Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!"
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 14
The Flying Fishmonger
"That, ladies and gents, is how I defeated the wild tigers in the Amazon," Grandpa Reggie concluded.
"Awesome story, Granda Reg," Phineas complimented.
"Well, I'm sure you're going to hear plenty more fantastical stories during Gran and Gramps visit," said Lawrence.
"You know, I was thinking we could all head to the mall," Linda suggested.
"What a splendid idea," said Grandma Winifred. "I'd love to treat Candace to some new clothes."
Candace beamed. "I'll be in the…" She dashed away at the last part, leaving nothing but a dusty image. "...car."
"Hey Mom, can we stay home and hear more of Grandpa's cool stories?" Phineas asked.
"Sounds good to me," Linda replied. "See you boys later."
Linda, Lawrence, and Winifred left.
"My boy, what's this behind your ear?" Reggie asked.
He pulled out a scrapbook out from behind Ferb's ear, impressing both him and Phineas.
"How'd you do that?" asked Phineas.
"It's just a little bit of 'How's your father'," Reggie explained. "I may seem like a barmy ol' git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tooth, I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of daring-do."
Phineas turned to Ferb. "Uh, did you get any of that?"
"He did a bunch of cool stuff when he was younger," Ferb translated.
Reggie opened the scrapbook and showed some photos of his younger self. "Here I am as a young lad. I made my living work at the family Fish and Chips shop, but I was destined for bigger things. I was known as the Great Flying Fishmonger." He turned the page to reveal a picture of him riding on a motorcycle, launching himself off a ramp, and flying over a group of women drinking tea. "Here's my first jump over my dear Mum's tea society." He then showed other pictures of other stunts he pulled. "Me jumping a whale, a ton of crumpets, the Queen, but there was one jump that haunts me to this day, McGregor's Gorge of Doom. People turned out by the thousands to witness me and my trusty motorbike, the Holy Mackerel, make our biggest jump yet. The event was so massive, I hired a local band to write me a theme song, though it wasn't exactly a toe-tapper. Then all of a sudden, it started to rain. I had to postpone my great feat. A second go at it weeks later had the same results, and yet another attempt, nothing but blasted rain again. Over the years, my eyesight went, and with Lumbago, Sciatica, Bursitis, and Trick Knee, jumping McGregor's Gorge is an intention lost to the past."
"Wow," said Phineas. "So whatever happened to the Holy Mackerel?"
"She's right over there," Reggie replied, pointing at the motorcycle. "Although I see your mother turned her into a lamp."
Phineas smiled. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today."
A moment later, Phineas broke the ground of his own backyard to create a replica of McGregor's Gorge.
"According to Grandpa's photo, we are on track," he said.
Then Isabella came in. "Hey Phineas, whatcha doin'?"
"Hey Isabella. We're helping Grandpa Reg fulfill his crushed dreams."
"Where's Ferb?"
"He's in the garage restoring the Mackerel."
"Cool. Well, I brought this cute little toy over for Perry." Isabella showed the cute squeaky toy. "Where is he?"
"I don't know."
Perry was in his lair awaiting instructions from Monogram. He wasn't on screen. Carl eventually appeared.
"Hey, Agent P," he said. "Monogram's thrown his back out…"
"I'm on the floor, Agent P," came Monogram as he raised his hand.
"So I'll be giving you your assignment." Carl grabbed a piece of paper.
"Do a closeup."
Carl pushed a button, causing the screen to zoom way too close to his face. "Doofenshmirtz has been purchasing some suspicious items: bags of sand, an extra long shoelace, we know he's up to no good. Go get him, Agent P."
Perry left to accomplish his mission.
"How was that?" Carl asked.
"Just give me my pills, Carl," Monogram ordered.
"What's all the kerfuffle, lads?" Reggie asked as he walked into the backyard with his eyes closed.
"You can open your eyes, now," said Phineas.
Reggie opened his eyes, and he couldn't believe them. "Blimey! It's McGregor's Gorge and the Holy Mackerel! Boys, you restored my private joy, but I can't operate a motorbike in my condition."
"No problem. Ferb's tricked out the entire bike. Lumbar support, padded seating, ergonomic controls, and the best part, sidecars. As much as we want to help you fulfill your dream, we also really want to jump a gorge."
"Then you'll come with me. The Flying Fishmongers shall jump again!"
"Oh my dear, you look like a queen," Winifred cheered as she admired Candace in a blue dress.
"Can we get out of here now before someone I know sees me?" Candace asked.
"Candace?" asked a familiar voice.
Candace turned to see Jeremy right there. She froze.
"I almost didn't recognize you," Jeremy admitted. "I gotta meet my mom in the food court, so I'll see you later."
Candace waved goodbye.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Perry tried to sneak into the building through the backdoor. That plan failed when Doof peaked out.
"Just come in," he said as he led Perry in. "Into MY TRAP!"
Perry didn't notice the trap until too late.
"Sticky flypaper!" Doof laughed. "Quick story, back in Drusselstein in the days of my youth, there was a bully named Boris who always wore big black boots. They called him Big Black Boots Boris the Bully. He always kicked sand in my face. When I was in the sandbox, sand. My first date, sand. Balancing my checkbook, sand! The beach, oddly enough, nothing, but I couldn't relax because I kept waiting for it. Now, he will be the one doing the waiting. Behold…" He pushed a button, causing the roof to open and unleash a giant flying boot and bucket. "The Now-Who's-Blinded-By-Sand-inator, or the Who's-Crying-Now-inator, something with the inator suffix! Either way, it's a giant sand-kicking machine. You see, Perry the Platypus, Boris has moved to the Tri-State Area so now I'm gonna cover his entire house in sand!"
Doof laughed maniacally as he directed the inator towards Boris' house.
Baljeet was in the middle of downtown wearing a fish costume.
"Come see the Flying Fishmongers jump McGregor's Gorge!" he said as he handed fliers to passing bystanders. "Tell your friends!"
That's when Buford showed up.
"Do you know how dumb you look?" he asked.
"I thought it would be a good way to get more attention," Baljeet replied.
"I like your outfit, it's so cute," a random boy said to Baljeet.
Buford was completely dumbfounded.
A moment later, Buford was wearing a similar fish suit handing fliers right next to Baljeet.
"Gorge jump!" they said together. "Fishmongers fly again!"
Candace and the others walked downtown and passed a TV repair shop.
"Come see the Flying Fishmonger jump the gorge live," an announcer on the window screen said.
Candace turned to the screen and saw the gorge.
"That's our yard!" she recognized. "Mom, I need you to see this!"
She grabbed Linda and carried her to the screen.
"Sponsored by Gorgeous Cream Pore Paste," said the announcer.
"Honey, your pores aren't that big," Linda assured.
"And now, what you've all come to see," Phineas announced. "The Flying Fishmongers!"
The crowd cheered.
"And here to play the Fishmonger's Anthem are Isabella and the Fireside Girls!" Phineas continued. "Hit it!"
"He's a fishmonger, and he flies," the girls sang.
Suddenly, it started to rain.
"Well, me boy, looks like I'll never get to fulfill my dream," Reggie sighed.
"Guys, you can stop now," Phineas told the girls.
The singing stopped, and so did the rain.
"Wait, start again," Phineas ordered.
The girls started singing again, and the rain came back.
"Hey, Isabella, crank it up a notch!" Phineas requested.
"Okey-dokey," said Isabella. "Are you ready girls?"
Play "The Flying Fishmonger"
Fireside Girls:
Holy, Holy Mackerel
Holy, Holy Mackerel
Holy, Holy Mackerel
Holy, Holy Mackerel
The rain faded away.
Phineas:
He's bald on top, he's got an artificial hip
He's gonna take a hop, he's gonna take a trip
He's weak in the knees and he can't find his keys
But put your hands together 'cause he's here to please
He's a flying fishmonger
He's a flying fishmonger
He's a flying fishmonger with nerves of steel
He's got an old blender motor and a pair of wheels
End "The Flying Fishmonger"
Phineas, Ferb, and Reggie got on the motorcycle. Reggie started the engine. They rode down the ramp and leapt into the air.
Then the cycle started plummeting straight down.
"Maybe we should've let it rain," said Reggie.
"Don't worry, we have a backup plan," said Phineas. "Ferb?"
Ferb pulled a lever. A pair of wings appeared and flew back up. Unfortunately, one of the wings hit a branch and broke off.
They flew far away from the house. They landed on the roof of a train.
They managed to get off the train before they could hit the low tunnel.
They started plummeting into the river. Ferb used the other wing to make a small boat.
They reached shore and launched higher into the air.
They landed safely back in the backyard.
"Good show, me boy!" Reggie cheered.
Doof reached Boris' house.
"Time to kick a little sand," he said. "Don't you think, Perry the Platypus?"
Perry had just taken off shoes that looked exactly like his feet.
"What?" Doof reacted before seeing the socks Perry was wearing. "Tube socks? What is this, 1974? Well, it's too late now."
Doof pushed the button on the remote. Perry jumped onto him.
"Thank you, lads, for helping this old codger fulfill his dream," Reggie thanked.
That's when Candace came in. "Ha, you guys are so busted! This is better than I thought! There's no way you're gonna get out of this one!"
"Cut it out, Perry the Platypus!" Doof yelled as he kept the remote out of Perry's reach.
Perry managed to smack the remote out of Doof's hands. It just fell out of the vehicle onto the ground below.
That's when the boot kicked the sand-bucket. The wind just blew the sand back towards Doof.
"Ah come on!" he whined.
The boot broke off of the machine. It hit nearby dirt trucks, causing the chasm in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard to fill up with dirt.
Perry used his hang glider to fly off while Doof's ship crashed.
"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Doof shouted.
"I must say, I love the new anthem," Reggie said. "But I do miss the old one. Couldn't I hear it one last time?"
"You got it, Grandpa," Phineas replied as he and the rest opened up some umbrellas. "Hit it, girls!"
The girls sang the old anthem one last time as they walked out of the backyard. It started to rain once more. The water allowed the lost grass in the yard to regrow.
"These two have really done it this time!" Candace said as she led Linda into the backyard. "Look what they did to the backyard!"
"Wow, you made the lawn look great!" said Linda, leaving Candace confused. "Well done. What else did you do today?"
"Well, these two roister-doisters wheeled out me old iron, built a cracking match of McGregor's gorge, and helped this daft ol' git have one last knees-up," said Reggie.
Phineas turned to Ferb for a translation.
"I have absolutely no idea," was all Ferb said.