Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 59
The Remains of the Platypus
Linda entered an apartment with a tiny fedora in hand. She could not believe what she was seeing.
Flashing rainbow lights coming from a machine.
A group of men dressed as English guards from the 1700s dancing to modern. They were conducted by a tiny man dressed as a Mexican superhero.
A platypus running on a giant hamster wheel.
A late teen in a squirrel costume trapped in a cage.
And to top it all off, there was a man in his underwear in the center of it all. It didn't take long for Linda to realize it was her ex, Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
"It's not what it looks like," said the caged boy.
Linda gave the boy the hat.
"I think this is yours," she said. "I'll just be leaving now."
She shut the door, and tried to force everything she just witnessed out of her mind.
This day couldn't get any weirder, she thought to herself.
As if the universe was trying to prove her wrong, Linda's phone rang. She begrudgingly answered.
"Mom! Mom!" came Candace's voice. "The cheese mountain remains, but the people have fled en masse."
"What are you talking about?" Linda asked. "What people?"
Five Minutes Earlier…
Everyone ran out of the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. They were chased by a fat man that looked like a giant baby.
"High-five," he said. "Don't leave me hanging."
Candace tried to call Linda, but she was sent to voicemail.
"Mom, cheese, scary, home, now!" she shouted to the phone.
She hung up and noticed the fat manbaby.
The very site concerned her. "What happened to him?"
Fifteen Minutes Earlier…
Carl was trapped in a cage while wearing a squirrel costume. He was lucky his watch wasn't confiscated. He tried to call Monogram.
"Sir," he said. "I think Agent P's being controlled by…"
He stopped himself when he saw Monogram standing in front of a pile of cheese, as if about to eat it.
"Sir, don't do it!" Carl shouted. "DON'T DO IT!"
Then Carl heard the sound of an airhorn. Monogram started scarfing down the cheese. His face started to swell with every bite.
"NO!" Carl screamed.
Then Doof took the watch.
"Well, none of that, Squirrel Man," he said. "Besides, you're too late. Ever since Perry the Platypus quit your agency to become my butler, I have been freed up to create my ultimate inator: the Vaperinator!" Doof showcased the inator in question. "With my mind now clear, I stumbled onto a scientific fact. Every object on Earth, when heated to a certain temperature, evaporates. With this, I'll be able to vaporize things at will that cause all kinds of mayhem. I'm a genius, for realsies this time! Now, to your station, Perry the Butler! When this baby powers up, it's gonna get hot in here!"
He tore off his clothes the moment he finished that statement, leaving him in his underwear and socks.
Carl closed his eyes to avoid having to look at Doof's armpit hair.
"Happy place, happy place," he repeated to himself.
The machine started lighting up, sending rainbow sparks everywhere.
"Now, where to start?" Doof wondered. "How about all the sand at the beach?"
He turned on the computer to look at the beach. For whatever reason, no one was there. There were blankets, umbrellas, and chairs, but no people.
"Where is everyone?" Doof asked.
Twenty-Five Minutes Earlier…
A whole bunch of people were gathered in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. There were kids, teens, and even adults.
"Wow, I think this is the biggest turnout we've had all summer," said Phineas. "Eh, Buford?"
"Yep," Buford replied. "It couldn't get any cheddar than this."
Everyone applauded the joke.
"How do you keep coming up with them?" asked Baljeet.
"Showtime, Ferb," Phineas said to Ferb.
Ferb gave a thumbs-up, then he pulled a rope. A tarp came down, uncovering a giant cheese-shaped building.
"Cheesetopia is now open!" Phineas declared.
Play "Cheesetopia"
Everyone ran into the large megaplex.
My fever starts to climb above a hundred degrees
When I fly through the breeze with ease upon my cheese trapeze
They looked around and saw just how amazing the place was. There were plenty of cheese-themed rides to go on, arcades to play, and even an all-you-can-eat cheese buffet.
They know the cheese with ease-box squeeze, that is my expertise
Some people peeled a giant piece of string cheese and swung on the strings.
Others bounced on a giant piece of mozzarella.
Cheesetopia
Your cheese in wildest dreams become reality
Your fantasies of melted cheese up to your knees
One kid fired a cheese arrow. It landed right on top of a pile of cubed cheese pieces. His reward was a cheese cube on a stick.
Please try some cheddar peas and taste the gouda cheese
Cheesetopia
End "Cheesetopia"
Monogram looked around in awe.
"Cheese? Cheese?" he asked.
"Our cheese-eating contest is about to begin!" Isabella said on a megaphone.
Monogram found himself drawn towards the cheese.
He didn't notice that Carl was trying to call him.
Twenty Minutes Earlier…
Carl, in his squirrel suit, climbed up onto the balcony of DEI. He had Perry's hat in hand.
Unfortunately, the wind blew the hat away.
Play "Perry's Hat"
The hat flew past a woman hanging her wet clothes out the window.
Perry's hat floats on the wind
It then passed a couple trying to have a date in a French cafe. They just waved at it like it was normal.
I wonder where it is going
The hat then flew across the street. The crossing guard stopped traffic so it could pass.
Is there a head it will anoint?
Is this herring red or a plot point?
End "Perry's Hat"
The hat finally landed in front of Linda. She looked up and saw a squirrel man climbing on top of the ominous building.
"That squirrel man dropped his hat," she realized. "I should return it. I wonder what he's doing up there."
"Oh well," said Carl. "I gotta find out what happened to Agent P."
He snuck into the apartment and tried to hide. Sadly, he didn't hide well enough.
Perry saw Carl and alerted Doof.
Knowing he was caught, Carl made a run for it. Unfortunately, he ran right into a trap.
"Well, now, it appears that fate has dumped our mysterious guest like an immense pile of assorted cheese onto the lawn of my evil lab," Doof remarked.
There was a moment of awkward silence.
"Okay, weird metaphor," Doof admitted. "But I stand by it."
Oh, Agent P, what have you been up to? Carl wondered.
Twenty-Five Minutes Earlier…
Perry washed Doof's truck while he watched how long it took for a cube of ice to melt on the hot road.
Next, Perry baked Doof cookies while he worked on his blueprints.
Then, Perry trimmed Doof's leg hairs while he tried to solve a complicated equation.
After that, Perry fixed Doof a drink while he worked on his inator.
While Perry was taking out the trash, Doof noticed his hat on the ground.
"Look at this thing," he reminisced. "All the adventures, the excitements, the pummeling, he thwarts. I'm feeling rather sentimental."
He then threw the hat aside.
Meanwhile, Carl was at Squirrel-Con with his buddies.
"Man, am I pumped for Squirrel-Con!" said one buddy, Lucas.
"Yeah," Carl agreed. "With everyone in costume, there'll be no baleful looks of judgement."
That's when a hat landed in front of them.
"This is Agent P's hat," Carl realized, before calling Monogram. "Sir, we have a problem. Look."
He showed the hat.
"That doesn't look good," said Monogram. "Maybe you should look into it."
"Me, on a mission, like a secret agent?" Carl asked excitedly. "Yes sir!"
"As for me, I'm off to Cheesetopia! It's utopia, but with cheese!"
"Sir, you know what happens when you eat cheese."
"Uh, I've been cleared by doctors. Good luck, Carl."
"Yes! Squirrel-Con will have to wait!"
Carl ran past his friends and headed off to DEI.
"Poor guy," said Lucas. "I finished my deliveries early so I wouldn't have to miss this."
Six Hours Earlier…
Lucas was delivering loads and loads of cheese to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard.
"Last load of the day," he said to himself.
"Okay, just dump it right there like a caged guy in a squirrel costume," said Phineas.
Ferb gave Phineas a glare.
"I know, it's a weird metaphor, but I stand by it," Phineas said. "Alright, Baljeet, I need you to help Ferb with the foundation."
"I'm on it," Baljeet said.
He started rolling a piece of cheese with Ferb on top of it.
"Isabella, you and the Fireside Girls spread the word," Phineas continued.
Isabella saluted Phineas. "Girls, get ready to get our Flyer Delivery patches."
"Again?" Adyson whined.
"And Buford, keep the cheesy puns coming," Phineas finished.
"Sounds gouda to me," Buford joked, taking a bite of a piece of gouda cheese. He then caught a foul stench. "Hey, who cut the cheese?"
Ferb and Baljeet were cutting a piece of cheese. It let out the stench.
"Sorry," Baljeet apologized.
Two Minutes Earlier…
Candace was talking to her friends on the phone.
"And then I typed 'L-O-L', but it came out 'L-O-P'." she monologued before she caught a bad smell. "What's that smell? I'll call you later, girls."
She hung up and ran to the window. She saw the big piles of cheese being put in the backyard.
"Cheese, huh?" she remarked. "That warrants a call from Mom."
That's when something flew past her. It distracted Candace.
What was that? she asked.
Ten Minutes Earlier…
Perry entered his lair like always. To his surprise, only Monogram's mouth and chin were on screen.
"Morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "Sorry about the extreme close-up. Carl's off today and for the life of me I can't figure out how to work this thing. Anyway, we have reason to believe Doofenshmirtz is up to no good. Again, since Carl is out, I'll have to do the visual reference myself."
He took out a sharpie and paper and made the best drawings he could.
"He's recently purchased a small tux, a silvery tray, and a pair of white gloves," he went on. "I traced my hand for that last one. Oh, hey, look at this."
Monogram used the hand to draw a turkey.
"Look, it's Agent T," he joked.
Perry jumped back, as horrible memories played in his head.
"Too soon?" Monogram asked.
Perry forced the bad memories to the back of his mind, put on his jetpack, and flew off.
Fifteen Minutes Earlier…
Phineas, Ferb, and the gang were in the backyard. Buford had suggested that cheese be the theme of their project of the day.
"Why cheese?" asked Baljeet.
"Because cheese is cool no matter how you slice it," Buford replied.
No one responded.
"What?" Buford asked. "Am I provolone on this?"
"No," Phineas assured. "I guess it's as good an idea as any. Nice pun by the way."
"That's nothing. I havarti got a whole list of them."
"Besides, with the change in plans, we have nothing else prepared."
"Yeah," said Django. "What did happen to your first invention?"
Five Minutes Earlier…
"Mom, don't leave yet!" Candace shouted, pointing at a silver cardboard box. "Lil Saul and the entire Breakingham Palace Crew are in here! Come on, I know you're in there, Saul!"
"Joy located," said an automated voice on the box.
The box flew away.
"Never mind!" said Candace. "Have fun running errands!"
That's when Phineas, Ferb, and the gang came in.
"But Saul and his crew were unemployed," Phineas explained. "So I found them full-time work in my celebration-seeking rocket. It hones in on joy, activates, and is guaranteed to kick any party up to eleven."
They finally realized the box was gone.
"Where'd it go?" asked Phineas.
"Now you know how I feel," Candace remarked.
"Well, wherever it landed," said Ferb. "I hope they can handle a party of that magnitude."
Back to the Present…
Doofenshmirtz in his Underwear
"I can't believe it," said Doof. "Just moments away from finally achieving full control of the Tri-State Area, and I owe it all to you, Perry the Platypus, my trusted butler!"
Carl's watch was conveniently placed right next to the cage. On the screen, Monogram, who now had a chubby face, was cheering that he won.
"No, why didn't you listen?" Carl cried.
"Quiet you," said Doof. "I will not let you ruin this moment of pure joy!"
That's when a box came down from the sky.
"Joy detected," said an automated voice.
Lil Saul and the Breakingham Palace Crew came out.
"Oy poi poi and a deedle deedle deedle," said Saul.
The Breakingham Palace crew started to dance.
"This party's gonna be off the hook," Doof declared.
Before Doof knew it, everyone that lived in the apartment building came to his apartment for the party, drawn by Lil Saul and the Breakingham Palace Crew.
"I'm not sure I can handle a party of this magnitude," said Doof. "Either way, we've got enough power for the inator, Perry the Butler. You better tend to the guests."
Perry got off the wheel and started providing drinks to the guests. The fact that no one found the platypus butler weird was beyond anyone.
When Perry offered a drink to Carl, he just swatted the glass away.
"Agent P, how could you turn to the dark side?" Carl asked. "How could you have forsaken all that's good and right to be that maniac's butler? You don't belong in that suit, you belong in this hat!"
Carl put the hat on Perry's head.
Doof gasped. "Perry the Platypus! You have grape juice on your shirt. I can't have my manservant looking like a street urchin. You should go clean up before it sets."
Perry took off the hat and left to get clean.
"It's so hard to get good help these days," Doof groaned. "Even when you ride them like a bicycle."
Perry went to the bathroom and tried to remove the stain. He only made it worse. Seeing no other option, he took the suit off.
There was a note on his chest. It read, 'I FIGHT EVIL.'
The memories started to come back.
Flashback
Perry was held in front of a mirror. A bunch of mechanical arms measured him.
"When my Butlerinator is finished with you, not only will you have a perfectly-tailored uniform and wig," Doof explained. "But you will actually think you are my butler. You won't even remember that you fight evil for a living."
Perry saw one of the mechanical arms taking notes. He took the sharpie and wrote a message on his chest.
I hope this works, he hoped.
End of Flashback
In the end, his plan worked.
Perry took off his suit and wig and left the bathroom. He then took back his hat and put it on.
"Man, you really kicked this party up to eleven," Doof told Saul.
Perry jumped and tackled Doof.
"Perry the Platypus, what's gotten into you?" Doof asked.
Perry pointed at the message on his chest. Doof was dumbfounded.
"'Thait I live'?" he read. "What's that? Some new band?"
Perry grabbed a mirror and reflected the message. Doof finally got it.
"Very clever," he remarked. "You wrote a note to yourself in the future. I would not have predicted that."
Perry started to beat up Doof. Doof hit the Vaperinator. It fired.
Linda finally made it home.
"Mom Mom Mom, hurry hurry hurry!" Candace urged.
They entered the backyard. As Linda expected, it was empty except for a single tree.
"Candace, we do have a nice backyard," she said. "But if it makes you feel better, I have seen something weird today."
"Wait, you have?" asked Candace.
"Yeah. It started this afternoon when a tiny hat landed in front of me."
Perry destroyed the inator. Doof was devastated.
"Well, the joy's gone," said Saul. "Let's go."
He and the crew got back in the box and flew off.
"No Saul, no ball," said one of the guests. "Let's go."
Everyone left.
"Wait," Doof begged. "I was just about to break out the bubble machine. Curse you, Perry the Platypus, and you too, Squirrel Man!"
Perry and Carl flew off on Perry's hang glider.
The gang got back in the backyard.
"Who would have thought a high-fiving swollen guy would have scared everyone off like that?" Phineas remarked.
They all noticed that Cheesetopia was gone. They all gasped.
"It's gone?" Buford reacted in fake shock. "That's swiss-spicious!" He smiled. "I did it. A hundred cheesy puns, and look, there's Perry."
Everyone looked and saw that Perry was, in fact, under the tree.
"And scene," Buford bowed.