Chapter Text
Play Phineas and Ferb Theme Song
The wind blows multiple calendar pages into the air, starting on June 3.
There's 104 days of Summer Vacation
Then School comes along just to end it
Phineas and Ferb sit under a tree in their backyard.
So the annual problem for our generation
Is finding a good way to spend it
Cue montage of the boys doing multiple activities.
Like maybe
First, the boys land on the moon. They jump out of the rocket and float forwards.
Second, Phineas climbs on top of Ferb. They try to fight a mummy.
Third, they climb up a certain French tower.
Building a rocket or fighting a mummy
Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Fourth, Ferb removed a tarp to show a weird unicorn-turtle hybrid. Phineas takes a picture of it.
Fifth, the boys force a monkey into the shower. Neither of them enjoy this one.
Discovering something that doesn't exist
Or giving a monkey a shower
Sixth, they surf on a large wave.
Seventh, they create tiny robots.
Eighth, they find Frankenstein's monster. The brain is missing from the head. It doesn't take them that long to find.
Ninth, they find a bird.
Tenth, they fly on a helicopter with a large paintbrush over the city. They covered the city in orange paint.
Eleventh, the boys work on a painting. The painting depicts a red-headed girl with a mustache.
Surfing tidal waves, creating nanobots, or locating Frankenstein's brain
Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent, or driving your sister insane
Turns out, this girl isn't actually a painting, but the boys' sister, Candace. She turns to Phineas angrily.
"Phineas!" she shouts.
The boys do multiple things, all the while their sister watches angrily.
Film a movie.
Build a giant robot dog.
Tamper with a car.
Ride a rollercoaster.
As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before School starts this fall
Candace talks to a friend on the phone. She doesn't notice the boys carrying a live elephant into the backyard until she hears Phineas call out, "Come on, Perry!" That gets her attention.
Later, she's seen playing "Whack-a-Pest". The pests that pop out are her brothers and their pet platypus.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
Afterwards, the boys dance around and play guitar as images of the infinite possibilities flash by.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all
When the boys are done, they pose. Their sister comes in.
"Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!" she shouts.
The boys stare at her for a second. They then brush it off and resume their poses.
End Intro
104 Days of Summer Vacation
Day 95
Love at First Byte
Linda oversaw the construction of the big Summer Block Party.
"Roger," came a voice from her walkie. "We do have confirmation that the fireworks area has been flooded."
"I understand," said Linda.
That's when Phineas and Ferb came out.
"Hi Mom," Phineas greeted. "How's it coming?"
"I'm totally overwhelmed, and now I have no fireworks for the big finale," Linda explained.
"Is there anything we can do to help?"
"That's sweet, boys."
"Uh, Madame Chairwoman," said the voice on the walkie. "We have a Code Blue on the beignet bus."
"Yes, okay, I got it," Linda replied, then sighed. "I'm at my wits' end, and I've got no finale."
"What about a laser light show?" Phineas suggested.
"That's a great idea." Linda wrote a list and gave it to Ferb. "Here's a budget and list of companies. Can you handle it for me? I've gotta run. Thanks so much."
Phineas and Ferb skimmed through the list.
"You know, I think it might be easier if we did the light show ourselves," Phineas suggested. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tonight."
Lawrence showed up wearing a jester costume.
"Hello, hello, hello!" he greeted. "Can you guess what my DJ costume is for tonight's big Mardi Gras block party?"
"A scary post-apocalyptic hand puppet?" Phineas guessed.
"Why does everyone guess that? I'm a Mardi Gra jester. Speaking of which, where's Perry?"
Perry was already in his lair.
"Good morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted. "Your assignment concerns tonight's big block party. We've intercepted intel that Doofenshmirtz is planning to attend the festivities 'just for the fun of it'. We need you to attend the block party and confirm that he's not up to no good. I know I just said a double negative, but I think it works. Unfortunately, since your surveillance will take place in close proximity to your house, you will need to be in disguise for the duration of the mission. Carl, activate the Hydraulic Costume Chamber."
The chamber activated, covering Perry up. The disguise in question was just an inflatable costume of himself.
"Aw, you look adorable as a balloon animal," Monogram complimented. "Now, get out there and laissez les bons temps rouler."
Perry saluted and bounced out of the lair.
"This dumb block party's throwing off my entire day," Candace whined to Stacy and Jenny. "Jeremy's stuck working the Slushy Dawg concession, my parents are busy with preparations, and the boys are so preoccupied with the party they haven't done anything bustable all day."
Jenny looked out the window. "Hey, wouldn't a giant robot insect count?"
Candace saw the robot and smiled. "Woo-hoo! I'm back in the game!"
She ran out of her room.
"What horrors did you just unleash?" Stacy asked rhetorically.
Candace ran out into the backyard, Stacy and Jenny following close behind.
"Phineas, Ferb, what is this giant insect robot thingy?" Candace asked.
"It's not a giant insect robot thingy," Phineas explained. "It's part of the light show extravaganza for the big block party finale."
"Huge, impossible, bustable." Candace ran out. "MOM!"
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Norm sat on the stairwell with a frown on his face.
"Okay Norm," said Doof. "You ready to head out to the block party?"
"I'm not going," Norm replied.
"Don't tell me you're still bummed about not having a date."
"Yes, yes I am."
"Quit your whining. Just go stag, like me."
"You mean, dress up like a wild forest creature with antlers?"
"Not quite. I tried that and it did not go well. Come on, Norm, you might find a nice popcorn machine or a blender."
Norm smiled and stood up. "You had me at popcorn machine."
"Mom, Mom, Mom!" Candace called. "Do you know what Phineas and Ferb are doing?"
"They're working on the big finale for the block party tonight," she and Linda said in unison.
"Wait what?" Candace asked.
"I asked the boys to help out for the party," Linda explained.
"On purpose?"
"Yes, on purpose. I need the help. Now, leave them alone so they can get the job done."
"B-b-but…"
Stacy and Jenny overheard everything.
"Ooh, twist," Stacy remarked.
"Come on," Jenny said, grabbing Candace and Stacy's hands. "Let's have some fun."
"No can bust, no have fun," Candace muttered.
"Presenting the Pyrotechnic Holographic Light and Audio Simulator and Electromagnatic Radioscope!" Phineas showed the rest of the gang.
"Or 'PHLASER' for short," Ferb added.
"What about fireworks?" asked Buford. "Isn't that traditional for a finale?"
"It may be tradition," said Phineas. "But the PHLASER is way cooler without the danger of losing a digit."
Ferb did the missing thumb trick.
"Quit it, Ferb!" Buford shouted. "You're creeping me out, man."
"Hey, it's a neat trick," Django argued.
Ferb smiled at the compliment.
"As soon as we polish the lenses, we're good to go," said Phineas. "Let's grab some towels."
Perry bounced off of some porta-potties and landed in a balloon animal stand. From there, he watched Doof and Norm walking around the block.
"Okay, you see that cute popcorn machine over there?" Doof asked Norm, pointing to the nearby machine. "You just gotta walk up to her and say something smooth. You remember your line?"
"'You've got a pretty hot oil pan,'" Norm recited.
"Oh yeah, you got game now."
Unfortunately, some guy approached the popcorn machine with their own cotton candy machine.
"Well, you snooze, you lose" said Doof.
Norm sighed. "I guess I'll have to get used to being alone."
Right after he said that, he saw a beautiful robot with a red suit and blonde hair. His eyes widened, his face turned red, and smoke started to emit out of his body.
"Norm, are you okay?" asked Doof.
"My inner circuitry seems to be overloading," Norm replied.
"Aw man. I left the electrical tape in my other lab coat. Wait, now I get it. You got a thing for that other robot, huh? Not bad. I think you got a chance with them if you play your cards right."
"What do I say? I don't believe they have an oil pan to compliment."
"Just introduce yourself and, you know, ask them what their sign is, then run the other way if they says 'Sagittarius'."
"Thank you, sir."
"Go get 'em, Norm."
Norm approached the other robot and said, "Hi, I'm Norm. What is your sign?"
"I am Charlie," the other robot replied. "I am a Pisces."
There was a moment of silence, then Norm walked away.
"What happened?" asked Doof.
"You didn't tell me what to do if she is a Pisces," Norm explained.
"In my experience, you get married… then subsequently divorce, but we don't have time for that. We gotta get you rolling."
Perry's attention was diverted when a little boy approached him.
"Excuse me, can I…?" he tried to ask.
Perry shushed the boy, then inflated him a balloon fedora. The boy put on his new hat and walked away.
Perry went back to Doof and Norm.
"So, are we clear?" Doof asked.
"Talk about her interest and try to find something in common," Norm replied.
"Yes, but don't be too obvious about it. Stay cool."
"No problem. My compressor is from a refrigeration unit."
"What are you telling me for? I'm the one who installed it."
Perry's watch beeped. He ducked down and answered the call.
"Agent P," said Monogram. "Just checking in to see if you've noticed any evil activity from Doofenshmirtz…"
Monogram's voice sounded much closer than it should've been. He looked up and saw Monogram right in front of him with an ice cream in hand. Carl was behind him carrying a backdrop of Monogram's usual background.
"Uh, Monogram out," Monogram said as he hung up the call. "Carl, why didn't you tell me he was sitting right there?"
Norm approached Charlie again and said. "Hello."
Charlie turned around. "Hello."
"So, what is your prime directive?"
"My core competency is dancing."
"What a coincidence. Me too."
"Well, see you on the dance floor."
"I'll see you there, right after I defrost because I am so cool."
Norm walked back to Doof.
"Well?" Doof asked.
"She wants to dance with me, but now I am nervous," Norm explained.
"Go on, now, you just gotta get out of your own head. Get out there and strut your stuff, Normie G."
"Alright, commencing 'stuff strutting'."
Phineas, Ferb, and the gang were busy polishing the PHLASER.
"Alright everyone," said Lawrence. "I wanna see all of you out on that dance floor, parents, kids, giant robots? Sure, why not? Let's kick this party into second gear."
"That's our cue," said Phineas. "Are the lenses clean?"
"The lenses are good," said Buford, who was upside-down. "But all the blood's gone to my head."
Ferb pushed the button on the remote, activating the PHLASER. It fired beams of multiple colors onto a nearby cloud, and lighting up the whole block.
All the partygoers glowed. They looked at their bodies, amazed.
Tattoos of a buff man were fried off of his skin.
"Hey, I can finally be an accountant!" he cheered.
Alley cats got drawn to the dance floor.
"That's a lot of cats," Stacy remarked.
But Candace was too depressed to notice them.
Play "Robot Love Song"
Norm started strutting his stuff on the dance floor.
Charlie:
I see you there, you're scanning me
My optic relays detect a codified anomaly
Norm:
Well, I'm here, squirrel drive online
There's a diode spike up my metal spine
I can see where you're coming from
When your receptors blink and your servos hum
I'm so overclocked, I don't know my name
There's something wrong in my core mainframe
Don't you know that I'll take you to a higher place
As we meet on the floor and we interface
Charlie:
I sense a change in my info-stream
From your innovative positronic sequencing
You used to have such an eight-bit feel
With your screw-on head and your squirrel wheel
Now, I'm forced to re-evaluate
My old motherboard and data rate
We'll move our chassis to a higher place
As we meet on the floor and we interface
Norm (Charlie):
Well, I'm here, squirrel drive online
There's a diode spike up my metal spine (You want to dance with me)
I can see where you're coming from
When your receptors blink and your servos hum (That's how it's gonna be)
I'm so overclocked, I don't know my name
There's something wrong in my core mainframe (Error, now make your case)...
Both:
Don't you know that I'll take you to a higher place
As we meet on the floor and we interface
End "Robot Love Song"
Right as the song ended, Norm's head exploded and flew into a random backyard.
The PHLASER spun around and launched into the air.
"Looks like the finale's ahead of schedule," said Phineas. "Glasses everyone."
"Already on it," Isabella replied.
She and the Fireside Girls went to give all the partygoers sunglasses.
Everyone watched, with their eye-protection on, as the PHLASER exploded, creating a blinding, yet beautiful, light.
Norm's head landed back on his body, though he was now upside-down.
"Norm, your performance exceeded my previous computations," said Charlie.
"I just had to get out of my own head," Norm replied.
"Well, what a fun little finale to our finale," the DJ said. "Congratulations and kudos to our two winners, and there wasn't even a contest."
"Wow, you were smoothtastic," Doof complimented. "Are you gonna introduce me to your new partner?"
"Of course," Norm replied. "This is…"
That's when Rodney showed up.
"Charlie, what are you doing?" he demanded.
"Rodney," said Doof. "Wait, this is your robot?"
Rodney ignored Doof and carried Charlie away. "Come Charlie, let's get you away from this rusted Romeo."
"Oh yeah, well, I'm too flustered to come up with an insult right now, so I'll call you and give it to you later! Come on Norm."
Doof took Norm's hand, and they walked home.
"Goodbye Charlie," said Norm. "Parting is such a sweet sorrow."
"Was that a Romeo and Juliet reference?" asked Charlie.
"Yes, yes it was."
Linda went into the backyard.
"Boys, are you here?" she asked. "I just wanted to say…" She stopped and gasped when she saw what was in the backyard. "Phineas, Ferb, you are so busted!"
That's when Candace showed up. "Wait, did you say Phineas and Ferb are busted?"
"I certainly did." Linda turned back to the boys. "What are all my good guest towels doing out here, and they're filthy?"
"Wait, towels?!"
"We're sorry, Mom," Phineas apologized. "We'll clean them up."
"You get right on that," said Linda. "And when you're done, we'll have beignets."
"Wait, let me get this straight," Candace processed. "After all they've done this summer, you get onto them for a few dirty towels?!"
"Come on, Candace," said Phineas. "We got in trouble. Isn't that enough for you?"
Candace rolled her eyes. "Way to make a mockery out of my lifetime goal! Towels."