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“... They will all be remembered. For every Autobot, no matter how lowly his function, is a unique cog in the machine,” Sentinel Prime finished his pathetic excuse of a eulogy. Only Optimus Prime had been mentioned by name, the rest just another cog. Not even worthy of knowing.
Longarm Prime had his servos clasped behind his back with his optics offlined while Shockwave stared at the sham of a funeral, at the expressionless hologram of Bumblebee. No, his sparkling had never looked so empty, expressions freely given at the slightest of contact.
They’d made a mockery out of him.
Shockwave’s spark felt like it was melting its chamber, something he knew was impossible yet still it felt like agony. Bumblebee wasn’t dead but they had still given up the search.
The moment it was socially acceptable to he onlined Longarm’s optics and left, unable to stand it a moment longer. Not wishing anyone to recognize him, to hear their thoughtless condolences and well wishes when this whole facade was filled with people who knew nothing .
Longarm walked into Ultra Magnus’ office, the leader of the Autobots working instead of looking outside at the memorial. “You didn’t ask me to speak at the funeral,” Longarm said, keeping his tone even.
Ultra Magnus glanced up at him before looking down at the data again, unable to meet his gaze. “Sentinel Prime knew most of them. It… seemed only right he got to speak about his fellow cadet and those he had once trained.”
Shockwave held back from mocking him. “He didn’t know them, he knew Optimus ,” Longarm said, not able to hold back a hiss to his words, “I am the head of information, I at least knew their names.”
Ultra Magnus ex-vented, finally looking up at him. “I know you don’t believe they are dead, Longarm,” he said and to Longarm’s surprise there was grief in his eyes, “I wanted to spare you the pain.”
“No,” Shockwave said, understanding at last as he withdrew into himself. Ultra Magnus had been a caretaker too, “you project your own feelings onto me, Ultra Magnus, I have no reason to grieve. The lost opportunities you mourn are not mine, when my charge left from under my wings I knew how he went on without me. I would have words to say at his funeral, unlike you.”
Ultra Magnus shuddered, then his grief turned to pity, “you will have to accept their deaths one day, Longarm Prime. Nowhere in the galaxy can we find their life signals nor signs of the Allspark.”
“You will continue the search,” Shockwave said without room for anything else, “and only when you find their cold sparkless bodies will I accept that he is gone.”
-
Shockwave set to work taking control of and ruining the Decepticons in the wake of Megatron’s reported death. Lost, it was easy to dig his claws in and give the illusion of stability. Longarm’s agents were well informed, just as long as he paced it out to realistic Autobot activity range no one would suspect a thing.
Longarm Prime however couldn’t affect the Council, despite using his information and tactics they dismissed his opinions. He was too young, too idealistic, too radical in wanting change. Shockwave learned quickly that he couldn’t stand out lest he compromised his position, his opinions forced to revert to mild agreement and disagreement before his ‘grieving’ period was over.
He did what he could to make sure that Bumblebee would come back to a safer Cybertron even if he couldn’t change its cruelty. Not yet, not the way that Autobots supposedly wanted change to happen, but he’d figure it out. His Bumblebee was an Autobot, he could never find out what Shockwave would do. So his research would have to be undetectable, he had time.
Shockwave hadn’t expected that every passing stellar-cycle would make him more tired. His processor slowed down despite his efforts to keep up his work, it became harder to think. It became harder to do anything at all.
You will have to accept their deaths one day.
Bumblebee was alive. They’d find him. Even if the Autobots gave up, Shockwave wouldn’t. He looked but the galaxy was big. The stars laughed at him for trying to find something so small within them. His sparkling bright and shining in his arms was nothing but a speck of dust in space.
He never should have let Bumblebee go, he should have been with Shockwave. By Longarm’s side where he could keep him within arms length and pull him out of danger. He’d be able to stare at him and see him move and laugh. Megatron would’ve never had the opportunity to attack him, Shockwave would never have needed to choose.
-
Shockwave thought about it often nowadays: What if Bumblebee was dead and Megatron lived? What if Megatron spoke to him now and he would never find his sparkling?
It all started to feel so meaningless now, fighting for a future so uncertain. He longed to be a Decepticon again but when he thought of Megatron all that came up were the last moments he saw Bumblebee again. No, he could never be loyal again. His spark thrashed and burned at the thought of being by Megatron’s side, helping him, after what he’d done.
He could never forgive it nor move past it, Megatron had taken all he’d had.
-
Shockwave thought often about what he’d do if they found Bumblebee sparkless. It calmed him on days his spark would hurt. It was a simple plan: He’d go and kill the Council, Sentinel as well. What happened next wouldn’t matter. Shockwave could never kill Megatron, who cares if the Decepticons took over in the chaos?
The Autobots would have failed to do what they’d promised, to protect their own, to protect Bumblebee . Let their empire fall. What use was the future anyway?
Shockwave didn’t plan on how he’d get out with his life.
-
Longarm had taken pictures of Bumblebee as he’d grown. He hadn’t even been aware of why he’d done it, just an instinctual need to watch him, to remember him.
Shockwave wishes he’d taken more, that he’d known they’d be apart for so long. He wishes he’d recorded every second of his sparkling’s life so he could remember it perfectly. Every annoying habit Bumblebee had, every ex-vent and laugh, his sorrow and anger. The moments missing from Longarm’s collection a void he could no longer fill.
Stuck waiting he could only watch the time where his sparkling still lived, holding onto the hope that they could be reunited again.
That it hadn’t all been for nothing.