Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 84
Imperfect Storm
"Hey Mom," Candace said over the phone. "Jenny and I will be having lunch at the mall today, so we'll be here a little longer."
"Yeah, I thought you would," Linda said.
"Are the boys doing anything bustable yet?"
"Not yet, though they are figuring out how to use the push broom at the same time."
"Okay, keep me posted."
Once Linda hung up, Phineas passed by. He carried the push broom while Ferb rode on it.
"Hey Mom," said Phineas. "We're going down to the park to fly our kites."
"You want a ride?" asked Linda.
"I thought you had to meet with those landscaper guys."
"Right, I forgot. Du Bois Landscape Artists."
Du Bois Landscape Artists
"Also, that's yesterday's paper," Phineas pointed out.
"I thought the City Council was getting a little redundant," Linda admitted.
Not long after Phineas and Ferb left, a truck pulled into the driveway.
"Hello," one of the men greeted as he climbed out of the truck. "I'm Pierre Du Bois, (pronounced, 'da boys'), one-day landscape artist."
"Oh, so it's not 'Du Bois'?" Linda asked, shaking Pierre's hand.
"No, it's just like it's spelled. It's French."
Du Bois Landscape Artists
It's just like it's spelled, it's French
"Though Floraine here is Dutch," Pierre added.
Floraine tipped his hat and said something in Dutch.
"He says, 'it's nice to meet you'," Pierre translated.
"To my American ears, it almost sounded like, 'where's Perry?'" Linda remarked.
Perry entered the arcade and inserted a coin into a machine. The hatch opened, and Perry jumped through.
Perry
Perry found himself inside the machine. He jumped over a few small obstacles, then he tried to jump over a banana tree. His foot got stuck, and he fell down a chasm. A few of the bananas came down with him.
Perry landed in his lair, and a bunch of pixelated bananas fell onto the floor.
"Ah, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "Special surveillance photos tell us that Doof has been outfitting his skiff with something large."
While Monogram monologued, Perry examined the bananas.
How does he…? he wondered.
"It's hard to tell what it is," Monogram continued, snapping Perry out of it.
"Sir, I looked out the window at his building just now," Carl butted in. "And I saw the mysterious object was actually a bucket."
"Seriously, Carl? Why didn't you do that in the first place? We can't keep wasting our money like this." Monogram turned back to Perry. "Anyway, Agent P, I guess you can go over there and see what he's gonna do."
Perry saluted and left to do his mission.
"Is he gone?" asked Carl.
"He is," Monogram replied with a grin. "Now, let's go to Vegas."
Django had just finished stitching his kite together, and he showed it to Ferb.
"Thanks for inviting me, Ferb," he thanked. "I've always wanted to fly a kite, but never found the time."
Ferb smiled and looked away. "It's nothing, really."
Phineas showed Isabella the wind amplification device he built.
"How exactly does this work again?" asked Isabella.
"The machine sucks up outside air," Phineas explained. "The warm air is cooled down by liquid nitrogen. Cold air sinks until it starts to warm back up again, and that's when we heat it up with a giant blowtorch. As it accelerates, it sucks up more air volume and eventually blows out of the acceleration cone."
The acceleration cone opened and let out a big gust of wind that blew the feathers off of a poor bird.
Linda showed Du Bois the yard.
"I want something nice out here," she told them. "I think you know what to do. You are landscapers after all."
"We're landscape artists," Pierre corrected. "Do I need to show you the car again?"
He revealed that he took off the car door and carried it with him for this moment.
Du Bois Landsca…
"No, no, it's fine," Linda assured. "I'll be inside if you need me."
With that, she left Du Bois alone to do their thing.
Everyone had just finished strapping themselves onto their kites. Most of the kids had their own kites, though Buford and Baljeet shared one.
"Is everybody ready?" asked Phineas.
"Ready!" everyone declared.
Ferb just nodded.
"Alright," said Phineas. "Let her rip!"
The wind amplification device released big gusts of wind. The kites were lifted into the air, taking the kids with them.
It took Django a second to get his bearings, but once he got them, a feeling of exhilaration flooded his senses.
"We're flying!" he shouted. "This is… amazing! Woo-hoo-hoo!"
Ferb watched Django's laughing and cheering with a small smile.
"Hey, look at me, Phineas!" Isabella called Phineas as she flew over some clouds. "I'm a unicorn!"
Phineas chuckled. "That's cute." He realized what he said and blushed brightly. "I MEAN COOL!"
From his balcony, Doof watched the group of women gathered for a party at the park.
Specifically, he was watching one woman, a woman with short, curly hair, freckles, and glasses.
"Enjoy your Welcome to Danville luncheon, ladies," he said. "For soon, Grulinda, you shall taste the wrath of my…"
Then Perry jumped in front of his view.
"Perry the Platypus?!" Doof reacted in fake surprise. "Oh, before I forget, I got you a little lair-warming gift."
He gave Perry a tiny box. Perry opened the box, and a bunch of ropes came out and tied him up.
"I bet you're wondering why I'm spying on a garden party," said Doof. "Maybe not, but I'll tell you anyway. Back when I was a child in Drusselstein, there was this mean girl named Grulinda. Every day, she would pour water on my head. It doesn't matter whether he was taking a bath or working as a lawn gnome, Grulinda would always sneak up on him with a bucket of water. The worst part was, I couldn't do anything about it, but by some wonderful twist of fate, she has moved here to Danville, and the party just started. Now, I can finally have my revenge with this…" He gestured to the big bucket of water on the hovercraft. "The Soginator! Now, I will fly over the party and douse her with a lifetime of soggy humiliation!"
Perry just rolled his eyes.
"I get it, you think it's petty," Doof said. "That's… not too far off."
Linda came out and offered Du Bois iced tea, only to see her flowers, plants, and bushes were trimmed into sculptures like those you'd see at a botanical garden.
"What is that?" she asked.
"It's not finished yet," said Pierre. "But it's a juxtaposition of the irrigated world of the suburban lawn and the dryness of the natural summer environment." He gestured to what every part was supposed to be. "There's a water bucket dumping desert cacti, honeysuckle basket, wheat grass handle, extra spikey barrel cacti in place of the water."
"That's… that's…" Linda struggled to say.
She then groaned and walked away.
"Don't worry," said Pierre. "You'll love the finished product. Great art always takes time, as they say."
The house phone rang. As tired as she was, Linda answered.
"Mom, I need you to go into my closet and tell me whether…" Candace requested.
Linda tried her very hardest not to snap. "Candace, just, call me back in a few minutes. I'm a little ticked off right now."
"What happened?"
"Du Bois made a huge mess in the yard. They've ripped up the lawn, there's a giant bucket, and a bunch of cactuses." Linda took a breath. "I'm so mad. I gotta go."
Jenny waved her hand in front of Candace's expressionless face. "Candace, is something wrong?"
"It's the boys, they're busted," Candace replied before she collapsed on the floor.
Play "Straight-Up Bust"
Candace:
I don't believe it, Jenny, the moment is here
My brothers are busted, put it on the blogosphere
I've been vindicated, there's no more to discuss
I did not anticipate it, it's a straight-up bust
It's a straight-up bust, say it all over town
Things are looking up, because my brothers went down
It's a brand new day, may take a while to adjust
And it makes me wanna say, "Everybody, it's a straight-up bust"
Pause "Straight-Up Bust"
"We should be over Grulinda's party any minute," said Doof. "Then it's soggy revenge time."
A sudden gust of wind blew some of the water out of the bucket.
"Whoa, if that keeps up, I'll run out of water," Doof remarked.
That gave Perry an idea. He started hitting the bucket to dump out as much water as possible.
Some of the drops of water got sucked into the wind amplification machine.
Storm clouds gathered above, and heavy rain flew in the gang's direction.
"Uh-oh," said Django.
"Don't panic," said Phineas. "Ferb and I were prepared for this."
The two detached their straps from the kite and reattached them to the strings. They then slid down said strings like they were ziplines. The others followed suit.
Doof noticed the place suddenly got cloudy. He then got sprayed with a large dose of water.
"Wait, have you been dumping out my water?" he realized. "It better not be empty."
"Okay, Linda, I know you'll love this," said Pierre, gesturing to the large wheel he and Floraine had put in place. "This is the irrigation wheel. Each section represents a different part of the garden. It's a comment on the capricious nature of our existence. Some get water and live, others go dry and die."
Linda smacked her forehead. "This is ridiculous. I don't want to end up with a yard full of dead plants!"
Floraine yelled something in Dutch.
"He said, 'Great art takes time!'" Pierre translated.
Once Doof climbed to the top of the bucket, Perry took over the steering and made Doof fall into the water.
Doof climbed out just in time before Perry sent the bucket off the hovercraft.
He then looked down to see where the bucket landed. He was met with a bunch of water to his face.
He was sent flying in the air, then he plummeted to the ground.
Perry jumped off the platform, grabbed Doof, and activated his parachute. Because Doof was wet, his shoe slipped off and he hit the ground anyway.
He landed right in front of Grulinda.
"You!" he shouted as he got up. "I almost dumped a whole bucket of water on your party, but some platypus got in the way! Anyway, I'll get you next time, Grulinda! Revenge is a dish best served soggy!"
"Uh, Grulinda's over there, bub," the woman said.
Doof turned around to the real Grulinda, who looked much different than she did all those years ago. Her hair was long and straight, she wasn't wearing glasses anymore, and her freckles were gone.
"Alright, Gru…" Doof tried to repeat before he finally processed the new getup.
"Wait, hold on a sec…" Grulinda said as she put on her glasses. "Soggybottom Heinz Doofenshmirtz?"
"Wow, you changed. You used to be so… what's the polite way to say this?" He pointed at the other woman. "You used to look exactly like her."
"I'll pretend that was a compliment," said the woman.
"So, why are you being so nice all of a sudden?" Doof asked. "After picking on me all those years ago!"
Grulinda chuckled. "I sprayed all that water because I liked you."
Doof blushed in embarrassment. "You must've liked me a lot, because that was a lot of water."
Continue "Straight-Up Bust"
Candace continued celebrating her victory throughout the mall, while the crowd joined in.
Candace:
It's a straight up bust, say it all over town
Things are looking up because my brothers went down
It's a brand new day, and we'll repeat if we must
'Cause what we're trying to convey is this is totally a straight up bust
Candace slid down a slide at a kid's play area.
I've got more time to play
Kids:
And it's totally a straight-up…
She then danced on top of a buffet table.
Candace:
My life's a big buffet
Customers:
And this is totally a straight-up…
Candace:
I know this sounds cliche
Finally, she got on a crane platform and ascended it as she concluded her song.
But this is totally a straight-up bust
End "Straight-Up Bust"
"Wait, what am I doing?" Candace asked herself. "Jenny, get me down from here! I need to see what the boys have done!"
After the storm cleared, Django found his kite torn in pieces. He was devastated.
Ferb approached Django and held his shoulder. "I'm sorry things didn't turn out so well."
Django took a breath as he turned towards Ferb. "I'll live. This was still a fun day." He smiled and blushed a little bit. "Thanks again for inviting me, Ferb. It means a lot to me."
Ferb looked away with his own smile and blush. "Cool."
They hooked each other's pinkies together.
The next time Linda went out, Du Bois showed her a trimmed hedge depicting herself holding a baby.
"She holds the thorns, which symbolize the hardships of being a mom," Pierre explained. "And she holds the pink jasmine, which symbolizes the joy of children."
While Linda was hesitant at first, the more she looked at it, the more she realized that this was just like her life, in a way.
"This is the most sweet and adorable thing I've ever seen," she declared before walking back inside.
"'Sweet and adorable'?" Pierre reacted as if she just criticized him. "She's mocking us!"
"It's so good to see you after all these years," said Grulinda. "Tell me, how's it going?"
"It's going, alright," Doof replied bashfully. "I live in a penthouse not too far from here. You can't miss it. It's on top of the big building with the 'Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated' sign. I even have a jingle that goes with it."
"Oh, that's you? That's… interesting."
"Yeah. I also have a daughter, and she's my pride and joy."
"That's awesome. How old is she?"
"She's sixteen." Doof felt a bit of sadness knowing that. "Yeah, she's already in that phase of her life."
Grulinda gave Doof a knowing look. "I see. Well, it seems you have a pretty good life here."
"Not really. I live off of alimony checks from my ex-wife, and I use that money to fund get-rich-quick schemes that never work, no thanks to Perry the Platypus."
"Wait, a platypus foils your schemes?"
"Yeah. This isn't some regular old platypus. He's skilled in hand-to-hand combat, he's agile, and he wears a fedora."
Grulinda barely suppressed a chuckle. "That's cool. Well, it was nice running into you, Heinz. Hope we meet again sometime."
"Yeah, me too."
Eurydice walked off to join her friends while Doof watched her and smiled.
Perry approached Doof and gave him a teasing smile.
"Yeah yeah," Doof rolled his eyes. "Communication is better than revenge, bla bla bla. I've learned my lesson. Don't you have somewhere to be right now?"
Perry checked his watch and realized Doof was right. He tipped his hat, put on his jetpack, and flew off.
Candace rushed home and found Linda sitting on the couch.
"What did the boys do to the backyard?" she asked. "How much trouble are they in?"
"Well, at first I thought they were the world's worst landscapers," Linda replied. "But they're growing on me."
"Landscapers?"
"Here, let me show you."
Linda led Candace outside. Other than Phineas and Ferb sitting under the tree with their friends, the backyard was bare.
"Wait, where'd it all go?" asked Linda. "It was all here a second ago."
"Ha ha, very funny," Candace said sarcastically.
"I have never been so insulted in my life!" Pierre ranted as he drove out of the neighborhood. "She called it sweet and adorable."
Floraine said something in Dutch.
"By the way, I have no idea what you're saying," Pierre finally admitted.
"Would you mind if I spoke in English?" asked Floraine.
"Well, now that you mention it, yes."