Chapter Text
You blinked, remembering Satoru was sleeping in front of you. He looked peaceful, but it was obvious he wasn’t getting enough sleep. He looked like an angel, even with dark circles under his eyes. You couldn’t help but feel grateful to have someone like him around- despite the fact you didn’t feel as if you could just jump into his arms and forget your sadness. You wander a bit closer to him, your fingers tracing over the velvety arm of the couch he was curled up in. You brought your fingers over his shoulders, feeling how warm he felt- radiating there like the sun itself. But did you deserve it?
Maybe I do, I deserve to be happy again.
You bite your lip and lean forward, nudging Satoru’s shoulder gently. He inhaled sharply, jumping ever so slightly but his expression melted into a goofy lopsided smile as he looked up at you,
“Y/n, goodmorning!” he said sweetly, reaching with his hand and squeezing your hand gently. You find yourself able to smile, feeling a deep scab fall off your heart and reveal something that had been neglected for far far too long. You inhaled sharply and smiled, but it felt wrong. He was the wrong shade- he was too light.
“Good morning, Satoru,” you say gently, standing back as he stood and dusted himself off. He beamed at you and it almost hurt how quickly you felt yourself dive back into your shell.
All of this was for nothing.
You felt so disgusting and selfish- you fell apart and allowed Satoru to keep you from being checked into the hospital. He deserved something after all this? You wanted to give him everything he deserved. He was a good man, someone who deserved the white picket fence and kids- the wife and the party, all of it. He was the good kind of man, but not for you. What did you deserve? All you could do was tell him how thankful you were for his presence.
You avoided the topic of what happened all day until he finally excused himself, walking down the hallway with his tail between his legs. You didn’t have the heart to talk about anything after thanking him for showing up last night.
You felt sickened by your callous disregard for him- but you made your mind up. You couldn’t do it without the other half of the equation. You waited for him to disappear and you looked down at your phone, your hands. Everything in the apartment wasn’t even yours, really. Everything that had been yours was gutted out, along with the person who was meant to be there, picking you off the floor. You felt disappointed for the version of yourself everyone else wanted you to be. But now you could see clearly- that was never who you were.
Back when you transferred to Tokyo, and met Satoru- he was into you. But you never understood why, there was no logical reason for him to be so interested- especially since you came with Suguru. Satoru was inserting himself somewhere he didn’t belong. But then suddenly when Suguru didn’t fit the mold anymore- everyone expected you to follow suit and fall for Satoru? No one ever asked you what you thought about Satoru, or why you even talked to him. They also didn’t ask what you thought about Suguru going rogue. No one ever expected that it was you who planted the seed of dissent into his mind from the beginning? Maybe the one they should have been worried about saving the whole time was Suguru. Not you. You spent so many years reeling the perceived abandonment of Suguru, but him finding and bringing you to him after all this time- admitting things you always wanted to believe- that he didn’t leave just to leave. You stared at the ceiling from your bed for quite awhile until the sun shifted to darkness in the sky and everything had a quiet aura of stillness. Your phone rang a few times, it was Satoru- just checking up on you. You texted him back as if everything were normal, feeling raw as you allowed yourself to feel the disgust that had been under the surface the entire time- he was trying to replace Suguru.
Of course it made sense that once Suguru was deemed unfit to be with- Satoru would swiftly take his place? They were the only two considerable equals. But why was Satoru so keen on you in the first place? Was it just because he was jealous? He always wanted what he couldn’t have. You didn’t want to start hating him right away- you didn’t want to allow yourself to become so polarized so quickly off of little to no information.
Maybe he had reasons. But honestly, it didn’t matter.
You turned your cell phone off and left it on the table. You grabbed a bag and went to the trunk you kept in the bottom of your closet. Your most important relics were in it- the first picture you shared with Suguru, your keepsakes. You kept those and some favorite clothes. You kept the letters your mother wrote to you while you were locked away- the letters that reminded you this love you shared with a man wasn’t the only type of love that existed as fiercely.
Your mother and father were devoted to you- heart and soul. They were too good for this world, too good for you. Suguru had always loved them, admired them- for being so forgiving and kind. They spoke openly, they had no secrets- they laughed often and they spent their evenings together watching movies or reading together. Your home you spent your childhood in was happy and loud- but as you moved to bigger places, you fell away from that. You can’t remember the last time your mom and dad tucked you into bed and cut the light off for you. That was so long ago. You realized you had grown so old you had an equal amount of time being devoted to your parents as much as you did with him.
Then that had to be the answer- you needed to go to him. You burned everything from your childhood, watching the papers crumple to ashes the the plastics curl and sizzle in the fire. You felt a numb coat of contentment sink onto your shoulders as you decided what was actually best for you. It was him, it was always him- not this version of you that they erased him from your existence. It was cruel, wrong- and a blatant lie.
You destroyed everything that meant anything- kept everything else pristine. You wanted it to be clear what you decided. You left everything perfect- taking your tiny sack filled with your new relics and wandered into the alleys. You walked several miles, wanding towards that odd church-like building you remembered being led to. When you were finally standing outside of it, the sun was barely visible in the sky- dawn cresting the horizon. You glance up at the clear skies, everything moving almost in slow motion. When you bring your eyes back to the building, he was standing there- dressed like a priest. His expression was flacid except for the tiniest curve in his lips. His eyes danced with dark passion- delighted to see you, almost as if he were expecting you.
You didn’t need anything else. You walked to him without saying a word- your hand extended for his. He took several large steps forward, rushing into you, grabbing your hand possessively and yanking you to his chest. He clung to you like a dying man, as if you were his salvation. You wrapped your arms around his neck and clung to him just as well- he was your gospel, after all. He picked you up and carried you inside without a word, and ever since then- you started helping him to destroy the world.
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A few days went by, and people began looking for you. Suguru kept an eye on things so that you didn’t have to. He only told you what you might need to know. Your parents were freaking out, Shoko and Satoru were out looking for you. You bit your lips, feeling guilt rack your bones- but they didn’t know what was good for you. No one could decide what was good for you anymore except you and Suguru.
Falling back in with him was just as easy and natural as breathing. He had been sleeping in a priestly confine until you showed up and he presented an entire suite, filled with clothes exactly your size and anything you could ever need from a home. He even remembered all your favorite books, movies, and entertainments aside from the internet that would keep you busy. He had prepared a life for you this entire time, even if you didn’t want to partake in dismantling society. The thoughtfulness almost made you sick from how long you spent thinking he hated you, left you without a thought.
You were all he had been thinking of for the past several years.
Your first night in your new home, he presented you with a ring- made of solid obsidian and enriched with invisible runes- you gazed at it and smiled.
“Will you marry me, y/n?” he asked, kneeling down in front of you. You smile, offer your hand to him, “Of course, my love,” you answer. He smiles and slides the cool ring onto your finger.
“I made it so it will protect you- and signify you’re mine,” he says, flashing his own hand with a very similar ring on his finger. You purse your lips and smile, looking at him thoughtfully.
“What does it do?”
“First of all, if someone is going to try to manipulate you- you won’t be able to hear them. Second, I’ll be able to find you no matter what, as long as your wearing it,” he said, pulling you into his arms, gently grazing the soft flesh of your neck. You tremble, his mouth and hands paint your skin with blissful kisses and touches until your hot and pink. He takes one look at you and sweeps you into his arms in a flourish, kicking open the door to your bedchamber.
“My wife,” he moans softly as he throws you on the bed, not far behind you. Your hands reach each other before your bodies do and your immediately both trying to take each other’s clothes off as quickly as you can. You were married- just like that. You didn't need any bullshit wedding or bullshit party, or to tell anyone anything at all. Fuck them, fuck everyone else- the only two people that mattered were you two.
His lips land bruising kisses all over your throat and neck, down to your collar bones and breasts. He blesses every part of you with his mouth and soon your quivering, begging for him to just fuck you. He loved to worship you, making you have multiple orgasms before he even began to pleasure himself. Of course there were days you did the same to him- but it never got old. You two were drawn to each other like moths to a flame, yet you never burnt out- you only burned brighter.
His thick, hard cock pressed against your tight folds- slick with anticipation and precum, he pressed himself, moaning huskily as he finally allowed himself his own pleasures. You moaned softly, wrapping your thick thighs around him- crying out and moaning deeply as you make him slide deeper into your warm core. He trembles softly as he leans down to kiss you, cupping your face and uttering the most devout praises to you-
“My goddess, all mine, my wife, my world,” his voice was soft and overwhelmingly reverent. He was absolutely incapacitated by you sometimes- overwhelmed by his unwavering devotion. You both had never experienced anything like this, obsession-compulsive-possessive insanity that drove you two in circles around one another- like yin/yang you two balanced each other as easy as night and day.
“My husband, my king” you cooed back to him, arching your back and pulling him closer- digging your claws into his hot flesh.
“Mmmn- ah!’ he cried out as your nails dug into his skin, pulling him closer.
“You’re mine,” you moan as he positions himself in a more dominant position and begins to piston his hips in and out- fucking you at a steady, solid rhythm.
“N’yer mine,” he replied, his eyes widening as his pace quickens and his fingers pull you closer, digging into your soft, pretty flesh. You wanted him to leave marks, show the entire world who you belonged to.
“Mmmn!” you cry out, as he begins to wade deeper into your belly, his cock hitting the perfect spot- making the coils within you tighten to near insanity before you sputter helplessly, “Gonna cum!”
“Come f’me~” his deep voice rumbles from his chest as he glares down at you possessively as your body tightens and begins to tremble as you ride the waves of your pleasure on his fat cock, squeezing and squirting delicious juices all over him. He leaned back, moaning in pleasure as he felt every movement you made, his own pleasure beginning to arrive as he fucked you harder, closer- biting his lip in concentration as he fucked you until you came again and again until he finally came with you- screaming out your name, his eyes eating you alive while you both writhed together in mad harmony.
He collapsed beside you on the bed, drawing you into his possessive embrace. He couldn’t sleep unless you were pressed against him- and you discovered his muscular arms were the most comfortable place to dream from. Perched in heavens grasp, nothing could take from you what you already held close to your heart.
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“My parents,” you said one evening, looking at Suguru while the candlelight burned beside you as you dined together.
“Hm?” he asked, his deep baritone calming even the tiniest anxiety within you.
“I’m going to make them disappear, they are hurting too much, I can’t bear it.”
“Do you want me to-”
“No, I’ll do it. My technique is absolute and painless.”
“As you wish, my love,” he said, looking somber. He loved them too, it was not easy. But he had already murdered his own- more than that. He was killing innocents too. Anyone who didn’t matter. But to you, no one mattered. No one but him. You told him you wanted to eliminate the entire human race, but he tended to disagree- but you didn’t care. As long as you could be with him when everything was said and done. You didn’t care who was left to tend the Earth.
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You walked back to your mom and dad’s house. You had watched people come and go numerous times before you approached. When you walked up, everyone got really quiet and no one said anything as you strode up your parents’ steps and into their home. Inside they were arguing and crying with others- Satoru and Shoko were there. When you walked into the room, everyone stopped and just looked at you. Your mother sobbed and ran to you- but you held your hand up and she disappeared, your father too- just like that- they were gone. You moved to turn around and leave- but someone grabbed your arm and yanked you back. It hurt, you realized, your arm hurt. You pulled back and glared at whoever just touched you. It was Satoru, his face filled with rage- his pupils pinpointed at you. You smiled, pushing him away. He was screaming at you, but you didn’t even hear him. Shoko came forward too and you frowned, seeing the confusion and pain in her eyes- you blinked and suddenly she was gone too. Satoru stopped mid sentence and stared at the spot where Shoko once stood. You looked down at your hands, not realizing you did it- you didn’t like when you weren’t in full control. That was annoying.
His hands were on you again and you stared up into his blue pools of rage as his fingers dug into your flesh.
“Let go of me,” you said, your words filling the space and suddenly he was silent, standing with his fists clenched as you stepped backwards from him and everyone else who was in the house disappeared as well. You only left Satoru, because he was intended for Suguru to handle himself. You would never take away that from him.
You walked home and felt a piece of your chest feel lighter as you realized the only other people you did care about were gone- peacefully, easily, no pain. No one else on the Earth mattered, except for Suguru. You smiled when you got home and found him reading at his study, suddenly able to hear his voice when you couldn’t even hear your mother’s voice earlier that day.
Is this madness?
Is he all that matters?
What the fuck is wrong with me?