Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 28
Fireside Girl Jamboree
"Good morning, Danville!" said the announcer on the radio. "Excitement's in the air today as we await the announcement of the Paisley Sideburn Brothers' first concert visit to the Tri-State Area. Phone lines are clogged and websites are crashing as local music fans try to get first crack at the hottest concert tickets of the decade!"
Candace was on her computer trying to get tickets for the concert. She woke up really early, so she was out of it.
She fell asleep on the keys for a split second. When she bolted awake, some of the keys stuck to her face, then fell off in a certain rhythm.
That's when she heard noises coming from outside. She looked out the window to see Phineas and Ferb carrying pieces of something into the backyard.
"Hey, isn't it a bit early to start building one of your contraptions?" she asked.
"What, this?" Phineas asked as he and Ferb tossed the pieces into a dumpster. "We're still cleaning up from yesterday."
A garbage truck pulled up and picked up the trash.
"That's the last of it, guys, thanks!" Phineas said as the truck left. He then turned to Candace. "It was our biggest project ever. How could you miss it?"
"I was kinda busy," Candace replied. She turned around when she heard the phone ring. She answered, knowing it was Stacy. "Stacy, what's up?"
"My ticket is in Row R!" Stacy squealed. Candace had to move the phone away from her ear. "Close enough to smell them! What did you get?"
"How'd you get a ticket?" Candace asked.
"That's right folks," said the announcer on the radio. "Unless you had your head sticking out of a window, you know those tickets just went on sale and sold out in thirteen seconds flat. That's right, sold out, but you still might be able to catch this special added benefit concert tonight at the Fireside Girls Jamboree."
Candace hurried onto the Fireside Girls website. It read, 'Fireside Girls Only! Please enter your patch #.'
Candace tried to guess the right numbers. None of them were right. She exceeded her log-in attempts.
"Phineas!" she shouted.
Phineas and Ferb came in. Ferb had Perry in his arms. They both looked disappointed.
"What is it, Candace?" Phineas asked.
"Your friend, Isabella," Candace replied. "She's a Fireside Girl, right? What's her patch number?"
"I don't know, but I can ask her when she gets back from her meeting at the lodge."
"Lodge, you're taking me down there, now."
Candace grabbed Phineas and ran out.
Ferb realized he wasn't holding Perry.
"Hey, where's Perry?" he asked.
Perry entered the living room, put on his hat, and jumped. The floorboard opened, and he went under.
He landed in the basement. He realized his mistake and went back upstairs.
He found the correct floorboard and jumped.
This time, he landed in his lair.
"Morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "We're not sure what Doofenshmirtz is up to, but we're sending you to his lab, and we're using this new transporter device we've been working on. It's not approved for testing on humans yet, so you get to try it out first. Good luck, Agent P. Carl, fire!"
Perry did not like what Monogram just said. Before he had any time to react, however, he was hit with the device.
Phineas and Ferb brought Candace to the Fireside Girl lodge.
"Yes, it's true that the Paisley Sideburn Brothers tickets can only be ordered by an active-duty Fireside Girl," Isabella confirmed. "But if you just want to..."
"Tell you what, I'm joining up," Candace announced. "Set me up, sister."
"Okay, I hereby nominate Candace Flynn into membership in the Loyal Sisterhood of Fireside Girls."
"I second!" two girls shouted in unison. "Jinx!"
No one noticed Perry appearing in the lodge for a split second.
"Alright, girls, come to order," Isabella told the girls before turning to Candace. "Now, just fill out this application, read through the training manual, sign the insurance waivers, and you can be sworn in at our meeting next week."
"Next week?" Candace reacted. "That's too late."
"I'm sorry, but the traditional procedure comes straight from the Fireside Rules of Order as established by our founder, Eliza M. Fireside."
Isabella gestured to the woman in the picture.
"That's a stupid rule," Candace remarked.
To Candace's surprise, the portrait sprung to life.
"You watch your mouth, young lady!" Eliza scolded.
"Who puts a picture frame on a window?" Candace asked.
"Is there anything Ferb and I can do to help?" Phineas asked. "Candace really wants to go to that concert."
"Candace, if you really don't want to be a Fireside Girl, then…" Isabella was about to say.
"No, I do!" Candace interrupted. "I gotta get to that concert!"
"Candace, you're not listening to me. You don't…"
"Ah, forget it! I thought Fireside Girls were supposed to help people!"
Candace was about to leave. She was blocked by Eliza, who somehow went from her portrait to the front door in a matter of seconds.
"There is another way," she said. "Isabella, please read Article Nine, Section Charlie, Footnote Six."
Isabella turned to that section and read it aloud. "'A troop leader may award full Fireside Girl status to any girl who has earned fifty patches.' But, Ms. Fireside, fifty patches in one day? Is that even possible?"
"It depends on how badly she wants it."
"Bring it on," Candace said.
"Alright, we just need to get you a cadette uniform and we can get started," Isabella said.
"Okay, where can I buy one?"
All the girls laughed.
Before Candace knew it, she was sewing her own uniform. She accidentally pricked her finger on the needle.
"Ouch!" she cried.
Perry teleported once again. It looked like the right place.
That's when Monogram called him on his watch.
"Uh, Agent P," he said. "We've teleported you three feet too far to the right."
Perry started falling to the ground. Thankfully, he had his grappling hook with him. He managed to grapple back up to the top of the building.
Perry
Perry accidentally pushed a button on the floor. He noticed a trap coming down from above. He managed to jump out of the way just in time.
"Perry the Platypus?" Doof said. "Do you realize how much trouble it is to set a trap, and for what, you just jump out of the way?"
Monogram called Perry again. "Ah, here we go. We recalibrated the teleporter."
Perry teleported into the cage.
"I don't know what just happened, but I like it," Doof remarked. "Now, with you safely inside the cave, I can unveil my new device of doom."
Doof pushed a button on his remote to reveal his new inator.
"Behold, the Metal-destruct-inator!" Doof announced.
Candace finally finished sewing her uniform. On the plus side, she got her first patch by doing that, but it was still tiring. It didn't help that she had forty-nine more to go.
"Fifty patches in one day?" Candace asked. "Where do I start?"
"By combining the shortest linear distance with the highest population density, we plotted a course for you that optimized for the greatest number of patch-acquiring opportunities in the shortest period of time," Phineas explained.
Later, the Flynn-Fletcher siblings were on top of a hill as Ferb continued to showcase the plan on a blueprint.
"Then, after you wrestle the crocodile, you'll corkscrew through the overpass and freefall past the flaming high wire to make your last delivery and receive your last patch," Phineas said. "You got it?"
"Is all that really necessary?" Candace asked.
"We're gonna need you to plant one of these markers at the site of each task," Phineas showed Candace the markers. "That way the girls can track your progress. Now, is Candace Gertrude Flynn your full legal name?"
"Yes."
"Great, you just earned your honesty patch," Isabella said as she gave Candace the patch.
"That was easy," Candace remarked as she put down a marker. "Let's do another one."
"Ooh, I think you just earned your enthusiasm patch."
"Wow, three down, forty-eight to go." Candace put down another marker. "Yippee, this is easy!"
"Okay," Phineas said. "Fifteen senior citizens need help crossing a street that's fifty feet across."
"Goody, I'm great at word problems."
"No, there's actually fifteen senior citizens that need help crossing the street. Good luck, Candace, don't forget your helmet."
Before Candace knew it, she was sent down a ramp in roller skates. She barely managed to put on her helmet mid-fall.
Candace picked up a stop sign and skated across the crosswalk. The cars all stopped, allowing the citizens to cross.
Play "Go Candace"
After that, Candace carved a wooden totem pole with herself, Phineas, and Ferb's faces.
Go Candace, go go Candace
Go Candace, go go Candace
Next, Candace juggled ice cream cones.
Go Candace, go go Candace
Go Candace, go go Candace
Then, Candace climbed a steep mountain.
Go Candace, go go Candace
Candace got two patches in a row by being chased by bulls and bullies.
Go Candace, go go Candace
Go Candace, go go Candace
Candace then got three patches in a row by riding a ski lift, falling onto the top of a ferris wheel, and discovering something that doesn't exist (a leprechaun's pot of gold with a unicorn-turtle hybrid inside).
Go
End "Go Candace"
After that montage, Candace was brought into the sewer.
"Here you go, Candace," Phineas said. "Wrestling an alligator in a sewer."
"Alligator, you're going down," Candace said.
Candace jumped and tackled the alligator. The alligator resisted. Candace put up a fight. The fight lasted longer than anyone expected.
"This is putting us way off schedule," Phineas said.
"So, let me explain my new evil scheme," Doof said. "A while back, my doctor put me on a low-carb diet, but I still can't lose those last ten pounds." Doof opened his shirt to reveal his gut, disgusting Perry. "Every time I get close to my goal, there's this knocking at the door."
Flashback
Earlier that day, Doof was running on a treadmill when he heard the doorbell ring. He got off the treadmill to answer.
"Who is it?" he asked.
In front of him were two little girls in girl scout uniforms.
"Fireside Girls," one of them said. "Would you like to buy some of our cupcakes?"
"I really shouldn't," Doof said. "I'm almost at my…"
"We understand."
Doof couldn't resist. He took the cupcakes and gave the girls his money. "Alright, you talked me into it! Shut up and take my money!"
End of Flashback
"So, with my weakness for high-carb sweets, there's really no other choice but to get rid of the bridge to the Fireside cupcake factory," Doof said. "And my Metal-destruct-inator can turn any metal object into broccoli. I know what you're thinking, 'Why broccoli?' It's healthy. It's the opposite of what I'm trying to get… it's poetic justice… no, not justice, evil! It's poetically evil! Now to make some last minute adjustments."
Perry noticed a screw that wasn't fully screwed into the floor. He quickly started to unscrew it.
Candace finally put the gator in its place.
"What's next?" she asked as they climbed out of the sewer.
"We're behind schedule," Phineas said. "You can finish the rest by getting your cupcake-delivery patch."
"Sounds easy enough."
"Well, you have to deliver all these cupcakes." Phineas gestured to a large truck that dumped cupcake containers onto a small tram. "Don't worry. We've built you a rollercoaster delivery system."
They got on the coaster.
"Quédense sentados, por favor," Phineas said.
"Are you speaking Spanish?" Candace asked before the coaster started.
The coaster moved at fast speeds, only slowing down when reaching people's homes. This gave Candace a few seconds to make a delivery and collect some money.
While on a downgrade, some bugs flew onto Candace's face.
"Bug-collecting patch, check," Phineas said.
"I'm gonna hurl!" Candace screamed.
"Motion sickness patch, check!"
Candace noticed the Paisley Sideburn Brothers tour bus.
"We gotta hurry!" she said.
She used a cannon to shoot cupcake boxes towards random people.
Perry finally got the screw removed. He used his tail to catapult the screw into Doof's eye. He inadvertently redirected the cannon and hit the cage.
The metal components of the cage turned into broccoli. Perry leaped into the air and kicked Doof in the face.
Doof grabbed Perry and threw him to the ground.
Unfortunately, Perry teleported behind Doof and grabbed him by the hair.
Doof redirected the cannon again.
The cannon fired, hitting a rollercoaster track.
The coaster turned into broccoli. Candace and the kids fell. Thankfully, they were saved by the long amount of broccoli.
"Woo-hoo, that was fun!" Phineas shouted.
"Fun?" Candace reacted. "Are you crazy? How did a rollercoaster turn into broccoli, and why broccoli? That doesn't make sense!"
Phineas finally ran out of patience.
"Candace, focus!" he yelled. "You still have five minutes, and the last stop is twenty blocks away! Good luck, 'cause we're not helping you this time!"
"I can do this," Candace convinced herself as she ran off.
Despite his frustration, Phineas couldn't help but feel a little proud.
"Now that's persistence," he remarked.
Candace made it to the building with three minutes to spare. She planned to go up to the thirty-eighth floor using the elevator. Unfortunately, it was out of order. Thankfully, the stairway wasn't too far away.
"Alright, step-aerobics," she said to herself. "Don't fail me now."
Candace ran up the stairs as fast as she could.
Perry climbed on top of the inator and turned the cannon towards himself. When it fired, Perry disappeared, resulting in the inator hitting itself. It turned into broccoli.
"Curse you, Perry the…" Doof was about to say before the doorbell rang.
Doof answered the door.
"Fireside Girl," said the girl at the door. "Here's your order of cupcakes."
"Aren't you a little old to be a Fireside Girl?" Doof asked.
"Yes, yes I am."
Candace made it back to the lodge.
"Candace, we're all very impressed," Isabella said. "You earned more patches in one day than anyone in the history of Fireside Girls. Fifty patches, which blows away the previous record of six patches held by our very own Addison Sweetwater."
"Ah, nuts!" Addison yelled.
"Here's your ticket to the Paisley Sideburn Brothers concert," Eliza said as she handed Candace her ticket.
At the concert, Candace was cheering for the band.
"Woo!" Phineas cheered.
Candace just realized Phineas and Ferb were there.
"Wait, how did you get in here?" she asked.
"Isabella invited us," Phineas replied. "She's allowed to bring guests, you know."
"That's what I kept trying to tell you, Candace," Isabella added. "But you were so insistent on becoming a Fireside Girl. Maybe you can start working on your good listener patch next."