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“So, wanna talk about it?”
Verin pushes off the wall where he had been leaning, trying to maintain some semblance of composure, and settles down on the floor. He’s glad he isn’t wearing his full plate, having rushed here too fast, as it makes sitting cross legged much easier. He glances down at the creature that was whipping its tail in agitation.
“I take that as a no?”
The creature stamps its foot and turns to Verin, a familiar look in its eyes. His eyes. Essek’s eyes.
Verin sighs and reaches into his pocket. And then pats the next one, the next–
“Ah, here it is. Thought this might help.” Verin unscrews the lid of the small jar and holds it out. “It’s blackberry, you like this one right?”
His brother, purple, scaly and also somehow soft with tufts of fur, stills with a sigh of resignation. He uncoils and reaches out his paws for the jam jar, then licks from the jar sadly.
Verin could laugh if it isn’t such a serious problem.
He laughs anyway.
Laughs and laughs, until he’s clutching at his chest from the release of decades of stifled mirth.
Essek looks up at him with jam stuck to his face and a sullen expression.
Well, some people don’t have a sense of humor.
[ EIGHT HOURS EARLIER ]
Verin had only met these acquaintances of his older brother’s through a rare sending, and an even rarer letter. Essek’s words had always been carefully chosen and more carefully communicated, and not much had changed from childhood to now. But he had been surprised and pleased when his brother somehow snuck him a communique after whispers in the Dynasty had begun speculating on the possible death of a Shadowhand. Alas, Verin still had an annoying brother whom he was genuinely glad was still quite alive.
With no previous descriptions other than the vaguest of clues, it was only decades of training that kept him from yelping as a sudden bright voice popped into his head.
“Hello! Hi! This is Jester, I'm friends with your brother, but I don’t really know how much he’s told you, oh no- wait, I need-”
Verin recognized the magic piercing into his mind. Protocol dictated that he rush to inform his second in command that he may be compromised and to secure a ring of mind shielding, but ‘Essek’ . Speaking his name was enough to catch his attention, ‘friends of-’ gave him pause. And of course, this voice sounded like “the cheerful loud one” that once had been described.
“Hi again!” Oh, the voice was back. “I’m gonna try and keep it short, but it's so hard! Essek is in big trouble, can’t fix, Uraya can guide, ah-!”
Verin kept his posture straight, still gazing into the distance from his post on the lookout tower in Bazzoxan, waiting and hoping for a part three.
None came.
Uraya…. Starguide Uraya, the one other person Verin imagined also knew his brother as Essek and not only Shadowhand .
He gripped the edge of the wall and sighed from head to toe. He had some messages to send.
[ ONE HOUR EARLIER ]
The blue one was holding an animal gently under the armpits, the long body dangling beneath without much resistance. She was talking excitedly, gesturing enough to make the creature sway with each movement, but it seemed resigned to its fate. Verin was going to ask her to pause and repeat herself in just a second, because right now his whole focus was zeroed in on the creature. Purple grey skin, white tufts of fur… sure the six paws and tail were new, and the extra teeth, but those eyes were familiar .
The half-orc put a hand on the blue one’s shoulder and she paused mid sentence to finally take a breath. Verin looked up then, not wanting to hear his theory confirmed, but needing to know.
“We ran into some trouble. Caleb can explain it better.” The half-orc gestured towards the stairs presumably into another area. Verin had habitually cased the area where he was directed to go, but he hadn’t seen anything but empty space until a glowing door opened to him. Verin hated not knowing what entrances and exits lay in this place.
Fjord smacked his head. “Pardon us, in all this chaos we’ve been so rude. Essek told us about you-”
“Oh yes, he’s told us all about you.” The blue one cut in with a grin.
“But I know communication with you has been, well…” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Fjord, nice to meet you.”
“I’m Jester!” She set the animal on the ground to reach out and shake his hand. The creature immediately skittered over to a human who was sitting on the ground surrounded by a small library’s worth of tomes and scrolls.
“And that’s Caleb, he’s Essek’s special friend.” She smiled wide with a conspiratorial wink, but Verin wasn’t sure what conspiracy he was supposed to be looped into.
“Ja, hullo.” Caleb raised a hand but didn’t look up, still flipping through the pages of a book. “We ran into some unexpected Aeorian magic.” The creature leaned against Caleb’s leg now, paws tucked under him, looking for all the world like a long purple noodle. His eyes were tracking the scroll in Caleb’s hands and he unrolled it. Was he reading it?
“ That’s Essek.” Verin cut to the point. He was never one for small talk anyways.
Caleb looked up then, an appraising look on his face before it shifted into a pleasantly neutral face. Decades of decoding the microexpressions of a Shadowhand gave him some abnormal insight; Verin could see a shade of guilt in his eyes.
“Was it preventable?” Verin looked at each of them in turn, lingering and reading their expressions.
Fjord and Jester exchanged a glance beside Caleb. “Perhaps,” Caleb said, “But you know Essek. When there is research and information to discover…”
Verin didn’t need Caleb to finish the sentence, and he didn’t miss the blatant appeal to his brotherly sensibilities. He still bristled, not liking the implication that these friends, whom he had never met, may know his brother just as well if not more.
As if sensing the tension, Jester piped up. “It was a couple’s date! Me and Fjord, Caleb and Essek. They wanted to go alone –silly wizards– but we told them that after what had happened last time-”
“This isn’t the first time?”
“Oh, uh, well,” Jester chewed her lip. “No, but also yes, it's the first time that has happened.” She pointed at the creature form of Essek.
“Can you reverse it?” Verin didn’t mean for his words to imply a silent ‘or else’ but that was his older brother, his insufferable brilliant brother, now burrowing in the gap between Caleb’s arm and side, looking like an animated scarf.
“We’ve been trying.” Fjord jumped in, trying to regain control of the lid on this boiling pot of a situation. “We’re still testing some options.”
“Researching,” Caleb gestured at his books, “So that we may find a solution.”
“We love him very much, Verin, believe us. We want him to change back too!“
“Okay.” Verin took a deep breath and let the heat of his emotions dissipate. He heard it in her voice; she wasn’t lying. “Okay. Why me?”
“You're his next of kin” Caleb said.
“Oh, I don't like how you said that!” Jester frowned at him.
“Nothing like that,” Caleb rushed to say. Jester looked somewhat appeased. Verin was not. “There is powerful magic in family, in blood. And… I thought you may be of some comfort to him. His mind is there but also it is not. It seems to take conscious effort to stay docile. When he first changed, there were some moments… he did not seem to recognize us at first, not until we reintroduced ourselves. Reminded him.”
“How long. How long has he been like this before you called me?”
Caleb was hesitant, eyeing Verin. Fjord answered instead. “Four days.”
“We’re so sorry Verin!” Jester pressed her hands to her cheeks, her eyes bright. “We were trying everything and we haven’t really slept much yet and gosh, first we had to get back from deep in Aeor and get somewhere safer. And I tried asking Artie but he was useless, and-” She reached out like she was going to take his hand in hers, but stopped midway in the air.
“You all didn’t trust me.” Verin’s voice was low.
She grabbed his hand, distressed. “That is not true. Essek trusts you and so we trust you. It was just that, well, Essek is so embarrassed to look like this.”
“I don’t think that’s exactly-” Fjord started.
“No, no, no, I can tell. See how he-” Jester interrupted.
Verin tuned out the chatter. Embarrassed? He glanced down at the creature, which seemed to have picked up on the mood of the conversation if not the exact words. It was peeking out from behind a stack of books, not very hidden at all, but acting as if it was invisible. His tail twitched and knocked a scroll aside. His shiny eyes blinked from behind the stack.
Verin grinned. “Oh, I’m never going to forget what he looks like right now. Don't worry brother, this isn't embarrassing for you. Yet. ”
[ NOW ]
“See, isn’t that better than whatever potion you just drank?” Verin is trying to keep from laughing again but Essek has a little jam mustache on his face. He stifles his giggles behind a hand, feigning interest in the ceiling suddenly.
A tail thunks against his side and he looks down. Essek is nudging the jam jar towards him with a paw.
“Sorry brother, I only brought the one.”
Essek paws at the jar again, making a funny sort of purr-whine.
“I’ve never been able to read your mind.” He picks up the glass jar, seeing it now crystal clean from Essek’s tongue. “Oh, are you trying to thank me? You liked it?”
The purple creature, Essek –oh how he’ll never get used to this– stretches out his neck slowly to nudge Verin’s knee with his nose.
“Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be so affectionate before. These friends of yours must be real special to you.” Verin attempts to keep his voice light, but his words came out more serious than joking.
Essek sits up on his hind legs, front paws clasping together, looking as contemplative as a creature without eyebrows could. Slowly he nods. Looks back at Verin and deliberately nods again.
Softness comes over Verin’s words and features. “That much, huh. Looks like I’ve missed a lot in your life.” He prods Essek with his knee. “But you’ve never been one to share much.”
Essek sits back down and curls up next to him, acquiescing to the direction of this conversation.
After a minute of Essek’s round eyes staring at him Verin blurts out “Can we do better?”
Essek tilts his head inquisitively.
“In the broad sense. In life. Consecution and rebirth and hoping for better next time…” Verin sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I know you don’t believe in –well– no nevermind that's not what I’m talking about.” He drops his voice low, speaking what he rarely does. “I’ve met people so assured of their next life that they don’t try and fix what they have now.”
His brother uncurls and leans toward him, lightly placing a paw on his knee. He looks concerned.
Verin smiles wryly. “You’re not the only one who has lived a life while we were apart.” He lowers his own hand to drop one finger on top of Essek’s paw. It looks so small, even if those claws seem sharp enough to strike deep if they wanted. “Can we do better? I know it will be complicated, but I don’t want you to disappear from my life again. Plus-” He glances through the open doorway to where a very animated Jester was practically force feeding Fjord and Caleb and begging that they take a research break. “I have so many questions.”
Essek retracts his paw suddenly. He shudders and then flops on the ground convulsing. Verin shoots to his feet, yelling. “Get in here! Something is wrong!”
There’s a crashing noise, rapid footsteps, and Essek’s three friends rush to surround him. Jester and Caleb both drop to their knees, Jester saying words so quickly that Verin can’t tell if they are swears or prayers. Caleb pulls off his scarf and folds it into a makeshift pillow to tuck beneath Essek.
“ Schatz , please, come back to us.”
“Is this supposed to happen?” Verin shouts, feeling unable to control his volume.
“I don’t know.” Fjord is intensely watching Jester work. “It’s beyond me, but I trust them.”
Trust. There’s that word again.
Verin watches Caleb run soothing hands across Essek’s body as Jester keeps muttering. He has a sword and a tactician’s mind, but he doesn’t know what to do now to help his brother.
Then just as suddenly, Essek’s body stops flailing and stills, his chest heaving with each breath.
“Verin!” Jester surprises him as she grabs his arm and yanks down. “Come here.” She places his hand on top of Essek’s strange body and stares at him intensely. “Think of him.”
“I don't know what you-”
“He’s your brother! Think of all the memories and childhood and everything that makes him Essek. All the good and the bad, maybe mostly good, but all that you know. Everything special about him, all Essek. Only think about that!”
The directions were a little unclear but Verin complies, trying to focus on all the threads of life that converged into Essek. The hours in his room with his books, ignoring Verin, annoyed with him. The times they hid from courtly functions under Verin’s bed, giggling as they tried to keep each other quiet. Essek floating for the first time. Verin throwing crumpled up paper across class to get his attention. Essek gifting Verin a book on historical combat. Verin sitting with Essek and watching the rain outside the window on a dark night, the first night after their father did not come back. Essek, his brother, Essek his rival, Essek his mentor, Essek…his friend .
Caleb is holding his hand to Essek too, as are Jester and Fjord.
And something starts happening.
Essek’s body rises a foot into the air and the four of them struggle to keep hand contact. The light in the room cranks up brighter and colder, all the warm candles leak color until they are globes of searing white that force Verin to close his eyes. He can still feel Essek beneath his hand, and so he holds on tight even with no vision. He hears a cry in the odd silence that the light seemed to bring; he can’t tell if it is Essek or Jester or someone else. Then the body beneath his hand drops and thuds to the floor. The lights shudder and blink off. Verin opens his eyes and sees someone he hasn’t seen for a long while.
“Dalni.” Big brother.
He has the benefit of dark vision and can see Essek before anyone else conjures lights. Essek is breathing like he had just sprinted up a mountain, but seems otherwise unhurt. He tilts his head to look up at Verin, who remembers he is not alone in having dark sight.
“Ninuk.” Little brother .