he just let it be.

She came around to stand in front of him, adjusting his headband to cover his Sharingan eye. Kakashi gave her a smile and was rewarded with her returning one back to him, but hers was small. She looked so young, not like a ninja, but like the twelve year old girl she was. It seemed the burdens of the world were carried in her eyes.

He felt guilt pool in his stomach, knowing he was the reason why.

Kakashi stood and walked out of his bedroom, Sakura hovering near him so close she could have been his shadow. He saw Sasuke in the living room, placing supplies in a sealing scroll. “Well, that’s a new skill for you,” he noticed, amused.

“Kurisutaru gave it to me yesterday after I took her to my apartment. The seals are simple… even Naruto should be able to do them.”

When there was no angry retort at the insult, Kakashi realized the blonde wasn’t back yet. After breakfast he had dashed off to his apartment to pack for the journey. Sasuke and Sakura had been furious when they’d found out that they could not go. Sakura had stated that the team shouldn’t be broken up and Sasuke thought he was a better choice to go than Naruto. The kids had gotten into a screaming match like no other. Kakashi had needed to enter the fray, stating that they had to obey the Hokage’s command as his reasoning was sound.

“But sensei!” Sakura had protested. “You said we shouldn’t abandon our teammates! So if we stay behind —”

“You are not abandoning anything,” he had reassured her. “You are simply following the rules outlined for this mission. Following the rules is important too, you know.”

His calm demeanor had diffused the situation at that.

Sasuke rolled the scroll and stood, handing it to Kakashi, who slid it into one of the compartments on his vest. “Thanks.”

Sasuke picked up Kakashi’s large backpack that he had already packed and threw it over his shoulder.

“I can carry that,” Kakashi told him.

The raven hair gave him a stern glare so intense Kakashi was actually surprised his Sharingan didn’t activate. Perhaps it was better to let the kid carry the backpack after all.

They shuffled out of the apartment, the air solemn.

When they came to the stairs, Kakashi felt someone take his left hand. He looked to see that it was Sakura. She bent their entwined arms then placed her other hand above his elbow in an assisting hold. She then stared at him intently until he placed his right hand on the rail.

She wants none of your bravado, Kakashi. It’s a long journey, smart to do things in ways that save your strength, not spend it unnecessarily.

So, aided by both the rail and the pink haired girl, he made his way slowly down the stairs. Sasuke was in front and to the side, controlling the speed of their decent, close enough to catch him if he stumbled.

Even though he felt a bit like an old man, his chest felt warm. What kind and clever genin he had. He had to admit, with all the support, his joints hurt less.

As they neared the bottom of the stairs, he saw that Naruto and Kurisutaru were already there waiting.

Naruto put his hands on his hips. “You’re late, sensei!”

Sasuke gave a small smile, crossing his arms. “I guess some things haven’t changed after all.”

Kakashi let his hand fall away from the rail, but Sakura continued to hang onto him. She was gripping him hard, like he would slip away if she let go.

Well, that was actually true.

And that’s when it hit him. Why Sakura was being so clingy and why Sasuke was standing close.

There was a very real possibility this would be the last time they saw him alive.

“Are you ready, Kakashi?” Kurisutaru asked.

“Yeah.”

“Ummm, Kurisutaru?” Sakura ventured hesitantly.

Kakashi looked down at his only female student, but she was pointedly not making eye contact with him.

Kurisutaru turned to her. “Yes?”

“Ummm… Kakashi sensei… well…” She twisted her foot on the path, clearly nervous. “He probably wouldn’t tell you this himself, but he gets tired really easily now. I’m just… concerned with how far you have to travel.”

Kakashi felt a mix of warmth and embarrassment at Sakura’s words. He was touched by her worry for him, but she was right in the fact that he struggled with admitting weakness or needing help.

Kurisutaru actually smiled at the girl. “Well, don’t worry, child, as I have already taken that into consideration.”

She bit her thumb, drawing blood, then raised her hands and made a series of signs:

I-Inu-Tori-Saru-Hitsuji

She knelt and slammed her right hand on the ground. “Summoning Jutsu!”

Poof! Poof! Poof!

When the dust cleared, there were three horses standing before them. The first was a blood bay with a white stripe coming down his beautifully dished face. He stood tall and proud, a warrior ready for anything.

“You summoned, milady?” he asked, his voice deep.

“Yes, Takeshi,” Kurisutaru said. “Myself and a couple of guests need to go to Kiiroi Tani.”

The horse inclined his head. “Of course.”

Standing in the middle, a beautiful black horse with a thick, elegant build, looked at Kakashi with a questioning look in her eye. “Kakashi?” Her voice was calm and flowing, like a gentle brook.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow. “Miyuna? Is that you?”

“Wait! You two know each other?” Naruto asked, dumbfounded.

Miyuna gave a nod. “Kakashi saved my life when I was young.”

Naruto pointed to the horse and looked at Kurisutaru. “Is she the reason you said you’re indebted to Kakashi sensei?”

“Yes.”

“Are we taking all of these brats there?” a gruff voice asked. It belonged to the third equine, a short and stout pony with a gold coat and flaxen mane. “That’s a long way to go and be stuck with a bunch of snot nosed kids!”

“No,” Kurisutaru said. “But Bunta, if you were going to complain… again… why did you answer the summons?”

The pony snorted. “Why do you think? To get away from that nagging wife of mine!”

Kurisutaru rolled her eyes.

“I’m curious,” Sasuke said. “Summons only last for a day at the most, depending on their chakra usage. So how much is this really going to help?”

Kurisutaru chuckled. “Well, I can tell you’re the smart one in the group. Maybe the Hokage should have given this mission to you instead of Naruto.”

“Hey!” Naruto shouted angrily.

Kurisutaru ignored him. “To answer your question, I have a special seal tailor made for the horses. It will allow them to get to Kiiroi Tani.”

With that, she walked up to Bunta, placing a hand on his right hip. A diamond shaped seal appeared and she did the same for the other two horses.

“Bunta, you will carry Naruto.”

The pony huffed. “Which one is that?”

Naruto stepped up. “That’s me!”

Bunta harrumphed. “I didn’t sign up to babysit. Why are you the one coming? You’re the smallest in the bunch.”

Naruto growled. “Hey, watch it! I’m on track to be the greatest ninja the world has ever seen! Believe it!”

He rolled his eyes. “Big talk from such a small fry.”

“Why you —!”

“Naruto, enough,” Kakashi interjected firmly.

“Well, I can see this mission is going to be fun,” Bunta grumbled under his breath.

“That’s enough from you as well,” Kurisutaru barked at him. She turned to Miyuna, her voice resuming its normal tenor. “I thought it appropriate to ask you to carry Kakashi.”

“Of course! It is the least I can do.” She turned to face him, her long mane caressing her shoulder. “I hope you won’t find me rude, but you smell different than when we last met. Are you ill?”

Kakashi smiled, a little shy. “Unfortunately.”

“Ah. So that is why we must take you to Kiiroi Tani.” She looked back at her mistress. “I understand.”

“It is a long journey,” Takeshi said. “We should depart.”

“All right!” Naruto shouted, pumping his fists in the air. “Let’s go!”

The blonde jumped up and landed on Bunta’s back. “Listen here, Kurisutaru said that you need to carry me, which means I’m your master now. So that means you need to listen to everything I say!”

Bunta sucked once on his tongue, then proceeded to give a very large buck, shooting Naruto clean through the air. The kid landed in a heap of limbs.

“Ow…”

Kurisutaru sighed. “Tell me something, Kakashi. Is he always like this?” she asked.

Kakashi grinned sheepishly, bringing his free arm up to scratch the back of his head. “If I said no, would you believe me?”

“Idiot,” Sasuke mumbled.

Takeshi sighed. “This could be troublesome.”

Naruto limped back over, rubbing his sore hip, giving the pony a stink eye. Bunta snickered at him. “That’ll teach you.”

“Enough!” Kurisutaru commanded. “Look, you don’t have to like the kid, but don’t do that again.”

Bunta turned his head away from her with a huff. “You always ruin my fun.”

“I’m done hearing about it. Naruto, mount up, it’s time to go.”

At that statement, Kakashi felt Sakura clutch his hand. “Sensei?”

He looked down at the young kunoichi, seeing tears of sadness and concern in her large eyes. She was trembling. She pulled on his arm. He knelt down obediently so that he was eye level with her, grateful that his mask hid the majority of his wince as his knees protested.

The girl let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck. Kakashi held his breath, feeling Sakura’s heart pound fearfully against his chest. “Please be careful, Kakashi sensei,” she whispered in his ear.

He reached up, gently grasped her upper arms, and extracted himself from her embrace. She backed away, looking at him. He gave her what he hoped came across as a reassuring smile.

He released Sakura and stood, turning his gaze to Sasuke. The Uchiha was looking at him and one had to know the kid really well to be able to see the trepidation in his eyes.

Sasuke said nothing to him. Instead, he shifted his attention to Naruto, who was now sitting on the old pony. He tossed him Kakashi’s backpack, which he caught easily. “Hey, loser! The goal is for Kakashi to not die, so don’t go messing it up, got it?”

The blonde beamed and gave a thumbs up. “Don’t you worry, guys! Kakashi sensei’s coming back just fine, you can count on it! That’s a promise from Naruto Uzumaki!”

He is definitely the eternal optimist. In many ways, Kakashi wished he could share in that same, unrelenting belief that somehow, everything would turn out all right.

Miyuna knelt gracefully, allowing Kakashi to mount more easily. The ever-present chills he felt from his chaka exhaustion lessened slightly as the warmth of the mare’s body surrounded him.

Kurisutaru leapt and landed lightly on Takeshi’s back. “Alright, let’s go.”

Kakashi knew that Sasuke and Sakura were following the procession of riders… keeping the team together until the last possible moment.

He felt both pain and pride at that fact.

He could hear Sakura sniffling.

The horses walked out of the village gate.

“Kakashi sensei!” he heard Sakura cry.

He looked back. His two students stood at the gate, watching them go. Sakura had tears streaming down her face. In an unprecedented show of comfort, Sasuke had placed one hand on her shoulder, eyes locked on their sensei.

Kakashi’s heart felt like an uncomfortable weight in his chest.

Should I say anything to them?

“Goodbye” sounded too final. “It will be all right” sounded like an empty promise. “Take care” sounded too foreboding.

So, Kakashi threw up two fingers in a peace sign with a smile. It was a familiar gesture, one that would hopefully bring them a sense of assurance and calm.

“I want to make good time on this journey,” Kurisutaru said. “Let’s pick up the pace, Takeshi.”

“Right!” he acknowledged and sprang off into a canter.

“Hey kid!” Bunta snapped at Naruto. “Hold on and don’t go bouncing too much, you hear?”

“What?” Naruto exclaimed, but without further explanation or warning, Bunta took off, Naruto yelling as he barely hung on.

“Kakashi,” Miyuna rumbled gently. “Wrap your hands in my mane and lean forward. I will do my best to keep you steady.”

At her words, Kakashi faced back around and obeyed as the horse increased her speed to follow her companions.

The journey to Kiiroi Tani had begun.

Chapter Text

That night, Naruto sat on a thick branch high in a strong tree for his turn at watch, his back resting against the trunk. They were still in territory both Kakashi and Kurisutaru had declared was safe, so the group had lit a small fire to keep the slight chill of the night away. Kakashi and Naruto had placed their bedrolls on opposite sides of the fire. The horses dozed nearby, Kurisutaru sleeping against Takeshi’s shoulder.

It was a super quiet night, save for an owl in the distance and the buzz of content insects. It was peaceful — so much so that it almost didn’t warrant keeping watch.

Their first day of travel had gone without incident. Naruto had kept a protective eye on Kakashi (between his arguments with Bunta) and the Jonin, so far, was handling the travel well.

Or, at least, that was the impression he was giving. He had offered to take a spot for the night watch and both Naruto and Kurisutaru had called him an idiot. Between the two of them and the three horses, there were plenty who could rotate watch.

Naruto knew his sensei wanted to be useful. But it was clear the day had tired him, much as he tried to hide it. He had stepped away from the camp to eat his soup in private, but he took longer to consume it than was normal for him. And once he had returned, he had practically flopped onto his bedroll, falling asleep almost immediately.

Naruto now fully understood the stress that Kakashi’s body was enduring. He remembered Sakura’s explanation when he had asked her about it the night Kakashi had told them he couldn’t use his chakra anymore:

“Naruto, it’s no wonder you got the worst scores at the Academy, you never pay attention! But I’ll explain it in terms you can understand. If Kakashi sensei’s body isn’t regenerating chakra, that means the current amount circulating his body is all he has left. You need chakra like you need blood and air… without it, you would die. Chakra fuels the body, keeps it working properly. Since he doesn’t have enough chakra to keep his body functioning at its peak, it’s only natural that he tires faster. Chakra is very important for the body to function normally… that’s why getting extremely chakra exhausted is so dangerous. It can put a strain on the organs. Worst case scenario, your body shuts down and you die.”

That was when the importance of Kakashi no longer using his chakra had really sunk in. He had been in danger of losing his life from the start.

Naruto suppressed a shudder, banishing that thought from his head. Kakashi sensei was one of the Leaf’s top Jonin, someone who had been instructed by the Fourth Hokage himself! He was super strong, no way he was going to die! Not if Naruto had anything to say about it.

A firefly flew close and he reached out to grab it. He giggled softly as his fist lit up bright yellow. He opened it, revealing the tiny form. It crawled along his palm, blinking its light in a rhythmic pattern.

A strange, choked sound and the shuffle of a blanket reached Naruto’s ears. He looked down and saw that Kakashi’s bedroll was empty.

“Huh?”

He shook his hand to encourage the firefly to flit away, which it obediently did. He looked to his left and saw Kakashi shuffling quickly through the woods.

That’s weird…

Naruto leapt to another branch, following his teacher. He wasn’t quite running, but he was moving quicker than he had seen since he got hurt. But why was he leaving?

Naruto kept following him, jumping to a third branch… fourth… fifth.

This was really strange…

“Hey!” he called out, his worry and curiosity taking over. “Where are you going?”

Kakashi spun around too quickly, falling down on his back. Fear prickling his heart, Naruto leapt down as Kakashi sat up, one hand braced on the ground, the other clutching his chest. His eye was wide and wild, holding a mixture of terror and sadness.

“N-no! St-stay away from me!”

Naruto froze. Kakashi was hyperventilating, sweat prickling on his brow.

Kakashi sensei…

The tremors running through Kakashi’s body were unlike anything Naruto had ever seen. It was clear that he was having quite a severe panic attack. The blonde knew what panic attacks were but he’d never seen anybody have one.

Oh man, this is not good!

That was probably why he had been trying to get away… Kakashi was a very private person and probably hadn’t wanted anyone to see him in this state.

But Naruto couldn’t leave him — not like this! His heart pounded in his chest… seeing the his teacher like this really scared him, but he clenched his fists to keep a hold of himself.

I have to get Kakashi sensei to calm down or he could pass out!

Naruto wanted to approach him, but wasn’t sure it was a good idea. He had no idea what Kakashi would do. From how stiff and defensive he was, he looked like a terrified animal trapped in a corner.

Naruto had rescued so many lost cats that he’d finally learned that jumping them wasn’t the best idea. They were usually scared, so he had discovered that if he just sat down for a minute, most of them would come right to him.

Never thought I’d be glad to have so many D rank missions under my belt!

So he settled down on the grass, facing the trembling man. The redness of his cheek that was visible gave the telltale sign of just how fast his heart was beating. He was really glad that his sensei had left his headband on… in his current state he was clearly not in the right mind to keep that Sharingan eye closed on his own.

Ok, so now what do I do? He really needs help, but I have no idea what to do! What do I do??

…

Wait! That’s it!

“You know,” he said to Kakashi, his voice quiet, “I get nightmares, too.”

That seemed to get Kakashi’s attention a little. He looked up at him, eye narrowing as if he were trying to focus.

“Yeah, I do,” he continued. His confidence growing, he spoke a little louder, but kept his tone light. “Really bad ones… that stupid fox can really mess with my head. I won’t share any details, but sometimes it’s hard to come out of, you know?”

Kakashi continued to pant, but there was a very, very slight softening in his features. Someone else might not have caught it, but Naruto had been around the masked man long enough to be able to read changes in the fabric. He chanced scooting forward a bit.

“I had one once when I fell asleep while hanging out with Iruka sensei. A really scary one, the worst I’ve ever had. I remember I couldn’t stop screaming and it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My chest got all tight, too. Iruka sensei hugged me, which was really nice…” he chuckled, “…but I don’t think you want that, do you, sensei?”

Kakashi was quivering so bad that Naruto almost missed the slight shake of his head. But at least he was communicating.

This just might work!

He scooted forward again.

“Something else he did was he talked to me. Told me to focus on his voice. He had some reason for it,” he continued, scratching the back of his head, “but I don’t remember what he called it. Supposed to help bring you down and stuff.”

“G-grounding,” Kakashi rasped out.

Naruto beamed, scooting even closer. “Yeah, yeah, that’s it! So, would that help you, sensei? Focusing on my voice?”

Kakashi inclined his head, closing his eye. Taking that as a yes, Naruto scooted up more, now sitting directly beside his shaking teacher.

“Ok! So, I remember when we first met and you asked us about our hobbies and I said mine was comparing different types of ramen. So I’ll tell you about that! My favorite type is miso ramen. I think it has the best flavor. I like it with extra pork. When I get it at Ichiraku’s, sometimes Old Man Chef will add extra pork for no charge, and sometimes some extra naruto pieces, too!”

Kakashi’s breaths were slowly becoming deeper.

“I’ll tell you about shoyu ramen next! I know it’s pretty common and all that… probably because it’s so good. I heard somewhere that it was the first ramen ever made, but I’m not completely sure on that. I like the flavor shoyu ramen gives the eggs… I think it makes them tangy!”

The shaking was slowing, the grip on his chest loosening.

“Ok, what’s next? Ummm, oh! Tonkotsu ramen is really good! You know how much I love pork in ramen, so the fact that this one has soup made from pork broth makes it super good! It’s pretty hardy, so I like to eat it in the wintertime, especially when it’s snowing.”

The redness in Kakashi’s cheek was starting to fade.

“Most toppings for ramen are pretty good, but the one I hate is menma. It’s disgusting! Which is saying something because I’m not a picky eater. Well, maybe I am when it comes to eating my vegetables, but I don’t — “

“Naruto.”

His voice wasn’t quite steady and there was still a small tremor coursing through his body, but Kakashi was now looking directly at him. His breathing had returned to an almost normal rate and he was no longer gripping his chest. Naruto stopped his rambling and grinned.

“Hey! You ok?”

A wry but slightly sad smile lightly touched his face. “Yeah.”

Naruto rolled onto his knees, studying his sensei, the smile fading from his features. “Must’ve been some nightmare.”

Kakashi sighed, bringing a hand up to clutch his covered eye. “Part of the price I pay,” he said dully, “for the Sharingan.”

Naruto drew his eyebrows together. “What do you mean?”

Kakashi looked down, closing his eye. “The Sharingan perfectly records everything it sees. Sometimes it… shows me what I’ve done, the mistakes I’ve made.” His voice was tired and far away.

Fear wrapped around Naruto’s heart. “Will that happen to Sasuke?”

Kakashi took a moment to think, dropping his hand away from his face. “Probably not in the same way, since the Sharingan is not foreign to his body. His mind will filter memories more efficiently.”

Relief washed over him. The impact of watching Kakashi suffer through this was really sinking in and he didn’t want the same fate for his best friend.

But I don’t want it for Kakashi sensei, either.

“Naruto,” Kakashi said quietly, shaking the boy out of his thoughts, “I’m… sorry.”

The blonde was confused. “For what?”

Kakashi sighed. “That you… saw me like this.”

Naruto gave him a reassuring smile. “Hey… it’s all right, believe it.”

The silver hair shook his head. “The fact that you were able to hear me leave shows how weak I’ve become.”

Something about that statement really unsettled Naruto.

‘A ninja looks underneath the underneath.’

“Kakashi sensei…” He swallowed. “Are you saying you’ve had a panic attack on a mission with us before?”

Kakashi looked away, shame in the gray orb.

Naruto was shocked. “Wh-when?” he asked quietly. “When did that happen?”

Kakashi didn’t move, didn’t even twitch his eye, but somehow he seemed to shrink. “It doesn’t matter,” he murmured quietly.

Naruto didn’t believe that, but he knew his sensei well enough to know that if he didn’t want to talk about something, he wouldn’t budge. He chewed the inside of his lip, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. Kakashi’s trembling was no longer visible, but he could feel the muscles twitching under his hand.

Kakashi dropped his head and let out a small, humorless chuckle. “I’ve really turned into quite the burden, haven’t I?”

Naruto gave his shoulder a squeeze, wishing his sensei didn’t have such a low opinion of himself. “Never.”

The exhaustion from the panic attack was settling in. Naruto could see how his sensei’s shoulders were starting to sag and his eyelid beginning to droop. He stood. “Hey, we should head back to camp,” he said, reaching a hand out.

Kakashi grasped it and hoisted himself to his feet with a groan. Naruto did not let go as they began their slow trek back. He figured Kakashi didn’t need to hold his hand, but Naruto was a touch-starved kid and he had to admit this whole situation had unnerved him. He took full advantage of his sensei not pushing him away.

Still, there was something that was bothering him.

“Kakashi sensei?” he began, a little timidly.

“Hmm?”

“How, um, how often do you get nightmares like that?”

“Not as much as I used to.”

An answer that’s also not an answer. Guess I should be used to this by now.

“Well,” he pressed on, “when you get attacks like this, what do you do?”

Kakashi looked down at him. A smile was on his face, but it contained no joy, only sadness. “I survive.”

Naruto felt his lower jaw go slack with shock and he looked away. The realization hit him as hard as one of Sasuke’s lightning fast kicks.

“You’re alone, too. Aren’t you, sensei?”

The silver hair didn’t answer.

Naruto squeezed his hand in understanding, and was only mildly surprised to feel Kakashi squeeze back.

Chapter Text

Naruto sat on a large rock, munching on a rice ball. They had stopped for a brief lunch after traveling at a quick pace all morning. Except for the horses pounding hooves, the journey had been silent.

The blonde looked over to where Kakashi sat in the shade of a large tree, leaning against it. After (quickly) downing a ration bar, the silver hair had taken to dozing.

He must still be tired from that episode last night.

The horses were grazing in a small clearing nearby, Kurisutaru keeping watch in a tree. She gave a sharp whistle and all the horses immediately started to come up.

Downing his last bite, Naruto stood and walked over to his teacher. Even though the majority of his face was covered, the kid could still see the exhaustion that clung to him.

Sighing, Naruto knelt beside him. “Sensei?” he inquired quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Kakashi roused, taking in a deep breath of air. Good, he had woken without much prompting. That was normal.

“Time to go?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Naruto told him. He took Kakashi’s arm to help him stand, half expecting to be gently swatted away. But the Jonin accepted his help.

He remembered how Sakura had been helping Kakashi down the stairs yesterday. He wouldn’t have accepted that much assistance unless he had been forced to.

Or, maybe Kakashi was finally learning that even though he needed help right now, none of them looked at him differently for it.

Whatever the reason, Naruto was grateful.

They mounted up and began walking the forest-lined road once again.

Kakashi was unusually quiet. It wasn’t like he was the talkative sort whenever they traveled, but he wasn’t dead silent either. It made Naruto nervous. He kept casting glances to check on his sensei, who was riding on his right, hoping he wasn’t being too obvious.

‘One thing I will assure you. I will bring Kakashi back to the village… regardless.’

He chewed his lip, his fingers fidgeting in Bunta’s mane, as he thought about Kurisutaru’s words to the Hokage. He knew what her words meant. Kakashi had explained it when they were in the Land of Waves:

‘The shinobi’s body contains many secrets: ninjutsu, chakra, special medicines used on his body. These are the secrets of his village. If his enemies find them, his people would be in grave danger. For instance, if I were to die at the hands of an enemy, he would try to analyze my Sharingan. In the worst case, my entire jutsu could be stolen and used against our home village.’

Kurisutaru’s promise meant that she would bring Kakashi back to the village — dead or alive.

The image of Kakashi draped prone and lifeless over Miyuna’s back came unbidden to Naruto’s mind.

He shook his head sharply, willing the image from his mind.

Kakashi sensei was not going to die!

“Hey, would you mind keeping still up there for once?” Bunta complained.

“Oh, pipe down,” Naruto grumbled at him. “I’m not bothering you.”

The pony harrumphed. “Kid, I know when a fly lands on me. You think I can’t feel every little twitch you make? You might be a runt, but you still weigh more than a fly.”

Naruto growled. “Oh, why’d I have to get stuck with a grumpy old geezer like you?”

Bunta shot his head up, eyeing the boy. “I could dump you again, you know.”

“You will not,” Kurisutaru told him. She and Takeshi were on their left.

“But he’s being disrespectful,” the pony complained.

“He’s not wrong about you being a grump, though,” Takeshi told him.

“Oh, go jump off a cliff,” Bunta snapped.

“Only if milady commanded me,” Takeshi told him.

Bunta grunted. “Loyal to a fault describes you perfectly. You are a moron.”

“Enough!” Kurisutaru nearly shouted. “Seriously Bunta, I am this close to banning you from answering the summons.”

“And leave me stuck with my wife?” the pony asked, horrified. “That’s cruel and unusual punishment!”

“Then knock it off!”

Naruto couldn’t help but chuckle. “Is your wife really that bad?”

“You’re too young to really understand,” Bunta told him. “But you will once you have a wife of your own. Trust me, kid, nothing is scarier.”

Miyuna laughed. “Oh, come now, Bunta! Your wife is lovely.”

“Yeah, to you! I just get nagged all the time!”

Naruto giggled. “Is that why you’re still single, Kakashi sensei?” he joked.

Silence.

Naruto looked at his sensei, who was staring ahead, a far off look in his eye.

“Uh… sensei?”

*******

Kakashi couldn’t help but feel embarrassed and ashamed that Naruto had witnessed his panic attack last night.

Not many people were aware that Kakashi got panic attacks. The only one who knew for sure was Guy, but that was only because he had helped him through one once shortly after Rin’s death.

One thing Kakashi was good at was keeping his private life just that… private.

He had lost some of that when he got hit with the Widowmaker jutsu and the kids had moved in.

He couldn’t help but feel contentment as he thought of the young genin. While living with him was technically intrusive, the kids had done an excellent job of giving him his privacy and independence as much as possible. They had been protective and supportive. Never once had they coddled him, had never looked at him with pity.

And last night, the same held true for Naruto witnessing his attack. All the kid had wanted to do was to help. It was heartwarming, but Kakashi still felt like a burden, despite Naruto’s reassurance.

His thoughts drifted to the last panic attack he had. It hadn’t been that long ago, when they were in the Land of Waves…

Kakashi checked on the kids during the middle of the night. The moon gave the room a pale glow. The kids were all sleeping soundly. The scene was so peaceful.

The nagging feeling that Zabuza was still alive clawed at Kakashi’s soul. And that kid… if he was an ally to the rouge ninja, that could be a real problem. They did not know his abilities, but with his accuracy of those senbon, he was certainly not lacking in skill.

He had been so proud of his clever genin to spring him from Zabuza’s water prison, but the assassin was cunning. His kids probably wouldn’t be able to get the upper hand on him again.

And his last battle with the elite rogue ninja had exhausted him to the point of taking him out of commission for a week.

His heart started pound and his vision blurred.

He closed the door soundlessly, realizing in horror what was coming as his breathing became short and irregular.

Relying on his ANBU training, Kakashi was able to slip into the nearby woods unnoticed in order to ride out the attack.

He dropped to his hands and knees, panting. His eye squeezed shut as his fingernails clawed the dirt.

He still wasn’t in his top form and he was sure they were going to run into Zabuza again. Kakashi was not in the habit of letting his comrades die, but that promise carried so much more weight with the children. Too young and outmatched for an opponent like this.

Would they survive a second encounter?

Would Kakashi be able to keep his promise?

Or would he watch his teammates die for a second time?

His mind, cruel in its ruthlessness, showed him images of his genin, bleeding and lying dead before him. Their fate if he failed again.

He wrenched his mask down as he proceeded to be sick on the forest floor. Stomach now empty of his dinner, he began to feel dizzy. Spots danced at the edge of his vision.

He punched a fist into the ground. He needed to get it together. He couldn’t pass out!

He couldn’t fail his team again.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura… he would ensure they lived! He would NOT allow them to become more fodder for his nightmares.

He forced himself to deepen and slow his breathing. It felt like an eternity, but only minutes passed as his heart rate decreased.

He made a short series of hand signs, burying his sick deep underground. Slowly, he stood and moved out of the forest to the water’s edge. Kneeling, he dipped his hands in the cool water, rinsing his mouth and cleansing the sweat off his face.

He replaced his mask and headed back to the house, slipping inside unnoticed. No one would ever know he had faltered… he had buried the evidence and the chakra signatures in the house confirmed all were still asleep. He laid down on the tatami mat, forcing his remaining tremors to still.

Tonight he had been weak.

But tomorrow, he vowed he would be strong.

…

“Kakashi?”

He blinked, vaguely realizing that was not the first time the mare had called his name. “Oh. Sorry, Miyuna.”

She turned her head slightly, placing one of her large eyes on him. “Are you alright? I felt your muscles tense.”

“Yeah,” he said, forcing his muscles to relax again.

“I think your student is worried about you.”

Kakashi looked up to see Naruto staring directly at him, no longer trying to be discreet. He felt himself flush, embarrassed that he had let himself get so distracted with his thoughts.

“Kakashi sensei?”

“Hmmm?”

“Would you… would you tell me the story of how you and Kurisutaru met?”

“There’s actually not much to tell,” he said with a half shrug.

Kurisutaru harrumphed. “Says you. There’s a bit more to it than that.”

“Really?” Naruto asked excitedly.

“For me, it was a classified ANBU mission,” Kakashi said, eyeing Kurisutaru. “Legally, there’s not much detail I can share.”

She shrugged casually. “I’m not bound by those same rules.”

Kakashi narrowed his eye. “Do you not have any respect for the law?”

She laughed. “Only the ones that could get me arrested. Other than that, I play by my own rules.”

“That actually sounds really cool!” Naruto said with a smile.

“It’s no way of life for a shinobi,” Kakashi told him, hoping he would catch the warning in his voice.

“Wait, that’s right!” Naruto turned to Kurisutaru. “You said you’re not a ninja. But you have a summoning jutsu. I thought only ninja could do that, so why do you have one?”

“Ordinarily, you would be correct that only ninja have summoning,” she answered. “But my clan is specially bonded to the herd of horses that guard Kiiroi Tani.”

Naruto looked confused. “I don’t get it. What do you mean?”

“The Aoki clan also has an extraordinary amount of chakra,” Kakashi supplied. “Some have become ninja, but because of their immense chakra stores, many civilians in the clan can use basic jutsu without much formal training.”

“What kind of jutsu?”

“Sealing,” Kurisutaru answered. “Most of the time it’s used for domestic tasks like making a protective barrier to ensure crops grow, sealing off an infection… things of that nature.”

Naruto beamed. “That sounds awesome! So, does your clan live in Kiiroi Tani?”

Kurisutaru chewed the inside of her lip. “We used to.”

Naruto stared at her. “What do you mean by that?”

Bunta snorted. “Do you honestly have to ask so many questions?”

Naruto put his hands on his hips. “Do you honestly have to be so rude all the time?”

“The Aoki, while being a peaceful clan, was feared by many,” Kakashi said, ignoring the spat between Naruto and Bunta. “The amount of chakra they held as a unit was more than most. They were attacked many years ago by clans who banded together, afraid of the Aoki clan using their chakra for evil gain. In order to keep their jutsu safe and keep peace, the clan split up and fled Kiiroi Tani, leaving it in the herd’s trust. Now the clan is scattered across the lands, several even abandoning the Aoki name.”

“Oh.” Kakashi watched as Naruto lowered his head. “That’s too bad.”

“That is why we leave our jutsus under the guard of the herd,” Kurisutaru said. “There is a lot there and, while we would never use it for ill intent, there is no guarantee that someone else won’t.”

There was a moment of silence. Then Naruto looked at Kurisutaru. “Is that why you became a bounty hunter for jutsus? So that they don’t fall in the wrong hands?”

“Partly.” Kurisutaru chuckled. “Not a bad observation, kid.”

“This is also why so few outsiders have ever been to Kiiroi Tani,” Kakashi said. “They fiercely protect their jutsu.”

“Now I’m curious,” Naruto said, looking at Kurisutaru. “Are we the only ones you’ve ever taken to Kiiroi Tani?”

“No,” she said. “I brought one other when I was about your age.”

“Who was it?”

Kurisutaru looked him dead in the eye.

“The Fourth Hokage.”

Naruto leapt up, standing on Bunta’s back.

“WHAT?”

Chapter Text

Kakashi had to admit, he was as surprised at Kurisutaru’s revelation as Naruto was. But he kept his shock to himself.

Without warning, Bunta planted his feet and sat down on his haunches. Naruto screamed as he fell to the ground. He landed with a thud, Bunta looking at him over his shoulder in aggravation.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?” Naruto demanded, pumping a fist in the air.

“I told you to be still and you didn’t listen.” Bunta shrugged. “So, now you face the consequences.”

“Kurisutaru, Bunta dumped me again!” the boy tattled.

She shrugged. “This time I actually side with Bunta. You shouldn’t have stood on his back, he’s not as young as he once was.”

Bunta stood and dusted off his hind end with a flick of his tail, snickering. “You can walk on your own for a while as punishment.”

Naruto growled. “This sucks.” But the kid leapt to his feet and matched speed with Takeshi, looking up at Kurisutaru. “So, you really took the Fourth Hokage to Kiiroi Tani? For real?”

“Yes. I don’t lie, kid.”

Naruto’s eyes lit up. “That’s so cool! He’s my hero! He’s the strongest Hokage and he saved the whole village! And you knew him!” He giggled as he grinned wildly. “Can you tell me about him?”

“Kakashi, wasn’t he your sensei?” Kurisutaru asked. “Surely you can amuse the boy with tales of the Fourth?”

Before he could speak, Naruto interjected. “Oh, Kakashi sensei doesn’t really talk about the past.”

“He doesn’t?”

Kakashi looked away before he could meet Kurisutaru’s judgmental gaze.

“Hmmm. Ok, well, I guess I can start off by saying that none of the stories you hear about his kindness are exaggerated. He was definitely the kindest soul I have known, second only to Miyuna. He always put others ahead of himself. He was incredibly wise but slightly childish, a quality that kept him quite likable. I know he had a wife who was expecting, but I don’t know if the child is living. He is definitely someone I admired and respected. The last time I saw him was when he left Kiiroi Tani.”

“Why did you bring him?”

“As I’m sure you’re aware, Lord Fourth was a seals master. He requested access. I was only about twelve at the time, but I understood his reasons.”

“And what reasons were those?”

“They aren’t important now. He wanted to go back, which I would have been happy to do, but unfortunately he died a couple months later.”

At her words, Kakashi suddenly knew when Minato sensei had been to Kiiroi Tani.

A memory came drifting over his consciousness…

Kakashi sat out of sight near Minato sensei’s apartment, just underneath the balcony. He took his assignment to guard Kushina very seriously, especially now, knowing that Minato sensei was currently out of the village and had been for the past two weeks. He hid in the shade, a dark cloak obscuring him from view.

It was the middle of August and an uncharacteristically hot day. The sweat poured off him and it was stuffy inside the porcelain mask. The air was still and heavy, pushing down on him with an invisible force.

But Kakashi didn’t complain. He was a shinobi.

It was really hot, though.

Kushina came out onto the balcony. She was in her seventh month of pregnancy and Kakashi noticed her bump was much larger now.

She walked over to stand near the ledge. “Kakashi.”

“It’s Hound,” he corrected harshly. A cunning shinobi in her own right who knew her husband well, Kushina had figured out Kakashi was guarding her very early on.

Kushina rolled her eyes. “Hound then. Are you ok out here?”

“Of course.” He was an ANBU, hand picked by the Fourth Hokage. He could handle a little discomfort.

“I highly doubt that. It’s a real scorcher today and you’re in that heavy cloak, you know. Do you need water or anything?”

“I need to complete my mission. That’s all.”

He just wanted her to go away. He didn’t want to talk. The heat was hard enough to handle and he was fighting a huge migraine.

She pursed her lips. “You don’t look good, Kaka… I mean, Hound.”

“I’m fine.” How could she even tell beneath the ANBU mask and cloak?

“No, you’re not.”

Kakashi sighed heavily. He wanted to be left alone. This was nothing he couldn’t handle.

“Come inside. You need to cool down and get some water, you know.”

“I’m fine,” he repeated more tersely.

Kushina’s eyes burned and she started to shake in anger. “Listen, brat, you’re not fine, no matter how much you try to convince yourself, you know! Now, come in willingly or I’ll make you come in! Which is it gonna be?”

Kakashi gulped. It probably would not be a good idea to anger the Red Hot Habanero, especially in her condition. So, he stepped forward…

… and nearly fell off the ledge as a wave of dizziness swept over him. Kushina reached out, grabbing his hand just in time. She heaved him onto the balcony and he was embarrassed to stumble.

What the hell was wrong with him?

“Hey, take it easy,” she said softly as she encouraged him to lean against her.

He was barely aware of what happened next, too distracted by his panting and the ringing in his ears. He shuffled next to Kushina, who ripped off the cloak, ANBU mask, and headband, then guided him to her couch. He didn’t want to lay down, but he was too weak to resist. The room spun in circles and he closed his eyes against it.

Kushina left his side but was back minutes later with a large bowl of water and several cloths. She unceremoniously lifted his shirt and pulled it off, taking the attached mask with it and exposing his face.

“Sorry, Kakashi,” he heard her say, “but we need to get you cooled down quickly, you know. Your body’s really overheated.”

Kakashi heard her wring out one of the cool cloths, then felt it placed on his forehead. Another one came onto his neck and the third was dragged across his body and arms, wiping away the sweat.

Kushina left again and Kakashi tried and failed to slow his heavy breathing. His body felt weighted down and useless.

Kushina returned and she pushed a straw in front of his mouth.

“Drink,” she commanded gently. “Small sips.”

He obeyed, identifying the liquid as some type of electrolyte drink. It hit his nauseous stomach hard and he squirmed, trying desperately to keep the churning bile down.

He was truly pathetic.

“Just relax for now,” Kushina’s soothing voice said. “You’re pretty sick right now, you know.”

“I’m fine,” he rasped out.

Kushina chuckled. “You really are as prickly as everyone says, aren’t you?”

“I… need to stay on mission,” he said, trying to sit up.

Kushina pushed him back down gently. “Look, you can’t do anything when you’re on the verge of collapse. It’s a record temperature outside, everyone is staying indoors. And we’re in the safest part of the village. Just relax a little for now, ok, honey?”

At that moment, the door opened and a familiar voice said, “I’m home!”

Kakashi jumped up, all of the cloths falling to the floor. “Minato sensei!”

His body didn’t appreciate the sudden movement. Weakness overtook him and his knees buckled.

Right then, Minato proved once again why he was called the Yellow Flash. Kakashi found himself held bridal style in his sensei’s arms, trembling as he panted.

“Kakashi!” Minato exclaimed. “What’s wrong? Are you all right?”

“Of course he’s not all right,” Kushina growled angrily. “He was stuck out in the heat and nearly collapsed from it. And would have too, had I not gone out there, you know!”

Kakashi felt himself being settled back on the couch, a tender and familiar hand on his shoulder. He opened his eye, seeing Minato leaning over him. “Oh, Kakashi, I’m sorry. You should have been given some relief during this time. Please, forgive me.”

“S-sensei…” he started to say, but stopped when Minato picked up one of the cool rags and placed it against his cheek.

“Shhhh. Deep breaths for me, Kakashi.”

Kakashi did his best to obey.

“Make sure he drinks some more of this,” Kushina said, handing him the bottle.

“Thanks. Here,” he said, presenting it to Kakashi.

He leaned forward and managed a few more sips. He sank back into the couch, his eyelids heavy.

“Sleep if you want, Kakashi. I’ll be right here.”

Kakashi had no intention of falling asleep, but when he opened his eye, he could tell the sun was setting. He had been asleep for hours. He looked and saw that Minato was still sitting beside him as he had promised.

The Hokage smiled. “You look like you’re feeling better.”

Kakashi sat up, swinging his legs to the ground. Minato handed him the bottle. “You should keep drinking this.”

“Thank you.” He took a few more swallows. He was feeling better… he was actually almost chilly without his shirt. He saw it on the table and reached out, picking it up and shrugging back into it. He took a few more sips from the straw, then replaced his mask.

“All right, boys, dinner’s ready!” Kushina announced, stepping out of the kitchen.

Kakashi stood. “I should go now.”

Minato stood as well, smiling at him. “Nonsense, Kakashi. You’re having dinner with us tonight.”

“I shouldn’t intrude…”

“Kakashi,” Kushina said, walking over, “I worry about you. You might be a Jonin, but you’re still only thirteen. And you’re awfully thin… are you sure you’re eating enough? Or do you only eat enough to get by?”

“I eat enough.” He could respond that way and technically not be lying with either question. Eating was hard sometimes, especially when he had days where even breathing seemed near impossible.

She pursed her lips. “I don’t believe you. Call it mothering instincts or whatever, I’m feeding you tonight, you know.”

“But—”

Kushina’s eyes flared.

“I wouldn’t argue with her, Kakashi,” Minato said with a wink.

Kakashi figured Minato knew best. He looked at Kushina. “Thank you.”

She smiled at him. “Come on, it’s all on the table. You sit beside me, ok?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He followed them to the table and sat down. He normally ate quite quickly in front of others so that he could replace his mask as soon as possible, but he had spent the majority of the afternoon sleeping on their couch, maskless. So, he let it down.

Kushina looked at him, smiling. She cupped his face in one hand. “Eat as much as you want, ok, honey?”

Kakashi had never known the love of a mother. Was this what it was like?

That night, Kakashi found it easy to eat nearly twice what he would have normally, seeing the smile it brought to Kushina’s face. And he knew if she was pleased, so was Minato sensei.

After dinner, he dried all the dishes after Kushina washed them. He then handed them to Minato, who put them away. When they were almost done, Kushina turned to him.

“Kakashi, I want you to stay here tonight.”

“What?”

“You got pretty sick earlier today. I want to keep an eye on you, make sure you’re ok.”

“That’s not necessary. I’m fine.”

“Well, all the same, I just want to make sure, you know.”

“Really, I’ve already inconvenienced you enough—”

Her eyes turned hot and her hair flamed. “Did I say you were an inconvenience?”

Kakashi gasped, nearly dropping the plate he held in his hand. “Uh, no, ma’am!”

She smiled at him, immediately calming. “Then you’re not, ok?”

“O-ok…”

Minato laughed. “Maybe now you’ll remember never to argue with her!”

“Yes, sir.”

Red Hot Habanero indeed.

Later that evening, Minato sensei was placing a blanket on the couch. “Sorry we don’t have a bed for you… I’m afraid the guest room has already been turned into the nursery.”

“It’s more than enough, sensei, thank you.”

He sat down on the couch. Kushina walked up to him, cupping his masked cheek again. “If you need anything come and get us, ok, honey?”

“I will.” He wouldn’t need anything, but the offer was nice.

She smiled at him. “Good night, Kakashi.”

…

Kakashi came back to himself when he felt the wind pick up and rustle his hair. He blinked, noticing that Naruto was now back atop Bunta.

How much time had passed?

He honestly couldn’t say. It wasn’t like him to get so lost in his memories in this way around others… he kept them hidden away, as they served no useful purpose, only reminded him of what he had lost.

Naruto was chattering in his usual way whenever they went on long journeys. It was amazing how much someone could talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

Kurisutaru and Takeshi were basically ignoring him. Bunta grunted and grumbled under his breath about the absurd topics. But Miyuna was pleasantly curious about everything Naruto was talking about, asking questions and making polite comments.

“So, you usually celebrate birthdays with a cake? And presents?”

How did the conversation get to talking about birthdays of all things?

Naruto grinned. “Yeah! Usually other people give you gifts, but I live by myself, so I always treat myself to something extra special. There’s always some limited edition flavored instant ramen somewhere, and I always find it!”

Miyuna chuckled. “You seem quite fond of this… ramen.”

Kakashi had spent the majority of his childhood alone, so he knew better than most the loneliness Naruto felt. He hadn’t given the same care to his own birthdays, though…

Kakashi hurried up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him. He had been urgently summoned to Minato sensei’s apartment. Was something wrong with Kushina or the baby?

He reached the door, heart pounding against his breastbone. He took a deep breath to steady himself then knocked.

It was only a moment before Minato himself answered the door. “Ah, Kakashi! Good, you got here quickly.”

“Yes, sir,” he said. “Is anything wrong?”

Minato smiled at him. “Not at all.”

Kakashi narrowed his eye. “I don’t understand. The summoning I received said the matter was urgent.”

“It is.”

Kakashi drew his eyebrows together. “I don’t—”

Minato’s smile grew and he opened the door wider. “Please, come in, Kakashi.”

Kakashi stepped in, genuinely confused. He looked back at Minato, who had closed the door, still smiling.

“Go to the table.”

Kakashi walked around the small corner and stopped dead in his tracks.

The table had three place settings, each with his favorite dish of eggplant miso. A strawberry shortcake sat in the middle. And Kushina stood there, her hands on her swollen stomach, beaming.

“Happy Birthday, Kakashi!”

Kakashi gasped. “Wh-what?”

Minato walked up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder and laughed. “Well, it is September 15th, right?”

Kushina giggled. “We weren’t going to let your birthday slip by without celebrating it, silly!”

Kakashi felt frozen. He hadn’t celebrated or even acknowledged his birthday since before his father died. And the fact that Minato sensei and Kushina not only knew when his birthday was, but wanted to celebrate it…

“Let’s go ahead and eat before it gets cold,” Minato said.

“Uh… right,” Kakashi said, completely overwhelmed.

They sat down to eat and Kakashi lowered his mask. Minato sensei and Kushina were the only ones he felt comfortable doing it with. Kushina sat beside him and Minato sensei across from him.

Kushina beamed at him. “Well, go ahead and eat, you know!”

The unexpected dinner was exceptionally good. And even though he didn’t like sweets, he made himself eat every bite of the large slice of cake Kushina cut for him.

“Thank you,” he told them, putting his mask back into place.

Minato smiled at him. “Well, we’re not quite finished yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you go up the stairs?”

Minato sensei and Kushina’s apartment was unique in the sense that it had a small upstairs loft area. Kakashi had no idea why they would want him to go up there. He looked at Kushina, who shooed him with her hands. “Go on, up you get!”

So he obeyed. He got up from the table, climbed the stairs, and…

…stopped in his tracks.

The small sitting area they had decorated this space to be was no more. Instead there was a bed with a green, shuriken patterned blanket on it, a small dresser, and an end table that had a frame of Team Minato.

“What…?”

He turned to see Minato sensei and Kushina standing at the top of the steps, both smiling at him.

“Do you like your gift?” Kushina asked him.

“I… don’t understand,” he confessed, his heart hammering in his chest.

“We want you to know that you’re always welcome here, Kakashi,” Minato told him.

“Consider it your home away from home,” Kushina said with a grin.

Kakashi just stood there, feeling completely dumbfounded. Kushina wrapped him in a hug as she chuckled and Minato sensei placed a secure hand on his shoulder.

Kakashi wondered if he actually had a family again.

…

“Sensei, you should eat something.”

Pulled from his memories once more, Kakashi noticed that apparently they had stopped for the night. He didn’t even remember dismounting Miyuna.

“That’s ok, Naruto, I’m not really hungry.”

The blonde apparently wasn’t taking that for an answer. He walked over, handing him a rice ball. “Look, it’s not good if you stop eating, you know. Even if it’s only something small, you should put something in your stomach.”

Kakashi looked up at him, noticing his smile was so much like his mother’s that it made his heart hurt. He accepted the food and downed it quickly, keeping his face well hidden. Naruto’s grin grew wider.

Kakashi’s heart, already shattered by the loss and tragedy in his life, broke again.

He should have been there for this kid. But instead, he had chosen to run away…

“I see.”

Kakashi remained at attention. Lord Third studied him, looking for any reaction. After all, he had just been informed of Minato sensei and Kushina’s deaths.

But Kakashi was a good soldier. A soldier stayed at attention, nonreactive and unmoving, no matter what he was told.

Kakashi had already lost his father, Obito, and Rin. Now that Minato sensei was gone too it almost made sense. Life has always been cruel to Kakashi, there was no reason fate would change its mind for the last Hatake and allow him to have a little bit of happiness in his life.

“Kakashi,” Lord Third started, “I know that Lord Fourth was precious to you. I’m sorry for—”

“We will mourn later,” Kakashi interrupted him. He didn’t need sympathy. “The stabilization of the village is priority.”

“Hmm,” he hummed. “You’re right, of course.” He straightened. “I need you to go to the southern boarder. It won’t be long before news of this attack gets out and our enemies may try to take advantage during our weakness.”

“No one will get past me, sir,” Kakashi assured him, putting his mask in place.

“Of that I have no doubt.”

On that note, he turned to leave. He got to the door and placed his hand on the knob.

“Kakashi.”

He stopped, but he didn’t turn around.

“Minato and Kushina’s son is alive. His name is Naruto. Since you were close to the family, I wonder if you would like to see him before you leave?”

Kakashi’s stomach clenched as he tightened his hold on the knob. But his voice was deep and steady when he said, “No.”

Lord Third sighed. “Very well. Depart for your mission at once.”

“Yes, sir.”

Kakashi left the room. Was Lord Third disappointed in him? He didn’t much care if he was or not.

He just needed to get away.

As Kakashi ran, no tears fell down his face. He had already lost so much in short life that he no longer had tears to shed. His heart hung heavy in his chest, like a lead weight threatening to drag him down, but he pushed through. He was a good shinobi, he would endure.

He obviously wasn’t meant to have meaningful people in his life.

Shame and suicide had claimed his father.

A rescue mission gone wrong had crushed Obito.

His own hand had burst Rin’s heart.

And now the Nine Tailed Fox had taken his sensei.

Was he being a coward for not facing Naruto, not being there for him?

Or was he saving his life by not letting him get too close, since death clung to Kakashi like a leech?

He didn’t know and, honestly, he didn’t care. At this point, he didn’t even care if he lived or died.

Kakashi had nothing to live for anymore.

He would be a tool to protect the village. At least he was good at that.

Tools didn’t have feelings. Tools got the job done.

As Kakashi ran, he locked away his heart and the feelings of brokenness along with it.

Those were things a tool didn’t need.

…

“Kakashi sensei?”

“Hmm? What is it, Naruto?”

“Are you ok? You’ve been really spaced out today.”

Kakashi forced himself to smile at the boy. “Oh, sorry about that. Guess I’m just tired.”

“This trip is probably taking a lot out of you. Maybe you should go ahead and call it a night. Especially since last night you… uh…”

Naruto trailed off. They were sat alone, but Naruto knew that Kakashi wanted to keep his panic attack private.

“Before I do…” He turned to look at him. “Naruto, I need to apologize to you.”

“Huh?” The boy looked up at him, confused. “About what?”

Of the fact that you were left alone. Of the fact that I basically abandoned you. Of the fact that Minato sensei and Kushina would be heartbroken if they knew how I deserted you, especially after all they did for me.

Kakashi bit his lip, knowing he could say none of that. “I… should have been more aware of your… circumstances.”

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. “I have no idea what you mean, sensei.”

“A few days ago you expressed… concern about your rent with your lack of missions.”

It’s not enough of an apology to you, but it’s all I have right now.

“Yeah… what about it?”

Kakashi looked at him. “That’s not something you should be worried about. In the future, please come to me if you’re in need.”

“Provided I survive this” was left unsaid.

The blonde laughed. “Oh, it’s really no big deal.”

Kakashi sighed. “Still, it was an oversight on my part. You should be able to come to me for anything you need. I should have made sure you knew about that.”

Naruto chuckled. “Hey, sensei, you shouldn’t feel bad about that at all. I always make it work, believe it.”

Kakashi smiled at him. “I have no doubt of your ability to be resourceful. But the offer always stands, ok?”

Naruto grinned at him. “Thanks, sensei.”

Kakashi crawled into his bedroll. He could never make up for the years he missed of Naruto’s life, but as long as he lived, he wouldn’t miss any more.

Chapter Text

It had only been a half day for the students at the Academy. As such, Iruka was heading home early. He adjusted the small pack on his back. He was grateful for the half day, as he had a ton of papers to grade from the week’s work. And since it was Friday, the extra time today, plus the weekend, would be more than enough for him to get it all done without having to stay up late like he usually did.

A few citizens and some fellow shinobi said words of greeting as he passed and he smiled and greeted each one back. He knew a lot of people in the village… being a teacher introduced him to more people than many other jobs.

He looked up and saw two familiar faces walking towards him. He waved at them.

“Hey, Sakura! Hey, Sasuke!”

“Oh, hello Iruka sensei,” Sakura greeted politely.

“Hey,” Sasuke said in his normal, distant way.

Iruka smiled at them. They had only graduated from the Academy a few months ago and they had already grown so much. “It’s been a while. How have you been?”

Sakura gave a small smile, but it didn’t hide her sadness. “Alright, I guess.”

Iruka’s heart sank a little. “Naruto and Kakashi left a few days ago, didn’t they?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke said.

Sakura brought a closed fist in front of her chest. “I’ve been so worried. We have no way to know how Kakashi sensei is doing. We may never…”

She trailed off, tears rimming her eyes. Iruka understood.

They don’t know if they will ever see Kakashi again.

Team 7 was currently broken and there was no way to know if it would ever be whole again.

Was there anything he could do to help them?

Well, there was one thing that (almost) always cheered Naruto up when he was upset…

“I was actually just about to go grab some lunch at Ichiraku,” he said. “Would you two care to join me?”

“Thank you,” Sakura said, “but we couldn’t intrude.”

“It’s not an intrusion at all!” He smiled at them, giving them a thumbs up. “C’mon, it’ll be my treat.”

Sakura looked at Sasuke, who was staring at some far off point, seemingly lost in thought. But he said, “Fine.”

Sakura looked back at Iruka. “Thank you, sensei.”

“Not at all! Let’s go.”

It was a short walk to Ichiraku. As they waited for their food, it was not lost on Iruka how heavy this situation was laying on the kids. Sakura was usually bright, happy, and always trying to get Sasuke’s attention. But now she was quiet and sad.

Sasuke’s silence and brooding nature was nothing new, the boy never spoke if he didn’t want to. But there was something different in his gaze, something far away.

“So, how are you two doing?” he asked them. “Are you keeping up with your training?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke answered simply.

“I’ve been trying my best,” Sakura told him, “but I’m finding it hard to focus right now.”

“I think that’s understandable, given the circumstances,” Iruka said gently.

The chef turned around, placing the steaming hot bowls of fresh made ramen in front of them.

“Thanks for waiting! Please, enjoy!”

The three all said a quick “ltadakimasu!” and split their chopsticks. But Iruka noticed after a few bites that Sasuke wasn’t eating.

“Something on your mind, Sasuke?”

“Yeah, actually, there is,” he said, crossing his arms.

Iruka leaned forward on his elbows. “What is it?”

“The jutsu that Kakashi was attacked with claims the life of the caster. That assassin never identified himself, which means he didn’t have a personal vendetta against him. So he wouldn’t have attacked him on his own, which means he had to have been hired. So why would he attack him with such a jutsu?”

“I’ve been wondering that, too,” Sakura said. “It couldn’t have been for money or power.”

“Actually, that’s not necessarily true,” Iruka said slowly.

Sakura gasped. “What do you mean?”

“Well, some people will take on suicide missions because the payout may not go to them, but their family or village. Kakashi is a very famous ninja, feared by many… he is in several of our enemies Bingo Books. So the payout would be immense indeed.” He closed his eyes. “But, unfortunately, there are those who kill just for the thrill. And sometimes people also are forced to carry out such missions.”

“That’s… horrible,” Sakura whispered.

Iruka lowered his chopsticks. “Unfortunately, we may never know the true reason of why Kakashi was attacked, or who is really behind it.”

A tear dripped down Sakura’s face. Sasuke locked his hands together so tightly they trembled.

“It just feels so unfair that we weren’t allowed to go with him and Naruto,” Sakura said. “I never thought the team should be broken up.”

“A group that large would have been hard to travel discreetly when needed,” Sasuke told her. “The way of the shinobi doesn’t care about what’s fair. You really need to accept that fact.”

Sakura moved as if to say something, but shrank with a small sound of defeat.

Iruka stared into his bowl, feeling wholly inadequate. “I wish there was some way I could assure you that everything will be all right.”

There was a moment of sad silence.

“You know, I’ve seen a lot of ninja in my time, but no one is as tough as Kakashi,” a voice said. Iruka, looked up, realizing it was the chef.

“Look, listen to me, you two,” the old man said, turning around to face the kids. “I’ve seen Kakashi around the village since he was a young boy. I don’t know him personally, but I know he’s come through a lot in his life. One thing about him I know is true and that is this: Kakashi never goes down without a fight. And he’s got Naruto with him. That kid doesn’t know the meaning of what giving up is.”

Sakura chuckled as she sniffed back tears. “You got that right. He actually said before he left, ‘Don’t you worry, guys! Kakashi sensei’s coming back just fine, you can count on it! That’s a promise from Naruto Uzumaki!’”

The chef laughed. “That sounds exactly like what Naruto would say!”

Iruka smiled, his heavy heart a little lighter. “Boy, I’ll say!”

“He’s such a loser,” Sasuke mumbled, but there was a slight smile on his face, telling Iruka wasn’t really meant as an insult.

The Uchiha got up from his stool and placed his hands in his pockets. “Only time will tell if Kakashi survives. The only thing we can do right now is keep up our training.” He eyed Sakura, but there was a hint of optimism in the dark gaze. “That’s what Kakashi would expect of us.”

Sakura beamed, jumping off her own stool. “That’s right!” she said with newfound determination. She turned to Iruka. “Thank you for the meal, sensei.”

He smiled. “Anytime. You two feel free to find me if you need anything, ok?”

They nodded and left.

Iruka turned to the chef. “Thank you for your words to them. I honestly wasn’t sure what to say.”

The old man smiled. “Oh, I don’t know if I helped at all, really. Seems Naruto’s words were the ones that really got them motivated, hmm?”

Iruka chuckled. “You’re right. Naruto can be quite unpredictable, but he puts his heart and soul into everything he does. And he’s fiercely loyal.”

He nodded. “Good qualities I hope to see in a future Hokage,” he said with a wink.

Iruka beamed. “Me, too.”

The old man took Sasuke and Sakura’s bowls off the counter. “You did a good thing for those two today.”

Iruka sighed. “I just wish I could do more for them.”

He smiled. “You have a very kind soul, Iruka sensei.”

He smiled and fished out his wallet. “How much do I owe you?”

The chef waved his hand. “It’s on the house.”

“No, no, I can’t let you do that!”

“I insist.”

Iruka bowed his head. “Thank you.” He rose and was just about to exit when the chef called his name. He turned back around. “Yes?”

The chef had grown somber. “If Kakashi doesn’t make it, watch out for those kids, huh? But especially Naruto, I have a feeling he would take it very hard.”

Iruka nodded. “Of course.”

*******

In a secluded spot near the edge of the village, a brown snake of no known species slipped out its perch in one of the tall trees, sliding up the back of a grey haired ninja to rest on his shoulder.

Kabuto smiled. “You’re late, my lord.”

“Never mind that,” the snake drolled in Orochimaru’s voice, a mere vessel for communication. “What have you learned? Has the Hatake brat finally died?”

“I regret to report that he is still alive. Though he is weakening, his demise was slowed by an unexpected development.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“It seems that Kurisutaru Aoki arrived and stalled his death.”

There was a pause. “I wasn’t aware they were acquainted.”

“My source informs me that they met by chance years ago when they were teenagers.”

Orochimaru growled. “That Kurisutaru has been a thorn in my side for years. I assume she’s taking him to Kiiroi Tani?”

“Correct, my lord.”

There was a deep sigh of frustration. “Oh, I would love to get my hands on all the jutsu that is hidden there! But that is a plan for another day.”

Kabuto’s eyes went wide. “Lord Orochimaru, to attempt a breech of Kiiroi Tani is bold, even for you!”

“That is not your concern right now!” he snapped.

Kabuto swallowed, knowing that if he just waited patiently, the Sannin’s anger would dissipate.

After a moment, Orochimaru continued. “Listen, I know the route they are most likely to take. If that is the case, we have some loyal ninja from the Sound hidden nearby.”

Kabuto smiled. “I understand, my lord. I will take care of it.”

“I know you will. And then, come back to the village… we need to prepare and select our team to help carry out my current plan.”

Kabuto pushed his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. “Yes, my lord.”

*******

That evening, Sakura walked into Kakashi’s apartment. She wondered if she should even be there at all. Being the only one there, she almost felt like a stranger.

Lately, this place had felt more like home than her actual one. The team had really come together to help Kakashi. While it was good that their teamwork was improving, she wished it wasn’t because of Kakashi’s… condition.

She wanted to drop by just to make sure everything was ok. Even though she wasn’t actually on the journey with him, she still wanted to protect Kakashi, wanted to be useful in some way.

She walked into his bedroom, seeing the plant on his shelf.

Strange. I’ve been in this room several times and I never noticed this plant before.

She stepped closer, reading the name “Mr. Ukki” on the pot. She chuckled to herself, what a strange name for a plant.

A couple of the leaves looked like they were starting to wilt a little. Sakura didn’t know much about caring for plants, but she knew they needed watering regularly. She went into the kitchen, filled a glass with water, and gave what she felt was a good amount to the plant. She was careful not to spill any on the shelf or give so much that the soil overflowed.

“Well, I might not be able to help Kakashi sensei right now, but I can at least take care of you, Mr. Ukki.”

Thinking Kakashi would appreciate that, she left the apartment with a content smile.

Chapter Text

Kakashi might not have been plagued with nightmares last night, but that didn’t mean he had slept well. His exhausted body had pulled him to sleep eventually, but not before he had lain awake for hours, his restless mind spinning like his Sharingan, replaying the memories over and over.

They rode hard in the morning. Kakashi clung to Miyuna’s mane, trying his best to keep his body matching her rhythm. It would have been a lot easier if he were able to infuse just a little bit of chakra to his hips and legs, but luckily the horse was understanding of his predicament. She kept herself steady and even, her pace as solid as a metronome, so at least the rhythm never changed.

Lunch consisted of filled rice balls for the humans and oats for the horses. Kurisutaru leapt out of the tree from where she had been keeping watch and clapped her hands twice.

“Alright, gather round, everyone,” she said, sitting on the grass next to Kakashi. “We need to talk about this next part of the journey.”

Naruto sat down in front of them and the horses came up, Takeshi standing close to his mistress. The other two flanked the boy.

“Tonight we will be staying we will be staying at an inn —”

“Yeah!” Naruto shouted gleefully, pumping his fist in the air. “That sounds awesome! I could use a good soak in a hot spring!”

“Pipe down, brat!” Kurisutaru snapped at him. “This isn’t a vacation.”

“I know that!”

“Settle down, Naruto,” Kakashi told him.

The boy crossed his arms.

“Now, we’ll be staying in the town of Tanoshī Machi. Kakashi, do you know it?”

He nodded. “Yeah. But I’ve never actually been there before.”

“It sounds like it’s a happy place,” Naruto said.

Bunta and Takeshi glared at him.

“You really are an idiot,” Bunta grumbled.

“Tanoshī Machi may call itself joyful, but it’s nothing like that,” Kakashi told him. “It’s a city that’s tucked away in the woods and is far away from neighboring towns. It’s actually a pretty rough place.”

Kurisutaru nodded. “Correct. It definitely attracts more… colorful individuals, if you know what I mean.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s nothing there that I can’t handle,” Naruto said with confidence.

Bunta snorted. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

“I’m guessing you’ve been there before?” Kakashi asked Kurisutaru.

She gave a wry grin. “Several times. It’s a great place to get information… one I frequent, actually.”

Kakashi looked at her. “Which means the only reason we’re staying in that rough spot is because there’s something there you want.”

She smiled and produced a scroll from the folds of her shirt. “I have a scroll that’s worth quite a bit of money, actually.”

Naruto jumped to his feet and pointed at Kurisutaru. “You’re putting money as a priority over Kakashi sensei?” he yelled accusingly.

Takeshi took a step forward with a dangerous glare. “You will not question my mistress.”

“Stand down, Takeshi,” she commanded. Her gaze then focused on the boy. “Look, do not think me heartless. We are on the quickest route to Kiiroi Tani. Nothing wrong with killing two birds with one stone, right? Besides, I already had this meeting set up before I felt my seals activate on Kakashi.”

“Oh,” Naruto said, plopping back down, defeated.

Bunta chuckled. “Impulsive brat.”

“Now that that’s settled, let me say that we can’t just go waltzing in to Tanoshī Machi. They don’t take too kindly to ninjas there, and too many people know me, so we’ll have to go in disguise. And the best way to do that is by transformation.”

“B-but Kakashi sensei can’t use a transformation! He can’t use any chakra!”

Kurisutaru rolled her eyes. “Will you please just shut up and listen? Do you really think I don’t have a plan?”

“Have some patience, Naruto,” Kakashi told him.

Naruto crossed his arms in a huff.

“So, as you so cleverly pointed out, Kakashi can’t use transformation jutsu.” She turned to him. “But you’re very well known and in many Bingo Books. There are several in Tanoshī Machi who would love to kidnap or kill you for the money you would bring.”

“The consequences of being popular,” he said easily.

Kurisutaru was not impressed as she grunted at him. “Well, there are a few things that we can do to make you less recognizable. The easiest and best would be if you took off that mask.”

“No.”

“Awww, sensei, you’re no fun,” Naruto grumbled.

Kurisutaru sucked air through her teeth. “I figured as much. Well, on to the next thing… hiding that eye of yours.” She reached into her pack and pulled out a sealing tag, showing it to them.

“That is a very intricate seal,” Kakashi commented. “I can tell it’s genjutsu, but there’s more to it that I can’t interpret.”

Naruto just looked at the seal in confusion. “You can read that? Just looks like random squiggles to me.”

Bunta snorted. “Idiot.”

“It’s a little invention of mine,” Kurisutaru said. “I tweaked it specifically for Kakashi before we left the Hidden Leaf.” She looked at him. “When I place this tag on you, the genjutsu will render your scar invisible to the naked eye. Also, it will cut off the chakra flow to your Sharingan, so you won’t be compromised there. But the known side effect is that the eye will be temporarily blinded.”

Kakashi shrugged. “I’m pretty used to having a blind spot most of the time.”

“True. You’ll wear a contact lens to hide the color… even blinding it won’t fully remove the red hue, since your Sharingan is always active. I have a set that perfectly matches your natural color.”

“Oh?” he said with a raised eyebrow.

She gave a mischievous grin. “I can fool the lowlifes in Tanoshī Machi easily enough with my level of transformation jutsu, but other places require more traditional methods of disguise.”

“I see.”

“Now, we’re less likely to be seen as suspicious if we go in looking like a family. They tend to leave families with kids alone… it’s some type of moral code, at least. And it’s well known that you don’t have any kids, Kakashi, so it’ll help your disguise be even more believable.”

He gave an approving nod. “You’ve really thought this through.”

She shrugged. “Not my first time in the trenches.” She looked at Naruto. “Hey, kid, can you do the transformation jutsu?”

“Duh!”

“Good. Now, here’s the really difficult part. The horses cannot come into the town with us. Which means we’ll have to proceed on foot once we’re close enough.”

Kakashi purposely kept his eye fixed on Kurisutaru, not wanting to meet the concerned look he knew Naruto had for him. He gave a small shrug and said, “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

Kurisutaru looked up at Takeshi. “You will take Miyuna and Bunta around Tanoshī Machi. Make sure you all stay out of sight. We will meet at our normal place.”

Takeshi gave a nod. “Yes, milady.”

Bunta snorted. “So I’m getting a break from the kid? Finally!”

Naruto growled at the pony, but offered no other retort.

Kurisutaru looked at both Kakashi and Naruto. “Since I’m the one who has experience being in Tanoshī Machi, you will follow my lead. I can keep all of us safe, but only if you trust me, got it?”

“You’ve given us no reason not to,” Kakashi told her before Naruto could speak.

“Good,” she said with a curt nod.

They mounted back up and rode for another three hours before Kurisutaru held up her hand, indicating for them to stop.

“This is as far as we go with the horses. Let’s get our disguises ready. Kakashi, there is a sealing scroll in your vest that Sasuke gave you. Hand it to me.”

Kakashi obeyed, ignoring the fact that his shaking fingers meant he had to try twice to get the compartment open. Kurisutaru rolled it out on the ground and placed her hands in the appropriate sign that released her desired contents. She handed him a plain, dark gray wrap shirt with matching pants. “Here, put these on.”

Kakashi accepted the items, going behind a tree to change. He pulled a fresh mask out of his vest, donning it before any other article of clothing. Once he was changed, he folded his shinobi uniform neatly and carefully laid his headband on top. He carried everything over to Kurisutaru, who sealed it all in the scroll, then tucked it neatly away.

“All right, Kakashi, are you ready for the seal?”

He nodded. Kurisutaru motioned for him to sit, and he obeyed.

“I can place the seal on your back.”

Kakashi undid his shirt and allowed it to drape, exposing his upper back to her. She placed the seal between his shoulder blades and he immediately hissed as he felt the sharp cutoff of his chakra pathway to his left eye. But the pain was gone in the next second. He opened both of his eyes and he was indeed truly blind in his Sharingan.

Kurisutaru knelt in front of him and nodded approvingly. “Looks like it worked.”

Naruto looked at him with a lopsided grin as he retied his shirt. “You look weird without your scar, Kakashi sensei.”

“Gee, thanks,” he told him, but the smile he wore made sure there was no harshness in his tone. Kurisutaru handed him a small case and he opened it, took out one of the contacts, and placed the lens in his eye.

“Woah, that really works!” Naruto exclaimed. “You can’t see any trace of your Sharingan at all!”

“Now, the final touch,” Kurisutaru said, handing him a cream traveler’s cloak.

He put it on, hoping they didn’t notice his slight difficulty with the closure. It was so frustrating to have hands that now shook constantly. And he didn’t even feel it, was only cruelly reminded when he used them.

Naruto stared at him. “You really don’t look like yourself, Kakashi sensei.”

Kakashi chuckled. “Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?”

Kurisutaru focused her attention to Naruto. “Ok, kid, time for our transformations. Since we’re posing as a family and considering mine and Kakashi’s ages, we need you to be younger… like six or seven. And remember, don’t make too many changes where you can’t hold the henge… you’ll need to hold it for several hours.”

“No problem!” Naruto leapt to his feet, signed Inu-I-Hitsuji, then shouted, “Transform!”

There was a puff of smoke and Naruto’s frame had indeed changed to one of the appropriate age. He wore gray shorts and a black top. His face shape was the same, his cheeks still bore his whiskers, and his hair was still spiked. Though now his hair was the same color as Kakashi’s. But his eyes…

Kakashi’s heart squeezed in his chest.

His eyes, just as large and bright as usual, were now a rich gray, almost the exact same shade as Kushina’s.

When he grinned, Kakashi felt a chill in his spine. He looked so very much like her.

“Well, how’s this?” the boy asked, completely unaware of Kakashi’s inner turmoil.

“Looks good,” he praised him, giving him a smile. “Your transformation is really improving.”

Naruto chuckled happily.

Kurisutaru nodded her approval, then transformed herself. Long straight platinum hair, lavender eyes, and a willowy frame that didn’t hint at the strength she possessed. “All right, we should get going.” She stood, then looked around. “Where’s Miyuna?”

“She’s nearby, I can still smell her,” Kakashi told her, once again accepting Naruto’s hand in helping him rise.

It was then that the mare came trotting forward out of the woods, a long stick in her mouth. “Here,” she told him. “I thought this might help you on your walk to Tanoshī Machi.”

Kakashi took the stick, which was relatively straight and strong, and also the perfect length of a walking stick. “Thanks,” he said, moved by her gesture.

The mare bowed her head to him. “Please be careful, Kakashi.”

He smiled at the kind horse. “I will.”

“All right, time to go,” Kurisutaru said. “Takeshi?”

The warrior horse nodded. “Miyuna, Bunta, come with me.”

“Try to stay out of trouble, runt,” Bunta said to Naruto.

The boy turned around, raising his fist to the pony. “Look, I’ve had just about enough of you!”

Miyuna chuckled and nuzzled his shoulder. “Don’t let him get under your skin, Naruto. He actually does like you.”

“I do not!”

She smiled. “The sooner you admit it, the sooner you won’t argue anymore.”

Bunta tossed his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Miyuna chuckled lightly as they followed Takeshi into the woods.

*******

Normally, Kakashi could walk a mile in about fifteen minutes. But the circumstances were far from normal and his body severely weakened. His pace was definitely slower and, though he hated to admit it, the walking stick Miyuna had found for him made it easier. He felt an odd mix of shame and gratitude stir in his gut.

But at about the halfway point, he could really feel the toll on his body. His joints were hurting and his head pounded, mostly on the left side. It was probably a side effect from the seal. He leaned a little heavier on his stick, hoping he was being discreet enough that Naruto and Kurisutaru wouldn’t notice.

No such luck. Kurisutaru’s transformed eyes were on him.

“You doing alright?”

“Yeah,” he said, but was surprised at how rough and breathless he sounded. He realized he had been concentrating so hard on walking that he didn’t realize he was breathing heavier than usual.

She narrowed her eyes. “Headache?”

“You… might say that.”

A full blown migraine is what it is, he thought to himself, feeling the meager food he had eaten earlier roll around in his stomach.

She nodded. She knew without him telling her it was from the seal. “Nothing I can do about that, unfortunately. Any other side effects?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s something, at least. Can you hold on or do I need to release it?”

Kakashi gritted his teeth. “I can handle it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Really? Or are you just being stubborn?”

Naruto chuckled. “Knowing him, probably both.”

Kakashi decided his comment wasn’t worth a retort and just focused his remaining energy on walking.

“After we round this bend, the entrance to Tanoshī Machi will be in view,” Kurisutaru told them.

When they arrived, it was obvious that Tanoshī Machi was a poor town. The streets weren’t maintained, buildings were dirty, and most people wore old and stained clothing. There was a group standing near an alley that Kakashi could tell were ninja, even though they wore no headbands. He darted his eyes away… even in disguise there was always a chance he could be recognized.

And he would be no help if they ran into trouble. His legs were shaking and he was leaning heavily on his stick. His breathing was labored and he could feel sweat dripping down his back.

He felt someone take his hand. He looked and saw it was Naruto. To anyone else, he just looked like a nervous child who was clutching his father for security. But the boy was channeling chakra to his arm, taking some of Kakashi’s weight onto himself by providing another source of support for him.

Kurisutaru stayed close to his other side. He knew she had to play the part of a concerned wife, but she hovered in a way that would allow her to easily catch him if he stumbled.

Which, he hated to admit, was a real possibility.

“This way,” Kurisutaru said quietly, subtly steering them towards a two story building.

They walked in. The downstairs was obviously a bar and gambling hall, with dark and suspicious characters, laughing fools, and the stink of alcohol and smoke.

“Uh, Ka… I mean, Dad, you should sit down,” Naruto mumbled to him, guiding him to a nearby chair.

Kakashi didn’t have the strength to resist. He flopped down heavier than he intended, his ears ringing.

Kurisutaru walked up to the counter. “Ummm, excuse me?” Her voice was small and meek, nothing like her usual tenor.

The man behind the counter turned to her. “What do you want?”

“Please, sir, do you have a room available for myself and my family? My husband is not well and needs to rest.”

The man looked at Kakashi, then back at Kurisutaru. “He doesn’t have anything catching, does he?”

Kakashi could only imagine how he looked. Pale, shaky, breathing so hard he was practically panting. It was a valid question.

Naruto was studying him intently. “You alright, Dad?” His voice had a slightly higher pitch to it.

Kakashi couldn’t spare the breath to speak. Instead he just patted Naruto’s shoulder with a weak smile as he continued to gulp for air.

“Oh, no!” Kurisutaru was saying. “I assure you, his troubles are confined to his body. We’ve heard tale of some miraculous healing hot springs in the North, so we’re traveling to get to them.”

The man gave a nod. “Aya!”

A young girl, no more than eighteen, came out from the back. “Yes?”

The man gestured to Kurisutaru. “These people want a room. Take care of it, ok?”

“Of course,” she said then faced Kurisutaru. “Our largest room has two tatami mats and is six thousand ryō for the night.”

“Oh, thank you!” Kurisutaru pulled a coin purse from the folds of her clothing and gave the girl a handful of coins.

“If you will follow me, please,” Aya said, walking around the counter.

Kakashi felt Kurisutaru’s arm slide underneath his and her voice gently encouraged him to rise. She played the part of doting, worried wife well. He was supported by her and Naruto up the stairs, as Kurisutaru told Aya the same story she had told the man behind the counter.

“I am so sorry,” Aya said sincerely. “I do hope you’ll be well soon.”

“Mom says the special hot springs will help!” Naruto piped in with childlike hope.

Aya smiled at him. “I hope so.” She unlocked their room and gave Kurisutaru the key. “The inn’s bath is just down the hall. I will bring your meal in a few hours.”

“Thank you,” Kurisutaru told her as Aya closed the door behind her with a smile.

The room was small with two tatami mats in the middle and no other furniture. They helped Kakashi over to one of the mats and he practically fell as he laid down, a soft groan escaping him.

“You all right, Kakashi sensei?” Naruto asked.

“Sure,” he panted. But the truth was his body was trembling from overexertion, he hurt all over, and his head pounded viciously.

Kurisutaru placed her hand on his chest and closed her eyes. After a moment she withdrew her hand and said, “Well, both seals are holding perfectly. Unfortunately I can’t do anything about the pain or exhaustion.”

Kakashi brought quivering fingers to his temples, trying in vain to massage some of the discomfort away. “I’ll be fine.”

“You got a headache, sensei?”

“Yeah.”

Naruto leapt to his feet. “I know what might help!” he exclaimed a little too loudly and ran out of the room.

Kurisutaru shook her head with a wry grin. “Does that kid ever run out of energy?”

“Not that I’ve seen.” He looked at her. “Kurisutaru, before Naruto comes back, I need to know something.”

“What?”

“When Mina—“ He broke off, licking suddenly dry lips. “When Lord Fourth went to Kiiroi Tani, is that when he discovered—“

“Not discovered,” Kurisutaru interpreted. “Developed.”

“Huh?”

“You were going to as if the Fourth Hokage discovered the Reaper Death Seal in Kiiroi Tani, correct?”

He nodded.

Kurisutaru crossed her arms. “The Fourth Hokage studied many seals, including the Widowmaker. He wanted to create something strong enough that could stop the Nine Tails, if the worst happened, which it did.”

Kakashi focused his eye on the ceiling. “I see.”

He heard Kurisutaru sigh. “Does the reason you don’t talk about the Fourth with Naruto have anything to do with the fact that he’s his father?”

Kakashi jerked. “How do you know that?”

Kurisutaru shrugged. “I make a living based on reading people and finding out unique bits of information. Wasn’t that hard for me to figure out, really.”

Before Kakashi could respond, Naruto came bounding back into the room, a wet cloth in his hands. “Here, sensei,” he said, kneeling beside him.

He placed the cool cloth on Kakashi’s forehead and he had to force himself not to sigh in relief. “Thanks, Naruto.”

The boy smiled. “Sure thing! One time I was really sick and I had a bad headache. Iruka sensei came to visit me and he did this. So I thought this might help you, too.”

Kakashi didn’t know Iruka well, but he had been on a few missions with him and he knew the teacher was a kind soul with high values. It was very probable that Iruka had done more for Naruto in his growing up years than any other individual. And while he was glad Naruto had the Chunin in his life, he couldn’t stop the regret and guilt that pulled at his heart.

“Do you need water or anything to eat?” the kid asked.

“Only if you want to see me puke.”

Naruto snickered. “Well, I’d get to see your face then! And Sasuke and Sakura would be so jealous!”

Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle.

Kurisutaru, however, didn’t seem amused. “You should take this time to sleep, Kakashi. In your current state, you should rest at any opportunity you get.”

“All right,” he said and obediently closed his eyes. It was only seconds before his exhausted body pulled him to a, thankfully, dreamless slumber.

Chapter Text

Naruto watched as Kakashi drifted off to sleep. This particular leg of the journey had been especially difficult for him and Naruto was worried. His sensei had always been strong — was still strong as far as he was concerned. Though he knew Kakashi didn’t share that opinion now.

“He’s changed, you know,” Kurisutaru said.

Naruto looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“From back when we first met. He was cold and distant, so focused on his mission he could barely think about anything else. Nothing else mattered.”

Naruto felt a shiver go down his spine. “You mean… Kakashi sensei was really… like that?”

“Yeah. You didn’t know?”

Naruto shrugged. “I’d heard rumors about him… people called him ‘Cold Blooded Kakashi’ but I figured they just didn’t know him. I mean, he’s not warm and fuzzy, but he’s nice and he protects us.”

Kurisutaru nodded with a sigh. “Look, kid, I know I come across as a hard-ass. And I’m not going to apologize for it… in my line of work, it keeps me alive.” She looked at Kakashi’s sleeping body. “He was a hard-ass back then, too. But I’m a good read of people. Whereas being that way keeps me alive, it was slowly destroying him. Something changed in these past eight years for him for the better.” She looked back at Naruto, a small smile dancing at the corners of her transformed lips. “I have a feeling it’s three changes.”

“Woah, that many? What are they?”

She huffed a laugh. “You know, you really are dense.”

Naruto growled in frustration.

“Oh, don’t give me that. Listen, why don’t you rest, too?”

“I’m not tired!”

“Fine. I’m going to go grab a bath and get the dust from the road off. After that I’m going to do some scouting. Let go of your transformation to save energy, but make sure you reinitiate it if someone comes to the door.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

He waited until Kurisutaru left before he released his transformation. He looked at Kakashi, who appeared to be sleeping peacefully, though the exhaustion on his limbs was plain to see.

Kakashi would probably sleep for a few hours at least and Kurisutaru would most likely be gone for a while as well. So Naruto did what he always did when he was alone and wanted to keep himself company.

“Shadow clone jutsu!”

He tried to stay quiet. He really did. But after a while the clones got a little too rowdy and a tired voice said, “Knock it off.”

Naruto immediately dispelled the clones, looking at Kakashi sheepishly. “Sorry, sensei.”

Kakashi sat up tiredly, blinking his eyes lazily. “Where is Kurisutaru?”

“She said she was going to take a bath then go out scouting. That was a couple hours ago so no telling where she is now.”

Kakashi nodded. “Actually, we should probably take advantage of the inn’s facilities as well.”

Naruto leapt to his feet. “Yeah! I could use a hood soak!”

Even though he was probably being too loud considering Kakashi’s headache, his sensei chuckled at his eagerness. He was still pretty shaky, so he used the walking stick to help himself to his feet. Naruto knew that Kakashi didn’t like needing help, but he didn’t know if his sensei could make the walk there on his own.

“I’ll help you, sensei,” he said, taking his other arm, “so that we can maintain the illusion, ok?”

“Naruto, you don’t have to try and protect my pride.” Gray eyes looked down at him fondly. “But… thanks.”

The boy giggled and reached for the door handle.

“Uh, Naruto, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Huh? Oh, right!” He quickly reestablished his transformation. “Sorry about that… Dad.”

Kakashi huffed a soft laugh and they made their way slowly down the hall. Once again Naruto threaded more chakra to his arm, trying not to watch to closely as his normally strong sensei shuffled along.

When they reached the bathroom, Kakashi was breathing a little heavy, beads of sweat dotting his brow. It was unsettling to see how much all the walking had taken out of him. Naruto hadn’t realized just how much of his sensei’s strength was being saved by riding the horses.

He helped Kakashi sit on the floor next to the sink. He then flicked the lock on the door and went to the tub, turning on the water.

“Do you want to bathe first, sensei?”

Kakashi shook his head. “I’m not going to take a bath. I honestly don’t know if I could get out of the tub. I’ll just wipe myself down with a washcloth.”

Naruto nodded, trying not to let his worry show. He went to the stack of provided towels and picked up a washcloth. He dipped it in the warm water from the bath, wrung it out, then handed it to his sensei.

“Thanks.”

Naruto let go of his transformation and pulled off his jumpsuit. It was proper manners to fold it neatly, but he cast it haphazardly on the floor. He wet his own washcloth, wiping away as much of the sweat and dirt as he could. Once done he turned off the water to the tub and hopped in, giggling to himself at how good the water felt.

His happiness didn’t last, though. Right when he got settled he heard the unmistakable sound of retching. Looking over he saw Kakashi’s back to him, his head in the toilet as he heaved.

“Kakashi sensei, are you all right?”

A pale hand waved in the air, dismissing his comment before it clutched the bowl again as more contents were spilled from Kakashi’s stomach.

He hasn’t even been eating that much…

Naruto couldn’t help but watch his sensei tremble and vomit. He knew chakra exhaustion wreaked havoc on the body but he’d never heard of it causing nausea.

“Is it cause of your headache?”

“I… guess so,” Kakashi answered between panting breaths. “Just… take your bath, Naruto. I’ll be fine.”

As Kakashi brought his washcloth up to wipe his face, Naruto knew his time in the bath wouldn’t be nearly as long as he wanted. Kakashi needed to go back to sleep, his body was too stressed out. So after a few full body dunks into the relaxing water he got out, drained the tub, and dried off as quickly as he could. He put his clothes back on, reset his transformation, then proceeded to help Kakashi back to their room.

Kakashi flopped onto the mat, a tired sigh escaping him.

“Are you ok, sensei?”

“Just peachy.”

Right then, there was a knock on the door. Quickly, Naruto created a shadow clone to look like Kurisutaru’s transformation then he went and opened the door. It was Aya, holding a tray that held three small bowls of miso soup and glasses of water.

“I hope I am not disturbing you, but I thought you would find this nourishing after your journey.”

“Oh, how kind of you,” Naruto-as-transformed-Kurisutaru said.

Aya smiled, setting the tray down. “Please enjoy,” she said and walked away.

Kakashi smiled at him as he closed the door and dispelled the clone. “That was quick thinking, Naruto. Good job.”

The boy found himself grinning. “Do you think you can manage one of the soups?”

Kakashi shook his head. “I better not. It might all come back up again.”

Naruto frowned. “You gotta eat something, sensei.”

“I’ll eat later, ok?”

He didn’t believe him, but he relented. He picked up one of the glasses of water and brought it over to him. “Well, at least drink this so you stay hydrated. And no arguing about it.”

“Hey, I thought I was the parent in this little charade,” Kakashi teased.

Naruto crossed his arms. “The Hokage chose me to go with you on this journey, so technically I’m responsible for you.”

Kakashi clutched his chest in mock horror. “Oh, Kami, save me!”

“Oh, shut up!” Naruto yelled at him, but he couldn’t stop himself from giggling. Which, in turn, caused Kakashi to chuckle, too.

And for a moment, life was normal. For a moment, Naruto was able to forget why they were on this journey, forget the fact that Kakashi was dying.

And realized that had been Kakashi’s intent.

Sneaky sensei.

Before he could confront him, though, he saw Kakashi had already drifted back to sleep, the water untouched.

About an hour later, Kurisutaru returned. She motioned to Kakashi. “Has he been out the whole time?”

“No, he woke up once. But I think that headache’s pretty bad… he threw up while we were in the bathroom.”

“Oh. Well, that’s unfortunate but there’s nothing that can be done about that. Hopefully it’ll resolve itself when I remove the seal.”

“I hope so. He’s really going through it.”

Kurisutaru crossed her arms thoughtfully. “The next hardest part for him will be when we leave Tanoshī Machi tomorrow. We’ll have to walk about the same distance as today to rendezvous with the horses. But after that, barring we don’t run into complications, my seal should continue to hold well.”

Naruto nodded. “That’s good.” He fiddled with the edge of his shirt. “Hey… Kurisutaru?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“I… uh… I had a hard time trusting you for a while. But, well, as we keep going on this mission, you’ve given me no reason not to. Don’t get me wrong, you’re not the nicest person I’ve ever met —“

“Never claimed to be.”

Naruto groaned and pointed at her. “Ugh, you can be so annoying! I’m just trying to say thank you!”

“Why? I haven’t saved his life yet.”

He crossed his arms in a huff and turned his back to her. “Never mind.”

Behind him, Kurisutaru chuckled.

*******

“Kakashi. Kakashi, wake up!”

He groaned, opening his eyes. His head still pounded like a blacksmith was using his skull as his anvil. The room was dark… it was the middle of the night. He heard Naruto snoring loudly.

Kurisutaru was kneeling beside him and she snapped her fingers. “Hey, you with me? We’ve got trouble.”

That definitely got Kakashi’s attention. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I met my contact to deliver the scroll. He’s someone I’ve dealt with before. I wouldn’t consider him a friend, but probably the closest you can get in this business.”

That means whatever she’s learned is coming from a reliable source. “I understand.”

“Turns out, you weren’t just randomly attacked with the Widowmaker.”

“I figured as much. Not the first time someone has ordered a hit on me.”

“You idiot!” she hissed. “It wasn’t some punk low-life thug who issued it. It was Orochimaru!”

Kakashi’s blood ran cold at the mention of that snake. “He… could have killed me years ago. Why do it now?”

“Who knows and who cares? The important thing is that he somehow knows where we’re headed.”

Kakashi swallowed. “There’s a spy in the village,” he realized.

She nodded. “That’s my thought exactly.”

The silver hair fought hard to keep the tremor that coursed his soul from being visible. “Is he pursuing us?”

“I would think so. But I’m not sure.”

He nodded.

“Shall I tell the kid?”

Kakashi looked to see Naruto sprawled out, snoring, completely unaware of their conversation. He looked so innocent.

“It might be a good thing. He and I are capable of fighting, along with Takeshi. But the other horses aren’t warriors and you can’t fight for obvious reasons.”

Kakashi sighed. “No, we won’t tell him yet. Not until we’re sure.”

Kurisutaru shrugged. “I disagree, but he’s your charge. We’ll just have to be extra vigilant as we travel.”

“Agreed.”

She sat back on her heels. “Well, I’m going to get some sleep now. Good night, Kakashi.”

“Good night.”

Kakashi closed his eyes, but he didn’t sleep. Orochimaru… it had been years since he’d seen that snake. He was an ANBU at that time, still incredibly young but already a hardened assassin.

And Orochimaru had stopped him in his tracks, frozen by his own fear.

Kakashi thought about Naruto, so young and full of life. He had an optimism and a hope that Kakashi had never had. He knew there was evil in the world, but Orochimaru was in a whole other league. Naruto probably wouldn’t be able to imagine the horrors that particular Sannin was able to inflict.

Kakashi might be Naruto’s teacher, but he was also his protector. He was growing up so fast. And as a ninja, he would learn the horrors and dangers of this world quicker and harsher than most.

Kakashi closed his eyes, sending up a silent prayer that, no matter what happened, Naruto would never lose his optimism.

Somehow, he knew the world needed it.

Chapter Text

Naruto woke up in the morning to find Kurisutaru awake and Kakashi still asleep. It was odd, Kakashi was normally an early riser… which didn’t quite match how lazy he could be.

Aya came by their room to drop off their breakfast. Kakashi slept through it, not even stirring. He usually woke at the slightest sound, always ready to react at a moment’s notice, if necessary.

Seeing him so worn out that his shinobi reflexes were practically non-existent really unnerved Naruto.

Kurisutaru stared at Kakashi while they ate.

“I know he really needs the rest,” she said with a sigh once they were done, “but we really need to get going.”

Naruto looked at her. “Can’t we let him sleep just a little longer?”

She shook her head. “Afraid not, kid.”

Naruto sighed, then made his way over to the silver hair, placing a hand a little hesitantly on his shoulder. “Um… Kakashi sensei?”

Kakashi blinked bleary eyes open. He looked at Naruto. “Oh… I must’ve overslept this morning.” He smiled. “Sorry about that.”

Naruto returned his smile. If Kakashi wanted to play this cool, he could reciprocate. “No worries, sensei. But we do need to get going, you know?”

Kakashi nodded and pushed himself up. Naruto pretended he didn’t see the tremor in Kakashi’s arms at the effort.

“Do you want to eat something first?” he asked.

Kakashi looked at the tray that had an untouched bowl of rice with egg. He shook his head. “My migraine is still pretty bad. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything till the seal is removed.”

Naruto sighed sadly.

“I’ll have to work on that side effect at some point,” Kurisutaru said. “For now, we need to head out.”

So, Naruto reestablished his transformation, as did Kurisutaru. Kakashi stood, aided by his walking stick. Naruto hurried to take his hand.

He and Kurisutaru helped Kakashi down the stairs. Naruto couldn’t help but notice the way his sensei leaned on them, how his body quivered when balancing on one leg.

They left the inn and made their way slowly down the main street of the town. It was a sad and desolate place. Naruto had no desire to return.

He felt Kakashi tighten against him.

Before he could wonder why, five ninja sprang up suddenly around them, forcing them to stop. Naruto swallowed, seeing that they were all Hidden Mist ninja.

He knew firsthand how formidable they could be.

He could see that Kakashi was already analyzing the situation. Naruto wanted to spring into action, but remembered that they were in disguise. So he clutched Kakashi’s hand and stepped closer to him, doing his best to look like a scared civilian kid.

“Alright,” the tallest ninja said, “give us all your valuables and no one gets hurt.”

“We have nothing of value,” Kakashi told him, his voice stronger than Naruto was expecting. “Please, let us pass. You are frightening my son.”

Naruto hid himself behind Kakashi’s cloak. Being undercover was easy. It was kind of like one big prank.

The ninja sneered at each other. “You stayed at the inn,” one of them pointed out. “That means you have at least some money.”

Kurisutaru stepped forward. “You have no honor if you mean to rob a poor family,” she told them.

“Oh yeah? And what can a pathetic little baka onna do to stop us?”

One side of her mouth curled up in a sly smile. “Plenty.”

In one swift motion, she pulled out her wakizashu sword, which had been hidden in the folds of her clothes on her back. Then, Naruto watched in amazement as she moved with the speed of the wind, slicing down their enemies before he could even blink.

As the ninja lay groaning in the dirt, Kurisutaru replaced her sword. “You guys should really think twice before you underestimate someone,” she said, the words out of place with her sweeter, transformed voice.

“Woah!” Naruto exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were that good… Mom!”

Kakashi looked at him with a small smile. “She is quite skilled indeed.”

Kurisutaru looked back at them with a bit of a cheeky grin. “Shall we continue?”

They walked out of Tanoshī Machi without anymore incidents. Naruto continued to support Kakashi, noticing the gradual slowing of his pace, the way he leaned more and more on his walking stick.

But when his breathing changed from heavy to panting and he felt sweat seeping through his clothes, he spoke up.

“Hey… are you all right?”

Kakashi didn’t answer him. Or maybe he couldn’t.

Naruto knew Kakashi rarely admitted if something was wrong. Even if he couldn’t talk, he always gave a smile, a pat, or a peace sign to convince everyone (and maybe himself) that he was ok.

But he never had no reaction at all.

Worry clutched Naruto’s heart.

Kakashi sensei…

“We’re almost to the horses,” Kurisutaru said, sensing what was going on.

But Kakashi simply couldn’t make it.

His trembling knees gave way, the barest of grunts escaping him as they contacted the ground. Naruto followed him down, holding him up. “Kakashi sensei!”

Kurisutaru was immediately in front of him. “We can’t wait any longer to remove the seal, it’s taking too much out of you. Kakashi, take out that contact and close your eye, then I’ll remove the seal.” She looked at Naruto. “You can go ahead and let go of your transformation.”

“Right,” he said and obeyed.

The seconds ticked by as Kakashi’s shaking fingers struggled with the contact, but he finally got it out. Kurisutaru, who had also let go of her own transformation, produced the case for him to drop it in to.

Once done, she stood and walked behind him. She pulled his shirt back and peeled off the seal.

Naruto tried to hold Kakashi up, but the man toppled awkwardly and landed hair first in the dirt, unconscious.

*******

Kakashi’s first sensation back to awareness was that he was moving.

No, that wasn’t quite right. He was on something that was moving.

He inhaled deeply, a strange musk filtering through his mask.

“Kakashi?” a kind voice inquired quietly. “Are you awake?”

Miyuna.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice rough. He opened his eye and pushed himself up, realizing he had been lying against the mare’s neck.

“Kakashi sensei! You’re awake!”

He looked up, seeing Naruto riding Bunta beside him. The blue eyes were wide. “How… long was I out?” he asked. He placed his hand on his forehead, realizing then that someone had put his headband back over his Sharingan.

“About an hour,” Kurisutaru supplied.

“Do you still have your headache, sensei?” Naruto asked.

Kakashi shook his head. “No.”

The kid beamed. “That’s good!”

Miyuna tilted her head back. “He’s been quite worried about you.”

His brain still felt stuffy, but he managed a smile. “You don’t have to worry about me, Naruto.”

There was a flicker of… something… that ghosted over the kid’s face, but it was gone before Kakashi could identify it. Before he could dwell on it, he deflected and said, “You know, you did really well back there.”

The blonde grinned. “Thanks! It was kind of fun. I’ve never called anyone mom or dad before, so it was cool pretending to be a family!”

Kakashi heard Kurisutaru huff a small laugh of amusement, but for him, the boy’s words settled in his stomach like rocks.

Even though he’d never known his mother, Kakashi did know the love of a father. Sakumo’s suicide was the first real pain Kakashi had dealt with in his life. The emptiness that came from that… well, it was probably similar to the emptiness Naruto felt all the time.

Naruto didn’t know it, but Kakashi had watched over him a bit from the shadows whenever he was in the village. He had never made himself known to the kid, convinced he would die on a mission. ANBU weren’t known for leading long lives.

And Kakashi’s desire to live had actually been pretty low at that point in time.

He supposed he still didn’t look forward to life the way most people did. He’d seen too much death, experienced too much pain.

But then, after three years, he passed his first genin team.

And suddenly, one day he realized it was becoming less effort to get out of bed. That he wasn’t plagued with nightmares every night. It was even easier to eat.

Because he had three little students waiting for him each day, yelling at him for being late.

I really should make more of an effort to be on time.

But… he might not get that chance.

He tried not to dwell on that fact while they rode.

Later, when they stopped for the night, Kakashi changed back into his uniform. He shivered as a light breeze hit his bare skin.

It wasn’t even cold out.

Kakashi bit his lip as he realized once again how much his body was failing him.

At least his uniform was a little warmer.

Kurisutaru was out setting wards up around their perimeter. Until she was done, the horses were each standing watch at pivotal points, leaving Naruto and Kakashi alone in the center.

When Kakashi walked back over, Naruto looked at him with a smile and pointed. “I made your bedroll, sensei!”

Kakashi smiled at him. “Thanks, Naruto.”

The kid was sitting on his on bedroll with his legs crossed. “Have you eaten yet, sensei?”

“No.” He chuckled, but there was no humor in his voice. “I… actually don’t remember the last time I ate.”

It was painful to see how much Naruto fought to keep his worry from showing on his face. “Oh… that’s ok, sensei. Here!” He pulled out a ration bar and tossed it to him.

Kakashi reached out…

… and missed.

The bar landed in the grass.

Kakashi stood there, feeling his limbs tremble slightly with exhaustion and embarrassment. Naruto no longer hid the worry on his face.

The silence was heavy and haunting.

Kakashi bent to pick up the bar, ignoring the pain in his joints and the tremor of his hands. “Have you done any training?” he asked before Naruto could say anything.

“Being on the road doesn’t allow much time for training, sensei.”

Kakashi chuckled. “Well, you want to get stronger, right? Making excuses won’t accomplish that. So train wherever you can.”

Naruto sat up straighter. “You’re right! I can’t slack off if I’m gonna be Hokage!”

“Why don’t you practice your chakra breathing?”

“Ok!” Naruto placed his hands in the tiger sign and closed his eyes.

Kakashi smiled. His distraction worked. Now Naruto had something else to focus on rather than his dying sensei.

He settled on his bedroll, only managing held the ration bar. He wrapped the rest of it up and put it in his flak jacket. Then he laid down and pulled his blanket over him.

He tried to sleep.

But the lack of fire was uncomfortable.

The night wasn’t warm, but it was by no means cool enough to be uncomfortable, had Kakashi been at full strength.

And if he was and had felt chilly, he would have simply burned some chakra to raise his body temperature to keep himself comfortable through the night.

But that was impossible now.

His body kept shivering, trying to warm itself. He curled onto his side and wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to conserve as much of his body heat as possible.

There was a shuffling sound behind him and then Kakashi felt the drape of another blanket settling on top of him.

“N-Naruto, what are you doing?” Kakashi asked, fighting to keep his teeth from chattering.

“You’re cold, sensei,” the quiet voice said.

That wasn’t quite right, Kakashi was freezing.

“But —”

He felt Naruto place a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, I’m good, alright? Really. But you need to rest. And you can’t do that if you’re shivering all night.”

Kakashi sighed, once again feeling like a burden. But the second blanket was already helping.

“Besides,” Naruto continued, “you’d do the same for me, or anyone else.”

Kakashi closed his eye, knowing that was true. “Thank you, Naruto.”

“No problem.”

He heard the kid settle down and realized that he was lying next to him. Not near enough to touch but close enough he could benefit a little from Naruto’s body heat.

His body was still chilly, but the warmth in his heart soothed him to sleep.

Chapter Text

They had failed.

Kakashi sensei was dead.

The walk back to the Leaf was silent. Naruto couldn’t look at Miyuna, couldn’t bear to see the body that lay on her back, respectfully wrapped in clean linen.

It was raining, gentle thunder racing through the clouds. Naruto didn’t care that his clothes were soaked, that his cheeks were red from tears that never seemed to stop rolling from his eyes.

Because they had failed.

No…

He had failed.

The gates to the village came into view. Naruto walked through them, his burden heavy. Sasuke and Sakura were there waiting for him. He could barely look at them, he had broken his promise. He had said Kakashi sensei was coming back alive.

Instead, they had carried his body home.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Sakura fell to her knees, the sobbing scream that erupted from her piercing the air, louder than the thunder above. Sasuke gritted his teeth and just turned around, walking away without a single word.

A hand touched Naruto’s shoulder. Looking up, he saw it was Guy sensei.

“You did your best,” he said. But the lightness that always seemed to be there was gone and Naruto realized he had let him down, too.

The Hokage was there, his wide brimmed hat keeping him safe from the rain. He and Kurisutaru exchanged quiet words.

She had kept her promise. She had only said she would bring Kakashi home… regardless.

Back to the village he loved.

The Hokage turned around, his eyes hooded, looking older than his already advanced years. Naruto understood then he had let him down as well.

Guy sensei walked up to Miyuna and lifted the body off her back, relieving her of her sad burden. Tears flowed down out of her large eyes as she and Guy exchanged a wordless nod.

Naruto watched as Guy sensei turned and started the trek through the village, carrying who he had told the kids was his best friend. A task no one should have to do, one he wouldn’t have needed to do had Naruto not broken his promise.

Kurisutaru and Miyuna left, their sad duty completed. The Hokage slowly followed Guy. Sakura clawed her fingers in the dirt, wailing.

And Naruto stood there, a sickening emptiness filling him, feeling more alone than ever.

And for someone who knew what true loneliness was, it was a sad place to be indeed.

*******

It was the day of Kakashi sensei’s funeral.

It was raining. Normally the weather in Konoha was quite pleasant and mild, but it was like the village itself could not stop weeping for the loss of the lone wolf.

Naruto was sitting down, leaning his back against the post he had been tied to that day long ago. That day when Kakashi had tested them, that day he had passed them and they had officially become Team 7.

He sat there, his mind consumed with memories as he stared at the Memorial Stone. The stone that held so much importance for his sensei, so much so that he had made sure they knew about it, knew its significance.

He had even told them his best friend’s name was on it.

But he had never told them who. Naruto could read and stare at the names, but he would never know which one was precious to his sensei.

Naruto knew that Kakashi had come to this place often. And now he was here too, probably doing the same thing his sensei had done.

Remembering the past.

Thinking of mistakes and broken promises.

Naruto rubbed his thumb over the Leaf symbol on his headband, staring at it. All his life he had wanted to be a ninja, wanted to be the best and strongest Hokage.

But the Hokage was someone who saved people. Someone who kept his promises.

And Naruto had shown that he couldn’t do either of those things.

Sighing, Naruto stood, retying his headband on his forehead, wondering if he was even worthy to wear it.

The funeral would be starting soon, he needed to get going.

He walked slowly to the Hokage Tower. Judging eyes followed him as he went past. He was used to that, the people had judged and hated him for years for harboring the Nine Tails.

But now those eyes held a different hate. Because one of their greatest protectors was gone and it was Naruto’s fault.

For once, he agreed with their angry stares.

He made his way to the top of the tower, finding Sasuke and Sakura at the front and standing between them.

“You’re late,” Sasuke told him bluntly.

Naruto shrugged. “I just got lost on the path of life.”

Sakura made a choked sound. “Don’t say that,” she whispered harshly, her body shaking as tears spilled out of her eyes.

The rain continued to fall. Naruto stared at the picture of his sensei that sat above his coffin. It was just his official photo, complete with Jonin uniform and tilted headband. It showed nothing of the warm, kind person he knew his sensei truly was.

He wished he could see him smile again. Kakashi sensei had such a kind smile, one that made Naruto believe everything was all right in the world, and he knew it had carried the same power for his teammates.

White lightning cracked across the sky. Kakashi’s ninken howled, their agony and sadness at the loss of their master plain and piercing the hearts of all in attendance.

It came time to lay the flowers they held onto Kakashi’s coffin. Normally, family would go first. Sadly, like Naruto (and Sasuke), Kakashi had none. But as the ones who had been with him, had loved him, had cared for him, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura had insisted they stand in his family’s place. The Hokage hadn’t had the heart to refuse them.

So now, Naruto walked up with his teammates. Sakura was sniffling and Sasuke was more distant than ever. Naruto could feel his silent tears running down his whiskered cheeks as the three of them laid their flowers down in perfect unison, as if they had rehearsed for hours on end.

Of course they hadn’t though. Of course they only came together as one in moments where it truly mattered, at odds with each other any other time.

They came together again at the funeral’s end, standing around Kakashi’s memorial stone in the cemetery. It bore his name and the title “The Copy Ninja” along with his birth and death dates, but those were blurry for some reason, too blurry for Naruto to make out.

He didn’t know when Sasuke and Sakura had left. But he stayed for a few more hours, not knowing what else to do. He had never lost a family member before. Of course, he had never known his real family, but Team 7 and Iruka sensei were the closest he had. And he had lost one of the few people who had never looked at him as the Demon Fox, but just simply as Naruto.

Naruto had a feeling he would be coming here often.

At some point, he found himself wandering through Kakashi’s apartment. He knew he was technically trespassing, as the apartment and its contents were now owned by the village, but he didn’t care. If he were here, Kakashi would probably understand, so that was permission enough.

The apartment felt empty and cold, even though it sat in its original neatness. Kakashi’s bed was made, the green shuriken patterned blanket laid out so perfectly there wasn’t even one wrinkle. He sat on the edge of the bed, remembering the late night conversation he had shared with his sensei not too long ago.

‘I won’t abandon you,’ Kakashi had said.

But Naruto felt abandoned. He felt alone. The plant that sat on Kakashi’s headboard had long withered… it was gone, too.

Kakashi’s beloved Icha Icha book sat next to Team 7’s photo. Naruto picked it up, rubbing his thumb along the worn, orange corner. He remembered when Kakashi had first pulled it out, when they had their bell test. He had been reading, dodging all of Naruto’s attacks, even catching two shuriken on his fingers, with barely a glance from the smutty pages.

‘Hey, I’m not gone forever.’

That was something else Kakashi had said to him that night. He gripped the book tight.

Kakashi might be dead, but he wouldn’t be truly gone, because he would live on in Naruto’s memories.

Naruto clutched the book to his chest and sobbed.

*******

“Naruto! Hey, Naruto!”

Naruto bolted upright, shaking. He touched his cheek, feeling tears. He was breathing heavily and he felt the grass beneath his fingers.

Had he been dreaming? How did he get outside? When did he leave sensei’s apartment?

A hand touched his shoulder. “Hey, you all right?”

That voice… it couldn’t be…

He turned and saw the familiar sights of silver hair, mask, and tilted headband.

“K-Kakashi sensei!”

Kakashi nodded, his gray eye worried. “You ok? You looked like you were having quite the nightmare.”

Naruto fell into his sensei’s chest, wrapping his arms around his waist, shuddering as fresh tears fell. “Kakashi sensei, you can’t die!”

Shocked, Kakashi went completely still. Then he said, very quietly, “I don’t plan to.”

“No, you can’t die! You can’t! Promise that you won’t die!”

“Naruto, I can’t —“

“Promise!”

He felt Kakashi sigh. Hesitate arms wrapped around his back that, after a moment, gripped him tight and Kakashi dropped his head to Naruto’s shoulder.

Naruto so desperately wanted to hear his sensei promise that he wouldn’t die, that everything was going to be okay. But even through the bulky vest he could feel the weight his sensei had lost, could feel the tremor that ran through his body.

Kakashi was suffering. And he wouldn’t make a promise if he didn’t fully believe he could keep it.

‘Don’t you worry, guys! Kakashi sensei’s coming back just fine, you can count on it! That’s a promise from Naruto Uzumaki!’

Naruto bit his lip and shuddered.

He would keep his promise.

Kakashi sensei would live!

After all, Naruto was the future Hokage.

And a Hokage didn’t break his promises, no matter what.

Believe it!

Chapter Text

More than anything, Kakashi wanted to promise Naruto he wouldn’t die.

But he wouldn’t make a promise he didn’t know he could keep. He had made that mistake once before.

And it had yielded horrible results.

He shook his head, forcefully beating back the memory of his hand through Rin’s chest and the promise he had broken.

I’m sorry, Obito.

He had lost count of how many times he’d apologized to the ghost. But no matter how many times he did, forgiveness never came.

He’d had no words of comfort for Naruto, no encouragement. How could he, when his own hope was so small?

The boy, however, had seemed to reclaim his own hope quite quickly. He had pulled away from Kakashi with a satisfied hum and looked at him with determination in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, sensei,” he’d said. “I always keep my promises.”

And now he was looking down at the sleeping boy, trying to hope that he was right.

“Are you all right, Kakashi?” a soft voice asked behind him.

Miyuna.

Kakashi huffed a pitiful laugh. “I wish I knew.”

The kind horse walked up behind him. “You should go back to sleep.”

“I know.” She was right, but Kakashi knew he wouldn’t sleep.

Miyuna seemed to sense this. “Would you like to sit with me while I take my watch?”

Not having anything better to do, Kakashi agreed. He followed her to the edge of their ward perimeter. It was a peaceful night… the cicadas were chirping and an owl was hooting in the distance.

“You’ve grown up a lot since I last saw you,” Kakashi commented.

Miyuna chuckled. “Yes, I was only a filly when you rescued me.” She looked at him. “You’ve changed, too.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. You’re not as sad as you used to be.”

Kakashi chuckled ruefully. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“I am. I can smell it.” She looked at him. “It’s the kids.”

Kakashi stayed silent.

It was true, he really liked his kids. He was afraid to say he loved them… the people he loved usually had a way of disappearing by death. And he didn’t want that for them.

Miyuna turned her gaze forward. “How long have you been a sensei, Kakashi?”

He sighed. “Technically? Three years. But I’ve only ever passed my current genin team.”

She nodded. “I see. Why is that?”

“They were the only ones who passed my test for teamwork.”

Even though their teamwork was still a work in progress, as it completely fell apart sometimes, it was improving. And it hadn’t escaped Kakashi that their teamwork did not falter when it was mission critical.

If only I’d learned that lesson earlier…

Kakashi shivered, pushing down the unpleasant memory of his failure that cost Obito his life.

But then other memories flooded Kakashi’s consciousness…

“I’m here!”

“You’re late again!” Kakashi moaned.

Obito put his hands on his goggles. “Yeah, well, I would have been on time, but these kids needed help catching their puppy and—”

“Excuses! It’s always excuses with you! You’ll never be Hokage if you keep making excuses.”

“Yeah, well at least I’ll be Hokage! The first Uchiha Hokage and my face will be on the Stone Wall along with my trademark goggles!”

Nearby, Rin chuckled.

Obito looked at her. “What?”

She shook her head, smiling. “Nothing.”

“Alright, we’re all assembled,” Minato said. “This mission is relatively simple. We’ll be helping out at a nearby farm.”

“This doesn’t sound like a very important mission,” Obito commented, crossing his arms.

Minato’s smile was kind. “Every mission is important, even the D-ranks.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m ready for something harder! Kakashi’s already been on A-rank missions! Why is he so special?”

“Maybe because I actually show up on time!”

“Oh, shut up!”

“What will we be doing on the farm, sensei?” Rin asked, obviously trying to get them to refocus.

“Whatever is needed, we’ll find out when we arrive. Now let’s move out.”

They soon arrived. Minato and Rin were helping with the harvest of corn, while Kakashi and Obito were tasked with clearing stumps from a field.

“I’ll bet I can move more stumps than you!”

Kakashi glared at Obito. “It’s not a competition! Jeez, you sound just like Guy!”

Obito smirked. “What, are you chicken?”

Kakashi jerked. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me. Are. You. Chicken?”

Kakashi scoffed. “No.”

“Then prove it!”

“Fine.” Kakashi whipped out a kunai, cut his thumb, then made a series of signs. “Summoning jutsu!” he shouted, slamming his hand on the ground.

In a poof of smoke, Bull appeared with a happy bark.

Obito threw his hands up. “What?!? Since when did you get a summoning???”

“Since I was five. My father showed me before…” Kakashi trailed off, then shook his head once, vigorously. “Anyway, you’d have known if you ever paid attention!”

“No fair! That gives you a clear advantage and makes our competition one-sided!”

“This is still a mission, idiot! And the mission is the priority. A ninja must use all the skills and equipment at his disposal in order to complete it.”

Obito growled, but he didn’t argue. He knew Kakashi was right.

Six hours later, both boys were sitting at the edge of the field, panting. Rin was tending to the cuts and scrapes on Obito’s hands and Minato was supporting Kakashi with a hand on his shoulder.

Minato’s expression was one of disappointment. “Well, this didn’t really work out, did it?”

“What… are you… talking about, sensei?” Kakashi asked between heaving breaths. “We… got the… field cleared.”

“And I… would have… won had you… not cheated!”

“I didn’t… cheat!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Enough!” Minato commanded. “Obito, you overtaxed yourself moving stumps that were too big for you to do alone. But rather than ask Kakashi for help, you stubbornly continued, and were far less efficient.

“And you, Kakashi. It was a good idea to use your Earth jutsu to get the stumps out of the ground and summon Bull to drag them out, but you’ve depleted a severe amount of chakra in the process. You’re shaking so bad I know you couldn’t stand right now even if you wanted to. It’s the hospital for you when we get back.”

“At least we… completed the mission,” Kakashi huffed.

“And at what cost?” Minato asked. Even though he was being stern, his voice never lost that caring gentleness that he was known for. “You’ve been on B and A rank missions. I would have expected more common sense from you. You might be a skilled ninja, but you still have a lot to learn.”

Obito laughed at Kakashi’s scolding. “See? You’re not as high and mighty as you think you are!”

“You also have a lot to learn, Obito,” Minato told him. “Instead of working together, you made this a competition to prove yourself. Missions can and do involve life or death situations. You cannot lose sight of a mission’s importance at the chance of personal gain.”

Obito hung his head. “Sorry, sensei.”

Kakashi stayed silent.

Minato sighed. “Well, there’s nothing left to be done. Our mission was accomplished, even if teamwork wasn’t. Let’s go home.”

…

Kakashi sighed.

Even after that I still didn’t learn my lesson. I didn’t learn it until it was too late.

“Kakashi?”

Kakashi blinked, realizing it wasn’t the first time Miyuna had said his name. “Oh… yes?”

“Are you all right? You seemed a million miles away.”

“Sorry.”

Miyuna looked up at the stars. “I’m the one who must apologize. I sensed Naruto’s distress earlier and I heard your conversation. Forgive me, it wasn’t my place.”

“There is nothing to forgive,” Kakashi told her honestly.

There was a moment of silence.

“He really cares about you,” she told him. “I don’t know the others hardly at all, but I could sense their deep love for you as well.” She looked at him. “Why are you afraid of it?”

Kakashi didn’t bother trying to deny it. A horse’s sense of smell wasn’t as keen as a dog’s, but was still highly sensitive. He only closed his eye. “Because death has claimed everyone I once held dear,” he said slowly.

“Ah. I understand. But Kakashi, you are not a curse. You are not death’s messenger. I know you wish to protect the kids, but take care you are not destroying yourself.”

Kakashi chuckled pitifully. “My body is being destroyed as we speak.”

“Do not lose hope, Kakashi. I have full faith in my mistress. She will find a way to save you.”

He sighed. “I guess we’ll find out soon, won’t we?”

Exhaustion washed over Kakashi like a tidal wave. He swayed a little.

Miyuna sensed this and wrapped her head around him, gently pushing him against her neck. “Lean on me,” she told him quietly.

He obeyed as the horse sank to the ground, guiding him down before his trembling knees gave out. She tossed her head and her long mane flipped over to cover his shoulders.

“Sleep,” she said softly.

Kakashi drifted off before he had a chance to fight it.

Chapter Text

Naruto wasn’t one to dwell on nightmares.

But this one had been different. Because there was a chance this one could come true.

He caught Kakashi giving him watchful glances as they ate their breakfast and he smiled each time. His sensei didn’t need to worry about him.

There was nothing to worry about, anyway. Naruto kept his promises, so Kakashi was going to live.

He had to.

Naruto didn’t have many people in his life who accepted him. Kakashi was one of those few who did. Sure, he was hard on him sometimes, but he was on Sasuke and Sakura, too. He protected each one of them with the same diligence and devotion.

Naruto was not about to lose that.

Once breakfast was done, they hit the road. Kakashi was quiet, but that was nothing new. Kurisutaru seemed too focused on the journey. Takeshi also didn’t seem to talk a lot.

But Naruto was not a kid who did well in silence. And he did not want to talk to Bunta.

So, he carried on his conversation with Miyuna from the day before. The horse was kind and he liked her.

At this point they were riding very close together on the trail. Naruto noticed Takeshi tilt his head. “Milady…”

“I already know.”

Naruto was curious. “Know what?”

Kurisutaru looked at Kakashi, who then looked at Naruto.

“We’re being followed.”

Naruto gaped. “What?!?”

Kurisutaru glared at him. “Keep your voice down!” she hissed.

Bunta snorted. “If you’d have shut your yap long enough and paid attention, you might have realized that.”

“Oh yeah? So I suppose you knew?”

“Of course. I could smell them.”

“Enough,” Kurisutaru commanded. “The enemy is close and have more fighting numbers than us.”

“There are five of them,” Kakashi stated.

“Six,” Takeshi corrected.

“Oh.” Kakashi dropped his gaze.

Naruto knew why. And it scared him.

Because in all the time he’d known him, Kakashi had never made a mistake like that.

“Wait,” he said, looking at Kurisutaru, wanting divert the attention from Kakashi’s mistake, “we’re not outnumbered. There’s six of them and six of us. So it’s even!”

“Think again, kid. Miyuna and Bunta are very loyal, but they’re not fighters. And Kakashi is far from fighting strength. So that leaves just Takeshi, myself… and you.”

Naruto looked at Kakashi, who he suspected was purposely not looking at him.

Whenever Team 7 got into a sticky situation, Kakashi was who they looked to. He was who they depended on.

“They will probably attack when we reach the field that’s ahead,” Kurisutaru said. “When we’re more exposed.”

“Why wouldn’t they attack us now?” Naruto wanted to know.

“It is possible that the jutsu they want to use requires the open space,” Takeshi said.

“Then we should attack first!” Naruto put his hands in the appropriate sign. “Shadow clone —”

Bunta reached around and bit his toes.

“Ow!” He growled. “What was that for?”

“Keep your voice down!” Kurisutaru hissed again.

“But he bit me!”

“Yeah, because you’re stupid,” Bunta said. “I may not be a fighter, but even I’m smart enough to know not to rush in without a plan.”

Naruto made a noise of frustration. Mostly because he realized Bunta was right.

Kakashi cleared his throat. “I know I’m not able to fight, but I still think I can help.”

Kurisutaru raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I have a plan.”

*******

Kakashi had always been a good tactician. That, at least, was a skill he hadn’t lost.

They had stopped so that Naruto could go into the woods to relieve himself. But that was actually part of the plan.

Naruto, under the veil of the forest, would create six shadow clones. The six enemies following them were quite adept at changing their positions. It was a good tactic, it made them less predictable and harder for most people to attack.

But Kakashi Hatake wasn’t most people.

Naruto came back from relieving himself. Bunta rolled his eyes. “About time.”

“Shut up,” Naruto grumbled as he climbed back onto the pony.

They began to move down the trail again. It was all a part of the plan.

Suddenly, puffs of smoke popped up around the forest, followed by loud coughing and cursing. Kakashi felt a surge of pride as he counted six smoke bomb explosions… Naruto’s clones had successfully located each one and exposed them. They could no longer hide in the shadows and were forced into the open.

Now, the battle was afoot.

“Now, Naruto!” he yelled as he gripped Miyuna’s mane.

“Right!” The boy leapt off of Bunta’s back, kunai in hand.

“Let’s go!” Miyuna shouted, sprinting off into a gallop.

Luckily, Kurisutaru knew these woods and had told them of a rock face that was nearby they could hide behind. Bunta was on their heels.

When Miyuna dove behind the rocks, Kakashi slipped off her back, a little shaky on his trembling legs, but standing. He braced himself against the rock, his eye on the battle before them.

He might not be able to fight, but maybe he could still help in some way.

Kurisutaru had her sword drawn, holding Takeshi’s mane in one hand as they cantered in a zig zag design, taking down three of the enemies that had quickly dispensed with Naruto’s clones. When she approached the fourth enemy, he easily dodged her attack. He bit his thumb and Kakashi knew with sickening certainty what was about to happen.

“Summoning Jutsu!”

A large tiger appeared, growling ferociously.

The tide of the battle had just turned.

Kurisutaru leapt off of Takeshi’s back, engaging the ninja in an epic sword duel to the death. Takeshi leapt in to fight the tiger without a moment’s hesitation, using his quickness to land kicks and dodge claws.

Kakashi shifted his gaze, desperately trying to locate his student…

…and sighed when he saw Naruto transform using his Sexy Jutsu.

Miyuna gasped and Bunta grunted.

“I knew he was an idiot,” the pony mumbled.

But the enemy yelled and collapsed in complete shock, blood running out of his nose as Naruto transformed back and giggled.

Bunta blew air out of his muzzle. “Huh.”

Kakashi chuckled. “I’m learning to never underestimate the Leaf Village’s Number One Hyperactive Knucklehead Ninja.”

The pony huffed a small laugh. “I never heard a title more fitting.”

*******

Who knew there were so many freaking perverts in the world? Naruto thought as the enemy fell victim to his Sexy Jutsu.

That ninja would be down for a while.

Kurisutaru and Takeshi were fighting a ninja and… a tiger?

Where did THAT come from?

He didn’t have time to worry about it. Even though their battles were fierce, it was clear they could handle them. Which meant there was one more enemy.

Naruto turned, facing the last ninja. He raised his hands, about to preform signs.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Naruto yelled, throwing his kunai to interrupt his focus.

But the enemy only leapt out of the way and grinned, slamming his hands together in the last sign, which was mi.

Naruto’s heart raced as he heard the chilling sound of chakra wire tightening.

It’s a trap!

Naruto leapt high into the air, but the enemy had predicted his move, as a kunai was already racing towards him.

Too quick for him to counter.

I’m stuck in the air… I can’t dodge it! Oh man, I’m really done for!

He closed his eyes, terrified of watching his death loom closer to him.

Suddenly, there was a rush of air behind him and he felt a set of arms grab him and pull, drawing him away from the line of fire. He peeled his eyes open in time to see the kunai whiz past, missing its target.

He felt himself being clutched against a strong chest… there was something familiar and comforting about the hold. He turned his gaze to see his rescuer…

… and yelped when he was met by the blazing blood red of a single Sharingan eye.

Chapter Text

Naruto’s heart was pounding in his chest, fear gripping his stomach, tears looming at the corner of his eyes. He wanted to scream as he stared at his beloved sensei, not wanting to believe what he was seeing.

Kakashi sensei shouldn’t be using any chakra! It could kill him!

Naruto suddenly felt very, very guilty for falling for the enemy’s trap.

There was a flurry of shuriken headed towards them. Naruto felt Kakashi grip him tightly in his left arm as his right blocked Naruto’s face from being impaled with three shuriken. Kakashi grunted as the weapons embedded themselves in his arm.

Naruto could smell his precious sensei’s blood.

Kakashi cradled him, determined to keep him safe. Damn it all! What was all his training for, if Kakashi had to rescue him? The Hokage had trusted him to keep Kakashi safe and Naruto had blown it.

Naruto felt Kakashi twist in the air and then they slammed into a tree. Naruto had the benefit of Kakashi’s strong arms and soft flak vest to soften the blow. But Kakashi took the full force along his back, his head shooting up, unable to stop a small cry of pain from escaping his lips.

A cry he never would have uttered had he been healthy.

Kakashi slid bonelessly down the trunk, Naruto safe and unharmed in his lap.

Naruto heard the heaving gulps of air Kakashi was desperately sucking into his lungs. He could feel the tremors in his body. He looked up, seeing the sweat beading on his exposed cheeks.

Cheeks…

Kakashi’s Sharingan was still open!

He wasn’t closing his eye. He looked lost, unfocused.

The chakra he needed to live was the same chakra that was spilling out of him each second the Sharingan remained open.

Naruto reached up and grabbed his headband, quickly covering the cursed red eye. Kakashi’s shoulders sagged at the immediate relief. His head dropped low and he groaned deeply. For a heart stopping moment, Naruto was afraid Kakashi would actually fall over on top of him, but his teacher shuddered and straightened with obvious effort.

“Thanks, Naruto,” he whispered, his natural eye closed.

Naruto felt his heart pounding. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” Despite the reassuring answer, Naruto could tell Kakashi had needed to push the word out of his throat.

“W-why?” he asked, his voice trembly.

Kakashi gave him a small smile. “I thought… I told you once… that I don’t allow my comrades… to die,” he said quietly, his breath still coming in gasps.

That memory of when they’d first faced Zabuza flooded Naruto’s mind. How he’d stated those words, how he’d smiled at them, how he’d shown with his actions that they could, indeed, trust him.

And there were hints of that same smile there now, even if Naruto could see the flecks of pain that licked his sensei’s features.

It made his heart hurt.

Hurt with love. Hurt with guilt. Hurt with the weight of his promise.

Naruto wriggled his way out of his sensei’s arms. Placing his hand on his right shoulder, he guided Kakashi to lay on his side. The man folded limply, no longer gasping, but still breathing much too heavily.

“Stay down.” It felt weird, him giving Kakashi an order. But that’s exactly what it was.

And right now he couldn’t worry about the fact that Kakashi seemed too weak to argue about it.

*******

Kakashi was too weak to argue about it. Shaking, he obeyed his student, knowing now he was completely useless. His body was already cramping painfully, letting him know in no uncertain terms that it did not appreciate the harsh chakra drain it had just endured.

But Kakashi didn’t care. Naruto was alive and that’s what really mattered.

His right arm throbbed with the pain of the shuriken embedded in it, but that wasn’t important at the moment. He couldn’t concern himself with that now, nor could he worry about the tremors coursing through his body as his chakra thinned in his network, trying to keep the newly reduced amount circulating through all his vital points. His weakened state had probably caused him to lose about ten percent… quite a lot considering his current condition.

“Naruto!” he called out, noticing the enemy had thrown kunai at them. The boy turned and quickly deflected each one.

Good job, kid.

He watched as Naruto created ten shadow clones, then they all bounded forward back into battle.

Even though Naruto was sporadic and unpredictable, he learned from his mistakes. Kakashi knew he wouldn’t fall for the same trap again.

Or, at least, he hoped he wouldn’t.

Because now he couldn’t move and was truly completely useless.

The ninja that Naruto had taken down with his Sexy Jutsu stirred. Kakashi quickly looked over the battlefield.

Naruto was still engaged with his enemy. And Kurisutaru and Takeshi were still fighting their battles.

There was no one to help him as the brute staggered to his feet, rubbing the blood off his face that had spilled out of his nose earlier. He noticed Kakashi’s prone form and drew a kunai.

Shit!

Kakashi barely had time to fumble in his weapons pouch to get his own kunai before the enemy rushed him. And with a surge of energy he didn’t know he had, Kakashi sat up and blocked him, the sharp scratching of metal tickling his ears as each man pushed against the other’s blade.

“Ah, Kakashi Hatake, the Copy Ninja,” the brute identified. “I never thought I would ever have the honor of facing you.”

He gritted his teeth. “Too bad you won’t live long enough to tell anyone about it.”

The man chuckled. “Really? You’re that sure? Well, I heard a rumor that you couldn’t fight as a shinobi anymore.”

Kakashi narrowed his eye. “You should have double checked your source,” he spat, trying to shake his confidence.

“Mmm,” he mused thoughtfully, “I think my source can be trusted. I’ve heard the tales of your fighting prowess. And it seems your little stunt to save that pitiful brat has taken quite a bit of your strength. That doesn’t match up to the legend of the Copy Ninja.”

Kakashi grunted as the enemy pushed against him harder, gaining ground as his shaking body weakened.

Damn!

The brute grinned, so clearly seeing his frailty. “Now, die!”

He drew back, ready to plunge his kunai into Kakashi’s belly. Kakashi wanted to counter, but his body was reacting too slowly.

He was going to die.

“Get away from my sensei!”

Suddenly, a burst energy came forth in front of him with such force that the strong gust of wind it made caused Kakashi to grunt. The enemy jumped back shielding his face.

“What the devil?” he shouted.

Kakashi’s heart clenched.

Devil, indeed.

Because standing in front of him, was Naruto. Orange chakra swirled around him, smelling of anger, power, and death. His eyes had changed from friendly blue to hot red. His whiskers had become more prominent and his nails curled into claws.

The last time Kakashi had seen the hint of the Nine Tails coming forth had been when Naruto was fighting Haku.

Kakashi glanced over, noticing that three of Naruto’s clones had tied the other enemy up and were in the process of gagging him. He was no longer a threat. But he couldn’t focus on that for long because the Naruto in front of him, with fangs forming in his mouth, threw his head back and roared.

The brute trembled. “What the…”

He didn’t have time to finish his sentence. Naruto rushed forward with a burst of speed that Kakashi would have only been able to follow with his Sharingan. The enemy’s face locked in a scream that never came, blood trickling out of his mouth. He sagged to the right, falling to the ground.

Naruto growled over his prey, his tongue licking his lips with hateful desire. He turned towards Kurisutaru right when she finally succeeded in plunging her sword in her opponent’s belly. He screamed, the fatal blow interrupting his chakra, causing his tiger to disappear.

The battle had been won. They had succeeded.

But the beast that dwelled within Naruto clearly had wanted to taste more blood. The kid roared… or was it the fox?

“Easy, Naruto,” Kakashi said, keeping his voice calm.

The red eyes snapped to him, full of so much anger and malice that Kakashi’s heart actually skipped a beat. He stayed still, not sure how much Naruto was present.

But the boy seemed to register him. Eyes staying locked on him, his breathing started to slow and the orange chakra began to dissipate. His pupils went from slits back to full circles and the familiar blue returned. He then looked at the enemy who was still lying crumpled on the ground.

“Kakashi sensei?” His voice was a little unstable.

Kakashi followed his gaze. Sticking out of the man’s chest was a kunai, in a fatal blow to the heart. Naruto stared at his hand, which was covered in the enemy’s blood. He pulled it into a fist, shaking.

Kakashi sighed.

He had known this day would come. It came for all ninja at some point.

His student had just committed his first kill.

Chapter Text

The battle was over.

Miyuna and Bunta came out from behind the rocks, surveying the battle. Kakashi watched the pony walk up to Naruto, who was still staring at his blood-stained fist.

“Good job there, kid.”

“Huh?” Naruto seemed dazed.

Bunta cocked his head, but not in annoyance. He looked concerned. “I said, good job.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

Kurisutaru was wiping her blade clean on the clothing of her fallen opponent. “Takeshi, Naruto! Round up the ones that are still alive. I have a plan for them.”

Miyuna made his way up to him. “Are you all right, Kakashi?” she asked, her voice filled with concern.

“I think so,” he told her. He moved to get to his feet, but a wave of dizziness hit him and he listed sideways.

Miyuna quickly lowered her head, preventing him from falling. “Perhaps you should just… sit here for now.”

He closed his eye, inhaling a shaky breath. The use of his Sharingan had definitely weakened him greatly. But he had absolutely no regrets. He never hesitated to put his life on the line for a comrade… especially when that comrade was his sensei’s son.

He heard shuffling in front of him. He opened his eye to see Naruto in front of him, digging in his backpack and pulling out the first aid kit. He straightened and Miyuna stopped supporting him.

“You need to help Kurisutaru,” he told Naruto gently.

“My clones are on it,” the boy said quietly. “Besides, we need to get your wounds cleaned and bandaged as soon as possible. You can’t risk getting an infection.”

Kakashi knew the kid was right.

“All right. Clean your hands with one of the alcohol wipes first, ok?”

Naruto tore one of the packets open and even through his mask the sharp scent assaulted his sensitive nostrils. He marveled at how thorough Naruto was cleaning his hands, even making sure to get under his nails. The kid noticed and grinned sheepishly.

“Sakura’s been reading medical books lately. Once when you were sleeping, she drilled Sasuke and I on cleaning wounds in the field.”

Kakashi nodded his approval. “That’s very wise.”

“It sounds like you have very good students, Kakashi,” Miyuna said approvingly.

Kakashi smiled at Naruto, trying to lighten the mood. “I really do.”

He was rewarded with a brief flash of Naruto’s trademark smile.

“Hold out your arm, Kakashi sensei.”

Kakashi obeyed, his arm trembling. Naruto steadied it with one hand, while the other quickly plucked the shuriken free. It hurt, but Kakashi didn’t even wince… he was used to pain like this from a lifetime of fighting.

The boy pushed his bloodied sleeve up, exposing the wounds. He frowned. “I’m not an expert, but these seem to be bleeding more than they should.”

Kakashi nodded. “That’s not surprising. Chakra flow helps with blood clotting. So since I don’t have as much chakra as I should…”

He trailed off, seeing the worry deepen in his student’s blue eyes. He said nothing more as Naruto cleaned his wounds, set gauze on top of the punctures, then wrapped a bandage securely around his arm. His work was a little clumsy, but adequate.

Once he was done, Kakashi looked up, seeing that Kurisutaru and Naruto’s clones had the three attackers who had not been killed all bound and gagged and sitting with their backs to each other. Takeshi came up to the attacker that Naruto had killed. He took his hand in his mouth and proceeded to drag him to where the other two deceased enemies lay together in a careless pile.

“Naruto, you can release your clones,” Kurisutaru instructed. “I don’t need them anymore.”

They popped out of existence.

Kurisutaru walked up to Kakashi, eyes hard and narrow. “Don’t you dare pull a stunt like that again!” she scolded, pointing her finger at him for emphasis. “I’m not going to put my life on the line for you or inconvenience myself if you’re going to be stupid and use your chakra.”

Kakashi stayed quiet. His body felt heavy and his joints ached. He could feel weakness pulling at his elbows and knees… he wouldn’t be able to stand for another few minutes. His wounds were painful and his back was throbbing. He didn’t feel like arguing.

Naruto, however, didn’t feel such restraint. But he didn’t look up at Kurisutaru. His eyes stayed fixed on the grass as he murmured, “He was keeping a promise.”

Kurisutaru crossed her arms. “I don’t care if he made the promise to Buddha himself! It was reckless.”

“Don’t be mad at Kakashi sensei. It was my fault. I just… didn’t see that trap!” In frustration, Naruto punched the ground with his fist.

“When we get back, we’ll focus on spotting enemy traps,” Kakashi told him.

‘When we get back’, huh? You actually sound optimistic for once.

Naruto didn’t miss his sensei’s words. He looked up at him, first in shock, then a smile spread across his face. “Yeah!”

Kurisutaru put her hands on her hips. “That sounds like a good idea, but don’t use any chakra again, Kakashi. For any reason! Unless you’re that eager to go to the Pure Lands.”

There had been a time, not too long ago actually, when Kakashi hadn’t really cared if he died. Once dead, he’d be reunited with the precious people he’d lost.

But now…

Now, he didn’t want to die. Of course he wasn’t afraid to put his life on the line, but that life had a new purpose now, with three very adorable genin.

It seemed Kurisutaru was finished scolding him. She turned on her heel and walked over to the pile of dead ninja. She took out a scroll and knelt, sealing each one individually inside.

Naruto walked up to her. “What are you going to do with them?”

“I recognize these lowlifes. Every single one of them has a bounty on their head. It’s not much, but I’ll claim them nonetheless.”

“What about those guys?” the boy asked, pointing to where Takeshi stood guard over the bound captives.

“Oh, them?” Kurisutaru smirked as she tucked the scroll inside her pack. “They have bounties on their heads, too. But I have a special plan for them.”

Kakashi watched as Kurisutaru produced another sealing scroll, then proceeded to seal the remaining bandits inside. Kakashi knew it would be quite uncomfortable for them while they were in the scroll… being sealed was like sitting in a dark room with heavy air that physically pushed against every part of you, making it impossible to process anything, including one’s own thoughts.

Once done, she made the signs for the Summoning Jutsu and through the puff of smoke another horse appeared. She was tall and lean, with a golden coat that shone. She bowed her head.

“What is your command, milady?”

“Hayano, I have a mission for you. I need you to take this scroll to the Hidden Leaf. Tell the Hokage it’s a gift.”

“Of course, milady.”

Kurisutaru took a long piece of string and tied it around the scroll, then around the horse’s neck. “I want you to get there as quickly as you can. Make as few stops as you need. By the time you get there, we should have Kakashi in Kiiroi Tani. Please tell him that as well.”

“I will.”

Kurisutaru nodded. “Be swift.”

After she uttered those words, the golden mare spun on her heel and galloped off in the direction of the Leaf Village.

“All right,” Kurisutaru said, brushing off her hands, “is everyone ok? We should get back on the road.”

Kakashi drew his leg up and pushed to stand. His legs trembled, but they supported him.

He pretended not to notice Naruto’s eye on him.

“Do we need to worry about anyone else following us?” Bunta asked.

“I don’t think so,” Takeshi said. “We were only pursued from Tanoshī Machi and we’re in an area that’s not very populated. So we’re probably safe now.”

“Why did they attack us?” Naruto wanted to know.

“Because of me,” Kakashi told him.

The blonde looked at him. “Why?”

“Kakashi is wanted in every Bingo book outside the Fire Nation,” Kurisutaru said as she examined a cut on Takeshi’s shoulder. “It’s no surprise that news of his infirmity would eventually spread, making him an easier target for his enemies.”

“But these particular enemies underestimated our skill,” Takeshi said. “So Kakashi is safe.”

“He won’t truly be safe until we get to Kiiroi Tani,” Miyuna pointed out.

Kurisutaru straightened and leapt onto Takeshi’s back. “Then let’s mount up and head out. We can’t afford any more delays.”

Miyuna knelt so that Kakashi, with Naruto’s help, could mount. “I’m all right, Naruto.”

Naruto didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t say anything.

In fact, the kid was unusually quiet as they rode along. He barely spoke when they stopped to set up camp for the night. He ate in silence.

Something was wrong.

Kakashi didn’t know what to do about it. He tried talking to him, but the boy hadn’t engaged with him.

He laid down by the fire, trying to stay warm under his blanket. Kurisutaru, Takeshi, and Miyuna were all sleeping nearby. Naruto had gone into the woods to relieve himself.

Kakashi closed his eye and tried to sleep. But as exhausted as he was his thoughts kept him awake, the concern for his student occupying his mind.

He felt gentle, hot breath in his ear. He stirred, opening his eye to see Bunta looking down at him. The old pony had volunteered to take the first watch that night, which had been a change from his usual grumpy, uncooperative self.

“Sorry to disturb you, but it’s about the kid. I think he needs you.”

Kakashi gave a solemn nod and started to push himself up, but Bunta nudged him gently. “Grab my mane.”

He obeyed, arm trembling. The old pony pulled him to his feet and allowed Kakashi to lean on him as they walked away from the campsite.

“Where is he?”

“Down by the river.”

Kakashi stopped, releasing the pony. “I can manage from here.”

He narrowed a large eye at him and gave a snort, but said, “All right. I’ll go back to my watch.”

“Thanks, Bunta.”

Kakashi made his way down until a familiar orange jacket came into view. “Hey,” he called softly.

Naruto jerked around, startled. “Oh…hey, Kakashi sensei. Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he said, sitting down in the grass, relieving his aching legs. “But I think I know the answer.”

Naruto averted his gaze.

“Want to talk about it?”

Naruto clenched his fists. Kakashi waited patiently.

“I’ve been… thinking about Haku.”

“Oh?”

“When I was fighting him,” he began slowly, “he asked me to kill him. He basically begged me to kill him! But then he…”

Naruto broke off and Kakashi understood. Haku had thwarted Naruto’s attack to sacrifice himself to save Zabuza, dying by Kakashi’s hand instead.

“I didn’t want to kill Haku,” Naruto said quietly. “We were a lot alike. I actually told him if it’d been another time and place, I think we could have been… friends.”

“I understand,” Kakashi told him.

There was a moment of silence. Then Naruto continued, still speaking quietly. “When that assassin attacked you on our hike, I wanted to kill him. I went after him, but he was already dead.”

The blonde’s body began to shake. Kakashi stayed silent.

“I knew when I signed up for the life of a shinobi,” he said quietly, “that eventually, I’d have to kill. And I don’t regret what happened today. But…” Tears loomed in the blue orbs. “I honestly hope I don’t have to kill again.” He looked at Kakashi. “Does that make me… weak?”

“Not at all,” he told him, his voice gentle. “If anything, it makes you stronger.”

Naruto straightened slightly. “It does?”

Kakashi nodded. “It means you won’t kill just for the sake of doing it.” He patted the grass next to him. “Come here, Naruto. I need to ask you a very serious question.”

The genin walked over and sat beside his sensei. “What’s that?”

Kakashi took a breath. “If the situation called for it, could you do it again?”

Naruto stared off into the distance. His body started to tremble again. “Yeah,” he whispered. “And that’s what scares me.”

Kakashi gave a nod. “Good.”

The boy looked at him. “Huh?”

Kakashi placed his hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “It means you have a good heart. You will never kill without remorse, you will never lose the value of life.”

He gave a half smile. “I guess so.” He looked at his hands… his once innocent, now bloodstained, hands. “It just shocked me how… easy it was.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “Was it?”

Naruto looked at him, eyes wide, tears just starting to drip down whiskered cheeks. He might be considered an adult in the shinobi world, but right now Kakashi’s heart hurt to see just how young twelve years old really was to deal with heavy shit like this.

“Let it out, Naruto.”

And that was when the dam burst.

Naruto collapsed onto Kakashi’s chest and wailed. His entire body shook, tears spilling out and staining Kakashi’s vest. He weakly pounded a fist into the Jonin’s chest, his emotions completely overtaking him.

Kakashi wrapped his arms protectively around his student and held him. His heart twisted at Naruto’s cries, which were unlike anything he had ever heard from the normally carefree kid. He looked up at the stars, closing his eye each time Naruto howled.

He had no advice to give, no consolation. His own life was a mess of tragedy and death. He dealt with it by burying it as deep as he could, but it tore at his soul. He didn’t want that same fate for Naruto…the boy didn’t deserve that darkness.

He shouldn’t be the one comforting Naruto during this time. The boy should be in the arms of Minato and Kushina, of loving and understanding parents who lived and breathed the shinobi life. It was amazing…for all the kid had endured, growing up without them, never knowing them… how much he was like them. He had the pureness of both their hearts in his soul - Kushina’s undying feistiness and happiness, Minato’s eternal gentleness and determination. But he also had their bright spirits and their fierce desire to protect their village and their friends.

Slowly, Naruto’s cries lessoned, the heaving chest stilled, and he would only occasionally whimper. Then his breathing deepened and after a few moments, the tension in his shoulders lessoned and he dragged his sleeve across his cheeks. Kakashi loosened his hold, but did not yet let go. “Better?”

Naruto sighed. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “And also no.”

“That sounds about right,” Kakashi said, then turned away, a few coughs erupting from his chest.

Naruto sat up a bit in concern. “You ok, sensei?”

Kakashi turned back to him, gave him a smile. “Yeah, don’t worry about me.”

Naruto sat up all the way, forcing his sensei’s arms to release him. “You sure? I’ve never heard you cough before.”

“Everyone coughs, Naruto,” he said wryly.

“I guess that’s true,” he said, but his tone wasn’t convincing. He stood. “We should go back. You need to stay warm, this air is chilly for you.”

He reached out his hand and Kakashi accepted it as the boy helped him to his feet. But when he stood, he noticed Naruto didn’t let go of his hand. And he didn’t pull away.

“Can I… ask you a question, sensei?”

“Hmm?”

Naruto shuffled his feet. “Do you… do you remember the first time you killed?”

“Yes.” That was something no ninja ever forgot.

He nodded. He looked at Kakashi, eyes shining with unshed tears. “Does it ever get easier?”

Kakashi sighed. There were times when it was satisfying to kill. Kakashi had been ordered to destroy truly evil people before and there was also a satisfaction that came from that, because it kept people safe. But sometimes he had to kill someone because of their connections and sometimes an innocent civilian got caught in the crossfire.

Or your teammate steps in front of your deadly hand, forcing you to be the one to end her life…

Kakashi came back to himself, staring into blue eyes. Blue eyes that were hopeful, but held the finality he knew Kakashi’s answer would be.

“No, Naruto. No, It doesn’t.”

Chapter Text

The air was heavy.

Kakashi knew his words had done little to comfort Naruto. The boy still held onto his hand and Kakashi allowed it. Naruto needed comfort in this moment.

It was strange to see Naruto so quiet, to see him sad. The boy was usually full of smiles, big talk, and determination. It was strange to think that even though he was lonely, he was still happy.

Kakashi had only a few precious memories of being happy as a child. His father, Sakumo Hatake, had been the light in young Kakashi’s world. He knew his father was a powerful ninja, respected by all. He’d been proud to be the son of the White Fang.

And then came that fateful mission.

After that, Sakumo hadn’t been the same. Kakashi worked to be the best and strongest at the Academy, earning perfect marks and testing as a genius. He did it all to make his father proud, to see him smile again.

But he never had.

And then he’d come home from the Academy, excited to tell his father that he’d passed his genin exam, the youngest person to do so in the history of the village. But Sakumo never knew that accomplishment of his son.

Because that same day was when Kakashi had found his father lying in a pool of his own blood, killed in ritual suicide.

And because of that, Kakashi had grown up cold and distant, pushing people away. He convinced himself he didn’t need comforting. He steeled his resolve to becoming a strong shinobi, because a shinobi didn’t need useless things like emotions or relationships.

Naruto was the complete opposite. Rather than him pushing people away, people had pushed him away. They blamed and judged him for something the boy probably didn’t even yet know about himself. It was a fate he didn’t deserve, a life he never should have been forced to live.

I’m sorry, Minato sensei. I should have stayed. I should have left the ANBU and stayed with Naruto.

Naruto looked up at him. “Are you all right, sensei?”

“Hmmm?” Kakashi forced himself to smile. “Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

“Your hands are cold.”

Kakashi normally ran cool, but for his hands to feel cold through his gloves was unusual. He chuckled softly, hoping to keep the blonde from worrying too much. “I’m ok, Naruto.”

“No, you’re not,” he said quietly, almost to himself. He started walking up the hill, the pull of his hand encouraging Kakashi to do the same.

Walking up the soft incline was something that should have been easy for Kakashi to do. But now, his weakened body labored. His joints ached and his legs trembled as he pushed himself up the hill. He tried to keep his breathing steady, but enfeebled as he was, his body struggled. He was practically wheezing by the time they got to the top of the hill. Spots were dancing in his vision and the world swayed. His stomach churned, threatening to betray him at the dizziness.

He was going to pass out.

But before he collapsed, he felt small hands on his arms, guiding him to sit down.

He couldn’t protest even if he’d wanted to. He sat heavily, his body shaking.

“Bring your knees up, Kakashi sensei. Put your head between them.”

Kakashi obeyed. He tried to slow his breathing, feeling his heart race in his chest. Naruto was staying by his side and watching him intently.

After a few minutes, the dizziness receded. Kakashi looked up at the boy, whose eyes were wide with worry. “Thanks. I’m feeling better now.”

Naruto smiled. “That’s good!”

“Did you learn that from Sakura, too?”

“Yeah!”

Kakashi wondered if his little pink haired kunoichi really did have a talent for medical ninjutsu.

Too bad Lady Tsunade isn’t in the village anymore. If Sakura could focus her mind on her training more than chasing after Sasuke, she would make a good apprentice.

A set of trotting hoofbeats approached and Kakashi turned to see Bunta coming up to them. “You all right?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi said. He went to stand, but his legs wobbled. The old pony glided up against him, once again allowing him to use his neck for support. “Thanks.”

Bunta huffed. “Just obeying my mistress.”

Naruto stayed close to his side as they walked back to the campsite. Kakashi did his best to keep a semi-normal pace, but his body was tired and he ached terribly. By the time they made it to his bedroll, he sank down gracelessly, not able to fully stop his groan.

Naruto covered him with his blanket and Kakashi felt his chest squeeze with gratefulness and embarrassment. He closed his eye, not feeling like sleeping, but knowing that Naruto and Bunta would leave him alone if they thought he was.

He hated this.

He hated being weak. He hated needing so much help. He hated that he was basically useless.

He heard Naruto shuffle to his own bedroll with a long sigh.

“What’s on your mind, kid?” Bunta asked in a surprisingly gentle tone.

“I feel like all my training has been useless.”

“What makes you say that?”

He heard Naruto pick up a small stick and slide the end of it around aimlessly in the dirt. “Today wasn’t the first time Kakashi sensei has saved me when I was stuck in the air.”

“Mmm. What happened last time?”

“We were fighting this big powerful ninja named Zabuza.”

“Ah. I know who he is. Or, I should say, was.”

“Well, he’d captured Kakashi sensei. He was trapped in this weird ball of water. I don’t remember what it’s called.”

“Water Prison Jutsu.”

Kakashi repressed a shudder at the memory. He hadn’t expected to get distracted in that battle with Zabuza. But he was a formidable opponent and too powerful for his genin.

And Kakashi had to protect them. Which meant drawing Zabuza away. He had a large bruise on his chest that had stayed for a week from that kick, but it was nothing if it meant he could defeat Zabuza and keep his team safe.

But as it turned out, his team ended up rescuing him.

Kakashi listened to Naruto tell Bunta the story. He’d actually been so impressed at the teamwork he and Sasuke had executed, especially since they butted heads more often than not. But when it mattered, their teamwork had been flawless.

When Naruto was finished, he heard Bunta hum thoughtfully. “Sounds like you did pretty good, from what I’m hearing. I don’t understand why you’re beating yourself up over this.”

Huh, so the gruff pony had a gentle side.

Naruto sighed. “Because I made an oath of pain. I said that no one would have to rescue me again.” His voice lowered when he said, “And that’s exactly what happened today.”

“Well, that was an arrogant statement.”

“Hey!”

The pony made a sound of exasperation. “It’s the truth.”

“Where do you get off saying that?” Naruto demanded.

“Lower your voice, unless you want to wake your sensei.”

Kakashi was more than certain Bunta knew he was still awake. The pony was intelligent and observant.

“Oh. Still, that was a mean thing to say,” Naruto said, his voice quieter.

“Your desire to never be rescued is admirable, but it puts a damper on what you think of teamwork.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been around a long time, kid. I’ve seen a lot. And I can tell you that anyone who wants to be totally self reliant falls apart eventually.”

Kakashi swallowed, knowing how true Bunta’s words were. After he’d lost Obito, Rin, and Minato sensei, he had fallen into an even deeper depression. He didn’t realize how lost he was until the Third Hokage released him from the ANBU.

The darkness of ANBU has been an easy place for him to hide. Becoming a Jonin sensei forced him into the light.

He hadn’t wanted to leave ANBU. ANBU didn’t usually live long lives. A fact that hadn’t bothered him in the least.

But now…

Now it was different.

“I… hadn’t thought about it that way.” Naruto sounded almost sad.

“Look, it’s good that you want to be able to stand on your own two feet. My mistress is good at that. But she’s also good at calling us when she needs us. What I’m saying is this: don’t make stupid mistakes and don’t stand alone where no one can reach you.”

“So basically, don’t repeat what happened today, right?”

Bunta snorted. “That is not what I meant! If you’d use your head, you’d realize that the trap that enemy laid was beyond your current abilities to see. I mean, how long ago did you graduate the Academy?”

“I dunno. A few months.”

“That’s not a long time. You may be an idiot, but no one at your level would have spotted that trap.”

“Sasuke would have.”

Kakashi knew Naruto was right.

He heard the boy make a sound as he gritted his teeth. “I need to train even harder!”

“And you will,” Bunta said. “You may be an idiot, but you’re determined. You’ll get there.”

There was a pause and Kakashi knew Naruto well enough to know that the boy was smiling. “You know, Bunta, you’re not all bad, are you? You’re actually kind of nice.”

“Tell anyone and I will end you.”

Naruto chuckled. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. Thank you, Bunta.

*******

Naruto sat with crossed legs on his bedroll, watching the sun begin its trek over the horizon. He had the last watch and though he preferred sleeping in, he had to admit that the sunrise was beautiful. There was comfort in the promise of a new day.

And he needed that comfort.

Over the course of the night, Kakashi had been slightly restless in his sleep, his one exposed eye crinkled with lines of pain. He’d coughed a few times in his sleep and his breathing had changed. It was shallower, quicker.

Naruto hoped Kakashi wasn’t getting sick. It was the last thing he needed.

It wasn’t long before everyone stirred awake. Naruto watched Kakashi push himself up with shaking arms. He didn’t comment on it, knowing that Kakashi wouldn’t like it.

He didn’t ask him if he was hungry. He just handed him a ration bar and stared at him until his sensei started to open it.

Kakashi’s fingers were shaking so bad that he almost couldn’t rip open the package. And when he finally did, the bar toppled into his lap.

Naruto looked away, fear clutching his gut. He’d never seen Kakashi this… clumsy. Of course, he knew why Kakashi wasn’t as steady as he used to be. But Kakashi using his Sharingan the day before had drained him terribly.

He turned around so Kakashi could eat in peace.

“If we ride good and hard today, we’ll reach Kiiroi Tani tomorrow,” Kurisutaru announced. “Everyone good with that?”

There were no protests so once breakfast was done and the camp disassembled, they mounted up and galloped away.

The gallop sets were broken up by short walk periods to help the horses recover and not overtire. Naruto was silent, as was everyone else. No one could talk over the horses thundering hooves when they moved at speed and the rest breaks were for the riders just as much as the horses.

But when they were coming out of their fourth gallop set, Miyuna’s voice pierced the air.

“Naruto! Milady!”

Naruto turned to see Kakashi slumped over and slipping off of Miyuna’s back. He leapt off of Bunta, but there was no way he could get to Kakashi before he fell. His sensei collided with the ground with an audible moan.

He hadn’t even tried to block his fall…

“Kakashi sensei!”

He rushed to Kakashi’s side, the man eerily still. He wasn’t conscious. He gripped his arm with both hands and shook him. “Kakashi sensei!”

Kakashi’s eye fluttered open and he looked dazed. “What… what happened?”

“You fainted, sensei.”

“Oh,” Kakashi mused, not fully focused. Still, he managed a small smile. “Sorry about that.”

He started to push himself up, but he wasn’t steady. Naruto reached out and grasped his shoulders, helping him sit. Kakashi was shaking and breathing heavily. He could feel his muscles quivering under his hands. “Hey, take it easy, sensei.”

“I’m all right.”

“And stop lying!”

“It’s my fault,” Miyuna said in a remorseful tone. “I reached out with my chakra to keep you from falling, but I wasn’t quick enough. Please, forgive me.”

Kakashi lifted a shaky hand, dismissing Miyuna’s apology. He looked at the ground, his breath coming in shallower than it should.

Kurisutaru had now come up beside them and knelt in front of Kakashi. She placed her hand over his heart and frowned.

“What is it?” Naruto asked.

She sighed. “The seal is failing. His chakra’s beginning to leak. It’s very slow, but steady.” She withdrew her hand and leaned back. Her eyes were serious as she stared at Kakashi. “This is probably because you strained your system using your Sharingan.”

Kakashi said nothing.

Naruto looked at Kurisutaru. “Can you fix the seal?”

She shook her head. “No. If I adjust it, it will collapse. And I’m not fast enough to apply a new one without Kakashi losing too much chakra.”

Naruto felt his stomach flip. “What do we do?”

“We ride as fast as we can. We have to get Kakashi to Kiiroi Tani tomorrow. We’re running out of time.”

Chapter Text

Kakashi had felt himself getting lightheaded, but it had been a surprise to him as well that he’d blacked out.

Unlike Naruto, he hadn’t been shocked to learn that his chakra was leaking. He had felt the pain around his heart increase slowly since he’d used his Sharingan. He hadn’t said anything, he didn’t want to worry anyone or be a burden.

Looks like that plan backfired.

“Up you get, Kakashi,” Kurisutaru said. “We need to get moving.”

Naruto looked at her, his hands still on his sensei’s shoulders. Kakashi knew the kid could feel how much he was still shaking. “Can’t he have a minute? He just fainted!”

He shifted, which succeeded in Naruto turning his attention to him.

“She’s right,” he told him, glad he could keep his voice steady. But his success was short lived, as he couldn’t stifle the small coughs that erupted from his throat.

“Hey, sensei, you’re not getting sick, are you?” The blue eyes were wide with worry.

He shook his head, clearing his throat. “My lungs are just working harder right now.”

Kurisutaru pursed her lips. “That’s probably why you fainted. You’re not getting enough oxygen.”

Kakashi felt Naruto’s hands tighten around his shoulders. “It’s all right, Naruto.”

The boy shook his head. “No, it’s not. It won’t be alright until we can fix you!”

If Kurisutaru even can…

“Which I can’t attempt while we’re just standing here,” Kurisutaru said, placing her hands on her hips. “And I have a lot to go through to try and find something that will work, so the sooner we get to Kiiroi Tani, the better.”

“Right.” Kakashi held out a hand to Naruto. “Help me up?” He hated asking for the help, but he knew his body was too weak at the moment for him to stand on his own.

Naruto swallowed as he released Kakashi’s shoulders and stood, taking his hand. Kakashi heaved himself up, nearly toppling back over in the process. Kurisutaru quickly stepped in, preventing him from falling on top of the boy.

“Thanks,” he panted, fighting to keep his trembling legs steady enough to hold himself at least semi-upright.

Miyuna knelt next to him so that Naruto and Kurisutaru could help him onto her back. Once he was settled he entwined his cold fingers in her mane, fighting a surge of nausea as she rose. He felt extra warmth surrounding his legs and knew it was her chakra, helping to keep him in place.

“I will try my best not to let you fall again,” she told him.

“Naruto, hop on. We’ll run alongside,” Bunta said.

“Right!”

Kakashi knew why. If he were to list again, Naruto could support him.

Kurisutaru leapt onto Takeshi’s back. “All right, let’s get going.”

As they rode, Kakashi concentrated as much as he could on his breathing. He tried to ignore the pain in his joints that increased by the minute. He focused on pushing it to the back of his mind, burying it as deep as he could.

He didn’t realize just how much of his attention that claimed until they finally stopped at the mouth of a cave and he realized a great deal of time had passed.

The sun is setting…

“Hold still, Kakashi,” Miyuna requested.

Kakashi tried his best to obey, but as the mare knelt to help him dismount, he found himself tilting. His ears were ringing so loudly he was surprised he’d even heard Miyuna’s words. His vision was narrowing and going dark.

For the second time in one day, Kakashi felt himself falling.

*******

This time, when Kakashi collapsed, Naruto saw it coming. He jumped off Bunta and caught him, just barely in time to channel enough chakra in his legs to allow him to hold his sensei upright.

Kakashi shuddered, drawing in a raspy breath. He pulled his leg over Miyuna’s back so that he could — somewhat — stand on his feet.

But he was leaning against Naruto heavily.

The strain of the traveling, coupled with his slowly leaking chakra, was weakening him even faster.

“S-sorry.” Kakashi’s voice was slightly slurred.

Naruto felt his heart squeeze in his chest.

Kakashi sensei…

“Get Kakashi inside the cave, Naruto,” he heard Kurisutaru tell him. “It’s safe.”

“Right.”

“Lean on me as well, Kakashi,” Miyuna said. “Naruto can’t fully support you.”

Kakashi reached out with a trembling arm and wrapped it around the mare’s neck, easing Naruto’s burden.

Slowly, they made their way to the cave, Kakashi’s steps wobbly and unsure. Naruto could hear the rasp in his breathing.

“Sit down here, sensei,” he said quietly, steering Kakashi towards a large rock. The Copy Nin sat down heavily on it, his body continuing to quake, his eye unfocused.

“He needs rest,” Miyuna said.

“I’ll get his bedroll ready,” Naruto told her.

“Once you’re done with that, you and Bunta gather some firewood,” Kurisutaru instructed. “Takeshi and I are going to set our perimeter. Miyuna, watch over Kakashi.”

Naruto quickly got Kakashi’s bedroll laid out then helped his sensei stumble over to it, where he practically collapsed, unsuccessful in his attempts to stifle a few coughs. Naruto bit his lip. It was very unsettling and scary to see Kakashi so weak.

He drew his blanket over him, noticing that Kakashi didn’t even give a token protest.

That was somehow more concerning than the fact that, right now, Kakashi couldn’t even walk on his own.

He went into the woods, completing his next task of gathering firewood. He went in the opposite direction of Bunta, not wanting to be near anyone at the moment. His heart was heavy and, for once, he didn’t feel like talking.

Kurisutaru ended up scoring a few rabbits for their dinner. Naruto unsealed the cooking pot they had packed as she expertly began to skin the animals. The horses stayed outside, grazing. By the time Naruto had filled the pot with water and had it boiling, Kurisutaru placed the raw meat into the pot, which would cook into a bland, but nutritious, soup.

The entire time they cooked and ate, Kakashi remained eerily still.

“I wish Kakashi hadn’t gone and pulled a stunt like he did yesterday,” Kurisutaru said, setting her bowl down. She picked a piece of meat out of her teeth. “He’s seriously narrowed his timeline.”

Naruto swallowed. “If he dies, it’ll be my fault.”

Kurisutaru looked at him. “Where do you get that?”

“Because I made a promise.”

“Hmm. Maybe. But I doubt it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was Kakashi’s choice to use his Sharingan. I’d bet my next bounty that, if you ask him, he’ll tell you he doesn’t regret it. Any of it.”

“Look, I know as ninja that sometimes we put our lives on the line for others, but — ”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Huh?”

Kurisutaru sighed. “Look, when I first met Kakashi, he was willing to put his life on the line… always. It was something else that always concerned me about him.”

Naruto tilted his head, curious. “What’s that?”

She picked up a large stick to stoke the fire. “He didn’t seem to care too much about living. But he does now. I’ve seen a lot and sometimes, one’s determination has a real effect on things. For example, yes, his chakra is leaking. But it’s the slowest leak I’ve ever seen.” She looked at Naruto. “Don’t count him out yet, kid. Kakashi wants to live. I’ll do everything in my power to help you keep your promise.”

He gave her a smile. “Thanks.”

She stood. “I’m going to go check the perimeter and go on first watch. The horses really need to rest. Mind taking second watch tonight?”

“You got it.”

Once she was gone, Naruto filled a cup with the broth of the soup and knelt down beside his sensei. Kakashi was lying on his back, pale and withdrawn, looking more sick than Naruto had ever seen him. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Sensei?”

The man didn’t stir.

A ripple of fear encircled Naruto’s heart. “Hey,” he said, shaking his shoulder slightly, “you need to drink some of this, keep up your strength.”

Again, he got no response. The only sounds were the crackling fire and the Jonin’s jagged breathing.

“Damn it,” he cursed softly. He set the cup down. “Damn it all!” he shouted. He grabbed Kakashi’s shoulders, pulling him up. He moved his left knee to support him in a half-sitting position, channeling chakra to it and his left arm, as he wrapped it around his sensei to hold him up.

“I promised them,” Naruto told the unconscious man, hot tears welling in his eyes. “I promised them I’d bring you back alive.”

A trembling hand reached for Kakashi’s mask.

“And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep that promise!”

He hooked his index and middle fingers along the edge of the mask and tugged it down. Kakashi’s mouth was partway open, so Naruto picked up the cup of broth and poured a little in his mouth. The sensation of the warm liquid jerked Kakashi awake and he coughed, but he swallowed the broth Naruto gave him. The boy brought the cup back up to his lips. Exhaustion plain on his face, Kakashi weakly tried to turn away, but Naruto gripped his shoulder harder.

“Please drink, sensei,” Naruto urged him, his voice a desperate murmur.

His tone seemed to resonate something inside Kakashi. The silver hair took a shuddering breath and then obediently opened his mouth. Naruto gave him small sips that were easy to swallow and not spill. He didn’t stop until Kakashi had drained the cup empty.

When he was finished, Kakashi leaned back with a groan, his tired eye moving from the cup to Naruto’s face. Naruto gasped, suddenly embarrassed and terrified from the breach of privacy he had committed. Trembling, the cup slipped from his fingers and it rolled towards the fire. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find something… anything… to say, but it seemed like his voice was gone.

Naruto was actually looking at Kakashi’s face! His skin was pale from illness, but still flawless. There was a beauty mark on the left side of his chin, something he never would have guessed. The scar over his eye extended to the middle of his cheek.

The wait was over, the mystery was solved!

And Naruto found no joy in it.

Kakashi sensei probably hated him now.

“I’m…I’m sorry!” he pushed out shakily, tears spilling down his whiskered face. “K-Kakashi sensei… I… I…”

Kakashi’s eye closed as he let out a deep sigh. He opened his eye again, holding Naruto’s gaze. The corner of his lip turned up in a small, tired (reassuring?) smile.

“It’s ok,” he whispered.

The blonde couldn’t stop his sobbing. It was ok? How???

“Geez, sensei…” he croaked out, dragging his sleeve across his wet cheeks. “How do you…not have any…weird tan lines or anything like that?”

Oh great… THAT’S what I come up with to say at a time like this??

He wasn’t prepared for the soft chuckle that emanated from his precious sensei, exposing beautifully white teeth, his canine’s slightly sharper than normal. Kakashi smiled at him… a real smile. His eye did not fold into its normal crinkle… it didn’t need to. The true kindness on his face made Naruto’s heart squeeze in his chest and more tears spill from his eyes.

“A secret…for another day.” Kakashi’s voice was quiet and slightly strained. He coughed a little after he spoke, wincing.

Naruto bit his lower lip as he laid him back down on his bedroll as gently as he could. It was odd, seeing Kakashi’s lips turn into a grimace when his features were normally hidden. He carefully replaced his sensei’s mask, the familiar sight calming his racing heart a bit.

“Naruto?”

He swallowed. “Yeah?”

Kakashi’s eye was soft and his voice gentle. “You did nothing wrong. Please know that.”

Does he mean by missing that enemy’s trap? Or exposing his face?

Or both…?

He could only nod in reply. He grabbed the blanket, pulling it up to Kakashi’s shoulders. “You should get some sleep.”

Miyuna walked in, making her way over to them. “I will lie with him, Naruto,” she said softly, folding her legs underneath her. “He will not be cold tonight.”

Naruto gave a small smile to the kind horse. “Thanks.”

He exited the cave and turned left, away walking away from Bunta and Takeshi. He followed the rock wall, pulsing out his chakra to feel the wards that Kurisutaru had activated so that he wouldn’t pass them and set them off. He collapsed against the rock face, wrapped his arms around his chest, and sobbed.

Chapter Text

Kakashi sighed, staring into his bowl of leftover soup from the night before. Sleep had renewed some of his strength, so he was able to sit up on his own. He had to hold his bowl with both hands, as one hand alone didn’t have enough strength, but this way he could drink it with some semblance of ease.

At least he could still feed himself… sort of.

He’d been granted privacy to eat. Before picking up his bowl he had lowered his mask and now it sat pooled around his neck.

Why do you wear a mask?

It was a question he knew most people had.

He always deflected if someone dared ask the question. He had cheeky answers like “Why do you think I never get sick?” (slightly true), “It filters scents” (very true), and “If I didn’t wear one I’d scare the children!” (not true).

He had a reputation where no one knew what he looked like. Which was preposterous. There were several medical staff who had seen his face and one certainly couldn’t have a successful visit to the dentist with a mask on.

But, being an aloof sort, Kakashi didn’t mind. It kept people at bay. Which was fine by him, because he didn’t like being the poison that brought death to those he loved.

Still, when he got his three adorable genin, he’d found their shenanigans to try and see his face endearing. He’d even used it to his advantage, donning a wig and purple stripes to his face to hide his scar. In doing so, he had transformed into Sukea, a traveling photographer.

Of course, the kids hadn’t known that Sukea had been one of Kakashi’s undercover personas when he’d been in the ANBU. They also hadn’t figured out it was really him behind the disguise… an entirely different type of mask.

They were clever. And if Kakashi hadn’t already known just how bright they really were, then their plans to reveal his face just might have succeeded.

I probably wouldn’t even be upset if they had seen my face. It was quite a good show of teamwork. But the way it happened last night…

Kakashi tried not to shudder at his failing, but soon realized that the reason for his shivering was actually that he was cold.

His body was failing him much quicker than before.

He was glad that the soup was nothing more than broth. His energy reserves were quite low and this being so easy for his stomach to digest had been the right choice.

He was learning that, in a lot of ways, Naruto was more observant than others gave him credit for.

He would never underestimate the kid again.

Speaking of the boy, Naruto walked into the cave just as Kakashi was raising his mask. The boy darted his eyes away.

“Are you… finished, Kakashi sensei?”

He smiled. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Naruto looked at Kakashi, a frown creasing his small forehead. He walked over, pulling his backpack off. He set it on the ground as he knelt in front of Kakashi, tugging out a light gray traveling cloak. He wrapped it around his sensei, not giving him time to protest.

Kakashi’s heart squeezed in his chest. He felt so weak. He was weak. He didn’t like having to rely on others for help.

“Sensei… about last night…”

Kakashi waved his hand, giving off an air of nonchalance. “As I said last night, you did nothing wrong. Tasks are becoming… difficult. I’m… grateful for your help.”

The blonde gave a a small smile.

Kurisutaru ducked her head in. “Kakashi, you ready?”

“Yeah,” he said as he watched Naruto seal his bowl and the pot away. He pushed himself forward to stand.

His legs trembled and ached. He tried to push through but halfway up his joints screamed at him and forced him to flop uselessly back down onto the rock with a grunt.

I… can’t stand on my own anymore…

His body was utterly failing him.

It was obvious that Naruto saw it. He could see the way the kid gulped. Kakashi knew that Naruto still felt responsible for Kakashi’s increasing demise, but he knew the boy wasn’t to blame. Using the Sharingan had been his own choice.

Miyuna had tried to stop him. Bunta had told her to let him go.

Naruto walked over, an air of uncertainty about him.

Kakashi felt responsible for the boy’s unease. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one Naruto could lean on for protection.

Ah well, nothing could be done about that. But Naruto knew Kakashi didn’t like needing help from others.

The only thing I can do to help him is push my pride aside.

So, he put on the best smile he could and extended his hand. “Mind helping me up?” His tone of cheerfulness was a little forced, but he hoped the kid wouldn’t notice.

He was rewarded with a small smile. It was also a little forced and sad, but he tried to match the cheeriness in Kakashi’s voice when he said, “Sure!”

So, with Naruto’s help, Kakashi was able to struggle to his feet. He was shaky and unsteady, but at least he was able to walk, even if it was very slow. His joints throbbed but he ignored them.

He also ignored his jagged breathing and the sweat trickling down his back.

“If we ride hard, we can reach Kiiroi Tani by mid afternoon,” Kurisutaru said as they exited the cave. She looked at Kakashi. “You’re in no condition to ride alone. You’ll ride with me on Takeshi.”

Takeshi bowed his head. “As you wish, milady.”

Kurisutaru turned to Miyuna. “I can send you back, if you like.”

“We’ll be back home later today, milady,” the mare said. “If it’s all right, I’d like to stay and be a help to Kakashi, if I can.”

Kurisutaru smiled. “I understand.”

“C’mon kid,” Bunta said to Naruto, “get Kakashi over to Takeshi, he can’t stand like this forever.”

“Right.”

Kakashi moved to walk forward, but Takeshi came up.

“There is no need to strain yourself,” the horse said. He knelt in front of them in one, elegant motion.

Kakashi allowed Naruto and Kurisutaru to help keep him steady and get his leg over Takeshi’s back. The stallion was narrower than Miyuna and Kakashi noticed he also wasn’t as warm as she was.

Or I’m just getting colder.

Once he was settled, Kurisutaru got on in front of him. “Wrap your arms around my waist,” she instructed.

Kakashi obeyed. Kurisutaru’s sword was an uncomfortable pressure against his chest, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

“All right kid, jump on,” Bunta said. “The sooner we get to Kiiroi Tani, the better.”

“Right!”

Kakashi closed his eyes as they galloped along, letting his mind drift.

Considering he kept floating in and out of consciousness, it was all his mind could do.

*******

Naruto kept his eye on Kakashi the entire time they rode. He could see that his sensei wasn’t always awake and it scared him to see the shoulders slump and his head loll to the side uselessly.

Whenever it happened, Bunta would pick up speed, as would Miyuna, to gallop on either side of Takeshi, there to help just in case Kakashi fell. Kurisutaru would take one hand to grip his arm that wound around her slim waist.

“We’re nearly there!” she eventually shouted over the thundering hooves.

Finally!

“Hold on, kid!”

Naruto obeyed as all the horses veered suddenly to the right, galloping into what seemed a dense and dark forest. The light faded to the point where Naruto could barely see Bunta’s flaxen mane. He noticed a strong chakra humming around him, threatening to pull him back. It clung to him like a pair of invisible talons… he could feel the sharp edges through his clothes and against his skin.

It kept getting darker. Naruto shook and struggled against the chakra as he clung to Bunta’s mane. He felt like he was being pushed under water. He could hardly breathe. His ears were ringing.

He had to fight it! Kurisutaru was pulling further away with Kakashi, while Naruto kept getting further and further behind.

I can’t get separated from Kakashi sensei now! I’ve got to fight it! But how? How??

“Release!”

Suddenly, the darkness dissipated. Naruto gasped as he was finally able to take a deep breath for the first time in… minutes? Hours?

“Seconds,” Bunta said.

“Huh?”

Bunta looked back at him and grinned. “You were babbling hysterically. It’s not surprising… the genjutsu barrier around Kiiroi Tani is very strong.”

It was only then that Naruto realized they had stopped. He looked ahead.

“Oh…”

Kiiroi Tani was beautiful. The valley, nestled at the base of mountains Naruto hadn’t even seen on their journey, was covered in yellow flowers that gave off a light but sweet scent. There were horses grazing and running happily about.

Kurisutaru sighed, a small smile on her usually stern face.

“We’re home.”

Chapter Text

Alone in Training Ground Three, Sasuke was training.

He had his targets set. There were eight in total, one in a blind spot. He closed his eyes, concentrating. He slowed his breathing, shifted the shuriken slightly in his fingers.

Ok. Here we go.

He leapt in the air, rotating as he let his shuriken fly. The satisfying clunk, clunk, clunk of them hitting their targets tickled his ears. He grinned as he landed, then looked up to see…

…he had missed the bullseye on every target.

Sasuke cursed. This exercise was usually child’s play for him. He shouldn’t have missed.

He gathered his shuriken, determined to try again. But this time, he would activate his Sharingan.

He closed his eyes again. He needed to call forth a strong emotion to activate it.

Which was now stupidly easy.

When Kakashi had helped him, he had called forth his hate for Itachi. He still had that. But now he had the fear of losing Kakashi. He’d lost so many people in his short life and didn’t care to lose another. He also bore the frustration at being left behind in the village, while that baka Naruto had been the one chosen to go with Kakashi to Kiiroi Tani.

He felt the chakra bubbling to his eyes, twisting and moulding through the nerves. When he opened them, the world transformed into a hue of red. One might think that would be distorting, but the clarity he had on the targets (and his entire surroundings) had increased dramatically.

He repeated the exercise, unsurprised that his targets didn’t miss. Of course they didn’t miss when he had the Sharingan activated.

He gripped his hand into a fist and punched a nearby tree with a curse. He shouldn’t have missed the targets earlier.

He wanted to pretend that Kakashi’s current state didn’t bother him, but it did. He’d lost all his precious people in one night and the fact that Kakashi was dying brought those feelings to the surface. The pain was always there, it would never die, he was just good at not letting others see it.

Of course, if anyone had been watching his current practice session, they would have noticed his lack of concentration immediately.

Frustrated, he decided he’d done enough training for the day.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Sasuke started making his way back to the main village center. He supposed he should probably be training with Sakura rather than always alone… Kakashi would more than likely want him to. But Sasuke felt like being alone.

If Kakashi died, Team 7 would never be the same again.

“Our team is like a chain. Cut a link and the chain is broken. If that happens, our team will never be the same again.”

Sasuke sighed.

He hated this. He hated that he’d been left behind. He hated waiting.

Suddenly, the sound of galloping hoofbeats filled the air. Sasuke stopped and looked back, seeing a gold horse moving at great speed down the street. It zoomed past, heading straight for Hokage Tower.

That’s got to be one of Kurisutaru’s summons!

Sasuke took off, running as fast as he could after the horse.

He was no match for the horse’s speed and coughed in the dust it had left in its wake.

When he reached the entrance to the tower, the doors looked like they had been kicked open. Izumo and Kotetsu were standing there, looking a little dumbfounded.

“Which way?” he demanded.

Izumo pointed. “To the mission room.”

Sasuke took off, ignoring Kotetsu yelling at him that he shouldn’t disturb the Hokage.

If there’s news about Kakashi, I need to know!

He burst through the doors and saw the golden horse standing in the middle of the room and the Hokage in his normal seat. There were other ninja sitting at the tables… faces he recognized, names he didn’t know.

Except for Iruka sensei. And no one looked happy.

Sasuke didn’t care.

“Sasuke Uchiha,” the Third said crossly, “I expect Naruto to burst through doors and interrupt meetings, but not you.”

But Sasuke ignored the old man. His attention was focused solely on the horse. “You’re one of Kurisutaru’s summons, aren’t you?”

The horse placed the scroll it held in its mouth on the ground and looked at him. “I am. My name is Hayano,” she said, in a voice that was smooth as silk.

“What word do you bring?” the Third asked.

She refocused back on the Hokage. “My mistress wished me to bring this scroll as a gift for you.”

She nudged the scroll and it rolled open. Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke and three bandits appeared, bound and gagged.

Sasuke felt his eyes widen.

The Hokage released them from the scroll from that distance? And with no hand sign! I knew he was strong, but…

“Hmmm. I recognize these three. They are all wanted by the Leaf Village for crimes against the Land of Fire.” He lifted a hand and motioned. Suddenly, three ANBU appeared in the room and took the bandits away. He then looked at Hayano. “Please convey my thanks to Kurisutaru.”

“What about Kakashi?” Sasuke blurted out, impatient. “Do you have any news on him?”

“My mistress also asked that I let you know that by the time I arrived here, they should have Kakashi in Kiiroi Tani.”

He’s still alive!

Sasuke stepped forward, his heart pounding. “How is he? Is he ok?”

“I’m sorry,” Hayano said. “I have no other information. My mission is complete.”

With those words, the golden horse disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The Hokage looked at him. “Sasuke.”

The boy gritted his teeth. “Don’t.”

Iruka raised himself out of his chair. “Have Naruto’s bad manners rubbed off on you?” he demanded.

“Don’t compare me to that dobe!” he spat.

“Now see here!”

“No! You see! You see that I can do nothing to protect one of my teammates!”

Iruka pulled back in shock. “What?”

“I’m not going to repeat myself. But I will say it’s damn frustrating to be stuck in the village and not able to do anything to help!”

He stomped his foot in his annoyance, his pent-up anger he kept inside bubbling. “I’ve already lost my most precious people,” he whispered, his body shaking. He glared at his former teacher. “And I don’t want to lose any more!”

“You are not the only one in this world who has lost family, Sasuke,” the Third said. “I, Iruka sensei, and many others in this room have. I understand your pain.”

Sasuke pulled his hands into fists.

“We can never predict who will become injured in a mission,” the Hokage continued. “We can never predict who might never come home. It’s a harsh reality, but one we have chosen to face. Because we have chosen to be shinobi.”

Harsh reality? Huh. What do you know of that? Did you lose your entire clan in one night? Do you have the burden of avenging their deaths? Do you have a vow to kill the one who took them from you, the one person you thought you could trust most in this world?!

He didn’t. No one else did. No one else could ever understand the pain Sasuke carried in his heart.

Iruka cocked his head. “Are you all right, Sasuke?” His tone was softer.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, sucking air through his teeth. He didn’t want pity. “Yeah.”

Iruka drew his eyebrows together. He didn’t believe him.

But Sasuke didn’t care. What could Iruka do, anyway?

Nothing. Just like me.

“Kakashi’s fate is out of our hands,” the Hokage said. “You would be wise to prepare yourself… for both outcomes.”

Sasuke turned around. “Whatever. I’m going home.”

But instead of home, he found himself back on Training Ground Three. He threw himself into training, the hours blending together.

It was nearly midnight by the time he left. He didn’t bother to retrieve his kunai or shuriken.

They would be waiting for him in the morning.

Chapter Text

Kiroii Tani was beautiful.

The valley stretched for miles, covered in small, sweet smelling yellow flowers. There were two huge snow-capped mountains in the distance. A sparkling stream ran through the valley’s center. And there were many horses scattered about. Some were grazing, a few were playing in the river, and others were galloping freely about.

“Woah!” Naruto breathed.

“Welcome to my home,” Kurisutaru said, a soft fondness in her tone. “I’m sorry I didn’t release the genjutsu that hides this place sooner, but I thought you’d know how to release it.”

Naruto bristled. “I know how!”

“Oh?” Bunta said, turning his head and raising an eyebrow. “Then why didn’t you?”

“Shut up!” Naruto yelled.

That was when Kakashi groaned. Naruto looked at his sensei and saw that he was blinking his eye, almost like he’d been asleep.

Or unconscious…

“Let’s go,” Kurisutaru said. “Kakashi needs to rest and I need to get to the library.”

They began walking through the valley, approaching a tiny house in the distance.

“What is that place?” Naruto wanted to know.

“It’s my house.”

“Oh. So we’re taking Kakashi sensei there? Where’s the library?”

“The library is there as well.”

Naruto started. “What? How? That place is tiny!”

Bunta scoffed. “You’re a ninja. Shouldn’t you have figured out by now that things aren’t always how they appear?”

Naruto made a sound of frustration, crossing his arms with a huff. “Humph!”

Miyuna let out a soft chuckle.

It didn’t take long for them to get to the small cabin, which only looked large enough to have maybe three rooms. Naruto jumped off of Bunta’s back, practically leaping to Kakashi’s side as Takeshi knelt. He took Kakashi’s arm and pulled it over his shoulder as Kakashi listed.

“Don’t worry, sensei, I’ve got you.”

“Thanks, Naruto,” he whispered.

Kurisutaru slipped off Takeshi’s back and helped Kakashi finish dismounting. “Thank you, my friends,” she said to the horses. “We could not have done this without you.”

“You know I will always answer your call, milady,” Takeshi said as he rose.

“I’m grateful I could carry Kakashi for the majority of his journey here,” Miyuna said, inclining her head.

“It wasn’t the worst mission I’ve been on,” Bunta said, but there was a sparkle in his eye that belied any implied complaint.

Kurisutaru shook her head with a soft chuckle. She approached each horse individually and laid her hand on their sides where the circular chakra seals were. Once her hand made contact the seals disappeared. “Go and rest,” she instructed them. “It is well deserved.”

“Oh, Buuuuuuuntaaaa!” a sing-song voice rang out.

“Crap,” Bunta mumbled.

Naruto looked at him. “Who is that?”

Bunta snorted. “My wife.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed, Bunta,” Takeshi said with a laugh.

“Easy for you to say,” he grumbled.

“Stop it, Bunta,” Miyuna said. “Your wife is sweet.”

“Of course you think that. You don’t live with her.”

“Bunta!” the voice rang out again, more firm this time.

“Ugh,” Bunta sighed but yelled out, “Coming!”

Kurisutaru laughed. “You’d better go before she gets mad at you.”

“Won’t take long for that to happen,” he grumbled as he turned and trotted off.

Kurisutaru turned to Naruto, who was still supporting his trembling sensei. “Let’s get Kakashi inside.”

As Naruto helped Kakashi limp slowly forward, he felt a buzz of chakra in the ground. Kurisutaru stepped up to the door of the cabin and pressed against it. The buzzing went away and she opened the door.

“I’ll take him,” she said and stepped up beside Kakashi, smoothly lifting him bridal style in her arms. “Don’t worry about your shoes,” she called over her shoulder as she walked in the cabin. “Let’s get Kakashi settled first.”

“Right!”

Naruto followed Kurisutaru to the back room, which had a small bed, nightstand, and a fireplace. He leapt forward and moved the blankets back as Kurisutaru lowered Kakashi to his feet and helped him sit on the edge of the bed.

Naruto quickly kicked off his sandals and jumped onto the bed, taking off Kakashi’s headband as Kurisutaru unzipped his flak jacket. Naruto pulled that off as well and kept a steadying arm around Kakashi’s trembling shoulders as Kurisutaru knelt to pull off his sandals.

It startled him that Kakashi had offered no protest, nor had he tried to help them. He just sat limp, allowing himself to be manhandled.

He shuddered at the thought of Kakashi being that weak.

Once Naruto held both the vest and forehead protector, Kurisutaru put an arm around Kakashi’s shoulders and under his knees, guiding him to lie gently back on the bed as Naruto jumped off. Kakashi gasped and bit his lower lip under his mask… he was in pain.

“Kakashi sensei?”

“It’s… alright,” he said quietly between unsteady breaths.

“Stop talking,” Kurisutaru instructed firmly, bringing the blankets over him. “You need to save strength. Go to sleep.”

Kakashi didn’t seem to have the strength to protest. His eye closed and it wasn’t long before he was asleep. Naruto placed the vest and forehead protector on the nightstand beside him.

Kurisutaru straightened. “He’ll be out for a few hours at least.”

Naruto put his hands into fists. “Now we just need to go find the seal that’ll save Kakashi sensei!”

Kurisutaru barked a humorless laugh. “You say that like it’s going to be easy.”

Naruto looked at her. “It can’t be that hard to find, can it?”

Kurisutaru raised her eyebrow. “Oh no? Come with me.”

Naruto stayed on her heels as he followed Kurisutaru through the small kitchen to the other room. Though it sported two windows, the room was very drab and empty without any furnishings at all.

“I thought you said there was a library here!”

“There is. Did you think it’d be out in the open for anyone to see?”

Naruto made a sound of frustration. “Well, where is it then?”

Kurisutaru walked to the middle of the room and knelt. She made a series of signs, calling out each one as she did.

“Uma-Tori-Inu-Hitsuji-Tatsu-Uma… Secret Clan Art - Aoki Release!”

She placed her hands on the ground and a yellow light raised up from the floorboards. Naruto gasped as he felt a wind surge upwards and the floor shake underneath his feet. But after a moment, the light and wind was gone and there was a staircase leading underground.

“Come on,” Kurisutaru said, motioning him to follow her as she descended without hesitation down the stairs.

Naruto sprinted forward, following her down the spiraling steps. And as he did, his jaw dropped as torches suddenly came to life, lighting the area brilliantly.

“Woah!”

The library was huge. Every direction Naruto looked there were rows and rows of free-standing bookshelves filled to the brim with scrolls. It stretched on and on… Naruto never suspected a library could be so large.

“I told you it wasn’t going to be easy,” Kurisutaru said with a sigh. “Even I don’t know all the information that’s sealed away in here.”

“Well, what are we waiting for? The sooner we start, the sooner we can help Kakashi sensei!”

Naruto ran forward, pulling a scroll down.

“Not so fast, kid! Can you even read seals?”

Naruto froze. “Uhhh… kinda?”

Kurisutaru rolled her eyes. “Here. Our job will go a lot faster if you know what we’re looking for.”

She walked over to the large wooden table that was to her left and wrote out a few symbols on a sheet of paper.

“We need seals that deal with chakra and the body. So we only need to pull seals with these indications.”

Naruto walked over, looking at the seemingly random squiggly lines and characters that by themselves meant nothing to him. But he picked up the paper, determined.

“I’m on it!” He put his hands together. “Shadow clone jutsu!”

Three clones popped into existence. And, because he was holding the paper, each clone had their own paper as well.

Kurisutaru curled one side of her mouth up. “Not bad.”

“Alright guys, let’s do this!”

“Right!”

Naruto and his clones each went a different direction in the library, scouring the shelves and pulling anything that contained even one of the symbols Kurisutaru had drawn. Whenever they found one, they brought it to the table for Kurisutaru to review.

The pile on the table was growing quickly… so much that soon they were stacking on the floor. Kurisutaru was going through the items as quickly as she could, but each one brought disappointment as she cast them aside, nothing useful to their situation in them.

Hours ticked by, bringing them no closer to a solution.

Naruto was pulling yet another scroll off the shelf when he heard Kurisutaru call his name.

“Yeah?”

“You might want to check on Kakashi… it’s been a while.”

“Oh! Right!”

“You can dispense of your clones, too. It’s going to take some time for me to get through everything you’ve brought so far.”

“Ok.” His clones disappeared as he ran up the stairs.

He entered Kakashi’s room as quietly as he could, in case he was still sleeping, but his normal eye was open and drifted tiredly to look at him.

“Hey, you’re awake!”

“Yeah.” Kakashi’s voice sounded like he was exhausted.

Naruto walked up to him. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better.”

Naruto sighed. “I know. But cheer up! We’re here and Kurisutaru is going to be able to fix you! I know it!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Kurisutaru’s voice came from behind. “But it’s going to take time. Which we don’t have a lot of.”

She walked over and peeled back the blankets, placing her hand over Kakashi’s heart. “Well, now that you’re not overexerting yourself, the chakra leak has slowed. But it’s definitely still there.”

“But that’s good, though, right?” Naruto asked. “That gives us more time!”

“Not much,” Kurisutaru said, covering Kakashi once again, “but, right now, I’ll take what I can get.”

Chapter Text

Kakashi hated being bedridden.

It was always a nuisance. It meant he couldn’t do anything for himself and had to rely on the nurses at the hospital.

Only now, he wasn’t at the hospital. He was miles away, in a secluded valley, with Naruto as his main caregiver.

What a pitiful, pathetic scenario.

And now, Naruto held his injured arm, pushing up the sleeve to check the bandages, which he could see he had bled through.

Naruto, who didn’t know much about injuries, at least knew enough to take pause at the discovery. “You shouldn’t be bleeding like this…”

“He’s just bled more because his clotting is slowed due to the lack of chakra,” Kurisutaru explained. “He’s not bleeding like that now.”

“Oh.”

Kakashi watched in silence as Naruto removed the bloody bandages. The areas the shuriken had penetrated were red, almost raw looking.

Naruto’s forehead creased into a frown. “These don’t look good.”

“Because of the chakra drain, his body can’t fight off infection as well.”

Kakashi hated that Kurisutaru was talking almost like he wasn’t there, but honestly, he knew that wasn’t her intention. She was simply explaining to Naruto what was going on. He was just frustrated and cranky and tired.

Naruto looked at him. “I’ll clean them real good, sensei!”

Kakashi managed a small smile. “Thanks.”

“I’m heading back down. Come back once you’re finished, Naruto.”

“You got it!”

Kakashi watched in silence as Naruto took more care than he’d ever seen as he wiped down each puncture wound. His bandaging job wasn’t perfect, slightly too tight in places and too loose in others, but it was better than the first time he bandaged him.

“Good job,” he whispered.

The kid absolutely beamed. “Thanks!”

The now ever-present pain in his chest squeezed a little harder and Kakashi coughed, the movement jarring his painful frame. Naruto looked at him worriedly. “Are you ok?”

He didn’t want to tell him he knew his organs were beginning to shut down.

So he mustered a smile and said, “As… good as I can be. Why don’t you go back with Kurisutaru?”

“I can leave a clone with you if you want company. I do it all the time.”

It was an incredibly kind gesture… one that shouldn’t hurt, but did. Was Naruto really that lonely…?

“I’m fine. I’m just going to sleep anyway.”

Naruto nodded. “I’ll come check on you again later, all right?”

Kakashi gave a small nod. “I’ll be here.”

His pathetic attempt at humor seemed to fall on deaf ears, as Naruto paled slightly.

“Right.”

Naruto trotted off, leaving Kakashi alone with his thoughts.

He wasn’t sure how much time he had left. He could feel his chakra leaking from his body… each time he lost some it felt like a paper cut on his heart. His limbs were heavy and his joints throbbed. His breathing was compromised.

Kakashi knew he was slowly, slowly dying.

And his fate rested in Kurisutaru’s hands.

He trusted her.

He just didn’t trust she’d find the answer in time.

*******

Back down in the library, Naruto and Kurisutaru worked tirelessly through the night. Kurisutaru had rejected the majority of the scrolls he and his clones had brought over, but had set aside a few that were promising. Naruto honestly had no clue exactly what she was looking for, he just kept working, bringing her anything that contained even one of the symbols she had drawn for him.

“Hmmm,” she hummed thoughtfully, setting another scroll in the designated “keep” pile.

“Are we any closer?” Naruto asked, bringing over three more scrolls.

She sighed. “Yes and no.” She glanced at the scrolls he held. “I know those scrolls and they are not what I need.”

At her words, Naruto dumped the scrolls in the ever-growing discard pile. “This feels never ending!”

“And we haven’t even covered half the library yet.” Kurisutaru sat back with a sigh. “And at the rate this is going, I won’t find a way to save him in time.”

Naruto’s heart pounded as he whipped around to face her. “You can’t give up!”

“Who said I was?” she demanded, crossing her arms. “But face it, kid, Kakashi’s deteriorating… fast. We have maybe two days… tops. After that, it’ll be too late.”

Naruto curled his hands into fists. “That can’t happen! I promised!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Naruto growled. “I never go back on my word! I won’t go back to the Leaf to tell Sasuke and Sakura I failed!”

“Then you better pray I find the answers soon, kid,” she said, picking up another scroll. “I mean, it’s not like I want to tell the Hokage I let his best soldier die.”

“Yeah,” Naruto said sadly, walking back to the shelf he’d been scouring. “I don’t want to tell anyone that he…” He trailed off, unable to say it.

But then, a question burned in his mind and he looked at Kurisutaru. “How will the pack find out?”

She looked at him. “Pack?”

“Yeah. Pakkun and the others.”

Kurisutaru swore. “I forgot he has a summoning! Go get me one of the old bandages that has Kakashi’s blood on them. Hurry!”

Naruto rushed out of the library and into Kakashi’s room. His sensei was sound asleep… if he’d been at full strength, Naruto’s entrance would have roused him.

As it was, he didn’t even stir.

Naruto went to the trash can and pulled out a roll of soiled bandage, and headed back to the library. Kurisutaru had a scroll laid out that had clearly once been empty, but she now had a brush and an inkwell and was scribbling intricate seal designs with remarkable speed.

“What are you doing?”

“This is an old Aoki clan conversation summoning jutsu. Hand me that.” She reached out and Naruto handed her the bandage, which she placed in the center circle. Her fingers rapidly ran through the summoning signs and she slammed her hand down on top of the bandage.

“Summoning jutsu!”

There was a puff of smoke and then a low, ferocious growl.

“You’re not Kakashi!”

“Pakkun!”

The little pug looked up. “Naruto! What’s going on? Where’s the boss?”

“That’s actually why you’re here,” Kurisutaru said.

And then she and Naruto explained everything that had happened… even how Kurisutaru had been able to summon him. Pakkun listened, his face tight.

“I see,” he said quietly once they were done.

“I’m sorry it’s not better news,” she told him sincerely, “but since I had the ability to inform you, you needed to know.”

Pakkun sighed. “I’m glad you did. I was beginning to wonder why he hadn’t summoned any of us lately. Is he here?”

Naruto hummed an affirmative. “Do you want to see him?”

“Yeah.”

*******

As he rose up from sleep, Kakashi felt a small depression next to him on the bed. It was too small to be Naruto and was pretty warm. A familiar scent wafted into his nostrils, but his brain was too sluggish to identify it. He opened his eye, blinking a few times to clear the blurriness and a face came into his line of vision.

“Pakkun…” he whispered.

“Hey, boss,” the pug said, his large eyes full of concern. “How are you doing?”

“I’ve had… better days,” he answered, his breath shallow.

A frown came across Pakkun’s features. “I can see that.”

Focusing was hard. He closed his eye, trying to fight down the pain that circulated his entire system from too little chakra. But that took energy he didn’t have and he couldn’t fight back a pain that would only continue to rise.

He didn’t realize he was grimacing until he felt Pakkun’s paw touch his arm and the gruff voice say, “Take it easy, kid.”

“ ‘Kid’?” Kakashi repeated.

“Well, if we go by dog years, I’m your senior and you’re still just a puppy.”

Kakashi tried to huff a laugh, but it came out more like a pitiful gasp of air. “Not quite but ok.”

He could feel his body getting heavier and the pull of unconsciousness in his mind. He shook his head, ignoring the waves of nausea. “Pakkun?”

“Yeah?”

Kakashi shivered. He was so cold, even though he felt the pressure of several blankets on him. “There’s… a very real chance… I’m not coming home from this one.”

Pakkun did not try to reassure him. The pug was a realist. For him to quietly say, “I know,” after how many times he had seen Kakashi at death’s door over the years cemented the true direness of Kakashi’s condition.

“So… I need a… a favor.”

Pakkun gave a nod. “Name it.”

“I-if I die… s-s-sell everything.” Talking was becoming difficult. “My finances… split three ways… t-the kids… their f-futures…” Rough coughs took him, sending waves of agony through his limbs.

“I understand,” Pakkun told him once the coughing fit had passed. He smiled, a rare sight on his normally gruff face. “You really care about those kids, don’t you?”

He did. And honestly, who else was he going to leave everything to? He was the last Hatake and had no blood relations left anywhere. If he didn’t leave it to anyone, it would just be placed in the village’s treasury. And while that wasn’t a bad thing, he’d rather his kids have it.

He wasn’t the best sensei by far. But at least that would be something he did right for them.

The fight to stay conscious was becoming too much. He felt Pakkun’s soft paw pad touch his palm.

“Go back to sleep, Kakashi,” he said in the gentlest voice he had ever heard the pug utter. “I’ll stay as long as my chakra lasts.”

Kakashi took a deep, shuddering breath. “Pakkun…” he started to whisper, but his tongue was heavy.

“Sleep,” he said again. “I’ll watch over you.”

Neither one of them voiced it was probably for the last time. The little pug tucked himself at Kakashi’s hip, his head resting against his fingers.

Despite his gruff nature, Pakkun had a soft side. He’d been with Kakashi since he’d signed the ninken contract at five years old. He’d seen Kakashi through burying his father, his teammates, his sensei. He’d seen Kakashi at his worst and lowest points.

And now he’d probably see him through his own death.

“Pakkun?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks… for everything.”

He felt him lean into his leg a little more. “Anytime, Kakashi. Anytime.”

Chapter Text

A few hours later, Naruto climbed the stairs back up to the main part of the house. He and his clones had continued to dig through the library, pulling scroll after scroll and document after document off the shelves. Kurisutaru advised that he check on Kakashi while she sifted through the enormous pile, so he made his way to the bedroom while his clones continued to work.

Kakashi was clearly sleeping, but Naruto didn’t like the rattle he heard in his sensei’s lungs. Pakkun was curled up against him and he raised his head. “Hey, Naruto.”

“Hey,” he replied, walking in. “How’s he doing?”

Pakkun sighed. “I’m not going to lie, kid. I’ve never seen him this bad.”

His words settled like stones in Naruto’s stomach. He looked at Kakashi, taking in how pale he was. He looked even thinner and more withdrawn. His chest was rising, working too hard to get adequate air into his lungs.

Kakashi was running out of time.

“Kurisutaru will find the cure Kakashi sensei needs,” he said. “I’m sure of it.”

“I have no doubt she’ll find it. I just wonder if she will find it in time.”

“Pakkun!”

“Look, kid, I know you’re the eternal optimist, but even you have to see how quickly he’s deteriorating.”

Naruto bit his lip. “Yeah.” He curled his hand in a fist. “But as long as he’s alive, he has a chance. He has to come through this… he has to!”

“I hope he does, but I have to accept the fact that this might be the last time I see him.” There was a note of sadness in the ninken’s voice, something that had never been there before. “Naruto… can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“My chakra is almost gone. Would you stay with him? He… doesn’t deserve to die alone.”

Tears stung Naruto’s eyes, but he still gave the pug a smile. “You got it.”

Pakkun smiled. “Thanks, kid.”

Naruto sniffed as the ninken disappeared.

********

Kakashi didn’t know how much time had passed when he felt himself rising towards consciousness, but he could tell that Pakkun was gone. A small pang of regret mixed with a sense of gratitude stung his stomach. It had been good to see him again, he just hated it was probably for the last time.

As awareness returned to him, he felt that a small hand was grasping his own. He opened his eye, seeing Naruto. The boy was on his knees on the floor, his head on the bed as he held Kakashi’s hand, sleeping.

‘You want to know why he’s here every day? Because you’re the closest thing he’s got to family.’

Guy’s words floated across his mind. He wasn’t sure how true they were, Iruka had been there for Naruto a lot more over the years than he had.

But what was true was that when Naruto found someone he considered a friend, someone who was precious to him, he held fast to them. The boy loved hard. He was loyal almost to a fault and would put his life on the line for the sake of his friends.

In many ways, Naruto had shown Kakashi that he had been accepted into that sacred place in his heart. And had done so willingly and openly, completely unaware that his parents had done the same for the broken silver haired ninja.

Slowly, he curled his fingers around Naruto’s hand, feeling his arm quiver at the movement. He barely stifled his groan at the pain it caused. Naruto stirred, blinked, then jumped a little, realizing Kakashi was awake.

The boy was trying so hard to smile at him, but even though his lips curved upwards, the blue eyes remained sad and worried. “Hey there, sensei,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

Kakashi didn’t want to tell him. He was in pain, having a hard time breathing, dealing with a nagging squeezing sensation in his chest, and just so tired. But he probably didn’t have the energy to explain so many things.

“C-cold,” he heard himself whisper.

It was an understatement… he was actually freezing.

I guess my body really can’t regulate its temperature anymore.

It was true that the cold of chakra exhaustion was excruciating and he was no stranger to it. But it was also true that he had never felt it this biting before. He felt like even his bones were frozen.

“I think I’ve got something that’ll help with that. Hang on.”

Exhausted, he let his eye drift to follow Naruto, seeing that the boy had strung up a blanket in front of (but not too close to) the fire. He took it down and brought it over.

Naruto reached up and pulled the blankets down off Kakashi and the shivers he was barely holding at bay shook him terribly. The pain in his joints elevated and he was too weak to keep himself from gasping and grunting as he felt goosebumps pop up over his form.

Quickly, Naruto draped the warmed blanket over him, the side that was facing the fire next to his body. He then drew the covers back up, locking in the heat as much as possible.

“Thanks,” Kakashi whispered, relishing the warmth.

“Are you hungry?” Naruto asked. “You need to keep up your strength.”

“O-ok,” was all he could muster. He wasn’t sure if he was hungry, but it had probably been a while since he had last eaten. He didn’t want to, but that would worry Naruto even more, so he would endure.

Naruto disappeared then came back with a mug of hot broth. A small, finger hooked into his mask, then hesitated.

Kakashi gave a small nod. “I-It’s… ok, Naruto.”

The boy gave a small, half smile. “Right,” he acknowledged, his voice soft. He tugged on the mask and it fell loose around Kakashi’s neck.

Kakashi braced his hands against the mattress and winced. He tried to sit up, he really did, but his body was too weak and in too much pain to take his commands.

“Don’t worry, sensei, I’ve got you,” Naruto said softly as he slid an arm underneath his shoulders. He felt the heat of chakra and the boy lifted him just enough to where he could drink the broth comfortably.

The broth was bland, but it was warm, sending new shivers through his body. His weakened stomach couldn’t handle much… he only managed half of what was in the mug. Luckily, Naruto seemed to sense he couldn’t tolerate any more, and eased him back against the pillow. He set the mug on the bedside table then proceeded to replace Kakashi’s mask.

Kakashi closed his eye, his breathing heavy. Just drinking that small amount of broth had really exhausted him. He had never felt so weak in his life.

He felt a hand close on his shoulder. “Just keep holding on, sensei. Kurisutaru’s working as hard as she can, I’m sure she’ll find the answer soon.”

But Kakashi knew his body. Had brushed death so many times he knew when it was near.

He probably had a day left. Maybe longer, if he was lucky, but he doubted it.

He could feel himself falling. And he knew this time it wasn’t to sleep.

“Do me… a favor,” he whispered.

The boy went on alert. “Anything!”

Kakashi bit his lower lip, channeling what little strength he had left to lift his arm. He was grateful that his mask hid the majority of his grimace at the effort. Naruto caught his trembling hand and Kakashi gripped it as hard as he could, but his grasp was pitifully weak.

“Don’t… waver,” he told him, pushing words out of his heaving chest. “Be… the Hokage, Naruto…”

Fingers gripped his hand even tighter. “Of course I will! I said I would and I never go back on my word! Believe it!” He was smiling, wanting to convey his normal, optimistic self, but the tears in his eyes told a different story. “Just stay with me, ok?”

Kakashi smiled at the boy. His vision was going dark and blurry… he could feel his body shutting down in a desperate attempt to try and conserve energy and stay alive.

“You hear me, sensei? Stay with me!”

Kakashi might only get one chance to say what needed to be said.

Forgive me, Naruto. I can’t tell you about your parents. But I hope this is enough.

So he said the words that Minato sensei and Kushina weren’t here to say. He said the words he felt in his heart.

“I’m… proud of you… Naruto…”

The last thing he heard as he slipped into unconsciousness was Naruto screaming his name.

Chapter Text

Sakura walked down the long road that led to the building that housed Kakashi’s apartment. The streets were bustling with activity but Sakura barely noticed. Even with all these people around, she still felt very much alone.

Because she was alone. Sasuke was always training and more distant than usual. Naruto and Kakashi were gone… and who knew when they were going to return.

And if Kakashi would even come back alive…

Sakura shook her head, blinking back the tears that threatened to slip to her pink lashes. She didn’t want to think of the possibility that Kakashi wouldn’t return, but, then again, it was all she thought about.

And who could blame her? Since the formation of Team 7 she’d been with the boys and her sensei more than her own parents. Team 7 had become her family, even though Naruto was… a lot.

And, of course, right when everything started falling into place, our world fell apart.

She’d been enjoying the hiking trip that Kakashi had taken them on. It had been nice to be out in nature and not worry about training or missions for once.

Now she wished they had never left the village.

Because, if they hadn’t, nothing would be wrong. Kakashi wouldn’t have been hit with that jutsu. She wouldn’t have caught him and held him, motionless and nearly lifeless. She wouldn’t have seen his body slowly shut down.

She stopped at the stairs leading up to the apartment. It was a familiar walk… so familiar she had begun to memorize the grains in the wooden steps. She knew which ones creaked and where to step if she didn’t want to make a sound.

But today, she wouldn’t take the stairs.

Instead, she walked to the side of the building and placed her foot against it, channeling chakra to her feet. It was training, even though this exercise with chakra control was pretty easy for her.

She easily scaled the side of the building and knelt on Kakashi’s windowsill. Even though she had been basically living here, she still felt like a stranger when she walked into the empty apartment to take care of Mr. Ukki. The apartment was so dark and still now… almost as if it didn’t expect its occupant to return.

She raised the window and stepped inside. The quiet enveloped her like a cloak. There was a sadness here, a trepidation. And Sakura knew the only way it would go away would be with Kakashi’s safe return.

“Hey, Mr. Ukki,” she said, barely glancing at the plant. “I’ll go get your water.”

Sakura had been very diligent in making sure to come water the plant every other day. She liked it… she felt like she was helping somehow.

She went into the kitchen, picking up the same glass she always used. She filled it halfway full, then took it to the plant.

Mr. Ukki had been bright and green up until a few days ago. Now the plant’s leaves were beginning to brown at the edges and starting to wilt. It looked… sad.

“Do you miss Kakashi sensei, too?” she asked with a sigh, pouring the water into the soil. “It does get lonely around here. I mean, I’m literally talking to a plant, so I’m pretty lonely, too.”

She set the glass down. “I’m really trying hard here. I don’t know why you’re starting to look so bad.”

She looked at the plant, but Mr. Ukki gave no response.

“Well, you’re no help.” She put her chin in her hand. “Maybe you need some fertilizer or something. I don’t know, I’ve never really looked after a plant before. But that means I need to go see…”

She groaned.

Ino!

She hadn’t seen her former friend since they had left the Academy to join their respective teams. She knew Ino was incredibly jealous that she had been put on a team with Sasuke.

But that isn’t my fault… true love wins every time!

“I’ll be back soon, Mr. Ukki,” she told the plant. Then she jumped out of the window and landed on the street below, running towards Yamanaka Flower Shop.

The shop wasn’t far. She opened the door and the bell shook, signaling her entrance.

“Hello! Welcome to —” Ino broke off as she turned around, seeing Sakura. She crossed her arms. “Well, if it isn’t old Billboard Brow!”

“Shut up, Ino-Pig!”

She gets me so mad I could scream! I want to punch that smug look off her face! Cha!

“What are you doing here? Gonna try to get Sasuke to notice you with flowers? If he hasn’t noticed you by now, trust me, he never will.”

Sakura curled her hands into fists. “I’m not here to buy flowers,” she said, ignoring the bait. “I need information.”

Ino leaned forward, putting her elbows on the counter. “Poor Billboard Brow. Not smart enough to figure it out on your own, huh?”

The anger, sadness, and loneliness within her boiled over as she shouted, “It’s Kakashi sensei’s plant!”

“Oh.” Ino leaned back, her entire expression changing. It was no secret what had happened to Kakashi. “What’s going on with it?”

“I think it needs fertilizer or something. It’s starting to turn brown and wilt a little.”

“What kind of plant is it?”

Sakura jerked. “I… don’t know…”

Ino raised a finger. “The first rule of plant care is to know what kind of plant you have before you do anything. Did you bring it with you?”

“You have eyes. Do you see me carrying it?”

“Well, I can’t help you if I don’t know what I’m looking at, Billboard Brow.”

“Fine. Then come with me to look at it.” She felt herself shaking. “I… don’t want it… to…”

No! I won’t cry! Not in front of her! I won’t!

But she couldn’t stop the tears from welling in her eyes, blurring the image of Ino in front of her.

She expected Ino to make fun of her like she always did. But instead, her expression softened. She reached around her waist to take off her yellow apron. “Well… if you’re gonna cry about it…”

Sakura sniffed. “I can bring it here.”

“My shift is over, anyway. Come on.”

The girls walked out of the shop and headed to Kakashi’s apartment. Sakura led Ino up the stairs and, when they got to the door, she fished the key out of her hip pouch.

“Did Kakashi sensei ask you to look after his plant?”

Sakura hesitated. “Not exactly…”

Ino sighed. “Then should we even be here? Should you even have his key?!”

“Kakashi sensei wouldn’t mind,” she said as she pushed the door open. “Besides, Naruto, Sasuke, and I have basically been living here.”

“Oh. I didn’t realize that,” Ino said softly as they walked inside. “Was he really… that bad?”

Sakura chewed her lip as she closed the door.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “It was… hard.”

“I’m sure. I couldn’t imagine something like that happening to Asuma sensei.”

Sakura tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as they slipped out of their sandals and stepped into the apartment. “The plant is in his bedroom.”

“Kakashi sensei doesn’t have a lot of stuff, does he?” Ino observed, looking around.

Sakura jerked. “I… hadn’t really noticed.”

“It’s not a bad thing. Lots of people practice minimalism.”

Yeah… but is his a sign of his loneliness?

It hadn’t been hard to pick up on Kakashi’s loneliness once they had all started staying in the apartment with him. At first, Sakura had thought it was because of his current plight. But now, she wondered if his loneliness ran much deeper than they had even suspected.

When they walked into the bedroom, Ino went straight to the plant, which was sitting in the full sunlight. “Why does the pot say ‘Mr. Ukki’?”

Sakura shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Even if I asked, Kakashi sensei probably wouldn’t tell me. He’s kind of secretive like that. We don’t even know his hobbies. Well, except reading, but that’s only because he does it in front of us.

Ino inspected the plant closely, looking at every leaf and stuck her finger in the soil. After a moment she said, “I know what’s wrong.”

Sakura leaned forward a little. “You do?”

“Yeah. You’ve been over watering it.”

Sakura jerked in surprise. “What?”

“Yeah. Kakashi sensei’s gone a lot, right? It’d make sense he’d have a plant that would do best with infrequent watering.”

Her heart pounded in her chest. “What do we do? Have I killed it?!”

“Not yet. First, let’s move it somewhere where there’s not a lot of light.”

“The kitchen or the bathroom would be best.”

“Let’s go to the kitchen… the sink is bigger.”

“Why does that matter?” Sakura asked as they headed to the kitchen.

“Because I need to take the plant out of the soil and wash the roots. If there are any damaged ones, I need to cut them away.”

Sakura felt herself shaking. “Will Mr. Ukki be okay?”

Ino shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I need to examine it first.”

Sakura couldn’t help it. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

“Hey! Pull yourself together! Why are you getting so upset over one plant?”

“Because then I would have killed Kakashi sensei’s plant! Because Kakashi sensei might not make it back alive! And I can’t do anything to help!”

Sakura could feel herself shaking.

No matter what I do I’m always the screwup…

“Hey…” Ino said in a softer tone, setting Mr. Ukki down in the sink. “It’s probably not a lost cause. I’ve seen plants in worse condition pull through, so I’m sure it’ll be fine. We’ll go back to the store to get a dry pot and some new soil… a little care and this guy will most likely be as good as new!”

“But what about Kakashi sensei?!” Sakura shouted, her voice thick with ugly tears.

Because that’s what this was truly about.

She felt Ino’s arms wrap around her as she sobbed.

Chapter Text

“Kakashi sensei!”

Naruto shook Kakashi’s shoulders, frantically trying to get him to wake up. But Kakashi’s head flopped to the side and he stayed limp under Naruto’s hands.

“Kakashi sensei!” he yelled again.

There was no response to his call. No twitching of silver eyebrows, no lazy hum of acknowledgment.

This wasn’t the first time Naruto had seen Kakashi unconscious.

But this time was more terrifying than any of the others.

Because this time, there truly was no guarantee Kakashi would wake up again.

Naruto sniffed, releasing Kakashi’s shoulders as he felt tears fall down his whiskered cheeks.

He put his fingers together and a clone popped up beside him.

“Stay with him,” he instructed. “We have a promise to keep.”

The clone gave a single nod. “Right.”

Naruto looked at his sensei’s too-still body once more before heading back down to the library. Kurisutaru was standing over the table looking at a scroll, a frown creasing her features.

“How is he?” she asked but when she looked up and saw Naruto’s tear-stained cheeks, she stiffened. “Is he dead?”

“No,” Naruto answered quietly. “But he’s unconscious.” He looked up at her. “He doesn’t… I mean… I don’t think…”

“We don’t have much time, I know,” Kurisutaru said. She gestured to what she was reading. “And this scroll contains the answer, but —”

“WHAT? You FOUND it?!? That’s AWESOME!!!”

Kurisutaru sighed. “Must you be so loud?”

Naruto couldn’t help it, though. Hope was bursting anew through his being as he excitedly put his hands into fists and started giggling. “I knew you’d find it, I knew it! What are you waiting for? You need to save Kakashi sensei right now!”

“Hey, kid, where do you get off thinking this is easy, huh?” she snapped. She slammed her fist on the table so hard it jumped. “This doesn’t do us any good, because I don’t have the chakra bandwidth to do it!”

Her words hit Naruto’s stomach with a force he’d never felt before.

“Wh-wh-what do you mean?”

“Exactly what I said! The seal has to be applied on each chakra point before they are even activated! I can’t do thirty, much less all three hundred and sixty-one of them!”

Naruto threw his hands up. “So that’s it? We came all this way and there’s nothing you can do? You said —”

“I made no promises or guarantees! All I offered was a chance!”

Naruto lowered his hands, remembering that was true.

“So that’s it? Kakashi sensei is going… to…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. His nightmare blasted to the forefront and the image of Kakashi wrapped in clean linen haunted him like a ghost. He clenched his fists and shook his head, trying to banish the unwanted picture from his mind.

Kurisutaru pushed her hair behind her shoulder. “I haven’t given up quite yet.”

“What can you do if you don’t have enough chakra?”

She looked at him. “Someone else has more than me.”

Naruto pointed at his chest. “You mean me?”

“In a way.”

“What does that mean?”

Kurisutaru straightened. “The only beings I know of who have enough chakra to pull this off are the Legendary Sannin and…”

She eyed him.

“And a tailed beast.”

Naruto felt a tremble go through his body.

“The decree is no one can tell you the Nine Tailed Fox is inside you!”

Mizuki’s words cut through Naruto like a knife that night and remembering them was no different.

“You… know?”

“Yes.” She tilted her head. “I didn’t think you did.”

Naruto looked down at the ground. “Yeah.”

“I see.” Kurisutaru leaned against the table and crossed her arms with a sigh. “Well, in that case, that eliminates my difficulty. Listen carefully, Naruto. I have an idea.”

Naruto looked up. “You do?”

“It’s going to be dangerous. Kakashi doesn’t have a lot of time left. And the way this scroll instructs how to counteract the Widowmaker, I don’t think Kakashi will live through it. It requires setting all of the seals on the chakra points individually then activating them at the same time. That’s quite a shock to the system and with how much he’s already shutting down, the jolt might be too much for his body to bear.”

“So what do we do?”

“I could activate a single seal that would repair the damage to the chakra point. Then I could keep feeding chakra to it and drag it along the network to the next point. That way I could repair each one individually and that would be less of a shock to his system.”

“Then let’s do that!”

“It’s not that easy.”

“It doesn’t sound like it’s that hard!”

Kurisutaru scoffed. “You really can be an idiot sometimes.”

“Hey!”

“Think! I just said I don’t have the chakra to do this!”

“Yeah, but then you said a tailed beast does and I have one, so problem solved!”

“No, it is not!”

“Why not?”

Kurisutaru pinched the bridge of her nose. “You really have no idea, do you?”

Naruto tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“You’re still new to ninja life, so you haven’t been exposed to much. There are techniques that exist that can draw chakra out of you.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “Yes. It’s not incredibly difficult if the one you’re drawing it from is willing. But if they are not, it becomes much harder, especially if the opponent is strong.”

“But I’m willing! So it can’t be that hard, can it?”

“You fool! Do you think you actually control the demon within you?”

“Look, all I know is you’ve found a way to save Kakashi sensei so we have to make it work! We have to!”

Kurisutaru glared at him. “I know how to do it.”

“Then why didn’t you say so?”

“Because it risks your life, too!”

Naruto gasped, stunned.

Kurisutaru sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry for yelling. I guess I’m a little frazzled.”

“I think we both are,” Naruto told her.

She gave a soft smile. “Yeah.”

Naruto took a deep breath. “So you said this risks my life, too?”

“Yes.”

He nodded. “It doesn’t matter. I’m doing it.”

She sighed. “I wish there was another way. Kakashi would never forgive me if anything happened to you.”

Naruto took a step back, shocked. “What?”

Kurisutaru rubbed her eyes, clearly tiring. “Look, we’re wasting time that Kakashi doesn’t have. But it will be difficult and will take a lot of time. Are you willing?”

Naruto clenched his fists. “I made a promise to bring Kakashi sensei back alive. I’ll do anything I can to keep it.”

Kurisutaru eyed him. “Even if it requires your life?”

Naruto stood straighter. “I didn’t make any promises that I would come back home.”

She nodded slowly, but approvingly. “I understand.”

Naruto gave a determined grin and punched a fist into his palm. “All right! Then let’s get to work!”

Chapter Text

Naruto held Kakashi’s cold hand as he watched Kurisutaru write an intricate seal across the floor. It would help her chakra control as she worked to heal Kakashi’s body. She had explained that she wasn’t strong enough to wield the Nine Tail’s chakra on her own, so the seal would help her channel it.

But the seal was even more extensive than that.

Because if anything went wrong and the Nine Tail’s escaped, then it needed to be contained.

Naruto knew if that happened, he would most likely die, because she couldn’t redo the seal that trapped the beast inside him.

But that didn’t matter.

Kakashi sensei has never hesitated to put his life on the line for me or anyone else. I will gladly do the same for him.

Kurisutaru leaned back, already wiping sweat from her brow.

“Are you hot? Do you need water?”

She looked at him. “No. It’s just… I’m already feeling the effects of chakra exhaustion.”

Naruto’s jaw dropped. “From drawing seals? How is that possible?”

She glared at him. “Do you not remember anything you learned at the Academy?”

“Gah! Why do you have to pick on me like that? Seals were never my strong suit!”

“Was anything?”

“Hey!”

Kurisutaru sighed. “Then I’ll explain it. Drawing seals is more than putting ink to paper, or, in this case, the floor. If you don’t thread chakra through it to connect it, it’s just a meaningless drawing. That’s why seals are only good once.”

Fear gripped Naruto’s stomach. “If you’re already chakra exhausted, then how are you going to be able to help Kakashi sensei?!?”

Kurisutaru stood, a look of determination on her face as she reached into her pocket. “There are ways to artificially stimulate chakra production,” she said quietly, pulling out a small bottle.

Naruto’s eyes widened. “Soldier pills?”

She cracked a small smile. “Hey, so you do remember something!”

“Well of course I do! I’m not stupid, you know!”

“You sure about that?”

Naruto growled in frustration.

She hummed in amusement. “I know. You have a different type of intelligence than most.”

“What do you mean by that?”

She shook her head. “We don’t have time to talk about that now,” she said as she dumped five pills into her palm.

Naruto stiffened. “How many of those are you going to take?”

He got his answer when she tossed back all five and swallowed them dry.

“Hey, that’s dangerous!”

“It’d have been more dangerous if I had attempted this on the amount of chakra I had left. If I start this and can’t finish, Kakashi will still die. The repair won’t hold unless it’s done at every single chakra point.”

Naruto looked at Kakashi. Even through his mask he could tell his mouth was open. His breathing was strained and was starting to crackle.

He swallowed, trying to ignore his fear that Kakashi might not even live through the procedure.

Kurisutaru stood and walked over. “I need to place him inside the seal.”

Naruto scooted out of the way, pulling back the blankets that covered his sensei as he did. Kakashi’s body jerked at the sudden cold, but he was too weak to even shiver. Kurisutaru slid her arms under his wasting form and lifted him. Kakashi’s head hung lifelessly back, unsupported.

“Wait,” Naruto said quietly. He moved to Kurisutaru and gently positioned Kakashi’s head to lay on her shoulder. “I know it’s only a few steps, but…”

“I understand,” she told him, her voice equally as quiet.

Naruto exhaled sadly as he stepped back. His heart felt like a lead weight in his chest.

This had to work. It just had to!

I won’t let my nightmare come true!

He watched Kurisutaru lay Kakashi down with the upmost care.

“Hey… Kurisutaru?”

“Yes?”

Naruto curled his hands into determined fists. “If it comes between my life and Kakashi sensei’s, then —”

“I already know, kid. Come here and lay down beside Kakashi, with me between you.”

Naruto swallowed and did as instructed. Kurisutaru pushed her hair back with one hand and looked at him.

“I’m going to put my hand on your stomach.”

“Okay.”

She did and took a deep breath.

In the next moment, the room disappeared.

They were standing in a dark space that Naruto didn’t recognize. The room seemed to expand forever. The ankle deep water that covered the floor was warm almost to the point of being hot. There was a strange yellow glow in the atmosphere and the air was heavy.

“Where are we?”

There was an angry growl in the distance.

“This is as close as I dare get,” Kurisutaru said. It was the first time Naruto had ever heard her voice waver, even if it was extremely slight. “Luckily I don’t need to actually touch him to access his chakra.”

“Then how will you get it?”

“By using you as a conduit.”

“What’s that?”

“Look, the more time I waste explaining, the closer Kakashi gets to dying. Just shut up and let me work.”

Keeping quiet was widely known as one of Naruto’s weaknesses. But he’d stay silent for the rest of his life if it meant saving his sensei.

“Now, I have no idea how long this will take,” she said, “but it should not be painful for you. You also shouldn’t feel any of your own chakra leave your body. If you feel either of these things, you need to tell me. Got it?”

He nodded.

“All right. Close your eyes. If you watch, you could accidentally interfere.”

He did as he was told. He then heard Kurisutaru take a deep breath.

That breath told him how nervous she really was.

“Hey… Kurisutaru?”

“I thought I told you to be quiet.”

He looked at her. “Don’t blame yourself if this doesn’t work. Kakashi sensei wouldn’t, so you shouldn’t either.”

There was a moment of silence, then she huffed a small laugh. “Tell you what, kid. I won’t blame myself if you don’t either. Deal?”

Naruto gave her his biggest smile and lifted his hand in a thumbs up. “You got it!”

“Good. Now, let’s get to work.”

Naruto lowered his hand and closed his eyes again, focusing on staying as still as possible. He felt a strange vibration going through his body.

That’s weird… should I tell Kurisutaru?

The vibration stayed steady. It wasn’t annoying, but it sure was strange.

She only said it shouldn’t hurt. Since it doesn’t, I won’t say anything. Even if it did, I can handle pain.

As he laid there, Naruto wondered what was happening back in the village. What were Sasuke and Sakura up to? Were they keeping up with their training?

I bet Sakura is annoying Sasuke since it’s just them. I don’t know why she likes him so much. Can’t she see I’m loads cooler? After all, I’m going to be the Hokage one day. And you know what that means, Sasuke? I’ll get to be your boss! He he he!

Naruto really felt like laughing out loud, but that would disrupt whatever Kurisutaru was doing. He wished he could watch. If he opened his eyes, would they still be in that dark room or in the cabin? Somehow he knew the dark room was within him, but he didn’t understand it.

Oh well, it was no use thinking about.

When we get back to the village, the first thing I’m going to do is get some Ichiraku ramen! With extra pork! If I’m lucky, Iruka sensei will be there and I won’t have to pay!

It didn’t matter if Iruka invited him to ramen or not. If they ran into each other at Ichiraku’s, Iruka sensei always paid.

I wonder how long this is going to take… my nose itches…

And suddenly, all he could think about was his nose itching.

Damn it!

He clamped down on his tongue to distract himself from it.

I’ve got to get it together!

To distract himself, he counted to one hundred, then back down again. He tried to remember things that Iruka sensei had taught back when he’d been in his class, but that brought up memories of pranks he had masterfully executed.

Well… most of the time.

So then he started ranking his pranks from the best to worst. The worst one was the one where Iruka sensei had caught him before he could even set it in motion. And the best…

I have too many great ones to pick just one! But if I had to it would be —

His thought got interrupted by hearing something thump against the floor. The strange vibration had stopped.

“Kurisutaru?” he ventured quietly.

No answer.

He risked opening his eyes.

Kurisutaru was lying on the ground, unconscious.

“Kurisutaru!”

He shot up, leaning over to shake her shoulder. “Kurisutaru! Wake up!”

She shuddered then her eyes slowly opened. She sat up with a groan, holding her head in her hand. She was clearly heavily chakra exhausted.

“You okay?”

“Y…yeah,” she whispered, taking a deep breath.

Naruto then looked at Kakashi, who was still pale and breathing raggedly. He turned his attention back to her. “Did you finish?”

She nodded. She was pale and slightly shaky. “Yeah,” she said again.

“Did it work? Will Kakashi sensei live?”

She took another shuddery breath. “I don’t know.”

Naruto swallowed, the pit in his stomach growing heavier. “How will we know?”

Kurisutaru looked at Kakashi’s prone form, then met Naruto’s eyes.

“If he wakes up.”

Chapter Text

Naruto sat by Kakashi’s bedside, keen eyes never leaving his sensei. It had been hours since Kurisutaru had finished, but still Kakashi showed no signs of waking up.

Kurisutaru was sleeping on the floor, exhausted from her ordeal. She had been too tired to move. Naruto himself also felt a bit of the strain, but not as severely. It took a lot to wear him out and all he had really done was lie on the floor. Whatever Kurisutaru had done hadn’t required him to do really… well… anything.

Naruto touched Kakashi’s forehead.

“You’re still cold, aren’t you, sensei? I gave the other blanket to Kurisutaru… maybe I shouldn’t have.”

A memory surfaced. Team 7 out on a simple delivery mission and one night had been unseasonably cold. They had snuggled under their travel cloaks and blankets and then, Kakashi had put his own blanket on top of the three of them, and endured the cold evening with only his travel cloak.

“But then again, if you were awake, you wouldn’t have kept it for yourself… you’re not selfish.”

The still form didn’t comment.

Didn’t Iruka sensei say something at the Academy about how to keep warm in an emergency? Oh yeah, I remember now!

Slowly he laid on the bed on his side, one arm stretched over Kakashi’s chest.

“Hope you don’t mind, sensei, but being cold can’t be good for you right now.”

It actually made him feel a bit better, having his arm on his chest. He could feel Kakashi’s breathing.

And if he was breathing, it meant he was still alive.

But, even after all they had gone through, there still wasn’t any guarantee that he would stay that way.

Naruto swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

“You have to live, sensei,” he whispered. “You just have to!”

“He’ll do his best, kid,” a tired voice said behind him.

Naruto shot up. “Kurisutaru, you’re awake! How are you feeling?”

She groaned, holding her head in her hand. “Must you always be so loud?”

Naruto grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Kurisutaru got to her feet, lifting the blanket as she did. She walked over, slightly wobbly.

“Here,” she said, holding out the blanket. “He needs this more than I do.”

Naruto quickly took it from her and spread it over Kakashi’s too-still body.

“I’m guessing he hasn’t woken up at all yet?”

Naruto sat back on his heels with a sigh. “No.”

“Give it time, kid.”She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck as she rolled her head. “There’s no telling when he will… orif he will. It’s just a waiting game now.”

“I’m going to stay here till he wakes up.”

“Naruto…”

“He’s going to wake up.” Naruto could feel his eyes getting watery as he looked up at her. “He has to! I don’t break my promises!”

I won’t let my nightmare come true!

In a surprising gesture of gentleness, Kurisutaru put her hand on his shoulder. “Keep believing that, kid. That’s the hope we’re running on.”

*******

The first thing Kakashi was aware of was the soft crackling of the fire.

Am I in Hell?

That couldn’t be right. The temperature was comfortable. Plus he was lying on something soft… something much more comfortable than his usual hospital bed.

“Kakashi sensei?”

Naruto?

He opened his eye to see the boy’s face taking up his entire field of vision. A large grin spread over his whiskered face.

“You’re awake! I knew you’d wake up, I knew it!”

Kakashi winced as his student’s loudness cut against his skull like a knife.

Naruto scooted back. “Sorry, sensei,” he said in a quieter tone, but he was vibrating with giddiness.

“So…” Kakashi whispered, his voice rough and scratchy from disuse. “I’m not dead.”

Naruto shook his head, still grinning wildly. “Nope! Told you!”

Kakashi closed his eye, taking a few deep breaths. He felt bone tired and weak. But, at the same time, he felt stronger than he had in a long time. And he quickly realized it was because he could feel his chakra surging through his network. He still didn’t have his full amount, but he could feel that it was actually regenerating rather than just stagnantly circulating.

It was a sensation he was no longer used to.

“How do you feel, sensei?”

Kakashi moved his arms to push himself into a sitting position, but it was clear his body was still weak. Naruto jumped forward and put a supportive arm around his back and gripped his upper arm with his other hand as he helped him to sit. Kakashi didn’t protest it… he probably would have fallen back down to the bed had the boy not intervened. He winced as he sat up, feeling pinpricks of pain along his chakra network. That probably wasn’t unusual. But the pain in his joints was definitely less noticeable.

“How do you feel?” Naruto asked again. “And be honest!”

Kakashi took a deep breath, analyzing his body. He then looked at Naruto with a small smile. “Better.”

Blonde eyebrows narrowed at him. “You sure?”

Kakashi knew why he was asking the question. He must have been out of it for quite a while and he knew he still didn’t look great. He was probably too pale and definitely too thin. He’d still needed help to sit up and he could feel he was still shaky. But his body had been through a lotso it was only normal to assume he wouldn’t bounce back immediately.

“I’m sure.”

Blue eyes filled with happiness. “Really?!?”

Kakashi chuckled. “Really. It’ll be a bit before I’m back to my full strength, but I definitely don’t feel like I’m dying anymore.”

Naruto was beaming and practically bouncing on his toes. “That’s awesome!”

“Yeah,” he agreed before a set of rough coughs stole his air and made his throat burn.

“Do you need some water?”

Kakashi nodded, massaging his throat. He was probably dehydrated, too.

Naruto bounded out of the room and came back only seconds later with a mug. Kakashi took it and, with one hand pulling down his mask, proceeded to drink. The cool water was a balm for his burning throat. He noticed Naruto looked away until he was finished and his mask was back in place.

“Are you hungry, sensei?”

Before Kakashi could answer, his stomach grumbled loudly. He flushed with embarrassment as Naruto laughed.

“Guess that answers that!” the blonde said happily. “Hang on!”

The boy bounded off and was back in just a few minutes with two bowls of rice and egg.

“I grabbed a spoon and chopsticks. I wasn’t sure which one you wanted.”

Kakashi looked at his hand. The tremors he had become so familiar with were lessened, but they were definitely still present.

“I’ll take the spoon. Thank you, Naruto.”

The boy grinned as he handed him the bowl that contained the spoon. “I’ll eat over there,” he said, pointing to the other side of the room.

Kakashi followed his finger. The other side of the room was barren… no table, chair, or even a rug to sit on.

‘Awww, you never eat with us.’

After all this kid had been through and what he had done for him, Kakashi decided that giving up a bit of his privacy was a small price to pay.

“No,” he said, patting the mattress. “Sit here. We will eat together.”

And with that Kakashi hooked his finger in his mask and willingly exposed his face.

He did not need his Sharingan to remember the look of absolute pure joy that graced Naruto’s whiskered face. Gleefully, the kid leapt onto the bed, settling on his knees beside Kakashi’s leg. Kakashi chuckled, placing a spoonful of rice in his mouth.

Had he been at his normal strength, he could have downed the meal in less than five seconds. But it had clearly been days since he’d eaten anything and his stomach definitely wouldn’t appreciate that. So he ate slowly, giving his stomach time to adjust to the food between each bite.

He had actually expected Naruto to be quite chatty, asking him a million and a half questions about his face and his mask. But the boy was surprisingly quiet, a serene smile gracing his features, and he only stole quick glances at Kakashi. He looked content and it made Kakashi’s heart warm.

“This is… nice,” Naruto said quietly, as if afraid he might embarrass his sensei.

“You think so?”

He hummed a confirmation. “It kinda reminds me of when I eat ramen with Iruka sensei.”

Kakashi felt one side of his mouth turn up in a smile. “Is that right?”

“Yeah! I’ve never had a family to eat with, but being with Iruka sensei makes it easy to imagine what it’d be like.”

Kakashi gripped his bowl, not missing the meaning in Naruto’s words. He swallowed the bite of food in his mouth, forcing himself to breathe normally. “You know,” he said, once he was sure his voice would stay in its normal tenor, “family is more than just having blood relations. Family is having those in your life that support and care for you. Those who are there for you in good times and bad. Those who want what’s best for you. Your family can be large or small, but when you have people like that in your life, you are never without family.”

Naruto tapped his chin with his chopsticks. “Are you… saying that we’re a family?”

“I think Iruka sensei would agree with that.”

“No, not that! I mean, yes that, but… what about us? Me, Sasuke, Sakura… and you.”

Kakashi swallowed around the huge lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. Being a lone wolf for so long had made him distant and aloof. He didn’t have a family.

Did he?

But when he looked into those bright blue eyes, so full of life and hope, he dared to think that maybe… just maybe… he did.

“Yes, Naruto.”

The boy looked down at his rice, a small smile curling at his lips. “Cool.”

They finished eating in silence. Kakashi managed half of his rice before his stomach began to feel slightly uncomfortable. Knowing he shouldn’t push it, he lowered his bowl and pulled his mask back up.

“Are you finished, sensei?”

“Yeah.”

Naruto took his bowl and stood. Kakashi watched him as he started walking away.

He looks a little wobbly…

Before he could say anything, the boy collapsed.

“Naruto!”

Kakashi quickly pushed himself to his feet and realized the mistake for what it was. His vision swam and his legs weren’t ready to bear his weight yet. He went down hard, grunting as he caught himself on his palms. His entire body shook from weakness but he gritted his teeth as he slowly crawled to his fallen student, pushing the fallen cutlery aside.

He was panting for breath by the time he reached him and he could feel sweat beading along his forehead and back. But he ignored his body as he felt Naruto’s pulse and was relieved to find it strong and rhythmic. A hand pressed to his forehead assured him there was no fever. But there were dark spots under his eyes that he hadn’t noticed before and his skin was a little pale.

How… did I miss that?

“What’s going on in here? Why are you out of bed?”

Kakashi looked up, seeing Kurisutaru walking in. “Naruto collapsed.”

Kurisutaru sighed. “That’s not surprising. His body is completely worn out.”

“Why —?”

Kurisutaru knelt beside him. “No more questions till you’re back in bed. Your chakra might be regenerating, but your body is still weak from everything that’s happened.”

Kakashi let her hook an arm underneath his shoulder and hoist him to his feet. She practically dragged him back to the bed… he couldn’t move fast enough to keep up with her and didn’t have the strength to resist her manhandling.

“Now stay here,” she told him. “I’ll find somewhere for Naruto.”

“Bring him here,” he said without hesitation.

Kurisutaru went back to Naruto’s side and slid her arms under his prone form. She laid him down beside him, but Kakashi encircled the boy with one arm, pulling him protectively close.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“That kid hasn’t slept in three days waiting for you to wake up.” She pushed her hair back. “He’ll be fine, he just needs rest… especially after the chakra transfer.”

“‘Chakra transfer’?” he repeated.

“After I healed your network, your body still wasn’t going to produce new chakra fast enough to support your system. But you were able to receive a transfusion. Naruto was your donor.”

Kakashi felt his eye go wide. “What?”

Actually, he shouldn’t be surprised. Naruto was the one who had asked about him getting a chakra transfusion the night he told his team he was actually dying.

“I didn’t actually ask him if I could, which isn’t the greatest thing, but I know he wouldn’t have refused.” She looked him dead in the eye. “It’s a good thing the Hokage ordered him to come. After I repaired your network, I had too little chakra to spare to even think of giving you a transfer from myself. That and the fact that I needed the Nine Tail’s chakra to heal you means that if Naruto hadn’t been here, you would have died.” She gestured to the boy. “That kid saved your life.”

Kakashi looked at the small charge he held in his arms. Naruto adjusted in his sleep, laying his head more securely on Kakashi’s chest. He felt a swirl of emotions and he couldn’t even identify them all. He decided he would deal with that later.

He looked at Kurisutaru. “I need to thank you for what you have done.”

She held up her hand. “As I have said from the beginning, I owed you a debt. I am a woman of honor, debts must be paid.”

“Still, you have my thanks.”

She shrugged. “I just did what I had to do. I’ll send Hayano to inform the Hokage that you’re on the mend, but I’d advise you stay at least a week to recover your strength. Then you and Naruto can head back home. Bunta and Miyuna will go with you.”

Kakashi tilted his head slightly. “Where are you off to now?”

“The Land of Iron. I was in the middle of working with a piece of intel when I felt my seal activate in you. I’ve gotten word from one of my sources that bounty might have traveled there. Hopefully the trail hasn’t gone cold… there’s a good price to be had for that one.”

“I understand.”

Kurisutaru crossed her arms. “Well, I guess this is it.”

Kakashi nodded, knowing this was probably the last time their paths would ever cross. “Take care of yourself, Kurisutaru.”

“I will.” She turned to walk away, but stopped at looked back at the boy in Kakashi’s arms. “You know, I was really surprised when I found out you were now a sensei. I think it’s good for you. You’re not as hard as you used to be.”

Kakashi looked down at his precious student, who he was practically cradling. “Are you saying I’ve grown soft?”

She gave a genuine smile, a rare sight. “No, Kakashi. You’ve grown kind.”