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Chapter Text

Eddie knew he had to move. He knew El Paso was straining him, wearing him thin between his parents' harsh judgements and the restrictions thrust upon Chris and the constant reminders of the reckless, impulsive decisions of his teenage years. Not bad decisions, how could ending up with Chris in his life be a bad decision? But becoming a teenage parent, a teenaged husband, then shipping himself off to the army to provide for his family until he gets shot. The consolation prize of war is a silver star that grows dusty in his closet and a lifetime supply of night terrors and survivor's guilt. His honorable discharge came just before his tour was set to end and by the time Chris was diagnosed with CP he wasn't even medically fit to consider reenlisting. He needed to work but he still needed to heal which meant his young family of three had no choice but to continue depending on his parents to help with finances and healthcare. Eddie was grateful, of course, but at the same time his gratefulness was thinning under the crushing weight of unjust judgments and the way he could see Shannon's resilience shatter. By the time he was physically recovered enough to think about working again, Eddie could hardly cope with the extreme swings from love and gratitude for his parents to the crushing guilt of disappointing them to the loud anger at them for being disappointed in him and his family at all. Living with them in El Paso was too much.

When Shannon's mom fell ill, they jumped at the excuse to escape.

It took five months, between the stress of the move, Chris's diagnosis, and Shannon's mother's illness for Eddie and Shannon to realize the stress of an unhappy marriage just wasn't worth it. Eddie suggested a break, Shannon suggested divorce. Which, okay, yeah, Eddie probably should've saw that one coming but that didn't make it hurt any less when she moved out of the house they barely unpacked together and into her mother's home.

So Eddie was stressed, a single father of a toddler who has CP, attending the fire academy, suddenly without a partner to help shoulder some of the pressure. Pepa and his Abuela have been godsends, assisting all they could, but in the end it was clear he needed help. He needed guidance. He scoured through ads and found a home care aide, Carla. It was a hard decision, but Eddie swallowed his pride. He used a little less electricity, bought a little less groceries, and paid a stranger to tell him what he needs to do to help his kid. It only made him want to punch the wall a little bit.

Carla was... not what Eddie was expecting. She wasn't judgey, she didn't tell Eddie what to do. Carla gave Eddie options. She made suggestions that weren't condescending. A special ed preschool that would help Chris receive OT, PT, and speech services, a developmental pediatrician that was affordable with Eddie's healthcare, and childcare services provided by none other than herself. Eddie still had to cut back some costs to afford it, but it was for the best that Abuela and Pepa weren't needed constantly to watch Chris while Eddie attended the academy. 

LA was new, intimidating, and at times overwhelming, but for the first time since Chris was born Eddie was starting to feel like maybe this was something he could do. Maybe he could be a dad, have a fulfilling career, own a house and raise his son and finally stop living his life in reaction to the world around him. Maybe he could do right by his boy.

"Everybody's alright," Carla spoke through the phone instead of saying any normal form of greeting.

Eddie felt his heart sink as he asked, "What happened?"

"Get the worry out of your voice, Eddie. Nobody got hurt."

"Carla-" Eddie's voice was walking the fine line between worried and furious. He was confused. He hates being confused. Carla was hired to help him be less confused, not make him more confused in increasingly worrying ways.

"Somebody crashed into my car," Carla said.

It was the sureness of the statement. Somebody crashed. It wasn't a little bump or fender bender. It wasn't a tap or hit. Somebody crashed into Carla's car.

"Where's Chris?" Eddie said it as less of a question and more of a demand.

"He's fine, Eddie. He's-" Carla had an understanding tone to her voice and it was starting to fuel Eddie's anger.

"Where-"

"Eddie, he's safe and smiling eating some cut up grapes in your front yard," Carla cut in, defensive edge to her voice, "Chris is safe, I'm safe. I told you everyone is fine, so can you bite your nerves for a minute and let me explain?"

"Yes ma'am," Eddie spoke through a sigh of relief. 

Eddie could hear Carla huff the ghost of an amused laugh into the phone before she spoke again, "I was street parked in front of your house. Chris and I were both inside playing with a shape sorter when we heard it from outside. A car crashed into mine, distracted driver. We're waiting on police and paramedics, should be here in a few minutes."

"Paramedics?" Eddie asked.

"When I said that nobody was hurt I meant me and Chris. Lady Gaga over there seems to have hit her head against her seat pretty bad," Carla's volume dropped a bit. She grumbled as though she both did and did not want to be overheard while speaking.

"Lady Gaga?" Eddie was blinking quickly as though the action could help him get a firm understanding of his own thoughts.

Carla chuckled to herself, "Yeah, get it? Cuz she was on her telephone."

The surrealness of the joke startled a laugh out of Eddie. He took a deep breath, letting the relief of his son's safety finally settle deep within his bones, "Is Chris scared? Do you need me to go there?"

Carla hade a disbelieving huff, "We are both safe and healthy and you need to get through your probie year without running off mid-shift."

"But if it's an emergency-"

"It's not," Carla reaffirmed, "the only casualty was my car."

Eddie felt himself wince as he asked, "How bad?"

"Not good," Carla answered, "Listen, Eddie, I'm not gonna be able to drive this anytime soon. And since I'm gonna need to get a tow truck I'm really not looking forward to needing to pay for an Uber tonight."

"Carla, I can pay for your Uber," Eddie suggested.

"Eddie, you will pay for your groceries," Carla countered.

"Then how will you-"

"I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner tonight. I don't wanna go just giving out your address to a stranger but it would just be to pick me up. Maybe drop me off a few times next week until I get a car back. But I don't want you to think I'm breaking confidentiality," Carla said.

Eddie wanted to argue that he could drop her off, he could pick her up or drop Chris off at her place for his upcoming shifts. But maybe Carla wasn't comfortable with clients showing up at her doorstep, or maybe Carla knew exactly how much the increased gas bill would impede on his house payments.

"I trust you. Ask your friend for a ride, but if for some reason she falls through I will be your personal chauffeur for as long as it takes," Eddie compromises in his answer. He still offers his help, but he let's Carla try her plan out first.

Carla chuckles, "I'll reach out to him and let you know."

At the pronoun Eddie feels his eyebrows shoot up. Before he can respond though, the alarm bell rings through station 6.

"I'll let you go," Carla says, "And I'll update you soon."

"Tell Chris I love him," Eddie rushes to say before he hangs up.

By the time Eddie was climbing out of the beat up old truck he moved to LA with, an equally beat up Jeep was pulling up alongside his house. He found himself glancing over his shoulder when he opened the back door to grab his work duffel, catching sight of a man exiting the Jeep. He was... surprisingly young. Maybe even a year or so younger than Eddie. He was tall and lean but had visible muscular definition even from Eddie's quick glances. Eddie didn't exactly expect Carla to be the kind of woman to go for a sexy younger boy toy, but good for her honestly.

The stranger looked over to Eddie as he locked the Jeep, flashing a sheepish smile and quick wave. He seemed to hesitate, then, almost as if he didn't know if he was allowed to move forward and step onto the property.

The sound of the front door opening caused both Eddie and the stranger to shift their focus to where Carla was now standing.

"Buckaroo!" She called with a smile.

The man seemed to take this as an invitation onto the property as he rushed to hug her where she stood.

Eddie approached them both, feeling a little awkward in his own front yard.

"You're just in time," Carla squeezed the man's shoulders as she pulled back from the embrace, "Eddie how was your shift?"

Eddie blinked at the sudden attention on him. He shook his attention away from the stranger and back to Carla, "No less eventful than your day, it seems."

Carla tutted, releasing the man's shoulders and using the back of her hand to lightly smack Eddie as she said, "I told you we were both perfectly safe."

"Thank God," Eddie nodded, shifting awkwardly on his feet. As relieved as he was everyone was safe, he really wanted to see his kid to confirm it. His anxiety was also beginning to grow stronger as the three of them stood there without any eyes on Chris in the house.

It seems Carla was on the same page as she began retreating through the door again, "I hate to rush out so quick Eddie, but I should be keeping Buck out of your hair."

At that the man -Buck?- rolled his eyes. Carla continued, "Let me just grab my bag and say bye to Chris and we'll be on our way."

She walked back into the house leading Eddie to awkwardly shift his weight again. He wanted to go inside and see his kid, but he also didn't want to leave this stranger out alone on his front porch. He cast a quick glance at the man only to find him already staring at Eddie. When Eddie made eye contact the man quickly shot his gaze to the door, before slowly turning back to Eddie.

"So, uh, you know Carla," The man said. He had a redness over one of his eyebrows that Eddie found his gaze drawn to.

Eddie wasn't quite sure how to respond to the statement of the obvious. He decided to feign ignorance, looking around with a confused expression and asking, "Carla who?"

The man pulled a funny expression, like he was amused but not enough to laugh and overall found the two sentence interaction with Eddie to be pretty strange. Eddie didn't blame him.

"Daddy!" A young voice rang out and Eddie found himself breaking into a full grin.

"Hey, Superman," Eddie greeted as Carla passed him from her hold into his own. Chris immediately held tight, arms hugging around Eddie's neck while Eddie found an easy grip on his legs.

"Goodbye you two," Carla spoke fondly.

"Bye Carla!" Chris called.

"Hey, you tell me any changes to our schedule we need to make, okay? Seriously, I'm so glad you're both safe," Eddie made sure to hold Carla's gaze, trying to have every ounce of sincerity possible leak through his words.

"I'll let you know if anything changes, but I'm sure I can get this all worked out soon enough," Carla said.

The man beside her hummed, looking like he knew exactly what Eddie did: that Carla absolutely would get a handle on this faster than anyone else ever could. At least Carla's boy respected her, it seemed.

The pair walked back towards the Jeep and Eddie and Chris waved them off. Once the car was pulling away Chris asked, "Who's that?"

"I think he's Carla's boyfriend," Eddie replied, walking his son into the house, "He's gonna be helping her get to our house while her car is being all fixed up."

Eddie catches sight of the man with the Jeep twice more before the weekend. Once was just a glance of the man driving away after dropping Carla off at his house. The next was when he went to pick Carla up from his house. Eddie had just returned from a long and tiring shift and his social battery felt beyond depleted. He's spent the day being hit on, hazed, vomited on, bled on, and teased. Right now he just didn't have the energy to try and make small talk with this "Buck" guy. So it went about as awkwardly as the last time, only apparently Eddie wasn't hiding the weight of exhaustion as well as he thought.

"You okay, man?" The man had asked.

"I'll be better when I get inside," Eddie replied in a harsher tone than he anticipated using.

The man's expression turned defensive, "Then head inside, dude. Don't gotta babysit me on your front porch, I'm just waiting for Carla."

He had taken it as a personal dig, that much was clear. But Eddie couldn't clarify, much less apologize, before Carla was ushering the two of them to the man's Jeep. It wasn't even that Eddie didn't trust the man. Well, he didn't, but he didn't know the guy. He didn't not trust him either. It just felt rude to leave him alone on the porch but also strange to invite him in right as Carla was scheduled to leave. It was just awkward on top of awkward and Eddie was just hoping he didn't damage his and Carla's rapport by pissing off her partner.

Eddie was glad the weekend was here. Carla's repairs should be done by the end of his 48 off so Eddie won't have to deal with anymore awkward encounters with the man.

It's a Saturday morning, the weather is gorgeous, and Eddie has 48 hours of uninterrupted quality time with his kid. It's the beautiful kind of day that makes Eddie feel like stress is an unimaginable concept. When he sees the extra twenty dollar bill in his wallet that day, he decides to take his kid to a cafe and spoil him with a fancy chocolate milk piled high with whipped cream and sprinkles. Maybe take him on a walk around the park after so he could get used to his new walker. The here year old always had energy to spare. Soon enough he'll be able to switch to crutches, maybe by the time he's five.

As Eddie held the door to the cafe open, Chris moved himself through. Eddie saw his eyes light up and he moved immediately to the table closest to the door.

"Chris, buddy. The counter's this way," Eddie quickly caught up with his son who was still moving towards the tables.

"Dad, look! It's Carla's boyfriend," Chris spoke. His speech still carried a youthful lisp, but his words were easy enough to make out, especially the "B" and "R" sounds. Sure enough, the familiar man turned around from where he sat at the table and looked at Chris and Eddie. His eyebrows were raised, eyes were wide, and red mark still sitting above his eyebrow.

"Boyfriend?" The other man at the table asked, raising his eyebrows.

The man -it was 'Buck,' right?- gave Chris a confused look as he said, "Not boyfriend," then he turned to the man across from him, his back now turned to Eddie and Chris, and very passionately insisted, "Carla is just my friend."

The other man crossed his arms, seemingly unimpressed, "That so? Not something you're trying to figure out?"

Buck's eyebrows drew together, "Uh... No? She's a good friend, not much more to figure out."

"So how'd you meet that friend of yours"? The man asked, sparing a moment to throw a glance at Eddie and look him up and down in a way that almost felt invasive. Eddie had a deep-rooted desire to run away from the growing tension but found his eyes glued to the scene in front of him. He should be backing up, he should be shuffling away and guiding Chris towards the counter, but his curiosity was peaked.

"Well, uh," Buck rubbed the back of his neck, "My ex-girlfriend kinda introduced us."

"Girlfriend," The man repeated.

"Ex-girlfriend," Buck emphasized.

"I didn't realize you were new to this," The man rolled his eyes.

Buck pulled a confused expression, "New to what?"

The man flicked his hand in between himself and Buck as if the gesture explained everything. And maybe it did to Buck, who's expression immediately turned defensive, but Eddie was still utterly confused.

Buck leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and saying, "Who said I'm new to it?"

"The ex-girlfriend, for starter," The man responded, "Or don't tell me you're still in the bisexual phase of all of this."

Buck tensed immediately, then let his shoulders drop while he grumbled, "And we were having such a great time."

"Oh, come on, man," The guy across from Buck rolled his eyes, "It gets much easier to be yourself when you stop pretending you're half-straight."

Eddie should really be leaving. He should really be walking away. Why the hell wasn't he walking away? But, the guy was kinda talking like the antagonist in a teen drama. Like, seriously? This was the kind of talk Eddie hardly heard outside of high school locker rooms back in Texas and here the dude was, out and about in LA, talking like a total jackass. Eddie kinda wanted to hear what would happen next, so he hovered, not unlike when he would stand just outside the room of his Abuela watching telenovelas while he was younger.

Buck let out a sigh as he looked at his date. Ex-date? This was a date, right? He and Chris clearly just ruined a date. Oh god, this is so much worse than snapping at Buck on the porch. Buck was seeming almost bored when he asked, "So are you ending this because I'm bi or am I ending this because you're an asshole?"

The man looked affronted. He gave a sharp laugh and then stood from the table.

"I am ending this. Because you," He took his hand and began gesturing his open palm in a circular motion at all of Buck, "seem way too complicated."

He walked away, storming out of the front door while Buck didn't even bother to turn and watch him leave.

"Wait, no, don't go," Buck spoke in a low deadpan, clearly talking to himself. He turned to look at the half eaten plates of breakfast in front of him and continued, "Oh, the Check? No, no. Don't worry, my treat."

One deep breath later Eddie watched from behind as Buck smiled towards the counter, waving his hand and making a signature motion with his hand to signal for the check, but stopped mid-movement and did a double take to turn his head a little more to be looking at Eddie again. 

They both froze while holding the eye contact for a moment. This was so much more awkward than the last conversation on the porch had been. 

Buck leaned his elbow on the table, rotating his upper body to be sitting sideways in the chair and able to see Eddie more easily. He raised an unimpressed brow, "Enjoy the show?"

Shit. This was so much more awkward. What was Eddie supposed to say? 'Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, but watching that was like watching a car wreck: You're cringing and don't want to watch but can't find yourself able to look away.'

Eddie's still searching for his voice when Chris speaks up, "Did I make you fight?"

Eddie looks to his son who is staring at Buck. Chris's eyes are welling up with tears and his grip on his walker is shaking underneath him.

Buck takes in the sight of Chris and Eddie watches as his expressions shift. First he was clearly deeply annoyed with Eddie having watched the car wreck private conversation between him and the other man, then he grew visibly confused at Chris's words, then -as he took in the sight of Chris on the verge of tears- Buck softened his expression completely. His eyebrows relaxed and he moved forward to hang his arms over the chair and lean down to make eye contact with Chris. He gave a soft smile as he spoke, "Hey, of course not, Bud. You didn't do anything wrong, okay kid?"

Chris's tears still didn't stop flowing, "Really?"

"Yeah, of course, bud. Me and him... I couldn’t see myself dating him for long anyway," Buck said while making a flippant gesture with his hand.

“I made you break up?” Chris yelled out, causing an awful lot of heads to turn their way. 

It would have been comedic, the way Buck's eyes widened at Chris's tears, if it wasn't for the fact that Chris was indeed crying. Buck rushed to stammer out, "No! No, th-this was just a first date buddy."

"Were you in love?" Chris tried to ask, but his heavy breaths made it sound more like "wheryoo nlov?"

"Buddy, what?" Buck asked, flashing a panicked look at Eddie, who was a bit frozen at the moment.

"You loved him!" Chris yelled again, properly enunciating this time.

"Hey, superman, inside voice buddy. It's okay-" Eddie began. He moved a gentle hand onto Chris's shoulder to try and direct his attention away from Buck, but Chris shook his head harshly.

"Dad, I made them fight!" Chris insisted and Eddie's heart absolutely broke. Nothing hurt as much as watching his son cry and feeling so powerless and so incredibly awkward and so unable to get a handle on the situation. Chris was looking at the floor and sniffled Buck's eyes didn't leave the crying kid again.

Buck tapped his chair twice to catch Chris's attention and gave the boy another gentle smile, "Hey, bud. It's okay. I promise. You didn't do or say anything wrong. But, uh, you do know I'm not Carla's boyfriend, right? Why did... Why did you think that?"

"Dad said..." Chris trailed off, finally glancing up towards Eddie. Eddie, who was still standing there, looking between the two, unable to find any words to address the situation.

"Well, I hope your dad knows it's okay for a boy and a girl to be just friends," Buck filled in, looking at Eddie with a guarded expression.

This, of all things, was what finally shook Eddie out of the limbo he was trapped in.

"He does," Eddie answered, talking in third person like a completely normal person would, "And he's sorry, for the record. About..."

Eddie gestured with his hand in a movement he hoped conveyed all of this. Buck seemed to understand, smiling in a way that looks unimpressed but still just slightly amused.

It was then that a server approached them, customer service voice activated when they said, "Hi there. Are you two gonna be joining the table?"

Eddie had to give them credit for how willing they were to ignore the awkward scene they just watched unfold. Life in LA, he supposed. But still he blinked and was trying to search for a reason to explain why he and his three year-old were loitering where a very bad date just ended very publicly.

"Just the check for me," Buck cut in with a more neutral smile, "these guys are, uh..."

"Just getting drinks to go," Eddie finished explaining, sending a grateful look at Buck.

"Okay, well you two can head up to the counter for that," The server said to Eddie. Then they turned to Buck and asked, "Did you need any boxes for any thing?"

Buck shook his head, "Maybe just a to go cup for the drink."

"Let me buy you a fresh one," Eddie cut in, words leaving his mouth before he realized he was speaking.

Buck seemed just as surprised as Eddie did, blinking up at him when he asked, "Oh. Uh, are you sure?"

"Least we can do," Eddie nodded, instead of saying 'No, I'm not sure. Every second we spend together is so incredibly awkward I'd much rather us part ways and never have to see each other again.'

Buck hesitated only a few seconds before turning to the server, "Just the check for me. Thanks."

He turned back to Eddie and added on, "I'll meet you at the counter?"

"Yeah, uh, sounds good," Eddie agreed. He nodded in acknowledgement of the server then moved to help guide Chris to the counter a few feet away.

Leaving the cafe was... not as awkward as Eddie expected. Buck had joined them at the counter after only a moment, paying his bill and dropping some cash in the tip jar. He told the barista helping Eddie what his drink was, listing two too many flavors for Eddie to bother remembering and some form of milk substitution, and waited quietly with Eddie and Chris at the counter. The waiting for drinks was the most awkward part, Buck being quiet and Chris wiping the last few tear stains from his face. The barista passed Buck his drink and Eddie took hold of his coffee and Chris's chocolate milk while Chris used both of his arms to slowly progress with his walker. Buck strolled slowly besides them, matching Chris's pace with an easy smile and holding the door open for both Eddie and Chris once they reached it.

"Thank you, for the refill. You didn't have to," Buck said as the three of them exited. 

"Seriously, the least I could've done," Eddie tries to meet Buck's eyes with a sheepish smile. Remarkably, Buck smiles back.

"So what are you guys up to on this beautiful day," Buck asks, looking more to Chris than at Eddie. Eddie finds his smile turning a little more genuine.

"The park!" Chris answers excitedly.

"Yup," Eddie confirms, "Big walking day for superman over here."

He feels a wave of pride wash over him watching his son smile broadly and nod.

"The one round the corner? It's got a pretty cute duck pond," Buck nods his head toward the park.

"Baby ducks?" Chris asks excitedly, having it sound more like he's saying "Day-dee ducks?"

Buck's smile turns a little sheepish when he answers, "Well, maybe not babies this late in the year. Might be a few teenaged ducks left, if you're lucky."

Chris, surprisingly, doesn't seem disappointed by the lack of baby ducks. He seems just excited about the duck pond in general. He smiles at Buck and asks, "Will you show us?"

Buck's eyes widen and he looks at Eddie, a small blush growing on his cheeks, and begins to stutter, "Oh, uh..."

Eddie meets his eyes and immediately sees the flood of uncertainty. Right. Buck was supposed to spend his morning on a date which Eddie and Chris interrupted. He was supposed to be out, be social, and not spend his Saturday with a friend-of-a-friend (who Buck didn't even seem to really like all that much) and his talkative 3 year old. He probably just didn't know how to politely turn Chris down.

Eddie spoke to Chris, "Carla's friend probably needs to get going, bud."

Buck looks down quickly and clears his throat, "Uh, right. I should, uh, I should get going."

He pauses and all of a sudden the weighted awkwardness that seems to follow Eddie whenever he's in the general proximity of this man returns full force. He seems almost disappointed and Eddie has a split second to think maybe he was looking for permission rather than for an excuse. But before Eddie can address it the man begins to speak again, "I'm Buck, by the way."

Buck. It was Buck. That was how he introduced himself, not just some pet name Carla dropped. Buck, who was not dating Carla. 

"Eddie," Eddie gestured to himself, two hands full of to go cups. Buck smiled at the way some of Eddie's coffee splashed out of his lid and onto his hand.

"No!" Chris cut in. Eddie and Buck both turned to the kid in surprise and waited for Chris to continue, "You need to show us where the ducks are!"

Buck raised a hand to rub the back of his head, "You can't miss it, buddy. Sidewalk will lead you right to it. I'm sure your dad will find it."

"Promise?" Chris asked Buck.

Buck turned to Eddie, "Feel confident?"

Part of Eddie wanted to say no. Part of Eddie wanted to ask Buck to tag along and join them like Chris had done so easily just a moment ago. But Eddie had already crashed Buck's date, he didn't need to take up any more of Buck's time. So, Eddie ignored the want to ask Buck to show them to the pond and instead smiled when he answered, "We'll figure it out."

Buck nodded and smiled back. Chris turned to his dad with a pout, "Can we feed the ducks too?"

Eddie gave his son a soft chuckle, "I don't have any breadcrumbs on me, bud."

"You shouldn't feed ducks bread," Buck says. When Eddie turns to meet his eyes again he finds Buck seems to look surprised that he spoke.

"Oh?" Eddie prompted.

"Yeah," Buck says as his cheeks flush a bit more, "It's, like, bad for them actually. Can make them more aggressive, too."

"What do ducks eat?" Chris inquires, staring at Buck like learning about duck-diets is the most interesting thing in the world.

"I think you can feed them, like, peas and corn and stuff," Buck replies.

"Peas and corn and stuff?" Eddie repeats, tone and smile just bordering the edge of teasing.

"Uh, yeah," Buck avoids eye contact. The awkwardness of Buck and Eddie is still lingering in the background of the exchange. Eddie almost feels bad at the way Buck was suddenly turning almost shy.

"We'll have to keep that in mind for next time," Eddie says with a smile.

Buck smiles back politely. Eddie takes a moment just to look at him. Buck's eyes are bright and blue. His hair is combed and styled. The red mark on his brow is still as bright as the first day Eddie met him. He almost goes to ask Buck about it but then-

"Can we go find the ducks now?" Chris is getting impatient.

"Sure thing, bud," Eddie answers easily, smiling at his kid. He turns to Buck, "We'll, uh, see you around?"

"Yeah," Buck responds, "It was cool running into you guys."

Eddie raises his eyebrows in disbelief, thinking back to the date that Buck -in theory- should still be on right now. Buck laughs at his expression and before Eddie can even call Buck on his bullshit Buck insists, "Seriously. Worth it for a fresh drink."

He raises his cup towards Eddie with a nod and begins walking towards the parking  lot near the cafe. Eddie finds himself smiling as he watches.

The duck pond was a bit further into the park than Eddie intended on walking. By the time he and Chris reached the bench it was clear Chris was exhausted. They sat on the bench, drinking their respective drinks. Chris watches the ducks in pure delight, insisting he and Eddie need to come back with 'peas and corn and stuff' so that next time the ducks can have a treat too. When he asks Eddie to point out which ducks are "teenagers" Eddie picks and chooses a small one at random. Eddie wonders if, if Buck came, he would be able to tell for certain. He thinks Buck probably would, but he has no real point of reference to know for sure. After a while, their empty cups thrown in the trash, Eddie ends up needing to carry Chris back from the park. He has Chris's walker, collapsed, looped through his arm while he carries his tired son away from the pond, but Eddie has to admit it was worth it to see his son smile.

Eddie doesn't see Buck for a few weeks after that. He only ever thinks of Buck in passing. A comment or two shared between Carla and Chris, a moment when he's buying peas and corn for Chris to be able to feed the ducks, when he and Chris visit the duck pond two more times. There's no real reason to keep thinking about Buck, not unless he's mentioned or if Eddie is doing something to do with ducks. Eddie has a lot more to focus on. His job, for one. It's hard to learn exactly how to blend into the dynamics at station 6. It's not that he doesn't fit in, but he's still new. He's a probie, but he's wet behind the ears from his army days. It's an interesting dynamic to say the least.

He's had some interesting calls, too. Must be something in the water in LA.  Though mostly, the calls seem pretty standard. Car wrecks, backyard grilling gone wrong, a downed powerline every now and again. Most calls were pretty simple to get through, like this call: A school alarm set off from a faulty kitchen toaster. The truck still had to roll out, confirm that everything was okay for the staff and students to return to the building.

His team showed up and did their cursory walk through. His captain had a not-too-stern talking to about the kitchen machinery needing to be properly maintained and checked through, especially now that the school year's began again and the equipment is being used regularly. As the team is packing up, lights still flashing on the truck, Eddie can hear the kids in the yard across the parking lot laughing with each other and talking about their school "catching on fire."

"Man, we're like heroes to those guys," Murphey says with pride in his voice.

Eddie snorts, "I think most of them are just hoping school's gonna close. They'll hate us when they start filing back into the building."

"No way, dude. Just wait for fire day. We show up to the school, flashing lights and big trucks and letting them try on our helmets. Nothing is cooler to a kid than a real life fire fighter," Murphey insists.

Eddie rolled his eyes, "Sounds like a good way to catch lice."

Murphey lets out a laugh, "Not a big fan of kids, Diaz?"

Before Eddie can respond, his attention is caught by a group of kids screaming across the field. He can barely make out the yell for "Medic!" before he and Murphey are moving towards the commotion. They run through the crowd of students and staff, calling to clear a path. It's a bit chaotic, teachers trying to wrangle their classes away from whatever is going on. They finally grow close to where the screaming kids are formed in a circle and Eddie almost freezes when he starts to make his way through the more concentrated gathering of kids.

Buck is there, crouching next to where a young girl is twitching on the ground. She's laying on her side, Buck hovering with a few inches of space between him and the trembling girl.

"Hold her down!" An adult woman calls as she parts through the student and rushed toward the girl.

Buck quickly puts his hand out, stopping the woman before she gets too close to the girl and says, "Do not hold her down."

"Paramedic!" Murphey announces as he and Eddie break through to the center of the circle, their captain following close behind.

"She's epileptic," Buck says, not taking his eyes off the girl, "Her nasal spray is locked in the nurse's office inside."

"We got her," Murphey says as he and Eddie crouch next to the girl, "Diaz, I need-"

"Got it," Eddie hands Murphey the diazepam he was pulling from the bag as soon as he heard 'epilepsy.' He doesn't know if Buck recognized him, he can't spare a second to look over at Buck's reaction to him being on the scene if there is any.

"Is she gonna die?" A child asks.

Eddie can hear Buck reassuring them, "No, no. The paramedics are helping. They're taking care of her."

"She's dying!" Another voice insists.

"Hey," Buck cuts through, a little more sternly, "She's gonna be just fine."

The kids are all talking over each other:

"Is she sick?"

"Did she get us all sick?"

"Are we all gonna get fall too?" 

"Room 13!" Buck seems to call all of their attention. Then, he speaks with a gentle calmness to his voice, "Bea is not contagious. She's okay. We know how to help her, the paramedics know how to help her even better. I know it's scary but everything is going to be okay. See? She's already not shaking anymore."

And the girl -Bea- isn't. Eddie and Murphey are watching her trembling stop as their captain is waving over a stretcher, struggling to get through the crowd on the grassy field. Eddie can see the frustration growing on his captain's face, the frightened students staring at Buck and not moving out of the way.

"Hey, Buck," Eddie calls out before even thinking about speaking. Buck's attention snaps to Eddie who nods at the stretcher still a few feet back and asks, "Can you call the class to the side?"

"Let the firefighters through, guys," Buck tells the students, who all move closer to where he's standing off to the side leaving an easy path for the stretcher to make it the rest of the way through. Eddie nods in thanks and Buck nods back, seemingly unfazed by Eddie's presence. Either he already noticed Eddie before or genuinely did not care about the fact that Eddie was a first responder on the scene. He probably didn't care. Eddie kind of hoped Buck noticed him before, though.

Eddie helps Murphey get Bea onto the stretcher and lets Murphey and Jones, his partner paramedic, start rolling the stretcher back to their ambulance.

"Are you in charge?" Captain Johnson asked towards where Buck and the woman from before were standing.

"I'm the vice principal," The woman from earlier stepped forward. Captain Johnson was beginning to explain to her the next steps of the process: Bea would be taken to the hospital for a look over, parents or guardians needed to be contacted, etc. Eddie tuned it out. He stepped towards Buck instead.

"You know first aid," He said. It was a statement, not a question.

Buck cleared his throat before answering, "A bit, uh, I was a pool lifeguard for a bit in high school."

"Didn't know that covered seizure training," Eddie raised his eyebrows.

Buck flushed a bit, "Well, I did a little further research when I got my class list."

"You're a teacher," Eddie said, another obvious statement.

"You're a paramedic," Buck replied.

"Firefighter," Eddie corrected, "But, uh, was a medic in the army."

Buck raised his eyebrows and went to respond, but before he could the woman spoke again, "Mr. Buckley, we can start bringing the students back inside."

Mr. Buckley. So 'Buck' was a nickname after all. Unless his full name was 'Buck Buckley,' which Eddie thought was unlikely.

"We still have school?" A chorus of groaning children exclaimed.

"Alright, line up room 13. Nice a quiet, you guys know the drill," Buck clapped his hands and the kids seemed to listen, although not without quite a few rolling their eyes. Then Buck turned to the vice principal, "You want me to draft out a letter to their parents filling them in or is administration going to handle that?"

"Beatrice's parents will be-"

"These kids are scared. They saw their friend having a seizure. They're gonna tell their parents," Buck cut in.

Eddie didn't get the chance to hear how the vice principle responded, Captain Johnson clapped him on the shoulder and told him to help finish packing up. He tried to catch Buck's eye, wave a goodbye or something along that line, but Eddie had to follow his boss and Buck was preoccupied with his class and the vice principal. They each had a job to do, so Eddie went back to work.

He almost managed to forget about running into Buck on a call. The way Buck was calm and level in a stressful situation. They way Buck comforted and lead a class full of scared kids. The way Buck blushed in admitting he independently looked into what to do if one of his students had a seizure. He had really almost forgotten, or at least almost convinced himself he was on the brink of forgetting about it, until Murphey and Jones corned him while he was pouring a mug of coffee back at the firehouse.

"You didn't mention your friend worked at the school we were responding to," Murphey prompted.

Eddie just shrugged and finished filling his mug. He gave the excuse, the honest truth, "I didn't know."

"You didn't know?" Jones looked like she didn't believe him.

"Friend of a friend," He said, as if that would explain everything. And honestly? It did.

Eddie ignored Jones' disbelieving ask of "Is that what you're calling it?"

Because yes, that's all he and Buck were. Two independent friends of Carla. Hell, Eddie was technically her employer, he wasn't even sure he and Carla counted as friends. He hoped they did. He thought they were. Maybe Eddie needed a few more friends in LA, though. More than his aunt and abuela and his son's caretaker and his sorta-kinda mutual acquaintanceship with his son's caretaker's friend. Maybe next time Murphey and Jones invite Eddie to join them for drinks after his shift, he'll say yes.

Eddie did say yes a week and a half later. When Murphey and Jones ask him to join them at a bar, they thankfully asked in advance. It gave Eddie enough time to check and double check and triple check that Carla would be okay to watch Chris for a few hours more.

She agreed, enthusiastically, even. She even went as far as to throw in a comment of "It's about time you did something for yourself, Eddie."

So Eddie did, he went out with coworkers. Coworkers who could drink, it seems. Three rounds of shots to start off the night, and now Eddie was nursing a beer to try to slow down just a bit. It was loud, it was crowded, but it was nice. It was really nice to be out with some people and to be telling jokes, passing stories back and forth while they sat at the end of the bar. They had to yell over the music to hear each other talk but the laughter was loud enough to be heard across the room.

"No, I'm serious!" Jones spoke through her laughter, "We were just about to load him into the ambulance when his wife pulled in the driveway!"

Eddie balked, "So the woman he was with inside..."

Murphey smirked, "The naughty boy had himself a mistress."

Jones smacked Murphey for saying it like that, but she laughed along anyway.

"I'm telling you, man," Murphey spoke over the music, "In this job we catch wind of all of LA's residents' dirtiest secrets."

"And so many shower sex fails," Jones cut in.

"So many!" Murphey agreed.

Eddie couldn't help but to laugh along with them. The story sounded like something straight out of a telenovela his abuela would love to watch, he only wished he knew what the fallout was.

"I'm glad you came, man," Jones said with a smile.

"Yeah," Murphey agreed, "We were starting to think you were avoiding us outside the station. What are you normally up to these nights?"

And Eddie was ready to tell them. He was gonna tell them about Chris, about the light of his life waiting for him back at home, when Murphey's eyes seemed to catch on something behind Eddie. 

Jones seemed to see it too, her gaze following Murphey's. She asked, "Hey isn't that your friend-of-a-friend?"

Eddie felt a strange swoop in his chest at the words. Buck? Sure enough, when Eddie whipped his head around, Buck was standing about four seats down at the bar. He was leaning with one elbow propping him up, talking to a woman with wavy blonde hair. He was smirking slightly, letting his hand touch hers only briefly. Buck was here at the bar, flirting with a woman just a few seats down from where Eddie was standing. Eddie felt that familiar awkward sensation creeping into his chest.

He watched a little captivated, looking at the way Buck's fingers grazed the woman's hand but never grabbed. Watching as Buck's eyebrows danced above his smirk. He wondered what the flirty tone of Buck's voice would sound like, confident and sure as he spoke.

"Hey teach!" Murphey called, eyes wide and grin wider.

Of course, Buck didn't hear over the noise of the bar but Eddie still recoiled at the yelling right next to him. He was the one to slap Murphey's arm this time as he asked, "What are you doing?"

Murphey seemed confused for a second, his eyebrows scrunching, "Isn't that the teacher you know though?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Let's say hi!" Murphey started to stand, sharing a knowing grin with Jones.

"Let's not do that!" Eddie tried to pull him back down to his seat.

"Oh, come on, dude. Best way for us to learn about you is to immerse ourselves in your social life," Murphey wriggled his eyebrows at Eddie then back to Jones who was still matching his drunken smirk with her mischievous grin.

Eddie tried to turn to Jones for a voice of reason, "No, come on."

But Jones was standing with a little giggle. Between her and Murphey they were able to drag him from his seat before Eddie got the chance to emphasize that this, this singular night out with his teammates, could sum up the entirety of his social life since moving to LA. Before Eddie got the chance to emphasize that Buck was hardly even a friend-of-a-friend and that Buck was clearly busy...

"Hey teach!" Murphey called again, this time close enough to Buck to actually capture his attention. He glanced over, eyebrows slightly furrowed, then his eyes growing a little wider when he caught sight of Eddie standing behind Murphey and Jones.

Eddie was spinning from the alcohol and all he could do was look at Buck.

"Oh, uh, hey," Buck said, eyes darting quickly between the three, back over to the girl on his left, then back over to where Eddie stood. Eddie tried to make a gesture that communicated 'I'm so sorry' but when his eyebrows raised and his hands spread out helplessly he's pretty sure all that got communicated was 'I don't know. Help?'

The woman next to Buck turned to the three of them who were now crowding her and Buck against the bar as well. She was pretty, now that Eddie could see her face. She wore red lipstick, dark eyeshadow, and her dress was short around her legs and low around her chest. She gestured with her cocktail between Buck and the whole of Eddie's group and asked, "You guys know each other?"

Buck, who Eddie had seen smirking so confidently just moments ago, seemed completely thrown off his game. He stumbled, "Well, uh..."

Murphey cut in, eyeing the woman up and down, "We were hoping Eddie would introduce us to his friends. But, uh, I take it now you're not the friend that Diaz and the teach both know."

She seemed to smirk a bit at the attention while Buck's eyebrows just furrowed together at the sight. She spoke in response, "No, I'm not."

"Shame," Murphey smiled, "I was hoping to get an introduction."

"Samantha," She stuck out her hand to shake.

"Pretty name for a pretty girl," Murphey shook her hand holding eye contact, "I'm Alex."

"Alex," The girl -Samantha- repeats.

Buck just stares at the two. Eddie forcefully clears his throat and steps on Murphey's foot in a way he hopes is subtle but given his current level of intoxication, especially since he stood up, probably was incredibly obvious.

"Oh, right," Murphey said, "Eddie came over to say hi to his friend."

"Oh," Samantha said, then turned to Buck, "I mean if you wanted to catch up with your friend then uh," She turned slightly more towards Murphey, looking him up and down, "Maybe Alex and I could leave you guys to chat. Head over to the dance floor?"

Murphey looked over to Buck, raising his eyebrows in question. Buck just blinked for a moment.

"Oh, uh," He started, "Yeah. Yeah, I'll just, uh," He gestured his hand flippantly and smiled tight, "Catch up with Eddie, here."

When Buck looked over at him, look of exasperated disbelief in his eyes, Eddie was sure his own expression was too much in shock to convey the guilt he was feeling.

"Sounds good to me," Murphey smiled, leading Samantha away by the hand.

For a moment, as they walked away, Jones and Eddie could do nothing but stare after them. When Eddie turned back to look at Buck he saw the other man just staring blankly at him. Another moment of silence passed between the three in the crowded bar.

Buck was the one to break it, saying, "I think your coworker just stole my girl."

That was all it took for Jones to burst out into hysterics.

Eddie was mortified, "Oh my god, I am so sorry Buck."

He tried to convey his sympathy, his own embarrassment for the situation, but with the sound of hysterical laughter next to him and the alcohol coursing through his veins he couldn't help the chuckle arising in his chest at the mere absurdity of the situation. He needed to get himself in check. He turned to Jones with a desperate plea, "Jones, please stop laughing."

It seemed that speaking only made his own laughter bubble up more and he tried to insist, "It's not funny. It's so not funny, I am so sorry and," Eddie had to pause and catch his breath, schooling his laughter back down, "Let me buy you a drink. Seriously, I'm so sorry about Murphey. Can I buy you a drink?"

When he managed to finally return his eye contact to Buck, he was relieved to see the other man wearing a small smile. Buck seemed almost amused. He gestured to the now open bar space next to him, an invitation, but said "Careful, Diaz. You buying me drinks after crashing my dates is beginning to become a habit."

Jones doubled over again and exclaimed, "This has happened before?"

Then the three of them were in hysterics. It's a wheezing laugh, Jones snorting and nearly spilling the beer in her hand, and Buck laughing so hard it's just the sound of air. Eddie sort of wishes he could hear it better over the volume of the bar. Is that normal? To want to hear what other people laugh like? Eddie's a bit too drunk to care.

Buck is the first to find his voice, "I swear, I was nearly an hour into a date -a real date, not just a flirt at the bar-" and for a moment Eddie is relieved that Murphey didn't steal a real date from Buck, "and everything was going well until not even two minutes into Eddie and his kid showing up, my date's storming out the door."

Buck spoke with a chuckle, a layer of amusement still coating his words, but Eddie feels the guilt return. He barely has time to process the feeling before Jones is asking, "Whoa, you got a kid?"

Eddie can see Buck's eyes go wide when he turns to look at Jones then back at Eddie. Buck starts to speak, "Shit, man, I didn't know-"

"I got a kid," Eddie confirms, cutting off Buck. He's smiling at Jones and saying, "The reason why I've been 'bailing' on all your invites out."

"Shit, Diaz, what's next? You married?" Jones asks. It's not pressing. A subtle, reasonable question about Chris's mom, one that Eddie could deflect if he really wanted to.

Eddie didn't really want to. Maybe it was liquid courage but he found himself offering up more information, "Divorced, actually. Kid's mom isn't in the picture."

Jones's eyes go wide, "Shit, dude. You need to come out with us more often. Feels like I've learned more tonight than in the past few months."

Eddie snorts, "Well, now my excuse is not only that I've got a kid at home but that I've seen what Murphey's like a after a few shots."

Jones snorts too, and Eddie hears Buck chuckle. It was a nice sound, though still a bit too quiet.

"Speaking of that," Buck starts to say. Eddie turns to him and finds Buck looking at him inquisitively, and Eddie has the realization somewhere in the back of his mind that he's not just opening up to Jones, his teammate he needs to be able to trust with his life, but he's opening up to his friend-of-a-friend who he seems unable to avoid awkward interactions with. When Buck continues, Eddie's attention fully on him now, he says, "I think you mentioned owing me a drink."

Eddie huffs a laugh and moves to stand next to Buck at the bar.

"I suppose I did," He smiles, then turns to Jones, "You want a refill?"

She returns his smile, but shakes her head, "Nah, I outa close out. Starting to feel my eyes droop."

"You got a safe way home?" Eddie asks.

"I'll call an Uber. Damn you're such a dad aren't you," She seems to chuckle at the fact that she is, of course, correct, "You always on your kid's ass about making it home for curfew?"

Eddie rolls his eyes, "My kid is three."

"A baby!" Jones almost squeals.

"He's not a-" Eddie starts, feeling his defensiveness come through. He's used to the judgement of Chris's disability and, yeah, he's young but he's not, like, a baby baby. He doesn't even get the chance to realize that Jones doesn't even know about Chris's CP before she's clapping Eddie on the shoulder and interrupting him, "You should try and swing him 'round the station some time."

That's all it took, that open invitation, for Eddie's defensiveness to bleed away. He smiles back at her, "Yeah we'll see."

Jones flags down the bartender to close out her tab and with her Uber ordered and arriving soon she turns to Eddie and Buck, "Alright Diaz, I'll see you next shift. It was cool to meet you outside the job, uh..."

"Buck," Buck offers his hand to shake. Eddie cringes a bit at the realization he was so caught up in conversation he never even introduced the two.

"Holly Jones," Jones accepts the handshake, "You boys get home safe."

"You too," Eddie nods at her, "Want a walk to the car?"

"I can handle it, dad," Jones says with a wink, "Appreciate it, though."

Then she's off with a smirk and leaves Eddie and Buck to themselves at the bar.

"Your team is cool," Buck says, before the awkwardness of being alone can settle between the two. But then Buck looks over Eddie's shoulder and towards the open space of the bar that is serving as a makeshift dance floor and adds on, "Well Holly is anyway."

Eddie follows Buck's gaze to where Murphey and the girl from earlier -Sarah?- are grinding against each other, off-beat and not quite matching the vibe of the rock music that's playing. Eddie cringes at the sight and turns to Buck with an apologetic glance, "What are you drinking?"

Buck barks out a laugh and asks, "That beer any good?"

Eddie waves the bartender back over and gets another two beers, one for each of them, and Buck clinks the neck of his bottle against Eddie's in thanks. He watches Buck take a sip, a little caught up in the casualness of them moment. The two of them, out at a bar, standing next to each other as the music is blasting. He should really say something, break the silence before it grows too awkward, but he doesn't really know what to say. In the end, all he comes up with, "It's weird to hear her called Holly."

"Oh?" Buck asks, the eyebrow with the red mark raised in question. Eddie blinks away before he gets the chance to stare at the mark too long.

"Jones, I mean," Eddie clarifies.

Buck chuckles, "Yeah, I assumed we were talking about the same Holly Jones who just left."

Eddie winces a bit, because Buck is right, obviously. He goes on to say, "I mean, we just tend to use last names round the firehouse."

"Should I be calling you Diaz then?"

Eddie rolls his eyes and replies, "God, no. Drives me kind of crazy actually."

He's taking a sip of his beer when Buck asks, "Why?"

"Makes me feel like I'm back in fatigues."

"Army, right?" Buck asks, and Eddie is a little touched Buck remembers. Buck seems to remember a lot, his veteran status mentioned once, his last name overheard in passing...

"That's the one," Eddie confirms. He really hopes Buck's not about to grill him about his service days. He takes another drink to avoid looking at Buck when the inevitable questions start pouring out.

But Buck doesn't ask where he was stationed. Buck doesn't ask what made him leave. Buck doesn't ask why he enlisted. Instead, he asks, "Is Eddie short for Edwardo then?"

Eddie blinks a bit in surprise, and simply responds with a, "No."

"Eddie's your full name?" Buck asks to clarify, taking a sip of his beer.

"Edmundo," Eddie offered. He doesn't really know why he gave it up with such ease, probably the alcohol.

"Prefer Eddie?" Buck asks to clarify once more.

"Definitely prefer Eddie," He looks at Buck while he pauses to sip his drink before asking, "Your full name isn't Buck Buckley, is it?"

Buck laughs again, loud and carefree, before he answers, "Evan Buckley, but only on my birth certificate."

Eddie chuckled along as well. He took another sip, he really should slow down but the buzz of the drinks had him feeling so warm while talking to Buck, before asking, "When did you switch to Buck?"

Buck sips his own bottle and answers with another smile, "I lived with a bunch of guys during college. Not a frat but total frat house energy, you know? Like as gross as your thinking and then a little more. Anyway, three of us were named Evan. Had a pong tournament to decide who kept the name."

Eddie laughed, "I take it you lost?"

Buck grinned back, "I could've won if I wanted."

Eddie snorted into his bottle, "Sure."

"No, really!" Buck insisted, "My parents weren't big on nicknames. Hated them, actually. Kinda wanted one of my own. So I oh-so-subtly threw the match and since I was first out, I didn't even get to go by 'Ev,' that was the second place prize. The guys settled on Buck for me and it stuck, feels more like me than 'Evan' ever did, you know?"

"Yeah, I," Eddie started, his gaze returning to the mar above Buck's eye once more, "Uh, I could see that. Buck suits you."

Buck's smile seemed to soften a bit at the words. He was raising the bottle to drink again and Eddie's eyes flicked toward to movement but settled back up to the mark above Buck's eye pretty quickly. 

"Were you burned?" It took Eddie a moment to realize he was the one who asked the question. He should definitely slow down.

"What?" Buck asked, confused for a moment.

"Right here," Eddie continued (Why was he continuing?). He was reaching out, just about to brush his fingers against the mark, when he finally caught himself and remembered self-control. He locked eyes quickly with Buck's blown wide, staring at Eddie while he was reaching out. Eddie snapped back his hand and quickly apologized.

"No, it's fine, it's just..." Buck cleared his throat, "It's a birthmark, actually. I, uh, I get that a lot, though, don't worry."

"Right," Eddie nods, clearing his own throat, "Well, uh. It suits you, too."

"Thanks," Buck said, barely audible over the bar's noise. He seemed a bit flushed. He must be nearly as drunk as Eddie felt, and Eddie did feel like he was hovering right about at his limit.

"Right, well, uh. I should probably close out. Gotta get back to Chris."

"Chris!" Buck exclaimed loudly, seemingly out of no where. Eddie stared at him, a bit startled at the reaction, but Buck was quick to recover, "Sorry, sorry, I just... I knew his name had been mentioned when I first met you guys after Carla's car thing, but I could not for the life of me remember what it was. Drove me a little insane that day at the cafe, actually."

Eddie found his smile returning, "Really?"

Buck matched his expression and said, "Yeah, man. I just kept hearing you call him 'Superman' whenever we ran into each other. And that fits, don't get me wrong, but, uh... Yeah. Chris. I was trying to remember."

Eddie felt a little light watching Buck fiddle awkwardly with his bottle, it was a different kind of awkward than he was used to feeling around Buck. He was closing out his tab when Buck spoke again, "Damn, I am seriously not getting that girl's number tonight, huh?"

Eddie followed his gaze to where Murphey and Sadie-or-Whoever were now kissing against the wall of the bar.

Eddie snorted at the sight, "Afraid not. Sorry, again, about him. He's really not this bad most the time."

Buck turned to face Eddie again with an easy smile, "Nah, it's fine. Was probably only gonna be a casual night anyway. But, uh, since I'm not getting her number, maybe you could give me yours?"

Eddie felt his cheeks warm up and his eyes go wide. The only sound he can find himself able to make is a squeak of, "Oh?"

Buck's flushed expression increased tenfold, "Shit, not, uh. Not like that obviously. Just like, as friends, you know? This was fun, us hanging out a bit. Right?"

"Right," Eddie agreed, a little amused at Buck's rambling. It sounded nice to be friends with Buck. It was nice to just sit at the bar and talk and laugh and get to know each other a little more. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Eddie wanted Buck to be more than a friend-of-a-friend. So he agreed a little more surely, "Right, yeah, uh... Phone?"

Buck passed over his phone and Eddie put his number in, shooting it a quick text that simply read "Buck" so that he'd be able to save the contact as well. He passed the phone back to Buck.

"Cool," Buck smiled.

"Cool," Eddie agreed.

They sat in that moment for a minute until the bartender handed Eddie back his card.

"Right, well, uh, I should probably..." Eddie started.

"Right, right, yeah," Buck nodded, "You have a ride?"

Eddie raised his own phone and answered, "Uber."

Buck smiled, "That app is truly a blessing."

They said goodbye with a smile and a laugh. Eddie was more glad than ever that he decided to join Murphey and Jones tonight.

i am so changing ur contact name in my phone

It's about 6pm the next night when Buck's text comes through. Eddie finds himself chuckling at the sight.

What do you mean? He types back.

Buck responds quickly:

"Eddie (Carla knows)"

are u fr man

Eddie rolls his eyes as he types, Well what would you have typed in?

It takes a minute, but Buck responds:

Eddie (Date Crasher)

Eddie is quick to text back:

That is not going to be my contact name in your phone.

Buck responds with:

what about jor-el

Eddie takes a minute to try to decipher the text, but eventually caves and asks Buck, What does that even mean?

Buck responds with three more messages:

ugh

superman's dad

duh

It fills Eddie with a little warmness, the fact that Buck would suggest a name like that. But he deflects the feeling a bit in his response:

Course you would know that.

Buck ignores the comment when he presses again:

so jor-el it is?

Eddie laughs at his phone but turns the idea down anyway:

Absolutely not.

Buck is quick to respond again:

damn

suit yourself

Then, a screenshot comes through. It's a photo of Eddie's contact information. Above his number his name is saved as "Eddie (Date Crasher)" and the photo circle has the image of a comic book character in it.

Eddie sends back:

What is that picture?

Another minute, and Buck replies:

jor-el

duh

pls tell me im not saved in ur phone as "Buck (Carla Knows)"

Eddie texts back honestly:

You're not.

Of course, Buck is quick to ask:

ooooh

what am i saved as???

Eddie smirks even though he knows Buck can't see it when he types back, "Buck (Carla's Friend)."

Buck is quick to show his annoyance, of course:

noooooo

absolutely not

change it right now

Eddie didn't need to, obviously. Buck couldn't exactly force Eddie to change his contact name in Eddie's own phone. But he takes a minute to update the information regardless. He sends Buck a screenshot of the updated contact page. Above Buck's number, his name is saved as "Buck Buckley." Eddie even added an image to the contact, a photo of a duck in the little circle above his name.

Buck asks about it:

y a duck??

Eddie feels a little embarrassed. Honestly, he had added the image when he saved Buck's number last night, still hovering just shy of too-drunk and thinking about the way Chris can't pronounce his "B" sounds so the few times he's ever tried to say Buck's name it's come out as sounding like he's saying "Duck." He didn't even think of the image when he sent the screenshot, but it's too late to take it back now. So he tells Buck:

Chris liked the pond.

Buck didn't seem bothered or weirded out by the explanation when he responded:

im glad

its a good pond

Texting Buck wasn't awkward, like Eddie half expected it might be when he woke up this morning and saw the unread message from "Buck (Carla's Friend)" saved in his phone. It seemed a little easy, actually. Maybe being friends with Buck wouldn't be as hard as Eddie would've thought it would be a few days ago.

Do you know how to tell a teenage duck from an adult duck? I feel like Chris can tell I just point and choose random ducks when he asks me.

Actually, do you know if it's still "teenage duck season" at the pond?

A week or two ago, Eddie probably would have felt awkward sending strange or random questions to Buck, but as the two have continued texting Eddie had more of a read on Buck's character. Buck carries casual, lighthearted conversations. He's prone to teasing, prompts questions at random, and has a surprising wealth of fun facts. At first, Eddie figured it must be that he's a grade school teacher, bound to be a wealth of general knowledge, but after a conversation about the reason refrigerator doors are magnetic Eddie realized that it's just who Buck is: prone to Wikipedia deep dives and minimal fact-checking yet mostly-accurate information. At least, Eddie tends to take Buck at his word.

if a duck has full feathers instead of little whispy ones theyre adult

in between u can call teens

also theyll be bigger than the babies

idrk about if the ducks at the pond are still young though i havent been for a bit :(

Buck responded in his typical fashion, several texts sent one after the other, not a hint of punctuation or capitalization to be found.

Why do you know so much about ducks anyway?

Buck's response is again so typically Buck:

idk i like animals

u ever take chris to the zoo

hed probably like the tiger

kids love tigers man

Eddie finds himself chuckling lightly at his phone, a habit he's been increasing lately. He sends back the message, I'd need a guide honestly. The LA zoo seems a bit hard to navigate. Plus it's a lot of walking for the kid.

Buck's response is something different than what Eddie would've been expecting from his casually-texting-as-slightly-more-than-a-friend-of-a-friend buddy for once:

well we could rent a stroller for him

they got big ones

he could still walk obvi

just like also take breaks 

"We." Eddie was caught on the word. Not on the plan, it actually seemed like a pretty decent plan to get Chris a stroller and a zoo outing actually seemed like something Chris would really enjoy. But Eddie was so caught on that one word he had to ask and clarify: We?

A couple moments later Buck's responses were rolling in:

well i figured id be that guide u mentioned

did i misread that?

lol all good if i did

just thought im cheaper than a tour is all

like obvi i didnt mean to invite myself or anything

Eddie kinda just stared at his screen, watching the texts send through almost like a ramble. One with a question mark and everything. It was... it was a surprising response but admittedly not an unwelcome idea. Buck has been fun to talk to, he was fun to hang out with that night at the bar, date-crashing aside. They did exchange numbers to actually hang out more, after all. Eddie just didn't expect Buck to want to hang out with him and his three-year-old next time they met up. Actually Eddie only half-expected Buck to want to meet up again at all. But apparently Buck really did want to meet again, with Eddie's kid at the zoo of all places, and despite the slight anxiety Eddie felt at the idea, he felt that he wanted to as well.

A typing bubble from Buck showed up and Eddie realized he's been just staring at the messages, read-receipts turned on, for a few minutes at this point. He types back quicker than Buck can send whatever he's typing through:

I mean you did say you like animals.

Buck's typing bubble disappears and Eddie's a little on edge waiting to see what Buck would respond. He waits a beat. Still nothing. So he sends another text:

If you'd really want to come, I'd appreciate the guide.

It takes less than a minute for Buck to respond:

whens the next weekend ur free

It ends up taking another week before schedules line up, and the Friday night before Eddie is a little stressed about it. Chris is excited as ever though. When Buck sends the text "we still on for tm?" and Eddie replies with "I hope. The zoo is the only reason Chris has eaten vegetables this week." a lot of Eddie's anxiety melts away when Buck sends back:

well im glad i brushed up my animal fun facts

ill be the best guide superman could ask for

It warms Eddie a little bit, that Buck would do some extra animal fact research for their little outing. It stands to reason that Buck would do some animal fact research anyway, but knowing he wanted to do some for Chris, for superman, it made Eddie smile.

Chris is practically bouncing off the walls by the time the Jeep pulls into their driveway Saturday morning. The plan was to drive in together, save the price of parking one of their vehicles. At Buck's knock on their door, Chris excitedly screams, "Dad! Time to go!"

Eddie smiles and laughs as he moves to open his door, "In a minute, mijo. We're not in a rush."

"But dad-" Chris starts, and the rest of his complaint is cut off by the squeak of the door swinging open. Buck is standing on the porch and suddenly the anxiety is back. He's dressed casually, jeans and a t-shirt, hands in his pockets and a slightly shy look on his face.

"Hey," Buck greets.

Eddie holds his gaze, offering back a soft, "Hi."

Chris, however, doesn't seem to have any of Eddie's anxiety about hanging out with someone new. Pushing his walker to the door, he calls out a cheery, "Hi Buck!"

Only Chris was still struggling with his "B" sounds so it came out a bit like "Hi Duck!" and it made Eddie smile and think of the contact picture saved in his phone. 

Buck shifts his focus from Eddie's eye contact to look down at Chris. His smile pulls a little wider as he greets, "Hi, bud. You ready for today?"

Chris, of course, has been ready since he woke up before his alarm this morning. So he answers, "Yes! Let's go!"

As the boy tries to push past Eddie through the doorway Eddie has to place a hand on his shoulder to hold him back, "Hang on, superman, I have to grab our bag still" Then he turns to Buck, "Come in for a minute. You want anything to drink?"

Buck laughs lightly at the two, mostly at Chris letting out a groan, and answers, "I'm okay. Thanks, though."

Buck follows the Diaz's through the doorway and waits with Chris while Eddie turns back to grab the bag he filled earlier with a few water bottles and some fruit snacks for Chris. He half expects to return to Buck looking at the pictures on the wall, a natural curiosity to gaze around a new setting, but instead he finds Buck's attention locked in on Chris's conversation as Chris is telling him, "...won't be as big as a t-rex though."

Buck laughs and responds to whatever Chris was saying, "Well an elephant might not be as big as a t-rex, but it would be about the size of a triceratops."

"Really?" Chris's voice is dripping in awe of the Buck's facts already and Eddie smiles at the scene in front of him.

"Alright, are we all ready?" Eddie interrupts the conversation and Chris beams even wider.

"Yes!" Chris cheers. 

The three move to the truck and Eddie puts Chris in the booster seat while Buck starts to help fold up Chris's walker for transport.

"You don't need to-" Eddie starts.

"I got it, you finish buckling him in," Buck brushes Eddie off.

When the three are seated Eddie barely has time to start the car before Chris is asking, "Dad, did you know dinosaurs had feathers?"

Eddie chuckles, setting the radio to a nineties station on low volume, "I did not know that, bud."

"It's true! Buck told me!" Though it still, as always, was pronounced as "Duck."

"Oh, well if Buck said so it must be true," Eddie snorts.

"Hey," Buck gave Eddie a light smack on his shoulder, "I'll have you know I'm a trusted source for information."

Eddie can't help but smirk back, "And with you saying so, it must be true."

Teasing conversation flowed easily from that point. Buck and Eddie joking around like old friends rather than mutual acquaintances, Chris asking Buck which modern animals would beat what dinosaurs in a fight, Eddie taking a firm stance that a lion could beat any dinosaur in a fight just to make Buck laugh as Chris refuses to agree with him. By the time they get to the zoo, Eddie has forgotten he was ever nervous to hang out with Buck and his son in the first place.

The actual zoo part of their zoo trip goes well too. Buck really did know a lot about a lot of the animals, Eddie almost caught him peaking at the exhibits description texts once or twice. It was busy, crowded on the sunny Saturday, but Buck and Eddie matched their paces to Chris without complaint. When Chris was tired and Eddie pushed him in the stroller, Buck didn't blink before taking Chris's walker to carry without either prompting or complaint. It was fun, it was the most fun Eddie had had in a while, and it genuinely seemed like Buck was enjoying himself, too. Chris was absolutely having the time of his life, surprising Buck and Eddie both when he said the alpacas were even cooler than the lion.

It was a fun trip, but a long day for the little guy to be out and about in the sun. Not even ten minutes into the car ride back a soft snore can be heard from the back seat.

"You think he had fun?" Buck asked, smiling at the sound.

"I think this might've been the best day of his life," Eddie answers.

"Wow. Top day out of 900. I'll take that anytime," Buck smirks.

"He's had more than 900 days, man" Eddie laughs.

Buck furrows his eyebrows, "What, he's, like, four right?"

"Buck, he's three," Eddie laughs, "That's still more than like 1,000 days."

Buck just shrugs, "I'm bad at math."

"Aren't you a teacher?" Eddie asks incredulously. 

"Teachers have least favorite subjects," Buck defended.

"Buck there are 365 days in a year and you just said a four year old would have been alive for 900 days," Eddie's trying to quiet his laughter so as not to wake up Chris in the back seat.

"Well rest assured I have a calculator to help me grade math quizzes," Buck says with a chuckle.

"You teach little kids!" Eddie points out.

"And I'm good at it! Using every tool I need to get the job done," Buck assures, which sends Eddie into a fit of chuckles all over again.

It takes a moment for the laughter to die down, Eddie's almost exiting the highway when he takes a breath to say, "Seriously, man. Thank you for today. Chris had a great time."

Buck's voice is a little softer than before when he responds, "Well, uh, so did I. This was nice."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, "It really was."

"So, uh," Buck starts, "You had a good time too, then?"

Eddie snorts a bit, "Yeah, Buck. One of the top days out of my last 900."

Buck gasps, jokingly saying, "Even including the day Chris was born? Wow, Eddie, I'm honored."

Eddie laughs again and finds he really enjoys laughing with Buck.

As the weeks rolled into months Eddie felt as if he had truly found his footing in LA. He was being more social, occasional drinks with his teammates, occasional outings with Buck. A few of those hang outs with Buck were including Chris but there were sometimes where it was just the two of them, grabbing drinks and swapping "war stories" as Buck called them. Not Eddie's actual war stories, of course. Buck would talk about classroom disasters and strange unfiltered comments he's overheard his students make and Eddie would retell stories from the firehouse and some of the more bizarre calls he's been on. Carla has been a constant, a godsend really, helping look after Chris and allowing Eddie to find balance as a firefighter, single father, and a young adult all at once. Eddie could confidently say that he was happy, really happy, and making a good life not only for Christopher but for himself, too.

"Diaz!" Murphey called from the microwave while Eddie sat at the table eating a reheated dinner, "You on the Christmas shift too?"

Eddie sighed at the reminder, "Yup."

"What about your kid?" Jones piped up from here she was pouring a cup of coffee.

Eddie winced and put down his fork, "He's gonna spend it with my tia and Abuela. He's excited for it, seeing them and all, but it's kinda killing me I won't be there with him."

"Kid's still young though," Murphey pointed out, "Probably won't even remember this Christmas a few years down the line."

Eddie leveled him a glare, out of the corner of his eye he could see Jones staring flatly at him, too. He appreciated her solidarity. In the back of his mind, he could almost appreciate Murphey's failed attempt at reassurance, too. At least he had the decency to pick up on Eddie and Jones's not-so-subtle cue that his comment fell flat. He put his hands up in surrender and grimaced a bit, "Right, sorry. It sucks, man."

"Are you doing anything leading up to the holiday with him? Cramming in some festivities before the big night?" Jones asks, redirecting the conversation to be a bit more happy.

"There's some tree and light display at a park Buck was talking about. Wanted to take a picture for his sister or something so we're gonna take Chris there this weekend, maybe have him meet Santa while we're at it," Eddie answered around his bite of food.

"The teacher guy?" Jones asks, throwing a look Murphey's way.

"Uh, yeah," Eddie raises his eyebrows. Surely he's mentioned Buck in the months since they ran into him at the bar.

"He's going with you and your kid to meet Santa?" Murphey asks. He pauses for a moment, raising his eyebrows, but then continues, "Sounds like a big deal for a friend-of-a-friend."

Eddie snorted, "Well, we've upgraded into actual friends by now."

"Clearly," Jones mumbled into her coffee. Eddie threw her a confused look. Jones raised her eyebrows and asked, "He's met your kid?"

"Uh," Eddie started, "A few times by now, yeah. I've talked about beach and zoo trips with you guys."

"You didn't mention the teach was there for all those," Murphey pointed out.

Eddie rolled his eyes, "Well not all of them. Not all the beach ones, at least."

Jones joined Eddie sitting at the table and asked, "But both zoo ones? You took him both times?"

Eddie was a little caught off guard at the questions. Surely he's mentioned Buck being there, even just mentioned passing comments about Buck. Buck who is probably worthy of the title of Eddie's best friend, probably the best friend Eddie ever had. His confusion leaks into his voice as he answers, "I mean, yeah? I didn't, like, take him. He buys his own ticket. And he sorta takes point leading me and Chris around the exhibits anyway."

Jones huffed, "So if I buy my own zoo ticket do I finally get to meet your kid?"

"Is that what this is about?" Eddie asked.

"I'm just saying," Jones spoke, "You said you'd swing the guy round here sometime."

"Yeah come on, dude," Murphey joined in, "I wanna meet him. Especially if your 'friend-of-a-friend' has."

There was something in the tone Murphey took as he said the phrase "friend-of-a-friend." Honestly, there was something in the looks Murphey and Jones always shared whenever Buck was mentioned by Eddie, Eddie just couldn't figure it out.

"Well," Eddie reasoned with a light smile, "Buck's not just a friend-of-a-friend anymore."

"Oh," Murphey's eyebrows shoot up as he sits beside Jones.

"Oh?" Eddie questioned.

"Yeah, I just... I didn't realize..." Murphey paused to clear his throat, a smile growing out of the surprised expression as he continued, "So, uh, sorry, but you and Buck are..."

Murphey hovered his fork at Eddie, letting him fill in the prompt. When Eddie realized what Murphey meant he felt a blush flood his cheeks as he rushed to answer.

"What? No, no. Buck and I are just friends," Then, he amended, "Good friends."

"Good friends?" Jones asked with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

"Well, I mean, yeah. He's a good friend," Eddie answered, trying really hard to push down his embarrassment.

"In September this guy was a 'friend-of-a-friend' who's dates you crashed, two months later and he's taking your kid to sit on Santa's lap," Jones threw another teasing look Eddie's way.

Murphey looked like he was about to join in the teasing but then quickly redirected, "Wait, multiple dates?"

Eddie groaned but Jones laughed and asked Murphey, "Wait you never heard the story of the first one?"

Before the conversation could continue, the alarm rang out throughout the station.

"Saved by the bell," Jones teased at Eddie.

"You can tell me on the drive there," Murphey smirked, unwilling to let it go.

Christmas passed in the blink of an eye. Eddie did take that trip out to the park with Buck and Chris. It was a nice day, plenty of photos taken. Christmas itself was a long shift, plenty of chaos and a few stories Eddie was looking forward to tell Buck over drinks. Chris had surprised Eddie, saving two presents to open in front of his dad after he got off his shift. Eddie had to thank Abuela through his tears for making sure that happened, because there was no way his excitable three-year-old had the idea to wait to open Christmas presents by himself. It was an exhausting day. Long calls, crazy calls, domestic arguments at each call, and the emotional exhaustion of missing Christmas with his little boy. Eddie didn't think a more chaotic shift could come about. Then, he was scheduled to work a 24, New Year's Eve into New Year's Day.

This was a shift of a nightmare. More drunken idiots than Halloween, more chaos filling bars and night life venues, way too many drunk driving accidents. It weighted heavy on Eddie. Call after call after accident after accident. A hit and run here, a fatal crash there, hardly a break between them all. It was call after call without a break from around 11:30pm to 2:45am when the team pulled back into the firehouse. Exhaustion was evident on all their faces while they slumped out of the truck.

"Coffee?" Eddie nodded his question to Murphey and Jones as they climbed their way out of the ambulance.

"Please," Jones groaned.

Murphey shook his head, knocking his fist against his head as he answered through a yawn, "I'm gonna try and catch a few winks before the next call."

Murphey had this thing about knocking on wood so as not to 'jinx' his chances. A lot of the team had little superstitious habits like that, actually. Eddie was too worn out to point out that even if knocking on wood did anything (it doesn't), contrary to popular belief, Murphey's head is not -in fact- made of wood.

As Eddie brewed the pot of coffee he stifled a yawn behind his hand when he pulled out his phone to check his messages. He didn't expect a lot, maybe a "happy new year" from Carla even though she was likely fast asleep far before the clock struck midnight. Instead, he saw his only messages were from Buck, sent through only a minute after midnight:

happy new year!

😘😘😘

say safe at work tonite <3

Eddie's staring at his phone when Jones sneaks up from behind him and asks, "A good friend, huh?"

Eddie nearly drops his phone as he jumps up, "Wh-what?"

"Pot's been brewed for a minute, man. Loverboy distract you with his new year's kiss?" She reaches to the cupboard to pull down two mugs, but not without making a teasing kissy face at Eddie throughout the process.

"It's not... he's not-" Eddie wants to say that it's just a joke, it's just the way Buck is: banter that could pass as flirting, texts that are random and teasing. This wasn't really a flirty message. Besides, Eddie was straight. If they were hanging out tonight, drinking together and welcoming the new year, at most Buck would make a teasing kissy face at Eddie who would lightly punch him in the arm and tell him to knock it off. They'd laugh and drink and say "happy New Year" but Buck wouldn't grab Eddie. Buck wouldn't pull Eddie close, with one hand on Eddie's hip and the other cupping Eddie's face. He wouldn't whisper "Happy New Year," before pulling Eddie even closer and pressing their lips together softly. Or heatedly. He wouldn't actually drag his tongue softly against Eddie's bottom lip, making Eddie gasp and allow Buck to explore further into his mouth. He wouldn't actually pull away from a new year's kiss, dragging Eddie's lip between his teeth as he does so.

Jones snorted, thrusting a full mug of coffee into Eddie's hand and saying, "Man, you're really sorta gone on him, aren't you?"

Eddie should deny it, he should insist that Buck is just his friend. Because Buck is just his friend. And Buck is also a guy and Eddie is straight but... but Eddie also just zoned out in the middle of a firehouse fantasizing about making out with Buck at midnight on New Year's. Eddie is tired and drained and exhausted and doesn't have the energy to think through what this all means to him when Jones just laid out the answer in front of him.

"Shit," Eddie whispers, blinking as he turns to Jones, "I'm sorta gone on him, aren't I?"

Jones snorted again, this time almost spilling her own mug as she did, "Dude, you took him with you to watch your son meet Santa."

"That was just a friendly outing," Eddie tried to defend.

"A friendly- Probie, you worked with Murphey and I for five months before we were able to drag you out for a drink. It's been almost nine and we still haven't met your kid. In like three months this guy has gone from 'a-friend-of-a-friend' you make goo-goo eyes at to zoo dates and beach trips and beer nights and taking your kid to meet Santa Claus," Jones emphasizes.

Goo-goo eyes?

Eddie hears her words. He really does. He tries to listen, too. But that's just how Buck is. He's the type of guy that breaks down walls, that decides he wants to be friends then texts nearly every day with random anecdotes and silly fun facts. His teasing only seems flirty but that's just because he's quick to banter. He's good with kids, he's a teacher so of course he's the type of person who Chris would take a liking to. Of course he's the kind of guy who has debates with his three year old over dinosaurs and zoo animals and aliens and outer space and superheroes and ice cream flavors. 

"He's just a good friend," Eddie tries again, voice a little softer this time.

Jones changes her voice to match the softness, "It's okay if you want him to be more, you know?"

"I-I know I just... We just," Eddie stumbles for a moment before sighing. Hell, he admitted it a moment ago, he may as well admit it again, "Shit, I think I want him to be more."

Jones's eyes shift akin to sympathy as she knocks her mug against Eddie's and says, "Drink your coffee, Diaz. The shift ain't over yet."

As she begins to walk away, before Eddie can even take a sip, the station alarm blares off again. Off in the bunk room, Eddie can hear Murphey scream out a loud curse, off to his side, he can hear Jones chuckle at it. It's been a long shift already, but Eddie still has a job to do. Instead of taking an extra second to gulp down a few sips of caffeine, he places his mug down and sends a text while he's rushing back towards the fire engine:

Happy New Year, Buck

He didn't even realize he forgot to add the period. Clearly, he was out of it tonight.

Eddie tried to wake up the next day and convince himself the conversation with Jones was a fluke. He tries to convince himself he was just tired, delirious in the come down of adrenaline between calls, caught off-guard by intrusive thoughts and others' teasing. Buck was his friend, his good friend, his best friend and Eddie was just momentarily confused and sleep deprived and single and he didn't actually have any feelings whatsoever for Buck beyond a close platonic bond. They weren't even that close. He didn't talk to Buck about the hard stuff. They never talked about Shannon or Eddie's parents or Eddie's army service or his injury or his stupid silver star. They didn't talk about Buck's family. A sister mentioned once or twice but never really spoken of any details about. No mention of parents or grandparents or anything of his childhood upbringing. They really weren't that close.

Sure, Buck was most of Eddie's social life, and Christopher loved hanging out with "his 'duck,'" and Eddie talked to Buck more than he did his own parents but it just meant that they were friends. Sure, Buck's banter was teasing and sometimes flirty and made Eddie smile and laugh more than anyone beside his own son could, but that was just the way Buck was. Sure, Buck was objectively attractive, and Eddie could recognize that, but Eddie was straight and wasn't actually attracted to Buck in any way beyond friendship.

Eddie tried to wake up the day after that and convince himself of all that again.

It almost worked, day after day of waking up and Eddie reminding himself they were just friends, that's just how Buck is, and Eddie is straight. It really did almost work. Until the weekend, when Buck asked to swap 'war stories' now that he was back in the classroom and that it's 'been too long' since the two of them have shared a few beers between them. Because Buck reasoned that it would be cheaper to buy a six pack and catch up at his loft than go out to a noisy bar, so Eddie found himself for the first time at Buck's place, where Buck was relaxed, dressed down in some sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Where Buck didn't have many pictures on his walls but still had the drawing of the 'dinosaur monster truck' Chris scribbled for him stuck to his fridge underneath a souvenir magnet from Virginia Beach. Where Buck ordered them take out because he's "trying to get better in the kitchen, but it's still an uphill battle" but he knew Eddie's go-to Thai order from his favorite place -their favorite place- without needing to ask him. Where Buck looked handsome and moved around the space with a natural comfort and made Eddie smile and laugh and blush in a way that was just so easy.

Eddie was in Buck's loft, where Eddie caught how his gaze would linger over Buck's birthmark before falling to the blue eyes underneath. Where Eddie found himself listening to more than Buck's words but also to the tone and timbre of Buck's voice. Where Eddie was praying that the flush on his cheeks could be passed off as a side effect of the beers they were drinking. Where Eddie found his eyes drawn to Buck's lips every other time Buck took a sip from the bottle. Where Eddie realized that he wanted to know about Buck's family. He wanted to hear stories of Buck and his sister growing up. He wanted to know why there weren't any pictures of her or their parents up on Buck's walls. He wanted to tell Buck about about his family life, about why he moved to LA and away from his parents. He wanted to tell Buck about Shannon and the divorce and how it hurt more than getting shot did. He wanted to tell Buck about getting shot and his early discharge and the way Eddie cried in the grocery store, overwhelmed with the shift back to "normalcy," his first time he tried to pick up milk after being back. He wanted to know everything about Buck, the good the bad and the ugly, and he wanted Buck to know everything about Eddie, too.

The next day after he woke up, Eddie didn't bother trying to convince himself that the feelings he had growing for Buck stopped after reaching the point of "just good friends."

It was fine, though. Eddie was coping. He didn't really have the time to over-process what he was feeling. He was still a single father, still a probationary firefighter, still Buck's friend and nothing more and that was fine. It had to be, because Buck would still mention the occasional date he had and Eddie would support him as any good friend would. Clearly Buck wasn't interested in pursuing anything with Eddie, and he was well within his right not to. Even if Buck did feel some off-hand attraction to Eddie, it didn't erase the fact that Eddie came with baggage. Not that Chris was a burden, of course, Eddie would never change a second of his life since it all lead him to having and raising and loving his son, but Eddie was the kind of guy that would tie a partner down. Eddie had a son, a son who already adored Buck and Eddie wouldn't want anything to risk the bond his son had with his best friend. Buck was young, and so was Eddie, but Buck was just beginning a new career that he was passionate about, and again so was Eddie, but Buck had the time and opportunity to still expand and explore what he wanted for his life long term. Buck didn't deserve to be thrust into some ready-made family just because he gave Eddie butterflies. Eddie had no right to ask for anything more. He didn't want to ask for anything more. Eddie and Buck both had their careers and their friendship and it was good. Things were good.

Eddie was getting pretty good at just shooing the butterflies away. Every day, every week, he would let himself smile at Buck's texts, he would let himself laugh at Buck's banter, he would let himself enjoy the simple pleasure of having a crush while reminding himself that this, their friendship, was as far as things were ever going to go. It was okay. Eddie was still happy.

He was happier, still, to finally have a holiday off during his probationary year, even if it was Valentine's Day of all days. And it sorta sucked to be single on Valentine's Day while nursing a crush on your best friend and no work to distract you throughout the day, but it was also a Saturday which meant Chris was off from preschool, just starting out his February school break, and Eddie got to spend the day with the real love of his life. Chris asked if they could go somewhere, celebrate the start of school break, and Eddie figured that it's been a while since the two of them hit the cafe and duck pond together.

Walking into the cafe, Eddie watched his son begin to beam even wider, and turning around after holding the door for Chris, Eddie saw why.

Not again.

"Duck!" Chris exclaimed, still working on the 'B' sounds.

Buck was sat even closer to the door than last time, so Chris was pretty quick to push himself over to the table before Eddie could tell him not to interrupt Buck's date. Buck was facing the door this time, catching sight of the two straight away. He smiled at Chris coming over girl at the table across from him turned around to watch Eddie and Chris approach. She was pretty, dark skin and curly hair, an air of femininity about her, and looking not at all like Eddie besides maybe the fact they both had brown eyes and hair. It didn't matter.

"Hey, guys, what are you doing here?" Buck greeted, taking a second to shoot Eddie some sharply raised eyebrows. 

"We're gonna see the ducks," Chris tells Buck, and Eddie takes the opening for escape.

"That's right, mijo," Eddie confirms, "So we should head over to the line and grab our drinks. Say goodbye to Buck, okay?"

"Well, wait," The girl cuts in, then turns to Buck, "Aren't you going to introduce us all?"

Buck blinks for a second, then clears his throat, "Yeah, yeah of course. Uh, Nat this is Eddie and Christopher. Um, guys, this is, uh, this is my friend Natalia."

Eddie can already feel this going south as he smiles tightly and gives a quick, "It's nice to meet you."

Natalia, however, responds to Buck instead of Eddie with a flat look, "Are you serious?"

"Uh, yeah?" Buck questions, confused.

"What are we doing here, Buck?" She crosses her arm.

"Uh-" Buck starts.

Natalia continues quickly, "I mean it's been a couple weeks, it's Valentine's Day, but I'm your 'friend?'"

"Well, I, He's a kid, Nat," Buck defends.

"Is he your kid?" Natalia asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Wh- No, no," Buck stutters out.

"So?" Natalia prompts again.

Buck looks at her with a completely confused expression, then turns to Eddie and shoots him an incredulous look. Eddie reads it clearly as a sign he needs to leave.

"Right, well uh," Eddie begins to speak quickly, "Chris, we gotta get in line, kid. Good to see you, Buck. Nice to meet you Natalie."

The woman at the table balks.

"Natalia," Buck corrects Eddie with an exasperated glare.

Oops.

Eddie winces at his mistake, "Right! Right, sorry. Natalia. Nice to meet you. We're gonna go."

Eddie corrals Chris away from the table and up to the line, doing his damned to avoid Natasha's -Natalia's- offended gaze. He can hear the two engaging in a hushed argument as he and Chris walk away and it takes all he has not to listen in. There's a few people ahead of him in line, Eddie tries his best to redirect Chris's questions away from Buck and "What's wrong this time?"

By the time they're next to the register, the cafe door can be heard slamming shut and Buck is approaching Eddie's side with a sigh, "You know, tradition states you now owe me a drink."

Eddie winces again but can't help the small smile fighting to stretch across his face. He awkwardly gestures to the chalk board by the register and offers, "Cupid special?"

Part of him cringes again because of course the drink is called the Cupid special. But, it also seems to be Buck's go-to coffee order. A latte with a pump of raspberry, hazelnut, and dark chocolate. Only Buck gets his with oat milk, light foam. Eddie's not sure when along the line he actually learned Buck's coffee order, but it happened.

Buck seems like he's about to tear Eddie apart for the suggestion but then he actually reads the sign and all he says is, "Hey, that's my order."

The barista had returned to the register by the time Buck said that so she responded, "What can I say, you've got a good flavor pallet."

Buck spares her a smile and says, "Thanks, Chloe. A large one as I regularly do for me. He's gonna get a black coffee medium. Then a chocolate milk for the kid, extra whipped cream."

"He doesn't need-" Eddie starts, but Buck cuts him off.

"Extra whipped cream. With the fifty sent up charge," Buck winks to the barista -to Chloe who thought Buck had a "good flavor pallet." Whatever. It didn't matter- then continues to speak, "All that's going on his tab. I will be closing out that table over there."

Chloe chuckles, "Sure thing, Buck."

Apparently Buck was a known regular here. Whatever. Chloe or Zoey or whoever she was went off to make the drinks and Buck turned to look at Eddie with his arms crossed, "I am never changing your contact name in my phone."

"I am so sorry," Eddie says, trying to press as much genuine sincerity into his voice as possible but the look on Buck's face tells him Buck doesn't really believe him.

"I know I've mentioned her name's Natalia," Buck states.

"Have I mentioned that I'm really bad with names?" Eddie tries. He leaves out the way he might be extra especially bad with the names of Buck's dates and flirtationships.

"Are you gonna come see the ducks with us this time?" Chris asks Buck before he can respond to Eddie.

When Buck looks at Chris, it's with a soft smile and not  the incredibly annoyed expression he was shooting Eddie a second ago. He couches down to Chris's eye level to answer, "Well, what else am I gonna do when I'm single on Valentine's Day if I don't hang out with my best friend?"

Then he glances up and points at Eddie, tacking on in a stage whisper, "And his dad."

Chris giggles at Buck while he stand to his full height again. Eddie shoots Buck a smile that he hopes conveys "I'm sorry I ruined your date (again) but I'm happy you're gonna be hanging out with us."

Buck rolls his eyes but chuckles slightly. And just like that the annoyance his gone. He and Buck are good. Of course they're good. They're best friends. Best friends about to hang out on Valentine's Day. 

And as Buck carries Chris with ease on one hip on the walk to the pond, holding Chris's drink in his other hand so that the kid could ask for it whenever he wanted and leaving Eddie to juggle holding both his and Buck's drinks and Chris's walker, Eddie doesn't mind the awkward juggle of items. He looks at the matching smiles on Buck and Chris's faces and feels the butterflies swarming up again. He's quick to be sure to shoo them away.

They're just friends. Best friends. Best friends walking Eddie's son to his favorite duck pond while drinking overpriced cafe drinks on Valentines Day after Eddie crashed Buck's date and ended the couple-weeks-long-almost-relationship Buck had mentioned a few times now but didn't seem all too shook up over. But It's good. They're good. Things are good.

I think I my son is broken.

After there wasn't an immediate response from Buck Eddie placed his phone down and began to do the dishes. He always washed by hand, a chore he took on early in his childhood helping his mom clean up after meals. It gave him a sense of control, a calm and trust in knowing that each piece was washed thoroughly by his own hand. It was a chore, not exactly an enjoyable or relaxing one, especially not with the deep scrubbing of melted cheese sticking to the pot that was needed after tonight's dinner. By the time Eddie is satisfied that the pot is clean, wiping his hand on a dry dishrag and placing the last of the items in a drying rack, his phone is buzzing from across the counter. He smiles as the picture of a duck fills his screen and tries to shoo those damned butterflies away as he accepts the call, "Hey, Buck."

"Is Chris okay?" Buck's voice has a rattled urgency to it and Eddie is taken aback for a second.

"What? Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't he be?" Eddie replies, then asks, bewildered, "Are you okay?"

"Uh, other than getting a cryptic text about your son being broken then absolutely no follow up, you mean?" Buck urges.

Eddie should feel guilty, worrying Buck over nothing, but instead all he feels is his heart swoop at the thought that Buck is worried over Chris at all. The only response he can manage is, "Hang on a sec."

Eddie swipes on his phone over to his texts where, sure enough, ten minutes after Eddie sent that message, there's a barrage of texts from Buck:

is he ok?

did he fall or something?

like a bone?

Eddie?

are you guys okay? do you need help?

Eddie feels those butterflies swoop up again and this time he doesn't have the heart to force them back down. He can't bite back his smile as he return to the call screen, "Oh my god, I did not mean to worry you."

Buck's voice was as stressed as ever as he responds, "Well, how was I supposed to interpret that?"

"Not that Chris was hurt," Eddie can't help the laugh that escapes.

Buck answers with a groan, "Okay, but then what's going on?"

"Chris doesn't like mac and cheese?" Eddie answers, a bit sheepish as how worried Buck had seemed going into this conversation.

Buck is silent for a moment. Eddie gives him the time to process. Eventually Buck speaks up, "Eddie, are you kidding me?"

"I mean, what kind of kid doesn't like mac and cheese?" Eddie defends his point.

"Oh my god," Buck groans exasperatedly, but Eddie keeps up his rant and pays Buck close to no mind.

"I mean you boil noodles, drain the water, then melt cheese over top. Easy, simple, go-to dinner for kids across the country."

"Oh my god," Buck sounds downright offended this time, "That is not how you make mac and cheese!"

"What?" Eddie asks with a scuff, "Of course it is."

"Eddie, just boiled noodles and cheese thrown on top? That's the type of shit I'd whip up in college and pretend was cooking," Buck says.

"Mac and cheese. Two ingredients, it's in the name," Eddie tries to convince Buck.

"I pray for your son's nutritional intake," Buck says with a sigh.

"He had some grapes on the side," Eddie gives context.

"Chris is not broken for not enjoying grapes and cheesy noodles for a Friday night dinner. You are broken for feeding your son like that," There's a levity in Buck's voice now as he speaks.

"Well I didn't think it tasted too bad," Eddie rolls his eyes despite Buck not being able to see it.

"When's your next weekend night off?" Buck asks, seemingly out of no where.

Eddie didn't have his prime choice of shifts while still in probationary status. That meant a lot of overnights and weekends and inconvenient days. Buck still was new to lesson planning for his classroom, was still learning to manage his time of grading assignments and pacing out projects and classroom events for his students. There wasn't a given day of the week, even a given day on a biweekly basis, where the two of them were both free to meet up. Hang outs were sporadic, took planning, but were worth every minute. 

"Uh, two weeks, I think?" Eddie walked over to his fridge calendar to confirm.

"I'm making you and Chris mac and cheese," Buck says.

Eddie felt his heart stutter, "What?"

"One of those nights, you tell me which one, I am making you and Chris a baked homemade mac and cheese with broccoli inside and these magical ingredients called seasonings and breadcrumbs and I am going to show you what mac and cheese is supposed to taste like. And I'll bring a Kraft box for Chris if the real mac and cheese is too gross for him," Buck informs Eddie of the plan.

"How is Kraft any better than what I made tonight?" Eddie asks in offense.

"It's cheese sauce, Eds. Processed, sure, but at least it's not just melted cheese on boiled noodles," Buck is laughing as he says it.

"Okay, man, last time you tried cooking for us you nearly set a grease fire," Eddie laughs back.

"Nearly," Buck emphasizes, "I nearly started a fire. As in I didn't. I'm good at this recipe, for real. I promise."

"Yeah, whatever, Gordon Ramsay. Are you coming over the Friday or Saturday?" Eddie uncapped his pen to mark Buck's visit down on his calendar. 

"The Friday works for me, love," Buck said in a fake British accent. Eddie ignored the pet name and reminded himself he was a grown man who was not going to be caught blushing at a Gordon Ramsay impression which sincerely sounded like Buck had never heard what a real British accent sounds like. Buck continued, still in that forced and tacky accent, "Long as that works for you?"

"I'll see you then, Buck," Eddie confirmed the date, marking it down with a smile.

When the day in question finally came, Eddie may not have realized how deep he was going to be in over his head. Buck, standing there in his kitchen, with a ridiculous apron on and preparing a dinner for Eddie and his son with a confidence Eddie didn't know Buck could possess in the kitchen. In Eddie's kitchen, specifically, where Buck still moved around comfortably and sure of himself and Eddie had to force himself not to think about how domestic this all seemed.

"Did you make any picks for March Madness?" Eddie asked Buck. Sports was a safe conversation topic to have with your bro who was walking around in an "ironic" floral print apron while he spent his free night preparing a homemade dinner for you and your son, right?

Buck blinked, confused, "Like, the basketball thing?"

"Uh, yeah. Not a fan?" Eddie asked. It would be a shame if he wasn't, Eddie thought, because he and Murphey have been having a semi-regular pick-up game with some guys from the station and it would be nice for Buck to tag along one of those. Then again, one of the nice things about that group is that it's a first responders crew, so maybe they'd have to go just him and Eddie, play some one-on-one.

"I never really got to big into basketball," Buck shrugged.

"Baseball?" Eddie asked.

"Definitely not into baseball," Buck answered with a snort.

Eddie's defenses flared, "What's wrong with baseball?"

"Too much waiting around. If I'm gonna watch a sport I'd like it to at least be an exciting one," Buck chuckled lightly as he spoke. Eddie was almost grateful for Buck's slight bashing of his favorite sport, it kept him grounded, almost made Buck a little less attractive while he moved around the kitchen.

Eddie sighed, "So, just not much of a sports guy, huh?"

Buck shrugged and Eddie watched his smile pull a little shy, "I mean, I played football in high school."

Eddie's interest peaked, "What'd you play?"

"Uh, tight end," Buck offered.

The answer caught Eddie off guard for a moment. He felt his eyes begin to trace up and down Buck's form. Buck was muscular, put a lot of effort into maintaining his gym routine, but he was still a bit... small. Buck was tall, of course. He's toned and his muscle mass has been growing over the past few months, but to think of Buck even younger and slimmer than he was now but having the strength and drive to play as a tight end...

"Did I loose you there?" Buck broke Eddie out of his trance with a snort. Eddie blushes and turns his head to look away, a little frustrated with himself for being caught staring.

"No, no I just," Eddie clears his throat, willing some rosiness out of his cheeks as he lifts his head to look at Buck again. Buck, who had a slight smirk on his face. Eddie continued, "I'm just trying to picture it, you know? You're a little small for a tight end."

Buck's smirk transformed into amused shock in an instant, "I'm small?"

"I mean, small for a tight end, yeah!" Eddie defended. Then, because he wanted to tease Buck back he tacked on the question, "What, did you play JV?"

Buck let out the fullest laugh Eddie had ever heard and simply said, "I'll have you know I was a varsity starter both my senior and junior year."

"Was your team any good?" Eddie made a face of disbelief, letting his eyes gaze up and down Buck's form once again, having the joke as an excuse to do so shamelessly.

Buck threw a piece of broccoli at him jokingly and said, "We held our own."

Eddie laughed, unrestrained at the response. Because, yeah, Buck might've played tight end but that doesn't mean his team was any good. At the sound of laughter, Chris began strolling his walker into the kitchen from where he had been coloring in the living room.

"Hi, buddy," Buck greeted.

"What are you laughing at?" Chris asked with a curiosity in his eye.

Eddie helped lift Chris to be sitting next to him in a chair at the counter as he answered, "We were just talking about how Buck used to be bad at football."

"I was not bad!" Buck insisted.

At the same time, Chris groaned, "Not football again."

Eddie ignored Buck and responded to his son, "You're from Texas, kid. Football is in our blood."

"Did you ever play football?" Chris asked his dad curiously.

"Nah," Eddie ruffled Chris's hair, "I played the exciting sport of baseball."

As Eddie said it, he turned to Buck with a teasing glare, waiting for a tease back about the "boringness" of baseball. But Buck was just staring, blinking at the two for a second before he cleared his throat and asked, "You guys are from Texas?"

"Uh, yeah?" Eddie responded, a little confused, "Only moved to LA two or so years ago."

"Huh. I, uh, I didn't realize," Buck responded while turning back to his meal preparation. 

"Have you ever moved, Duck?" Chris asked from where he sat.

Buck barked a laugh at this, "I moved a bunch of times, buddy."

"Really?" Chris perked up with wonder in his eyes.

"Oh yeah," Buck answered, "I've been all over."

"Like where?" Chris was entranced. Eddie was glad Chris asked, he himself being curious and wanting to drink up as much information about Buck as he could.

"Well I'm from Pennsylvania. From Hershey, actually," Buck started to explain.

"Like the candy?" Chris cut in with excitement.

"Exactly," Buck said, "Our school mascot might as well have been a chocolate bar. I left when I was around 19. Traveled up and down the east coast, Georgia, Virginia, Florida. Eventually made my way out west. Stopped for a few weeks at Montana and then Washington before heading south and landing here."

"Wow," Chris said, "You moved a lot."

Buck chuckled a bit, "It was nice to travel."

Chris's face dropped a bit. Buck couldn't see from where he stood putting the macaroni bake in the oven but Eddie clocked it immediately. Before Eddie could ask what was wrong, though, Chris spoke up again with a bit of sadness in his voice, "Are you gonna move again?"

The question had Eddie himself feeling a swoop of anxiety coil in his gut.

Buck closed the oven and turned around and met Chris's distressed expression with a soft smile, "I, uh. I don't think so Buddy. I've been here probably for four years now. Sometime while I was finishing up teacher-school," Eddie smiled at the way Buck always referred to college as "teacher-school" around Chris, "I realized LA really felt like my home. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Chris smiled.

"Good?" Buck asked, matching Chris's grin with an amused one of his own. Eddie melted a bit at the sight.

"Yeah. We're not going anywhere either. Right, Dad?" Chris asked to make sure.

"That's right, superman," Eddie said with a soft smile, "I think one move was enough for us."

"What was it that brought you guys to LA?" Buck asked, mostly towards Eddie, as he leaned on the counter across from the Diaz boys.

Eddie felt himself tense as Chris turned to him with an equally curious eye and waited for the answer. He cleared his throat but his voice still came out tight and a little quiet when he said, "Uh, Shannon -um, Chris's mom- her mom got sick. We moved out here to help her."

Buck's eyes went a little wide, "Oh."

"She doesn't live with us anymore," Chris said, as if that much wasn't obvious.

"R-right," Buck nodded, a little awkwardly.

"Chris-" Eddie started, but Chris was a curious kid. He cut Eddie off with another question, "Did mom move?"

"Buddy, I-" Eddie paused to take a breathe. It would be easy to say yes, but it would also be a lie. He continued by placing a gentle hand on his son's shoulder when he spoke, "I'm pretty sure your mom is still in California. And she loves you so much, she just had to leave and help her family."

"But we are family," Chris said, confused tears beginning to well up in his eyes. It broke Eddie's heart. He wanted to be angry, to curse Shannon and scream at her for running away and leaving this perfect little boy behind. Only, hadn't Eddie done the same thing when he enlisted? And when Eddie returned, although sooner than expected, he wasn't in much of a position to help Shannon be a caregiver to Chris. No, he needed Shannon to be a caregiver to him as well throughout his recovery. They were too young, they were only kids trying to raise a kid of their own. It wasn't Shannon's fault, and Eddie knew that, but he still felt grief flood through him at the reminder that Chris was growing up without his mother.

"I know, buddy. You know, I was in the army when you were just a baby. I was really, really far away because I had to take care of soldiers getting hurt, so I couldn't be close to you. But even though I was far away and wasn't with you, it didn't mean I didn't love you any less. You're an easy person to love, Christopher," Eddie pulled his son into a hug.

"Really?" Chris sniffled, but didn't cry. Eddie felt his own chest tighten at the realization of how strong his son truly was.

"Absolutely," Eddie said earnestly. He pulled back from the hug a bit and Chris smiled at him. Then Chris turned his head to share his smile with Buck. Eddie felt himself tense up all over again at the reminder that Buck was there. Buck was watching them with a softness on his face and a gentleness in his eyes.

It was quiet for a moment, Eddie not wanting to move and shatter the moment they were all caught in though desperate to escape the emotional talk. Buck's eyes locked in on Eddie's for a moment, then something washed over Buck's face and he focused all of his attention, the full strength of his thousand watt smile onto Christopher, and he said, "You know, Chris, you are my absolute favorite Diaz."

Chris lit up a little bit at the praise, "Really."

"Oh, definitely," Buck reached over the counter to ruffle Chris's hair, "And since you're my favorite I brought you something special."

"What?" Chris was immediately distracted at the thought of a surprise. Eddie could kiss Buck for being able to change conversation away from the serious subject and get his kid smiling once again.

"Well, I'm making some grown-up mac and cheese for me and your dad. But, if you wanted, I brought special kid mac and cheese just for you," Buck smiled.

Chris's face dropped a little, "Mac and Cheese?"

Buck laughed, "It's gonna taste so much better than what your dad makes for you, buddy. And it's shaped like smiley faces."

"Whoa," Chris said in awe as Buck held up the box.

"What do you think? Should I made it for you?" Buck asked.

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed.

"Ask nicely," Eddie chimed in, amused by his son's smile.

"Please!" Chris added on.

"Sure thing, superman," Buck smiled and moved through Eddie's kitchen to find a pot. And wasn't that something. Buck, calling Chris superman. Buck, knowing where to find the pot in Eddie's kitchen without having to ask. Buck, still dressed in that silly apron which didn't have a single stain on so seemed to be pointless to be wearing at all. 

Eddie was in deep. The rest of the night just kept proving that to Eddie. Chris, Eddie, and Buck, sitting around the table. Laughing, joking, eating the food that Buck prepared. It was delicious, too. Buck seemed to really be improving in the kitchen as he's said he was. But Eddie didn't want to feed too much into Buck's ego so when Buck asked for feedback Eddie shrugged and said Buck should've added more spice, to which Buck went on a three minute rant about boiled noodles with melted cheese and Eddie laughed harder than he had in a long time. In the lighthearted meal, most of Eddie's attention had almost faded away from the previous conversation. That was until Buck insisted he help Eddie with the dishes since "it was his mess."

While Chris sat in the living room doing a farm animal puzzle, Buck turned to Eddie as he began drying the freshly scrubbed plate in his hand and spoke softly, "So... Chris's mom."

Eddie's tension was back. He'd need to stretch his shoulders before sleeping tonight. Eddie cleared his throat and began his scrubbing movements again, staring at the sink while he asked, "What about her?"

"You, uh, you don't talk about her much," Buck pointed out.

"She's not around," Eddie was short with his response. It was strange. He wanted this. He wanted to tell Buck all about his past and lay out exactly what his history was for Buck to know him so beyond thoroughly, but now he was presented with the opportunity and found himself at a complete loss for words.

"She left you guys," Buck prompted. It wasn't a question, it was an observation, but it gave Eddie the opening to explain a little more.

"I got full custody of Chris in the divorce. She, uh, she hasn't reached out to see him since," Eddie offered a little more insight into his life.

"That uh..." Buck seemed to search for the proper words to respond. He landed on, "I'm sorry she did that."

Eddie sighed, "I, uh, I get it, you know? We were kids who just had a kid. I, uh, I ran away myself, at the start."

Buck hummed, clearly curious but leaving it up to Eddie to decide if he was going to continue the conversation or not. Eddie continued, "When I enlisted I tried to tell myself I was just doing what I had to do, providing for my family, you know? But at the end of the day I was just scared. I didn't know how to be a husband, how to be a dad. I ran away," Then, he added on even softer, "I wasn't even in the same country on the day that Chris was born. I didn't even meet my son in person until he was a few months old colic mess and that was just for a weekend leave."

Buck put down the dishrag and placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder in comfort, "You were a kid having a kid, Eds. You were providing for your family the only way you knew how."

Eddie shook his head, "I wasn't there, Buck."

"Hey," Buck tightened his grip, "You said for yourself that you being away didn't mean you loved Chris any less. You're here now, Eddie, and you're not going anywhere. He gets to grow up with his dad and you... You're a good dad. You care. You love him. Not every kid is lucky enough to have that."

There's a weight to Buck's words, a deep understanding lacing his voice as he speaks. Eddie wants to explore it, to keep talking deeper, but this conversation has been heavy enough already so Eddie moves away from the angst and tries to talk about something a little brighter, tries to focus on his gratitude for the friendship he and Buck have grown together when he says, "That, uh, it means a lot. Thanks. And thanks for..."

Buck furrows his brows with a slightly amused smile at the way Eddie gestures his hands all around. Buck prompts, "For...?"

Eddie laughs out a sigh, "Everything, man. All of it. The zoo trips, the beer nights, the dinners, whatever. For helping LA feel like a real home. Chris adores you, man, and I... I'm lucky to have a friend like you."

Eddie watches as Buck's cheeks fill with a deep blush. Blue eyes stare back at him a little awestruck as Buck speaks up with a soft smile, "I'm lucky to have a friend like you, too."

Eddie smiles a nod and returns to his scrubbing. It's quiet except for the run of the water until Buck knocks his shoulder into Eddie and speaks up, "What's your take on friendship bracelets?"

Eddie snorts a laugh, "What?"

"Been a trend for the girls in my class lately. What's your take?" Buck takes the plate out of Eddie's hand with a smile as he begins drying.

"You wanna make friendship bracelets, Buckley?" Eddie asks with a tease.

"I want mine to be blue and green," Buck answers with a laugh then adds on, "Has to say 'E+B, BFFFL.'"

"What?" Eddie asks again, laughing.

"Eddie and Buck," Buck explains with a smile and a teasing "duh" to his tone, "Best friends forever for life."

"You are ridiculous," Eddie says with a smile, handing Buck the pot to dry.

"And yet you're lucky to have a friend like me," Buck smiles back, pride at the earlier compliment ringing through his voice as he repeats it back to Eddie.

Eddie smiles a little wider, still. Being best friends forever for life with Evan Buckley certainly sounded like a pretty sweet gig.

When April came it brought the end of Eddie's probationary year as a firefighter. At his shield ceremony Eddie can't keep the grin off his face, Chris watching him in the crowd with Abuela and Tia Pepa. 

Murphey and Jones were ecstatic to finally meet Chris. Eddie was nervous, for just a moment, when he caught their eyes widen catching a glimpse of Chris's walker. Murphey, however, recovered in two seconds. Jones recovered even quicker from that.

"Your dad is a genuine firefighter, kid!" Murphey grinned at Chris after introductions were made.

"He's a real firefighter now!" Chris said with a beaming smile, clearly not grasping what the word "genuine" meant. Eddie smiled.

"The real, real deal," Murphey agreed, "And in a few years on the job, he might even be as cool as me!"

"Hey," Eddie knocked Murphey on the shoulder with a laugh.

"Seriously, congratulations, Probie," Murphey smiled.

"Probie no more!" Jones cut in with a laugh.

Eddie felt as though his grin couldn't grow wider. Then, abuela cut in with a question, "Have your parents called yet today?"

As it turns out, Eddie's smile could fall a bit and could definitely grow a bit tighter. He forces the smile to remain when he answers, "Uh, not yet. Maybe they wanted to wait until after the ceremony."

And Eddie was sure that at some point in the day he was bound to be congratulated by his parents, though he wasn't entirely unconvinced about how much Tia Pepa would be involved in making them reach out sooner rather than later after this interaction. But just then his phone vibrated and Eddie glanced down at it in apprehension.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im proud of you firefighter diaz

changed ur contact pic <3

Buck then sent through a screenshot of Eddie's updated contact. His picture was now of a firetruck, lights beaming against a dark sky. His name has been updated, too, reading "Eddie Date-Crash Diaz" and Eddie chuckled softly at the screenshot.

"Is that them," Abuela asked with a bit of hope in her voice.

"What?" Eddie looked up, then remembered the conversation about his parents that was just going on. He tried to get his smile back under control and continues, "Oh, uh, no not yet."

"Buck?" Jones nudged Eddie's shoulder with her own while she smirked.

"He's just saying congrats," Eddie rolled his eyes and willed himself not to blush over in front of his abuela and aunt. He typed out a quick "Thank you!" before putting his phone away, not oblivious to the way Pepa was watching him with intrigue.

Eddie ignored it, redirected conversation back to his team meeting his son. They laughed and smiled and Eddie let himself feel immersed in the joy. He, Pepa, and Abuela took Chris out for dinner and ice cream to celebrate and Eddie let himself feel really truly proud of himself and all he accomplished, maybe for the first time in his life. It's not until a few hours later, after a slightly tense but overall positive congratulatory phone call with his parents and tucking Chris in bed for the night, that he's able to check his messages with Buck again. Sure enough, a few hours back Buck had texted him.

u should really give my contact name an update too

Eddie rolled his eyes but began changing the information anyway, sending Buck a screen shot of the name change to "Buck BFFFL."

It took Buck a few minutes to respond:

keeping the dick pic?

Then rapidly Buck texted again:

DUCK

TYPO

DUCK PIC

R U KEEPING THE D U C K PICTURE

Eddie laughed to himself and typed back:

Maybe that'll change when Chris can pronounce his B sounds.

Buck was quick to reply:

but its so cute when he calls me duck tho :(

Eddie felt his heart stutter as he agreed:

Very cute, yes. But not exactly helping the goal of his speech pathologist.

There was no response for a minute and Eddie actually thought that might've been the end of the conversation, but then Buck typed back:

did u guys do anything to celebrate tonite

Eddie smiled again and sent back:

We went to dinner and ice cream with my Abuela and Tia Pepa.

Buck's response came quick:

lol is chris hyped up on the sugar

Eddie chuckled as he laid in his bed and sent back:

He's out cold, actually. I think today really tired him out.

Buck replied with:

big day of celebrating!!!!

you deserve it

It was a small thing, really, that Buck typed out "you deserve it" instead of "u deserve it." He did it sometimes, typing a full word he usually shortened, so it wasn't too abnormal. Hell, buck didn't even capitalize the sentence. It was a small, completely insignificant thing. Eddie found himself a little caught on the message anyway. Eventually he responded with:

Thank you, Buck. Seriously.

Again, Buck's response came quick:

get some sleep firefighter

you deserve it

goodnight eds <3

Eddie kind of wanted to stay up and keep texting, but he could already feel his eyes beginning to droop and Buck already left little room for argument so all he texts back is a quick:

Goodnight Buck <3

He doesn't realize until the morning that he copied Buck's emoticon instead of ending his text with a period. 

BFFFL, he looks at Buck's contact name. It was silly, juvenile, but an important reminder. Best friends, Eddie told himself, and nothing more.

Congratulations, Mr. Buckley!

Eddie sent to Buck on a sunny Friday in the end of June, the last day of the schoolyear. 

year one done baby!!!

Was Buck's response. Eddie snorted at Buck's dude-bro speak, not even giving a second glance the "baby" tacked on to the end of the text. He was proud of himself for that. He's been doing a really good job of keeping his feelings for Buck trapped in their "BFFFL" box. Eddie sent back:

You survived. Doing anything to celebrate?

Buck's response came through after a minute:

gonna grab drinks with some of the other teachers after we finish stripping 

Eddie faltered for a moment, reread the text then sent back a simple:

Oh? I know the kids left but I'm not sure that's school appropriate behavior.

It took another minute for Buck's response to send through:

i can't tell if ur serious or not

To be honest, neither could Eddie. Until Buck sent another text:

on the off chance u are i hope u know i meant stripping the classroom walls of this years posters and stuff

i mean some we can reuse but others got this years names so those gots to go

Eddie laughed and responded:

Well thats a relief. Enjoy those drinks tonight!

Then, because Eddie was feeling a little bold, he double texted:

Are you planning on resting tomorrow or would you be down for Chris and I to take you out for celebration ice cream?

Two minutes later Buck sent back:

theres no better way i can think of to start out the summer :)

Come two o'clock the next afternoon, Chris, Eddie, and Buck were sitting on a bench at a beach. Chris had complained about getting his soft serve cone flipped upside down and put in a bowl so he didn't spill it so Buck asked for a cone-bowl combo as well. Eddie had smiled at him before doing the same. They sat eating their ice cream cones out of bowls with a spoon and it felt silly and bright and absolutely perfect. It felt like summer. When Chris had "finished," (as in he had flung most the ice cream out of his spoon before it reached his mouth, was wearing half his kid-sized portion on his face, gave Eddie the half-melted, half-full ice cream cone left in the bowl while announcing he was all done and wanted to look for shells in the sand) Buck was reaching into his pocket and pulling out a travel pouch of wet wipes before Eddie could even blink.

Eddie placed his and Chris's bowls on the bench as he leaned over and wiped Chris's face clean with the wipe Buck offered. He took the moment to reapply some sunblock onto Chris too before the kid plops down to begin digging around in the sand a few feet in front of the bench.

"Thank you," Eddie said with a smile at Buck.

"Why're you thanking me? This is my celebration," Buck knocked his shoulder into Eddie in response.

Eddie rolled his eyes, "I meant for the wipe."

Buck shrugged, "Well, I know you raised a messy kid."

Eddie laughed and took another bite from his ice cream bowl. Of course Buck tried to brush it off as insignificant, as something just anybody would do, but Eddie knew that not anyone would put in the level of time and energy and care that Buck did when it came to hanging out for him and Christopher. They were quiet for a moment, eating from their respective bowls while watching Chris dig into the sand then watch it fall between his fingers.

"It's great sensory for him," Buck pointed his spoon towards Chris as he spoke, "Sand helps with fine motor development and all that."

"And all that," Eddie mocked with a smirk then knocked his shoulder back into Buck's as he continued, "We didn't come here for a learning opportunity. We went out to celebrate you finishing your first year of teaching."

Buck ducked his head but Eddie didn't miss the shy smile. He tried to miss the way his own heartbeat sped up a bit. Buck placed his actually finished bowl down and pulled his keys from his pocket to start fiddling them them as he sat back against the bench. He liked to be doing something whenever a comfortable silence settled, Eddie picked up. Honestly, Eddie was a bit surprised he wasn't already joining Chris in the sand. He almost chuckled at the thought that the sensory play would be good for Buck, too.

"What's that?" Eddie nodded at the keys.

"I know you know what car keys look like," Buck threw Eddie a teasing look before saying, "We could've taken my car, you know."

Eddie rolled his eyes and pointed out, "Chris's car seat is in the truck."

"We could've moved it. I dunno, I feel bad having you pay for gas and the ice cream," Buck replied.

"Buck, I invited you out. I wanted to celebrate with you your first year in a new job. You used gas to get to my house anyway, it probably balances out," Eddie tried to catch Buck's eye as he spoke, but Buck was just staring down at his keys while he fidgeted, still wearing that small and shy smile.

"Well, thank you," Buck spoke softly, then finally glanced back up towards Eddie, "Seriously. I'm having a lot of fun."

"Us too," Eddie answered on behalf of himself and Chris. Buck had a smudge of chocolate near the corner of his mouth. Eddie almost pointed it out but then Buck ducked his head again, breaking eye contact to return to fidgeting with his keys. They were quiet for another moment, only the sound of Buck's keys and the crashing waves filling the air, before Eddie tried again, "I meant your keychain."

"What?" Buck froze in his fiddling.

"I know what your keys are, obviously," Eddie jokes, "But what's the keychain?"

Buck stared down at the keys in his hand for a second. Oh, Eddie had the sudden realization that this seemed like something Buck didn't really want to talk about. He was about to give Buck an out, scramble for a way to change the subject, when Buck cleared his throat.

"It's, uh, a pinky promise," Buck passed his keys to Eddie for him to look at the charm.

"Oh," Eddie said as he turned the keychain over in his hand. He wanted to ask if it meant anything, if Buck had a promise he needed to keep, if Buck had promised himself away to somebody else, but he left the conversation hanging in the air to see if Buck would offer up any more information.

After a beat, Buck did. He began to explain, "It's, uh, it's something I did a lot with my sister as kids. She has the same charm on a necklace, I think."

"You think?" Eddie asked. With Buck giving up the information Eddie figured he was safe to ask a few questions now. Buck really didn't talk about his family all that much. Eddie rarely heard any stories of Buck before he moved to LA, let alone before he left Pennsylvania.

"Well, uh. I don't know. I sent her it as a Christmas present. I'm, uh, I'm pretty sure she got it," Buck shrugs, tapping his knees with his hands.

Eddie hands the keys back to Buck so that he'll have something to fiddle with as Eddie braves himself and asks, "Are you guys not close?"

Buck accepts the keys, running his thumb in a repetitive circle and staring at it while he answers, "We used to be when we were younger. She was always taking care of me, really stepped up in the house, I mean. But, uh, after she moved to Boston with her husband we kind of fell out of touch."

"Busy with her new family?" Eddie asked, then cringed at himself when Buck immediately tensed in a wince. Eddie tried to take it back, "Sorry, I-"

"No, it's fine. It's just..." Buck cut Eddie off then glanced over at Chris. He shifted a little closer to Eddie on the bench and lowered his voice to say, "Doug's a dick, right? Her husband. He's, like, not a good person. I'm pretty sure he's the only reason we don't talk anymore."

Eddie could see the red flags and could feel the concern turn over in his gut, "Is she safe?"

Buck rolled his eyes and sighed, leaning back against the bench, "I hope so. I think so. She almost left with me back in 2008, gave me the Jeep to start my travels after I ran away from my first attempt at college. She was supposed to come, right until the night of. But, uh, I guess she didn't want to. Told me to go on my own. Didn't even do it in person. Said she loved Doug too much to abandon him."

Buck scuffed a bit at that, spitting out the word "abandon" like it was some kind of joke. Eddie hardly found the words to say, "That sounds hard."

Buck tucked the keys back into his pocket and shook his head as he responded, "Maddie's strong. Works as a nurse and has her life and career in Boston. Really wasn't a reason for her to come with me, 'specially not just because her baby brother had a crisis and said he didn't like her husband."

"Hey," Eddie placed his hand on Buck's shoulder and waited for Buck to look back at him before he continued, "It still sucks."

"Yeah," The corner of Buck's mouth twitched with a small hint of a smile, drawing Eddie's attention back to the small smudge of chocolate topping when Buck continued to agree, "It still sucks."

Eddie kept staring at Buck's mouth for a moment before he slowly lifted his free hand to reach out.

"Eddie," Buck said his name softly and the movement faltered. Eddie's eyes flicked up to Buck's staring wide, hand frozen in the air between them.

"Sorry," Eddie said, but didn't pull his hand away. His gaze returned to the corner of Buck's mouth as he tried to explain, "You just have a little..."

As his voice trailed off his hand moved forward, slowly, softly, and seemingly without permission reaching Buck's face. His thumb brushed the corner of Buck's mouth. Once, twice, pulling the skin softly but doing nothing to actually rub off the stain laid there. Eddie could hear the soft hitch of Buck's breath, feel the way Buck's body tensed beneath his touch, but Buck didn't pull away. If anything, Buck seemed to be moving closer, leaning in bit by bit until they were just a few inches apart. Eddie watched as Buck's mouth parted just a bit and-

"Look!" Chris called out.

Eddie snatched his hand back while Buck pulled far away from his touch. He could feel his heart thumping loudly, could almost hear a ringing in his ears.

Were they about to kiss?

"It's you!" Chris thrusted a shell into Buck's hand.

"I-it's, uh," Buck paused to clear his throat, the only sign he was thrown off even for a moment before he smiled naturally at Chris and asked, "It's me?"

"It's shaped like a duck," Chris pointed at the shell. It was a broken off piece of a larger shell, rounded but with a few jagged corners sticking out. Eddie wasn't exactly sure how it looked like a duck but he was sure Chris could see it in the shape. It would have been a cute moment, one that would have easily melted Eddie's heart, only Eddie's heart was still drumming a mile a minute in his chest.

"Sure does, bud," Buck says. He really did seem fine, normal. Why wasn't he freaking out right now? Buck took the shell and started "pecking" at Chris's head.

Chris shrieked in laughter, "What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you duck kisses," Buck said with a laugh.

"That's where it farts!" Chris dissolved into giggles.

"Uh oh," Buck said with a smile, "Whoo-wee. Smells like you might need a bath tonight."

Chris laughed even harder and pointed up at Buck, "You have ice cream on your face."

"Do I?" Buck rubbed at his mouth and turned to Eddie without a trace of the previous moment showing behind his eyes, "Did I get it?"

"Yeah, uh," Eddie nodded and turned to collect the used bowl resting on the bench, "You're good."

"All good?" Buck asked to clarify, catching Eddie's eye. And this seemed like it was the closest thing hinting at acknowledging the minute before where they had almost kissed.

"Yeah, Buck," Eddie got up to throw away their garbage, sending Buck a smile he hoped didn't look too forced as he confirmed, "All good."

It's not brought up again. "It" being  the almost-moment, the incident, the near-kiss that was interrupted by a child's joke about a farting duck, whatever you wanted to call it. They never talked about it, but that didn't mean Eddie didn't think about it constantly. He regretted it. What was he thinking? Caught up in the tense energy of the moment. What? They would kiss? Right after Buck opened up about his strained relationship with his sister? When Buck was emotional and vulnerable? Right in front of Chris? What would they say? How could they explain that?

It was stupid. It was a lapse in judgement to even lean in as far as they had. And yet, when Eddie lay awake at night thinking about it, in the quiet of his lonely room he sometimes would let himself admit that he wished they closed the gap. He would imagine the taste of sugar off Buck's soft lips, imagine the warmth of Buck's hand as they would hold Eddie even closer. The fantasy was inconvenient, to say the least.

But the kiss wasn't talked about. Romance wasn't talked about. Eddie had half-expected Buck to be filling his summer months out of the classroom with dates and flings and attempts at romances, but Buck hardly mentioned anything beyond an occasional and rare flirt at a bar. Even then it was mostly told as a funny story of a failed pick-up line someone would try out on him. The closest Eddie gets to talking about romance all summer, besides Jones and Murphey's teasing glances whenever a story he's telling somehow involves Buck, is actually a conversation Eddie has with Carla a few days before Chris's birthday.

"So, Eddie," Carla began, trying for casual but something hitching in her tone, "When's the last time you've been out on a date?"

"Uh," Eddie blinked, completely caught off guard by the question, "2010?"

Carla's mouth fell open, "That was four years ago!"

Eddie just shrugged and shifted awkwardly, "Well, by the end of it I got a girl pregnant. Then, you know, I got married, joined the army, had a son, moved to a different time zone, got divorced-"

"Okay, okay, I get what you're saying. But, you've never wanted to try? Dip your toes back in the water?" Carla's tone seemed more genuine now, like her curiosity had new founded roots since the start of the conversation.

Eddie felt himself blush at the way he immediately thought of his near-kiss with Buck. It was ridiculous, really. He couldn't even be sure that Buck had really almost kissed him, that Buck hadn't just moved closer to try and... help Eddie get the ice cream smudge off? Eddie willed his blush down. Of course Eddie had thought about dating, late at night when he let himself indulge in the thoughts of what it would be like to kiss Buck, to take Buck out not under the label of two friends hanging out but as a real date. Of course, Eddie thought about it, but he also thought about what an awful decision it would be. How he could ruin and blow up the closest friendship he had ever had, how Chris would be affected when it all fell apart. But Eddie couldn't bring himself to imagine going on a date with anyone who wasn't Buck. He despised the idea of putting on that getting-to-know-you performance for someone who he would spend the whole night comparing to Buck whether he wanted to or not. Eddie didn't want to date if he couldn't date Buck, and Eddie couldn't date Buck. It's not like Buck would want to date Eddie anyway.

He sighed as he answered Carla, "I'm just not really looking for anything right now. I've got my kid, my career, my friends, it's enough."

Carla seemed to consider him for a moment, then prompted, "But if somebody came along..."

With a roll of his eyes Eddie answered, "They wouldn't be who I was looking for."

Carla did a double take, "There's somebody you're looking for?"

"Wh- No! No, I just..." Eddie started.

"You've already found someone," Carla fills in, knowingly.

"I..."

"Not, uh," Carla actually falters for a moment, "Not Chris's mom?"

"No, no that ship has sailed. Not Chris's mom. No one. There's no one else, either," Eddie stumbled over himself talking, dizzy with following this conversation.

"No one at all?" Carla asked.

"No one," Eddie confirmed, than added on, "And I'm not looking."

Carla hummed with a smile beginning to pull across her face. She gathered her pocketbook but paused after a moment to turn to Eddie and ask, "Is Buck coming to Chris's birthday party?"

The sudden shift in subject dizzied Eddie all over again when he responded, "Uh, yeah. He should be."

"He should be." That was a light way of putting it. Buck had shown up last week with a clipboard and a checklist of all the necessary party supplies, a budget for each item, and an honest-to-god color-coded schedule regarding planning the event. It was a little endearing, how seriously Buck was taking helping Eddie plan a four-year-old's birthday party, even if Buck was a little... inflexible... with the organization of his clipboard.

Carla smirked more than she smiled when she commented, "Just your family, then me and him there, right?"

"I, uh, that's the plan," Eddie nodded, feeling himself blush, "I mean, plus a few kids from Chris's class, but those parents weren't looking to stay."

Carla hummed again, as if there was something interesting about that, then began to make her way to the door, "Well, I guess I'll see you both there, then."

"Yeah," Eddie responded, still confused by the whole exchange, "I'll, uh, see you then. Get home safe."

does chris go trick or treating

Eddie saw the text Buck sent earlier in the morning when he sat at the table in the firehouse eating his lunch. He smiled as he sent back:

I'm not sure if he's been before, but we're going this year.

It took a few minutes for Buck to respond:

what is he dressing up as

Eddie eyes the clock before texting back a tease:

Should you be texting in class? You're setting a bad example.

Buck's response is quick:

its my lunch smartass

come on whats he going as

dont tell me its a surprise :(

Eddie could imagine the pout on Buck's face, exaggerated puppy dog eyes to match it. He smiled when he finally answered Buck's question:

A purple dinosaur. He's been practicing his roar all week.

Eddie took a second to scroll through his camera roll, sending Buck a video of Chris sitting in front of his building blocks roaring loudly and giving his best attempt at making his hands look like dinosaur claws. The video itself makes Eddie smile, but Buck's response makes the smile grow a little wider:

thats some roar hes got

im sure it hasnt gotten old yet

Eddie almost laughed. Of course Buck, who teaches kids not too much older than Chris, would immediately clock that no matter how cute that video was a week full of dinosaur roaring was sure to grow annoying quickly. Eddie shoots another text back after taking a bite of food to stifle his amused smile:

I only need to make it through the 31st. Do you have any plans?

The typing bubbles were instantaneous and Buck sent his replies:

nah just handing out candy

might watch a horror movie while im at it

hopefully look at pics of chrisosaurus rex all dressed up ;)

The lack of plans caught Eddie by surprise. Eddie thought back to some of the stories Buck would tell on beer nights, tales of bartending and bouncing between parties and drunkenly slipping on rotten pumpkins leading to a dislocated shoulder. The Buck in these stories seemed the type to have at least two bars in mind, a costume picked out, and a themed drink of choice to match it. But this Buck wasn't the Buck from those stories. This Buck only prepared to give out candy, maybe watch a horror movie, and have Eddie text him a picture of Chris all dressed up. Eddie almost didn't believe it so the responded to the text with a clarifying question:

No big party plans? Really?

Buck sent a laughing emoji then followed up with the message:

guess i spent so long helping the pta plan the school's safe halloween i forgot to make my own plans for that night

itll probably be nice to just chill and watch a movie anyway

Eddie hasn't known Buck for too long. They were barely friends-of-a-friend when last Halloween rolled around, so Eddie had no real reason to think the idea of Evan Buckley of all people sitting alone having absolutely no plans on Halloween night was so wrong. But it was wrong. Eddie could hardly imagine Buck sitting still for a night on a normal day, let alone a holiday dedicated to sugar highs and intoxication. The idea of Buck being alone on Halloween just felt so wrong Eddie didn't even think before typing out and sending his next text:

I mean, you could always come trick-or-treating with me and Chris.

There's no response right away. Eddie may not have thought before sending the text, but he sure as hell was thinking now. Inviting Buck to take his four-year-old trick-or-treating? That's insane, isn't it? Almost as insane as having Buck take his kid to meet Santa Claus after they've only known each other a few months. Almost as insane as having Buck watch Chris for him back in September when Carla had a family emergency but Eddie needed to go to the preschool's parent-teacher night to discuss Chris's IEP accommodations for the year. Almost as insane as Buck not only agreeing to watch Chris that night, but also showing up two hours early to answer any questions related to the IEP and what Eddie needed to start doing this year to help Chris make the transition to kindergarten -kindergarten!- next fall. Almost as insane as Eddie becoming so used to Buck practicing his kitchen skills for Eddie and Chris that Eddie had let himself fall behind in attempting to better himself in the kitchen. 

Buck had less than an hour for lunch, and Eddie knew he often spent it prepping is afternoon lessons or grading tests. But today, Buck was texting Eddie, was replying as fast as he could to the conversation in a way that seemed like he was trying to maximize the amount of conversation he and Eddie could have. They were racing against the clock, Buck had a finite break and Eddie could get a call at a moment's notice so they were sending back messages quickly to talk as much as they could. Then Eddie invited Buck to trick-or-treat with him and his son and Buck had stopped responding and Eddie felt like an idiot. Sure, the idea of Buck sitting home alone on Halloween didn't exactly seem right, but he'd probably rather take up plans to binge drink or pick up people at a bar or-

you mean it?

Buck's response came through and stopped Eddie's spiral. Eddie froze and reread it once, twice, three times. Eddie had gone out with Buck to have his kid meet Santa last year, but trick-or-treating? That's where Buck felt disbelief? Eddie responded in a very Buck-like way, multiple messages sent right after each other:

Of course I do.

If you wanna come you're more than welcome.

Chris probably will get tired pretty quick, though.

Maybe we could still watch a movie once we get him home.

We could steal his candy, he doesn't like caramel.

I think it's a texture thing.

Eddie has to close his phone to prevent himself from sending another rapid-fire text. It only takes a few seconds for his screen to light up with Buck's response:

what are we dressing as

Eddie opens his messages to send his text back:

We?

And isn't that something. Buck had agreed without even taking a second to verbalize his agreement, he just started planning right away. Planning a costume to match with Eddie of all things. "We." There's a feeling of deja vu in the air. Eddie's head is already spinning when Buck sends a response that has his stomach swooping:

fred and barney from the flintstones

chris is a purple dinosaur right

itll be like hes dino

or was dino pink

Not only was Buck trying to coordinate a costume with Eddie, he was trying to make it match Chris's costume as well. It felt too much like more-than-best-friends, coordinating a family Halloween get-up with Buck. Eddie's flattered, he's flustered, and he's filled with a deep need to shut that plan down. He responds:

Where the hell am I supposed to pull a Fred Flintstone costume out of my ass in the next three days?

It takes only a second for Buck to reply:

well ud be barney short stack

Eddie rolls his eyes despite his blush when he types back:

I am not going as Barney Flintstone.

He can almost hear Buck rolling his eyes when he reads the response:

its barney rubble dumbass

ur right tho idk where wed get the costumes so last minute

Eddie breathes a sigh of relief and almost thinks the idea of a matching costume is going to be dropped, but then Buck sends another text:

you got a cowboy hat mr texas?

Eddie takes a sip of coffee before he takes a breath and responds:

I think I have one in my closet, why?

Buck replies before Eddie can ponder too deeply about where the sudden subject change is going:

great we can be the cowboys on a dinosaur farm

Eddie blinks once, then twice, then responds:

What the hell?

Buck gives his reasoning in message after message:

well ik that it doesnt really really work

but its cheap and chris will probably think its fun

Suddenly, this idea is so much worse than the Flintstones, because it's still a family group costume but its a little forced to anyone who it isn't really explained to. It's a little too much like a couple's costume while they take Chris around dressed as something else. Eddie gives his best attempt to dissuade the idea:

I definitely only have one cowboy hat.

Apparently, Buck wasn't planning on borrowing one from Eddie:

i was a ranch hand in montana for like a month

i gotta get my students but tell me what time to head to yours on friday

if you wanna try flinstones instead of dinosaur cowboys lmk

or if you think of something else

stay safe on shift!

In the end, Eddie couldn't think of anything else or convince Buck that they didn't need to go in costumes to take Chris out on Halloween so when Friday rolled around Eddie opened his door to find Buck standing on his porch in blue jeans, a red plaid button down, and a black cowboy hat. 

"Absolutely not," Buck said instead of a greeting, eyeing Eddie up and down.

Eddie rolled his eyes and opened the door a little wider to let Buck inside while he says, "I haven't gotten changed yet."

Eddie is heading to his bedroom, distinctly not looking at Buck wearing that slightly too-tight shirt and a goddamn cowboy hat. Still he hears Buck's footsteps following behind him when he walks through his bedroom door and heads over to his closet to grab an old "cowboy-type" shirt. He owned a black button down with a western-type design embroidered in white on the upper chest and shoulders. It was a gift from his father, one he never wore but never felt right to just throw away or donate. Tonight seemed like a good enough excuse to finally wear it.

"Are you keeping the jeans on?" Buck's voice cut through the relative quiet. Eddie turned around to find Buck leaning against the doorway of his bedroom. Buck's hands were hooked casually through his beltloops and the hat he wore emphasized where his gaze was slightly downturned, looking towards Eddie's legs. Buck cleared his throat as he lifted his gaze up to Eddie's face only a second after he turned around. The air of casualness still encompassed Buck but Eddie could catch the slight blush on his cheeks as his eyes shot up. Was Buck... was Buck looking at Eddie in his jeans while his back was turned? Like, evidently he was. But was he looking as a friend who was trying to coordinate a costume? Or was he looking as someone who was interested in the way Eddie's jeans were clinging to the curve and shape of his legs?

"I, uh, I planned on it," Eddie answered after a moment.

"Good," Buck's eyes flicked down over Eddie once again.

Eddie should feel flustered. Hell, he could feel a slight warmth raising to his cheeks, but he kept his voice steady with a confident tone as he questioned, "Good?"

"Yeah, uh," Buck cleared his throat again, "Cowboys wear jeans, obviously. All you're missing is that hat."

Eddie turned around as he stripped off his t-shirt. He faced the closet again and pulled the button down over his arms and tried not to imagine whether or not Buck was watching him from behind because Buck was his best friend and just his best friend so surely Eddie was imagining the idea that Buck would be checking him out right now. He left the shirt unbuttoned as he reached up onto a higher shelf and pulled down a tan cowboy hat. Placing it on his head, he turned around and began buttoning his shirt as he walked towards Buck and asked, "Well? Vote of approval?"

His movement faltered over a button when he looked up to watch Buck's eyes dragging slowly over his half-bare chest. It made it hard for Eddie to tell himself he was imagining Buck checking him out. Buck pushed himself to be standing upright and let his face form a slight smile, nearly a flirty smirk, when he said, "Not too bad."

Flirting? Eddie was bad at. He didn't know how to do it. Especially not with a man. Especially not with Buck. But teasing? Teasing Eddie could fall back into easily. He let a slight smirk form on his face when he forced himself to keep buttoning his shirt and walked forward again asking, "Only not bad?"

Buck hummed in response, looking over Eddie's costume for a third time. It was teasing, not flirting, Eddie tried to remind himself. Just as Eddie had finished buttoning his shirt Buck reached out and swiped the hat off his head.

"Wha-" Eddie started to ask, but then Buck's own hat was replacing the one he just stole.

"There," Buck shrugged, "The black matches your outfit more."

Eddie was frozen for a moment. He tried to blink himself out of it. Buck was from Pennsylvania. Buck had not grown up around a cowboy culture. Buck had worked as a ranch hand in Montana for only a month so there was no way he could know. There was no way Buck knew the hat rule that Eddie would hear gossip about, whispered comments in his high school hallways or various events he would attend back in Texas. There was no way Buck would know the implication of placing his own hat atop Eddie's head after raking his eyes up and down Eddie's body.

There was a soft thump heard from a different room, followed almost immediately by a call of "Dad?" Eddie felt himself come back into his body.

"Come on, cowboy," Eddie took his tan hat from Buck's hands and placed it on Buck's curls, because if Buck didn't know the implication of giving his hat to Eddie he wouldn't understand the same meaning of Eddie giving his hat to Buck, "Sounds like Chris is up from his nap."

If Chris was excited for Halloween earlier in the week, the realization that he was spending Halloween with "Duck" left him nothing short of ecstatic. Eddie had had the foresight to keep it a surprise so that Chris actually would take a nap after preschool and before trick-or-treating. The smile on Chris's face when Buck explained that he and Eddie were the "cowboys on the dinosaur farm," watching after their "Chrisosaurus Rex," Chris had dissolved into giggles and squealed in delight. 

"You got dad to dress up too!" Chris cheered in delight.

"Of course," Buck replied, "Dinosaur cowboys work in pairs. We keep each other safe from the big dinos."

"Really?" Chris looked awestruck.

Buck just turned to Eddie with a smile, "What do you say? You got my back in a dinosaur stampede?"

Eddie matched his grin as he responded, "As long as you got mine."

The three wore matching smiles as Eddie and Buck walked with Chris slowly from house to house, Chris excitedly collecting candy.

"How'd you manage the night off anyhow?" Buck had asked nudging Eddie's shoulder.

Eddie asked his own question in response, "What do you mean?"

"When Maddie first started nursing I did a deep dive into the craziest nights of the year. Halloween is pretty high up on the list. I can only imagine the calls you'd be getting tonight," Buck explained.

Eddie gave a laugh as he conceded, "Yeah, I really only got off by dumb luck. Tomorrow night is gonna be sure to still have plenty of parties going on though."

"Oh, you don't need to explain Halloweekend to me. At least the full moon is still, like, a week away. Hopefully that helps to cut down the chaos a bit," Buck said it with such a seriousness that Eddie couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Are you serious?"

Buck threw Eddie a confused expression as he asked, "Serious about what?"

"You believe the full moon helps bring out the crazies?" Eddie raised an eyebrow, "Seriously?"

"Of course it does," Buck answered in a tone as if what he was saying was obvious, "The moon controls the tides, affects the seasons, the lunar cycle obviously affects the world around us. But when it's shining full? That's when it really influences our behaviors, pulls out a little more chaos from our souls."

"Really?" Chris asked.

Eddie shook his head fondly, "No, not really. Except the tide thing, that part's true."

"Oh, come on, Eddie," Buck groaned, "You really don't think the moon affects us?"

Eddie huffed a bit of a laugh, "I think that you'd make a pretty good firefighter, Buck."

This comment seemed to make Buck trip a little bit as he asked, "What?"

Eddie laughed fuller and straightened out Buck's hat, his hat, when he explained, "Just with how superstitious you are. You know, I can't even say the word 'quiet' at the station without Murphey losing his mind."

"Well yeah," Buck sent Eddie a slightly confused look as he let Eddie adjust the hat, "You'd probably jinx the whole shift to be crazy call after call."

Eddie caught Buck's eyes and held the gaze, "You sure you're not a first responder?"

Buck gave Eddie a soft smirk.

"Are you coming?" Chris called out from a few feet in front of them, shocking Eddie out of whatever moment he let himself think he was having with Buck.

Best friends, that's all they were.

Buck, Eddie's BFFFL, was laughing with Eddie's son while trick-or-treating and Eddie was not having any strong feelings about it whatsoever. Buck was carrying Chris on his back, galloping while Chris squealed and roared in delight, and Eddie snapped a picture of the moment simply because his friend made him smile. Buck was stealing a sour candy out of Chris's candy bag and making an overexaggerated pucker face to make Chris laugh and Eddie was grateful for Buck's friendship, nothing more. Buck was sitting on Eddie's couch, taking off Eddie's cowboy hat that he had been wearing all evening and leaving it on the coffee table, laughing along to Halloween-themed episodes of Phineas and Ferb because Chris insisted on the three of them watching it together. Eddie only felt 100% platonic feelings about the way that sitting there with Buck and his son watching cartoons felt like the three of them were well and truly family. Buck was there and he felt like so much more than a friend but Eddie was okay with that, he was okay with the little crush that still after months wouldn't leave him alone would always and forever remain just a crush.

And then hell broke loose when it was time to put Chris to bed.

"No!" Chris screamed while he thrashed around on the floor and Eddie cringed at the sound.

"Come on, buddy. You already got to stay up extra late tonight," Eddie was trying to reason with his son. There was no reason to be embarrassed, not really. Chris was four. He threw tantrums sometimes. All kids throw tantrums sometimes. Yet the knowledge that Buck was watching, that he was here for a meltdown of this size, it spring-loaded a coil of stress and insecurity deep inside Eddie's gut and Eddie couldn't stomach looking over at Buck watching the scene so he kept his eyes focused completely on Chris, trying to cradle his head as Chris went to bang it against the floor.

"No! No! No!" Chris was screaming on the verge of tears as he kicked his feet hard enough that Eddie probably had a few bruises on his thighs where he was kneeling to hold his son down.

"Chris, come on, you gotta get up and brush your teeth," Eddie did his best to keep his tone calm and level but he can feel his words coming slightly strained with the effort of reaching his arms under Chris's armpits to hoist Chris into sitting upright.

"Don't wanna!" Chris screamed as he thrashed out again, landing a slap square across Eddie's face.

"Chris! We don't hit," Eddie tried to keep firm voice steady as he responded to his son's misbehavior in near disbelief. Chris only screamed in response and tried to push backwards again.

"Hey," Buck's hand was on Eddie's shoulder and Eddie was so shocked at the contact and whispered voice his grip loosened on Chris, "Tag me in."

In Eddie's shock, blinking up at Buck in confusion of the man stepping in, Chris managed to wriggle fully out of Eddie's grasp and throw himself back onto the floor. Buck was squatting down to hold Eddie's shoulder but in the blink of an eye he fell fully to his knees and reached out to catch Chris's head before it could bang against the ground.

"Hey, hey, Chris," Buck's voice was gentle and soothing, "Hey, Chris, look at me."

"No!" Chris yelled and tried to push and hit against Buck, but Buck caught his arms and began to rub thumbs in circular motions where they were grabbing Chris.

"Shh, shh, shh," Buck soothed, "Shh, shh, shh."

It took a minute of Buck doing the shh-ing sounds and rubbing Chris's arms, but Chris's thrashing really did stop. Chris was now just crying on the floor, eyes squeezed shut to avoid looking at Buck.

"There you go, bud, there you go," Buck kept his voice soft, "Can you look at me, Chris?"

Chris blinked his eyes open and glared with all the rage a four-year-old could muster up at Buck. Eddie was staring at Buck, too, but simply in awe of the man soothing Chris out of his tantrum.

"Alright, Chris. Sit up for me, bud. Just like that, superman, there you go. Now, your dad said it's time for bed. It's bedtime," Buck explained to Chris once more.

"No," Chris protested again, throwing his arms to hit against Buck and Eddie watched as the smack against Buck's arm rang out. He expected Buck to pull away, to tag Eddie back in, to run for the hills and say that this wasn't what he signed up for on a Friday Halloween night. 

Eddie didn't expect Buck to throw a stern look at Chris and calmly but firmly state, "Chris, you can't hit people. Hey, look."

Buck waited for Chris's glare to resume it's focus on him before he raised his right palm out, "You can sleep in your monster truck pajamas," Buck paused to display his left hand, "or you can sleep in your rocket ship pajamas."

"No!" Chris exclaimed and wrapped his arms tightly around himself where he sat.

Buck furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, tilted his head, then finally asked, "Do you want to keep wearing your dinosaur costume?"

Slowly, Chris released his self-hug just slightly. Sniffling, he nodded his head. Buck looked over towards Eddie, eyebrows raised in question. There wasn't judgement in his glance, no frustration in his eyes, only the question of is that okay?

"Okay, bud," Eddie moved closer to place a reassuring hand on Chris's shoulder, "You can sleep in your costume."

And it was okay, really. The costume's fabric was soft, it wasn't unlike the plush onesies Chris has slept in when he was a little younger. At this point, Eddie was exhausted with the tantrum, flustered about Buck seeing his son screaming and thrashing about on the floor, and a little in shock at the way Buck was just so willing to jump in and help with nothing but kindness and care behind his words and actions. Eddie just wanted to finally get his son into bed, and as Chris nodded at permission to wear his dinosaur costume to sleep Eddie felt like they were actually getting there after all.

"Okay, Chris. We gotta brush your teeth now," Eddie could hear the tiredness in his voice as he spoke.

Chris grimaced and for half a second Eddie was expecting the screaming to return full force, but Buck cut in before Chris could deflect again and asked, "Do you want to walk to the bathroom or do you want one of us to carry you?"

Chris looked at Buck, then looked at Eddie, then pouted deeply and finally grumbled, "I can walk."

Buck nodded and got to his feet, leaning over only to help pull Chris to his own feet and ask, "Do you want your walker?"

Chris shook his head no and Buck looked to Eddie and asked, "He's good if we walk him, right?"

We.

Eddie felt like he couldn't breathe but swallowed around a choked up sound to respond as level as he could manage, "Yeah, yeah. Uh, just... Chris you can walk you just gotta hold our hands, okay?"

"Okay," Chris sounded tired and it tugged at Eddie's heart just how exhausted the little boy seemed.

The three walked down the hall, slow to match Chris's pace. Buck doesn't peel off once they get to the bathroom, he lingers in the space and watches Eddie take Chris through the nighttime routine of brushing his teeth and washing sticky chocolate off his hands and face. Chris is compliant, exhausted, throughout the whole process and once finished he allows Eddie to scoop him up and carry him to his bedroom. Buck doesn't peel off then either, he follows them both and hovers by Eddie's side all throughout tucking Chris into bed.

"Goodnight, Chris," Eddie mumbles as he presses a kiss into the little boy's curls.

"Sleep tight, Chris," Buck says, shooting Eddie a slight smirk at the rhyme he just made. Eddie is overwhelmed with fondness.

Best friends.

"Goodnight," Chris answers through bleary eyes, exhaustion taking over him.

"I love you, superman," Eddie whispers as he ruffles his son's curls, taking in the sight of his little boy in a dinosaur onesie finally calm and letting the last wave of sleep envelop him.

Walking back into the hallway, Eddie turns toward the kitchen rather than the living room. He offers to Buck, "Beer?"

He's grabbing two already when he hears the smile in Buck's voice saying, "Well, if you insist."

He's got both bottles popped open as he hands one to Buck, leading them back to the couch. Eddie sits and Buck slumps down at his side, letting out a strong sigh as he does so. He sips from the bottle casually, Eddie watching the curve of his lips and the slight bob of his Adam's apple.

Best friends.

"Thank you," Eddie says after a beat, "I'm sorry you had to deal with all that, but thank you, really."

Buck snorts, "He's a kid, man. These moments happen."

Eddie still feels awkward about the whole ordeal so he rushes to explain, "He's normally not like that."

"I know," Buck is raising his eyebrows at Eddie in a way to suggest he's speaking the obvious, which he is after knowing Eddie and Chris for so long. Buck knows Chris is not a child prone to acting out, and Buck justifies tonight's tantrum with such ease saying, "He was coming down from a sugar crash and already up later than normal. Not to mention all the walking he did today. Little dude must be exhausted. I'd scream and cry too if I were him."

Buck just makes everything so simple. A tantrum? Simple. A friendship? Simple. Eddie's feelings for a man for the first time in his life? Simple. The knowledge Eddie needs to put a lid on his feelings and accept the friendship as it is? Well, that's less simple.

Because Buck goes on dates, but Buck hasn't gone on a date in four months. Because Buck is a guy, but Buck is a bisexual guy so really it shouldn't be a problem, especially since it wasn't a problem for Eddie who had considered himself straight up until less than a year ago. Because Buck is young and Eddie and Chris are a package deal, but Eddie's young too and Buck's never shied away from Chris being the core focus in Eddie's life. Because Buck is Eddie's best friend, but that's what Shannon was too once upon a time. A best friend, but then more. And Eddie's friendship with Buck is already lightyears beyond anything he's ever felt with anyone before, even Shannon.

"Still, I'm sure this was not your ideal Halloween night," Eddie says, taking a sip of his beer.

"I dunno, Texas," Buck shoots Eddie a smirk, "I've been having a pretty good time."

Eddie's heart stutters as he takes in Buck's words. He wants this, he wants Buck. He wants this forever. He wants this for life.

"Are you crashing here tonight?" Eddie asks, because he can't ask Buck to stay forever but he can ask Buck to stay for the night.

Buck eyes his singular, barely-sipped beer suspiciously and asks, "Don't trust me getting home?"

"I don't trust Halloween," Eddie reasons with an eye roll.

"Ah, yeah," Buck teases, "All those evil spirits roaming the streets."

He's joking, it's a joke, Eddie is 73% sure Buck doesn't really think the "evil spirits" would affect his drive back. He's 100% sure Buck knows the idea of Eddie thinking there are dangerous evil spirits in the street is positively laughable. So Eddie laughs and chimes in, "Or the drunk drivers."

Buck smiles and sips his beer before asking, "Can I borrow a pair of sweats?"

Simple. Buck didn't even need to verbalize accepting Eddie's invitation to stay over, all he needed to do was ask for a pair of sweatpants. It was so simple to ask Buck to stay. Eddie wanted to ask for so much more. Eddie didn't want to stop himself from asking for so much more, and after all Buck's given Eddie it really, truly felt like Eddie could ask for anything and Buck would say yes.

So Eddie asks, "Do you want to go out for dinner?"

Buck blinks, confused. He glances to the kitchen then back at Eddie like he's trying to piece together a puzzle, "We already ate."

It's an out. Eddie can take it as an out, can redirect, but he really doesn't want to so instead he clarifies, "Another time. You set the date and I'll take you out."

The confusion on Buck's face melts away into an expression that's flustered but otherwise unreadable, "You'll take me out?"

"Yeah," Eddie breathes while holding eye contact, "If you want."

Buck begins to smile a bit, still blushing and still looking at Eddie a little funny as he says, "And you want me to set the date? Me, with my job, where I'm consistently off every weekend and not working 24-48 hour long shifts?"

"Next Saturday," Eddie suggests, "What's that, the eighth?"

Buck hisses through his teeth, "Oh, I can't that day."

"O-oh. uh," Eddie's caught off guard for a moment. Buck makes everything so simple, but this right now doesn't feel very simple. This right now feels like Eddie is trying but Buck is dodging the potential date with every word. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Eddie should take it back now, brush it off as best he can and-

"I'm kidding," Buck knocks his shoulder into Eddie's with a fond eyeroll, "Saturday works."

"Yeah?" Eddie can't believe it. How light it is, how absolutely simple.

"Yeah," Buck looks down and spins his beer bottle around in his hands, "Yeah, Eddie we can grab dinner next Saturday."

Simple.

"Cool," Eddie says, a smile growing across his face.

"Yeah, cool," Buck confirms, sparing a glance towards Eddie, "Now about those sweats."

"Right, right, okay, uh," Eddie huffs out a slight laugh and collects himself. He has a date with Buck next Saturday. He has a date with Buck next Saturday! "Yeah, let me grab you some."

By the time Carla shows up the next morning Chris is sticky with syrup after Buck made him pancakes and Eddie is frantically running around to get ready for his shift. Eddie has his morning routine down to a science: wake up with Chris, do some morning stretches together, throw some cereal in a bowl, then get ready for work. Eddie's routine was interrupted the moment he left his room to head to Chris to find Buck stumbling towards the bathroom in Eddie's sweatpants and t-shirt, the loose clothes on Eddie clinging tightly to the taller man. He almost felt bad having Buck sleep on the couch, but they should be taking this slow. Snail pace. Eddie couldn't fuck this up. He had a date with a guy, a date with his best friend, a date with Buck, and it was overwhelming and exciting in all the best ways so they needed to take it slow. That didn't mean Eddie could enjoy the view of Buck standing in his kitchen cooking breakfast for his son, so Eddie had watched with a soft smile. Though, he admittedly watched and teased and joked with Buck a few minutes too long and he seriously needed to get out the door. Only before he could...

"Carla, you think I can reserve your services next Saturday?" Eddie asked while tying his shoe.

"I think I can make that work, I'll double check my calendar tonight," Carla answered as she accepted a plate from Buck with a smile, "Not that I mind the extra shift, but what's the occasion?"

Eddie smiled, bright and unrestrained when he stood up and glanced over at Buck. Buck, who's eyes snapped upwards where he had clearly just been watching Eddie bent over. Eddie smiled even wider as he answered with a bit of smug pride, "I'm taking Buck out."

"Oh," Carla blinked, and then smiled widely and nudged Buck, "Finally getting yourself your man in uniform?"

"Hah-hah," Buck rolled his eyes and nudged Carla back. It seemed... It felt... Now Eddie had known Buck and Carla were friends. Good friends. Friends who went out to brunches Eddie had no doubt were filled with gossiping and teasing and... Had Buck talked about this with Carla before? About wanting this with Eddie, a date with him, before? Buck was blushing and kept his eyes downcast, distinctly not looking up and down at Eddie in his work clothes, as he continued, "We're just getting dinner."

Eddie smiled to himself. Buck was right, it's just dinner. This was just the first step. They would take this slow. Buck would take this slow for him. Eddie was so happy. He was set to be a few minutes late for his shift, but he was so very and truly happy.

They were definitely taking things slow. Eddie had wanted to take things slow. It was nice, at the start. Dating Buck felt an awful lot like what they were already doing, a lot like being best friends. Only now Eddie didn't have to pretend he wasn't catching Buck checking him out. Now, Eddie didn't have to pretend that his eyes weren't lingering on Buck's arms, on Buck's chest, on Buck's birthmark when he was looking at the other man. Now, Eddie could let his teasing fall more on the side of flirty, and Buck would always laugh and smile and flirt back even though Eddie had been told by numerous people he was a notoriously bad flirt. Now, when Buck and Eddie sat beside each other on a couch Eddie didn't let space linger between them and could soak up the physical contact of being pressed against Buck's side. Sometimes, Buck would even drape his arm over the back of the couch and Eddie could sit even closer, let his hand rest against Buck's knee so he was holding onto Buck in at least some way because he and Buck didn't...

Well, they didn't hold hands. Eddie half expected to on their first date. He expected Buck to try and hold his hand across the table of the hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant Eddie insisted had the second-best enchiladas in LA, only beat out by Abuela. When that didn't happen, he expected Buck to brush his fingers against Eddie's hand on the walk back to the truck. When that didn't happen Eddie nearly wanted to scream because he had been psyching himself up to be able to hold Buck's hand in public or even in the privacy of his truck for hours leading up to their dinner and Buck didn't even try. But, Buck did end the night saying, "This was nice, the two of us going out. We should do it more often," while looking down to hide his slight blush and Eddie reminded himself that it was worth it to take it slow.

One date turned into two, turned into three, turned into it being nearly a month and a half and they were still moving slower than a turtle in molasses. As the weeks rolled by Buck's presence in Eddie's life was even more consistent than before. He was around with Eddie, catching diners or brunches or beer nights. He was around with Eddie and Chris, on a zoo trip or a park trip or just around Eddie's house. He was fitting into Eddie's life so perfectly, transitioning from friends to friends-and-maybe-a-little-more, and sometimes Eddie just wished Buck would fit his hand into Eddie's as well. More often, Eddie just wished Buck would kiss him. Eddie wanted so badly to kiss Buck, but he needed Buck to take the lead in this. Dating with anyone besides Shannon, dating with a guy, dating with Buck was all so new Eddie needed to have Buck be the one to initiate the next step. Each day that passed where Buck still wouldn't kiss Eddie would send Eddie into a spiral that Buck really didn't want more with Eddie, he only went on dates to not loose the friendship Eddie knew was incredibly important to them both. Too often it felt like Buck wasn't actively trying to pursue the "more" part of being more-than-friends with Eddie, but then there were the moments.

There was Buck getting caught raking his eyes up and down Eddie's form. There was Buck not-so-subtly flexing his arms when he caught Eddie's gaze lingering on them. There was Buck brushing off strangers' attempts of flirting while they were out and teasing Eddie with a soft, "If I didn't know any better I would think you were acting jealous." There was Buck in Eddie's kitchen, most nights successfully cooking Eddie and Chris amazing homemade dinners but some nights waving a dish rag in front of a smoke detector and winking at Eddie saying at least he and Chris had the "best firefighter in LA" to keep them safe. There was Buck pinky-promising Chris he would sew up the toy cat that had a tear in it's leg. There was Buck explaining to Chris how a pinky promise could never be broken, how it was the most important promise you could ever give someone, and Eddie would watch in awe and think of Buck's keychain and know that teaching Chris a pinky promise was an acceptance of family. There was so much, but also so little, that it was driving Eddie a little bit insane.

"So I was thinking," Eddie started while passing Buck a beer, hoping their fingers would linger on the hand off but Buck grabbed the bottom of the bottle when Eddie was holding the neck.

"Thought I smelled smoke," Buck smirked.

"Don't be cute," Eddie chastised, warmed at the way Buck immediately blushed and dropped his gaze, "I was thinking we should go back to that light show this year, take Chris to see Santa sometime before it's time for the big night."

Something in Buck's expression fell so forcefully Eddie was flooded with concern and insecurity. Was this not okay this year? Taking Chris to see Santa now that Buck and Eddie would be going as... Boyfriends? Partners? People who were dating? Was this too soon? Too fast? They haven't even kissed yet, sure, but Buck was already so engrained in Chris and Eddie's lives. Buck had already been to take Chris to meet Santa, a feat Jones and Murphey would absolutely not let Eddie forget. The moment of silence passed a bit too long and Eddie prompted, "Buck?"

Buck blinked and disbelief laced his voice as he said, "Christmas is next week."

"Yeah," Eddie nodded but Buck wouldn't meet his eye, "Buck, are you okay?"

"Wha- Yeah. Sorry, yeah," Buck shook his head.

"You're lying," Eddie accused.

"No, it's not," Buck paused and shook his head a bit before looking back at Eddie, "Sorry, I just... I didn't write Maddie a Christmas card yet."

"Your sister?" Eddie blinked in confusion.

"Uh, yeah," Buck deflected his gaze and took a sip of his beer.

"I, uh," Eddie swallowed and kept his voice even, "I didn't realize you guys were back in contact."

"We're not," Buck's voice is a little cold.

"Oh," Eddie didn't really know what to say now.

Buck glanced back over to Eddie and his expression softened a bit when he spoke, "Sorry. I just... I always send a Christmas card. She doesn't... She doesn't respond but I always send one anyway. I didn't take a picture for it this year and I just... I don't know. I always send a card."

Eddie could see the complex emotions on Buck's face. There was pain, there was guilt, there was stress and worry. Eddie didn't want Buck to be standing in Eddie's house looking like that for even a second longer.

"Okay," Eddie nodded, "Christmas isn't here yet. Let's write a card."

Buck sighed, "I know. Just normally I add in pictures. What I've been up to the past year, a holiday-themed one... It's kinda stupid but-"

"It's not stupid," Eddie said firmly. He took out his phone and opened his Favorites photo album.

"I mean, it's a little-" Buck's voice is cut off again, this time by the sound of a text being received in his pocket.

Eddie sent him a photo, Buck and Chris covered in flour and egg in a baking disaster around Thanksgiving. Buck was trying to help Eddie and Chris prepare for a PTO bake sale, they ended up needing to bring in store bought treats which was a good thing considering the mess they made of Eddie's kitchen only resulted in cupcakes that were somehow simultaneously burnt and half raw. It was a happy memory.

Buzz.

Another photo came through, Buck sprawled out at Eddie's table, pouting at math sheets. When Buck had come over that day it was meant to be a productive time, Eddie keeping Buck's company to help with his focus. Of course, Eddie spent the time distracting Buck, teasing his need for a calculator when Buck had forgotten the answer key and needed to complete the worksheet himself before he could get any proper grading done. By the time Buck was actually sorting through worksheets he was pouty, adorably grumbling about how he should've just been a gym teacher, and looking so exasperated with his eyebrow pinching his birthmark inward that Eddie couldn't resist snapping a picture to capture the moment.

"I like these ones," Eddie shrugged when Buck looked up at him, a little confused.

"When did you take these?" Buck was asking with a hint of awe in his voice, flushing slightly.

Eddie ignored the question, "You could probably pass the bake sale off as Christmas cookies, if we pushed it. You groaning over math worksheets is definitely showing off what you've spent 75% of this year doing, too."

"You want me to send a picture of me and Chris?" Buck asked with a bit of disbelief outweighing the awe in his voice.

Shit. Was that overstepping? Inserting Chris into Buck's Christmas card to his sister was... Well that was sort of like meeting the family, wasn't it? The same spiral of Eddie's uncertainty and insecurity returned. Was that too much too soon? They still haven't even kissed yet. Things were moving so slowly Eddie couldn't stand it but he also didn't want to rush things either. The way that Buck fit into Chris and Eddie's family never seemed to leave Buck even remotely scared off but they've also never really talked about what Eddie having a son meant for his and Buck's relationship. They never really talked about their relationship at all. Eddie cleared his throat and averted his eyes.

"Well, I-I mean you don't have too. I just thought..." Eddie trailed off and for a moment he felt so insecure, so sure that he was taking this relationship far more seriously than Buck did yet again and-

"Do you have one of the three of us?"

Eddie's eyes shot back up to Buck, so sure that he imagined the question that he had to ask to clarify, "What?"

"I-I just mean... I mean..." Buck looked down for a moment, took a breath to collect his thoughts, then looked back up to meet Eddie's eyes, "Could I send Maddie a picture of all three of us, too? Would you mind?"

Eddie felt the corner of his mouth twitch up into a grin. He pulled his phone back out, scrolled a little higher in his favorites album, and texted Buck another picture, "How's this one?"

It was from the end of June. Buck, Eddie, and Chris all sitting together at the beach. A selfie Buck had taken on Eddie's phone the day that Eddie and Chris had taken him to celebrate finishing his first year of teaching. The day that Eddie had unsuccessfully attempted to clean Buck's face of ice cream. The day far before Eddie had even asked Buck out, but Eddie had nearly kissed him anyway.

"It's perfect," Buck said, smiling down at his phone.

Eddie wanted to step closer to Buck. He wanted to redirect Buck's gaze back onto Eddie's eyes. He wanted to push them forward, take the step. He wanted to kiss Buck so badly. Still, something held Eddie back. There was this feeling in his gut, and if nothing else firefighting has taught Eddie to be able to trust his instincts. It isn't the right time to kiss Buck now, no matter how badly Eddie wanted to. But maybe they could take a different step forward instead.

Eddie cleared his throat, pushing all thoughts of kissing Buck out of his brain, and asked in what he hoped was a casual voice, "Do you have any plans for Christmas?"

Buck put down his phone and groaned, "I don't know, man. Back around Thanksgiving my parents were actually trying to set up a get together. But then Doug said he and Maddie couldn't make it and it all just kinda... Well they didn't keep trying after that."

"So you're free?" Eddie clarified.

"Yeah, guess it'll just be me," Buck nodded, a little sad.

Eddie took a deep breath before speaking, "Abuela and Pepa are flying into El Paso for the week."

"That sounds fun," Buck gave a tight smile, "I bet you're excited to see everyone."

"Well I work Christmas Eve and 26th," Eddie informed, "It seems like a long trip to make Chris make for less than 24 hours in Texas. And on the busiest travel days of the year, too."

Buck raised his eyebrow, "So... It'll just be you two then?"

"Yeah, uh, well... That was the plan," Eddie let the words hover in the air for a moment. Buck was just staring, as if he could hear the invitation but couldn't quite believe it was really there. Eddie let himself continue, he let himself trust his instincts, "Unless, I mean... It could be the three of us?"

The question hovered for only a beat. 

"You want me to come over on Christmas?" Buck asked.

"Uh... Yeah. Yeah, I do," Eddie let himself be brave. He let himself take a step forward. He placed his hand on top of Buck's, who immediately tensed. Eddie didn't want to back down, but he didn't want to force Buck either, so he asked, "If you want. I mean, is that okay?"

Buck was staring at their hands, then looked up at Eddie with a shy smile.

"Yeah, I mean... I-I'd love too," Buck turned his palm around in Eddie's loose grasp. He squeezed Eddie's hand and Eddie's stomach swooped as his blush multiplied, but it only lasted a moment before Buck pulled his hand back. Still, he didn't step back to put distance back in between the two, so Eddie counted it as a win. Buck looked a little sheepish as he asked Eddie one more time, "You sure?"

The question made Eddie huff a little laugh.

"I'm sure, Buck."

Eddie Diaz has never been more sure in his life.

Eddie was tired. Christmas Eve was a long shift, draining and busy and full of coworkers who would rather be anywhere than at their place of employment. Even those who didn't celebrate Christmas were fed up about the chaos brought about by the holidays. Eddie nearly felt dead on his feet when the second shift came in, miserably, to relieve Eddie and his team. But on his way out the door Murphey was making kissy faces at Eddie and Jones was telling him she hopes he put up mistletoe and...

And Eddie would be home for Christmas, not only with his son but also with Buck, and that alone was enough to keep him awake and excited for the day to come.

Chris was even more excited. He was bouncing off the walls that Santa came to town, excitedly tearing apart wrapping paper and squealing in delight at his new toys and clothes under the tree. He insisted on saving one to open when Buck got there and Eddie's heart melted a little at the gesture.

Buck had come over in the mid afternoon, dressed in a Santa hat and dropping a pair of reindeer antlers on Eddie's head. He had a hat for Chris too, a size too big but still bringing an excited smile to Chris's face. Eddie's heart kept swelling throughout the day. Buck had taken over dinner preparations, all but kicking Eddie out of the kitchen so he didn't "poison them all." They had exchanged gifts, the three of them. Buck giving Chris a children's book about all different animals they often saw at the zoo, along with a toy fire engine that Chris exclaimed was "so cool!" It made Eddie proud, that his son thought his job was cool, he wanted to hold onto these moments of Chris's early childhood as long as he could. Eddie had been anxious, a little unsure of what to get Buck. They were serious, in that they had over a year of history together at this point and Buck was entwined with Chris's life already, but they also weren't serious in the fact that they still haven't kissed yet. When Eddie opened his gift from Buck, a Cooking for Dummies book with a miniature toy fire extinguisher thrown in the box, Eddie laughed and felt his anxiety melt away. He handed his own gift to Buck over, children's math flashcards and a new calculator which was the same shade of blue as Buck's eyes.

Buck had laughed and thrown the pack of flashcards at Eddie, calling him a jerk. Eddie smiled and sighed in relief. They matched each other perfectly.

When it was finally time to set Chris off to bed, his son had said "Merry Christmas, Buck" with such a sweetness that Eddie didn't catch why Buck froze.

"Merry Christmas, Chris," Buck said in such an affectionate way. He turned to Eddie, speaking softly and directly into Eddie's ear in a way that let Eddie feel the warmth of Buck's breath hitting against him, "I guess it's time to change my contact picture in your phone."

Buck. Chris had said Buck, not Duck. 

Eddie turned and looked at Buck's smile, so happy from having Eddie's son correctly pronounce his name. Eddie wanted to kiss him, right here in the bathroom just after they finished brushing Chris's teeth. He pushed down the urge and shot Buck a coy grin instead, replying, "No, I still don't think I will."

Buck had laughed and it was beautiful.

Eddie didn't want the day to end, the day of laughter and joy and pure family. After Chris was tucked securely into bed, happy but tired after the day of new toys, Eddie was relieved when Buck didn't grab his keys and head out the door but instead sat on Eddie's couch and pulled Chris's new game of Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots across Eddie's coffee table.

"Alright, let's go. Red or blue?" Buck looked at Eddie expectantly.

"Red like fire, man," Eddie scuffed and sat on the couch next to Buck, rotating the game so they could reach their appropriate colors, "I'm gonna kick your blue bottom."

Eddie won the first round, and the second, and the third. Buck's frustration amplified after the fourth round where he insisted he would win if he played as red but Eddie's blue robot still won in only a few seconds. Buck groaned and dropped to be leaning backwards on the couch, saying, "I'm gonna make you spar me for real."

Eddie barked out a laugh, "I guarantee that wouldn't help you."

Buck glanced up, looking cockily at Eddie from where his head was thrown back on the couch, and asked with a smirk, "What, you think you could take me?"

Eddie shifted a little closer, letting his own smirk grow as he answered, looking Buck up and down, "Oh, I know I could."

Buck moved to sit up, leaning closer to Eddie as he asked with a flirty tease, "You wanna go for the title?"

They were close. They were inches apart. All it would take was a slight shift from Eddie, a small movement to pull them even closer. Eddie wanted to kiss Buck so badly, and now here Buck was, lips inches in front of him and looking at Eddie with a charged confidence that didn't hide the way his pupils were blown a little wide. Maybe Buck didn't know if he was allowed to initiate, sitting there with the tense bit of space stuck between them. Maybe Buck was waiting for Eddie to initiate the next step. This felt like permission. Eddie let his gaze stare half-lidded at Buck's smirky grin as he let himself begin to lean those few inches closer, closer, until...

Buck was clearing his throat and shifting away.

What?

"Sorry," Buck mumbled.

What?

"It's, uh..." Eddie was a little in shock. Buck didn't want to kiss him.

What?

"Th-thank you. For today, by the way. It was, uh, I'm glad I got to share Christmas with you," Buck was saying as he awkwardly fidgeted with his fingers.

"I, uh," Eddie blinked a few times in confusion, "Anytime."

Anytime? What?

"I should probably be heading out soon, yeah?" Buck said, already pushing up from the couch.

Normally, this would be when Eddie would tell Buck to stay, to make breakfast in the morning, to wake up in the same house as Eddie and Christopher because Eddie always hated when Buck had to leave. But Eddie was still reeling a bit about how sharply Buck had pulled away so the only sound that escaped his mouth was, "Oh."

Buck was reaching into his pocket, grabbing his car keys and pulling them out, when a small object sprung from his pocket too and clattered to the floor. Buck froze for a moment, staring at it, letting out a soft "oh" of his own.

"What's, uh," Eddie cleared his throat, standing up and beginning to move to where the small metal object had landed, "What's this?"

Eddie bent down to pick up the cool metal. A key. He turned to look at Buck and did nothing to hide his still-present confusion.

"I, uh," Buck cleared his throat and attempted to throw Eddie a smile that didn't feel very genuine, "I know you know what a key is, Eddie."

"It's yours?" Eddie asked, holding it out to Buck.

Buck didn't move to take it, instead saying, "Actually, uh... It's yours. If you want it."

Eddie stared in confusion. Buck continued after a moment, "To my loft."

What?

Eddie's heart nearly gave out from the whiplash of tonight, "You're giving me a key?"

"I-I just thought... Like if there's an emergency, or if you left something at my place and I'm not there to let you in, or if-"

Eddie couldn't take it. Buck was giving him a key. Buck was giving him a key to his loft but Buck still refused to kiss him and Eddie didn't understand anything that was happening at all and he was so tired of taking all these milestone steps while still moving so slow so he had to ask, "Why haven't you kissed me?"

Buck, who had been looking anywhere and everywhere besides Eddie just a moment ago let his gaze snap to Eddie's eyes when he breathed out the question Eddie had been trying to push out of his brain the past few minutes, "What?"

"Why won't you kiss me?" Eddie repeated with a little more volume, more sure of his words mow that the concern was already voiced once.

"Y-you... You want me to kiss you?" Buck asked with such confusion it made Eddie want to scream.

Instead of screaming, Eddie let out a laugh of exasperation and said, "I mean it's been nearly two months, Buck."

Buck's confusion pinched even tighter on his face, "Two months? Wha-" Suddenly Buck's eyebrows shot high and his shoulders tensed, "Have we been dating?"

Oh.

Oh.

Buck still thought they were just friends.

Eddie felt his heart sink. Buck only ever thought they were only ever friends. Every moment that Eddie clung to the memory of, every instant of "proof" that their relationship wasn't all in Eddie's head, those meant nothing but friendship to Buck. Hell, maybe they didn't mean anything to Buck at all. Buck thought they were just friends, yet here he was after spending Christmas Day with Eddie and Chris and awkwardly presenting Eddie with a key of all things yet only as a friend? Eddie's hurt mixed with anger while he stared at the floor, unable to look Buck in the eye, and he responded, "No. No, I guess not."

"W-wait, Eddie-"

"I think you should leave, Buck," Eddie pressed the loft key back into Buck's hand and began to walk backwards.

Only Buck reached out and grabbed Eddie's arm to turn him back around and tried to insist, "Hey, hey, wait-"

"You should go, Evan," Eddie said a little more firmly, still avoiding looking at the man in front of him, speaking his given name for the first time, an action that had them both flinch a bit and allowed Eddie to pull his arm out of Buck's grip. 

"Eddie, I really didn't-"

"I get it," Eddie said, "I-I get it. I do. I mean, we, we work as friends. We're good as friends. And I have Chris and you're probably not looking to settle and I'm a bit of a mess and we... We work as friends. It's okay, just please don't... Don't try and let me down gently right now. Please just go."

Eddie felt so heartbroken, so incredibly angry at the world around him, he honestly wasn't sure he and Buck would come out of this. He wasn't sure they could go back to friendship -well, he wasn't sure he could go back to friendship, seeing how Buck never moved on to more-than-friends in the first place- but Eddie needed Buck to leave and he knew Buck and Buck wasn't going to leave until he got some sort of reassurance that they would be okay.

"Please go," Eddie whispered his insistence when Buck made no move to leave.

Instead of grabbing his things and moving to the door, Buck spoke a soft plea of his own, "Please let me kiss you."

Eddie's eyes snapped up to Buck, anger and disbelief colliding in his voice as he asked, "What?"

"I don't know how badly I fucked this up," Buck took a tentative step forward and raised his hand, pausing to hover just above Eddie's arm as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch him again. Eddie didn't want Buck to be allowed to, but Buck continued to speak, "I didn't know, I didn't know you wanted... I would have kissed you half a year ago if I knew I was allowed. Eddie, I... Say that I'm allowed. Please."

Eddie couldn't find his voice. All he could do was stare and pray his heart wasn't about to give out from the rollercoaster of emotions that had been unleased in the past ten minutes. In Eddie's silent staring Buck allowed his hand to fall onto Eddie's shoulder. When Eddie didn't pull away, Buck let his hand move over, cupping the back of Eddie's neck as Buck moved closer still.

"You can stop me," Buck whispered, half a breath left between them. Eddie probably should have stopped him, he probably should have pushed Buck backward and insist again Buck left. But Eddie didn't want Buck to leave. Eddie wanted...

Buck closed the gap between their lips in a slow movement, just a soft press. It was barely there, lasted only a second before the inches of space between them returned and Buck pulled slightly backwards to look into Eddie's eyes. Buck scanned his face, searching for a moment, and Eddie was sure the expression he wore was numb with shock and confusion and... 

Buck closed the space between them again, a little more sure of his movement. Eddie let his eyes fall shut, breathing out a little sigh as he allowed himself to ever so slightly press his lips back. The loose grip at the base of Eddie's neck tightened slightly and Buck's free hand was placed warmly on Eddie's hip. Eddie gasped a bit at the change in contact and Buck took the chance to kiss Eddie a little deeper. With Buck's tongue in Eddie's mouth he let himself be kissed, let himself kiss back more intentionally. It was soft and exploratory and Eddie could only hear the word "finally" looping in his mind around the ringing in his ears. Eddie let his hands reach out, holding onto Buck as Buck controlled the kiss for a few moments more. When Buck moved to pull back again Eddie let out a shuttering breath and chased Buck's lips, pulling them into a kiss once again. He felt needy and desperate but most of all he felt right, as if kissing Buck was the solution to any problem that Eddie has ever faced.

When they broke apart again, still clinging to each other slightly and both a little breathless, Buck spoke first in a soft voice, "That okay?"

Eddie let out another shaky exhale, "Yeah. Yeah, that was okay."

Buck began to smile and Eddie let himself match it. This was okay. They were okay.

"How long, uh... How long have we been dating?" Buck asked with a soft laugh.

"November 8th," Eddie had the date memorized and easy to recall.

Buck chuckled again, shaking his head a little sheepishly when he said, "You know, Carla kept trying to tell me that was a date after Halloween."

Eddie let a breathless laugh escape at the absurdity of the thought, "Well, uh... You know I thought that I did, too."

Buck let out a soft groan and let his forehead fall forward, resting against Eddie's for a moment before he pulled back again and asked, "Why didn't... I mean, how didn't I know you were bi?"

Eddie felt himself tense as he searched for a way to respond, "I don't- I mean, I'm not sure I am, I just..."

"Sorry," Buck stepped back a bit, awkwardness flooding the space between them, "I just thought... I mean with Shannon..."

"It's you, Buck," Eddie used his hold on the man to stop Buck from moving too far away, "I never really thought about liking guys, about liking genders. Just, just people. I know this means... I know this means I like guys but I don't think about liking guys. I don't think about liking anyone. I just know I like you."

"I like you, too," Buck said softly, smiling pure and unbounded.

"Yeah?" Eddie prompted, enjoying hearing Buck say that.

"Yeah," Buck confirmed, leaning forward to press their lips into yet another kiss.

Kissing Buck felt perfect. They probably needed to talk more, they probably needed to work a lot on their communication moving forward, but they could do that later. For now, Eddie let himself be kissed. For now, for beyond the foreseeable future hopefully, Eddie let himself kiss Buck.

Dating Buck, actually dating Buck, was so much better than Eddie could have ever expected. Buck was touchy in the warm way that was just shy of clingy. Eddie had never been one much for physical touch in the past, but now he finds himself melting into every arm slung over his shoulder, every hand placed on his hip, every kiss pressed firmly against his mouth which still releases butterflies in his chest. Buck kept most of his touches private between the two of them, something Eddie had appreciated. Even with Chris in the room, Buck would leave their touch as a hand rested on a knee, an arm slung more over the couch than over a shoulder, sometimes just their pinkies interlocked in a way that left Eddie blushing.

Eddie had considered sitting Chris down, explaining to him the shift from Buck being Eddie's friend to Buck being Eddie's boyfriend, and Buck had been fully on board with the conversation despite only just realizing they were dating a week ago. The plan was for Buck to come over tomorrow, make Chris and Eddie dinner and navigate the conversation with Chris together. Eddie just had to get through this shift from hell.

New Year's Eve was never fun, though the energy was slightly more lively than the somber mood of working Christmas Eve. It was just tiring, is all. Call after call after emergency after disaster. Time was passing no better than last year and Murphey's complaints about him running on fumes were wearing Eddie's patience a little thinner by the minute. But at 1:23 in the morning, after stepping out of the fire engine and hanging up his turncoat from the last call, Eddie checks his phone and sees the messages which help him smile.

happy new year!!!!!

😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘

ik we cant kiss for real so i sent a few extra virtual ones for luck

stay safe <3

come home in one piece

u got a big date tomorrow ;) id hate for you to miss it

Eddie can feel the way he's grinning like an idiot at his messages even before Jones is snorting and knocking her shoulder into his.

"Loverboy send you a New Year's kiss?" Jones is smirking with Murphey behind her, waggling his eyebrows and letting out a teasing "oooooooh" as if they're in grade school.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Eddie replies, shooting a message back to Buck.

😘 Happy New Year, Buck.

Get some sleep tonight, and get home safe from the bar <3

"Things are still good for you and the teach then?" Murphey asked with a grin.

"Better now that he's figured out we're together," Eddie smiled to himself as he let the comment out, knowing his teammates were going to have a riot with this tidbit of information.

Jones balked, "He didn't know?"

Eddie shrugged, beginning to walk over to the coffee maker. Murphey was quick on his tail asking with a laugh, "Are you joking? Please tell me that's a joke."

Eddie shrugged again smiling widely, "He's bad at math. Took him a while to figure out 'us' plus 'dates' equals 'relationship.'"

Jones shrieked in laughter, "You're kidding!"

"Serious as a heart attack," Eddie chuckled, filling his mug with some much needed caffeine.

"What tipped him off?" Murphey asked and waggled his eyebrows again, "You finally start showing your work?"

Eddie rolled his eyes and passed the coffee pot over to Murphey while saying, "I don't even want to know what you mean by that."

Eddie's phone buzzed again in his pocket and he took it out to peek at the messages.

home safe

im gona crash im a little drunj

i missed u tinight

be safe <2

Eddie snorted to himself as he typed back, Sleep well, Buck. I'll talk to you soon.

Jones, still laughing a bit, accepted the pot of coffee from Murphey and nodded her head towards Eddie to say, "Well, I'm glad you guys are finally figuring your shit out."

Eddie's mid-sip, formulating a response, when the alarm starts blaring overhead. The three let out a collective groan and left their coffees abandoned on the counter. It was New Year's, it was a long shift, it was tiring. But tomorrow Eddie would be starting out the new year with Buck by his side, bringing Buck even more officially into Eddie and Chris's lives, and that thought alone allowed Eddie to be just a little more energized.

Life keeps moving forward. In little ways, in big ways, in homecooked meals and grade school worksheets, in three alarm fires and family comments about Eddie being in a relationship with a man. Life moves forward with gentle touches and passionate kisses, with support and rejection alike, but with Buck being a steady presence by Eddie's side throughout all of it. Buck was there when Eddie's abuela cried tears of joy over the phone at the way Eddie admitted he was really, truly happy. Buck was there when Eddie received the disgusted voicemail from his Tio Armando, screaming disbelief that Eddie's parents would allow Eddie to "run off to LA" and "expose Chris to such a disgusting lifestyle choice." Buck was there after Eddie hung up on a tense facetime call with his parents, numb toleration for Eddie's "decision" without pride or acceptance and with a few too many judgmental questions about how Chris was taking "this whole thing." Buck was there through it all, gentle and strong and supportive and... maybe this was what it felt like to love and be loved.

Waking up warm on February 14th, pulled tightly into Buck's shirtless chest with heavy arms holding him in place tucked directly under Buck's chin, Eddie couldn't help but feel he wasn't far away at all from falling in love with Buck. As Eddie's eyes blinked themself awake he began tracing soft shapes into Buck's back, rousing him awake as well.

Buck let out a hum, pulling Eddie a little closer and speaking with a slightly rough voice, "Hey."

"Good morning," Eddie replied, letting himself be pulled in a little closer.

Buck pressed a kiss to the top of Eddie's head, a bit disoriented in his tired state, and began moving his thumbs in slow circles where they were holding onto Eddie's form. His voice was still rough but a little more full as he mumbled, "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Nah-uh," Eddie grumbled, pulling away just a little bit, "We did all that sappy shit yesterday."

"Not my fault you work on the real holiday," Buck defended, trying to pull Eddie back in just a bit.

It was Buck's idea, after Eddie told him how he was on the Valentine's Day shift this year. Buck decided then that they'd celebrate on the 13th. Eddie dropped Chris off for a sleepover at Tia Pepa's mid afternoon and joined Buck for the rest of the night. Buck had taken Eddie to the same Mexican restaurant as their first date, a do-over that wasn't really a do-over since Buck insisted the first two months of their relationship still counted even if Buck wasn't aware they were in a relationship. It was a nice evening, full of joy and laughter and teasing before they retreated to Buck's loft to watch a movie and cuddle on Buck's couch. Then they headed upstairs to do a little more-than-cuddle in Buck's bed and honestly? Eddie was still on cloud nine.

"Speaking of," Eddie pointed out, "We gotta get up."

"Time is it?" Buck grumbled.

"I dunno," Eddie hummed noncommittedly and let himself be pulled back into Buck's embrace a little more, "But the sun's up."

"Your alarm go off?" Buck asked why he played a bit with Eddie's hair.

"Not yet," Eddie admitted.

"Good," Buck said, rolling them a bit so Eddie laid flat on his back and Buck hovered just on top of him, caging Eddie in with an arm on either side, "Then we got time."

Eddie let Buck lean down, kissing him in a warm and exploratory way for just a few minutes, just until Eddie could feel the subconscious rock of his body up into Buck's and sense how he was mere seconds away from letting himself be fully lost in the kiss. He let Buck kiss him until he was right before his breaking point, then he gathered his strength to thrust his hips purposefully upwards to flip the pair over, landing Buck on his back and leaving Eddie straddling his hips above him.

Buck let out a gasp as his back hit the mattress, looking up at Eddie with a mix of awe and adoration and a little bit of lust as he breathed out, "Hey."

"Hi," Eddie smirked in response, leaning forward to press another kiss onto Buck's lips. Buck tried to kiss back with increased force and passion but Eddie pulled up and away.

"Where'd you go?" Buck asked in protest, letting his eyebrows scrunch together.

Eddie huffed out a laugh and looked down at his boyfriend, "Hopefully, to get coffee."

Buck groaned and let his head fall backwards, "Seriously?"

Before Eddie could answer beeping rang out from his phone on Buck's nightstand. Buck groaned again and Eddie laughed at the sight underneath him before he rolled off of Buck and shut off his alarm. He stood up and grabbed a loose fitting t-shirt, one of Buck's, off the floor and began pulling it over his head saying, "I'm gonna brush my teeth. Meet you downstairs?"

"Yeah, yeah," Buck rolled over to grab his own phone off the night stand, "I'll be down in a second."

When Eddie was leaving the bathroom Buck almost crashed into him on his way in. Eddie laughed and put his hands up to catch Buck in his path, "Whoa there, cowboy."

Buck chuckled as he found his footing, "Sorry, sorry, I didn't see you coming."

"In a rush?" Eddie raised an eyebrow.

Buck shrugged, "Just wanna maximize our time together this morning."

Eddie lifted an amused eyebrow, "Maximize our time together?"

Buck blushed and ducked his head, "I, uh... well now that I don't have to, I don't really want to spend another Valentine's Day without you, you know? Sorry. Is that too much? I just-"

Eddie's smile pulled a little more smug, "I mean, technically speaking we spent last Valentine's Day together too."

Buck's bashful smile shifted into a smirk, "What, you mean when you crashed my date to get me all to yourself?"

"Chris was there, too," Eddie pointed out. Buck gave a fond look and leaned forward a bit, but Eddie leaned backwards, "Nah-uh. You can kiss me after you brush your teeth."

Buck pouted, "Wasn't a problem five minutes ago."

"That was back when my morning breath was almost as bad as yours," Eddie teased.

"Almost as bad?" Buck played up his exasperation, "I wasn't the one who fell asleep after they spent half the night with their mouth wrapped around my-"

"Okay!" Eddie laughed and smacked his hand against Buck's chest, "Get moving, smartass. I'll start the coffee downstairs."

"Be right down," Buck said with a wink, finally pushing past Eddie and into the bathroom.

Eddie's good mood didn't dissipate as he headed down the stairs to the loft. It didn't even deflate as his movement to the coffeemaker was interrupted by a knock on Buck's apartment door, though he did grow confused. He moved slowly over to the peep hole, looking out to see a woman standing a little anxiously in the hallway. She knocked again, a little more forcefully, and Eddie took a step back in confusion letting the annoyance bleed over the joy he had been feeling just a moment ago. He unlocked the door, cautiously swinging it open and suspiciously eyeing the random brunette who was knocking on his boyfriend's door at 5:15 in the morning on Valentine's Day of all days.

"Can I help you?" Eddie asked, blocking the doorway and throwing the woman a look that was the exact opposite of warm and inviting.

The woman seemed to startle and took a step backwards at the sight of Eddie, "S-sorry I was looking for..." She paused then, looking Eddie over and it appeared that a realization passed through her eyes, "You're... Eddie, right?"

Eddie let his brows pinch in confusion as he crossed his arms and asked, "Do I know you?"

"N-no. No, sorry. I just..." The woman trailed off, looking sheepishly at the floor while she searched for words. She raised her hand and began to fiddle with the necklace which was previously tucked underneath her shirt. As she took a breath to collect herself Eddie caught a glimpse of the familiar charm around the chain, two hands interlocked in a pinky promise. Eddie raised his eyebrows in his own realization.

"You're Maddie," It wasn't said as a question, but rather a cross between an observation and an accusation.

Maddie's fidgeting with the charm froze, staring at Eddie like a deer caught in headlights and asking, "Evan's talked about me?"

"He didn't mention you were planning a visit," Eddie responded. Maybe the harshness of his tone wasn't completely warranted, but Eddie was feeling a little protective over Buck against this woman who had left him all alone as a child. He was also feeling a little annoyed at Buck because their communication had been so good recently and yet he never mentioned his sister reaching out and-

"He, uh," Maddie shifted her weight awkwardly, "He didn't know."

Well that explains that part, at least. 

Eddie looked over Maddie once again, letting his eyes linger on the small bag she carried behind her then fall back to the pinky promise charm necklace she wore. He sighed a bit, opening the door wider and stepping back, nodding his head to signal to her to follow him inside. He moved forward into the loft, pausing to call up the stairs, "Hey, Buck!"

"Yeah, one sec!" Buck called back down.

"Right now would be a little better," Eddie tried again.

He could hear Buck's laughter in response, footsteps shuffling upstairs. Eddie watched as Buck came into view, his heart fluttering despite the situation at the sight of Buck in loose sweatpants and one of Eddie's LAFD t-shirts.

"What's the..." Buck stopped mid sentence, mid decent, eyes catching on his sister as he froze. 

"Hi," Maddie waved a little weakly.

"M-Maddie?" Buck sounded a little breathless.

"Hi, Evan," Maddie said with a little more confidence.

"I-it's, uh," Buck slowly resumed walking down the staircase as he spoke, "I go by Buck now."

"Yeah, yeah, right. Sorry," Maddie shook her head a bit.

"What are you doing here?" Buck asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He paused there, lingering next to Eddie instead of moving closer to where Maddie stood a few feet away.

"I just... I thought I'd stop by when I passed through town," Maddie gave as explanation. She put her hands into her pockets -Eddie noted how she seemed to fidget only slightly less than Buck so often does- and took in the sight of Buck in front of her. She nodded at the shirt Buck was wearing and asked, "So, you're a firefighter now? What happened to teaching?"

"I-I'm not a firefighter," Buck cleared his throat.

"I am," Eddie supplied, arms crossed and stepping a little closer to Buck's side.

"R-right," Buck's attention shot back towards Eddie for a moment before looking back at his sister, "Maddie, th-this is-"

"Eddie," Maddie finished for Buck. When Buck's eyebrows raised Maddie gave him a soft smile and continued, "He was in your Christmas card."

"So you have been getting them," Buck noted, letting his own arms cross in defensiveness.

Maddie winced, only slightly, "Y-yeah. I just..."

"Where's Doug?" Buck's question was blunt.

A visible coldness passed over Maddie when she answered sharply, "Don't know, don't care."

"You left him," Buck said, softness lacing it's way through his voice. Eddie could see the second the defensiveness and anger and wariness evaporated from Buck's shoulders. All the guards Buck put up to protect himself melted away instantaneously, but Eddie felt his own solidify. He knows how much Maddie sending Buck away on his own had effected Buck, he knows the shock and whiplash Buck must be experiencing seeing her stop by while "just passing through."

"I couldn't..." Maddie started, "I couldn't stand to spend another Valentine's Day with him."

It was such a contrast from Buck admitting he didn't want to spend another Valentine's Day without Eddie that he felt the tug pull at his heartstrings on Maddie's behalf. Then, Eddie caught a quick glimpse at the slight bruise on her arm that Maddie was trying to hide by pulling her sleeve down and he felt his resolve further crumble. The silence of the room felt thick and suffocating and Eddie couldn't let it fester much longer.

"Okay, then," Eddie cleared his throat and caught Maddie's eye, "How do you take your coffee?"

"Oh. Uh," Maddie started, but Buck cut her off.

"Wh- Eddie, you need to get ready for work."

"What I need," Eddie rolled his eyes, "is the coffee I wanted to make fifteen minutes ago."

"You have a shift," Buck stated flatly.

"I'm sick," Eddie shrugged, throwing a look over at Maddie, then back to Buck.

Maddie looked confused but Buck just stared at him deadpan, tone unbelieving when he flatly repeated, "You're sick."

Eddie held Buck's eye contact and raised a fist in front of his mouth. He forced a cough once, twice, the sounds a short staccato. The corner of Buck's mouth twitched into a smile and Eddie felt the sense of victory flood through his veins.

"Don't be a dumbass," Buck shook his head fondly.

"That's your job," Eddie nudged his shoulder into Buck's, matching the small grin, "Let me call my captain."

"I'll let you get ready for work," Buck emphasized.

"But-" Eddie was cut off.

"Eddie, I love you and I thank you but I can handle this," Buck then lowered his voice as if Maddie wasn't just a few feet away, "I think I need to handle this just me, first."

Eddie was frozen, staring at Buck, blush on his cheeks and ringing in his ears. Apparently, Buck took his silent staring as resistance because he began to push Eddie up the stairs urging, "Go. Get ready. I'll make a coffee for you to go."

"O-okay," Eddie murmured, letting himself be pushed away. He would've been there, had Buck wanted him to stay. He would've left without argument after Buck had told Eddie that he needed to first confront his sister on his own before leaning into Eddie's support. But Eddie needed prompting to move because three words in Buck's voice were spiraling through his head.

"I love you."

Eddie's body felt a little water logged as he moved about pulling on his work clothes and gathering his belongings on muscle memory alone.

"I love you."

Did Buck mean that?

Eddie grabbed his wallet.

"I love you."

Sure, Buck loved Eddie, but did Buck love Eddie?

Eddie picked up his duffle bag.

"I love you." 

Buck hadn't meant to say it, that much was obvious by how the conversation continued forward -Buck not even blinking at the weight of the words he just said- but just because he didn't mean to say it doesn't mean he didn't mean it. Eddie thought about his last few months with Buck, he thought of the past two years with Buck, he thought of the soft smiles and the playful teases and the warm kisses and Eddie knew.

Buck meant it, even if he didn't realize it yet. Buck loved him.

Eddie began to walk back downstairs, put together in his uniform and with his duffle slung over his shoulder.

"I love you."

Was Eddie even ready to say it back?

Eddie rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. Maddie was sitting at the table, eyes lifting from staring at her mug to watch him enter the room. Buck approached Eddie and placed a full tumbler of coffee into his hands.

"I don't need to go," Eddie said softly.

"Yes," Buck rolled his eyes, "You do."

"But I could stay," Eddie tried again, "If you wanted."

Buck gave Eddie a soft smile, "I know."

Eddie smiled back a little tighter, "But you want me to go?"

Buck looked down, a little sheepish, "Just for now. I need to..."

Buck looked over at his sister, sitting tense and tired at his kitchen table. She seemed nervous, almost skittish, and doing her best to act like she was strong and unbothered and like she certainly wasn't watching and listening in on Buck and Eddie's interacting with the same curious fascination that Chris and Buck use to stare at the penguins play together at the zoo. Eddie understood. Buck needed a moment with her, he needed Maddie not to be overwhelmed by the presence of a stranger and he needed himself to be allowed the time to process everything, too. Eddie took a sip of the coffee Buck prepared, smiling to signal how it was made perfect to Eddie's liking, the same way it always was.

"You'll keep me updated?" Eddie asked.

"I will," Buck confirmed, visibly relieved how Eddie wasn't pushing any further for Buck to allow him to stay. He gave Eddie a tired but genuine smile and added on, "Stay safe on shift."

"Always," Eddie responded on instinct, but as Buck began to step backwards he called for his attention again, "Hey, Buck."

"Hmm?" Buck paused.

Eddie took a breath, matched Buck's eyes, and spoke, "I love you, too."

Eddie could see the sharp exhale of surprise leave Buck's lungs as he tensed. A moment passed, then two, and Eddie felt the corner of his mouth begin to twitch with the hint of a grin as Buck breathed out a soft question of, "What?"

Eddie didn't respond verbally, simply allowing his smile to fully form, so Buck tried a different prompt, "Too?"

Eddie's smile took on a smirky edge as he pointed out, "You said it first."

Buck's eyebrows pinched in confusion, thinking for a moment, before they shot up high and wide and Buck breathed out a soft, "Holy shit."

Eddie laughed, letting his eyes crinkle with the joy he felt inside.

"Holy shit, Eddie, I-" Buck's mind was clearly whirling, so Eddie cut him off.

"Hey, Buck," Eddie placed his hand on Buck's shoulder and waited until Buck made eye contact before continuing, "We'll talk later, okay?"

"Y-yeah," Buck breathed out.

"Hey," Eddie squeezed Buck's shoulder then nodded his head over towards Maddie, "One step at a time, yeah? Focus on your sister. Call me if you need. I got your back."

"I know," Buck assured Eddie, his smile a little less overwhelmed and a little more awestruck, "Thank you."

"I could still catch the flu," Eddie offered, albeit jokingly, just one more time.

Buck gave Eddie a little shove, "Go to work. We'll talk later."

"Okay, okay," Eddie backed up a few steps but then paused, flashing Buck one last smile, "I love you."

Buck shook his head fondly.

"I love you, too," Buck answered with intention and purpose.

Eddie's heart swelled with joy. There was still so much more to come: more navigating family dynamics, more milestones, more fighting, more growth. There was still so much future to come with Buck. But Eddie was optimistic. Buck loved Eddie. Eddie loved Buck.

This was only still their start, but Eddie couldn't wait to see what happens next.

Chapter Text

March 2009

Photographed: A "Greetings from Georgia" Postcard featuring a scenic background.

Dear Maddie,

I bet you're surprised to hear from me. I'm done being mad at you... Mostly. I've been bouncing up and down the east coast for a few months now picking up some odd jobs. Haven't found my place yet but I've met some cool people. Just no one as cool as you. I miss you.

P.S. I'm sending these to the hospital cuz I don't trust Doug not to toss them in the trash. Have you left him yet?

June 2009

Photographed: A Virginia Beach Postcard featuring a sunset.

I finished school! Bartending school. I'm the coolest mixologist in Virginia Beach. I met this girl who likes to surf and I started learning. I really like the ocean, maybe it's cuz I never got to see it as a kid. When I'm out there it just feels like nothing's impossible. There's no stopping me now.

I miss you, ya know.

November 2009

Photographed: A "Greeting from Florida" Postcard featuring an orange sunset. 

Included in Envelope: A photograph of Evan in an orange construction vest.

I stopped bartending. And surfing. That thing with the girl seriously did not work out. I'm doing construction now, working with these guys who frame houses all over. It's kinda fun, just going wherever the Jeep takes me. We're taking good care of each other, me and the Jeep.

Thanks, Maddie.

February 2010

Photographed: A "Golden State" Postcard featuring the Santa Monica Pier.

Included in Envelope: A Photograph of Evan smiling behind a bar, hair styled with frosted tips.

The Jeep took me all the way across the country. When I got to California I decided to pick up bartending again. Figured I'd stay here for a bit, you know how much I like the ocean. Actually, I think I'm gonna be heading back to school. Real school. To be a teacher. Mom and Dad would probably be proud. I mean, let's just see if i get in, actually.

I'll keep you updated.

May 2010

Photographed: Evan holding a picture of a college acceptance letter.

I'm going back to school! Officially, now. It's kinda weird, knowing I'm gonna be there with all those fresh-out-of-high-school freshmen but I mean the school said they'd accept some of my transfer credits from my last try at college. I'll be a teacher in no time, just wait and see.

I love you.

December 2010

Photographed: Evan in a Santa hat, smiling, having a drink with friends dressed in similarly festive attire.

One semester down and I haven't flunked out yet! I actually don't hate the studying. I think I really like reading when I'm interested in whatever I'm reading about. I wish I had a picture of me in the library, you would not believe how much time I'm willingly spending there. Quieter than the house with these guys, it's a fun bunch though. Get this! The two guys to my right? All three of us are named Evan. The one on the side goes by Evan, the one next to me goes mostly by Ev, and the guys have started calling me Buck instead. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Merry Christmas, Maddie. I hope Doug got you something nice.

December 2011

Photographed: A selfie of Buck with reindeer antlers sitting behind a bar.

Included in Envelope: A picture of Buck and a woman smiling together on the beach. A small silver necklace with a charm engraved with the image of two hands grasping pinkies.

Merry Christmas! Sorry I haven't sent any postcards this year, if you're still getting them. I'm still in LA. Different address, now. Moved out of the boy cave and in with my girlfriend! Her name is Abby, she's the one in the second picture. She's really great, she's helped me grow up a lot I think. I think I've been good for her, too. Taught her how to let loose a bit. She's been going through a lot, but she's gonna travel for a bit, sounds like a page out of my book, right? I'm gonna hold down the fort here in Cali, with the credits I transferred in I'm able to start student interning after next semester. I don't really want to start over again, I think LA's been good for me. But, when she gets back, maybe we can call together? Have you guys meet. I still have the same number (XXX) XXX-XXXX. I'd love to hear from you.

P.S. I sent you a little Christmas gift. Saw it and it reminded me of you. I've the same charm on my keychain. I guess it's silly but I hope you like it anyway.

December 2012

Photographed: A picture of Buck outside an elementary school smiling broadly.

Merry Christmas! Another year, another Christmas card. I'm still in LA, but new address again. Living on my own now. Abby didn't work out, clearly. For the best, probably. I finished my first semester as a student-teacher. A teacher's aide is the official title I guess. I work with third graders, pretty cool right? It's been good. Rewarding. I'm still sticking with it. I'm gonna graduate in May, can you believe it? Never imagined myself as someone to have, like, a career. Just think, this time next year I won't be living off tips anymore. I haven't changed too much, don't worry. In October I dislocated my shoulder after stepping on a rotten pumpkin. I'm fine, obviously. I think it's a funny story looking back on it. I hope it makes you laugh.

December 2013

Photographed: Buck standing in front of a Christmas tree at a park.

Included in Envelope: A picture of Buck wearing graduation regalia. A picture of Buck wearing an apron and holding a pan with burnt... Maybe... Vegetables? Chicken? Food?

Merry Christmas Maddie! I don't think I need to tell you that I'm still in LA. I think it's safe to say I'm planting roots here. My bartending days are officially behind me, for good this time. I'm teaching now. I'm a teacher. I teach fifth grade. We're only four months in but I love it. Except the math lessons, but hey, you can't have it all. I'm learning to cook. Trying at least. Promise I'm better than it looks in the picture I sent.  I just thought that pic might make you smile. I've been practicing a lot, cooking dinners for my friend Eddie and his kid. They're sweet, the two of them. I think you'd finally approve of my friends. Love you, Mads. I hope you're doing good too.

December 2014

Photographed: A picture of Buck wearing an apron, covered in raw egg, laughing with the same boy who seems to have just spilled a bowl of baking dry ingredients.

Included in Envelope: A picture of Buck pouting in front of math worksheets. A picture of Buck, a man, and a little boy with crutches sitting on a beach together and smiling.

Dear Maddie,

Merry Christmas! Sorry, I normally try and send a more festive picture for these cards. It's been a busy few months I guess. Mom and Dad were trying to put together that holiday dinner thing but once Doug said you two wouldn't make it they kinda stopped pushing for me to visit Hershey too. Probably for the best. You know, I don't even know if they know I've settled here for real. I'm gonna spend Christmas with my friend Eddie instead, I think I probably mentioned him last time. It's him in the picture, with his son Chris, too. Again, I promise I'm better in the kitchen than these pictures make it seem, Eddie just said that that picture makes him laugh. I maintain that the baking disaster that day was his fault. I think you'd like him, though. He's my best friend, honestly. We've been hanging out a lot and I'm excited to celebrate the holidays together. I'd much rather answer his kid asking me about which dinosaur would win in a fight than deal with whatever Mom and Dad would have to say about me being too irresponsible to run a classroom. Year two of teaching is going really well. I hope you're doing alright. I know Doug told Mom and Dad you guys were busy, but I'm sure Eddie wouldn't mind you coming for Christmas too. It might even be nice for you guys to meet. You could even bring Doug if you needed. 

I love you,

Buck.

P.S. Not just Christmas. Anytime. You know where to find me.