Chapter Text
the devil: I have been informed by foggy i require one of my "super friends" to join me
jessie: what r u doing
the devil: there has been a cult going around breaking into homes and stealing people's stuff
jessie: and? just beat them up. that's ur whole thing isnt it?
the devil: usually i would except the majority of members appear to be minors.
jessie: o damn
jessie: k what do u want me to do
the devil: we're going undercover as their gods reincarnate in human forms
jessie: excsue me what\\
foggy: matt when i said find someone to join u on ur batshit crazy mission i meant someone stable
jessie: ok just 4 that ill join him
jessie: whens the stakeout
the devil: in two hours.
the devil: the man who made my suit will make us some good disguises
chimichangas lover: wait DD u have a stylist??
the devil: I guess you could perhaps call him that yes
3:04 AM
jessie: I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A STAKEOUT
the devil: IT WAS NOW ****ING HELP ME
jessie: HOW ARE THESE FUCKERS SO FUCKING STRONG????
the devil: I DONT KNOW WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME??
jessie: OH I DONT KNOW MAYBE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING I N V I T E D ME???
the devil: ****! ONE OF THE KIDS JUST BIT ME!
jessie: IS IT CONTAGIOUS??
the devil: THE CHILD??
jessie: OBVIOUSLY ASSHOLE
the devil: NO THATS NOT HOW CHILDREN WORK J E S S I C A
jessie: WELL HOW WOULULD *I* KNOW??
the devil: JUST STOP TEXTING AND HELP ME JESSICA I SWEAR TO GOD-
claire: sigh
claire: i'll ready the first aid kit
colleen: nvm danny this is first class entertainement
jessie: WELL FUCK YOU TOO SMALL CHILD
chimichangas lover: lol
the devil: ****! WHY ARE THEY COVERED IN GREASE??
jessie: I THINK IT'S FUCKING OLIVE OIL
the devil: OK WELL THEN WHY THE **** ARE THEY COVERED IN OLIVE OIL??
the immortal iron fist: uh
the immortal iron fist: should we do something...?
foggy: nah.
jessie: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW??
foggy: payback for not listening to me
the devil: MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE WORKING EYES JESSICA
jessie: JUST BECUASE THEY FUCKING WORK DOESNT MEAN I CAN SEE IN THE DARK ASSHOLE!
invincible: they gonna b ok?
not a karen: yea matt's got the force of unbridled catholic stubbornness on his side
the immortal iron fist: wait daredevil is *catholic*?
foggy: yea
the immortal iron fist: i feel like that's a contracdiction or smthin
the devil: FUCK WHY DO THEY HAVE TINY SWORDS??
foggy: i just don't question it at this point