Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 49
Brain Drain
Phineas and Ferb got a surprise case of the cold.
"Okay, boys," said Linda. "I'm off to the store to get as much 'Mucus Be Gone' as I can. Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"No worries, Mom," Phineas assured. "We'll be perfectly fine."
"Alright, bye."
The moment Linda left the room, Candace came in.
"Oh, you guys really are sick," she realized, a bit concerned.
"You know us," Phineas replied before sneezing. "Nothing can keep us down."
Candace suddenly got excited. "That's great! You guys are completely incapacitated! I have the whole day to myself! I could spend all day on my scrapbook, or I can go to the mall and watch Jeremy working from my hiding place! This is gonna be the best sick day ever, for me!"
Candace slammed the door.
"Best sick day ever, huh?" Phineas thought before coughing. "Alright, Ferb, implement our sick day video game backup system."
Ferb pushed a button, bringing down a large screen. They started an online call with the gang.
Isabella showed up first.
"Hey guys," she greeted. "Whatcha doin?"
"You too, huh?" Phineas remarked.
"Where's everybody else?"
As if to answer her question, Buford, Baljeet, and Django all appeared.
"Here we are," they all said in unison.
Everyone except Buford started coughing and sneezing.
"So everyone's sick in bed today?" asked Phineas.
"Nah, I'm just lazy," Buford replied.
"Cool… I think. Hey, where's Perry?"
Perry put on a face mask before walking past the door to Phineas and Ferb's room.
He then entered his lair through the nearby hatch.
"Agent P, I didn't know you were a germaphobe," Monogram remarked. "Carl is afraid of germs too."
"It's not the germs, sir," Carl corrected. "It's the garlic smell."
Perry took off his mask.
"Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has been seen racking up huge bills in Brain Bath & Beyond, the area's largest big-box mind-control store," Monogram explained. "Get to the bottom of it. Monogram out."
Perry saluted, got in his car, and flew off.
It didn't take long for Perry to enter Doof's apartment.
"Perry the Platypus, I've been expecting you," came Doof's voice. "Go ahead, sit down."
Perry found a nearby chair and sat down. He knew he was gonna be strapped, but he was used to it.
Doof swung by and put a helmet on Perry. Before he knew it, he was sitting completely still.
Okay, didn't see that coming, he thought.
"So, what do you think of my Devolitionator?" Doof asked before showing a remote. "You see, volition is our ability to choose what you're gonna do, but this allows me to take over your volition and control what you do. Watch."
Doof pushed a button, and Perry stood up. He then had Perry walk out of the apartment.
"Let's see what this baby can do," said Doof. "And let's make it snappy. I gotta pick up my daughter by five. You remember Vanessa, right? You blew me up at her birthday party."
"Alright, who wants to go first?" Phineas asked.
Everyone raised their hands.
"Well, let's let the computer decide," said Phineas.
The computer chose Buford and Baljeet.
"I'm fighting a nerd?" said Buford. "This will be easy."
Buford and Baljeet's avatars appeared on screen. Buford gave Baljeet a wedgie, draining most of his health. Unfortunately for Buford, Baljeet made an algebra equation appear on screen. Baljeet solved the equation with no problem. The resulting number just so happened to be Buford's amount of HP, causing his health to drain all the way to zero.
"Baljeet wins!" the announcer shouted.
"In your face, Buford," Isabella teased.
Doofenshmirtz's Ex-Wife's Sports Sedan
"Thanks for driving me to the scrapyard invasion party, Mom," Vanessa thanked.
"Remember, I won't be able to pick you up afterwards 'cause I'm gonna be getting my nails done," Charlene reminded. "So, I have your dad picking you up."
"Oh, that's cool, if by that you mean completely embarrassing me in front of the only people whose opinions matter to me."
"At least he's trying."
"Yes. Do you remember the last time he picked me up?"
Flashback
Last time Vanessa was picked up from a party, Doof appeared in his underwear riding a tricycle pulling a baby wagon. Clearly Vanessa was supposed to ride the wagon.
Before Vanessa could ask what happened, Doof just said, "Don't ask."
End of Flashback
"Maybe you should let me off here," said Vanessa. "At least I can start the party off with my dignity intact."
"Whoops, too late," Charlene said as she pulled over. "Look, it's those 'only people whose opinions matter'."
Vanessa got out of the car.
"Hey Vanessa," Johnny greeted. "Nice ride."
"Hey Johnny," Vanessa replied, blushing. "Hold onto that thought. My dad's picking me up."
"Have fun at the dump," Charlene said as she drove away. "Watch out for nuclear waste."
The next round was Django vs. Ferb.
"Good luck, Django," said Phineas. "Ferb is an internationally ranked video game wizard."
"Don't listen to him," Ferb said as if he didn't have a 'world champion' trophy right next to him.
The round began. Ferb and Django's avatars appeared on screen.
Django summoned a paintbrush and fired thinner in Ferb's direction. Ferb melted on the spot.
"Django wins!" said the announcer.
"Ferb, did you let yourself lose to spite Phineas?" asked Django.
"I would never do that," Ferb lied.
Phineas saw Ferb was reading a book while letting this little bird toy peck at the controller.
Vanessa looked around the junkyard. Multiple goth guys, gals, and non-binary pals around her age were partying like there was no tomorrow.
"Look at all the freaks," she remarked.
"Yep, these people are our type," Johnny added. "And we're even on the internet."
Johnny showed Vanessa his phone. There were recordings showcasing every angle of the place, including the bathroom.
"Baljeet and Django won their matches," said Phineas. "Who am I gonna fight?"
As if to answer, the game pitted Phineas against Isabella.
"I'm warning you, Isabella," Phineas teased. "I'm not gonna go easy on you just because you're a girl."
Isabella chuckled. "I wasn't expecting you to."
The battle began. The avatars appeared on screen.
Isabella summoned her sash and tried to whip Phineas. He summoned a shield and blocked the attack. He then fired a raygun, only for Isabella to dodge it.
Everyone else was on the edge of their beds as they anticipated who would win.
Once they were outside, Doof started making Perry skip, then slap himself. He took great pride knowing he finally took control of Perry.
"I can make you do anything!" he cheered.
He then noticed a piece of gum on the sidewalk. This gave him an idea. He made Perry pick up the gum, then move it towards his mouth.
Right as Perry was about to eat the gum, Doof stopped him.
"You were so close," he teased. "Now put that down and do it again."
Vanessa was enjoying herself when her phone rang. She answered.
"Hey, Dad," she greeted.
"Vanessa, Perry the Platypus ate gum off the sidewalk!" Doof yelled.
Vanessa sighed. "Did you call me just to tell me that?"
"No, I also wanted to remind you that I'll be picking you and your Visigoth friends up after the party."
"Dad, it's goths, not Visigoths, and they're punks! Get it right for once!"
Vanessa hung up.
Doof turned to the Visigoth he hired.
"Sorry," he apologized. "Apparently they're goths, not Visigoths, and you're not gonna impress the punks."
The Visigoth walked away, upset.
Doof then turned to Perry. "You see, this is what it's like having a teenage daughter. You're never cool enough. Anyway…"
Doof went back to making Perry hit himself.
Later, Doof was riding a shopping cart, and making Perry push it.
"I bet you're feeling so evil right now, aren't you?" he teased.
Worst, day, EVER! Perry thought.
Doof checked his watch. It was almost five. He had Perry direct him to the scrapyard, which luckily wasn't very far away
Perry carried Doof into the junkyard. One of the goths saw them.
"Sweet ride, dude," they complimented.
"Thanks," Doof replied.
He then realized that the remote was almost out of battery. He had Perry pause the cart, then he found a nearby TV screen. He plugged one of the cables into the remote to charge it. An electric shock made him drop the remote.
Doof noticed that a signal was being sent somewhere. He didn't know where, but he didn't care.
It's been hours, but neither Phineas or Isabella managed to land a single hit on each other. The others were starting to get bored.
That's when the screen went static.
"Aw man," everyone whined.
The static then faded to show Perry on screen wearing a strange helmet.
"Oh, a secret Perry level," said Phineas. "Nice graphics."
"Okay, Perry the Platypus, all charged up and ready to go," came a man in a lab coat. He pushed a button, but nothing happened. "What's wrong with this thing now?"
Phineas pushed a button on his controller. Perry's arm moved.
"I didn't do that," said the pharmacist.
It took Phineas a second to realize that he did that. He pushed another button, and Perry's arm moved again.
"Hmm, it seems I can only control Perry's left arm," he said.
"Let me try," said Isabella.
Perry's left leg started moving.
Buford controlled Perry's right arm.
Baljeet controlled Perry's right leg.
Ferb could move Perry back and forth.
Django could make Perry jump.
"What is the goal of this game?" asked Baljeet.
"Maybe it's to beat that old pharmacist," Buford said, noticing the pharmacist attacking Perry.
"Cool, this must be the boss level," said Phineas. "Alright, we'll work as a team on this one."
Together, the kids made Perry jump and kick the pharmacist.
"Perry the Platypus, what's gotten into you?" asked Doof.
Doof ran off. Perry went after him.
They both climbed on top of a mountain of scrap metal.
Doof tried to hit Perry with an umbrella. Perry grabbed the umbrella, and hit Doof in the head.
He tumbled down the mountain.
"We won, gang!" Phineas cheered. "And if I may be so bold, I claim the right to throw Perry's hat in the air."
Phineas made Perry throw off his helmet. It hit the screen. It went static.
"Huh, game over I guess," Phineas assumed.
Doof plummeted down the hill. His hands ended up in a bucket full of glue. He ended up at the DJ table.
Doof tried to get up. Because of the glue, his hands stuck to the records.
Doof saw Vanessa in the crowd. She was shocked to see him there.
"Hey," he greeted nervously.
Perry saw it all from the top of the hill. He felt a sense of satisfaction seeing Doof get his just desserts.
Well, see you tomorrow, Doofus, he thought as he was about to leave.
The angel appeared on his shoulder.
"But what about Vanessa?" he asked.
Perry turned back and saw how embarrassed Vanessa was. He felt guilty and decided to do something about it.
"Dad, why?" Vanessa sighed.
Doof noticed Perry sitting under the table. He leaned down.
"Perry the Platypus, what are you…?" he was about to ask.
Before he could finish, Perry put the helmet on Doof's head. Before he knew it, he was turning the tables.
"Dad, what are you doing?" asked Vanessa.
Play "There's A Platypus Controlling Me"
Doof:
Well I'll be honest, I don't really understand
But I fell down this hill, now I got glue on my hands
And I got records on my fingers
Crowd:
What?
Doof:
Records on my fingers
I got records on my fingers and I just can't stop
Crowd:
Don't stop, don't stop
Doof:
Well, I would if I was able
There's a platypus controlling me
Crowd:
What?
Doof:
Now let me sum it up
It was a strange set of circumstances
Crowd:
Strange set of circumstances
Doof:
I fell down the hill and I got clue on my hands
Now I've got records on my fingers and I just can't stop
Crowd:
Don't stop, don't stop
Doof:
Well, I would if I was able
There's a platypus controlling me
He's underneath the table
Crowd:
There's a platypus controlling him
"Oh, I get it," said one person. "Platypus is a metaphor for what's keeping you down."
Like corporations are a platypus
The government's a platypus
Your teacher is a platypus
"My teacher is a panda," another butted in.
The society's a platypus
My parents are a platypus
The media is a platypus
It's all just propaganda
We all got a platypus controlling us
Vanessa noticed that the crowd was having a good time.
Doof:
I'm not speaking metaphorically
He's underneath the table
Doof looked down to see Perry wasn't there controlling the remote, meaning he was controlling the records on his own.
Hey, there's no platypus controlling me
There's no platypus controlling me
End "There's A Platypus Controlling Me"
"Wow, your dad's kinda cool," Johnny complimented.
"You're my punk-rock boyfriend," Vanessa retorted. "It doesn't matter that you think he's cool. It only matters that I think he's cool."
Vanessa approached Doof and kissed him on the cheek.
"She thinks I'm cool!" Doof cheered.
"Well, it looks like all our fevers are broken," Phineas said before he heard Buford groaning. "Well, except for Buford. How ironic."
That's when Perry showed up.
"Oh, there you are, Perry," he said. "Just in time for your walk."
Perry chattered.