Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 20
Leave the Busting to Us
Candace was watching the TV trying to find something entertaining. It wasn't working well for her because she couldn't take her mind off of one thing. Her brothers.
Ever since the summer started, every day has played out exactly the same. The boys build something, Perry disappears, Candace tries to bust the boys, the item disappears before Linda comes home, Perry returns, and Ferb says some random one-liner that ties in to whatever conversation he and Phineas are having. Candace's life was just a bad sitcom.
"Do you live in the Danville area and want to bust your brothers?" asked an announcer on a TV commercial.
That peaked Candace's interest.
"Yes yes," she replied excitedly.
"Then call now and you can be on the next episode of… 'Bust 'Em'."
Play "Bust 'Em" Theme Song
When you're bothered by your brothers
And you can't convince your mother
And you don't think you can take another day
Don't swear cause they got your back against the wall
And you think you tried it all
There's a number you should call to throw them underneath the bus
Just leave the busting to us
End Theme Song
Candace dialed the number on screen.
"Hello, Bust 'Em?" she said. "Do I have a show for you?"
Outside, Phineas and Ferb were standing in the backyard.
"Bright, clear, and sunny," Phineas said before he licked his finger. The saliva evaporated in an instant. "Yep, it's gonna be a hot one. Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today."
"Well, I'm off to my cooking class," Linda told the kids. "You kids keep cool today."
Right after Linda drove away, a large truck pulled into the driveway.
"Good, our stuff is here," Phineas said.
"Already?" Candace reacted. She then noticed another vehicle with the 'Bust 'Em' logo on it pull up as well. "You boys keep doing whatever."
Phineas has a bad feeling about this.
"That seemed oddly out of character," he said. "Hey, where's Perry?"
Perry entered the bathroom and put on his hat.
Perry
Perry turned on the shower. He allowed himself to be sent down the drain.
It led him to his secret lair. He quickly dried up before sitting down.
"Morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "It's a beautiful day in the Tri-State Area, just the kind of day that makes Doctor Doofenshmirtz a little verklempt. That's why your mission is…"
The signal faded.
All Perry could hear from there was, "Sky… weather… rain… Doofenshmirtz. Uh, we're breaking up. Let me call you on the landline."
The landline rang. Perry answered.
"So, just to recap," came Monogram's voice. "Sky, weather, rain, Doofenshmirtz."
Perry saluted.
"Are you Candace?" the host asked.
"Yes," Candace replied, a bit nervous.
"Get in. We're from the TV show."
Candace got in the van.
"My name is Lulu Jones and this is my assistant, Fifi," the host introduced.
"So you think you can bust my brothers?" Candace asked.
"She's so cute, isn't she, Fifi?"
"Yes, she is," Fifi replied.
"You see, Candace, busting is my middle name," said Lulu. "It's actually my name, Lulu 'Busting' Jones. I was born for this job."
"You have no idea what my brothers are capable of," Candace warned.
"Believe me, I know. That's why I created this show. My brothers used to drive me crazy. Let me tell you a story, the story of BUST and THEM. BUST fights THEM, THEM fights back, it's the age-old struggle, but in the end, THEM always wins. Oh wait, BUST always wins. Point is, I feel your pain. Mom never believed they were the ones breaking the plates or scratching the records."
"My brothers don't break plates or scratch records."
"Whatever they're doing, we'll get them. Our crew has cameras covering every square inch of your backyard. Basically, if a squirrel breaks wind, we'll have it on tape."
Lulu gestured to the monitors. They were all static.
"Fifi, none of these cameras are working," Lulu scolded.
"Actually, camera eight is working fine," Fifi corrected.
Camera eight showed a squirrel breaking wind.
"Your show must be very popular, huh?" Candace asked.
"I mean, we're having some problems with our ratings right now," said Lulu. "Our station is threatening to pull the plug, but with an episode like this, it'll never happen. Gimme one."
Lulu brought out her fist. Candace didn't know what that meant.
"A what?" she asked.
"A 'Bust 'em'!" Lulu explained.
Candace fist-bumped Lulu.
"Bust 'em, bust 'em, bust 'em!" they both cheered.
"They might be done anyway," Candace said.
"Done with what?" Lulu asked.
"It's different every time. I'll show you."
Lulu didn't know what she was expecting to see in the backyard, but it definitely wasn't what she was seeing at that moment.
"So, what are we supposed to be looking at?" Fifi asked.
Candace pointed at the contraption. The moment Fifi laid eyes on it, she collapsed.
"So, what do you think?" Candace asked.
"I think we have our very special episode!" Lulu shouted.
The thing Phineas and Ferb built was a giant water slide in the backyard.
"Hey, Candace!" Phineas greeted from above. "What do you think of the water slide?"
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Perry tried to swing in through the open window, which Doofenshmirtz was conveniently standing next to.
Except it wasn't a window. It was just a portrait.
The real Doofenshmirtz appeared at the actual window.
"Ha, Perry the Platypus!" he laughed. "I can't believe you fell for that fake window trick!"
Doof was proven wrong when Perry swung in through the real window and kicked Doof in the nose. He quickly looked out to see that the first Perry was a fake.
"I can't believe I fell for the fake Perry the Platypus bit," he said. "That was pretty good, Perry the Platypus, I'll give you props for that one."
Doof gave Perry another tally mark on the board to add onto his millions of points.
"You might be wondering about that hat," Doof said as he gestured to the hat he was wearing. "It's part of my new magic kit. Ever since the seventh grade, I wanted to be a magician. It was a pretty tough road.
Flashback
Back in the seventh grade, Doof did a magic show in front of a small audience.
His first trick was pulling the rabbit out of the hat. Instead of a rabbit, a skunk came out. The skunk sprayed everyone in the crowd.
The second trick was guessing the card chosen by a lucky contestant. Instead of a card, he grabbed another skunk.
By the time Doof got to the third trick, everyone already left, leaving him tied up.
End of Flashback
"I guess my dreams faded into sepia tone somewhere along the way," Doof said. "Oh, Perry the Platypus, your shoes are untied."
Perry looked down at his feet. The floor around him closed, trapping him in a cube.
"Before you go, I'd like to introduce you to the Gloominator 3000!" Doof announced. Perry's trap shook. "What's that? Is that morse code or, 'Oh, that sounds manly and threatening? What does it do?' I'll tell you if you stop bugging me. With this, I will launch thousands of weather pellets into the atmosphere, thereby plunging the Tri-State Area into a new ice age, but before I do that, I shall finally make Perry the Platypus disappear!"
Doof covered Perry's trap in a tarp, then removed it. Much to his surprise, it actually disappeared.
"Huh," he remarked. "I guess I should've stuck with the magic business after all."
Candace saw Phineas, Ferb, and their friends getting on a large raft.
"Hey, Candace," Phineas said. "Wanna be part of our maiden voyage?"
"There is no way I'm gonna be your guinea pig!" Candace yelled.
"Candace, we need you to get on that ride with this secret camera," Lulu said as she gave Candace a helmet with a not-so-secret camera. "Go get that footage and leave the busting to us."
Candace got on the raft with everyone else.
"Okay, make sure your life vests are safely fastened," Phineas said. "Oh, and in case we capsize, your seat cushions can function as a headstone." Phineas noticed Candace's helmet and took it off. "And it's better you don't have any electronics on the ride."
Before Candace could protest, the raft was launched high into the air. They landed on a small slide that carried them slowly and steadily.
"Come on, that wasn't too bad, was it?" Phineas asked.
"Actually, it kinda was," Candace admitted.
Before she could say anymore, the raft reached the end of the slide, where they fell towards a spiky pit.
Surprisingly, all the sharp objects were fake. They just bounced off of it and landed safely in the backyard.
"It's over, right?" Candace asked.
Everyone laughed at Candace's question, except Ferb, who kept his straight face like always.
Before Candace could ask why the kids were laughing, they were all ejected from the raft.
Play "Gotta Make Summer Last"
The kids flew into a volcano. They all landed on separate slides.
Summer, I love summer
Give me that summer time
Candace managed to stop herself at the edge of the slide. She sighed in relief.
Then the kids hit her from behind.
Summer, every 86,400 seconds that pass
I gotta make summer last
End "Gotta Make Summer Last"
The kids landed in a large pool.
"Wanna go again?" Phineas asked Candace.
"Are you crazy?!" Candace screamed.
Lulu stepped in and covered Candace's mouth.
"She'd love to," she said before turning to Candace. "We need that footage if you want to bust them. We disguised the camera this time. Don't lose it."
Lulu put a cowboy hat on Candace's head. This time, the camera was better hidden, though the lens was still shown.
Doof got on a hot air balloon and took off. He inserted a couple of pellets into the Gloominator and launched them into the air. They formed a small tornado.
"Perfect!" he said. "Now for the real thing."
Doof inserted more pellets into the machine.
Perry climbed out of Doof's hat and jumped onto the pellets.
"Perry the Platypus?" Doof reacted.
Perry launched a rabbit out of the hat. Doof smiled.
"Bobo the Bunny, where have you been?" he asked. "I've been looking for you since the seventh grade."
Perry launched even more rabbits out of the hat. Their weight brought the balloon down.
Meanwhile, a farmer and his wife were at an empty bunny farm.
"I can't believe you bought a bunny farm and didn't buy any bunnies," the wife chastised. "What did you think, a bunch of bunnies would just fall out of the sky?"
Right as she said that, she got buried in bunnies.
"Looks like someone owes me an apology," said the farmer.
"So, Lulu, did we get any footage?" Candace asked.
"Did we?" Lulu replied as she gestured to the monitors. All of them had footage of the water park in all its glory. "Now we need you to call your mom for the big confrontation scene and I'll call the station manager."
Candace called Linda. It only took one ring before Linda answered.
"Hey, Candace, what took you so long?" she asked.
"Let's just say, this time, it's gonna be different," Candace replied.
"Sir, you should come over here right away," Lulu said to her manager on the phone. "This will be our best show ever, I guarantee it!"
Doof was continuing to run from Perry. At some point, Doof found a bike and grabbed it, not caring that it belonged to a kid.
Perry noticed a nearby girl skateboarding. He offered her twenty bucks in exchange for the board. The girl accepted the deal with no hesitation.
"This is great," said Lulu. "I can smell that second season pickup."
They heard the sounds of a biker and skateboarder passing by.
"What was that?" Lulu asked.
When the girls weren't looking, a tornado popped up and destroyed the water park.
Right after that happened, Linda and the station manager arrived.
"Candace, what's going on?" Linda asked. "Who are these people?"
"Mom, we're gonna be on TV!" Candace explained. "I can finally prove everything!"
"I'm talking ratings dynamite, sir," Lulu told her manager as she led him to the backyard. "Tell me that's not ratings dynamite!"
"That's not ratings dynamite," said the manager. "That's a suburban backyard."
"I don't understand!" Lulu shouted. "Where did it go?"
At this point, Candace was unfazed.
"Welcome to my world," was all she said.
"Wait, the tapes!" Lulu shouted. "The evidence is in the van!"
The two fist-bumped each other and cheered, "Bust 'em, bust 'em, bust 'em!"
The two ran to the van.
"Do you get that a lot?" the manager asked Linda.
"Pretty much every day," Linda replied.
"How can you put up with it every day?"
"You get used to it."
Candace and Lulu ran to the curb, only to realize the van wasn't there.
Doof drove the Bust 'Em van to get away from Perry.
"So nice of them to leave the keys inside," Doof said.
Perry continued to chase Doof until he reached a red light. Doof ran the red light, while Perry stopped.
"That's what you get for being a goody two-shoes!" Doof shouted. "Now I can get away!" Doof realized too late that he was driving into a tornado. "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"
Perry skateboarded back home.
Agent P
"Hey, boys," Linda greeted. "Did you stay cool today?"
"Hi, Mom," Candace muttered, knowing what would happen next.
"Hi, Mom," said Phineas.
"Oh, there you are Perry."
"Oh, there you are, Perry."
"And Ferb says…"
"And that is why I'll never wear suspenders in public," Ferb said.
"And now for snacks?" Candace asked.
"Why don't you kids come in for some pie?" Linda asked.
"Sure, I could use some."
Later, Candace and Lulu were sitting in the backyard eating some pie.
"Now welcome to my world," Candace told Lulu. "How's that pie?"
Lulu gave a thumbs-up.
Doof was still flying around the tornado. He was getting dizzy.
"Wait, I think I'm supposed to turn into the skid," he realized.
Doof tried just that. Good news, he was out of the twister. Bad news, he was falling at over a hundred miles an hour.
The same farmer and wife from earlier were now at an empty car store parking lot.
"I can't believe you sold our lucrative bunny farm and bought a van rental place, and you didn't buy a single van!" the wife yelled. Right as she said that, a van was coming down from the sky. "Not one word."
CRASH!