Chapter Text
For the last few days, Marnie had been unrelenting in watching Shane. No matter where he went or what he did, she insisted on keeping an eye on him.
If she couldn’t be there physically, she’d text him incessantly or send Cole to watch him instead. The constant supervision was starting to drive him insane. He understood why she did this, of course, but that didn’t make it any less obnoxious.
Today, he sat with her at the kitchen table while Jas was taking a nap, both with a cup of tea in front of them. He drummed his fingers nervously, trying to gather the nerve to finally tell her.
Marnie continued talking, seemingly unaware of Shane’s troubled demeanor. “Anyways, he says he runs the Adventurer's Guild. I didn’t even know that was a thing we had around here. Apparently, Cole is a member. Did you know that?”
“I think he's mentioned it once or twice.” Shane said.
“It has something to do with keeping monsters out of the mines. I know Cole’s been mining a lot these days.”
“He finally started getting those tools upgraded like he wanted.”
“Oh, really? I’m sure that’s good business for Clint. He needs it. The only one who commissions him right now is Robin.”
“Makes sense. Most people don’t need a blacksmith.” Shane took a deep breath, glancing off to the side. “So, you know a while back when I got in that funk over something I didn’t wanna talk about?”
Marnie paused, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Of course I do. Did you want to talk about it now?”
“Kind of.” Shane sighed. “I’m just… scared you’ll think of me differently, I guess. It’s a scary thing to talk about.”
“Surely it can't be as big as you’re making it out to be.” She smiled gently and took a sip out of her mug. “You know that no matter what, I’ll always think of you as the same.”
Shane nodded and swallowed, pushing down the fear in his chest as he forced himself to speak. “I… realized recently that I’m gay.”
Marnie froze as her eyes widened. Shane grimaced at her reaction, tensing more with each second of silence that passed.
Maybe he should’ve just kept this to himself. Maybe Marnie wouldn’t accept him like he thought she would. As Shane was about to backtrack and try to salvage the situation, she finally spoke.
“I’m sorry, I’m not being quiet because I’m not okay with that. I just don’t know what to say.” She spoke quietly, the shocked look on her face dampening.
Shane let out the breath he was holding, his tension easing away. “I was just scared to tell anyone. It’s a small town, and I know how some of the people here feel. I didn’t want you to kick me out or hate me or anything.”
“Oh, Shane,” Marnie cooed, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand, “I could never hate you. Not over something as trivial as who you love.”
Shane nodded, sighing shakily.
“I don’t mind one bit. I just wasn’t expecting you to say that, is all. Though I’m not all that surprised.” She smiled and giggled lightheartedly.
“What? Why aren’t you surprised?” He frowned.
“I had my suspicions about you and Cole. You act a lot closer than just friends.”
Horror flooded over Shane as a pit settled in his stomach. Marnie already knew? That was the one thing he wanted to keep hidden. It was the entire reason he was so ashamed in the first place.
“Are the two of you an item? I didn’t want to make any assumptions, but judging by your face…”
“No, Marnie.” He sighed and stared dejectedly into his cup. “Cole’s not like me.”
He looked up to see a puzzled look on Marnie’s face. He gave her an equally confused look before she spoke.
“Sorry, I just thought…” She trailed off and shook her head. “Well, I’m sure you’ll both sort things out eventually.”
“What? What does that mean?” Shane asked irritably.
“If it’s not something he’s told you himself, it wouldn’t be right for me to say.” Marnie frowned. “You can ask him about it yourself, but it’s not my story to share.”
Curse Marnie and how considerate she can be. Shane sighed and nodded, unhappy with the answer but willing to accept it nonetheless.
He was curious about whatever the hell Marnie was talking about, but asking Cole himself was a dangerous game. Cole would, without a doubt, question why he was asking, and that could easily lead to him finding out about Shane. He could tell him it came up in conversation with Marnie, but that felt equally as incriminating.
He supposed he’d decide tonight at the saloon whether or not to ask. These sorts of decisions he usually made in the spur of the moment, anyway.
“Can I ask something if it’s not too personal?” Marnie asked, interrupting Shane’s thoughts. He snapped his head up, nodding for her to continue. “What was it that made you realize?”
Shane stiffened, a familiar pit returning to his stomach. Would it be best to just tell her? It seemed like she already knew, so there wouldn’t be much point in hiding it.
He sat silently for a moment, nervously fidgeting with his cup before he spoke. “It was, uh,” He hesitated, “It was Cole.” He finally said, looking nervously at Marnie.
She nodded sagely and took a drink of her tea. Shane thought from her expression that she expected this answer. “I assumed so, I just wanted to make sure.” She said.
They sat in silence for a moment before Marnie spoke again. “Thank you for telling me, Shane. I can’t imagine how hard that was to share. I promise I don’t see you any differently.”
“Thanks.” Shane said awkwardly. “Do you think Cole knows? I’m kind of worried he figured it out.”
“Even if he did, he’s a kind man. I know he’d accept you just as much as I did.” Marnie spoke softly, reaching across the table to squeeze Shane’s hand.
“Thanks, Marnie.” He smiled uneasily. “Maybe one of these days I’ll tell him.”
“I think that’d be good for you. There’s no use in hiding it and feeling ashamed.”
“I guess so.” Shane said, taking a drink. “You wanna tell me more about this Marlon guy?”
—-
Shane spent the rest of the afternoon with Marnie and Jas, chatting and playing board games. Jas had been surprisingly cheerful after everything that happened over the last week or two. Shane had a feeling Marnie went out of her way to hide the truth of what happened from her. He couldn’t say he blamed her, he would do the same thing in her position.
After a few hours, he started making his way to the saloon to meet Cole. He walked down the town's stone paths, his mind wandering.
Things had been tense between him and Cole since the night they watched the Tunneler’s game together. It wasn’t a bad sort of tension, they weren’t avoiding each other or anything, but it seemed like both of them were waiting for the other to address that night.
Neither of them would, obviously. Shane feared that actually talking about it might lead Cole to finding out about his feelings, and that was the last thing he wanted. He wasn’t sure why Cole didn’t want to talk about it. He probably just felt awkward. At least, that’s what Shane assumed.
As he reached the saloon, he swung the door open and stepped inside. Cole sat at their usual spot, leaning over and talking to Emily. Shane pushed down a pang of jealousy as he approached and sat next to him.
“Hey, look who it is!” Cole smiled brightly when he noticed Shane.
“The one and only.” Shane gave a sideways smile as he sat down, waving to Emily. “Hey.”
“Hi, Shane!” She said cheerfully. “We were talking about the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies coming up. Are you going this year?”
“Probably, I don’t know.” He shrugged, “When is that, anyway? This week?”
“On Sunday! Cole said he’d be coming.”
“Yeah, but Cole goes to everything.”
“I just love the community.” Cole said. “It’s nice being around people. I wanna see these glowing jellyfish, anyway.”
“I guess I’ll go. No reason to sit at home doing nothing.”
“That’s the spirit.” Cole grinned, shaking Shane’s shoulder.
“I’ll let you two chat while I get back to work. It was nice seeing you, Shane!” Emily said cheerfully.
“Yeah, you too.”
With that, Emily walked off, leaving Cole and Shane alone. They sat in silence for a moment before Shane spoke. “Kind of weird being here without drinking, huh?”
“Yeah, it is. It’s for the best, though. We’ll be saving money.”
“I didn’t realize how much I spent on that crap until we started cutting back. I’ve got a lot more spending money now. I’m saving up to get Jas these shoes she’s been wanting.”
“Aw, that’s real sweet of you.” Cole smiled, his eyes softening. Shane looked away, warmth flooding his cheeks.
“Yeah, well, I’m trying to be a better godfather. What’re you putting your money towards?”
“A little project.” Cole said vaguely. Shane looked back at him and furrowed his brow. “I can tell you what it is, but it’ll sound ridiculous.” Cole relented.
“Everything you say sounds ridiculous.”
“That’s fair.” He laughed. “I’m saving cash to put inside the vault at the abandoned community center. The apple critters want it.”
Shane stared dumbfounded at Cole. “You’re so full of shit, you know that? If you didn’t wanna tell me what it’s for, you could’ve just said so.”
“That is what it’s for!” Cole defended. “They’re gonna get the bus fixed up once I get enough money.”
“You’re really drawing this joke out, huh?”
“They fixed the minecarts! Wasn’t it weird how they just started up and running again one day?”
Shane opened his mouth to speak, but closed it immediately after. He assumed Lewis fixed them at first, but honestly, magic apple creatures made more sense. It’d be a cold day in hell before Lewis did anything useful for this town.
“Maybe I’ll believe you if you show me.” Shane compromised.
“Deal. I’ll take you out there one day.” Cole grinned and offered a hand. Shane rolled his eyes, but shook on it anyway.
Shane sat quietly for a moment before suddenly speaking, a regrettable question forming. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Marnie and I were talking today and…” He paused, thinking of the best way to phrase things.
“And?” Cole asked.
“We were talking about, um,” He paused, “An old friend of mine who was gay. She kind of implied something about you, but when I asked what she meant, she said she thought you had told me and to ask you myself.”
A small tremble shot through Cole’s body, hardly noticeable, as a fearful expression set on his face. Shane frowned, quickly backtracking. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not any of my business, I was just curious.”
“What do you mean she implied something?” Cole asked quietly, equal parts fear and irritation in his voice. Shane had no idea why he was acting this way. It was bizarre to see him almost scared by the subject.
“I said something about you not being gay, and she acted confused. I asked her about it, but she just said to ask you.”
Cole bit the inside of his cheek, staring down at the countertop. “Pappy thought when I was a kid that I was turning out to be queer. That’s probably what she was talking about.”
“Why did he think that?”
“Why do you think?” Cole snipped, glaring at Shane. His eyes quickly softened as he looked at Shane’s hurt expression. “Sorry, I’m sorry. It’s… a sensitive subject.”
“It’s alright, I shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.” Shane shrank in on himself, staring awkwardly downward. “But, um, if you were, I wouldn't have a problem with it.” He said, almost hopefully.
“Maybe you should.” Cole mumbled.
Shane grimaced, his shoulders tensing. “Why? Do you not like those sorts of people?”
“What? No, no, it’s not that at all.” Cole sighed. “I just… I can’t. My Pappy wouldn’t have wanted it.”
“...Does that matter?”
“Of course it matters! I’ve spent my whole life trying to be the man he wanted, what would all that mean if I just–?” He cut himself off with an exhausted sigh. “Never mind.”
Shane paused for a moment to think before he spoke. “...Marnie told me about him once. About what happened with him and your mom.”
Cole glanced over, a frown on his face. “Look, he may not have been perfect, but his heart was in the right place.”
“I’m not saying it wasn’t, but if he just let that happen to your mom and then let it happen to you, he may not be as good as you thought.”
“He was good. He was an amazing man.” Cole insisted, anger slipping into his voice.
“He hurt you, Cole.”
“Because he had to! I wasn’t going to learn otherwise!”
“So should I be hurting Jas to discipline her? Every time she cries or shows weakness, should I be hitting her? Yelling at her and telling her she's not allowed to be who she really is?”
“Just shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cole growled. Shane glared at him, but ultimately dropped the subject.
They sat silently for a few minutes. Shane did his best to collect his thoughts while Cole cooled down.
Why was he being so defensive about this? He wasn’t reacting normally to Shane’s questions. Shane assumed Cole would shoot him down with a quick ‘no, I’m not queer’ and that would be the end of it. His defensiveness was starting to make Shane question if something really was there.
But what about his wife and kid? It didn’t make sense for him to be gay. But if he wasn’t, then why act so weird about Shane’s questions? Shane glanced over at Cole. He stared down at the countertop with his leg bouncing up and down faster than what seemed healthy.
“Cole.” Shane finally said. Cole snapped his head over, his eyes wide like a startled deer. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, and I shouldn’t have talked like that about your grandpa.”
Cole deflated, the bouncing of his leg slowing down. “I’m sorry, too. You kind of have a point, I just hate admitting it.” He sighed. “I’ve been working through a lot of stuff about my Pappy. I’m starting to realize he’s not the man I chalked him up to be.”
“I know. I’m sorry you’re going through that.”
“I just wish someone in my life would’ve done right by me, you know? Feels like the one person I thought was in my corner never really was.”
“It might be too late to matter, but if it means anything, I’ll always be there for you.”
Cole smiled gently, sighing through his nose as a contented look settled on his face. “Never too late to matter. And I’ll always be looking out for you, too.”
“Thanks, man.” They sat in comfortable silence after that, leaving Shane to his thoughts.
The whole conversation left Shane with more questions than answers, but he knew better than to press any further. If anything, he was more confused now than before about Cole’s sexuality.
He certainly never seemed gay, but his reaction to Shane’s questioning gave him pause in thinking he was entirely straight. Maybe it’d be best to just drop it for now so he wouldn’t confuse himself any further.
He glanced at Cole after a moment, nudging his arm as he spoke.
“You wanna go play pool or something?”