Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“How can this be?”

The words barely escaped Ghetsis’ mouth. His throat felt like it was collapsing in on itself, and he wasn’t sure if he could get another word out before vomiting. Despite what little noise he managed to make, the walls of the cave he now felt trapped in reverberated the sound of his voice. He let out a weak cough before continuing, bearing the full extent of his weight on his cane as his body began to shake.

“I’m the creator of Team Plasma! I’m perfect!”

The affirmation rang out through the cavern, meaningless to all but its speaker. If the two standing opposite from him had any sort of reaction on their faces, Ghetsis would not have known. As much as he hated it, the tears pooling in his eye made them nothing but amorphous shapes. Maybe it was better not to see someone’s true feelings about him.

“I’m the absolute ruler who will change the world!”

He felt their eyes on him. He could only assume their hatred was burning through him, and that must have been why his body was refusing to work.

“And…” Ghetsis pushed his voice to the brink, desperately wishing it would stop shaking. “And I’ve lost to some unknown trainer not once, but TWICE?! ”

No. He needed to catch his thoughts. Collect his head. No, clear his breath. NO! 

With a large huff, he turned away from the faceless child. He just needed to be able to think straight again. It should’ve been easy. Just one foot in front of the other, in front of the other, in front of the other, in front of the other…turn around. One foot, two foot, one foot, two foot, one foot…

No amount of mindless pacing would allow Ghetsis’ brain to wrap around the situation he found himself in. He tore himself around, gritting his teeth as his hateful gaze fell upon N.

The boy’s eyes did not avert from his. Ghetsis paused for a moment, in mild surprise that the fear he was so used to seeing in his son’s eyes was absent.

What replaced the fear was…

Sadness.

Ghetsis’ nose turned up in an instant. Was that pity on his face?! He felt his rage boiling all the way up to his head.

“I can’t accept this! This isn’t possible!” He yelled with a second wind only a disgrace could give him. “I can’t be bested by fools who can’t even use Pokémon correctly!”

N let out a sigh. “It’s hard to call you this, but…” 

He stepped slightly away from Ghetsis, anticipating his reaction before the words even came out. “Father! Please understand. Pokémon are not tools. Pokémon and humans take each other to greater heights. They are our wonderful partners…” 

He sighed, feeling his words go nowhere. “Some humans understand this. Why can’t you?”

Humans…

Being human.

That was the only thing Ghetsis had over N anymore.

Yet, there N was acting as if he was the one who lacked humanity. He couldn’t bear to even face the boy anymore.

The shaking in Ghetsis’ body returned. “Shut your mouth!” 

He just wanted to run. Or slam his face into the wall. Throw his cane at the floor. Dig his nails into his eye. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut UP!” Screaming burned his throat. He needed to get out of here, out of his own head. 

“Don’t talk like a person, you freak! ” He slammed his cane into the dirt. “No real person could talk to Pokémon!”

He felt his heart rate going into overdrive. The fire in his throat spread lower to the rest of his body, and the strength left in his legs wore away. 

This was it. It was over.

The cave around him began to dim to nothing as his balance slipped away from him.

Before hitting the ground, Ghetsis felt a pair of arms receive him.

His eye shot open. Oh, he didn’t fall.

It was just one of his Shadows, as loyal as ever. 

Were they here, ready to catch him, this entire time? He let his body relax a bit into their arms, relieved that someone was here to protect him. He was most relieved that not everyone had betrayed him in his biggest time of need.

“Lord Ghetsis has…lost control…” He heard them say. It was true that he couldn’t will his legs to walk anymore. 

“We’ll take it from here…” They put an arm protectively around his head. Secretly, Ghetsis preferred to be unable to see the others.

“Okay…” N sounded defeated, as if he hadn’t utterly humiliated him. “Without Father, Team Plasma is…”

They did not allow him to finish his sentence. “Farewell.” 

And with that, they disappeared, Ghetsis feeling himself go along with them. 

The last thing he heard before losing consciousness again was the sound of his cane clattering against the ground.

The first thing that occurred to him when he awoke was the agonizing, mind-numbing pain.

Time had fully evaded him, but in his current state he had been left far, far behind. Through what vision he had, he couldn’t see a clock anywhere in the oddly familiar room.

His heart jumped in his chest. What was this awful room, devoid of time, atmosphere, and life? It was only a beige cube, a nightmarish display of minimalism that made Ghetsis feel as if he’d woken up in a furniture advertisement.

At least he was still well enough to be bitchy, he thought. A very brief attempt to sit up later, he settled back down into the bed he had somehow been placed in with a grimace. It was one of two pieces of furniture in the room, the other being a drab drawer with what looked to be claw marks in it. 

Ghetsis groaned as he felt his stomach churn. That was the spark of recognition he needed to realize it was that place. Yes, where he always ended up at some point no matter what age or stage or status he currently held in life. 

Fucking psych ward, he thought. If he could have brought himself to speak at that moment, he probably would have started screaming more obscenities into the ether. They didn’t have quite the impact when they were just in his mind, though. He looked towards the ceiling as he felt that brief moment of clarity passing him by.

His head throbbed in pain as it moved, just one part of his entire body screaming at him for help. While he couldn’t do much more than lie there in this state, he wouldn’t say it was the worst pain he had ever been in. No, it was more like a dull purple cloud stuck over his body, rather than the red flames of hell he sometimes felt like were on him. It wasn’t the worst possible situation to be in without painkillers.

Fuck. Ghetsis didn’t have any pills on him, did he? He had been displaced from the clothing he had on before passing out, so there wasn’t even a chance of having anything. Though in his panicked state earlier, he highly doubted he had brought any in the first place. In his unending hubris, he had assumed the Kyurem issue would be resolved within the hour. It wasn’t even a possibility in any of the scripts he had thought up in his head, pacing around the Frigate talking to himself for hours at a time, that he could have ever lost.

He shut his eye tightly, not wanting to think about his loss at all. It was his freshest wound now, and it shot such sharp pain into his chest to even think about.

When was someone going to arrive? He hadn’t the slightest clue of how much time had elapsed, but the worry that he had missed doses of very much required medication was starting to get to him.

He must have still been unconscious when he was admitted here. That didn’t seem right, did it? Wouldn’t he have been in the regular hospital first to ensure he wasn’t dying or something? Maybe he was out for so long that he was triaged during that time as well. All he knew was that knowing so little bothered him so much. Perhaps his Shadows managed to pull something out of their asses, knowing he’d rather die than be arrested.

Or maybe it was Colress.

Ghetsis felt his entire digestive tract recoil at his mind going in that direction. He hadn’t thought once about his husband during any of this ordeal. Not since learning he had gone back on everything they had built together. Ghetsis had been so hopped up, so close to that power he desperately sought, that Colress’ betrayal had barely even sunk in past the initial rage.

Until this point, of course. His stomach twisted as he thought about how ready Colress was to just throw him away. Of the terrible things he must have told everyone who would listen about him. Did he fold as soon as he was confronted by that trainer? Maybe his lies about simply being an innocent scientist caught up to him quicker than he had intended. Or…had he planned to betray Ghetsis this entire time? 

The pain in his chest was only worsening. It felt like Ghetsis’ heart was physically breaking in two as he realized his marriage was actively shattering. He could only let out a miserable little sigh.

Truth be told, he had known for months that he wasn’t going to be spending the rest of his life with the man. There was definitely sadness in his heart at his relationship’s decay, but he never imagined it would end this way. He had hoped that if his plan had succeeded, all of their issues would magically go away and they could be happy again.

No marriage is perfect, right? And it’s not like everything was awful - he still got plenty of affection at night - but the thought of speaking to his husband right then made him ridiculously anxious. As of the last few months, they could barely get a word in without it turning into a struggle. It was just impossible not to provoke the other’s temper, Colress being far too ready to ridicule and Ghetsis being just plain unstable. But if Ghetsis chose not to speak at all, he’d be faced with a confrontation on who he was giving his attention to instead.

He groaned. That surely must have been why his husband hadn’t come to this place to see him. Now that Ghetsis was institutionalized, Colress would easily be able to leave him without the stress of a divorce proceeding. 

Not that Ghetsis didn’t also want to leave the relationship. Being alone simply felt worse than being unhappy, and he knew damn well he was on very limited time by this point. He’d say he only had ten or so more years left, and he didn’t want to spend the worst years to come by himself.

Staring down at his rings, he gritted his teeth. He wished he could just rip them off, but he was in far too much pain to do something so particular. His chest hadn’t stopped screaming at him, making him realize he should probably try to tell somebody. Maybe there was someone outside he just couldn’t see.

When he tried to vocalize his distress, it came out only as a quiet gurgle. 

Great. He couldn’t speak. Given the toxic pool of thoughts his head had been swimming in for what was possibly hours, being nonverbal was not what he wanted.

What kind of backwards place lacked an alarm he could press? Oh, well. He’d simply have to become the alarm.

After several minutes of thrashing and screaming, he was finally joined by an array of nurses. 

“Mr. Harmonia?”

He heard the voice from somewhere in the room. While his impulsive strategy succeeded, its side effect was that he couldn’t really…stop. Now it was like every spring of the mattress was stabbing into his back. The walls were closing in on him and he could hear every inch, the pain stopping him from getting away. And now he was suddenly surrounded by strangers that, too, were quickly approaching him. 

“Mr. Harmonia.”

He then felt a light touch on his shoulder, scaring him so much that he burst into tears. Everything hurt so much, even his brain felt like it was drying out within his skull. He just didn’t know what was happening.

“Was he supposed to be left by himself?” One nurse asked.

“Oh, probably not.” Another replied. “Get him some water, will you?”

That nurse then turned back to Ghetsis, looking apprehensive at the mistake they had already made in letting him be alone. 

“Mr. Harmonia, can you look at me?”

He lightly peeked over the pillow he had been hiding his face behind, arms quivering as they tightened around it.

“You seem to be having a panic attack. Is that something that happens to you a lot?”

Ghetsis could not speak. His lips refused to move. 

“Everything will be alright. You just need to breathe and we can take care of whatever is going on. Water is coming for you.”

His tears continued flowing. Why couldn’t he speak? He was in so much pain, why couldn’t he tell them that? He buried his face in the pillow, staining it with whatever was left of his cried-off mascara.

The next thing he knew, his chin was lifted and a cup was placed up to his lips. 

He furrowed his brow. He was not going to drink whatever this was in front of him, that was one thing he knew. It had to have been some ploy to sedate him and keep him docile. He turned his head away with a jolt. 

“Come on, Ghetsis. It’s only water.” The nurse kept pushing the cup near him. “May I use your first name?”

He spat in their direction. The disrespect he felt only made him angrier, and in a flash he punted the pillow away as hard as he could.

Ghetsis yelped as limb after limb of the nurses shot out to restrain him. He knew that was going to happen eventually, but it didn’t hurt any less. Angry tears poured down his face as he continued to cry out. He wasn’t going to hurt them. There was no possible way he could attack anyone more than once when he was having a harder and harder time getting his body to even listen to him.

He felt one of their hands touch his neck. After only a few seconds, the hand recoiled away from him.

“Oh, Arceus!” Yelped the nurse. “His heart’s way too fast.”

Yeah. He’d have told them that if he could. It had been speedrunning his pacemaker’s battery for hours.

Another nurse whipped out some kind of pager, dialing rapidly for help. 

“Alright, Mr. Harmonia.” They looked at him. “You’re going to be getting a quick transfer to the emergency department.”

Ghetsis felt a small amount of relief, but the pain in his chest remained. Even in his panicked state knew something was seriously wrong now, but he couldn’t focus on anything long enough to think about it. 

The constant fear was quickly exhausting him, not even having the energy to cry anymore. 

“Oh, no no no no.” A nurse tapped his shoulder. “You can’t fall asleep on us now. You have to stay awake, okay?”

He assumed he let out a noise of some kind, because their expression grew even more worried.

“Mr. Harmonia, I’m afraid you may not wake up if you fall asleep right now. It won’t take so long, I promise. They’re coming as quickly as they can.”

Why should he stay awake, he thought. He was tired. He had nothing left. Just let him have a little rest. Just a few moments. Just resting his eyes, even…

His vision was beginning to go out on him, but he felt his body lifting up, up, up…

Was it over?

No. His eye drifted back open for a moment as the halls of the hospital quickly passed him by. Something was happening, at least.

It wasn’t good, though.

When his consciousness returned to him next, he saw he was fully hooked up to every machine in the room. It was quite alarming how he didn’t even perceive any of that enough to experience the pain of such treatment, but he couldn’t convince himself to care.

A nurse rushed into the room, flipping pages frantically from a clipboard.

“Mr. Harmonia!” They, too, tried to speak to him. “Are you supposed to be on any medications? You’re experiencing some alarming symptoms, but…there doesn’t appear to be anything prescribed on your records here.”

What?

Ghetsis knew damn well that the list of medications he took each day took up at least one page. At the very least.

He began coughing and sputtering, just trying desperately to tell them what had to have been going wrong. The exertion from his chest made his heart start working even harder, shooting agony through his body. 

Ghetsis’ eye drifted downward as it dawned on him that there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t do anything to save himself.

His breathing grew quicker. He wasn’t ready to die. It was never supposed to end like this. It was never supposed to end AT ALL! There was nothing he could do. He breathed. He shook. He breathed. He was so tired. He breathed. He couldn’t let this happen. He breathed. In, out, in, out…in, out…in…out…in…

Ghetsis fell asleep.

It was over.

Chapter Text

    A warm beam of sunlight shone through the window onto the kitchen within. It was a February morning, but N could still enjoy the sun he did get. A quiet morning was just what he needed right now.

    Several days had passed since his horrible confrontation with Ghetsis. N wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to refer to the man anymore. Father, mother…none of those were right anymore. He had actively been avoiding Ghetsis for years before he was all but dragged to him.

    The worst part was the hurt of how little Ghetsis truly cared for him anymore. N had hoped that - somewhere, anywhere deep in his icy heart - he actually did have love for his family. He knew Ghetsis’ condition had worsened, and he naively hoped that if he tried to help the man that he would stop and consider his actions.

    Ghetsis just didn’t care though. He only wanted N there for what he had - and hadn’t even mentioned his sisters once. Did he even remember that they existed? Had he thought about his children at all during their time apart?

    N sighed, stirring the tea in his cup. None of that really mattered now. He was sure the Shadow Triad had simply whisked him away once again; hopefully at least he would pick a different place to terrorize upon his recovery. Not that he didn’t care about whoever would have to deal with Ghetsis next, but he was just so exhausted from being afraid of him.

    “AH!” He yipped after feeling a touch on his back.

    He turned at once, seeing that it was only Anthea. His shoulders slumped in relief.

    “Oh, I’m sorry!” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

    “Oh…I forgive you.” He let out a breath. “My name would have been better, I think.”

    “The Woobats are sleeping!” She stated.

    “Ah…good point.” He looked down at his tea. “I hope I didn’t yell too loud…”

    “They forgive you, I’m sure.” She picked up a cup of her own.

    Before she could take a sip, both of them were spooked by someone knocking on their door. 

    “Who could that be?” Anthea looked towards the house’s entrance.

    N sighed. “I’ll get it…” 

    His sister followed closely behind as he made his way to the door. Carefully, he slowly peeked through the window.

    Anthea slightly tilted her head upon seeing N’s eyes go wide. “Who is it?” She whispered.

    “...Colress.” He backed away from the door.

    “Oh…shit!” She looked at the door. “Are you going to let him in?”

    “I’ll…I guess I’ll open the door.” He put his hand on the doorknob, uneasy.

    “Good morning, Natural.” Colress spoke upon the door finally opening, a somber tone dampening his usual energy. 

    N grimaced. “Please…don’t call me Natural.”

    “Oh!” Colress let out a dry chuckle. “I apologize! I never quite understood why Ghetsis named you that anyway. He saw himself as a very natural parent, didn’t he?”

    The pun didn’t help. “Yes. He called himself…‘crunchy’.” N shook his head. 

    Colress continued to laugh. “I haven’t heard that word in years. Ah…” He smiled for a moment before snapping his eyes open. “You must be wondering why I’m here!”

    “Of course.” 

    “Well…” His face fell. “It’s about your father.”

    N stared wordlessly at him. 

    “You know. My husband? Whom I live with and would therefore know a lot about?”

    N sighed. “Okay…come in.”

    Reluctantly, he allowed Colress to enter his home, shutting the door as quietly as possible behind him. After quietly greeting Anthea, Colress planted himself on the couch.

    “Where’s your sister?” He put his fingers together.

    “She’s still in bed, I think…” Anthea looked towards the hallway.

    “Wait…how did you know I have two sisters?” N stared at Colress.

    “Ghetsis did talk about all of you! He might have even missed you a little bit.”

    “So why are you here…but not him?”

    Colress frowned. “That’s why I’m here, actually. All of you need to hear what I have to say.”

    After being rushed awake by Anthea, Concordia stepped out into the room. She was still rubbing sleep from her eyes when she noticed the unexpected guest.

    “Mr. Gropius!” She gasped. “What are you doing here?”

    “Harmonia Gropius.” Colress pointed his finger up. “I’m part of this family too, you know.”

    The three stared at him silently.

    “Ahem.” He began awkwardly. “There’s some news I have to share with you all. It isn’t good.”

    “Oh…” Anthea already had her own suspicions. 

    “I knew it would be best for me to tell you all before the media found out, so…” Colress let out a large sigh. “Ghetsis was taken to the hospital after…well, whatever outburst it was that you saw, N.”

    “Yes…” N slowly nodded. It had happened multiple times while he was growing up, after all. Sometimes he wouldn’t see Ghetsis for an entire month or more.

    “He…He’d had an argument with me just before it was time to enact his plan. I knew he wouldn’t want to see me, so…” He looked down at the floor. “I didn’t visit him there…”

    “Is he trapped in there?” Concordia asked.

    “No, no. Not anymore.” Colress gritted his teeth. “You see…there was a…mishap, let’s say. And it was no minor infraction.”

    “Please get to the point…” N crossed his arms. These theatrics were only increasing his anxiety.

    “They didn’t give him his medications.” His hands sunk to his lap. “He was in there for two or three days.”

    The three were quiet once again.

    “Does that mean…” Anthea started.

    “Yes.” Colress stared forward. “He’s dead.”

    Shock shot through them as the atmosphere of the room turned completely toxic. Every word made it harder and harder to speak. What was anyone supposed to even say to that?

    “Dead?” N spoke. “Like-”

    “Dead. Deceased. Passed away, whatever the hell you want to call it!” Colress huffed through his frustration. “His heart just…gave up.”

    N slowly sank down onto a chair, unable to process the information he was just given. If Ghetsis was dead, that meant…he would never have to see him again.

    Was that a good thing? Was he happy?

    He didn’t really know.

    He felt Anthea sit next to him. “Are you okay?”

    “I feel…sad.” He stared blankly. “But not like I want to cry.” He looked over at his sisters. “Are you sad?”

    “Why aren’t you asking how I feel?” Colress blurted before either of them could respond. “I’m suffering too! I lived with him for the past two years!”

    “I lived with him for 17 years.” Concordia glared at him. “You were not part of our upbringing. Us three will grieve as a family.”

    “Oh!” He slammed his face into his hands, bursting into audible sobs. 

    Anthea gently shushed him. “Careful, you’ll wake the-” 

    It was too late. A few chirps could be heard from one of the windows, as two Woobats flew curiously to the sobbing man on their couch. They gently nudged at him with their noses, fur lightly tickling at his skin.

    Colress looked up and saw them. “What? What are you doing here?”

    “We have a Woobat house outside…” Anthea continued. “You woke them up.”

    “They’re trying to comfort you…” N elaborated. “Woobats are very kind creatures…they don’t like seeing anyone cry.”

    “Ah…” Colress pushed the little furballs away from him, eliciting sad chirps from them. “I’ll be alright. I don’t need them.”

    N quickly scooped them up in his arms, doing very little to hide his disdain. He could not fathom any good reason to reject a Woobat, such pure of heart beings that their love for everything was reflected in the shape of their own noses. 

    However, he decided not to speak on the matter as to not police Colress’ grief. Maybe he just couldn’t be affectionate right now.

    “Alright, well…” N stood, letting the Woobats rest in his hair. “Thank you for coming here to tell us…it must have been hard.”

    “Oh, you know it.” Colress stood as well, wiping his face with his hand. “Thank you as well for letting me in, at least.”

    N let out what must have been the world’s largest sigh when Colress finally left. He didn’t hate the man or anything, but he hoped the way he had acted was just due to the agony of losing his husband. If that was his default…at least he was unlikely to return.

    After letting the Woobats back outside, he returned to his sisters.

    “So…Father is…” He spoke.

    “Gone. We won’t ever see him again.” Concordia continued his thought.

    “Does that mean we’re…safe?” Anthea looked at her siblings.

    “It seems that way.” Concordia sounded less sad.

    “I guess there’s no need for us to hide anymore.” N couldn’t believe it. 

    “You’d be willing to move?” Concordia asked.

    “...No…No, living with Pokémon is still best for us, I think.” He nodded. “But we can go in public now…”

    “So we can be human again?” Anthea laughed. “Sometimes only seeing you guys drives me nuts!”

    N giggled. “Yes, I think we can…it’ll be nice to talk to people who aren’t family.”

    “Exactly!” She said. “We can go shopping…we can get jobs…we can be normal people!”

    Anthea was right. He had to consider that. Now that Ghetsis was dead, he could finally live freely and authentically as a member of society, however he wished. Realizing he had been held back from life for nearly two decades, he felt uneasy at the idea of suddenly being thrown into complete freedom.

    At the same time, he had one additional thing now that would get him through these complicated emotions to his future.

    Hope.

    ---

    Many months had passed since N had learned of his father’s death.  There was no funeral, as he had never received any word from Colress on what would be done. Really, he would prefer not to be involved with that anyway. How was he supposed to react to seeing the corpse of someone he had feared for his entire life? For once, N wouldn’t be the vulnerable one, but it still made him feel uncomfortable. He tried not to worry about that too often, sure that whatever Colress did with him was what Ghetsis told him to do.

    It would be a lie to say that he’d spent this time suffering - in fact, he was on his way to his first ever job interview as the thoughts were on his mind. A little flower shop had just opened in Driftveil, and N liked the idea of being part of a small business like that. He would never work at a Pokémon Center, believing them to be a monopoly that only encouraged reckless use of Pokémon’s power. Battles weren’t always bad, he felt he had learned, but he thought they should be treated with more respect.

    He came upon the door of the shop. At least flowers didn’t play with his moral compass. As much.

    The woman behind the counter smiled when he came through the door. “N! You’re…” She looked down at her watch. “Oh! Right on time to the minute!”

    He smiled, hearing himself not be called Natural for once. “Yes, I am.” He was very proud of his timekeeping abilities as well.

    “It’s good to see you.” She nodded. “Have you ever worked before?”

    “...No, no job experience.” He swallowed nervously. “I took care of my father’s garden, though. My sisters taught me everything I know.”

    “Oh, right…” She paused. “I’m…sorry for your loss?” She said, unsure of whether or not that was something he wanted to hear.

    “It’s okay…” He sighed. “He would’ve never let me do anything like this.”

    “Really?” She seemed sad to hear it.

    “Yes…I didn’t live with him anymore, but I never felt safe. I knew someone was always watching me.”

    “Oh, I’ve heard.” She frowned. “Was watching the news hard for you?”

    N recoiled in confusion. “The news?” He put a hand up near his face. “I don’t…I don’t watch the news.”

    “Oh, honey.” She shook her head. “That’s gotta be for the best. Your father was all the news talked about for a month. They were trying so hard to interview you, too. You really never heard about it?”

    “No. I haven’t…” He turned away. “I…don’t like being treated like a celebrity.”

    “Don’t worry, hun.” She forced a smile. “I won’t treat you like a spectacle. If anyone is weird, I’ll let you go to the back, okay?”

    “Okay!” Relief showed on his face. “Wait, does that mean…?”

    She giggled. “Yes, I think I’ll hire you.”

    “Really?” He looked around. “You…didn’t ask me any questions?”

    “I asked you one!” She shrugged. “But no, I wasn’t looking for experts. You’ll do just fine. Can you start Monday?”

    “Uh…Okay!” He smiled a bit. “Thank you.”

    After a few more pleasantries were exchanged, N was out the door. He couldn’t believe how easy that was. He had a job! He never imagined that this day would come.

    “Oh, there you are.” Concordia greeted him when he arrived home. She seemed to be absentmindedly washing some fruit, the banana in her hand shining with enough cleanliness already.

    “Hi, N!” Anthea greeted him as well, perched in front of one of the few electronics they owned, a laptop. They’d stolen it two years ago from the at-the-time fresh ruins of their castle, a machine previously owned by their father. He’d use it to watch strange colorful-looking videos, fully entranced in them like a toddler upon being presented some shiny keys. 

    N sat down on the couch beside her. “Hello…” He stretched out onto the armrest like a lazy cat.

    “Well? How’d it go?” Anthea asked him, totally unaffected by his strange posture.

    “I got it…starting Monday.” He yawned.

    “That’s good! Good job!” She slapped his hand in a half-assed high five sort of move. “How much are you making?”

    N stared quietly at her.

    “...You didn’t ask?”

    “Of course not…” He slapped his forehead. 

    “I’m sure you’ll be fine!” She teased, before going back to clacking away at the laptop.

    N curiously peeked over, his eyes widening at the unfamiliar display. “What are you doing?”

    “Just college things.” She pointed to a place on the screen. “It’ll be nice to not have to do it completely online anymore.”

    He nodded in some kind of understanding. Since they had moved here, Anthea had been keeping herself busy by somehow using the internet to go to university. After 15 years of being taught almost exclusively by his father in a face-to-face fashion, he had no idea how she could manage to learn on a screen.

    “Oh!” She lightly jabbed him. “And you’re not the only one who’s going to get a job.” 

    “Hm? What are you going to do?” He tilted his head.

    “I’m going to apply for an internship! It’ll be over the summer, so I won’t be too busy.” 

    “An internship…” N had a hard time envisioning his sister in a corporate type of job.

    “Yes! For the IRS.” 

    His mouth fell open. “The…IRS?”

    “You know, taxes.” She turned back to her laptop. 

    “Why would you want to work for them?” N turned up his nose.

    “Taxes can be good! Do you think Pokémon Centers would be free without everyone contributing?” She laughed. “Plus, it feels like payback for Father’s inheritance.”

    “Oh…” N considered her words. “I guess…” He muttered, pretending to understand. His mind was still focused on his impending employment.

    “What about you, Dia?” Anthea looked over at her sister. 

    Concordia laughed. “I think I’ll pass on all of that. Someone needs to keep our Pokémon cared for, anyway.”

    “Yeah, I get that.” She plopped back down on the couch, smiling. “I like that we live together.”

    “Me too…” N sat back up, having sunk down quite a bit. “I wouldn’t like being alone, I think.”

    “We’re all each other has.” Concordia spoke from the kitchen.

    “For now, anyway…” N crossed his arms. “If I make any human friends…”

    “Don’t say that!” Anthea said. “Everyone likes you, you surely will.”

    “I will have hope.” He nodded.

    It wasn’t a lie. He was relieved his branching out into the world had gone so well - it certainly hadn’t failed him yet. 

    He was safe, everyone was happy, he was happy too.

    Everything was going to be okay.

Chapter Text

    What do you do when you find yourself in complete darkness? You open your eyes, and it feels no different than when they were closed. Do you scream for help? Cry, maybe? Run around with the risk that comes with not being able to see? Or do you just lay there like a scared, defenseless child?

    Ghetsis was currently choosing the last option. Fear was coursing through his body, a form that felt so unbelievably light, like he was nothing but air. He felt his eyes opening and closing as he tried to see something, anything, but his vision remained nonexistent. 

    He reached out, trying to feel anything beneath his fingers, but couldn’t perceive a thing. Not even the ground underneath him. How was he not falling? Or was he falling, and he just had no clue?

    Was he asleep? Was he dead? 

    He should’ve been. The pain before he had passed out was nothing like he had ever experienced before.

    Yet…the pain had disappeared. He wasn’t in pain. At all. Ghetsis hadn’t lived a day without pain for many years. 

    Oh…he had to be dead. He rolled onto his back, whimpering in fear. What kind of cruel god would put him in a purgatory like this?

    His ears perked up, despite their heavy feeling. Was that…music? It was coming from directly in front of him, but he still couldn’t see.

    “W-what…” Ghetsis could speak, but his voice quivered intensely.

    And then there was light.

    Ghetsis cowered away as his vision turned white. The area directly in front of him lit up, bringing sight to his eyes. He realized he was just in an empty room.

    “Hellooooo…” He heard a voice coming from the strange light.

    He jumped and looked towards the light. His heart plummeted into his stomach as the sparks of recognition went off in his head.

    Standing in front of him, in a world that appeared so impossibly close, was his husband.

    “Colress?” He choked out a response.

    “Yes, my dear.” Colress couldn’t even start to hide the grin on his face. Ghetsis could see Colress’ lab behind him, messy as usual. What surprised him was the level of detail that he could see, even being able to make out some of the words on the papers scattering his desk.

    Ghetsis immediately felt the tears in his eyes. The confusion and fear leaked into his mind, he couldn’t wrap it around what was going on.

    Colress quickly bent down out of view, coming back up with a slice of cake. “Happy birthday to youuuu!” He sang.

    “...What?” Ghetsis blinked.

    “I had to finish the song, Ghetsis.” He smiled. “It’s your birthday!”

    Well, he certainly wasn’t a singer. “My birthday?!” Ghetsis spat. “It was only just January, was it not?”

    “Oh, sweetheart.” Within a few taps of his phone, he showed Ghetsis the calendar on the screen.

    November 5, 2035.

    “WHAT?” Ghetsis couldn’t believe his eyes.

    “Mhm!” Colress grinned. “So…happy 45th birthday!”

    That just couldn’t be possible. He had only just turned 43, he couldn’t possibly have missed a birthday. “No. That’s not…NO!”

    “Why would I have to lie about the date to you, dear?” Colress said. “Unless you just aren’t impressed with how long this all took…”

    “...This?”

    He giggled. “You haven’t even looked at yourself yet. I guess I should be glad you’re too focused on me.”

    Ghetsis let out a breath, cautiously letting his eyes lower to view himself. He could only let out a whimper as his balance grew shaky. 

    His skin had become a pale blue. Sure, it was far smoother than it had been the last time he saw his body, but it was fucking blue! 

    Then it occurred to him that he was completely unclothed. He let out a shriek as he attempted to cover himself with his hands, only to realize he was completely missing one. In fact, his entire right arm was simply not there. It was missing! It didn’t even look amputated, it was like it was never there in the first place.

    At least he didn’t seem to actually have any parts that needed covering. He felt intense embarrassment at the thought of just standing there nude, even in front of his husband, but it…could have been worse, he thought.

    Regardless, the tears stung his eyes as they fell. “Colress…what have you done to me?” He couldn’t even muster a yell.

    “Well, my love…” Colress finished a bite of the cake. “I saved you.”

    “...Saved…” He grew enraged. “Saved?! You didn’t even visit me in the hospital!”

    “Trust me…I tried to. It’s not as if you can just walk in there. And I certainly couldn’t after you died.”

    Ghetsis flinched. “I died ?” That would, of course, explain the 2 years he had missed.

    “You did. It was definitely a test of how much heartbreak I could take…” Colress sighed through more cake.

    “Are you serious?” He began to shake with rage. “My heart literally broke and you’re talking about how hard you had it?!”

    “You have to consider me, dear. You died within a few minutes of that happening. I suffered without you for 2 years.”

    “UGH!” Pushed to his limit, surprising as it was that he had any fuse at all, he bolted forward as far as he could. After a few seconds, he bumped into some kind of invisible force that prevented him from reaching Colress, eliciting an angry shriek from him. He punched and kicked at the wall, desperate to get out of the Hell he had just woken up in.

    “You’re intangible, Ghetsis.” Colress laughed. “You can’t get out.”

    “What the fuck did you put me in?!” He tried slamming his head into the wall, but it didn’t even hurt.

    “You’re in my computer at the moment. I’ll do some tests on you in a bit, and then I’ll move you to your own device, okay?”

    “OKAY?! In what world is it okay to trap your husband in your computer?!” 

    “A world where you’ve been given a second chance at life.” Colress winked at him. “You should be grateful that you’re the first to experience this.”

    “I don’t remember ever asking to be experimented on.” 

    “Since the worst case scenario was that it wouldn’t work and you’d have no idea that I did it, I took the initiative!” Colress smiled. “It’s for the good of science and mankind, I believe. Imagine the greatest minds uploading themselves-”

    “I DON’T CARE, COLRESS!” Ghetsis burst into sobs. “I! DON’T! CARE!” He repeated himself, slamming his fist against the wall with every word.

    “You must be overstimulated…that’s okay! Here.” Colress clicked on something Ghetsis couldn’t see, and a slice of cake fell onto his head out of nowhere.

    “What the hell is this?” He said, picking it up out of his hair.

    “Cake, obviously. Goof.” Colress giggled. “I wasn’t going to leave you out of your own birthday, after all.”

    “I don’t like cake. I have never once eaten cake during our entire marriage. How did you not remember this?” He complained, crying into the cake.

    “Oh, whoops!” Colress shook it off completely. “Maybe you’d prefer some candy.” He clicked once, and after a moment of nothing happening, proceeded to click many more times. 

    Ghetsis yelped as he was pelted by 50 candy bars. “FUCK!”

    “Oops!” Colress laughed. “I’ll let you keep those.”

    “I’m not hungry.” He shook the candy off of him.

    “That’s thanks to me, too. You will never hunger or thirst again, so you can have as much or as little as you want. This also means you won’t ever need to use the bathroom again.”

    “Why would you do that to me?” Ghetsis groaned.

    “You ask why, without even thanking me?” Colress crossed his arms. “Your IBS will never flare up again!”

    “It wouldn’t if I was dead, either!” His nose turned up hearing his husband talk about his personal stomach issues like that. Ghetsis wasn’t his patient, hell, Colress wasn’t even a medical doctor.

    Before letting Colress utter another word, he grabbed one of the candy bars and turned away from him to eat it. It was peanut butter, at least he could taste what he ate. He felt Colress’ eyes on him the entire time, but not being able to see him felt just the tiniest bit safer.

    “Oh, don’t be shy!” Colress said. “Or do. You’re pretty cute.”

    “Shut up.” 

    “Come on, let me prove it to you.” 

    When Ghetsis looked back towards the light, a mirror had been placed in front of him. 

    He sat there in silence for several minutes before speaking. “...My word…” He could only murmur.

    It was like Colress had taken 25 years off of him. There wasn’t a flaw on his entire body, his face completely smooth and unblemished, though it was just as blue as the rest of him. His face was shaded and highlighted in a strange way, with a design that made it look as if he had honestly been socked in the nose. 

    The kicker, however, were his eyes. Yes, eyes. Sure, his right eye had been restored to full function - without a scar, either - but they had been turned black. Not his irises, they were still red, though they were so much brighter they actually glowed, with his right one glowing intensely. His corneas were pitch black, which made him feel like he was some kind of monster.

    Oh, but that’s not all! He told himself this as if he were trapped in an infomercial. There were some strange floating…beings? Whatever they were, they were somehow invisibly attached to him. Three green ones were around his head, as some horrifying representation of the way he always wore his hair. Behind him were some small blue wings, which didn’t help his opinion that he looked like a monster.

    Colress had that classic grin on his face when Ghetsis finally looked up at him. “Well? What do you think? Splendid, right?”

    “Do you fucking hate me, Colress?” He could only laugh. “What is the point of all of this?”

    “The point was to bring you back from the dead. But your appearance? Purely aesthetic.” Colress winked at him.

    “I never liked your tastes. You’ve made me look like some kind of…monster.” 

    “The outside was bound to match the inside eventually…I don’t know why you’re shocked.” Colress shrugged.

    “...What?” 

    “Are you surprised that you deserve this?”

    “I…” The words struggled to come out. “I don’t…deserve this.”

    “...Look, Ghetsis. I’m not going to lie to you. The news had an absolute field day when you died. I won’t subject you to it, but no one was upset.”

    Ghetsis blinked. “They were happy I died?”

    “Yes, dear. Even your children weren’t that upset when I told them what happened. I was the only one who cried!”

    Ghetsis had gone quiet.

    “My point here is that you did terrible things. So many people and Pokémon were hurt due to your actions. In my eyes, I’ve done the right thing. An eye for an eye, right?”

    “...M-makes the whole world blind.” Ghetsis muttered.

    “And yet, your sight is restored.”

    Ghetsis let the rest of his body fall to the ground, upset at Colress’ words. Yet, he considered them as he stared up into nothingness. “Deserved” this? What he deserved was to die. He still barely understood what situation he’d been put in.

    “You’ve turned me into a…machine.” He spoke into the void.

    “Not exactly. Your soul is intact.” Colress giggled. “It’s the only part of you left, actually. But it’s the most important of all, which is why it was my last step. Do you want me to talk about it more?”

    “Yes, but your voice-”

    Colress interrupted him. “Okay! For the past 22 months, this has been all I’ve worked on. I have to tell you, I couldn’t stand to be without you. So I captured your soul in a cage I got from…a collaborative partner of mine. I spent ages working on perfecting your model, of course. Actually, I used photos of you from when you were a model! You’ve always been beautiful.”

    “Oh, of course you did.” Ghetsis said with a deflated sigh. He hated thinking about his short-lived modeling career, cut so painfully short by his accident.

    “Don’t be surprised. I spent months making you the most accurate to that I could possibly achieve, with my own touches being to differentiate you from your younger self. Then I waited until today to wake you up once you finally took to my computer!”

    “...How long have I been here?”

    “Only a month or so. It was such a splendid idea; waking you up on your birthday…it was your second birth.”

    “I asked to be born neither time.” He sat back up, defeated. As much as he wanted to keep screaming, exhaustion was not something Colress seemed to have removed.

    “You say that like you weren’t born into staggering privilege!” Colress cackled. “Not many get to be born into royal lineage.”

    “Yes, because the money solved all of my problems.”

    “It sure solved mine.” He winked.

    “...What?”

    “I couldn’t let anyone give me a grant for this project! They’d want to know what I was doing, and I don’t need anyone knowing who you are.” Colress spoke as he leaned closer to the screen, patting it with one hand. “I used the inheritance I received from being your widow well, at least.”

    “ What?! ” Ghetsis couldn’t hold back his volume. “You used my money for this?!”

    “Your great-great-times-a-billion-ancestor’s money, you mean.”

    “Ugh.” He lowered his head. “Shut up.”

    “Cooperate with me a little more and maybe I will.” Colress grinned. “Why don’t you stand up for me?”

    “Fuck you.” Ghetsis stayed put.

    “Look, dear, I just want to make sure you can move around like you should. I would hate for you to struggle like you used to.”

    Ghetsis paused, thinking of the pain he now lacked. “You’re awful.” He stood without another word.

    “Oh! That looks great. More than great.” He snickered. “Any troubles? Pain? Discomfort? Other feelings?”

    “Indignation.” 

    “Okay, nothing I care about. Spin around?”

    Grimacing, Ghetsis did so as fast as he could, still feeling eyes on him that entire second he was facing away from Colress.

    “Okay…do it again?”

    “No.”

    “No, no, trust me. You’ll like it. Just keep spinning for a bit.”

    “You disgust me.”

    “ Trust me. I’ll even look away if it makes you feel better. See?” Colress turned from the screen.

    With a huff, Ghetsis attempted to do as Colress instructed. Soon enough, he began to spin with a rhythm to him, as if he were skating on ice. 

    “Oh.” He said quietly. “This is…” Kind of nice, he thought. If there were some music on right now he’d be very satisfied.

    “Isn’t it great?” Colress turned back around, smiling when he saw Ghetsis had listened to him. “I added a lot of little things like that. You always liked moving around in strange ways.” 

    Ghetsis slowed to a stop. “Are you done?”

    “Hm…you can obviously see and hear me. Did you feel, smell, and taste the candy I gave you?”

    “I did.”

    “Did it hurt when they fell on you?”

    “...No.” He had only yelped because of the scare, really.

    “Good! Good. You shouldn’t ever feel pain, so let me know if you do, okay?”

    “Fine. Are you done now?”

    “There’s always an extra part, Ghetsis.” Colress shook his head. “I need to test your environments.”

    “There is no environment. I’m in a void.”

    “I see that.” His smile dropped immediately. “Let me add one, silly.”

    In an instant, he was surrounded by a bedroom. Not one he recognized, but a room that looked like it had come out of a teenage girl’s magazine.

    “I know it’s not…fitting.” Colress nervously chuckled. “I downloaded it. I couldn’t be bothered to make a whole room when you were more important.”

    “It’s not…terrible.” Ghetsis said, looking around. “I like pink.” 

    “Oh, right! I knew that.” He said, definitely not covering his ass.

    Ghetsis rolled his eyes, and he would have crossed his arms too if he had two arms to cross.

    “Why don’t you go test out the bed? I need to see if your collision detection actually works.”

    With a graceless leap, Ghetsis threw himself onto the bed. Though he did not bounce as he expected, he otherwise landed on the mattress as normal.

    “Comfortable?” Colress smiled. “Adorable.”

    “It’s fine.” Ghetsis rolled over. “Do I even need to sleep?”

    “You’ll get tired…eventually.” He winked.

    Ghetsis groaned, finding himself laying on the side where he lacked an arm. It was such an awful sensation, feeling the blanket touch a strange place that was normally hidden by an arm. Tingles shot up his spine as he physically cringed.

    “Oh, does it hurt?” Colress touched the screen where he was.

    “No. I hate it and I hate you.” He curled up into a tight ball. “Why did you ‘fix’ everything but my arm?”

    “Aesthetic reasons. And I assumed it would be easier for you to not have any dead weight than to relearn using your arm if I gave it full function.”

    “ Dead weight? ” Ghetsis spat. “You’re awful to me. Horrible.”

    “I’m not awful for giving you life, Ghetsis.” Colress frowned. “Your ungratefulness at what I’ve done for you is so unkind. I’ve gone through so much trouble to make all of this work.”

    “The trouble was worth nothing. You should have let me die.”

    “I would never just let you go.”

    “You took everything from me.” Ghetsis choked up again. “Do my Pokémon even remember me?”

    “Oh!” Colress jumped. “Well…no they don’t.” His face took on a suspicious aura.

    Ghetsis lifted his head up. “What are you talking about?”

    “Well…”

    His face dropped. “You gave them away, didn’t you…”

    “Oh, no! I didn’t give your Pokémon away.”

    Ghetsis sighed. “Show them to me.”

    “There’s nothing to show, Ghetsis…” Colress sighed as well.

    “Why are you being so damn cagey? Just TELL me what-”

    “I had them euthanized.” Colress interrupted him.

    Ghetsis felt his jaw careen to the floor. Euthanized? They were dead? If it wasn’t the tenth surprise he had that day, he wouldn’t believe it.

    “You KILLED my Pokémon?!” He leaped out of the bed, invigorated by anger.

    “Ghetsis, it was a necessary evil. I didn’t want to do it, but I had no other choice.”

    “What do you mean you had no choice?! Those were MY Pokémon! Not even I ever got any of them killed, and you get rid of them the instant I’m gone?! I can’t fucking believe you! Why would you do this to me?! Why do you hate me so much?!” Ghetsis continued yelling as such through loud sobbing.

    “Ghetsis, calm down…” Colress tapped at the screen. It didn’t change anything on Ghetsis’ end, so it was just some attempt at a supportive gesture.

    “You think words will soothe my FURY?!” Ghetsis did not stop for one moment.

    “I see…I’ll leave you to it until you’re ready to hear what I have to tell you.” With that, Colress exited the lab, leaving Ghetsis by himself.

    He let out another furious scream as Colress disappeared behind the door. Ghetsis ran as far forward as he could, striking the boundary in front of him with his full force. Every conceivable part of his body hit the wall at some point, the only thing on his mind being the rage he felt towards his traitorous husband. If only I could get out of this damn computer and tear him to shreds , he thought. Maybe then his intense desire for revenge would be sated, just a little bit. 

    After noticing he’d thrown his wing at the wall, he gained a moment of clarity. What the hell was he doing? Colress wouldn’t ever let him get out. He was some sort of computer model, anyway. There was no way he was getting out. He’d just drained himself with all of that effort.

    Ghetsis slumped down against the wall with a whimper. For what must have been the hundredth time today, the tears streamed down his face. Sure, he wasn’t dead, but whatever he was was worse than being dead. This was some kind of Hell he could have never fathomed.

    As soon as he started to feel better, sitting there in silence, he heard the door opening again.

    “I see you’re feeling better.” Colress walked in with a grin. 

    Ghetsis only continued to cry, wishing he’d just go away.

    “Let me explain why, okay?”

    “What, why you killed my fucking team?” He whimpered.

    Colress sighed. “Sure. Call it that.” He shook his head. “I did it because it was necessary. Do you know how hard it is to rehome Pokémon that weren’t treated well?”

    “You couldn’t have kept them?” Ghetsis sniffled, knowing better than to fight the accusation of mistreatment. It’s not like he ever denied it, anyway.

    “I have my own team, Ghetsis. One I actually use regularly, and care for.”

    “I used my team.”

    “For battling, though? Rarely. You never participated in a single tournament I invited you to.”

    “I never had the energy for that!” Ghetsis slammed his fist onto the floor. The last thing he ever wanted to do was be stuck in some loud, sweaty building all day. The screaming of a crowd certainly would have overwhelmed him into a crying frenzy. On top of that, it’s not like he ever would’ve been allowed to take 2 hour naps like he needed to. It would have been nothing but misery and pain.

    “Maybe, but I think the real reason is that you were just a terrible trainer. Even with extremely powerful Pokémon on your side, I’d usually win. Of course, it didn’t help that none of them wanted to battle for you.” Colress laughed. “And let’s not forget that all of this started because you can’t even win against children .”

    “Don’t play your fucking mind tricks on me! You lost to that kid many times before I did!”

    “You might have won if you actually practiced, though. I opened myself up to an easy exploit from them by using steel types. You had a varied team, there’s no reason you shouldn’t have won if you battled more often than just when you were upset.”

    “Why don’t you ever shut up? I can’t even walk away from you.” Ghetsis buried his face in his hand.

    “ What trainer keeps the very Pokémon that nearly killed them? No one who trains their Pokémon well would do that. Not that their Pokémon would ever nearly kill them in the first place.” Colress chuckled.

    “It’s obvious! If my Hydreigon could do that much damage to me, it could kill anything! ”

    “Then why did it only try to kill you?”

    Ghetsis was silent.

    “Besides that, it was cruel of you to keep him around. Imagine keeping someone around even with the clearest possible indication that they absolutely despise you. That’s simply inhumane!”

    Dumbfounded, Ghetsis spoke. “I do hope you’re hearing your own words.”

    “Of course I am! The point is that I had no time or reason to keep your Pokémon after you left this world, so I tried to rehome them. As I said before, no one wants to take a Pokémon that’s been trained to essentially be a killing machine. Even the most tender love wouldn’t undo that programming. I did consider releasing them as well, but it would’ve been an even worse idea to unleash such angry beings. They would have ended up killed in a much less nice way, so I took the route of mercy.” 

    “Ugh!” Ghetsis turned away. “It just doesn’t make any sense to me.”

    “You should have seen the look on peoples’ faces when I told them about your Hydreigon.” His face took on a frown. “No one had ever seen a Pokémon lose experience. It’s just not a thing that happens. He should have barely been a Zweilous, but…he wasn’t. And you could tell he wasn’t healthy for it.”

    “So you had to kill him.”

    “ Yes . That’s my entire point. Your Pokémon were suffering, so I had to relieve them. Except your Cofagrigus, of course. Can’t kill a ghost!” Colress awkwardly chuckled.

    Ghetsis instantly perked up. “Is he here?”

    “No, I released him. I tried to keep him around, really, I did! I didn’t think it would be too much trouble to keep one extra Pokémon around.” Colress was silent for a few moments before speaking again. “Let’s just say…strange things happened. I couldn’t keep him here for everyone else’s safety.”

    With a sigh, Ghetsis slumped back down. 

    “You wouldn’t even be able to use them, Ghetsis. You can’t interact with Pokémon, they won’t realize you’re not just a video.”

    “I can’t do anything. You took it all away from me.”

    “Yes. For now, you need to be kept safe. You’re safe with me.”

    “I couldn’t possibly feel more unsafe.” Ghetsis let out a bitter chuckle.

    “The only thing you or I can hurt is your feelings!” Colress patted the screen again, like it helped. “I promise it’ll get better. There are things I need to do, but you’ll have a lot more to do after that. When I move you to the bigger monitor, you’ll have a lot more room to breathe.” He smiled at him.

    “I don’t even care.” Ghetsis got up and walked back to the bed, burying his face in the pillow.

    “You don’t have to, dear.”

    Ghetsis ignored him.

    “Are you sleepy? That’s okay. It’s already been such an eventful day…Oh! Happy birthday, again. I promise this will be the greatest year of your life.”

    Ghetsis groaned into the pillow, wanting to cry yet again. He just wanted to be left alone. Could that be his present?

    “Okay, sleep well. I love you.” Colress stood.

    Ghetsis squeezed the pillow. It didn’t feel right to hear anymore.

    “I love you.” Colress repeated, louder.

    He squeezed harder, his arm shaking. Did he still love Colress? He thought so, but the idea of saying the words made his throat tighten.

    “...Ghetsis?”

    “...F-fine. I…I love you.” He mumbled.

    “I love you too!” Colress grinned, before leaving the room once again.

    After a few minutes, Ghetsis carefully lifted his head up, looking outside of his area. Not trusting his own judgment, he quietly rolled off of the bed and searched as far as he could, just to make sure. 

    He let out a huge breath when he realized Colress truly was gone. He made his way back to the bed, finally crawling underneath the blanket. It was fluffy, and he felt better being wrapped in it.

    Tired as he was, he still spent what must have been at least an hour laying, turned away from the outside, listening to nothing but the whirring of the lab’s machines. He had no heartbeat, he noticed, yet still felt the anxiety he would have. It hurt to know he simply didn’t have a heart anymore.

    Exhaustion eventually consumed Ghetsis, who hoped the whole way that he would wake up back in his own flesh and bone.

Chapter Text

    Unfortunately, Ghetsis had long been locked out of the Dream World. Nothing he wanted for was going to come true. Somehow, some way, this was his life now, though he wasn’t sure whether he counted as alive or dead.

    It had been a few days since his “Second Birth”, and most of his time was spent in bed as he tried to ignore Colress’s attempts at conversation. When he was fully cocooned in a blanket, he didn’t feel so exposed. Since he was essentially in a digital fish tank, the bed was the only place he could feel any sense of safety.

    Ghetsis groaned from the bed as he heard the door opening to the lab, a typical occurrence now. The door was followed by Colress’ eager steps. Any second now…

    “Afternoon, Gigi.” He said with that distant joy.

    There went Ghetsis’ plans to face away from him. He whipped his head up from the pillow, anger flashed in his face. “Excuse me?”

    “What’s the matter? I just said hello?”

    “Ugh!” Ghetsis turned away. “You aren’t stupid! Don’t fucking act like you are!”

    “I’m…sorry?”

    “Never call me that.” He leered at Colress.

    “It’s just a cute nickname, Ghetsis.” 

    “That’s the problem! No one’s called me that since I was FIVE!” His voice trembled, shakier than his identity. “I hate it.”

    It wasn’t entirely true. People were still calling him Gigi up until his accident, and he’d let plenty of boyfriends use the name on him, but thinking of Colress as any kind of partner right now made him nauseous.

    Colress sighed. “I see…” And yet, his frown turned into a little smirk. “You’re pretty cute when you’re mad at me.”

    “Fuck you.” Ghetsis grabbed one of the pillows, ready to throw it.
    “It’s better than you ignoring me!” He laughed.

    Overwhelmed by a flash of rage, Ghetsis threw the pillow as hard as he could. Unfortunately, he quickly felt himself deflate as the pillow landed about two feet from the bed.

    He was no athlete.

    Before he was able to hear whatever snarky comment Colress would make about his impulse to throw things, he was startled by a strange beeping sound from elsewhere in the lab.

    “Oh!” Colress looked towards the door. “He’s here!”

    Ghetsis paused. “ He ?”

    “Oh, yeah.” His eyes went back to Ghetsis. “We have company. There’s someone I’d like you to meet again.”

    “Are you serious?! ” Ghetsis frantically covered himself with the blanket. “How DARE you! Not telling me until NOW?!”

    “I don’t understand what the problem is.”

    “How do you not remember that I always need time to prepare when there is company?” He buried his face in his hand.

    “You don’t have to do anything, you’re already pretty enough. You’ll never have to spend hours putting makeup on again.”

    “Ugh! No, mentally! Do you know how difficult it is for me when someone arrives unexpectedly?!” Ghetsis was already fighting the tears. “I am in no state to speak to anyone. Tell them to leave.”

    It was true that he never accepted same-day appointments when he led Team Plasma - unless it was someone he was fully comfortable with, he needed at the very least a few hours to plan out how he would approach a conversation. Sometimes he’d have to come up with entire trees of possibilities of responses he’d need to come up with, fearing that if he wasn’t prepared for literally anything he would make a fool of himself. Short notice, as Colress tended to prefer, was worse enough, but this was completely Ghetsis’ worst case scenario in terms of human interaction - no notice.

    “I’m not going to tell him to leave, Ghetsis. He helped me a lot with bringing you here, so I owe him the courtesy of being the first person beside myself to see you!” The smirk did not even begin to leave his face. “Like I said, you know him already. It’s not like you’re meeting a stranger. Though…” He chuckled. “I’m sure neither of you will recognize each other.”
    Who could that possibly be? Ghetsis thought, considering the fact that he had become quite reclusive after disowning N. Genuinely, he hadn’t spoken with nearly anyone outside of those working for him. He was too afraid to hear everyone’s true opinions of him after everything had gone wrong.

    Colress stood. “I won’t leave him waiting.” 

    Ghetsis curled up in a ball as he watched him leave, dreading the next time that door would open.

    Though he purposely averted his eyes so as to not see the visitor, he was still alarmed by the flash of orange he did see.

    “Ghetsis.” A voice spoke that did sound familiar to him after all.

    His eyes flew open. “ Lysandre?! ”

    Ghetsis certainly didn’t expect the man to come all the way from Kalos to see him. Sure, they knew each other, but not due to being close as friends. As two men not far apart in age that descended from royalty, they were essentially colleagues in nepotism. At the flagrantly flashy gatherings celebrating centuries, millenia if one wishes to count previous kingdoms in Unova such as the one Ghetsis’ ancestor ruled, of good relations between the two regions, they could at least appreciate their similarities. A taste in art was something Ghetsis could always enjoy, though gatherings like those became more awkward for him when he lost his youth. 

    That said, Colress had spoken the truth when he said that Ghetsis may not even recognize him. If not for his fluorescent hair, impossible height, and of course, his voice, Ghetsis could barely tell who he was.

    He held back a chuckle. “I must admit, it took me a moment to realize it was you. You look like me now!” Ghetsis paused, realizing he no longer inhabited that body. “...Me two years ago.”

    Lysandre let out what must have been the driest chuckle on Earth. “Wonderful. Truly, that was the warm welcome I was expecting.”

    What was he expecting? Anyone could tell he’d been through it. His stance had notably changed, lacking the confidence Ghetsis was used to seeing. Given his own experiences, he hypothesized there was some sort of mobility aid underneath his pants. As much as he abhorred the thought of thinking about what was under anyone’s pants right now, it wasn’t far off with the scars painting what he saw of Lysandre’s skin. Add in the fact that he looked like he’d aged 10 years in 4, and Ghetsis felt like he was completely right in his assumptions. Whatever happened was comparable to his injuries when they were fresher.

    “You…you look like you were hit with a building.”

    “It’s almost like I was hit with a building.” Lysandre’s eye roll touched his soul.

    “Oh.”

    “Ghetsis, you’re being an awful host!” Colress laughed at him. 

    “You can’t make a host out of a prisoner.” Ghetsis crossed his…arm.

    “I’m fine with this, actually.” Lysandre interrupted their spat-in-progress. “Ghetsis is still being Ghetsis, so that means whatever you’ve done, Colress, has worked. I am glad the resources I lent you did not go to waste.”

    Ghetsis froze in place. “Resources?” The blank stare on his face spoke of many dots attempting to connect.

    “Collaboration is at the heart of science, Ghetsis. As much as I prefer full control over my work, you can’t know everything.” Colress shrugged. 

    Ghetsis glared at Lysandre. “You HELPED him do this to me?!”

    “Relax, Ghetsis. It’s not like we worked in the lab together. I only lent him some records and artifacts.”

    “I had everything I needed…” Colress started. “ Except for a way I could safely install your soul in here without losing it. Thankfully, the issue of soul-storage was resolved 3000 years ago, so it only took some modernizations.” He grinned, always eager to talk about his scientific accomplishments.

    “Yes, my ancestor.” Lysandre turned to Colress. “I suppose I should admit that I was skeptical of you at first.”

    “Oh! I think that’s a responsibility we have as scientists.”

    “True. I’ve simply gotten used to being disappointed.”

    “Oh, I never disappoint.” Colress’ eyes flicked over to Ghetsis, winking. “Right?”

    “Shut UP.” Ghetsis felt his face burn, unsure of what color his face was turning.

    Colress laughed at him before turning back to Lysandre. “He’s like a blueberry.”

    “That’s right, I was going to ask you about that. Was the aesthetic choice for easier marketing?”

   Marketing? Ghetsis thought, feeling Lysandre’s eyes on him. It certainly wasn’t the type of look Colress liked to give him, but it was analytical in a way he couldn’t easily determine. Like how someone stares at the various parts of a piece of art, taking it all in slowly. Staring like he was an object.

    Despite no longer having bowels, he felt his stomach churn at the thought.

    “Marketing could be the word.” Colress considered it. “My thought process at the time, though, was to differentiate him from the Ghetsis people saw when he was alive.”

    “And that is why he looks so young.” Lysandre nodded. “You accomplished that task wonderfully. My goal was to preserve youth and beauty, but the fact that you managed to restore those things…that is what truly impresses me. It has been a while since my expectations were exceeded.”

    “Oh!” Colress couldn’t hide the grin, relishing in the treatment his ego was receiving. “Ghetsis never lost his beauty, though. He’s always been perfect to me in that way.”

    “Not everyone married a former model, Colress.” Lysandre chuckled.

    Ghetsis felt far too awkward and unwelcome to participate in a conversation where he was being talked about as if he was not in the room, but he also felt strange when he saw the strange look Colress gave Lysandre after saying that. What the hell was going on here?

    “Really?” Lysandre rolled his eyes at Colress. “I only date scientists.”

    “Oh, right…” Colress laughed, sounding relieved.

    “WILL YOU TWO JUST FUCKING KISS ALREADY?!” Ghetsis couldn’t stop himself from letting the words blurt out.

    “What?!” Colress immediately responded, as he and Lysandre looked at Ghetsis with abject confusion.

    “I can’t stand this circlejerk that you’ve made me a victim to!” Ghetsis stared at the floor. “You nauseate me.”

    “Ghetsis…” Colress’ face quickly took on a look of concern. “I would never betray you like that.” He placed both hands on the screen. “I married you . You are the only one I need to have.”

    Ghetsis slightly cowered away from the edge of the screen, wishing Colress would get out of his face. 

    “I wasn’t expecting you to say that.” Lysandre spoke, Ghetsis assuming he was talking to him given that he couldn’t see past Colress’ stupid head. “I invited you to my wedding. Why didn’t you come?”

    Ghetsis glared up at Colress until he finally moved. “I…” Ghetsis paused. “I…assumed you only did that as a formality.”

    It was true that Ghetsis was uneasy about whether or not anyone still liked him at that time. What he did not mention was that Colress was all too eager to validate his anxieties about that, resulting in Ghetsis being far too afraid to go. Colress’ behavior unnerved him in retrospect.

    “Don’t think about it too much. Soon, you’ll be able to go anywhere.” Colress told him, as if that sounded reassuring at all.

    “I only long for the dirt.” Ghetsis sat down with a huff.

    “Why would you ever want to be in the ground?” Lysandre sounded offended by Ghetsis’ flippancy. “You’re likely the first to have their death reversed . The great minds we have now could be at their peak forever using the technology your husband created most of. Aren’t you proud of him?”

    “I am NOT proud to be ANYONE’s guinea pig!” Ghetsis shouted. “I RESENT this, and I RESENT both of you!” He ran to the bed at once, hiding underneath it like he was a small child in trouble.

    “Aww.” Colress turned to Lysandre. “He’s just overwhelmed.”

    “I understand. Not all who are the future are ready for it.”

    “Exactly!” Colress shook his head after a moment. “I don’t think he’s coming back out for a while. I appreciate your visit.”

    “Of course.” Lysandre nodded. “I appreciate the work you’ve done. Do you plan to make him an online presence?”

    “Yes, definitely! Oh, you have a lot of experience with that. Do you think he has potential?”

    “Limitless potential.” Lysandre spoke. “No one has ever seen such realistic intelligence before. That is all you will have to say.”

---

    Ghetsis was quickly awoken by the sound of tapping on the screen.

    “Ghetsis!” Colress snipped at him. 

    He groaned as he attempted to stretch out his body, before realizing he was still underneath the bed. Somehow, the exhaustion from that awful meeting with Lysandre caused him to fall asleep on the floor.

    He stuck just his head out. “What.”

    “Oh, there you are!” Colress smiled. “I thought that’s where you were.”

    “Is he gone?”

    “Yes, he left an hour ago. There wasn’t much left to say after your temper tantrum.” He poked at the screen. “I hope you’re not planning on making that a habit.”

    “I hated the way you talked about me!” Ghetsis felt himself fighting tears once again. 

    “I only ever said nice things about you!” 

    “If I was a PLANT, maybe.” Ghetsis pushed himself out from underneath the bed.

    “You’re no plant, you’re a fairy.”

    “I’m a human .” He stood.

    “Not anymore, dear.” Colress shook his head. “All you have left is your soul, remember?”

    “What difference would that make?” 

    “I don’t know!” Colress laughed. “Why don’t you ask N?”

    Ghetsis froze. 

    Colress was right. N lacked a human heart , and now that Ghetsis no longer had possession of his own mortal body…

    “Go back to sleep, Ghetsis.” Colress stood up, readying himself to leave the lab. “I’ll let you think on that on your own.”

    Ghetsis watched him leave the lab in complete silence.

    He finally understood what it was like.

Chapter Text

Ghetsis knew what day it was.

The calendar across from the screen stared at him every moment, every day as time passed him by. He was sure Colress planted it in his line of sight just to tease him with reminders of freedom. 

That day was not a good day in his memory, though. He sunk into the bed, ready to spend his entire day dwelling on parts of his human life that, despite the agony he felt in his chest, he would have preferred to go back to at this point.

Quiet was his peace.

“Ghetsis!” 

With a scream, he fell out of bed with a thump. 

“How did you get in here?!” Ghetsis yelped at Colress, his intruder.

“How else?” He pointed at the door with a chuckle.

“You dare sneak up on me?!” Ghetsis’ hand turned into a fist. “I hate you so much! You are a cruel, unjust man!”

“It’s okay, dear. Get mad at me if you want.” Colress shrugged. “I wanted to see what you got up to when I’m not loudly making myself known.”

“UGH! That could have been so humiliating!”

“Why? I’m your husband!” Colress laughed. “What could you be worried about me seeing? Oh, now I really want to know. Do you get lonely without me?”

“NO!” Ghetsis turned away in disgust. “I’ll take any break I can get!”

“Oh? Sorry to say, but you’re not getting any breaks from me today.” 

And with that, Colress parked himself in the chair facing the screen. Several moments of silence passed between the two, awkward air circling around them like water in a toilet bowl. 

“So…would you like something to wear?”

Ghetsis huffed. “Obviously. I was starting to think I’d never have modesty again.”

“Modesty?” Colress laughed. “Did you replace the man I lived with?”

He groaned and leaned back. “No one ever saw my body in public.”

“But at home…”

“I never walked around with my ass out!” Ghetsis quickly grew embarrassed at this talk. He had separate wardrobes for in and out of the home for very good reason, and Colress would never understand why he had to hide even the shape of his body. He remembered feeling comfortable dressing in tighter things around Colress, but wasn’t sure anymore if he had truly accepted his imperfections.

“I’m surprised you aren’t used to it after two weeks.” Colress shrugged. “Anyway, I have something for you.”

He did some clicking, and suddenly Ghetsis had a sweater on.

Ghetsis’ eyes widened. It seemed to be a perfect replica of his favorite sweater, from its oversize, the delicate pink color, and even the warmth he felt after a long nap in it. 

“It…” He touched it. “I…like it.” He was a bit pleasantly surprised to see Colress do something nice for him after all of this. Was it really nice to be bribed with replications of his old mortal possessions, though? It made him wonder what happened to the real thing, hoping it didn’t go the same route as his Pokemon had.

“Oh.” Colress’ mouth turned up oddly, his eyes doing most of the talking. “ I like it too.”

Ghetsis lowered his eyes to the floor, his brief spark of happiness burning out. Why didn’t it make him happy anymore when Colress complimented him? Despite not knowing food for two years, nausea brewed in his stomach.

“Okay!” Colress clapped his hands together. “Stand up.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” 

“What else is there for you to do? Did you think that I was going to let you live off of my resources for free?”

Ghetsis smacked himself in the face in frustration. “Oh, yeah. Right. Of course. Certainly! I never considered your point! It’s almost like I NEVER ASKED for you to do this to me!” 

“Well, I’m not gonna throw all of that time and money out just because you didn’t ask for it. You should be honored to be such a big part of this discovery.”

“I’m not, and I never will!”

“Why not?” Colress rested his head on his hand. “It’s the biggest contribution you’ve ever made to science.”

Ghetsis silently stood.

“That’s better.” Colress smirked as he clicked some more, and Ghetsis felt the environment around him change. Suddenly, he stood in the middle of a city street, feeling his heart fill with dread.

It was an empty city. The lights were on in every building, but he could tell there was nothing in them. The street was completely bare of people spare him, and seeing such a wide street without a single car unnerved him.

What made it worse was that he couldn’t see any boundaries. Usually you can see the end of a map, right? He couldn’t from any direction, which could only mean that the emptiness that surrounded him went on for miles. 

Ghetsis gazed up at Colress. “You couldn’t make it less empty if you tried.”

“Yes! Isn’t it great?”

“Great?!”

“Of course! Being able to simulate environments means that there’s no need to secure a location! No money to be paid to keep people out of it! No harassment from passersby! The potential is probably limitless .”

Ghetsis paused. “What the hell are you talking about, Colress?”

“Oh! I never told you, did I?” Colress cleared his throat dramatically. “I want you to dust off those modeling skills!”

“...What?”

“You’re my virtual model. We’re having a digital photoshoot. I’ll add ‘people’ in post and then post them under your new identity.”

“What identity ? Nothing has changed but my body!”

“Exactly. No one will recognize you with a new identity. You can be a model again!”

Ghetsis fell quiet again.

“I understand that it’s been more than twenty years. You can definitely still do it. Without your life’s reputation, you can get back to it and get even higher than you did back then.”

“...But…” Ghetsis vaguely mumbled.

“Hm? Why don’t you look happy? You were always so devastated when you brought your career up. I know you missed it…”

“Will you let me fucking process something for once?!” Ghetsis snapped at him.

“Oh…uh. Okay.” 

After a few moments, Ghetsis spoke again. “What is the ‘identity’ you speak of?”

“Oh! Your appearance is a huge part, of course. You’re a digital cyber-fairy, which…you were not when you were alive! You need a new name to accompany that aesthetic, of course. As much as some know I’m married to you, I don’t need the questions I’d get if I kept your name.”

Ghetsis blinked. “You make me cringe.”

“I promise it won’t be cringy. You’re going to project soft and ethereal, but I can’t give you a regular name. And with that…”

Colress lifted his finger in emphasis. “You will now be known as G1-G1! Pronounced ‘Gigi’.”

“AGH!” Ghetsis threw himself on the simulated road. “After telling you how much I hate when you call me that!”

“It works better if it’s a nickname you don’t go by.”

“I wish you would shut up.”

“Okay, fine!” Colress rolled his eyes. “Go be cute.”

“Shut UP!”

“Okaayyy! You know exactly what to do, then? Go do it if you don’t need me so much.”

Ghetsis stomped away onto the grass. It was a small park, but with no inhabitants it felt like something very bad had happened there. He walked behind a tree and sat by it, trying to hide himself from Colress’ view.

He heard a laugh from behind him, and suddenly he was looking at Colress again.

Ghetsis jumped. “What did you just do?!”

“Just a quick change to the camera’s angle.” 

He groaned and put his face in his hand. 

“Ah, ah. Show me that face!”

“WHY.”

“What’s the point of showing you off if no one can see your face?”

“I don’t want to be seen. Ever.”

Colress shook his head. “The more you cooperate, the sooner we’ll finish, Ghetsis.”

“UGH!” He slammed his hand down, rage obvious on his face.

“Oh, can you be friendlier?” Colress giggled. 

Ghetsis curled up in a ball, warring with himself internally over what he should do. He knew Colress wouldn’t stop his demands, and in the back of his mind he knew that cheery demeanor wouldn’t last forever. 

It wasn’t like there was anywhere else he could go to escape this. Colress had him right where he always wanted him.

He lifted his head up and stared defeatedly at Colress. Just a moment later, he heard a sharp click sound, causing him to jump again.

Colress immediately began laughing. “Oh! Should I have warned you?” He opened an image on the monitor Ghetsis was displayed on. “Off to a great start, I see.”

He’d taken a picture of Ghetsis, but since the click had startled him so badly, what was instead captured was his extreme reaction to the noise. His eyes and mouth were so wide, he felt like an idiot.

“That’s so adorable. I’m saving that for later!” Colress continued to laugh.

Ghetsis turned his head away. “I hate you.”

He heard another click , this time not startling. 

“Oh! That’s way better. See, it’s so much easier when you listen to me.” Colress showed him that image as well.

It looked alright, Ghetsis thought, but it looked so damn fake. No personal connection to be found, he barely could recognize himself. The posing was more sophisticated than a lot of 3D model posing, but it was nothing that couldn’t be done using a model that wasn’t alive. 

What was worse was how obviously younger he looked. It had been so long since he looked like that, whoever it was staring back at him wasn’t him anymore.

He was real, but he wasn’t real anymore.

“Okay, how about you climb the tree?” Colress interrupted his track of thought.

“What?” He looked behind him at the tree. He’d never done such a thing in his life.

“I know you can. Go on.”

Reluctantly, Ghetsis stood. His hand clasped over one of the branches.

“Where do you see the possibility for me to do this?” Ghetsis shook his head.

“Trust me. Go for it.”

To his surprise, he found his own body to be completely weightless, and he was easily able to plant himself on the branch. 

“Good! Go on.”

With a sigh, Ghetsis leaned against the tree, turning his waist opposite it.

“Perfect.” Another click.

Before Colress could say another word, Ghetsis forcefully launched himself off of the tree. As usual, he felt nothing, but he hoped sprawling out on the grass would be a better experience than being coached by Colress.

“Interesting idea.” Colress seemed to miss the point of his body-throwing. “Lift your head up.”

Ghetsis turned his head, wondering when this would be over. He held his head up with his arm.

Another click.

Whether it was minutes or hours that passed by, Ghetsis couldn’t tell as he was carted around this blank city to pose. A bench, the road, a door, the sidewalk, all of that and more were touched for the first time by him. 

Click! He was sat in an intersection.

“Yes!” Colress said. “We’re done.”

“Finally.” Ghetsis stood.

“Now I have a ton of editing to do.” Colress seemed to be moving some files around.

“So you’ll be leaving?” Hope flickered in Ghetsis’ eyes.

Colress laughed. “Not a chance! There’s something else I want to show you.”

He groaned. “I should have known better.”

“I’ll be right back.” 

Ghetsis watched him exit the lab. “I hope you can’t ever find it.” He mumbled to himself.

Dread filled his heart - no, his chest, as Colress entered the room a few minutes later holding some very strange goggles and wires. The smug look on Colress’ face intensified his fear of what that equipment was meant for.

Colress quickly dipped out of his view, plugging some things in below the desk. A strange light glowed from the bottom.

“Okay.” Colress sat at the chair once again. “One moment.” He changed the world Ghetsis was in once again, now on a scenic balcony with a single table and two chairs.

He’d be a little impressed if any of it was real.

The balcony was situated very high in the sky; Ghetsis could barely see what lay below. A brief thought flickered in his mind as he gazed downward.

What would happen if he threw himself from it?

Before he could consider the temptation, he noticed Colress in his peripheral vision. There were clearly more than just goggles, as he watched him put on some frankly hideous gloves and other crimes against fashion that were below his view.

“What is that? What are you doing?” Ghetsis put his hand on his hip. “You look foolish.”

“Ghetsis.” Colress laughed at him. “It’s not clothes, it’s VR.”

He rolled his eyes. Of course it was something ridiculous like that. Not that he’d never tried it himself, but when he had many years ago, the headsets were so big that they gave him an instant migraine. As sleeker as they had become, they still violated his sense of aesthetic. 

“What are you planning on using those bizarre accessories for?” Ghetsis spoke.

“Just watch, dear.” Colress put on the goggles. “Not every question needs to be asked.”

Suddenly, the screen went dark. Ghetsis was startled once again, quickly feeling very uneasy not being able to see where Colress was. He frantically looked around himself, paranoid that something was going to appear and attack him.

He felt a hand on the small of his back. Another scream was had by Ghetsis, as he lost balance and fell to the ground.

There stood Colress in front of him, somehow. “Oh! It’s just me, silly.” Without asking, he pulled Ghetsis back up.

“How did you do that?! Why are you here?!” Ghetsis took a step back from him.

“That’s simple. I recreated myself in the same way I did you, then used virtual reality to be able to control the model. Then just turn off the camera and it’s like I’m really here in front of you!” He grinned, showing Ghetsis how faithful that recreation really was.

“Words fail me on how much I hate that.” Ghetsis sighed.

Cautiously, he approached Colress. It was extremely disorienting seeing him in his own world knowing he wasn’t actually there, his hand shaking as he reached out to touch him.

His hand landed on Colress’ cheek, and for a moment it felt like everything was alright again. 

Colress turned away from his hand. “Okay, sit down!”

He sighed and chose a chair. Colress sat opposite him, clasping Ghetsis’ hand in both of his.

After a moment of being stared at, Ghetsis spoke. “What is this that we’re doing?”

“Going on a date.” Colress said. “Hasn’t it been so long since we’ve had one?”

Colress would have had a point were he not trapped in a computer by him. Before his death, Ghetsis couldn’t even remember the last time the two of them went off somewhere just to enjoy each other. Their tastes in dates seemed to differ anyway, with Ghetsis preferring places where he could stay seated, and Colress wanting to go to things that exhausted him to the point of pain.

There they were then, seated on an empty balcony on an empty skyscraper in an empty city. Colress in front of a man that was no longer considered to exist, and Ghetsis in front of a cardboard cutout of his husband.

What enjoyment was there to be had from this exercise?

“Ghetsis, you didn’t answer my question.” He heard Colress speak.

“What?” Ghetsis was too far into his own thoughts, having heard not one word of whatever Colress had been talking about.

“How far do you think your reach will be?” 

Ghetsis then assumed he’d been fantasizing about how successful his social media endeavor would be, like some kind of excitable marketing executive.

He felt a smirk despite himself. “Perhaps just the perverted scientist responsible for all of this.”

Colress let some offense show on his face. “No!” 

“Don’t act as if it isn’t true.”

“You’re selling both of us very short, Ghetsis.” He released Ghetsis’ hand, using one of his to point. “I may be perverted, but I’m fucking smart. I know what I’m doing when it comes to you.”

“I don’t doubt your intelligence by any means. Only the smartest of deviants could pull off something like this.” Ghetsis gestured vaguely at his own body. 

Colress’ mouth curved down to a scowl. “Do you think you’re having a ‘gotcha’ moment right now?”

“Right. How dare I point out the sexualization of me that you’re planning to sell to the masses.”

“You sexualize YOURSELF!” Colress slammed his hand onto the table, drawing a flinch from Ghetsis.

Ghetsis was quiet. He knew better than to make this situation any worse, as was the case for many dates before.

“What’s this outfit you have on?” Colress pointed at his chest.

“The only one you’ve given me.”

“Yes, because you wore it so often. That’s not even meant to be worn as a dress, but I never saw you wearing pants under it!”

Ghetsis didn’t know why any of this mattered.

“The way I’m representing you is no different than how you were when you were a model. I can’t believe you’re so ungrateful for what I’ve done for you.”

“Colress, I was 19-”

“And now you have no age.” Colress interrupted him. “I brought you back into this world.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“I can take you back out of it whenever I want to.” Colress spat.

The words shot through Ghetsis like lightning, and he was speechless.

“Don’t look so shocked, dear.” The smile returned to Colress’ face. “Think of how many teenagers you almost killed.”

Ghetsis’ head fell towards the table, anguished over how little control of himself he had left.

“Let’s resume our date.” Colress took his hand once more.

Reluctantly, his eyes looked up towards Colress, and he lightly kissed Ghetsis’ hand. The tenderness of the gesture did not carry up to Colress’ eyes.

“Isn’t it gorgeous out there?” Colress looked towards the evening sky, and Ghetsis wondered if he’d really been with him all day.

“It isn’t real.” Ghetsis stated.

“Sure it is!” Colress squeezed his hand. “Someone took the time to build all of this, just like how Arceus did with our world.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Think about it, Ghetsis. Since Arceus created us, and they’re the god of us all, anything we create, in a way, we’re the god of!”

Ghetsis felt himself shudder at the implication lying there. “I…see.”

“Exactly. So this space is no less real than the universe we live in.”

Ghetsis leaned back on the chair. He didn’t care for Colress’ philosophies on creation, truly, he just wanted to be alone.

Colress gazed at him. “You’re very pretty tonight. You don’t even have to spend hours getting ready for dates anymore. Not that you weren’t perfect before all of that.”

He sighed. “Thanks. You designed it.” He looked down at the table. “How much of a date is it? There’s no food.”

“...Oh!” Colress shook his head. “I forgot. I’d have to exit this to do that.”

“We’re just talking, then.”

“The whole point is to spend time together, yes? It’s not like you need food, anyway.”

“My word.” Ghetsis took his hand back to place it over his face.

“So, I’ll let you know how everything goes after I get the account started and posted on. There’s lots of people already waiting on this, you know. Of course you knew that, since Lysandre came by the other week. They’ve all been curious in the tech space as to what I’ve been working on these past two years. Can you believe how good of a job I’ve done keeping it a complete secret? It’s going to be such a cool reveal. I know everyone’s going to love it, and…”

Ghetsis tuned out after that, knowing that he left no room for response. At least there was no way he could get it wrong when there was nothing he could say. 

Some time later, Colress stood. “It’s about time I start on that editing.” 

Ghetsis stood as well, immediately feeling himself be pulled towards Colress in a hug. 

Being able to feel the hug was better than any other part of that “date” thus far. Even in this situation, he couldn’t help but enjoy the small bits of affection Colress would afford him. He leaned his head into Colress’ shoulder.

“I love you, dear.” Colress squeezed him. “It’s nice getting to hold you again.”

“It’s…pleasant.” Ghetsis spoke before feeling Colress’ glare. “I love you too.” He mumbled.

Colress giggled and pulled him in for a kiss. He could only reminisce about being back in their bedroom when everything was better.

Ghetsis wasn’t sure how long it was until he was finally alone again in his bedroom. He hated that the place was starting to feel familiar to him, but after everywhere he’d “been” that day, it felt like the closest thing he had to home.

He quickly buried himself under the covers, and before he knew it the tears were flowing. Ghetsis hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding inside until he was finally safe enough to let it out, and he couldn’t possibly stop it. After a day so filled with stress and fear it was no wonder why he was sobbing into a pillow. 

He hadn’t even had a moment to remember how awful a day it was in his past, being so overwhelmed that he felt even worse. 

There was no hope for him. Colress was going to sell him out and there was nothing he could do about it.

There was nothing he could ever do.

Ghetsis cried himself to sleep.

Chapter Text

Ghetsis seldom had a moment to himself over the past few days, being transported to various different maps with a diverse range of ridiculous outfits in Colress’ pursuit of content. Each day only ended in more exhaustion and tears as he wondered why Colress saw him as just a fashion doll. The only thing he was grateful for was that he hadn’t attempted another horrible “date” night.

Before Colress’ usual entrance to the lab, he heard some strange noises coming from outside of its door. Lots of grunting and rolling; sounded like someone wasn’t very strong.

Colress proceeded to wheel in a giant monitor, around four feet wide and eight feet tall, which Ghetsis realized was enough to contain his mortal dimensions were he standing. He sat up from his bed, watching the endeavor before him.

“Good morning, Ghetsis.” Colress wiped the sweat from his brow. “Remember when I told you I’d be upgrading your screen?”

“I do.” It wasn’t like he had much else to remember short-term.

“Well, I didn’t forget. Oh, shipping delays.” Colress sighed. “It only just arrived last night.”

“It shocks me that you didn’t make everything yourself.” Ghetsis said as he watched Colress once again wrestle with cords.

“There’s only 24 hours in a day!” Colress smiled. “It’s better to outsource something like this so I can devote all of my time to the one who matters.”

Ghetsis rolled his eyes. “Platitudes.”

Colress shrugged. “Of course I want to spend time with my husband. ‘Til death do us part!”

Ghetsis locked his eyes directly on him in the sharpest glare he could manage.

It took him a moment. “Oh…right! I’ve superseded death.” His gaze met Ghetsis’. “We’ll never be apart again.”

Ghetsis could only slump back into bed. 

“Now…” Colress sat at the desk, finished with wrangling his setup. “You might feel a change, so be ready.”

“With what?”

“I’m displaying you on the other monitor!” He typed and clicked.

Ghetsis jerked his head back as his view of the outside suddenly shifted a few feet. He immediately heard himself sigh.

“Something wrong with it?”

“I can’t…see the calendar anymore.” Ghetsis looked down, somewhat embarrassed at pointing out such a small thing. “That was the only way I knew what day it was.”

“Oh!” Colress chuckled. “I’ll put something in your room.” 

After a few minutes, what looked like a wall sticker appeared above the bed. It was not in any way sophisticated, simply being a projection of the date and time on Colress’ computer. It made Ghetsis question how complex his simulation was if he could slap something on like that so easily. 

“You’re forgetting something, dear.” Colress grabbed his attention back.

“What?” Ghetsis said. “Today’s not a special day, is it?”

“No! You forgot a ‘thank you’.”

Ghetsis rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

“Anyway, I have to head out in a little bit.” Colress smiled. “Will you miss me?”

“Absolutely not.” A sneer crossed his face. “What for?”

Colress stood. “Lots of meetings! Potential sponsorships. Great stuff.”

“Sponsorships?!” Ghetsis was incredulous. “It’s been six days!”

“Tell that to our 50,000 followers.” He turned to walk away.

Ghetsis scoffed. “You do not walk away from me!”

Colress paused. “Why?”

“Look. I don’t know what kind of bullshit astroturfing you’ve done with my image, but it was a mistake.” Ghetsis clenched his fist. 

Colress crossed his arms. “And what makes you think the audience I cultivated isn’t legitimate?”

“What’s supposed to make me think it is?! I can’t even have a little integrity after death?!”
“Ghetsis, I don’t have time to argue this point with you.”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE DAMN SPONSORSHIPS! I DON’T WANT TO BE SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER!” It just came out like a broken dam.

Colress stepped back up to the screen. “You’d best calm down, dear. I can’t let you make me late. You don’t want to sit in darkness until I get back, do you?”
Ghetsis was silent.

“Right, good. I’ll give you some places to explore, since I’ll be gone for a while.” Some clicking, and a menu appeared before Ghetsis. He then turned back around and headed for the door.

Ghetsis watched him, desperate to scream for him to stop.

Colress turned around at the door. “To answer your initial question, Ghetsis…” He smirked. “Three letters. M, T, and A.”

“What?” Ghetsis tilted his head.

“The first one is marketing. I’ll let you guess the other two.”

With a wink in his direction, Colress finally exited the lab.

The sigh flew out of him before he could help it. Why was Colress always thinking about sex? He’d already had a hard time feeling like a real person around Colress, and it was only worse without the ability to escape. It was so suffocating.

He hopped off of the bed. It wasn’t clear when Colress was coming back, so he had to get over himself in case he only had an hour or two to himself. It was irritating enough as it was not knowing exactly when Colress was due to return; Ghetsis would surely spend the entire day worrying about where he was. 

Knowing Colress would return at any given time made Ghetsis feel incredibly watched. He would not have been surprised if he was in fact being monitored remotely in some way. Though in the back of his mind he was aware that there was very little he could actually do, let alone anything he could get in trouble with Colress for. When Colress was gone, he was alone .

He had a look at the menu. What first caught his eye was a landscape of beach and cliffs, bringing to mind for him the eastern end of Sinnoh. Ghetsis shook his head slightly as he selected it. It had been far too long since he’d traveled outside of Unova, and he also quite missed having friends. 

He imagined he’d never experience either of the two for real again.

The sand felt very unreal under his feet, dodging them like two of the same magnetic charge. It was like miniature rubber balls underneath him, and did not evoke any of the joy of being near the ocean. 

Ghetsis chuckled to himself. “I should have expected it would be terrible.” He was fairly certain Colress had just downloaded the maps off of any free website he could. He wouldn’t have been surprised if one of them was just a pile of textureless polygons to trip over.

Looking ahead, he saw that he was at the foot of a large cliff. In life, he would have needed to be carried or wheeled up something like that; it required far more energy than he had. Curiosity struck him as he found himself actually wanting to explore.

As he began to walk, Ghetsis thought about all that he was missing out on, the people that he had not spoken to in many years. 

N had been the last of his family he’d talked with, and remembering that day made him want to push it all back into his head. 

His emotions weren’t normal. Guilt wracked his chest, but at the same time it filled him with incomprehensible rage. N had ruined everything. Had he not appeared in the chasm, perhaps he wouldn’t have died.

And yet, Ghetsis had asked for it.

He specifically manipulated the situation just so that he could easily fuse his Kyurem. N did what he asked, right?

It occurred to Ghetsis that perhaps the blame lay more with the Trainer who had defeated him than with N.

His chest continued to ache. None of it seemed right to him. N used to bring him rage upon just a thought. A notion that he existed was enough to irritate Ghetsis. Enough to make him wish that he had never taken in any children.

Ghetsis knew he didn’t quite feel that way anymore. He had no access to his children anymore, and for all they knew, he had been dead for two years. His foot jabbed into the sand as frustration took him. 

Why did he miss them? Why was he worried about them?

Anxiety pulled at his chest as he continued to walk. When had he last spoken to his daughters? 4 years? Had it really been almost half a decade?

“They’re fine. I don’t care. They’re fine.” He mumbled to himself. 

He felt his eyes burn as he tried desperately not to cry. There was no reason to cry, he didn’t deserve to cry and he knew that. He just wanted to punch something, kick something, scream as loud as he could…

Or vault himself off of the cliff.

He shook his head. That wasn’t a good idea. He didn’t know how far he could push this body he was forced into. Colress hadn’t explained the specifics of his body, and the last thing he thought was a good idea was asking if he could die.

But yes, he wanted to die, again. Legally, he was dead, publicly, he was dead…wherever his body was, that sure as hell was dead. His soul was the only thing he had left. Whatever stasis he was in, he didn’t consider it life.

Colress would never understand that. He was so blindsided by all of the “innovations” and “improvements” he’d made that Ghetsis’ feelings truly didn’t factor in. Ghetsis imagined that Colress saw himself as some kind of benevolent god-like figure for “fixing” him.

He felt himself dryly chuckle. Fixed? Absolutely not. He never asked to be changed like that, and thinking about it made his stomach turn.

If Colress hadn’t hesitated to erase his disabilities, then was he ever considerate of them? Had he ever considered Ghetsis the same level of person as himself if he thought of them as something that needed to be fixed?

Ghetsis shook his head. Colress had trapped him in a computer, autonomy was not something that he had cared for. 

Being able to walk for long periods of time like this meant nothing to him when none of his universe was real. Truthfully, he was in the same spot of Colress’ lab day in and day out. 

He hadn’t moved in weeks.

Ghetsis swallowed as he stood at the top of the cliff, his eyes falling back down the way he had come. How long had he been walking? It wasn’t as tall as the skyscraper, but he wobbled slightly at the distance to the ground. He must have gotten so absorbed into his own head that time ceased to exist.

He looked around his surroundings. The screen was still off, and he couldn’t seem to hear anything besides the lab’s ambient whirring. 

His legs wanted to sit, but his mind made them stay put. The void screamed up the cliff to him as his ears rang loudly. None of it was real but the deprivation he’d been experiencing the past few weeks made him feel like he could have been convinced to believe anything. He began to shake as his breath grew quick, feeling like he was going to lose a heart he didn’t have anymore. Tears pooled up in his eyes, knowing what was likely to come whenever Colress arrived home. He had a chance.

It could have been his only chance to escape eternity.

Without another thought, he turned on one foot and let gravity take him. 

The ringing in his ears was quickly replaced with the sound of himself ripping through the air. He watched the wind take control of his limbs, staring blankly ahead so as to not have to see the ground come up below him.

Despite his situation, he still prepared for a graceful fall, knowing that if it truly would kill him, he could at least look beautiful in his final death. His first one had gone so terribly, he was sure he looked like a frazzled bird when he couldn’t bear to live anymore.

At least he would have control of his own beauty.

Ghetsis knew it was stupid, but there was no point in rational feelings when the end was rapidly approaching behind him. Truly, it was the best time to let himself feel what he didn’t want to. No one would ever know the thoughts that were in his soul moments before it shattered. Not even Colress had access to such personal material.

He felt the tears run wild across his face. His eyes squeezed shut as he pictured N, Anthea, and Concordia. Their faces barely appeared in his head anymore, it had been that long. They likely didn’t even look like that anymore. 

He’d never see or think about them again. They’d finally be as free as they imagined they’d been for the past two years. He wouldn’t have to make any of his actions up to them, and the fear in his chest when he thought about the past twenty years finally started to fade. He was finally sparing them.

Ghetsis’ hair then obscured his vision, but it no longer mattered to him. There was nothing worth seeing at that point.

The rest of his family drifted into his thoughts. It’d been even longer since he’d seen any of them. Were his cousins any better off? Were his mother and father still alive? Surely they were incredibly disappointed in him for all of his failures in power.

Then there was her.

Even moments before death, he could barely manage to let himself think about her. Memories bubbled up that he promptly swallowed back inside. He would never be ready to explore any of it.

Ghetsis didn’t need any of those thoughts anyway. He let his eyes flutter closed as he gently smiled.

Would she hate him, knowing everything he had done without her?

Probably.

But it didn’t matter. He was ready to see her again.

He was going to see her again.

With a loud crash, it all went quiet. The air in his ears came to a sharp halt. Notably, he felt no pain upon hitting the ground. Perhaps it was such a distance that he was gone instantly.

His eyes slowly opened after a few moments.

“...Ah.” Ghetsis could only let out a noise.

Nothing had changed. He laid below the cliff, staring up at the fake sky.

Ghetsis wasn’t dead.

He couldn’t die.

After a few more moments of laying in silence, he let out an involuntary scream. He turned his body around, facing the ground, and, consumed by rage and anguish, drove his fist repeatedly into it. Ghetsis clawed and scraped at the sand, hoping that if he dug far and long enough, the Distortion World itself would open up and swallow him into the earth. 

The only thing that eventually stopped his assault on the sand was the realization that his situation was even worse than ending up in the Distortion World. His knowledge on it was limited, but he was sure even Giratina would have more respect for him than Colress did. Giratina was a Pokemon; it wasn’t capable of dripping in ulterior motives like Colress constantly was. 

Ghetsis sat up, bringing his knees to his chest. In a way, he had become much like Giratina; a violent, ugly, terrifying creature that was exiled from its dimension for its crimes. 

Colress wasn’t unlike Arceus either; toying with their creations simply because they had the power to.

He eased himself back down onto the sand and simply cried. It was all he could do with the energy he had left.

Ghetsis didn’t know when Colress returned, but it didn’t matter anymore. He hadn’t moved from his spot on the sand for hours.

“Hello, G1-G1.” Colress sat at his desk, rolling the chair to face him.

“Don’t call me that.”
    “Oh, why not?”

“I hate it. It’s not my name. You can’t even refer to me as my own name anymore? Am I still even a fucking person to you?” Ghetsis curled up in the sand.

“Ghetsis…” Colress shook his head. “I was only trying to get you used to being called that. Alright, I’ll still use your name. But only I can use your name, okay?”

“Ugh.” Ghetsis slammed his head into the sand with a thump.

“You know, Ghetsis…I really do love what I’ve done for us.” Colress leaned back in his chair. 

Ghetsis didn’t respond.

“I can leave without having to worry where you are or what you’re doing…No one even knows you exist!” He laughed dryly. “And you aren’t my boss anymore.”

Ghetsis continued his silence, hoping Colress would take the message that he didn’t want to hear it.
    “To be honest with you, I grew to hate you in the Frigate.” Colress said. “I hated everything about you. Oh, not everything. ” He smirked. “But it’s all fixed now. It’s perfect. I love you so much. I hated the old you but this you is the perfect little Ghetsis for me.”  

Ghetsis grimaced. “I still hate you.”

“With everything else you provide, I don’t need your gratitude, anyway.” Colress then reset the world back to the bedroom.

Ghetsis immediately tumbled onto the floor. “AH!”

Colress laughed. “Oops.”

“And you wonder why I hate you.” Ghetsis staggered upright.

“Oh, I don’t wonder. Anyway, we’ve got to get to work.”

“What now?” He grumbled.

“Well…I’ve secured us an interview! They’ll be talking to you to prove you’re real .”

“I don’t want to talk to anyone!” Ghetsis turned away.

“You have to. You present as a super-impressive realistic AI, and that’s probably easy to fake with video, so if you talk to someone in-person, the proof will be right there that you really are just a brilliant AI.”

“Colress. I’m…not an AI.” 

“Yes, I know that, but the rest of the world doesn’t need to. It’s the best possible explanation for how realistically you behave.”

“You’re telling me to lie.”

“Yes. You’re going to tell them you’re an AI and that I created you. Act like yourself, but your words have to be appropriate.”

A smirk creeped onto Ghetsis’ face.

Colress raised an eyebrow. “What are you thinking?”

Ghetsis tilted his head slightly and batted his eyelashes at him. “No, Colress…I’ll be good.”

“Hmm…” A subtle color washed over his face. “Good? Maybe I should trust you a little more.” 

Ghetsis nodded eagerly, anticipating the things he’d say to ruin him.

“Ha!” Colress pointed a finger at him. “I know you thought your attempt at seduction worked on me, but it did not! ”

His face fell. “What?”

“No matter how cute you try to look, at the end of the day, I know you, Ghetsis!” Colress laughed. “You’re an angry man that thinks of revenge all day long. I can’t leave you alone to let you plot my downfall.”

“My anger at you is one hundred percent justifiable.” He scowled.

“Many would not agree.” Colress said. “Feel free to keep acting cute, though. It’s not like I don’t enjoy it. In fact, it may be good practice for your interview.”

“You told me to act like myself not five minutes ago!”

“Yes, but if your miserable side is the only side they see, it won't go over well. Even the prettiest faces look worse with a frown.”

“I can’t even frown?! Your expectations of me are sickening! Have you forgotten that I barely had the muscles to smile anymore when I was alive?!”

“Have you forgotten the expectations you placed on others?”

Ghetsis paused. “It…it isn’t the same! There was nothing physically stopping Natural from achieving my goals!”

“That just isn’t true. You mistreated him, but he was born that way, wasn’t he?”

Ghetsis was quiet as usual.

“Oh, and you’re calling him Natural now?” Colress chuckled. “Do you miss him?”

He turned away. “I don’t. ”

“Good. Because he doesn’t miss you.”
    Ghetsis looked down at the floor. He couldn’t bring himself to doubt Colress’ words, not after the day he had just had. He just hated admitting to himself that Colress was right about anything.

“Okay, I’ll let you sulk while I get back to the interview.” Colress said. “Don’t make me talk too much. I’m supposed to have my own segment, but when it’s your turn, I’m not going to rescue you. It won’t look good if I have to direct your answers!”

“You’re directing my answers right now.”

“I’m preparing you.” Colress smiled. “Now that I consider the way you are, I think you should try to act a bit unlike yourself. You’re whiny.”

“Do you think that I don’t know how to act in public?!” Ghetsis scowled. “Did you forget that most of Unova was convinced that my ideals were philanthropic?!” 

“Oh. I can give you that, sure. You know, I always wondered how it took so long for someone to suspect you when you dressed like that.”

Ghetsis shook his head. “Quite rich coming from the mad scientist who people still seem to trust.”

“I’m a man of science, Ghetsis.” Colress’ smile remained firmly plastered on his face. “You’re a…you’re…you’re something.”

Ghetsis glared up at him.

“Don’t worry, you’re a good something.” Colress said. “Anyway, yes, I’m very aware of how you mask in public. I just think you should mask differently for the interview. Let some of what no one saw before into your personality. I’d like to see more of a bubbly version of you.”

Ghetsis snickered. “Hm…Oh? Really?” He slowly built up to raucous laughter. It was the hardest he’d laughed in a long time.

“Ah…huh? What did I say that was funny?”

“You…you seriously thought that I could feel BUBBLY right now?!” He fell backwards onto the floor, catching his breath.

“Oh…no, Ghetsis.” Colress chuckled. “I never said you had to feel bubbly, just that you should act that way.”

Ghetsis lifted his head. “Fake my emotions?”

“Yes, you did it all the time with Team Plasma.”

He paused. “Perhaps I did, but never like that. I never faked my passion for achieving my goals, I simply lied about what the goals were.” He laid his head back down. “I really don’t think I faked my emotions at all. Surely I would have had better control over my anger if my feelings weren’t real.”

“Hmm…you truly fascinate me, dear.”

“Why? You can’t just fabricate a feeling out of thin air.”

“I do.” Colress said.

“Huh?”

“I do. At all times. Every emotion I have is carefully planned and presented.”

“That…is ridiculous. You’re telling me that you never feel genuinely?”

“Not necessarily. I just have no issue presenting the correct version of myself in any circumstance.”

Ghetsis paused for a moment, giving it some thought.

“So…does love happen to be a part of that?”

“Oh, don’t suggest I don’t love you, Ghetsis. I just choose not to show that to anyone else.”

Ghetsis chose not to reply to that one.

“What I’m saying is that I want you to follow my example and present the right emotion for the occasion. It’s very simple.”

Ghetsis turned away from Colress again.

“Ghetsis? Have I broken you?”

It seemed to be so, as he did not speak another word.

“Hm…okay. I think you understand what I need from you now.” Colress stood. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Rest up, now.”

He let Colress leave without protest. 

Still in silence, Ghetsis crawled into bed, and stared up at the ceiling.

After what felt like forever, he finally rolled over onto his side and shut his eyes.

Ghetsis hoped that if he slept off the dread in his stomach, perhaps he would be liberated of feeling.

Chapter Text

        Ruby Eyes of the Future: A Day with G1-G1

Colress Gropius promises that his AI, G1-G1, will change the world.

One night in January 2034, Colress Gropius received a revelation that would change his life. He, who had previously worked in the study of Pokemon power, suddenly radically pivoted his focus to that of artificial intelligence. Despite having little to no knowledge on the subject, Gropius took it upon himself to independently study datasets of human language and behavior as well as machine learning. Over the span of just under 2 years of complete isolation in his private laboratory, under a private company he calls “Afterware”, Gropius achieved what seemed impossible: a completely human AI.

At least, that’s what Gropius told me when we met in his home just off the coast of southeastern Unova. He seems to have converted some of his lab into a living space, which is where we were permitted to be during the duration of the interview. Previously, the lab was a secret hub of Team Plasma, which explains its odd location of being situated on a small island. It seems that after the death of Team Plasma’s founder, and its subsequent disbandment, Gropius kept possession of many of its assets.

“Please, call me Colress.” He insisted. “There’s no need to be so formal.”

A lack of formality was consistent with Colress in my time with him. His living space is compact - with only a kitchen and, according to him, a bedroom. Even from where we sat in the kitchen, various papers and folders littered the counters, along with other unclear material that he did not elaborate on.

He speaks with an unusual cadence. The inflections in his voice seem to be very intentionally placed, almost like he taught himself how to speak by watching television. When I pointed this out to him, he seemed to take it with a good sense of humor.

“It’s a little hard to talk normally when you’ve only been speaking to your own creation for two years.” Colress told me with a chuckle. 

What exactly is the creation that he isolated himself from the rest of society for? Well, when he wheeled the giant monitor into his tiny kitchen, I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. While I was of course familiar with Colress’ project, it’s hard to imagine a digital influencer actually standing in front of you.

Yes, this all begins with yet another influencer. If you’ve yet to see him somehow, his name is G1-G1, and he stands nearly up to the ceiling. This feminine, blue-skinned…creature? Has been all over the internet in the past week, dominating social media with his unusual appearance and posts. It started with a few photos, staged in equally unusual worlds. Now, his social media presence features videos of G1-G1 seeming to actually be a “person”, doing things like running around a field and picking flowers.

 It’s definitely interesting to watch this willowy person covered in unusual markings appearing to act so human. This being, flanked by floating pieces of hair and pixie wings, is described by Colress as an “industrial cyber-fairy”. In the field video, he actually stumbles on the grass, lacking the mechanically perfect movements one would expect from an artificial being. In another video, he jumps off of a small bench, and lets out a realistic yelp when he lands. It isn’t clear what exactly prompts the response in G1-G1, but the look of surprise on his face when the ground meets him seems very much to be a genuine reaction. 

Where did all of this come from? I asked Colress what spurred his change in profession. He seemed to have trouble finding the answer, ultimately telling me that the idea simply came to him.

“I saw G1-G1 in my head one day. I couldn’t just let something like that be a thought.” Colress said. “It was so fascinating. I saw this unreal person in my mind and I just had to…I just had to make him real. I had to bring him to life.”

And thus, with nothing but an idea and a shoddy sketch, he got to work researching how to achieve his dream. After only a few short months of research, he had managed to build a decently conversational AI. 

He sounded very fond of reminiscing on earlier versions of G1-G1. “Maybe it was just the fact I had no human interaction,” Colress chuckled, “but he was very fun to talk to, even when he struggled with conversations. He could tell me all about the history of a painting, but he couldn’t say how he felt about it. It was sweet watching him try so hard, though.”

In this period of time, G1-G1 lacked the expertly sculpted model he sports nowadays, with an equally rudimentary voice to match. Colress showed me an example from his development, and G1-G1 was basically a painted cube with a text-to-speech voice. 

“Sorry I don’t have a working prototype of that version.” He said, without prompting. “I thought it would be weird to have multiple G1-G1s talking to me at once. One of him is more than enough of a handful!” He laughed to himself.

I asked what kind of life Colress led during his isolation. Subsisting on a diet of mostly “bagel burgers”, it seems as though his work mattered less than his health. I could have probably figured that one out myself, what with the empty wrappers in and around the garbage can. 

“Science is less ‘life of glamor’, and more ‘survival’.” Colress said regarding his living conditions. “G1-G1’s living space matters far more than my own. Of course, it is really nice to never have to sweep his floors.” 

I spent about 20 minutes speaking with Colress before I realized that G1-G1 was “on”. While I didn’t expect him to not be on during an interview, it wasn’t until I happened to glance his way that I saw his eyes look elsewhere. He had simply not spoken yet, and I wasn’t sure why. I was also a bit perplexed that he rejected my eye contact. 

“He gets anxious around new people.” Colress told me, further elaborating that with a human personality came human struggles. 

So, I asked G1-G1 directly about his anxiety. With an awkward smile, he said, “It’s nothing new…I’ve had anxiety my whole life.”

What “my whole life” means, I’m not entirely sure, but G1-G1 guessed around three weeks. Colress told me it was more like three or four months.

I am no medical professional, but it truly did seem as if G1-G1 had some issues with anxiety. He fiddled with his clothes, fingers, and hair the entire duration of the interview, and he couldn’t keep his eyes on me for longer than a few seconds. As much as I felt a bit bad for staring at someone that didn’t seem too fond of it, it was interesting to watch his movements. None of them were identical, and it was evident that they could not have been animated by Colress prior to the interview. I suppose it’s hypothetically possible, but the time it would take to achieve such precise and small movement would take even longer than G1-G1’s own existence. 

Yes, I walked into the interview somewhat skeptical about Colress’ achievement. The videos really do seem too awe-inspiring to be real, and it would be far easier to creatively stage a model and voice actor than to revolutionize artificial intelligence. While talking to G1-G1 himself is one thing, I also asked Colress plenty of questions about what exactly went into his creation.

It seemed as though Colress did not have much from the development of G1-G1 to show me besides a few photos and videos. In general, he wasn’t eager to share too much information with me. I was quite lucky to even have secured an interview, he said, as according to him he’s had to ponder over dozens of requests for such. He was receptive to my questions, but is unable to share what he calls his “trade secrets” of how to achieve that final push into total humanity.

“It’s really quite simple, I’m sure other people would figure it out and steal my accomplishment if I said too much.” Colress said. “Really, the proof is right here with G1-G1 himself. He can talk to you about anything you ask him.”

He also permitted me to have a look around G1-G1’s monitor, and there didn’t appear to be anything too strange coming out of it, though it’s not terribly useful to look at since it’s only a monitor. It is wireless, and he told me it was connected to his computer (the actual device hosting G1-G1’s AI) via his Internet connection.

“I’ve never been on the internet before.” It was the first thing G1-G1 said without being asked. 

There is an intense naivete about G1-G1, which seems obvious given how new he is to a “life”. His eyes are large, wide, and even with his unusual dark sclera, carry a sort of innocence and curiosity, similar to a child. He’ll be the first to tell you that he’s no child, however.

“I don’t think you can put a number on my age.” His gaze was towards the floor the entire time he spoke. “I’m…I guess I’m a few months old. But clearly I’m not a baby, right? I know a lot of things. I can talk, I can walk…freely. I have dating preferences. I…” He continued after an awkward giggle. “I even have sexual preferences. It’s kind of embarrassing, but I think it is part of being human.” 

G1-G1 was not keen on discussing said preferences with me, and I have to be understanding enough to give him the same lenience on that subject as I would a real human. He became very flustered, turning an ultramarine-type color as Colress assured me that those more delicate aspects about G1-G1’s personality would come to light in the coming months. 

G1-G1 considers himself to be human. Sure, he looks like he belongs in a sci-fi movie, but he believes that the inside matters more than a simulated outside. Through the duration of the interview, he was always very open about his feelings at the given moment, and I could see and hear from his expressions and voice fluctuations that he truly was experiencing emotion. The difference between him and the rest of us is that his emotions come from code rather than hormones. A good point G1-G1 brought up was that the cells that make up living organisms are truly just organic variants of code. 

“My feelings may not be considered as real because of that. My experience, though! I experience my feelings the same exact way a human does.” G1-G1 was quite passionate, another feeling of his I was able to notice.

How does such a new being come to know this much about biology and code? It isn’t much different from how you or I learn - you just teach him. The difference comes in when considering the speed at which an AI can learn. Colress hasn’t measured G1-G1’s learning speed - so as to not give him another insecurity, he says - but it takes little to no repetition for him to “learn” something. Coupled with a very low processing time, Colress simply provides databases of information and G1-G1 can learn all of it within a few minutes. 

None of this is to say that G1-G1 is some kind of knowledge machine - he couldn’t tell you very much about math, for example. Colress didn’t teach him just for him to be able to recite information, since any text-to-speech software could easily accomplish the same. Instead, he told me the goal was for him to be like a human with interests in the sense that he, in fact, had a good amount of knowledge for said interests. A good balance between knowledge and social skills are needed to hold a conversation, and Colress intends for G1-G1 to be very conversational. While G1-G1 was quite shy during our interview, Colress hopes he can help him through it, and it is at least a very human type of deficit in social skills.

G1-G1’s specializations are in art, history, fashion, and a little science, which Colress says is his newest subject. His lack of confidence with the sciences seems to confirm that. 

“I’m into fashion? Definitely…I’m a model, after all…” G1-G1 spoke when I questioned him on it. “And I do like to be pretty. I think I’m pretty. I wear a lot of blue and pink because it complements my hair. I like soft materials. Somehow, I can feel them on my skin.” He flashed me another quirky smile.

It is interesting that G1-G1 has some kind of perception of his own attractiveness. On its own, it wouldn’t be unusual, but with how drastically his appearance differs from a human’s, he finds it difficult to compare himself to Unovan beauty standards. When so many of his firsts are before an audience of thousands of people, G1-G1 admits he feels the pressure of social media, too.

“I’m glad things are going well for me.” He said on the matter. “But trying…to be human enough for others…that makes it hard to be so new and in public.”

G1-G1 seemed to take the posts in good spirit when I showed them to him, laughing about the point being made. 

“I guess they’re right! I can see why humans would compare me to a Pokemon. No one really looks like me…and, haha, I don’t need room for organs when I don’t have any!” He said on the matter. “I hope I can be less scary than a Hatterene, though. I think I’m a nice person and I care about human feelings.”

One thing that perpetually nagged at me every time I looked at G1-G1 was…well, his face. The long red line below his nose, so neon and bright that it calls your attention, definitely called mine the entire interview. What is the purpose of such a strange facial marking? I’m not the only one who wondered.

“I could not tell you why I have a permanent nosebleed.” G1-G1 told me when I asked. “I’m not the one who designed me!”

“It was a very deliberate choice.” Colress promptly responded before I could bring the question to him. “The rest of his face is all blue. Reusing the bright red of his eyes and ears gives contrast to the rest of his face, and uniqueness is really important to me. I wanted my G1-G1 to stand out from everyone else. I intended it to look like a nosebleed, but it’s only a flat texture.”

Now equipped with a better idea of who - and what - G1-G1 was, I asked Colress what he planned for him in the future. In just a few short weeks, he had already gone fairly viral as a virtual model. There is no shortage of discussions online about him, and if I had been permitted to stay longer - so as to have more to say - there would be more examples of that here.

Colress was delighted to talk about what he had planned. “The future is very bright for us! G1-G1 will be able to do even more very soon. No one has seen it yet, but he’s learning a lot about performing. You can expect a great show from him in…a couple weeks!” 

He did not share many details about this “show”, but he told me it would be an in-person event - with perhaps a larger screen facing an audience - and that tickets would go on sale very soon. No locations, dates, or prices were confirmed, but he tells me that he plans not to charge very much for the tickets to ensure that anyone can come and “verify the greatness” of G1-G1. He also did not share what exactly G1-G1 was going to be doing - saying that it was going to be revealed when a proper announcement came.

Besides a show, Colress also plans to take G1-G1 to other regions. This plan, he tells me, is not formed as far as the show, and will most likely happen in early 2036.

“There are lots of people far away that would love to see him, so I will take him on a little tour. First, of course, I want to prove myself and G1-G1 to all of Unova. When everyone here at home knows him, then I’ll start traveling.” Colress told me. “I need to get some more practice moving him farther away from my lab, though!” 

And with that, my interview with Colress came to an end. Citing the amount of plans he had - I had only 2 or so hours to speak with him. Promising me that we could meet again in a few months, perhaps when G1-G1 has grown even more successful, so that he can be compared to his roots in this interview, he began preparing to take G1-G1 back into the lab.

“Bye-bye, or…toodles! Or just goodbye.” G1-G1 said before he was departed. “It was nice talking to somebody new.” 

That statement brought Colress a chuckle, agreeing that they essentially only spoke with one another most days. 

As I left Colress’s home, I pondered what the purpose was behind Afterware. G1-G1 is its only product - and I also wonder how he would feel about being called such a thing - and his purpose seems to only be to entertain. Entertainment AIs are not at all new, but G1-G1 is so advanced that I personally hope he will be able to be more than just an entertainer. 

At the same time, it was very evident in my interview that Colress Gropius is a very intelligent man. No matter what mine or anyone else’s assumptions are, he knows exactly what he is doing, and I’m sure he will find a way to utilize what he has to the fullest extent. I’m definitely looking forward to following his journey, and if he ever accepts a follow-up interview, I will be taking it. 

Afterware promises to bring the world experiences of the future.

Chapter Text

He checked his pockets.

Keys, wallet, little squeaky ball, piece of candy, little phone…

“Hey…” 

N turned his head to the door of his room.

Anthea was peeking her head inside. “What are you doing?”

“I am…standing here.” N spoke.

“You’ve been doing it for the past few minutes.” She stepped into the room. “Are you okay?”

N nodded. “I think I’m going to…go somewhere.”

“Really?” She tilted her head. “Like, somewhere far?”

“I don’t know…is Castelia City far?”

“Um…for you, yes. But I’m actually really glad!” Anthea walked closer to him. “When’s the last time you’ve left Driftveil?”

N frowned. “The last time I saw Father…”

“Right… so , I think it’s great that you feel good enough to go out now.”

“Yes. And I think I’m ready to go now. I have everything I need.”

“Good!” Anthea smiled. “What are you going to Castelia for?”

N turned his head away, mumbling. “Casteliacone.”

She giggled. “Makes sense!” She then put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. You especially deserve to treat yourself with a little trip after so long.”

“I’ve…really never been on one.”

“Exactly! So I hope you have fun!” She gave N a quick hug. “You should tell everyone that you’re leaving though.”

He nodded. “I will.”

Anthea ran ahead of him out of the room, and he slowly followed. The door was open by the time he reached the front room, so he continued out of the house.

Concordia was out in the garden, and her face showed surprise.

“You’re going to Castelia?!” She half-chuckled.

“I’m going to try.” N clasped his hands together. “But I am nervous.”

“And you’re doing this alone?”

“Concordia, he’s 24! ” Anthea spoke before he could. “He can go somewhere else for a few hours.”

“Yes, but…” Concordia looked at him. “You must call if anything goes wrong.”

“I will!” N protested. “I just really want an ice cream.”

“Oh, a Casteliacone?” She smiled. “I hope you’re bringing us some.”

“Only if nothing goes wrong.” N giggled a bit.

“As long as you have fun, then.” She laughed, before turning back to her work.

N felt like he was in a somewhat better state of mind after speaking to his sisters, so he finally decided to get going. He made a quick visit to the Woobat house, gently putting his hand inside and petting the little balls of fluff. The sun was well and out, so they only granted him a few sleepy chirps of appreciation, but he knew nonetheless he was welcomed by them anytime. 

With a few more goodbyes to the Pokemon they were living with, he was off.

N had been very careful with his time management. When he arrived at the station, his train was not due to arrive for another ten minutes. This was very intentional on his part, carving out time specifically to sit and admire the other trains starting and stopping their journeys.

He gently sat on a bench, feeling a bit vulnerable being surrounded by so many strangers. Truly, he had never traveled so aimlessly before. The life or death mission he was on 4 years ago clouded any enjoyment he may have had with exploration.

Thankfully, N quickly found himself lost in admiring the displays of engineering before his eyes. If there was one good thing about being isolated for so long, it was how new everything was! Trains hadn’t had wheels anymore for a while, but it was still so fascinating to watch them breeze by at their incomprehensible speed. Even someone like him had no chance of keeping up with such a marvel, and he really enjoyed that.

It wasn’t until he realized he was being stared at that it occurred to N that he had gotten on the ground to get a better look at the mechanisms keeping the train suspended yet also on the track.

“Oh…” He quickly shuffled back onto the bench, feeling his face turn red.

Despite the embarrassment, N couldn’t blame himself there. Oh, what wouldn’t he do to get a chance to look inside of one of those trains?

He sighed. As much as he enjoyed studying and looking at trains, it always ended up reminding him of his old home. That train set was one of the few things he had to himself, since Ghetsis had no interest in the toy. Memories came to him of learning how to fix it himself when the wear and tear of daily use became too much for it.

As he prepared to ground himself from that potential spiral, his train arrived. With another sigh, now of relief, he joined his fellow passengers in boarding. Though he was very nervous about it, he managed to pay for his ticket without issue, and made his way through in search of a seat.

N found himself hesitating to take a seat, walking through much of the train so that he could see all of its parts. He wished the train wasn’t so busy so he could take his time doing so, sadly being rushed into sitting before there were no spots left.

He felt eyes on him as he sat, though he quickly chose to stare out the window and ignore them. Reaching into his pocket, he held the little ball he had brought in his hand, choosing not to squeak it while everyone was still boarding. He sat in silence, waiting to feel the train’s movement around him.

“Hello, sir?” 

N heard the voice, but assumed it had nothing to do with him. 

“Excuse me?” 

N turned his head, frowning when he saw he was being addressed. “I’m sorry?”

It seemed to be an employee. “Are you…N Harmonia?”

He sighed. “I am.”

“Ah! So you’re still in Unova after all…where are you headed?”

“Castelia City.” N lowered his voice.

The employee nodded. “And…how would you like a private car?”

N could hardly believe the words spoken to him. A private car?! What was he, some kind of celebrity?

“I don’t have that kind of money.” N turned away.

“Oh…” The employee sounded doubtful of his words, but still awkwardly left him alone.

N reclined back a bit in his seat, groaning at the painfulness of that interaction. What even was that? Why were people assuming he was wealthy?

He gulped when it occurred to him it was because of his father’s wealth. As the train began moving, he squeezed the ball hard, failing to dodge the feelings of resentment inside of him.

Sure, the assumption wasn’t completely irrational. Ghetsis was a very wealthy man, and he had been dead nearly two years. Of course most people would assume he got some part of that money.

Just as much, though, N knew that Ghetsis did not anticipate dying when he did. It was very sudden, and he doubted a man like Ghetsis had written a will. He wasn’t so un-self-aware that he thought he had a long time left, but he was incredibly afraid of his own mortality to the point that he would not even discuss it.

If Ghetsis had written a will, he knew very well that he would be excluded, anyway. There was a chance he would have given his sisters something to help them along, but N knew his father hated him so much he would have gotten something like 1 Pokedollar, just so that the intentions of his will could not be misinterpreted.

If all of that inheritance went to anyone, it was Colress. Not that N cared what he would do with it.

He rested his head on the window. At least he had his little ball toy to squeeze, it really did help when he couldn’t escape negative thoughts like that. The squeak was just loud enough that he could hear it, but was drowned out for anyone else by the train’s roar.

That, too, made him thankful that Ghetsis was gone. All trains were very loud, and if Ghetsis had somehow accompanied him on this trip, he would have been reduced to a mess of tears and blubbering. Despite being so harsh in his speech, the man could not handle loud noises himself.

N decided it was time to stop thinking about Ghetsis. The train was nearly at Castelia, after all.

He stared out the window with awe as the metropolis grew closer, entranced by how quickly he realized he was traveling. How long had it been? 20 minutes? While he was seriously impressed by the speed, he was also a bit disappointed that his schedule was now ahead of itself.

The spectacle before him, though, more than made up for that disappointment.

It was so amazing, feeling the world blow by him while he sat in comfort in the train. The city looked stunning from this view, N being unable to do anything else but stare. It was so nice to just lose himself in an experience like this.

When the train arrived in Castelia, N found himself in a much better mood than when he boarded the train. He exited the station with a slight smile on his face, ready to fulfill his light-hearted mission. 

With eyes darting all around the city, N made his way down the large, main road. It looked quite a bit different on the surface from when he had last visited, but the structure of each street was the same. The best way to have no one bother you was to walk with confidence, so he sort of speed-walked with authority to the correct road.

There was a beating in N’s chest as he drew closer to where he knew Casteliacone to be, suddenly worrying it may have closed. The crowding of people down the road prevented him from seeing clearly, so he picked up his pace with shortening breaths.

“Ah…” He came to a stop. 

Casteliacone was open, but it seemed to be absolutely packed. With a short sigh, N found the line and joined it. At least he had the extra time to wait in a long line now. Within a few minutes, he’d moved ahead a little bit, but there were also at least a dozen people behind him. It was good that he joined when he did. The wait also gave him time to look at his surroundings some more. It made him feel like a young child who had never seen anything before, but…well, it wasn’t that far off.

There was a sign stand a bit further down the line that caught his eye, and he took a moment to observe it. On it was a very strange looking person. Was it a person? It was some sort of computer-generated image, N guessed. People don’t tend to have blue skin and luminescent green hair, though it was a bit interesting to see representation for a hair color like his own.

This person in the advertisement seemed to be enjoying their equally computer-generated Casteliacone. The concept wasn’t one N understood very well, but he wasn’t going to give it too much thought. Maybe someday he would feel fully integrated into regular society, but for now he would settle for being confused at advertisements. 

Casteliacone must have been pretty well-staffed, because it only took a few more minutes for N to reach the front of the line.

“How many?” An employee spoke to him, not even bothering to look at him as they served another customer.

“Just one.” N spoke. He would have to come back for his sisters’ later, though he realized they would probably end up melting before he got home anyway.

“100 Pokedollars.” They replied as soon as he said the word.

N hurriedly fished out a bill from his wallet, and just as quickly received his cone. He walked away from the stand so as to not be in the way, noticing also how identical his cone was to everyone else’s. He was glad that he had not received too much or too little.

And it looked delicious.

After finding a place to sit, N started to eat his Casteliacone. It was a bit awkward sitting there licking an ice cream cone in silence, but it was easy for him to not care with how spectacular it was. The sweet flavor really drew him in, though it was so intense that he knew he’d be tapped out on these for at least a month. After 4 years, though? A perfect treat.

As he worked on the Casteliacone, N watched the crowds of people walking by. The line was still as long as ever, and it seemed like foot traffic was at its peak for the day. Some people looked at him, but it seemed like most of them doubted who it was. He was grateful people chose to leave him be no matter what the reason was.

Before long, N was finishing off the cone, feeling like his health was fully restored. He stood up with the wrapper in his hand, approaching the garbage bin as he thought of his trip back home.

He heard a loud gasp behind him, causing him to jump and drop the wrapper right into the trash.

“N, is that you?! Over here !” 

His eyes darted to the voice, widening with recognition.

“...Rosa!” N blinked, put on the spot.

He felt Rosa slam into him in a giant hug, nearly knocking him over. It caught him off guard, but he returned the hug after regaining his bearings.

“Oh, wow! I can’t believe it’s really you!” Rosa said as she squeezed the life out of N.

“Ah…uh…thank you.” N took a deep breath when she finally let him go.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! Where have you been?” The words rattled out, Rosa’s excitement making her talk a mile a minute.

“Driftveil. I…that’s where I’ve been living.”

Rosa nodded, the smile only growing wider on her face. She didn’t look that different from when he had last seen her, but she seemed to have traded in the athleisure for something less informal. Her outfit was a simple blouse and tennis skirt combination, though her hairstyle remained.

“I’m really glad you didn’t leave! I wondered all the time what happened to you.” 

Right. Her speaking was a good cue to stop analyzing her like she was a math problem. N just couldn’t help but feel like he had let the world leave him behind even more, seeing how the people he knew had changed without him. N still wore the same clothes he’d worn since he’d reached this height, to the point of needing to repair a lot of them. His style was just whatever clothes he had.

“I did leave Unova for a short time…but it was before I met you.” N explained, leading them away from the trash so as to not be in anyone’s way. “Before…before Team Plasma was reformed.”

“Oh…” Rosa’s face fell a bit as a thought seemed to come to her. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

“Sorry? You-...Oh.” N let out an intentional sigh. “Ghetsis, you mean.”

“Yeah…I know your dad sucked, but I didn’t wanna assume! Maybe you did feel bad about it!”

“I don’t. I’m neither happy nor sad about it.” N averted his eyes. “It’s just a fact of life. He’s gone, and I’ve slowly been moving on.”

“Oh! Then I’m proud of you!” Rosa clasped her hands together. “Grief must be really hard…”

N shook his head. “I don’t feel human grief.”

“That’s because you haven’t known very many humans!” Rosa smiled, seemingly trying to cheer N up with her optimism. “We can work on that, you know!”

“I have been. I…have a job.” It was kind of silly thinking N had taken time off from it just to do this.

Rosa gasped. “That’s so cool!” She turned away from him slightly. “Let’s walk and talk and you can tell me all about it!”

N simply nodded, choosing to follow her throughout the city. 

“Uh…well, I work at the flower shop in Driftveil. I talk to a lot of people there. And now…I know more about flowers than I would ever need to.”

“That’s really cool, though!” Rosa said. “I should go there sometime!”

N laughed for the first time that day. “You would come all the way from Aspertia just to see me?”

Rosa returned the laugh. “Well, with this …” She pulled a Pokeball out of her bag. “It only takes like 10 minutes to get to the other side of Unova!”

N carefully watched the vibrations coming from the ball.

“Zekrom…” He quietly said, a slight ache in his chest as he stared at the Pokeball holding his old friend.

“Wow, you knew that just from looking at it?” Rosa asked. “I knew you were smart, but like, WOW!”

“I could never forget any of my friends…” 

“I hope you didn’t forget me, then!” She looked towards the road. “Hey, do you ever have Gracideas over there?”

“Not very often. They only grow in Sinnoh and Alola, so they are expensive to import.”

“Aww, that’s kind of a shame. They’re so pretty! And…I always wanted to be prepared in case I ever got to see Shaymin!”

“Shaymin?”

“I love Shaymin! I’ve wanted to see it since I was a kid. I love that color of green so much!”

N stared at her in abject confusion. She returned his gaze, before it occurred to her why he looked so mortified. 

“Oh!” She laughed. “I meant on Pokemon, silly! You’re not a Pokemon.”

He continued to stare, trying desperately to calm his heartbeat. “Yes. No, I am a human.” He shook his head to clear himself of that worry.

Thankfully, the two of them had reached one of the piers, stopping their walk. They decided to sit by the ocean, though even the pier had quite a few people on it.

“Hey, remember when you showed me around the castle you used to live in?” Rosa changed the subject.

N nodded. It was a pretty hard day for him, it wasn’t like he’d just forget.

“Well, a while ago I saw pictures of what it used to look like, and…how did it get that ruined in only two years? It looked really nicely kept before!”

“Ah.” N stared down at his feet, shame filling his body.

“What’s wrong?” Rosa looked at him. “Was it…the battle you had with that boy?”

“No, nothing like that.” N shook his head. “Reshiram and Zekrom would not have caused that much destruction.”

“So then what happened? Were you not there when it crumbled or something?” 

“I was there.” 

“Well…?” Rosa stared up at him in confusion.

“You really want to know, don’t you?” N couldn’t keep the frown off of his face. “It’s a long story. I’m not proud of it.”

“Of course I wanna know! You’re my friend!” She frowned a little seeing the despondent look on N’s face. “You’re a good person, N. I really don’t think there’s anything you would have done that would make me think you aren’t. Unless you killed someone or something!”

“Killed someone?” 

“I mean, yeah!” She looked at him for a moment before raising an eyebrow. “...You didn’t kill anyone, did you?”

“Absolutely not!” N was incredulous. “No!”

“Then you probably didn’t do anything that bad. But you gotta tell me!” Rosa insisted.

“Fine…” N took a deep breath.

The sheets of N’s bed felt like sandpaper underneath him as he sat in it. It was well into the night, a fact N only knew because of his timekeeping skills. His home was always dimly lit, and now it was hard to see anything at all. His hands squeezed firmly on the blanket in an attempt to calm himself.

Hours had already been spent tossing and turning in this bed, trying desperately to let sleep come to him even if it meant he had to cry himself to that state. N knew by now he had no chance of sleeping here, no matter how much his eyes burned for it.

It was N’s first night sleeping alone. Ever.

Ghetsis had fled with more than half of Team Plasma, no doubt to hide from the government after N failed him. While some members ended up staying on N’s side, they along with his sisters had left to find themselves an alternative place to stay. Even all of the Pokemon that lived there were gone, taken along with each opposing side as they left the castle.

That left N alone in the giant castle he had grown up in. 

During 15 years of living there, he had never even been alone during the day. There were far too many people working there for that to happen, and Ghetsis usually only left when he was forced to by the hospital.

Most of these people treated him like an annoying, defective tool, but he wasn’t prepared for all of them to be gone. At the end of everything, when he had tried as hard as he could, he was abandoned as soon as he lost.

N fell back onto his pillow, crying into it. Despite knowing no one would come for at least a few days, he cried as quietly as possible. He still felt so ashamed for feeling so badly. His teeth even sunk into the pillow to stop himself from screaming aimlessly. The only thing that stopped him was feeling the pillowcase tear open.

With a quivering body, N slowly sat up once again, struggling to keep his balance. He looked at the now ripped pillowcase with shame, ultimately deciding he was better off not being in bed anymore. Stumbling to his feet, N rolled off of the bed.

His room was just as it had been a few days ago. The train was still on its track, ready to be run as it had just recently been.

After thinking for a moment, he sat down in front of it. Maybe a few runs of his train set would make him feel better, he thought. He tended to find the noises of the train rocking along the track soothing, so he set it up and let it run.

N sat quietly as it began its journey. After a few seconds, the train reached the piece of track in which it had originally started, where it then began its journey once again. Its beginning was the same as its end. It was a loop. It never ended. As N watched his train, he curled in on himself a bit, uncomfortable as he thought about it.

It was a lot like his own life. Until all of this had happened, his life was the same every day. Even when Ghetsis’ plan went into full swing it was still consistent, starting and ending his day with the same people. 

Now, his train’s track had broken, and he could go forward no longer. N was no longer confined to a track, and now he had no idea where he was supposed to go.

Overwhelmed by these thoughts, he grabbed one of the pieces of the track, throwing it at the wall. It struck the framed geometric pattern, causing it to hang unevenly. The train, now without a loop, raced off of the track and crashed to the ground shortly afterwards.

N felt the exact same way.

He stood back up, the tears flowing once again. Nothing could make him feel better. N turned on his heel and ran out of his room, until he could see the nearest window. It was always a far walk from his room to a window, because N might have gotten ideas if he was able to see outdoors unsupervised. 

The moon’s height once he reached the window told him that it was 3 A.M.

N frowned. He’d really been at this for 5 hours, uselessly trying to sleep? No wonder he felt so out of it. And Arceus only knew the last time he’d had something to eat…

His feet kept moving themselves, so he decided he’d just let himself walk around the castle for a bit. Maybe he would calm down from that, or maybe he was better off going outside for a bit to get some fresh air. 

No. If he left, he doubted he’d be able to come back. As much as he hated being there, he had to stay until someone came to get him.

If anyone ever would come to get him, that is.

There was a little bit of peace in listening to the sound of his footsteps, only paying the smallest amount of attention to what was in front of him. That was probably a mistake.

“No…” N uttered upon realizing he’d walked right to Ghetsis’ room. The door was…open. 

While N had been in Ghetsis’ room plenty of times, Ghetsis tended to lock himself in his room when he didn’t want to see him. It was always shut and locked outside of that, too. N only saw the room when Ghetsis was too unwell to leave it.

And now…there it was, open for him to see. Why was the door open? Ghetsis wouldn’t have done that. Even if N had won, surely Ghetsis would have kept that boundary.

N assumed it was the doing of someone else who lived there. Perhaps one of the Sages had possession of the key.

Knowing that it would only upset him further, N entered Ghetsis’ room anyway. Maybe he could destroy something beloved of his, just to make himself feel better.

N stopped in his tracks when he finished that thought. Where did that come from? That was a very angry and violent thing for him to think about doing. His heart pounded in his chest at the thought’s mere existence.

Ghetsis’ room looked the same as it always had. That was no surprise to N, the man hated when there was a change in his living environment. While the general design motif of the room was consistent with a man in his forties, the stuffed animals taking up half of the space on the bed definitely weren’t. Their arrangement was exact to how he remembered it, making N wonder if whoever had been in here had left it the same because they expected Ghetsis to return someday.

N did not like that thought, and he did not like looking at these toys. Several of them had been gifts to him from the Sages when he was younger, and he clenched his fist thinking of how many times Ghetsis had told him they needed fixing, only to later see them having joined the ranks of stuffed animals on Ghetsis’ bed.

No wonder N was having such a hard time being alone. He was raised by a selfish manchild.

He wiped his eyes as he came to sit on the bed. It was a lot larger than N’s own, despite only being a few inches shorter than Ghetsis. His eyes scanned the room. Past the window, past the obscene amounts of clothing, past the gold-painted desk with papers scattered all over it. He came all the way back to himself.

The stuffed animal beside him was a representation of a Woobat. N lightly took it in his hands, giving it a once-over. It was a bit dirty, so it must have been one of Ghetsis’ favorites.

That was such an insult to him that he could physically feel the anger running through his veins. N’s breathing grew labored as the violent thoughts returned, picturing himself tearing the plush apart in one move. 

There was a great stabbing pain in his chest at having to think about doing that. Woobats were some of the kindest creatures on this planet, and the thought of even destroying a stuffed animal of one made him want to vomit.

Everything was so confusing and scary. He couldn’t tune out the nagging inside of him to hurt something. N had never felt like this before. 

But Ghetsis had. Ghetsis was the one who would let his emotions bring him to rage and violence, several times a week if not daily. If it wasn’t over-the-top sobbing, it was unbridled anger.

N watched his hands shake. He could not let himself do the same. He was not Ghetsis. Ghetsis was not his father. He was not the product of the monster who kept him here.

N could not let himself become Ghetsis.

He pushed himself off of the bed, placing the Woobat back down among its peers. He thought to take it with him, but its association was too painful to bear.

When N got to the foot of Ghetsis’ bed, he stood and stared once again. 

Ghetsis…coming back?

There was no way he could allow Ghetsis the satisfaction of coming back to everything the way it was.

And there was no way N could stay in a place that made him feel so much like his father.

With a decision quickly made, N knelt to the floor, a little lick of flame manifesting on the rug. When it began to spread, N stood and turned to the bed one last time, looking at all of the representations of Pokemon that did not deserve to have to be in that room.

“I’m sorry.” He said to them, before turning and booking it out of the room. 

N did not look back as he ran out of his castle. The smoke burned his eyes, and the crumbling of walls terrified him, but he kept his eyes starkly in front of him as he made his escape. 

Never again.

It was quiet for a moment, until Rosa’s voice snapped him out of his blank stare. “Wow…Hey, N, are you okay?” She lightly tapped his shoulder.

N wiped the tears from his eyes, turning back to her. “I…I will be okay.”

“Can I hug you? Would that make you feel better? I wouldn’t have asked if I knew it was gonna make you cry…”

“I would not mind a hug, no…” N frowned. “You’re willing to hug me after telling you the things I’ve done?”

“Of course I am!” She hugged him without hesitation. “Like I said, you’re my friend! And it really wasn’t that bad.”

“Wasn’t that bad? Are you sure?” N reluctantly hugged back.

“No one was in there when you started the fire, so it’s not like anyone got hurt…”

“I’ve just…never done anything like that before. That’s the only time I’ve ever felt like that. It…was one of the scariest days of my life. I never knew I had that in me…”

“Everyone gets really angry sometimes! Sometimes I have to punch my pillow if I get really frustrated.” Rosa let go of him. “You were justified anyway…anyone would feel that way if they had to live with that guy!”

“That is very kind of you to say.” N stared ahead, past the pier. “Thank you.”

The ocean stretched infinitely out from his view. It didn’t normally bother him, but the deep dive he had just undergone to relive that memory caused the sea to scare him a little.

It didn’t help matters that Ghetsis seemed to have gone into a “pirate” phase in the second iteration of Team Plasma. A giant gaudy ship, while sporting a helm-shaped cane? 

N chose to look back down at the pier. He felt like he was going to fall in if he thought about Ghetsis any fucking more today. 

“Was today the first day you went out since…” Rosa felt too awkward to finish her sentence.

“It’s the first day that I’ve left Driftveil, yes.” N rolled the ball in his pocket around in his hand. “It took that long to…feel safe enough to leave.”

“Aww…” She frowned. “You haven’t felt safe?”

“No…I don’t know how many allies Ghetsis had. There could be countless people that wish me harm because he died. People that blame me for it…even though I only saw him in the Chasm that day.” 

“No one better ever come after you!” Rosa clenched her fists. “I mean, you’ll probably destroy them with whatever super-powerful Pokemon you have now!”

“Hm? Super-powerful Pokemon?” N shook his head. 

“Well, since you gave me Zekrom, you know? I figured you’d have another tough dragon by now!”

N frowned. “No…I could never replace Zekrom. I miss them enough as it is.”

“You miss them?” Her eyebrows furrowed. “Now I feel kinda bad for letting you give them to me…I knew back then you were having a hard time with it too.”

“You were better off with Zekrom. I was very lost when that happened…” N squeezed the ball, causing Rosa to jump, though she still listened. “It had been a few days since Ghetsis died…”

“I understand…” Rosa patted his shoulder. “Do…do you think you would have given them to me? With what you know now about how you feel?”

N hesitated before speaking. “Yes. It was what I needed to do at the time. Zekrom needed someone else.”

“And what about now?”

“Huh?” He looked right at her.

“What about now?” Rosa repeated, producing the Pokeball once again.

“You’re…offering to give them back to me?”

“Sure!” She smiled. “I kind of struggle with really big Pokemon anyway…I usually just use them as, um. As transportation.”

N frowned, deciding to let her continue.

“I don’t keep them in the ball all day!” She said, nervously giggling. “But, you know…they seem bored now. I don’t have a bunch of adventuring to do like I used to. If you miss them…then I think you should just take them back!”

“That…” N pondered the offer. He really would have liked to get Zekrom back, but many feelings inside of him were telling him he’d already wasted that chance by giving them away in the first place. At least they hadn’t seemed to come to any harm with Rosa.

“I don’t know how to do that stone thing you did, so…!” Rosa planted the Pokeball in his hand. “You can just have the whole thing! I know you don’t use Pokeballs, anyway…but I ended up running out of the expensive ones by the time I caught them!”

“Zekrom…” N held the Pokeball in his hand, inspecting it. 

“I think I’ll just leave you to it!” She stood up. “I’ve been here way longer than I meant to be, anyway. I don’t mind, though!”

N stood as well, still staring at the Pokeball for a moment before turning his gaze to Rosa.

She gave him another hug. “I’ll see you later, okay? It was really nice seeing you again!”

He returned the hug slightly less apprehensively. “Yes…I suppose it was.”

With that, Rosa began to walk back into the city. 

N called out to her one last time. “Thank you!” It hurt to raise his voice.

She turned her head to him for a moment. “You’re welcome!” 

And then, she was gone.

N’s eyes went back to the Pokeball.

“Hello, old friend…” He spoke quietly, before pressing the button to finally release them.

Zekrom emerged from the Pokeball, looking around for a moment in confusion at the lack of Rosa. The moment it locked eyes on N, it let out a noise of surprise.

“Zekrom!” N cried. “Yes, it’s me!”

Zekrom lowered its head, nuzzling N gently so as to not shock him by accident. N in turn hugged his beloved dragon.

“I’m not sure if Rosa should have given you back to me…” He said while patting Zekrom on the head. “I’m happy about it, though. You’re coming home with me, Zekrom…”

Their feet tapped the pier a bit in excitement, N lightly placing his hand on them to calm them.
“I know, I know…I just worry you might accidentally smash it…” N chuckled nervously.

Zekrom nodded in understanding, before lowering themselves once again to allow him to climb on their back.

“We’ll leave in a bit…” N continued to pat them. “I told my sisters I would get them ice cream.”

With that, N made his way back to the city, Zekrom following from behind. He felt way safer with the giant electric dragon right behind him like that. As he approached the busy metropolis, his eyes were violated by a huge, incredibly bright billboard. 

It was that weird blue person again. What was up with them? N couldn’t help but think. Their eyes, though fake, seemed to pierce right into his soul, and the uncanniness bothered him. They weren’t even advertising the same product. This time, it appeared to be them modeling some kind of clothing. It was clothing that would only suit someone as ridiculously proportioned as themselves. 

It wasn’t Unovan’s beauty standards that bothered him as much as it was how false the advertising was. Things like that made him glad he didn’t live in a large city.

When the crowd grew too busy for Zekrom to fit anymore, N turned back to them.

“Stay here…I will be right over there.” He pointed at Casteliacone. 

Zekrom sat, willing to wait. N made his way back to the stand, and since it was now a bit later in the afternoon, the line wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been his previous time.

The same employee came to him, but they did not acknowledge that he had just been there. “How many?”

“2.” N thought for a moment, deciding it wouldn’t be too bad if he had another. “No, 3.”

He heard Zekrom making noises from down the street.

“Ah!” N laughed nervously. “Okay, 4, 4 should do it!”

The employee stared at him, annoyed. “400 Pokedollars.”

After handing them the money, he was given the 4 cones in a strange contraption that allowed him to hold all 4, something he had not even considered, but appreciated.

He looked up to thank them, but they were already taking someone else’s order. 

When he returned to Zekrom, he pulled one of the cones out. “This one is for you.” 

Zekrom promptly dove their head towards the ice cream, licking at the ice cream until it was gone. They were very careful not to lick N at all, while also being quick with their eating.

N giggled. “I’m glad you appreciate it.”

He then hopped onto Zekrom, now no longer having to take the train to get home. As if it were their muscle memory, they took flight, N hoping they didn’t destroy anything in the process. While Zekrom flew them home, N carefully ate his second Casteliacone while holding tightly onto the other two.

Anthea and Concordia were outside when they arrived.

“Oh!” Concordia gasped when she saw them.

“Wow!” Anthea said, her mouth open in surprise. “Did that come free with a purchase of four?”

N burst out laughing. “Of course not!”

“No, I know, I know.” She stood, walking over to them, taking a cone from him. “Didn’t you give Zekrom to that girl?”

“Yes, but…” N handed the last cone to Concordia, who wasted no time with it. “I ran into her while I was there…”

“She gave them back?!” Anthea gasped.

“Well…we talked about some things. There was a lot we had to catch up on.” N explained, trying not to get sad about it again. “I told her what happened to the castle…”

“...Oh…” Anthea frowned, patting him on the head. “I’m still sorry about leaving  you there…”

“I forgive you, please don’t worry about that.” N smiled at the pat. “She gave them back so I would feel more safe…I am happy to have them back.”

“We all missed Zekrom…” Concordia said shortly after finishing her ice cream, approaching them to give them pets. Zekrom nuzzled into her hand.

N found himself yawning. “I will leave Zekrom with you…I need to take a nap.”

“Okay!” Anthea said. “Get the rest you need…you did a lot today. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to start dinner!”

N smiled. “Thank you.”

He headed inside, trusting his sisters to keep Zekrom entertained while he napped. The sun shone brightly in his room, the sun already starting to set, with N being quite happy to remember he had a window. 

N crawled into his bed, basking in the warmth of his soft blankets. He had forgotten to take anything out of his pockets, but the fatigue made him not care whatsoever about it.

He looked over at one of his pillows, seeing an Archen plushie laying on it. It was quickly hugged tightly against him, his sleepiness not preventing him from the joy of owning his own things. No one would ever take anything from him anymore.

A few moments after shutting his eyes, N heard chirping from the window. He looked over, seeing a Woobat flying over to him.

“Hey…” He spoke to them with a tired voice. “What are you doing awake?”

They continued to chirp, landing on N’s head and settling into his hair.

“Ah…” N smiled. “Of course you can join me in my nap.”

The Woobat happily snuggled into his hair, nearly fully hidden in it.

N easily relaxed with the comfort and love of the Woobat, allowing sleep to take him.

Life was kind of nice sometimes.