Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The monsters under your bed is a phrase not to take too literally. We tell our kids the monsters under their bed aren’t real and that it’s just an irrational fear of the dark and the feeling of imaginary creatures, but none of it is real. The monsters under Evan Buckley’s bed are real, but they don’t lurk under the bed. His monsters lurk in the house and pose as loving parents, when really they’re monsters. They are people who don’t understand how to love their children, and it’s just Evan. His older sister never found out about their wrath, and if Evan can help it, she never will. 

It’s a scary thing for someone to handle on their own. Evan’s sister only left three years ago, but when she left, it was the worst thing ever. His parents had some restraint when the two siblings were living under one roof, but once his sister left, Evan was all alone. He was alone before his sister left, but now it’s an unimaginable kind of loneliness. He’s accepted the fact that no one will help him, and he’s ok with that, but only because he has two years left. If he’s lucky, maybe his parents will kick him out or go too far, and Evan won’t have to be here anymore, and suffer through the pain he constantly feels every day. 

Just two more years, right? 

Evan is in his sophomore year of high school and continues to hide what goes on when he leaves the building every day at 3:30 pm. He enjoys school. He doesn’t have a subject he doesn’t like, and although some classes are better than others, he still enjoys every single one. His favorite class is currently Weights. He loves pushing himself beyond the limits, but he’s too scared to use his abnormal strength to beat the monsters, so he just enjoys the weight class. 

Coach Light loves his students in the Weights class. He loves to watch them go beyond their limits and learn what they can and can’t do. His most impressive student, though, is the one whom he has to double-check his appearance because of his quietness, and that is Evan Buckley. Once he knows the kid is in his class, he can spot him in the gym because he always wears the same thing every day to class, despite how hot he must get. He always wears tight long sleeves, shorts, and compression tights, and it’s noticeable and odd to the coach, because he always manages to cover every inch of his body like he’s hiding something. Hence why Coach Light has kept an eye on him and notices small things about the kid’s demeanor; like he never works with anyone, he doesn’t have a spotter, and when he misses school, he comes back the next day, and he’s even more closed off. It raises suspicion in the teacher, but until the kid confesses to anything or he finally notices an unexplained mark or two on his body, then he can do something, but until now, his hands are tied. 

Today, the class is working on arms, and Evan is in the back area working on bench presses. Coach Light comes over to check on him. “Hey Evan, how are you doing today?” 

Evan smiles slightly at his coach and sits up, giving the man his full attention, “Hi Coach. I’m good, about to do my workout.” 

“That’s good. How much are you benching today?” He’s always been curious about Evan’s strength and thinks he might have the potential to be in the military one day, if he ever wanted to. His friend did tell him to keep an eye out for potential military trainees. 

“Oh,” Evan glances at the weight he just put on and adds it up, “it’s about 290 pounds.” 

Coach’s eyes bulged out of his head and looked around to Evan’s peers and knew none of them had benched that much. “That’s impressive, Evan. Have you ever thought about the military after you graduate?” 

Evan is surprised and a little embarrassed by the praise. He rubs the back of his neck before answering, “Um, no, I’ve never thought about it. I’m not sure what I’m going to do when I graduate.” Evan answers honestly because his only goal ever has been to leave his parents' house and never look back. 

“Well, think about it and let me know. I’ve got a friend who’s a Navy recruiter for the training base just an hour away from here. I think you have what it takes.” Coach Light pats Evan on the back, and he notices the kid pull away like he was burned by the touch.

Coach Light was about to walk away and let Evan get to his workout when he stopped him, “Coach,” Evan calls out, thinking if he made it to graduation, it wouldn’t be the worst thing he could get into. “I thought about it and I thought it would be fun. I don’t have any other plans.” Evan shrugs, and the coach smiles at him. 

“Sure, I’ll get you a pamphlet after class today.” Coach Light heads back to the middle of the room to watch the kids get to work and continues to glance at Evan, watching him bench almost two times his weight. After class, the coach hands him the pamphlet and watches the kid book it out of the room, and while the room is quiet, he makes a phone call. 

“Hey Light, what you got for me?” 

Coach laughs at the introduction before explaining, “I have this kid that can bench almost 300 pounds, and when I talked to him about being in the Navy, he seemed generally excited, and I gave him a pamphlet after class today.” 

“Ok, why do I feel like there’s more to the story, though?” 

“That’s because there is…” Coach contemplates whether he’s going to tell his friend about Evan’s age or just leave it out for now. He goes for the latter, “he’s an interesting kid and mightbeabusedathome. ” Light rushes out on his speculation. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” 

“There is a possibility that he could be abused in his home, but I don’t have any way to prove it. He’s a quiet kid who benches almost two times his weight, and he wears clothes during class that cover his whole body. He would wear a hood if he wasn’t already sweating his ass off.” 

“And why are you telling me this?” 

“Because I don’t have anyone else to tell, and maybe if I found out what was going on in his home life, then being the youngest Navy SEAL ever wouldn’t be the worst way for him to go.” 

“How old is this kid? And don’t lie to me.”

Light scratches the back of his head, trying to get it out, “He may… possibly… be… only sixteen.” Light waits for his friend to yell at him. 

“SIXTEEN?! What do you mean he’s sixteen?” 

“I mean, he’s sixteen, but I still don’t know what to do about his home life. Am I just supposed to wait until a mark appears on his face or what?” 

Light hears his friend sigh deeply before, “I don’t know Light. I just know that he might need help, and maybe asking him and waiting for a reaction is the best way to find out how close you are.” 

“I can try, but I don’t want to ask him while he’s in class. I don’t want to expose him like that if I am right, but thanks. I assume you're going to inform the boss?” 

“I am, although I’m probably going to keep out the fact that he’s sixteen. Let me know what you find, ok?” 

“You got it.” Coach Light hangs up and thinks about the kid the rest of the day. 

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Evan takes a deep breath before entering his house, knowing he’s late. Evan walks to school everyday and it’s not even remotely close to his house, but his parents still expect him to be home at 4:15 everyday. Most of the time, he can make it, but not tonight. “I’m sorry I’m late. The—” Evan is abruptly stopped from explaining because of a brutal hit to the face. 

“Whatever excuses you were about to say does not make up for being late!” His father’s voice echoes in the house as Evan recovers from the hit. Once he’s recovered, his father slams him into the wall and his hands are in a death grip on Evan’s shirt. “Your mother has worked hard in the kitchen and you're not here in time to eat it? Evan, we have a very strict set of rules to follow and if you can’t be here for dinner then you can just not eat.” Another brutal hit to the face knocks Evan to the ground and before he can get up, he gets pummeled in the stomach and ribs multiple times by his father’s work boots still on. 

Evan understands he’s late and he knew he was going to get in trouble for that, but the hits are never ending most times, and tonight is no different. 

“You continue to disappoint your mother and you continue to disappoint me. I don’t want to see your face the rest of the night.” With that said, the kicks stop and Evan is dragged up the stairs by his hair and thrown into his bare bedroom. His parents never bothered decorating it or giving Evan anything for Christmas or birthdays so it just has a bed, a stained rug, and a desk for Evan to do his school work on, but that’s it. His closet is also pretty bare with just enough clothes to look like he’s not homeless (and so the teachers don’t suspect of course). “I will unlock the door in the morning before school.” With his father’s last words, Evan is left in his room alone for the rest of the night.

 In a sick sort of way, he likes being alone because at least he can work on school work and draw in an extra notebook he used for Algebra last year. He can dream about things that’ll never happen like parents who love him, game nights downstairs, trips to literally anything with ice cream involved, and way fewer pain associated with physical violence. He would also like to wear short sleeves and show off his muscles, but that also goes with showing his bruises both faded and fresh, but still easily spotted and noticeable if he wore clothes that wouldn’t hide everything. 

Evan’s last thoughts before he attempts to sleep tonight, is the possibility of being in the Navy. The pamphlet his teacher gave him in weights today sits in the bottom of his backpack, hidden in case his mother ever does another room check and squashes the dreams that barely ever got to be thought of. The Navy is supposedly one of the toughest branches of military Evan could ever join, well the SEALs are, but needless to say, any branch of military in Evan’s opinion would be better than living with his parents for one more day. 

The Next Day

Evan’s commute to school is a little rough with the amount of possible cracked and bruised ribs he accumulated and today, he’s wearing a hoodie to cover up the nasty bruise his father so kindly gave him last night. He’s unsure how he’s supposed to go through the day or even workout with the amount of pain he’s in. He thought about stopping by the nurse’s office for pain meds, but then there was an off chance she might notice his bruises and he quickly turned it down, deciding to suffer instead of ease his pain.

Evan’s second to last class of the day is weights and he’s excited it’s arms today, but he still takes it easy. He starts with the pull-up bar and goes for 25 before he drops and lands a little too hard causing him to take a break. At this moment, Coach Light comes over. “Hey, Evan are you doing ok today?” 

Evan tries to hide his face and he was doing a good job making sure he never picked up his head for any reason, but he has a feeling that’s not going to slide with the coach. “Yeah, I’m ok Coach. Just dropped down too hard from the pull-up bar.” Evan explains, still attempting to keep his head down enough to continue hiding the bruise the size of Texas on his face. 

Coach Light crosses his arms and gives Evan a look trying to analyze his reasoning for not looking up, but then he remembers his question from yesterday. “Am I just supposed to wait until a mark appears on his face?” This is the opportunity and it makes his heart hurt just thinking that the possibility became a reality faster than he was hoping. “Evan,” Light sits on the bench next to Evan. He looks around the group to check on the rest of the kids and notices they aren’t paying attention before addressing the boy cautiously, “why aren’t you looking at me?”

Evan mumbles under his breath and is praying the bell rings before he has to explain himself, “I don’t know.” His head drops further, wishing Coach would just let him be. 

“Evan, are you scared to show me something? It’s just you and me. No one else will see.” Evan is quiet for several beats and Coach Light takes another look around the gym, checking on the other kids before looking back at Evan. 

“Promise me you’ll leave me alone and let me get back to working out after you see it?” Evan questions and holds out his pinky finger toward Coach. 

Light sighs and looks toward the finger and then back at Evan, “I can’t promise that Evan. My job as your teacher is to make sure my students are safe. So whatever is bothering you, it’s ok to tell me.” 

Evan is on the verge of tears as he contemplates his options. If he tells his coach where he got the bruise and the truth behind it, then maybe he can be safe from ever feeling this kind of pain again, but if for some reason the truth doesn’t set him free from his parents death grip, then when his parents get questioned by local authorities and find nothing, Evan will be dead the following day and he knows it. “Am I safe?” Evan asks, his voice small and broken, but he has to know for sure. 

The question Evan asks breaks Light’s heart even more, but he reassures him. “Of course you are, Evan. Whatever happened and whoever did it, they can’t hurt you anymore.” Light hopefully gives Evan the reassurance he needs before the boy next to him slowly lifts his head. He’s too afraid to say the words yet, but the proof is enough. “Oh Evan.” Light has to pause because the bruise is way bigger than he was expecting, “When the bell rings in a few minutes, I want you to go to my office and we’ll talk about it there. Don’t worry about your last class of the day.” 

Evan’s head drops again now that the secret is out before Evan had even said the words, knowing Coach Light probably suspected it a long time ago. “Ok,” he whispers softly and brokenly, before attempting to get back up. 

Coach Light grabs his wrist gently, stopping Evan from going any further. “How about you go ahead to my office and take a few minutes to yourself?” Coach Light suggests before Evan nods and picks up his water bottle, heading to the coach’s office and ignoring the weird looks from his classmates. 

A few minutes later, the bell rings and the kids start to venture out. Once the room is empty again and Light doesn’t have another class today, he makes some phone calls. First to the principal's office informing her of the situation so she can call the help Evan will need. His last call is to his friend from yesterday. 

“That was quick, just calling about your day or about the kid?” 

“The kid.” 

“What did you find, Ben?”

“It’s true. His face has a pretty nasty bruise and he’s tried to hide it all day, but after contemplating his decision to tell someone, he lifted up his head and showed me what happened. He hasn’t said the words yet, but he’s in my office now and the principal is heading down too. I just thought you should know.” Ben bridges his nose, trying to process everything. 

“And you're 100% sure the kid is being abused?” 

“Of course I am. It makes me wonder why he couldn’t tell me sooner though.” Ben looks toward the window to his office and the kid with his head buried in his hands. “He’s in so much pain and I can’t wrap my head around why someone would do that to a child. I would never hurt my daughter.” 

“Just remind yourself that he came to you and that he's going to get the help he needs.” Light’s friend reassures him and he notices the principal walking into his classroom. 

“I gotta go, the principal just walked in. Thanks for the encouragement.” Ben hangs up the phone and addresses his boss. “Hi, Principal Summers.” 

She’s looking around the room, “Where is he?” 

“He’s in my office, but he doesn’t know you're here yet or anyone else you called is here, so let me inform him before you barge in there with questions.” Light puts out a hand to stop Summers. 

“Fine, but make it quick. We need to get to the bottom of this before the end of the day.” Principal Summers crosses her arms and gestures for the coach to explain to Evan. 

Evan still has his head in his hands and continues to stifle his tears when the door opens and Coach Light walks in. “Hey Evan, Principal Summers is here to talk to you, but I thought it would be easier for you to talk to me first.” 

Evan looks toward the door and sees the principal standing with her arms crossed, “She looks mad, but I know what happens next. I don’t want to go into the foster system. I’m a teenager about to age out of it anyway. I-I-I-I can’t. Just let me go, ok? I’ll tell you whatever you want, but I don’t want to go into the foster system please?” Evan begs, tears streaming down his face, knowing it would be a waste of time anyway.

Coach Light is at a loss for words at the boy broken and scared in his office. He waves the principal into the room and explains the situation. “Evan will explain whatever you need him to, but he doesn’t want to be in the foster system. Is that even possible?” 

Summers looks at Evan and then at the coach, “Maybe, but unfortunately I’m not the one to make that decision.” She kneels down to Evan and gently places a hand on his knee. “I understand your concerns, but you will need a place to stay. Do you have any other family nearby?” Evan shakes his head and Summers continues. “OK, I don’t know of another option.” Evan looks down solemnly before jerking back up and searching frantically for his backpack. 

“Where’s my backpack?” He looks to coach. 

“It’s in the other room, but what do you need it for?” 

“The Navy. They provide bedding and food and Coach said it’s only an hour away from LA. I was already going to join, and at least you’ll know I’m ok because of your friend.” 

Summers and Light look at each other and back at Evan before Light speaks up, “But you have to be seventeen to enlist, and that’s with parents permission.” 

“Or a guardian.” Evan adds, “I’m almost Seventeen as well, I can bluff and tell them I am Seventeen, and your friend can vouch for me. Please it can work, it’s better than—” Evan cuts himself off dropping his head again. 

“Evan, if this is something you want to do, we can talk to the case worker coming in, but you need to tell us.” 

Evan starts by finishing his sentence, “It’s better than anything my parents could dish out. My father does the physical stuff and it’s almost daily. I can’t do anything to please them and I never wanted to please them, but I wanted the pain to stop,” Evan starts crying again but continues, “so I obeyed the rules, I kept my grades up. I did everything, but it was never enough. I was never enough and my mother, she would always find ways to put me down or blame my father’s behavior on them wanting the son they never had.” The confused faces of the adults in the room causes Evan to elaborate. “I had an older brother, but he got sick and I was supposed to save him. I didn’t and my parents blamed me for it, but at the time they wouldn’t physically hurt me unless I was home alone with them, because my older sister still lived at the house. She protected me without even knowing it, but she moved away three years ago. It’s been like this ever since.” Evan finishes his explanation bursting into tears. Both the principal and the coach pull Evan into a hug before they both leave him to explain to the case worker that just showed up. 

They’re still talking when the bell rings dismissing the students from school and as they all run to the buses or their parents picking them up, Evan doesn’t leave the school. He doesn’t even leave the room and he wonders when his parents will call the school and wonder where he’s at. They’ll act like concerned parents until behind closed doors, and then Evan’s body is never not covered in bruises. If Evan left the school now, he still wouldn’t make it home in time for his curfew and he would surely get another brutal beating, but that’s not happening right now. 

He wonders what happens next. 

Is he going to be in the back of someone’s car while his parents get arrested for abusing their kid? Will his sister be informed of their parents' trial and wonder how they ended up behind bars? Will they even tell her? She is over the age of Eighteen and supposedly in a good relationship with her fiance, or is he her husband now? Evan wonders if whoever drives him to his house will even let him exit the car until his parents are out of sight. Will they go in and get Evan’s stuff? Not that he has much stuff to get. In all honesty there isn’t an item of importance to him that he would even want out of that house, and stepping in the house without a smack to the face, would be the first in a long time if he even entered. 

Maybe he’ll just stay in the car and wonder what the rest of his life will be now that he doesn’t have anyone. He wonders if the military is really his best bet, but what other option is there?

Chapter Text

Four days later, Evan is being escorted inside the Naval Military Base in Coronado, California. Ben Light and his best friend and reserved military man, Lewis Heartwood, introduced Evan to his instructor and the man in charge. 

Lewis spoke up first as Evan was watching the other trainees run through an obstacle course. “Commander McGarrett, Senior Officer Harper, this is Evan Buckley. He’s the new recruit. Just got the paperwork filled out.” Lewis explains to the other two, and they glance at Evan. 

Senior Officer Harper speaks up first, “It’s nice to meet you, Buckley, and once you're shown around by Heartwood, then you can join in.” Harper gestures to the other recruits, and Evan nods shyly. 

Commander McGarrett eyes the kid before speaking up, “How old are you, kid?” 

Evan looks between Ben and Lewis before answering him, “I’m seventeen.” Evan’s answer causes McGarrett to eye Lewis before focusing his attention back on Evan. 

“Glad to meet you, Evan.” Commander McGarrett holds his hand out for Evan to shake. Once he does, McGarrett continues, “I trust Heartwood to show you around and get you settled before you join your other fellow recruits for the rest of their training day. Your official day starts tomorrow.” McGarrett turns his attention to Lewis, “Until he turns 18, I want him to be in the private room across the hall from the others.” McGarrett nods his head toward a building across the way from the obstacle course. “Make sure he feels welcome.” The commander walks off, and Evan follows his eyes before walking with Lewis and Ben to Evan’s private room. 

“Do I really have to be in a room by myself until I’m eighteen?” Evan’s question causes Lewis and Ben to exchange looks before Ben is quick to reassure. 

“It’s only a precaution, Evan. It shouldn’t last too long.” Ben pats his back gently before they enter Evan’s private room, and he sets the rest of Evan’s stuff down. 

After the events at the school, Evan’s parents were immediately arrested and put up a fight, cussing out the officers and Evan, cowering in the back of his case worker's car. The next day, Evan got new clothes and was enlisted in the military, but spent most of his time with Ben and his daughter Lily. He stayed the night with them because Ben had a spare room, and this morning they left early for the road trip to Coronado. 

Once Evan’s stuff was put up nicely and his bed was made, he asked a question he wasn’t ready for. “When do I have to be there for court?” He looks up to Ben and Lewis as they contemplate what to say to him. He knows he has to go, well, he doesn’t have to go. Between the evidence the officers found at the house, Evan’s explanation at the school, and images taken of his bruised body, it is enough to put his father away for a very long time, but ‘a long time’ isn’t long enough. If Evan can help it, he wants them to have life in prison, but talking to the courts about his miserable life would add some years to his mother’s sentence and hopefully keep his father in prison for the rest of his life. 

“You don’t have to go, Evan.” Evan gives Lewis a look, and he adds, “But I understand you need to go. So your case worker, Miss Patch, will pick you up from the base in three weeks, and if we have time, we’ll be there too.” Lewis reassures before leading Evan and Ben out of the room and points to a giant building down the way. “That is the dining hall. It’s where everyone goes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and they do different things every week, but it’s pretty good. Across from the dining hall and down the way a little bit is the Infirmary.” Lewis continues to explain where everything important is before heading back to the obstacle course. “And finally, that little square building right there is Commander McGarrett’s office, but make sure you knock before entering. He gets a little stingy about that.” Lewis glances at Ben and addresses him, “Alright Ben, you gotta say bye now before I drop him off with the instructor, and I’ll keep you updated on him.” 

Ben addresses the kid before leaving, “Evan, I’m sorry about everything that’s happening all too quick for you, but I hope joining the military helps you and I can’t wait to watch you kick these other recruits asses.” Lewis slaps Ben’s shoulder, and he laughs, “Anyway, good luck.” He holds out his hand to give Evan a high five, but he doesn’t take it. 

Evan doesn’t know what comes over him just now, but he throws himself into Ben, thanking him for everything, “Thank you so much, Coach Light.” It doesn’t last long cause Evan hasn’t hugged anyone since he begged his sister to stay. “No, Maddie, please don’t leave me.” Evan grips onto his sister’s shirt, and she laughs, thinking he’s just going to miss his sister. “Please, I need you.” 

“Oh, Evan, you're going to be fine. I love you.” Maddie ruffles her brother’s curls, and their Mom comes forward for her hug and pulls Evan out of his death grip on his sister. His father comes up next to Evan, putting a painful hand digging into his shoulder to keep him in place. Evan watches his sister leave in her jeep and wishes he could join her… 

“Evan!?” Lewis pulls Evan out of his thoughts after the third time of calling his name, “You’ll be ok. Now come on.” Lewis leads Evan back to the instructor and lets him off on his first day of training, silently wishing him the best. 

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Later in the day and while Lewis is doing his security checks, he gets approached by Commander McGarrett. “Commander, what can I do for you?” 

“I’ve been thinking about the kid you brought in today, and I seem to remember a phone call about a kid in highschool who could bench 300 pounds and you told me about him, but you never told me his name.” Steve points in a direction seemingly in the direction toward the kid in question, “It was the kid you brought in today isn’t it?” 

“Yes sir it is. The man I brought with me is his coach and he wanted to make sure he got in ok.” Lewis explains warily. 

“He seems to be doing well already. Harper is impressed with his physical strength, but we both ran into a question none of us could answer. I was hoping you could answer.” 

“I could try,” Lewis gives the commander his full attention now, trying to figure out where this is going. 

“We both noticed that he’s wearing long sleeves and I feel like you only wear long sleeves if A, it’s cold which it’s not, or B, he’s covering up something. Now I went for the latter because I noticed his bruising on his face and it’s at least a few days old so I was wondering if you knew what happened?” McGarrett crosses his arms and Lewis stutters at his explanation.

Lewis rubs the back of his neck, “I-I can’t answer that.” 

“And why not?” 

“Because it’s not my story to tell. If you want to know, ask the kid yourself. Anything else commander?” Lewis turns his back to the commander and takes a drink of water while the commander asks his last question. 

“Ok, just one more. How old is he really? And don’t lie to me.” 

Lewis chokes on the water he was drinking and stutters over his words before deciding it’s better not to lie to his boss, “He’s Sixteen, sir.” 

McGarrett takes a deep breath and bridges his nose to keep himself calm, “I want to talk to him after dinner tonight. Escort him to my office once he’s finished eating.” the commander walks away and Lewis lets out a big sigh.

Towards the end of dinner, Lewis makes his way to the dining hall to scope out Evan. It was easier than he thought, because the kid is sitting alone at a round table in the corner. He takes a seat across from Evan and the kid finally looks up, “Sitting alone I see.” 

“I always sit alone. I didn’t have friends in school and it’s my first day here,” Evan gestures to his bruise on his face. “Plus this is on my face and I don’t really want to explain how I got it other than the ‘oh, I fell down the stairs.’ Seems like a reasonable excuse right?” 

“A little less sarcasm and it might work. How was the first day? Well, part of the day. You got to skip warmups.” 

“It was ok. The instructor had me show my strength on what I can only assume is a smaller version of the warmups we’ll do tomorrow.” Evan looks around at the groups of people sitting together and laughing, “I don't think they believe I’m Seventeen though. I’ve had my first real growth spurt last year, but with everything I’ve been through, it doesn’t really show.” Evan glances at his body and then back up at his food. “Am I allowed to eat all of this?” 

Evan’s question visibly stuns Lewis, “O-of course you're allowed to finish your food. You can even get seconds if you want. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Lewis reassures him and watches as Evan digs back into his food. “You know eating three meals a day will help with growing and looking older. Did you not get three meals a day?” 

Evan gives him an incredulous look and realizes it’s not normal for Evan to get as little as he got. A shake to his head and a mumbled response is all Lewis gets, “I only had breakfast and lunch because of school and even then I would forget about breakfast.” 

“And dinner?” 

“Rare occurrence.” Evan’s vague explanation causes Lewis’s heart to sting with overwhelming pain. He’s just happy Ben was able to pull Evan away from his home life before it was too late. “Why are you here anyway?” 

“Well, Commander McGarrett wants to talk to you after you're done eating, but don’t rush. Finish what you’re doing.” Lewis explains, but then is quickly reassuring so Evan doesn’t feel like he has to rush. 

“What does he want to talk about?” 

“If I’ve learned anything from working under Commander Steve McGarrett is that nothing gets past him for very long. Although that same logic didn’t apply before he started dating his now husband.” Lewis laughs at the stories he’s heard about Steve and Danny’s obliviousness before they figured out they both felt the same. He shakes his head fondly and gets back to the topic, “He figured out some things about you and would like to discuss them with you in private.” 

Evan starts to panic at the implication of it all, “He’s going to kick me out? On my first day? Lewis, I don’t have anywhere else to go, I can’t get kicked out or washed out. I—” Evan is cut off in his spiraling by Lewis’s reassurance once again. 

“Evan, Evan, slow down. No one is kicking you out and you're not going to wash out, you are too talented for that.” 

Evan visibly relaxes and continues to finish his dinner. “Ok, if you're sure.” He doesn’t sound confident, but Lewis takes it and waits with him to finish his dinner. He’s never made it through a full meal with his parents. He either never gets to finish it because it ends up on the floor during his father’s outbursts or he doesn’t even get to eat it because he’s sent up to his room without anything to eat for the rest of the night. 

This time he finishes his dinner and he’s more upset knowing it’s the first time it’s happened in ages. It must show because Lewis asks him, “You ok kid? You seem a little lost.” 

“I guess I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that that was the first time in a while I’ve finished my entire dinner. I didn’t have to worry about my father flipping my dinner on the floor and either making me eat it or dirtying up clothes by beating me into the hardwood floor with the discarded Spaghetti and Meatballs.” A few stray tears run down Evan’s face at his explanation and the memories that follow. “Or I wouldn’t even make it to the dinner table most nights. My parents acted like they didn’t even have a kid after my sister left. I don’t exist to them!! I am nothing to them!! Absolutely nothing.” Evan’s sudden outburst causes the floodgates to be released and Lewis to hold the boy in the middle of the base as he breaks down. 

He comforts him, but is at a loss of words and multiple emotions running through his head. The heartwrenching realization of everything Evan’s truly been through hits hard, although to him it’s probably just another awful day. On the complete other side of the spectrum, he feels an overwhelming anger and hatred to the people Evan has to call his parents and he just wishes there was something he or anyone could do to pull Evan out of the trenches and show him what real love looks like. “Evan, I don’t know what to say to comfort you, but what I do know, is that they can never hurt you again. Everything you have been through is being erased because they are getting what they deserve, and you are getting what you deserve. I will gladly explain to you what that is if you're ever lost, but for now. You need to go to talk to the commander and I can wait for you if you want me to, but I’m pretty sure he’s not going to kick you out.” Lewis reassures him with a comforting smile before Evan peels himself off and knocks on the door. 

“Come in!!” A deep voice calls from inside and Evan opens up the door slowly. 

“Commander McGarrett?” Evan asks into the empty building as he steps through the threshold. 

Steve McGarrett steps out of his office and opens the door for Evan to walk in, “Come in Evan. I just wanted to discuss some things with you.” 

Evan takes a seat on a chair in front of the desk and the commander takes the seat behind the desk. “Sure sir. What did you want to talk about?” 

Steve leans forward in his seat, “I want to know why you and Heartwood lied about your age.” 

“Because there wasn’t a better option, sir.” 

“Away from the sirs for now. My name is Steve, Evan. Do you want to be here?” 

Evan thinks about the question for all of two seconds before, “Yes, I do. I just thought this was better than foster care.” 

“Foster care?” Steve glances at Evan’s bruise and starts to put the pieces together. He gets up and leans on the desk in front of Evan. “Were you going to foster care because of the bruise on your face?” 

Evan looks down so Steve can’t see it anymore and explains quietly, “Yes, my parents abused me for most of my life and up until about four days ago, no one knew.” 

On the inside, Steve is full of anger and sympathy for the kid in front of him. The one that thought the military was better than anything else he’d ever been through. On the outside, his expression is neutral, but it's cracking the more he finds out, “The bruise on your face is not the only one, is it?” a shake of the boy’s head causes another crack in the foundation of Steve’s stoic expression. “That’s why you are wearing long sleeves.” Steve mumbles mostly to himself, but Evan hears all the same. 

Evan shoots his head up, asking the same question he asked Lewis, “Are you going to kick me out? Because, please don’t. I don’t have anywhere else to go and I won’t make it to Eighteen out there. I just won’t.” 

Steve drops his neutral and closed off actions to give Evan an open and trusting feeling, “No, I’m not going to kick you out. I’m glad you chose to be here and I wish I was told from the get go that you were Sixteen, but I am not mad about it.” He sets a comforting hand on Evan’s shoulder who shrug it off. “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before I touched you, but I will never harm you and if anyone harms you or gives you anything else but a helping hand, then I will deal with them. Evan, I want you to feel safe here so whatever I can do to make you feel safe, I’ll do it. Just say the word.” 

Evan figures it's worth a try, “Do I really have to sleep alone?” 

Steve smiles softly at the boy, “Afraid so, but it’s temporary and once you turn Eighteen then you’ll be able to bunk and shower with all the other stinky recruits.” A small smile cracks on Evan’s face and Steve takes the win. “You only have two years.” 

“One and a half, but how long is training?” Evan corrects and asks a question. 

“Navy basic training is three months, but if you were to be a SEAL, which is what I’m actually in charge of, and that is six months. Just freshly being Seventeen you will graduate from BUD/S training if that was something you wanted to do, but I could guarantee you a spot on my team depending on what skill you pick up during SEAL training.” Steve explains, but he’s already decided to take the kid in even if it’s only to keep an eye on him. 

“I looked into it and I would like to try, but I don’t think I have what it takes to be a SEAL.” 

Evan’s self-hatred really makes Steve want to find his parents and knock them down a few notches on their high fucking horses, if they think it’s ok to make a kid feel this bad. “Evan, don’t ever believe you can’t do anything. The SEALs have a phrase they live by and it’s ‘The only easy day was yesterday’ and in other terms we strive to constantly be better. To prove ourselves over and over again, because living a basic life isn’t a SEAL life. It’s a boring one, and I think you have what it takes to be a SEAL; I already know how strong you are. Now you need to know how strong you are. You don’t have to decide right away, but I expect an answer when you graduate from basic training, because you will graduate.” 

Evan smiles, just glad someone is on his side for once in his life, “Thanks Steve. I really needed that, but I should probably get some sleep, got a big day tomorrow.” Evan leaves Steve’s office with a pep in his step and holds his words close to his heart, knowing they are going to shape the way he trains and proves himself to all of these other recruits. He’s going to go above and beyond no matter how hard it’ll be, because he is strong and it’s time he shows it. 

Chapter Text

Three Weeks Later

Steve kept a close eye on the kid for the first few weeks, worried that the other recruits would treat him differently because he was a minor, but they did, just not the way Steve thought. “You’re watching the recruits more than normal, sir. That wouldn’t be because of Buckley, would it?” Senior Officer Harper comments as the Commander walks up to watch the end of the obstacle course. 

“Part of the reason, but he is a minor, and I feel like I need to keep a closer eye on him than the others.” Steve and Harper are supervising from the finish line of the obstacle course, where the last part is sets of tires lined up for the candidates to jump in and out of. Most of the trainees have made it through, but the sight in front of him has never before seen on an obstacle course before. It’s safe to say, all trainees are always competitive, but it gets a little crazy when the obstacle courses come out. That’s not what Steve is seeing, though. “What is going on?” Steve sees all the finished recruits cheering Evan on as he tackles the last obstacle course. 

“The trainees have taken a liking to the kid. He struggles a little bit with the obstacle courses because of his form, but he pushes through, and in return, they put their competitiveness aside to push Buckley to the finish line.” Harper sounds impressed in his explanation, and it’s a sight Steve has never seen before. 

“Come on, Buckley!!! Just a few more!!!” The encouraging screams can be heard from miles away as they all cheer on their youngest member. “Come on, push yourself!! You're stronger than all of us combined!!” The encouragement continues, and it’s a sight for sore eyes. 

Evan Buckley is almost to the finish line as the rest of his trainees encourage him, when his foot trips up on the last tire, causing him to buck over it, and face plant onto the dirt road just before the finish line. “Shit,” Steve mumbles under his breath as he watches the trainees try to help him. He doesn’t run over until he watches Evan push their helping hands away and cower in fear. “Fuck, Evan!!” Steve yells, running toward the group, “Back off, back off!” Steve yells to the group, and they do before he slides down in front of Evan. “Hey, Evan, look at me. It’s Steve, ok? No one is trying to hurt you.” Steve keeps his voice low as he tries to encourage Evan. “You just hit your face on the obstacle course, you're ok.”

 Evan lifts his face and sees the blood, but then detects his nose hurting, and the people around him aren’t his parents. “What happened?” 

“You bucked over the last tire before the finish line, you're ok, Evan. Just come with me and I’ll take you to get cleaned up.” Steve holds out his hand for Evan to take, and the boy holds his nose with one hand before hesitantly taking Steve’s hand. “Come on.” He eyes the trainees and then glances at the instructor, “I’m going to take him to get cleaned up.” Steve leads Evan to the infirmary and continues to tell him to keep his head up when he asks, “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Not my first nosebleed.” Evan’s head remains up with gauze pinching at his nose. “You can go back to working or whatever, I know my way back.” Evan tries to dismiss Steve, but it doesn’t work.

“I’m not leaving you, plus I have a feeling that maybe your trip up wasn't just a trip up. Was something distracting you?” 

Evan can admit to himself that with his court tomorrow, he’s been a little distracted, but he didn’t think it was enough to trip over the last tire, and now he’s made a fool of himself in front of everyone. “It’s not because of the others. They always do that, and I like it when they do that, but it’s not their fault.” 

“I didn’t ask whose fault it was. I asked if something was distracting you.” Steve leans forward in the other chair, “Don’t lie to me, Evan.” 

Evan takes a deep breath. “I have court tomorrow,” he barely speaks up enough for Steve to hear. 

“You have court? Court for what?” 

“It’s my parents' trial. My lawyer convinced me to be there and give my testimony on my shitty life to hopefully give them a longer sentence. At first, I didn’t want to see their faces again, but I would do anything to keep them in prison. So what’s one more time?” Evan smiles half-heartedly as a tear falls down his cheek.

“I can go with you, if you want. I wouldn’t want you to be alone.” 

“I’m not going to be alone, Lewis is coming, and my case worker will be there, so you don’t have to.” Evan glances down at Steve to read into his sympathy, but the only thing he finds is an expression he still can’t read. Over the past few weeks, he’s noticed Steve keeps a close eye on him more than the others. It’s a little overwhelming sometimes, but he supposes any kind of affection would feel overwhelming when your parents didn’t give you any. 

“I’m not offering because I have to, I’m offering because I want to, Evan. I want you to have somebody else you know on your side, more than just two people.” Steve watches the boy closely for a minute, contemplating his next words, “I’m also not offering. I’m going with you. You deserve someone on your side.” Steve gives Evan the reassurance he needs before they head back out of the infirmary. 

“Thanks, Steve, but you’ll have to ride alone. I have to ride with my caseworker.” 

Steve smiles at Evan fondly, “Of course. I’m sure Lewis and I can ride together.” Steve watches Evan walk back to the group, and they clap for his safe return in all jokes, and the smile on Evan’s face is worth it all. He seems to already be getting along with his fellow trainees, and they enjoy his company all the same, making sure that just because he’s younger than all the others, he never feels left out. They take care of him and make sure he passes his tests with the others. He became their little brother, and you would do anything for your little brother. 

---------------------------------

When Evan gets there, he is immediately escorted with Miss. Patch and his lawyer to a private room before the trial. “Hi, Evan, how are you doing today?” 

“I’m ok. I just want this over with.” 

“Very well then. We haven’t properly met yet, but I’m going to be representing you and asking some questions while you're on the stand. My name is Stacy Winters, but you can call me Stacy. I’ve been talking with Miss. Patch about your case and your testimony, and whatever else you can give the courts is crucial to extending your parent’s sentence.” Stacy pauses and looks at Miss. Patch so she can give Evan the rest of the information they discussed. 

Miss. Patch is sitting next to Evan when she turns to face him, explaining further. “You already know we have images of your bedroom and your body to show the courts, but if you could describe your injuries and the reason for them, that would help the case. We were also wondering if you could talk about your permanent injury you got.” Miss. Patch glances down at Evan’s right forearm where he has a long and deep scar from an injury he still refuses to talk about. 

Evan looks at it too and rubs his finger through it, “I wore short sleeves like you told me, but you didn’t tell me I would have to talk about it.” 

Miss. Patch is quick to reassure him, “Evan, you don’t have to talk about it, but it would help immensely. Just remember everyone in there is on your side. Even the jury. They want you to get justice for your parents and the more they know about your homelife, the longer their sentence is going to be.” 

Evan continues to lock eyes on his scar as he listens to Miss. Patch’s words. He finally looks at Stacy, “I’ll talk about it, but you have to promise me they can’t hurt me anymore. I’m already scared enough to see them again.” Stacy glances at Miss Patch when Evan finishes speaking, and is quick to reassure the boy once again. 

“Your parents will never hurt you again and they won’t come close either. They both have their own police officer at their side at all times during court, and that’s for your protection. I promise you, Evan, they won’t hurt you again.” Stacy kneels down by Evan and puts a hand on his knee in reassurance. “Court starts when you're ready.” She gets back up and leaves the room. 

“Just take a deep breath Evan, you’ve got this.” Miss. Patch comforts him before walking with Evan out of the private room and into the courtroom. He spots Steve and Lewis in the crowd and goes to sit with them when Miss. Patch pulls him away, “Remember what I said Evan? We have to sit in the front with Miss. Winters.” Evan just nods giving a small smile to Steve and Lewis before sitting down between Clara Patch and Stacy Winters. 

The court starts when his parents are escorted in and the Judge takes his seat. “Alright, today is the adjudication hearing of Evan Buckley and the possible termination of parental rights to Margaret and Phillip Buckley. Will the defendants please stand up?” The judge instructs and Evan’s parents stand up, “You two are charged for child abuse, child neglect, and child endangerment of one Evan Buckley. If proven guilty, your parental rights will be terminated and Philip Buckley, you will be facing up to eight years- to life in prison while Margaret Buckley will be facing 4-6 years in prison.” The judge looks over to Evan and Miss Winters before addressing them, “The defendants may sit down and will Miss Winters please stand up?” She stands up, “Miss Winters, you are representing Evan Buckley correct?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“Do you have additional evidence to present before we get started?” 

“No ma’am.” 

“Ok, now Miss Winters, you may call up your first witness to the stand.” After that, the trial began and after several witnesses between friends of the Buckley parents who thought they could do no harm, a couple of Evan’s teachers that noticed the odd behaviors, neighbors of the Buckley residence that heard odd noises, and Evan’s principal explaining the day Evan told his coach everything. It was finally Evan’s turn to speak about his parents' constant and brutal abuse. 

“My final witness I call to the stand is Evan Buckley.” Evan stands up and does his oath, exactly as he’s watched his teachers and several other people do it before him. He finally takes the seat in the stand and takes a few deep breaths before focusing solely on either Stacy, Steve, or Lewis; making sure to not give his parents an ounce of attention,  “My first piece of evidence I’m going to bring back, is images of Evan Buckley’s body taken two days after his parents' arrest.” Stacy pulls the photos back on the screen and it now has spots circled, that Evan is no doubt going to have to explain. “You may have noticed I circled some important spots on Evan’s body; what I have noticed is that three of the four pictures I circled, have some kind of hand print on Evan’s body.” Stacy turns her attention to Evan, “Evan, would you please explain in as best detail as you can, image one on the screen for us?” Stacy shows the jury and the judge image one, before waiting for Evan to start. 

This is the first image he has to explain, “It’s an image of my father’s hand prints on my neck.” He looks to Steve and notices his death grip on the bench, but doesn’t focus too hard on it. 

“How long ago was the handprint on your neck?” 

“That one was from two weeks ago. I was late again and soaked from the rain, but the only thing they cared about, was that I was getting water everywhere. He slammed me against the wall by the front door and would squeeze just enough so I wouldn’t pass out from the lack of oxygen, and then yell at me before repeating the process.” 

“How often did it happen?” 

“Well, that wasn’t the first time, but he would repeat the process at least three times before resulting in his normal beating.” 

“And to the rest of us, what is a normal beating?” Stacy gestures with her hands to the jury. 

Evan looks down at his ribs and remembers all the times he was kicked repeatedly and the pain that followed every time, “He would throw me on the floor and while I was down, he would kick my ribs repeatedly. I don’t know how long it lasted, every time was different.” Evan takes a deep breath and Stacy takes it as her opportunity to move on. 

“Thank you Evan. My next question is about images two and three. Both are from the wrists, and both are smaller than your father’s hands. Are they your mothers?” Evan nods, but Stacy gives him a look and he knows he has to verbally say it. 

“Yes, those are my mother’s. She only put her hands on me a few times, but her words were taunting enough. If I didn’t get the physical, I got the mental and 99% of the time, I got both. Mom would pull me by my wrists to my father whenever I made a mistake she didn’t like, and it was typically me not doing my chores correctly.” 

“Did she ever hit you?” 

“Not exactly, she slapped me in the face a couple of times, but that was it.” 

“I see, and you said ‘her words were taunting’ care to describe?” 

Evan takes a deep breath and makes the mistake of glancing at his mother who is giving him the death glare, before looking back at Steve’s soft eyes and tight grip still on the bench. “It was just words that made you feel like you had nothing worth living for. They always blamed me for everything. For my sister leaving for college and my brother dying. If it wasn’t blaming, it was ‘you're worthless, you don’t matter, we wished you were dead’. It’s endless.” Tears stream down Evan’s cheeks and the questions are paused to allow him to regain control. He looks to Steve and sees him mouth ‘breathe Evan,’ multiple times to remind him, his parents will never hurt him again. “I’m ok, you can continue.” 

Stacy nods slowly and looks back toward the tv screen showing the image of Evan’s body. “Alright, my last question about the injuries is from image four. It’s the only permanent scar we saw on Evan’s body, and it’s on his right forearm.” She looks at Clara sitting at the edge of her seat, before asking Evan one of his toughest questions. “Evan, would you please explain to the jury how you got that scar?” 

Evan takes a deep breath and rubs the scar absentmindedly before pulling out a memory he would have rather kept buried, “Yes, um, one of the rules in the house was that my grades had to be almost perfect. It only got bad if my grades were below a C average, but I struggled a lot in math even though I liked learning. It was my toughest subject, and one day got a D on my math test. I had to bring the paper home and show my parents, but I didn’t want to.” 

Evan pauses to wipe the tears trying to escape before continuing, “They must’ve been expecting it because when I got home, my mom immediately asked to search my backpack. Something she’s only done a few times. I tried to keep it hidden, but she found it and dragged me to my father in the kitchen. She was hurting my wrist with how she was gripping it, and she had the test in her other hand.” 

The immense amount of silence and patience throughout Evan’s explanation is uncanny. His parents send death glares, but he refuses to look at them. He chokes a little bit trying to get the last part out, “When my father saw the test results, he decided a beating wasn’t good enough.” 

“What did he do instead?” Stacy asks Evan gently in her utmost, calm voice. 

“They banded together and my mom had one hand on my wrist while the other was on my elbow, and held it over the sink. While my father took a kitchen knife and started cutting into my arm.” “AHHHHH, stop. Stop, please. I’m sorry!” Evan begged his dad to stop. The first time he’s ever begged for the pain to stop, but his parents' disappointment leaked out almost as much as his arm started to bleed out. 

“How could we have such a dumbass son?! You know your sister is going to be a nurse and you can’t even pass a damn math test!” His father digs the knife further into Evan’s arm causing him to scream out again. The memories cause more tears to steam down his face and the judge, listening intently, passes him a tissue box. “It was the first time I begged for them to stop, but they didn’t care. They just kept comparing me to my sister and how she’s a nurse. There is nothing I could’ve done that day or the next or the next that would please them!” He takes a breather and finishes the awful story, “I eventually couldn’t hold myself up anymore, between the pain and all the blood, that I collapsed on the floor and they were still mad because I got blood everywhere. But I wouldn’t have had the blood all over the kitchen floor if they didn’t cut into me. They didn’t even care that I might’ve bled out. My mother moved me to the back area of the house that was mainly used for storage and the laundry, threw me a few rags to stop the bleeding, and left me in there to figure it out myself.” Evan’s smile is deprecating, but the skill will be used in the future,  “I learned how to do a tourniquet that day, and I didn’t go to school for two days after that.” He directs his attention to his parents in pure anger, “You did this. You couldn’t handle the fact that I couldn’t save your son so you risked the life of another for what?! To be satisfied that I died too?! Well I didn’t! I get to live and you get to rot in a cell for the rest of your pathetic life!” Evan abruptly gets up and runs out of the courtroom before his parents could even come back with a rebuttal.

Steve chases Evan out of the courtroom before he hears the judge call for a recess, “We will stand at recess for five minutes.” 

Steve starts walking down the hall looking for any signs of Evan, when he rounds a corner and finds the kid crying into his hands in a deserted hallway, away from the courtroom. “Evan,” Steve calls out gently and the kid barely lifts to look who called his name before protecting his face once again. Steve walks over to him cautiously, “Can I?” He gestures to a hug, keeping his arms open to invite the kid in and without much hesitation, Evan throws himself into Steve and continues to cry. 

Steve was stunned to even get the opportunity to hold him in his arms, but he’s not passing it up now. He continues to silently comfort the kid as he rubs circles into his back. “I’m right here Evan,” and gives him constant reassurances, mumbled between the two of them before Steve sees Lewis round the corner. After being stunned at the sight in front of him for all of two seconds, he joins in on the hug.

They move the hug to the bench before Lewis speaks up, “Evan, I think you have superpowers cause I’ve never seen Steve so in touch with his emotions before, but ever since he met you. It’s been all over the place.” Lewis jokes to lighten the mood and a small smile cracks on Evan’s face, but Steve and Lewis knew it wasn’t real. “You're almost done right? Your lawyer or whatever doesn’t have to ask you any more questions?” 

Evan finally pulls away from their embrace and addresses Lewis’s question, “I have a couple more about my room, but I think I’m done after that. The judge still has to decide their sentences and parental rights though.” Evan explains and takes a few more deep breaths before attempting to get up. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Back to the courtroom. I have to finish—” Evan is cut off in his explanation when Miss Clara Patch finally finds him. 

“There you are. I was worried about you, are you ok?” Clara comes up to Evan and holds him at shoulder length looking at Steve, Lewis, and then back at Evan. 

“I’m fine Miss. Patch, Steve and Lewis were just checking up on me, but I’m ready to finish this.” Evan reassures Miss Patch, and looks back at Steve and Lewis giving them a silent ‘thanks,’ before following her back to the courtroom. 

Stacy looks like she wants to say something before she doesn’t and leads everyone back in the courtroom. Evan takes his place back on the stand and the judge leans over to ask him a question, “Are you ready to finish this, Evan?” 

“Yeah, I am.” Evan takes another deep breath, and the judge makes sure everyone is back in before the questions start again. 

“Alright Evan, just a few more questions and then you’ll be done.” Stacy pauses to make sure that’s ok before she continues, “The images I’m about to show are of Evan’s bedroom on the left and his older sister’s bedroom on the right.” The images pop up on the screen and the jury share similar, shocking faces, “Now, if I didn’t tell you that the room on the right is Evan’s would you believe me?” She’s addressing the jury before asking questions to Evan.

“No,” they all collectively answer and someone says it looks like a ‘guest room’. “You’re right, it does look like a guest room. The stark contrast I noticed, was the lack of anything on the walls that would tell you this is a teenage boy's room. Now if you were to walk into my son’s bedroom, you would tell me it looks like a pig sty and that’s because it does. Clothes strung everywhere, video games discarded on the floor, and don’t even get me started on what’s underneath the bed, but it’s well lived in. When I first got these pictures I was like you were, because I couldn’t believe a teenage boy lived there, but it’s true.” Stacy turns her attention to Evan now, “Evan, you can answer the following questions yes or no if you want. My first question is, did your parents ever buy you anything for birthdays or Christmas?” 

“No,” 

“Did they buy your sister things for Christmas or her birthday?” 

“Yes.” 

“Very well, when I opened his closet,” she switches the frames to Evan’s closet and his sister’s closet. “I found and, you guessed it, nothing much. Evan’s closet had maybe twenty items of clothing, and I can’t tell you how many clothes his sister has. Did she take any clothes with her when she left?” Evan is about to answer, but she stops him, “You don’t have to answer, because her closet was full. Meaning she took clothes with her, and still had that many clothes. Along with shoes and a plethora of other items.” She addresses Evan again, “Evan, would you please explain your room to me?” 

“The desk was used for schoolwork of any kind, and the clothes were only bought so the school wouldn’t get suspicious. The stained rug was an old rug found in the storage and the stain is—” Evan pauses trying to rack his brain from the day that stain appeared, “I think it’s a blood stain.” 

“A blood stain. You see that people? A boy who deserves more than a stained rug, a beat up old desk, and a bed made for guests, but his parents never saw it that way. His so-called parents gave Evan scraps while his sister got riches, and lived the life a child should live, instead of the one he was pulled out of.” She addresses softly to Evan, “You can get down now.” Stacy continues throwing shit to Evan’s parents after she watches him take a seat next to his caseworker, “If you’ve learned anything from this trial, it is this right here.” She points to Evan as she talks to the jury giving her final statements, “That boy deserves a life far away from his parents and only you, can give that to him and may I remind you, this is my son’s room compared to Evan’s.” She pulls up Evan’s bedroom again as a whole and throws her son’s bedroom to the right of it. “I would rather my son have a bedroom full of stink, than ever watch him suffer the way Evan has. I would clean up his dirty socks, check underneath his bed, listen to him stay up all night playing video games, then for him to ever feel the pain that Evan feels.” She looks to the judge at her final words, “His parents don’t deserve to be his parents, but he deserves to be loved. Thank you.” Stacy takes her seat on Evan’s other side and the judge speaks up. 

“You know in all my years of hearing final statements and reviewing cases,” The judge looks at the jury and they all have similar looks of understanding in their eyes. “This truly takes the cake. I don’t have kids myself, but anyone in this room that does, understands even a semblance of the pain Evan probably felt on a daily basis.” The judge glances at Evan before continuing on, “I want to be able to sleep at night knowing you are safe and your parents can never hurt you again.” 

Without anything else being said, The judge looks to Margaret and Phillip Buckley. “Will the defendants please stand up as I give them their sentences?” The parents refuse to stand up, so the police pull them to their feet. “I was pretty sure this was going to be an open-shut case and I was right, because Phillip and Margaret Buckley your parental rights have been terminated, and there will be a restraining order in place if you ever come near Evan again, after your sentence is over. Phillip Buckley, you will be serving a felony charge for severe child abuse and child neglect to one Evan Buckley and you will be escorted immediately to state prison for a sentence of Twelve years without parole. Do you understand your sentence?” 

He doesn’t speak and instead tries to send glares at Evan, but he can’t see him. “You little shit!! You can’t even look at me anymore!!” Phillip tries to move toward Evan and the police officer keeps him in place. “I understand.” His words are full of hatred and spite toward Evan. 

“Very well then, Margaret Buckley, you will be serving a felony charge as well for severe child endangerment and child neglect to one Evan Buckley, and you will be escorted immediately to state prison for a sentence of six years. Do you understand your sentence?” 

She looks at Phillip and spits out, “This is all your fault Phillip!!” She blames her husband for her actions, but she turns back, “I understand.” and with that, Evan’s parents are escorted out of the courtroom and to a holding cell until the prison van can pick them up. 

Evan, Steve, Lewis, and Miss. Patch, all walk out to the front of the building and Lewis spots an ice cream parlor across the street, “Evan, do you want to go get some ice cream? I think it’s well deserved.” He looks to Evan and holds out his hand. 

Evan looks across the street and then back to Miss. Patch and Steve, “Can I?” A simple nod from both of them and he follows Lewis across the street to the ice cream parlor. “I’m not five, I don’t need a hand to cross the street.” Evan explains as they find out what flavors they're going to get. 

Meanwhile, Steve and Clara watch the boys across the street. “I see you’ve taken a liking to him, Mr. McGarrett.” 

“Please, just Steve and I guess. I’m just happy this is over.” Steve continues watching the two across the street sit down on an outside patio. 

Clara was watching Steve and his eyes now, catching something she only sees in a parent, “You know in my eight years of being a caseworker, I can just tell when someone is wanting to be a parent. You see parents have a special look in their eyes when they see their kids, but in foster care, I see potential parents look at other people’s kids like it was made for them to be parents with that kid. That is how you look at Evan.” 

Steve finally peels his eyes away to look at the caseworker, “But Evan isn’t my kid.” 

“That doesn’t stop you from wanting to be his parent though. You know it’s possible. It’s challenging given his age and the trauma he’s been through, but I think you can do it.” 

Steve shakes his head not believing her words, “Even in my profession?” 

“Believe it or not, Steve, we do not judge harshly on the career of the parent. We do judge harshly though, on if it’s a good fit for the kid. Normally, we would not put a kid with your type of profession, but because Evan already chose your profession, the problem now is if you're willing to be his parent, are you also willing to put away that parenthood in the battlefield?” 

“I do it with my husband, we’re both in the same profession and often work together, but I’m not saying I was thinking about adopting Evan. Hypothetically.” Steve adds and barely misses Clara’s hold of a laugh. 

“Well, hypothetically, taking in a child like Evan comes with challenges for you and your husband. Just because this part is over and his parents have no hold over him anymore, that doesn’t fix everything.” 

“Hypothetically, what would we be facing?” 

Clara puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder making sure he understands the grasp of the situation and she looks toward Evan before explaining, “The childhood trauma Evan has been through, should never have happened in the first place, but you already knew that. What would be challenging, is him believing that all the love your giving him is real. Because you could shower that boy in so much love he wouldn’t know what to do with it, but he would have to believe it, before it would really sink in. So listen to that special moment in a parent's life and let it guide you to making such a Jurassic decision as adopting a child as meticulous as Evan.” She pats his shoulder and Steve catches on to something she said. 

“Special moment? What does that mean?” 

Clara smiles softly before explaining, “Another thing I’ve noticed in some potential parents that maybe aren’t sure about adopting. It’s a moment they have with the kid that pushes away every doubt and fear in their eyes, and replaces it with a love that consumes them. It connects the kid and the parent together without even realizing it, and they decide to adopt, because they would rather handle those fears head on, than let the kid live another day full of doubt.” 

Steve thinks back on early today in that hallway, “I think I’ve had that moment already.” 

“No, you haven’t because if you did, we wouldn’t be playing the hypothetical game.” She smirks at Steve, “You’ll know when it hits you though. It’s overwhelming, but it’s usually just the push they need to take that next step.” 

Steve and Clara glance at Evan and Lewis, and notice Evan is laughing at something Lewis said. Ice cream all over his face even from across the street, they can feel his happiness radiating. Clara looks back at Steve and sees his face, and it causes her to smile. “What?” Steve asks, feeling her stare at him before turning back. 

“You’ll see it eventually. Just remember that with his parents terminated rights and them in prison now, there is nothing that would make it too difficult for you and your husband to adopt him.” She pats him on the back as the two come rushing back over. “Just keep that in mind.” She addresses Evan as soon as he’s back over. “How was the ice cream?” 

“Delicious. Who knew something soo cold could taste soo good.” Evan is still finishing his double chocolate chip ice cream when he explains brightly. 

“Well, that sounds awesome, it sounded like Steve and I should’ve gone with you.” She smiles at Steve and he’s just watching Evan’s chocolatey disaster on his face. “Well, I’m glad you had your first ice cream, but I gotta get going. I’m happy for you Evan, truly.” She pats Evan’s back and starts to walk away. 

Evan stops her by grabbing her wrist gently, “Thank you Miss. Patch, for everything.” 

“Of course Evan.” She smiles fondly and hopes to see them again, hopefully as a family.

Chapter Text

When everyone returns to base, Lewis decides to head home for the night, leaving Steve and Evan alone as they head to their respective spots. “I’m proud of you, Evan. I can only imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.” Steve says some final words before departing with Evan to work on paperwork. “I need to fill out some paperwork explaining briefly why you were gone during training day. I can also give you another day if you need some time?” 

“No, I’m fine. I’m just going to get some sleep for tomorrow.” Evan tries to leave for the bunk room when Steve stops him. 

“Maybe you should take the extra day. Today was hard for you, and I’m sure it brought up some bad memories with the way you—” 

“The way I what? Ran out of the courtroom? Yelled at my parents? Cried more than I have cried since the whole thing started? Which moment are you talking about, Steve? I’m fine, so just drop it.” 

“Evan, you're not fine. You can’t just shove it down and expect it to go away. You need to process it.” 

Evan whips around to look at Steve, “I have been processing it!!! What do you think I’ve been doing?! Sixteen years is a lot to process, Steve, and it’s not just going to go away because I take a day off. I came here to have a distraction, to get away from it all, to focus on literally anything else. So don’t tell me to take a day off because you're not doing it as my superior, you're doing it because I hugged you, because I invited you to court? No, that’s not fair.” Evan pauses and takes a deep breath, “Just let me process it how I want to process it, and if I need a day off or a break, then I’ll tell you, but until then, stay out of it; you’re not my father.” Evan storms off to his private room in the bunk room building, and once the door is shut and he’s alone, he slides down the door, pulling his knees to his chest, and letting it all out. 

Steve is at a loss for words when Evan snapped at him, and he didn’t go commander mode. He just let Evan express his emotions, and it resulted in him not confiding in the child that is getting closer and closer to Steve’s heart. He decides to get on with his night and starts to file paperwork for Evan’s unexpected day off when he gets a call from his loving husband. 

“Hey, should I be expecting you home tonight?” 

“No, I’m sorry. I gotta fill out this paperwork and get caught up on today’s work since I’ve been gone.” 

“Yeah, you forgot to tell me you were leaving today. Where did you go anyway?” 

Steve props up the phone on his coffee mug and gets working on his paperwork as he explains, “You know that kid I told you about?” Danny nods and Steve continues, “Well, he was being abused in his home, and today he had court for his parents' proceedings, and he had to give his testimony. I went with him, although I’m starting to feel like it wasn’t a good idea.” 

Danny smiles on the other side of the phone, “You really like this kid, don’t you?” 

Steve smiles too, “Yeah, I do, but listening to him explain his bruises and the reason why. I mean, the reason he has a scar on his arm is because of a bad grade.” Steve scoffs and continues his paperwork. “I just got all worked up for a kid I barely know, and then I made the mistake of trying to tell him to take the day off.” 

“And let me guess, he didn’t like that very well.” 

“No, he didn’t. He yelled at me, telling me it’s not my place and explaining that what he needs is a distraction, which is what Navy Basic Training is doing for him right now. I just thought that this case being over and him being free from his parents would fix some things, but I was wrong.” 

“What? Steve McGarrett tells me he’s wrong? I can’t believe this. I need to get this on record.” Danny starts to laugh, “Oh, this is too good. I need to meet this kid.” 

Danny is still laughing when Steve rolls his eyes, “You are not helping, and I’m hanging up–” Steve tries to hang up, but Danny stops him. 

“No, don’t hang up.” Danny sighs, “Listen, Steve, honey, I’m going to repeat this probably not for the last time, but you need to hear it, and that is, you can’t fix everything, and the kid doesn’t need you to fix everything. It sounds like he just needs you to be there for him; something he’s not used to experiencing. You have to remember that, Steve, you have to see that the kid doesn’t know what a caring person looks like, and you showing him all of this is probably extremely overwhelming for him. I know how loving your heart is, and I know that under all of that hard exterior, there is a loving person underneath, and you are just overwhelming him. Give him the space he needs, and then when he’s ready, he’ll reach out again.” 

Steve sighs and throws his head back, reliving similar conversations to exactly what Danny is talking about. The first conversation had been Clara’s, only several hours ago,  “ Because you could shower that boy in so much love he wouldn’t know what to do with it, but he would have to believe it before it would really sink in.” The last one was, of course, the conversation he just had with Evan not even an hour ago, “ Just let me process it how I want to process it, and if I need a day off or a break then I’ll tell you, but until then, stay out of it.” Steve concludes that, just like always, his husband is right, and the only reason Evan even had an outburst was because Steve pushed him. 

“You’re right. He only had that outburst toward me because I wouldn’t leave him alone and just let him process it, but it’s hard, Danny. I listened to everything he talked about, I watched him yell at his parents for all the hurt they caused him, I chased after him when he ran out of the courtroom crying, and the judge had to call a recess. Then I was the first to find him once recess was called, and he broke down in my arms, and all I wanted to do was keep him safe and away from all of his troubles, but then I remembered he trains here.” Steve stops to take a few deep breaths. 

During Steve’s rant, Danny realized as he watched his husband stress over a kid he barely knows, “You don’t just care for this kid, do you?” Steve eyes Danny before waiting for him to continue, “You love him, Steve. You love him the same way I love Grace, and that’s a scary feeling, isn’t it? To see your child put in danger. I haven’t experienced that with Grace, but she is a tiny toddler. Listen, I will support however you deal with this, but don’t go making irrational decisions. Really think about it, because having a kid will change your life.” Danny takes his own deep breath, trying to process possibly having another kid with the man he loves, and he’s yet to even meet him. “I’ll let you get back to your work, but I’m bringing lunch tomorrow, and maybe you can tell me more about him then.” 

“Yeah, I will. I love you, Danny. Thank you.” Steve picks up the phone, about to end it. 

“I love you, too. Try and get some sleep.” Danny hangs up the phone and thinks about what he essentially just agreed on. A chance for them to be the love the kid didn’t get, but what will they have to face to be everything he needs them to be? 

------------------------------------

Evan didn’t hardly get any sleep last night and he’s not awake, when he approaches his team of trainees standing in a circle to start warmups. One of them notices him and they start clapping his back and cheering him on as he joins back. “There he is! Glad to see your joining in on warmups today, Buck.” 

Evan rolls his eyes, but the nickname catches his attention as they work on their stretches, “Buck? Did you just call me Buck?” Evan asks incredulously. 

“Yeah, he did. We came up with it after you ‘bucked’ over the tire the other day. Everyone needs a nickname and that’s yours. Unless you would like for us to refer to you as ‘kid’?” One of the other recruits speaks up, Evan thinks his name is Cole maybe or Caleb? He’s pretty sure it starts with a C though. 

Evan shakes his head stifling a laugh at the ridiculous nickname and when the instructor announces that they're starting off with a run, Evan is ready to kick ass. “Oh, you guys are about to eat my dust.” Evan snickers while he’s waiting for Harper to sound them off. 

“Oh, Buck is talking smack now. You're really turning into a true Navy trainee. Let’s get this going Harper, I want Buck to eat my dust.” Cody? Snarks back. 

Steve comes out just in time to watch Evan roll his eyes at him watching and to hear the new nickname used, “Come on, Buck pick up the pace! You can’t smack talk and then not beat him.” One of the recruits behind Evan calls out encouraging him to beat somebody in front. 

“Yeah Buck, don’t let me kick your ass!” The one in front of Evan turns around to run backwards and taunts him. 

Evan isn’t having it and picks up the pace at an alarming speed, and it’s the two up front, neck and neck before Evan barely crosses the finish line before the other recruit. Evan bobs his head back and forth taunting the other guy, “Ha! Take that!” Evan throws his hands up in triumph and everyone congratulates him. 

Steve is about to join in the celebration, when someone pulls him back. “Hey—” He pauses when he sees Danny holding a bag of takeout, and giving Steve his signature look. 

“Come on, Steve. Leave the kid alone.” Danny wraps his other arm around Steve’s shoulder pulling him away from the celebration and how fast Evan was pushing himself. “The other recruits seem to enjoy having a little brother with them.” Danny comments as they enter the dining hall and sit in the back corner, away from the crowd when they walk in. “He’s doing ok and whatever he’s going through, the running is helping. I know you saw his happy face beating one of the fastest runners.” 

Steve sighs and digs into his Thai food before adding on, “I know he does. It’s just that before the fight last night, he would’ve smiled at me watching him, but instead he rolled his eyes, and wished I wasn’t present.” 

“Steve,” Danny reaches across the table to grab his husband’s hand, “You need to give him space. I know you care about him, but if he just wants to be left alone without you watching, then that’s ok. Teenagers need to breathe and have space to themselves, and right now it probably feels like you're suffocating him.” 

“I don’t want to push him away further, so I’ll give him the space for today, but it can’t be healthy for him.” 

“Honey, I know you feel like you have to be there for him and protect him from all of the harm in the world, but that’s not your problem. Even if you decide to adopt him; that’s still not going to be your problem, because that’s not what parents are. Parents are there for their kids when they need them, especially at his age. He’s old enough to communicate that to you or someone else.” 

Danny’s words hit hard to Steve and he doesn’t fully understand why he needs to wrap a bubble around Evan Buckley and keep him from harm's way, but he does. And if he doesn’t back up and give the kid his space, he’s going to lose him before he even gets to call Evan his son. Steve and Danny enjoy their lunch and before the recruits come in, they leave and Steve continues to keep his promise to Danny. He keeps the distance between him and Evan for the day, finding other tasks around the base to work on that might’ve needed his attention a long time ago. He realized he wasn’t able to give it the proper attention because Steve focused on the new kid, instead of his job. 

He continues to play back moments from yesterday and specifically what Miss Patch said about putting Evan on a back burner to focus on his job. In other terms, is he willing to put his parenthood aside to continue with his profession? He did it with his relationship with Danny, but Danny was right. Parenthood is a whole nother ball game Steve hasn’t taken fully into consideration, and it worries him that even though he might want to adopt Evan in the near future or at all, is it what the kid needs or is it just because Steve wants to keep him safe? Because if it’s the latter, Steve should just let it be, because Evan doesn’t need an overbearing parent to make things more stressful in the field. He needs love, care, and a parent who won’t overreact.

Steve has got a lot to think about. 

--------------------------

Later that night after a long grueling day of training, Evan is exhausted, and that could be because he didn’t get any sleep last night or…. No, who is he kidding, it’s definitely because of the lack of sleep. Last night, Evan got hardly any sleep and he knows it’s because he couldn’t stop crying or thinking about the events yesterday brought him. 

He didn’t realize reliving all of the greatest traumas in front of a whole bunch of strangers would do that to you, but it did and he pushed people away because he thought it would be better to cry in your room alone, then letting someone comfort you. To be honest, it kind of was though. The hugging and the encouragement from yesterday was a lot to take in all at once, plus reliving his trauma with his parents present didn’t help either. Training day did help though, it gave him the distraction he needed, but now he’s exhausted, so after dinner he went straight to his room and took an early bedtime for the sake of his sanity. 

They talk about 3 am being the ‘bad’ part of the night. A part where the supernatural can haunt you in your sleep and for some people it’s filled with anxiety and fear, but in reality it’s just a time of night or morning where your body is in complete relaxation mode. Evan is not in relaxation, his body is fighting back the demons that hide in his brain and come out, in the form of nightmares, and his father. Evan is on the hardwood floor back at home, unwilling to move. When he finds out why, it’s because his father is sitting on him and beating him further into the ground. Like if he beat him hard enough, the hardwood floor would break and Evan would fall through. “Let go of me!!! Get off!!” Evan fights relentlessly against his father’s beatings but it’s not enough and he’s stuck. “Get off of me!!” Evan’s screams, echo to reality and the trainees across the hall start to arose at the horrifying noise. 

“Is that the kid?” One of the trainees asked another. He’s the first one up and out of their room, but he hesitates at the door. “Aren’t you going to open it? What if he’s hurt?” Another one asks. 

The screams don’t indicate the kid is hurt, it indicates he’s deep in a nightmare he can’t escape from, “Someone else should help him. He’s having a nightmare and maybe the commander could help.” He looks to one of the trainees, “Make sure no one enters his room, I’ll be right back.” He runs out of the building and searches frantically for the commander. “Commander McGarrett!!” He calls, but no one is around. Then another call and he sees him in the distance, but is far enough not to hear, “Commander!?” 

Steve is walking outside talking to Danny, “So I ended up actually getting a lot done and—” Steve pauses in his recollection of today, when he sees someone running to him. 

“What is it, Steve?” Danny picks up on his husband’s demeanor and he follows Steve’s line of sight to notice someone running to him. 

“Commander?!” the person running calls again and finally makes it to the duo.

“Sanders? Why are you yelling for me in the middle of the night?” Steve looks at Danny and then back at Sanders. He even checks behind him, but doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary. 

“It’s the kid.” Sanders takes a few deep breaths from the running and continues, “We woke up to him having a nightmare, but we didn’t want to freak him out so I decided to come get you, but he needs help. He’s screaming for someone to get off him, but no one is in the—” Sanders is cut off in his explanation when Steve looks at Danny, nods, and then sprints toward the building with Sanders following behind. 

“So no one is in there right now?” Steve asks before he enters the building. 

“No sir. I made sure no one went in before I left to come get you.” 

“Ok, great. Before training in…” Steve pauses checking his watch, “Three hours, I want you to inform the instructor that Evan is going to be about three hours late.” Steve finally walks into the building and instructs the lingering trainees to go back to bed, “Everyone, back to bed. I will handle it. Thank you for your concern, but you need to go back to bed.” Steve waits for everyone to return to their bunk room before he cautiously approaches Evan’s room.

“Is he going to be ok?” Sanders asks before he’s the last one to enter the room. 

Steve looks between Evan’s room and Sanders, “Yeah, he will be.” Steve waits for Sanders to enter the room and shut the door, before he enters Evan’s room. He walks in slowly and immediately hears the muffled screams from earlier, amplified when the door was opened up. 

“Noo!!! Get off me!! Get away from me!!!” Evan’s screams are constant, and his thrashing is dangerous as he tries to fight back someone who isn’t there. 

Steve approaches cautiously and comes up with a gameplan to wake Evan up. He stands at the edge of the bed calling to him, “Evan, it’s not real. You need to wake up. You’re safe.” Steve repeats the reassurances, but Evan’s fight doesn’t steady. Steve sighs and decides to take more extreme measures, and his first idea is to stop Evan from thrashing before he hurts himself. He grabs at the boys wrists and stands over him as he repeats his words, “Evan, it’s Steve. Whatever your seeing, it isn’t real. You need to wake up!” Evan tries headbutting Steve when he notices his hands are restrained and screams out in Steve’s face. 

“Let me go!!” 

“Evan!! Your ok, no one is trying to hurt you. Your safe. Your dad is in prison. Wake Up!!!” He doesn’t know what it was and maybe it was the realization that the father he was having a nightmare of, can’t be real, if the one in reality is currently behind bars, but Evan jerks awake and pulls himself against the headboard, pulling his knees to his chest and burying himself. 

His short breaths and sweaty form, causes Steve to sit down on the far end of the bed until Evan tells him to leave or lets Steve comfort him. “Evan, your ok. It wasn’t real.” Evan pulls his head away to look at Steve, and sighs deeply at seeing the man in front of him. “I know your mad at me, but I’m only here because one of the other recruits came to get me. I can leave if you want but—”

Steve is cut off when Evan yells, “No!” at him and jumps forward to grab the man’s wrist. “No, please don’t leave. I’m sorry about last night and today. You don’t deserve that, your just trying to help me and I—” Evan is on the brink of more tears and he might sound desperate, but he doesn’t want to be alone right now. 

“No, stop with the apologizing. I’m here when you need me, and I shouldn’t have pushed.” Steve scoots closer to Evan on the bed and sits against the headboard right next to him. “Did you have one these last night?” 

“I would’ve had to be asleep for that to happen,” Evan whispers and drops his head on Steve’s shoulder. “Can you just—” He pauses in his wording, not sure where the boundary between commander and friend was crossed. “Only if you want to, but can you stay here until I fall back asleep?” 

Steve noticed Evan’s hesitation and can only assume it has something to do with their growing relationship, but he brushes it off for now. “Of course I can, Evan.” Steve opens his arm to wrap around Evan’s shoulders as the boy snuggles into Steve’s side. He has to blink back tears as the kid tries to get comfortable, pressed against Steve. 

“Thank you and I’m sorry,” Evan mumbles as his arm wraps around Steve’s stomach and his head rests on Steve’s chest. 

Evan’s unruly curls are dangerously close to Steve’s face as his arm now wraps around Evan’s back. Once the boy is settled and his breathing starts to even out; Steve rubs circles on his back like he did when Evan ran out of the courtroom and whispers him soft reassurances into his curls. “Your ok, Evan. I’m always going to be here, even when you don’t want me to.” 

Steve leans his head back about to try and get his own sleep when a sickening realization of his own words and actions, hits him like a freight train. The first one was when, ‘ he’s already decided to take the kid in even if it’s only to keep an eye on him’. It was when they were first talking about being a SEAL and Steve told himself, the kid would be apart of the team no matter what. That should’ve been his first clue, but then after that it snowballed, and the more interactions they had, the worst it got. The court was something he could really get into, but the day before is another moment, “I’m also not offering. I’m going with you. You deserve someone on your side.” On his side, Steve would be whether the kid needed it or not. There are a million different scenarios that come to mind, since the kid arrived on his base only a few weeks ago, but it’s enough for him to realize he’s going to adopt this kid. 

Because moments like this would only happen if he had a close relationship with him already. The only reason this exists is because Steve opened up his arms to the boy, and he took the comfort when needed. He falls asleep, happy the kid is ok and hopefully knows Steve is going to be there through all of the nightmares from now on. 

-------------------------------------

The next morning, Evan wakes up to find out he’s not alone. He would be scared, but then he remembers Steve had stayed until he was asleep, but Steve was supposed to leave after Evan went to sleep. He didn’t. “You’re still here,” Evan mumbles into Steve’s chest. 

Steve smiles, noticing the boy is awake now. “Yeah, I am. You were comfortable and slept through the rest of the night, so I didn’t bother waking you up.” 

“I’m sorry I made you stay here because I couldn’t—” 

“No, don’t do that. Don’t dismiss yourself. You needed the comfort and I had nowhere to be this morning. It’s ok, and I had one of the trainees inform the instructor that you would be a few hours late, so don’t worry about rushing off.” 

Evan sits up and checks the alarm clock on his nightstand. It reads 8 am, meaning he was supposed to be up for training two hours ago. He starts to get out of bed when he runs back Steve’s words, “You told them I would be late? Not giving me the whole day off?” Evan asks incredulously knowing that just the other day, Steve wanted him to take an entire day off. 

“Before you ask why, it’s because you told me the training was a distraction from all of the shit in your life, so who am I to take that away from you? I figured a late start would be better than no start at all. Now,” Steve gets out of bed and leans against the door, “get dressed, get some breakfast in you, maybe stay away from the milk because it’s hot today, and get to training.” 

Evan smiles and starts to strip his clothes to get into his PT uniform, and he’s almost completely dressed when he remembers Steve is still in the room. “Oh, I’m sorry. I probably should’ve changed in the bathroom.” Evan has his shorts on but is working on getting his shirt fixed and notes that Steve is staring. “I thought you saw the bruises, luckily their fading so I’m more comfortable wearing short sleeves.” 

Evan turns around to get more privacy while Steve continues to stare. The stares come with a gasp when Steve spots Evan’s back which was not shown during court and the scars that follow, “Your back wasn’t shown in the court pictures. Is the scars because of it?” Steve asks almost stuttering over his words like maybe he shouldn’t have brought up the conversation to begin with. 

Evan is quick to throw on his shirt and turn back to face Steve, as he’s quick to put on his shoes, “Yeah, I asked them not to. I can talk about one scar, but not the others.” Evan walks to the door and gestures for Steve to move, and begs him internally not to push. 

“Ok, see you later then.” Steve opens the door and Evan gives him a weird look before walking out of the building and most likely to the dining hall before joining his trainees. After a few minutes, Steve rushes out of the room and heads toward the infirmary to tell Danny of what he found. “Danny, you will never believe what happened last night—” Steve is cut off when he spots that Danny is not alone.

Danny looks to the front door when his husband bursts in, but then looks to the guy who was training with him. “How about you go get some waters from the dining hall and study up on your medical book, and we’ll get back to it later.” Danny instructs the guy and he leaves giving a weird look to Steve. “Ok, come all the way inside and sit down.” Danny sits in one of the plastic chairs and gestures for Steve to sit next to him. “What’s going on that you had to rush in here like a madman?” 

Steve plops into the seat in front of his husband and throws his hands in his hair, “We need to adopt Evan. I’ve come to the decision that I want to adopt him and I can’t wait any longer. Tell me your on board?” Steve looks pleadingly at Danny. 

“How about you explain your reasoning, because yesterday you were giving him space and contemplating even the opportunity of being his adoptive parent, and now your solidified? I need more context, Steve.” Danny leans forward and gives Steve is undivided attention, despite the things he’s needs to get through today. 

“OK,” Steve pauses trying to collect his thoughts, “Last night when we were talking and we got interrupted by Sanders running up to us, well that was Evan, but you already knew that. What you didn’t know, is that he was having this horrible nightmare about his dad and the other trainees had heard him. They came to me and I stayed the rest of the night waking him up and then comforting him back to sleep.” 

“Ok, but how does this lead to you being 100% into adoption? Because you were on the fence about it for a while.” 

“Your right I was, but then as he snuggled into me and found a comfort in me and after he was asleep, I remembered something his case worker told me, She said ‘ It’s a moment they have with the kid that pushes away every doubt and fear in their eyes and replaces it with a love that consumes them.’ She said it would connect us together and I think we were. I think when Evan realized I didn’t leave after he went to sleep, we had a better understanding of each other.” Steve reaches for Danny’s hand and he takes it smiling, “I can’t go another day worrying that something like that is going to happen again, and he’s not going to believe someone is going to reach out. I have to push away the parenthood in the battlefield, but I’m willing to work through it, with you of course, and add another member to our family?” Steve asks, smiling sheepishly at Danny who rolls his eyes fondly. 

“I’m on board.” 

“Really?” 

“Really. I know how happy you get just talking about him and I knew it was only a matter of time before I would be signing adoption papers with you, but before this can happen. I have some requirements…” 

“Uh oh. What kind of requirements?” 

“You remember to treat him like any of your team members, you tell the team about your relationship with him, but it stays between us and…” Danny pauses in anticipation before kissing Steve’s hand and giving in, “He has to want it and we have to ask him. Together. I also don’t want my first time meeting him when we’re asking him to be our son.” 

Steve laughs softly and leans forward to kiss his loving and supportive husband, “Deal and I love you so much.” 

“I love you too. Now how about we meet him for lunch. I’ll bring some food from outside the base and bring it over. What does he like?” 

“I don’t know, but he eats everything in the dining hall so I don’t think he’ll complain when you bring food.” Steve comments and realizes he doesn’t know little details about Evan, like his favorite color, favorite food, favorite exercise, and maybe how he’s enjoying being here, and experiencing things he didn’t get a chance to with how shitty his life was. Steve understands he’ll struggle with separating personal from professional when it comes to Evan, but he’s willing to figure it out, if it means he gets to call Evan his son. 

He’s more than ecstatic for the journey ahead, but he knows it’s going to be a tough one. Evan will say yes, right?

Chapter Text

Steve and Danny hatch a plan for Evan to meet Danny before they ask him to adopt. The first step starts when they eat lunch together at an outside table, and some of the questions Steve wondered about Evan get answered. “Evan, I don’t think you’ve met Danny yet, but he is in charge of the infirmary and he’s my husband.” 

Evan’s face is confused when he hears Steve has a husband, “You have a husband, not a wife?” His question shocked Steve and Danny, but Evan quickly apologized, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound rude or anything. I didn’t know guys could do that, that’s all.” 

“Yeah, you can love anyone you want, and if anyone tells you different, then that’s on them,” Danny adds, smiling softly at Steve. “Are you liking the training so far? It’s not too challenging for you?” 

“No, it’s pretty good actually. The obstacle courses are a little challenging, but I’m doing well on the other stuff, and everyone is super nice. Are they usually like that, or is it because I’m young?” Evan asks Danny while taking a big bite of his Chinese food, “This is really good, by the way. I’ve never had Chinese, but I really like this. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, and not usually. They are normally really competitive, and they are, but they seem to care a lot about you.” Danny smiles, watching Evan enjoying something as simple as Teriyaki Chicken and rice. Although to him it’s not normal or even simple. It’s something he’s never experienced before, and even ten minutes into a lunch date with him and his husband, Danny is also ready to call this kid his. 

“Yeah, everyone seems to care a lot about me, but I don’t know how I feel about it.” Evan looks down at his food, almost feeling ashamed that so many people care about him. 

Steve chimes in this time, “I’m not going to apologize for caring about you, but I am sorry for pushing you. I forget it can be overwhelming.” 

Evan smiles sheepishly at Steve and dives back into his food before mentioning his new nickname to them, “Oh, I gained a nickname with the other trainees.” 

“Buck right? I heard them yelling for you to speed up the other day when you challenged them to a race.” Steve recalls taking another bite of his Cashew Chicken. 

“Yeah, I got it when I ‘bucked’ over the tire and got a bloody nose. I didn’t even know that was a word before I asked one of the guys, Why Buck?” 

“It’s a good nickname, and it’ll probably carry on to SEAL training if that’s something you get into,” Danny comments, looking between Buck and Steve. 

“Danny, do you think I should try and be a SEAL? I know Steve wants me to, but I’m still unsure.” Evan thinks it’s worth a shot to ask Danny for his opinion. He brought him a new food group to try. 

Danny looks at Steve and contemplates his answer, “I think it’s worth a try, plus I heard from Steve, you’re already guaranteed a spot on his team. No harm in trying, right?” 

“I guess so.” Evan takes another bite as he figures out his options. He’s not sure he wants to venture away from Steve despite pushing him away yesterday. It’s weird, but Evan likes having him around, even if it’s only for comfort, and he’s almost positive Danny is a part of Steve’s team in some aspect. “Are you and Steve on the same team?” 

Danny wants to chuckle, “Yeah, we run it together, and I’m also one of the medics.” 

“It’s us and five other amazing people who would love to meet you when you graduate from SEAL training, if you go down that path,” Steve adds on, pushing again when Danny nudges his shoulder, giving him a look, reminding him that he’s pushing. 

Evan finishes his lunch and checks the time, “I should probably go back to training, but thank you for the lunch, Danny, it was nice to meet you.” Evan gives a small smile to Danny before getting up to take his container to the trash. 

“I can get those, you go along and get back to training.” Danny stops Evan before he can pick up any of the trash, and the kid looks questionable, another thing he’s not used to, before he cautiously backs away like he’s expecting a ‘just kidding’ slap or something. He watches the kid walk away before turning back to Steve and glaring at him, “I know you want him to join our team, but you need to back off and let him figure out what he wants to do.” 

Steve sighs and watches Evan’s retreating form, “I know, I just, if he doesn’t join our team, then I’m going to worry about him more and wonder if he gets into trouble, if anyone is going to be there to help him. It scares me, Danny.” 

Danny sits back down after collecting the trash and wraps an arm around his husband, pulling him in. “I know it does, and what we’re planning on asking him is scary too, but we can’t go through life without doing scary things. It’s just not possible, honey. You care about him, right?” A slow nod from Steve, and he continues, “You love him?” 

Steve rolls his eyes fondly at the ridiculous question, “Of course I do, Danny.” 

“Then shake your insecurities off before I do it for you, because I am about this close to shaking some sense into you myself. You love and care so deeply for this kid, and it’s only been three weeks. That is enough of a sign from God to wake your ass up, stop doubting, stop pushing him, and just go for it.” Danny states, thumping Steve in the back of the head before saying, “We are asking him tonight after dinner.” Danny stands up, leaving Steve baffled by his words, and he nods before Danny kisses him. “Good, now I’ll see you later.”  He walks off confident in his words about tonight, and the more Danny hangs around Buck and Steve, the more he notices how similar the two are.

Steve watches Danny walk away and thinks about tonight. There are a million different ways tonight could go. Evan could say yes, he could say no, he could say nothing, but the main theme, though, is that Evan has to make the decision. It doesn’t matter the outcome; the only thing that matters for tonight's dinner is Evan and what he wants. Steve only wants what’s best for Evan, even if it means he doesn’t want to be adopted; he wants to give Evan the option, and that’s all that today is and should be about.  

Later in the day, Evan gets asked by Danny to some dinner with them. “Again? You want to have dinner with me?” 

“Yeah, of course we do. It’s better than food in the dining hall.” Danny nudges Evan’s shoulder, and he smiles. “I like seeing you smile. I think Steve likes it too.” 

“He does, but he also doesn’t smile often either.” Evan has picked up on Steve’s demeanor throughout the few weeks, but it changes whenever he sees Evan. He thought it was a coincidence, but Danny squashes that idea. 

“He smiles more around you, but I was wondering what you wanted for dinner?” Danny asks Evan. 

“Uh, I don’t know. I’m not picky and I don’t think I’m allergic to anything.” 

“Ok, I’ll figure something out.” Danny thinks about it for a second and looks toward the entrance of the base. “Actually, do you want to come with me? We can pick out something to eat and get to know each other a little bit more.” Danny offers to spend more time with the kid before possibly being his other parent. 

Evan thinks about it and looks around like he’s expecting Steve to pop up and tell him how it is. “Is that ok? I-is-does Steve know?” 

Danny shakes his head, chuckling, “I will inform Steve, but did you forget he’s my husband and not my superior?” 

“I guess. Sure, I’ll come with you.” Evan and Danny leave the base and go downtown. “Where are we going?” 

“Well, I figured we could get some burgers and fries, and what do you like to do for fun?” Danny asks and drives to one of his favorite burger shacks to take Evan to. “This place we’re going to is my favorite burger place to eat. Steve and I used to go all the time when we were on leave. He’s going to be excited we’re bringing it back.” Danny reminisces on the good times he’s had with Steve and turns the corner. “We’re here.” 

Evan follows Danny out of the car and walks inside the burger shack. “How many times have you been here?” Evan asks shyly and looks around. “This place looks out of date.” 

Danny chuckles, “It’s a 50s-themed diner. Look at the menu and order whatever.” 

Evan looks at all of the different burgers on the menu and has to take a deep breath, “There are a lot of choices. Just pick one for me, I don’t care.” Evan tries to keep his breathing under control when he explains, but Danny picks up on the odd behavior. 

Danny kneels in front of him, “Listen, I know that your parents didn’t take you to places like this, but I just want to show you that you can decide for yourself, whatever you want.” Danny gets back up and starts to look at the menu himself. 

Evan looks at the menu and takes another deep breath, “The number 3. It’s a normal cheeseburger with bacon on it; it looks the most simple. It also comes with fries and a drink.” 

“Yeah, that’s what a combo is,” Danny orders his normal number 6, which is a barbeque burger and onion rings, and orders Steve’s number 7, which is a loaded burger with vegetables and bacon cheese fries. They wait for their food while Evan looks around and checks out the jukebox.

“To answer your question, I didn’t do a whole lot of things for fun. Mainly because I was afraid my parents would do something if they found out, but I liked to draw. I had an old Algebra notebook, and I used the back of it to draw. I still have it, but it’s falling apart now.” 

Evan’s story is sad, but Danny hopes that he and Steve can change Evan’s life, and give him the life he deserves vs the one he’s had. “Maybe we can grab a new one before we head back. If you want to?” 

“You would do that for me?” Evan is shocked, to say the least. Someone he has only met today is offering him something his parents have never done. It’s something so simple to Danny and Steve, but to Evan, it’s not. A part of him is pissed that his parents couldn’t do something so simple, but at the same time it’s overwhelming because of all the attention he’s getting and the simplicity of it all. 

“Of course, Evan.” Danny’s confidence is overwhelming, but Evan is taking it for what it’s worth. “Do you want to go to the store after?” 

“Is it out of the way?” 

“No, once we get our food, we’ll stop by the store and I’ll get you one.” Danny and Evan get the food and head to the store. He goes in for a few minutes and comes back out with the essentials, and heads back to the base.

Evan is looking through the bag of drawing supplies and a new sketchbook. “How much did you pay for this?” 

“Uh, I don’t know. $15 maybe.” 

“$15? It only cost $15?!” Evan vigorously wipes the tears away. “Why couldn’t my parents just do that for me? It took you nothing, and that’s all my parents had to do, and they couldn’t.” He looks at Danny and deflates, “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at them, but thank you for giving me something so simple. It means a lot to me.” They get back to base and meet Steve. 

Danny, Steve, and Evan are enjoying dinner from the burger shack while Steve talks about their first date. “So, we had just gotten on leave and I had finally worked up the courage to ask him out, but he’s born and raised in California, so even though I asked him out, he took me to the Burger Shack, he took you. We both got the same meal we got today and shared a Shamrock Shake. After that, he took me to the beach and we spent the rest of the time hanging around and enjoying the water. It was the best date I had ever been on.” Steve turns to Danny and kisses him, smiling softly. Evan tilts his head down not to ruin their moment and only wishes he had a love like that, one day. “How was your food, Evan?” 

“It was really good. I think next time I want to try the barbeque burger Danny got, but also the cheese fries you got.” 

“A best of both worlds type of thing.” Steve smiles at seeing Evan happy and hopes the moment continues as he takes a deep breath to prepare himself for the last part of this visit. “Hey, Evan, I have an important question for you?” 

“Am I in trouble?” Evan’s smile dropped immediately, and he knew these last couple of hours were for something; he was just hoping it was because they cared about him and not because they needed something from him. His Dad did that before Maddie left for college. He would pretend to care for Evan when Maddie was around, but behind closed doors, it was all a ruse. He thought Steve and Danny were better than they were. 

Steve starts to spot Evan’s doubt on his face and quickly gets it out to squash any deprecating thoughts from his mind. “No, of course not. I-wow, I didn’t think this would be so hard.” Danny nudges Steve’s shoulder, and he takes a deep breath before just saying it. “I-we want to adopt you. I understand it might not seem necessary, but I thought we could give you the option.” 

Evan’s mind goes blank at the next words that came out of Steve’s mouth, “You-you what?” Evan doesn’t believe their words, and it almost makes sense that Danny was introduced to him as Steve’s husband and they went out, got dinner, got sketch supplies— “Is this a joke? Cause it’s not funny. You take me out and show me all of this food I’ve never tried before, and you buy me art supplies just to rip them away from me if I don’t say yes? That’s pretty—” 

“Woah, woah, woah, hey. We are not doing all of these things to convince you to get adopted. We are doing all these things because we care about you, Evan. I already talked to Danny about you, and he wanted to meet you before we asked if you wanted to get adopted.” Steve reaches his hand out to give Evan comfort, but he doesn’t take it. “Listen, Evan, you don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to get adopted, that’s fine, but  I just wanted to give you an option.” Steve looks at Danny, unsure of what he can say next, and Danny gestures to keep going. He wonders what else he could say when he gets a light bulb of an idea, “The nightmare you got yesterday, and I was there to calm you down, in that moment, I knew two things. One, I was going to do everything in my power to protect you from them, even though they’re in prison, and two, I figured the only way to do that was to give you a better life. A better option, but it’s just that Evan. It’s an option, an opportunity for you to get something better, and I don’t know if Danny and I are really the best option, but I know we’re better than your parents.” 

Evan cracks a smile and still can’t find the words to say, “I don’t know what to say. I don’t feel like I deserve a better option.” Evan takes a deep breath and wipes his tears away again. It’s crazy the amount of times he’s cried in the past few weeks, because his father used to tell him ‘men don’t cry and no son whether he’s mine or not, will either’ and it would always result in a beating if he did, but he’s noticed no one throws punches at him when he cries. Instead, they offer him comfort he doesn’t know what to do with, and open arms instead of closed fists. No wonder it’s so overwhelming when he gets comfort from Steve. 

Danny grabs Steve’s hand and interlocks their hands together before speaking up, “You don’t have to say anything. We aren’t expecting an answer tonight or even tomorrow, and if you decide you don’t want to be adopted, that’s ok too.” He looks at Steve and his jumbled-up mess of uncertainty, and then he glances at Evan and can only imagine how many questions are running through his mind. “We’ll give you some time to think about it.” Danny pulls Steve up from the table, grabs the trash, and leaves the dining hall, giving Evan time to think. 

Is this really what Evan wants? Does he want the white-picket house, but that’s just the thing; Steve and Danny aren’t the white-picket house. They are completely different from his parents and probably have movie and game nights. They sit together and enjoy their food and talk about their day. It’s everything Evan has ever wanted, but will being adopted by his superior change his direction in life? Will Steve treat him like any other recruit when push comes to shove? If Evan does become a Navy SEAL and join Steve’s team, will being his son make it harder for him? For them? Because if some of those answers are yes, then even though he wants to, maybe it’s best to keep the professional and personal line right where it’s at, instead of crossing it by taking this big step. 

I think maybe Evan needs to ask his questions to the couple before he’s 100% on board, but when he looks up, he notices they aren’t sitting across from him anymore. When did they get up? Evan rushes out of his seat and out the door of the dining hall to see them walking toward Steve’s office. “Wait? Your leaving? I didn’t even get to ask questions.” 

Steve and Danny both turn around, “We didn’t know you had any questions, plus we wanted to give you time to think about everything.” Danny speaks up, squeezing Steve’s hand in reassurance.

“I must’ve zoned out. I’m sorry, but can I ask them now?” Evan looks to the ground and shuffles his shoes back and forth in the dirt. 

“Of course you can, what can we answer for you?” 

Evan looks back up, “Would this change anything? I mean, Steve’s my superior, and I don’t want to get in another fight because you're trying to hold me back from something. I know you get worried about me, and even though it’s overwhelming. I understand why, to an extent, but I don’t want this to affect anything.” 

“I already told Steve that. I told him that one of my requirements before we asked you was that he couldn’t treat you any differently because you're our kid.” Danny knocks one of Evan’s concerns out of the ballpark when he visibly relaxes a few notches. 

“Ok, what about living situations? Would I stay living here, or would I live with you guys?” 

“You could stay with us, but I don’t go home all the time because I’m the commander, so if you're ok going home with Danny, then we have plenty of space.” Steve smiles at Danny, at the implications the questions have shifted to. 

Evan looks at Danny warily, “I don’t know if I am comfortable going with just Danny to sleep at your house, but it won’t last, it’s just—” 

“It’s ok, Evan. We understand, and that means we’ll just have to get to know each other more.” Danny gives his best smile to Evan, and the boy smiles back sheepishly. 

“Ok,” Evan tries to think if there is anything else he has questions about this decision, and just one more. Probably one of the most important, “You won’t leave me, right? My sister left me, my brother died, so he left me, and my parents left me, even though I don’t care about them. I just don’t think I can handle anyone else leaving me.” More tears pool in Evan’s eyes as he looks at his potential parents. 

Steve and Danny look at each other before Steve gives Evan the reassurance he needs, “Evan, in our line of work, it’s very hard to make promises like that, but I can promise that I will never leave you. Only death will break that promise. So if that’s all you needed to know, then we can—” Steve is cut off when Evan rams into them and hugs them tightly. 

“Yes,” he mumbles into Steve’s shirt, and as tears escape, Steve and Danny’s grip gets a little tighter. He pulls away slightly, still in their embrace, “Yes, I want you to adopt me, but I don’t want to be a Buckley anymore.” 

Steve and Danny look at each other, chuckling, and Steve kisses the boy's head before giving him more love than he knows what to do with, “Deal.” And just like that, a family is made, and a child’s spirits are brought up just a little bit more. 

There will be challenges along the way, like Evan’s insecurities and Steve’s overbearing love, but they’ll get through it, and now, they’re doing it as a family.

Chapter Text

Even though Evan said yes to the adoption, it doesn’t mean he was automatically Steve and Danny’s son. They had to go through this whole process of checking Steve and Danny’s home, doing training classes, and finally waiting for the judge to meet with them, but finally, the family is coming together. Evan is scared to say the least, and he hopes this long process isn’t making them regret asking him. He makes sure of that the night before their court proceedings and dinner at Steve and Danny’s house, “Are you sure about all of this? You don’t have to go through with it?” 

Steve and Danny look at each other. “We are sure, Evan, and we should be asking you that, not the other way around,” Steve reassures him. 

“Ok, are we sleeping here tonight or going back to base after dinner?” 

“Yeah we’ll sleep here, and then we’ll ride to court tomorrow, together.” Danny adds on and they get ready for the early morning ahead. He understands Evan’s concerns and they have talked several times throughout the process to make sure Evan is aware that they’re not changing their minds about adopting him. 

The Next Day

When they get there, they meet up with Miss. Patch and head into the courtroom. Evan is already in and getting situated when Miss. Patch comments, “I’m glad we’re seeing each other again under different circumstances, Mr. McGarrett.” Clara smirks at Steve and reaches a hand out to Danny, “This must be the husband. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Nice to meet you, too, Miss. Patch.” Danny extends his warm greeting to a woman who has done so much for that boy without even barely knowing him. Everyone else walks into the courtroom and takes their respective seats. Evan and Miss. Patch is sitting in the same spot they were last time they were in court, and Steve and Danny are sitting in Evan’s parents' spot. 

“Nice to see you all again and this time, under better circumstances. I am happy to say this is an adoption proceeding for the child of Evan Buckley. Steve McGarrett and Daniel Williams, do you wish to proceed with the adoption process?” 

“Yes, we do,” Steve answers, holding Danny’s hand and glancing at Evan. 

“Alright, Mr. Evan Buckley, do you wish to proceed with the adoption?” 

“Yes, sir.” Evan holds his hands together anxiously. 

“Very well, Mr. McGarrett, what do you hope to accomplish in adopting Evan?” 

“We understand in the past, that his homelife has been difficult and we just hope to give him the one he deserves. After hearing his testimony the last time we we’re here, it opened my eyes to the love Evan missed out on and I hope to give that to him.” 

“Ok, Mr. Williams, do you and your husband understand the different unexpected situations you could face taking in a teenager? Evan has gone through a great deal of trauma, and that could be challenging for someone in your and your husband’s profession. Are you prepared for that?” 

“Yes, we are ma’am. Evan means a lot to us and no matter what he’s faced alone in the past, we will make sure he doesn’t face it alone again. Our profession though, does pose difficulties, but as we have expressed to both Evan and his case worker, we are willing and waiting for whatever challenges we face in the future.” Danny smiles softly at Evan as he squeezes Steve’s hand for comfort and reassurance for the both of them. 

The judge then turns her attention to Evan and Miss. Patch. “Miss. Patch, as Evan’s case worker, do you trust the answers given by Mr. McGarrett and Mr. Williams? And do you believe they share the best interests of Evan?” 

“I do, ma’am. Steve and I have had our conversations, and I was hoping he would adopt Evan. I noticed several different instances of Steve being there for Evan in more ways than one during the first time we were here, and I know how much he loves the kid. His husband, Danny, even though I have only met him today, I know in my heart and with my eyes, that the way they look at Evan shows me everything I need to know in letting Evan be happy. It’s the least I can do, after all he’s been through.” Miss. Patch finishes, giving Evan a comforting hand. 

The judge has a smile on her face as she accepts Miss. Patch’s answer, “Very well, then. Evan, before we proceed with the adoption decree, would you like to change your name in any way?” 

He looks at Steve, and he nods before Evan addresses the judge again, “Yes, I would.” He takes a deep breath and he already knew he was going to want Steve’s last name, getting rid of the Buckley name completely, but Danny has already made an impact on him in the short time they’ve known each other and he thinks it’s only fair to include both of them in his name. They have both made a difference in his life, and it’s only right to give them the confirmation. “I want my name to be Evan William McGarrett. I want to give both of my dads the recognition they deserve for doing such a thing for me.” Evan has tears pooling in his eyes, and he wipes them away quickly, only to see Steve and Danny with similar tears. 

“Ok, will everyone please stand up?” Everyone in the room stands up, and the judge continues, “Do you, Steve McGarrett and Daniel Williams, promise to give Evan Buckley the care and love any kid deserves and look after him in all the days of your life?” 

They smile at each other with tears starting to slip down their cheeks before looking at the judge and saying at the same time, “We do.” 

“Great, Evan Buckley, do you want Steve McGarrett and Daniel Williams to be your parents, and do you wish for your full name from this day forward to be Evan William McGarrett?” 

“Yes, yes, ma’am, I do.” Evan is smiling brighter than any smile Steve and Danny have ever seen on his face before. 

“Awesome, then by the power invested in me and the state of California, I now pronounce you a family.” The judge stamps the paper at her desk, and the decree is completed. 

Evan runs over to Steve and Danny who were already meeting in the middle, and embraces in a family group hug. They stay like that for a while before pictures are taken of the newfound family. There is a few pictures with just Steve, Danny, and Evan, but then they take a few more pictures with Evan’s little sister, Miss. Patch, and the judge even joined for a picture. 

The rest of the day ended with the family at the ice cream parlor across the street and Evan officially meeting his little sister, Grace, and sharing some of his ice cream with her before she went home with her mother and Danny’s ex-wife, Rachel. Danny had explained to Evan that he only sees her one weekend a month, sometimes two if he’s lucky, but for the most part, she lives with her mom. Evan is excited to have a younger sibling, but it sounds like he’s not going to see her very often. 

Oh well, his day is turning around and he still has two months of Navy Basic Training left before informing his now Dad that he wants to be a SEAL. Things are finally looking up for Evan, and he’s not even seventeen yet. 

—Two Months Later—

“This trainee has worked harder than any of my other trainees and has gone above and beyond, no matter how small he might be. Please help me in graduating, Evan Buckley, from Navy Basic Training.” Senior Officer Harper congratulates Evan, and Steve is up on stage to shake his hand and everyone else’s as he is the Commander. 

“I’m proud of you, Evan.” Steve shakes his hand, and Evan smiles before getting back in line. They go through the rest of the graduates, and once they’re dismissed, Evan heads over to Danny, Grace, and Lewis. 

Evan walks up to Danny, holding Grace, and she giggles when Evan comes over. They haven’t had a whole lot of interactions after he was adopted, but she’s five and loves everyone. He tickles her chest, and she squirms in Danny’s arms. “Hey, cutey.” He addresses his little sister and turns back to the adults, “Thank you for being here. I didn’t even get to graduate high school, but I know no one would’ve been cheering me on like you guys did.” 

Lewis comes over and wraps an around Evan’s shoulder, “Hey, no trauma-dumping. Tonight is a night of celebration and a lot of eating.” He pats Evan’s back before pulling away and taking Grace so Danny can get a proper hug. 

“I am very proud of you, Evan. You are the youngest Navy Sailor, and you did it with pride.” Danny had Evan at arm's length while he gave his little speech, but then pulled him in for a hug. They have gotten closer in the two months, and Evan officially moved out of the lonely bedroom on base to the not-so-lonely bedroom at Steve and Danny’s house. They haven’t really had the time to have game or movie nights with Evan working his ass off, but they have had multiple family moments just at the dinner table alone. Evan had also taken a liking to cooking, and now any time Danny cooks, cause he’s better than Steve, Evan always joins in on the helping and preparing. It’s the time Danny and Evan gain a bond is when they’re slaving away in the kitchen together. 

Steve finally comes over and pulls Evan out of Danny’s arms and into his own, “I don’t know what Danny told you, but two times that because, Evan, you have truly made an impressive mark at this base and you being the youngest member of the Navy will for sure go on the record. I know, I wanted to know your answer by the time you graduated, but I am just too damn proud to care where you go, because wherever you go from here, you are going to kick ass and we are going to be right behind you through all of it. Just like we were for this one.” Steve looks into Evan’s bright blue eyes to make sure he understands Steve’s words, “And I meant it, Evan. I don’t care anymore, all I want is for you to be happy, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

Evan smiles broadly at the family around him. He already knows where he’s going, but keeping his parents on the edge of their toes is fun too. Evan and Steve have grown in their relationship, too, after the adoption. His promise to keep an open mind and not push Evan to uncomfortable levels has really shown through. It’s been overwhelming still, and Evan is pretty sure that’s not going to change, but their love is infectious and consuming in all the good ways. His room at the house slowly grows with things he likes than just things he needs, it still looks a little bare, but he doesn’t know what he likes enough to have it on his walls.

Steve and Danny have been helping him discover new hobbies like reading, drawing, building Legos, cooking, and oddly, planting and exploring the different plant life he can grow in Danny’s garden. He’s also discovered the electronic side of it all, like playing on Steve’s Xbox, watching Danny’s favorite movies, and finding what TV shows he likes and which ones should never air on TV again. “I already decided what I’m going to do.” Evan’s words stop everyone in their tracks to listen to him. “I have thought about it a lot, and it wasn’t a hard decision. I just didn’t want to tell you all until everything was set. With that being said,” and just to stretch it out further, he looks to Lewis for an impromptu drum roll, “can I get a drumroll please?” He watches Steve and Danny’s tight grips on each other as they wait in anticipation for Evan to finally tell them what he decided. The fake drum continues until, “I can’t stay away from you guys, so I’m going to be a SEAL. Or at least try.” As soon as the word ‘seal’ came out of Evan’s mouth, Steve and Danny broke away from each other to pull the boy in for a group hug. 

Lewis joined too, “That’s awesome dude, you're going to be the youngest and most qualified badass ever.” In their little family, Lewis is definitely what Evan would consider the fun uncle, because he’s the type of guy to give Evan some good advice one day, and give him a boost of confidence with a curse word or two on another day. He’s really going to miss Lewis when he goes on his first op. 

Steve pulls Evan away, but keeps him at shoulder length, looking him straight in the eyes when he says, “Are you sure? You're not doing this just because of us?” 

“Steve, Danny, I decided to do this before you told me you were adopting me, because even though you were being overwhelming, I knew I couldn’t be without my Dad for too long.” Evan is ok with using ‘Dad’ to Steve, but he’s kept it professional by never saying it while on base or in the field, when it comes to that moment. He felt the moment was right, though he was correct when Steve pulled him in for another hug, just the two of them. Before Evan met Danny, it really was just the two of them against everything else in the world. Evan felt that connection with Steve when they first met, but everytime he’s felt something like that in the past, he always ignored it because anything good in his life before his birth parents were in prison, was always crushed by said parents so he thought it was better to never have hope, then to watch it be crushed in front of you. “I love you both so much, and I don’t think I can do it without you.” 

“Alright, but you asked for it. Our team is a little chaotic at times, but you’ll fit right in. After you graduate from SEAL Training, of course.” Danny chimes in, patting Evan on the back before he pulls back. 

“Ok, ok, ok, ok. Enough. No more physical touch.” Evan shakes his body out of the discomfort he feels and pulls away. Things haven’t always been up since Evan was adopted, but they’ve both told him that when he’s uncomfortable with something they do, to just speak up and they’ll back off, no questions asked. Physical interactions have been at the forefront, and although he knows Steve and Danny won’t lay a harmful hand on him, ever. Evan still has to come to terms with that; he’s also been in therapy in between training as well, but he has to do those over the computer because he is uncomfortable with being alone with strangers. They’ve had a plethora of problems they’re facing together, but they have more good days than bad days. 

“Ok, Evan, are you up for going out for dinner for your celebration or something small at home?” Danny steps forward, always being the mediator when Evan gets overstimulated. 

Evan takes a deep of a breath as his body will let him, “Can we just go home and do something? Maybe just the five of us.” He looks at Lewis still holding Grace, and smiles. 

“Yeah, just the five of us. Sounds good. I say we get some pizza and wings for dinner and maybe a game night?” Steve suggests. 

Evan nods and takes another deep breath, “Sounds good.” One of the other struggles Evan has noticed, but hasn’t really voiced, is sometimes because of all the repeated abuse to his ribs and chest area, Evan has some problems breathing. Like his body is so used to labored breathing that he sometimes feels like he can’t get enough air. He most definitely should tell Danny and Steve about it, but it’s fine. Right? 

Evan and his family spend the rest of the night eating pizza and playing a ton of games Evan has never played, but they were glad to teach him and he still kicked their asses in most of the games. Evan was missing out on fun nights like this with his birth parents, but they would’ve never played games with him, or even had him at the dinner table long enough to finish his food. He’s also had some troubles with eating, whether he does it too fast or doesn’t do it at all, Steve and Danny still notice and try to help him through it. One of his favorite ways to get the proteins and nutrients he needs is smoothies. It can’t replace every meal, as Steve has pointed out multiple times, but it does help him. He’s also been reminded that Steve is never going to flip his dinner out of anger or ever, and that helps too. He’s yet to yell at them, though. It was something his therapist told him to watch out for; one of the biggest things in child abuse was over-the-top mood swings, and other than crying, he hasn’t had any yet.  

It’s rough sometimes, but Evan still loves them, and they love him, and that’s never going to change.

Chapter Text

3 Months Later 

Three months into Buck’s training for the Navy SEALs and the nickname is sticking more and more, but he still likes Steve calling him Evan even though he never liked his first name. Danny calls him Buck, though, and he’s starting to get more comfortable with living at home without Steve there all the time. Training is kicking his ass and is way harder than basic training, but he’s working through it and now he’s eating dinner with Steve and Danny, something they do all the time. “So, Buck, what are you wanting to do for your birthday? We don’t want to overwhelm you, but we want to celebrate you.” Danny starts talking about Buck’s birthday and doesn’t notice Buck starting to get nervous. 

“Um,” He stutters, but Danny keeps talking. The question itself isn’t overwhelming or too much for Buck, but it’s the fact that Danny doesn’t seem to notice him being uncomfortable with his birthday.

“We could do whatever. We could go out, play games. Whatever you want, but we just want it to be special since it’s your first birthday with us, and I know it’s been nonexistent in the past, which is why we want to make it special for you. Not really soon or anything because your birthday is in a few days…” Danny continues rambling on. 

Buck’s anxiety rises, and when he gets like this, his emotions pull out uncontrollably, and he gets angry for no reason. He feels it bubbling up the more Danny talks about his birthday. To be 100% honest, anything they could do would be better than anything his parents never did, and he already knows it’s going to be overwhelming, but he can’t communicate that, and he’s about to snap. 

He notices Steve picking up on his demeanor and trying to catch Danny so he can stop him before Evan snaps. “Danny,” He reaches out, but Danny is still talking and not paying attention to the problem at hand. 

Buck’s hands are shaking, his heartrate is picking up, he wants to control it, but Danny just won’t shut up. “Shut up!” He finally snaps, but then pulls back starting to cry, “Danny.” He backs away from his parents. “I’m sorry.” He turns and runs into his room, slamming the door behind him. 

Danny plops into his chair, finally realizing the gravity of the situation, “What have I done? He hates me now.” Danny holds his head in his hands. 

Steve looks to Evan’s room and then sits across Danny, putting a hand on his knee, “He doesn’t hate you, he was just trying to control his feelings, and everything got too much and you were excited to celebrate his birthday. It just got too much for him.” Steve holds him close, “He’s going to be ok, we just need to give him some time.” 

Danny's laugh is self-deprecating, “That’s great, coming from you. I remember telling you not so long ago to give him time during basic training, and now you're telling me the same thing.” He gets up and starts pacing, “How could I have not noticed that he was getting overstimulated? We’ve been working through it since he started SEAL training. We were worried that he would snap at one of his instructors, and instead, he snapped at me. All because I wasn’t paying attention. This is all my fault.” 

Steve gets up and pulls Danny up with him. He grabs him by the shoulders, “It is not your fault.” He sighs and kisses Danny’s head, “Listen, I’m going to go check on him and make sure he’s ok, but I need you to take a breath and remember everything we’ve helped him through. It is not ever going to be your fault. You were just excited, and I was happy to see you light up, but he was not used to the excitement, and that’s ok.” Steve squeezes Danny’s shoulder before heading to Evan’s room. 

Meanwhile, Buck is crying in his room, sitting against the door. He knows he’s not in trouble, but it never feels like that. If Buck ever snapped at his father, he would’ve been smacked upside the head so hard, he would have been knocked out. The difference between Steve and his birth father is uncanny, and he still gets overwhelmed, which is why his emotions are all over the place. 

All of a sudden, someone knocks on his door, and Steve’s voice echoes through, “Evan, I just wanted to check on you. I can give you some space if you want, and we’ll understand.” Evan’s emotions cause him to overreact again: “Go away!” He tries to take a deep breath before trying again. “Please don’t leave, I’m sorry.” Buck cries more, and his door opens. 

“Hey,” Steve sees Evan’s discomfort and calls in the other member of their family, “Danny, come in here.” He looks to Evan to make sure it’s ok and he nods. He sits on the floor next to Evan when Danny joins in, leaning against the doorframe. “You know we’re not mad at you.” 

“I know you’re not, it just feels that way.” He looks to Danny, “I’m sorry Danny, I didn’t mean to-to yell at you.” 

Danny walks and pulls Buck to his feet, “I love you Buck and I know you didn’t mean to. It’s ok, we’ve been working through it.” He pulls Buck in his arms and holds him tight. “It’s ok, Buck.” Danny pulls Steve in the hug too. “We’re ok.” The family spend the rest of the night watching movies in the family room and birthday drama goes to the back of everyone’s mind. 

3 More Months Later

Buck’s birthday was a success, and the family celebrated small with just the four of them. Danny was able to get Grace for the weekend, and they had family time for Buck’s seventeenth birthday. One more year before he’s an adult, and this time, he’s not ready to run away the first chance he gets. Now, he wants nothing more than to be with his family and impress his fellow new teammates. “I’m scared, Dad. What if they don’t like me?” Buck asks as he and his Dad are getting out of the car. They just got back from Buck’s graduation ceremony as a full-blown Navy SEAL, and Steve came to officially add him to the team. The higher-ups were a little hesitant, but Buck’s skills picked up during training will be put to good use, and Steve already promised not to let their relationship jeopardize anything. Now, Danny was at the house getting things together for a celebration of all that Buck has done this past year. Not just because he graduated SEAL training, but for everything else in between, and Steve informed Buck that his teammates will be there to celebrate and meet their new team member. 

As of right now, the team doesn’t know anything other than their getting a new member of the team. “We’ll tell them everything they need to know tonight at dinner, and the team is going to love you, Evan. Just remember that your age is what’s going to trip them up the most for now, but they’ll warm up to you, and then you’ll be just another brother on the team.” Steve pats Evan’s back and understands this is going to be challenging for him, but it’s just another obstacle they’ll jump over together. 

Buck and Steve walk into the threshold of the house and everyone turns their heads to look at the new member. The tallest one other than Steve, speaks up first, “Is this him? He looks a little small, Steve.” He walks forward, still thrusting a hand to the kid. “I’m Zayne, everyone calls me Zay though.” 

His quick movements, caused Buck to flinch back before realizing it’s just a handshake and quickly recovers, “I’m Buck.” He smiles sheepishly. 

“Nice to meet you, Buck.” Zayne notices his firm handshake and comments about it, “Well, you might be a little short, but you're not shorter than Raiden, and that is one firm grip, kid.” Zayne releases his grip and gestures for Buck to follow. “Where did you find him, Steve?” 

“Why don’t we help Danny set up the table, and then we’ll talk all about it,” Steve suggests, guiding Evan gently to the table. Sitting him next to Steve, and the one closest to Evan’s height. 

The team work in tandom to set the table and once everyone’s plates are filled, the questions start pouring out. “Hi, Buck, I’m Cae and we’re excited to get to know you.” The only girl on the team, speaks up after taking a drink of her beer. “It’s short for Caelyn, but no one ever calls me that. Is Buck a nickname?” 

“Yeah, it is. I got it during basic training, and it kind of stuck.” Buck loosens up a little at Cae’s happy attitude. 

The one next to him nudges his shoulder, “You gotta tell us the story. I’m Terry, by the way.” 

Buck rubs the back of his neck as it’s kind of embarrassing, “Well, it’s a little embarrassing, but I was doing the obstacle course and got distracted. I tripped over the tires, and instead of tripping, they said I bucked over it.” 

The one at the end smacks the table laughing, and it causes Buck to flinch before recovering quickly, and no one notices except for his parents, of course. “That’s hilarious, I love it. I’m Deon, and I love a good joke.” He wipes his tears from laughing and continues to eat. 

“Don’t let him worry you, he thinks he so cool cause his parents are married.” Zayne comments hitting Deon’s shoulder and he smacks him right back. They get into a sissy fight before Steve clears his throat and they both stop. 

“That’s enough, boys. I want Buck to feel welcome, not regret joining our team.” Steve smiles softly at Evan and Cae notices, but doesn’t say anything and the group continues to eat in relative silence. 

“How old is he?” the one that hasn’t spoken since Buck got here, finally did, and he asks the question on everyone’s mind. Buck spots his voice is deep and seated like he’s closer to his Dad’s age than the rest of them. 

All heads turn to face Buck as they await his answer. No one is moving until their satisfied. It’s a little overwhelming, but he takes a deep breath and says it anyway, “I’m 17, and I just turned 17 three months ago.” 

All of their faces read the same emotion, and that is pure shock. All except for the quiet one, who seems content or not ready to challenge it, as chaos surrounds them. They start throwing questions in Buck’s face, and he starts to get overwhelmed with it all. “How is that even possible?” “What? Why do we have a child on our team!?” “Steve, Danny, you knew about this?” “Why are we just letting him be on our team?!” Everyone’s questions varied in the same way Buck expected; confused, mad, and above all, confused. Before Buck can speak up again, Steve answers everyone’s concerns with his authoritative voice, Buck only hears when he’s around the base. 

He stands up at the head of the table, glances at Buck, takes a deep breath, and answers everyone’s concerns, “Yes, Buck is seventeen. Yes, Danny and I knew that before he joined. I’m letting him on the team because he has skills and strength that no one in training has compared to. You will treat him like any other member. His age doesn’t mean anything to you; it is his skill level, so focus on that and drop the shocked faces. Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir.” They all say simultaneously and sit back down, eating their dinner. Their questions still linger, and Buck knows that this new information spikes more questions than answers, but Zayne speaks up first, “I probably would’ve done the same thing if my Aunt and Uncle let me. Don’t stress too much about it, kid.” Zayne is sitting across from Buck and next to Cae, when he taps the spot in front of Buck to make him look up. When he does, Zayne gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“Thanks,” Buck goes back to eating and it’s now an awkward silence when the quiet one finally speaks up. 

“I’m Raiden. I’m sorry I did not introduce myself earlier. These knuckleheads can be too much to handle sometimes, but they mean well. I can’t imagine any of my kids in the military, but you've got guts, kid.” 

Buck smiles and looks to his parents, “My parents are proud of me, but they can be a little worrisome too.” Buck smirks at Steve and Danny who rolls their eyes fondly at their loveable idiot. 

“We love you, too, Evan.” Steve pulls out and spots everyone’s confused looks once again at the simple, yet mind-blowing interaction. 

Cae speaks up first this time, calmer than the first info dump, “Steve, you have a kid? How are we just now hearing about this?” 

“Because, we adopted Evan nine months ago and I wanted him to join on his own, but yes, he is mine and Danny’s son.” 

Deon scoffs, “Oh, so dude gets a fucking free pass? That’s great. You know some of us got a shitty training montage, and the only reason I’m still here is because of this team. I earned my spot, you didn’t. You just get everything handed to you on a fucking silver platter!” He smacks the table again as he gets up, throwing his chair to the side and storming out of the house. 

Zayne looks between Buck and Deon before getting up, “DE!” He chases after him, leaving the house too. He leaves, everyone else taking in Deon’s words and Buck’s reaction. 

Buck’s hands had started to shake, and memories of his father angry at him, flooded his mind. His breathing was picking up when Steve got up and pulled his chair out, “Evan, you're ok. Everything is ok.” Steve pulls Evan to his feet and he pushes away from Steve once he’s on his feet.

“Just-just,” he looks around at everyone's concerned faces, “just leave me alone.” He runs out of the room, straight to his bedroom. 

Steve sees red and is about to march outside to Deon when Danny grabs his arm, “Stop it, Steve. This won’t help anything. Buck doesn’t need you to fight his battles, We knew not everyone was going to accept it, but—”

“He doesn’t even know the whole story!!” Steve’s hands gesture to the front door, “Evan deserves to be on this team like everyone else. He didn’t get a fucking free pass.” 

“Steve, honey, you need to take a deep breath. This is exactly what Buck was worried about. Breathe.” Danny pulls Steve away from the group taking him to the backyard, “Terry, Cae, clean up the kitchen and Raiden if you could make sure the boys aren’t doing anything destructive, that would be great.” Danny instructs the others before heading outside. 

Raiden leaves to check on Deon and Zayne, while Terry and Cae are cleaning up. “So, what do you think about the kid?” Terry asks, looking towards Buck’s room. 

“He seems like a decent kid, and Steve did say he’s earned his place.” She looks at Buck’s room now, too. “It just makes me wonder what the kid has been through for Steve to get that angry. Cause I’ve never seen him that angry, especially at one of us.” Cae and Terry might’ve just met the kid today, but he’s already wormed his way inside, and they’re not going to let one of their teammates put the kid down. “I’m going to go check on him.” Cae leaves Terry to clean up the rest of the mess in the kitchen, but he abandons it too and follows suit.

“If you're checking on him, then I’m going too.” Terry and Cae go to Buck’s room, and Cae knocks softly on the door, but Terry speaks up. “Buck, it’s me and Cae. We just wanted to check on you. Can we come in?” 

Buck wipes his tears vigorously from his face and straightens up a little bit, “Sure.” They enter the room slowly, but hang by his door. 

“We were just worried about you, thought you could use the company.” Cae inches closer to Buck, but doesn’t sit next to him yet. 

“I’m fine, did Steve send you in here?” 

They look at each other before Terry answers, “No, he didn’t. He was angry at Deon and wanted to handle it, but Danny pulled him out the back for some fresh air. Are you ok?” 

“I’m fine, it’s just he doesn’t have the right to say that. I don’t know what he’s been through, and you all don’t know what I’ve been through. It might seem like I got it easy, but I’m a child with a whole bunch of competitive grown-ups, so it was definitely not easy.” Buck looks down at his body and remembers that he used to not have any muscles or meat on his bones before he joined. Even after he joined the military, it took him a while to gain his strength and be able to show it off, “Plus, I didn’t always look like this.” 

Cae and Terry ventured to his bed and sat on either side of him, “Deon did have it rough during training, but it doesn’t give him the right to judge you.” Terry looks at Cae and smiles, “We’ll have your back until Deon gets a little bit more comfortable with you.” Now that Buck seems to be in a better mood, Terry is looking around the room, when he notices Buck lives here. “You live here?” 

“This is Danny and Steve’s house, Terry. What did you expect?” Cae rolls her eyes fondly. “Steve and Danny are good dads to us, so I’m sure their great dads to you. I mean, look at this room, they must love you.” Cae looks around at the pictures, legos, posters, and clothes scattered throughout the room. The only thing that seems like it’s not a teenage boy’s bedroom is the smell. It smells delightful in here compared to her brother’s room, and he isn’t even a teenager yet. “I, for one, I’m very excited to work with you.” She gets up and goes to his LEGO collection shelf. “Which one was your favorite to build?” 

Buck looks at the Lego collection and smiles. It was his favorite pastime, and most of the time, he did it alone, but Steve and Danny bought me my first LEGO set when I was adopted by them, and we had a family night after dinner, where we built it together. It’s the bright green Lamborghini. I didn’t watch a whole lot of movies and TV shows, so most of the stuff I didn’t want to build. We picked out a car instead.” Buck explains, smiling at the memory, when someone else comes into his room. 

Zayne and Deon come knocking on Buck’s open door, only to find Terry and Cae already in here. “What are you guys doing in here?” 

“We wanted to check on Buck. You better be here to apologize.” Cae crosses her arms, standing between Buck and Deon. “Oh, and Deon, I can’t believe someone like you would judge him just based on pure assumption.” Cae glares at Deon, and he looks ashamed. Buck starts to get the vibe that just because Cae is the only girl on the team, she makes sure everyone is afraid of her, despite her happy, positive attitude on the outside. 

Buck finally gets up and stands next to Cae, “It’s ok, Cae.” He pats her back before looking at Deon, “I understand my age and appearance might make you think I didn’t earn my place, and I still want to learn and gain all of your trust, but I earned my place like everyone else. I don’t know when all of you joined the military or the challenges you faced, but I went through basic training at 16, and I didn’t always have muscle. I was actually a pretty scrawny kid. All Danny and Steve did was give me support, something I wasn’t used to. If you're mad at me because I got a free pass, then that can’t be further from the truth.” Buck speaks his mind and waits for the repercussions. 

Deon clears his throat, “I’m sorry, man. We just met you today, and I judged a book by its cover like everyone did for me, and that wasn’t right.” Deon looks around and holds out his hand to Buck, “Truce?” 

“Truce,” Buck smiles and shakes Deon’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.” 

Deon chuckles, “Can we just forget the dinner happened?” 

“I think you would have to worry more about my Dad than me, but I can forget it.” Buck chuckles, and Deon and Zayne check out Buck’s room. Everyone seems to be impressed with his LEGO collection, and he pulls out a big container full of extra pieces. They sit on Buck’s floor playing with the LEGO when Steve and Danny round the corner to find everyone in Buck’s room. 

“What is going in here?” Steve and Danny had exited the backyard back into the house to find no one in sight, but Raiden reading in the living room. He pointed to Buck’s room, where they heard laughter and this was the sight in front of them. A bunch of grown ass adults, and Buck, playing legos in the middle of the floor. Even Cae had joined in on the madness and usually she’s on the sidelines with Raiden, during the groups shenanigans. 

Buck stands up and stops Steve and Danny from entering further, “They were just checking up on me, Dad. Deon and I made up, and we all started building Legos. Everything is good now.” Buck crosses his arms now, wondering what his parents were going to do, “You weren’t going to come yell at Deon, were you? Dad, you promised you were going to treat me like everyone else, and that’s not going to change just because of one little fight that got solved on its own.” 

Buck looks at Danny, who placates his rising anger, “I was talking him out of it, and we were just wondering where everyone ventured off to. Everything is fine, Buck.” Danny addresses everyone in the room now, “We will officially be back in active duty tomorrow, now that our team is complete. With that being said, enjoy your free time today because tomorrow, it’s back to work. You know where your sleeping quarters are.” Danny smiles softly at Buck before dragging Steve out of Buck’s room and back into the living room, “I told you he would be fine. Our son is tough, and he’s properly trained. He can handle himself.” 

Steve sighs and cuddles deeper into Danny on the couch, “I know. I just—I feel like when he turns eighteen, I’ll be better, but I’m not counting on it. I just don’t know what I’m going to do if a fight goes too far or he gets hurt. I mean, what then?” 

Raiden, still reading his book, advises his superiors, “You breathe. You remember that he is human and a kid. He will make dumb decisions, but he knows who to come to when he needs help. Now, you need to breathe and remember you are not his only help anymore. They are.” Raiden gestures to the room of laughter and goes back to his book. “Also, remember I have kids, too. I know how you are feeling.” Although Raiden would never want any of his kids following in his footsteps, he knows how scary it is to watch your kids grow up before your eyes. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, Buck and the team woke up and started working out their first mission together again, and Buck’s first mission ever. During the debrief, Buck could see his Dad’s worry, but it was a simple mission. Something that happens in your sleep, and he also began to explain everyone’s roles. “This is a locate and kill mission. We will be heading to Guatemala in search of this man,” Steve pulls up a picture of the man their searching for. He has a long beard and is bald on top. He looks to be much older than Buck’s parents. “He is in charge of the terrorist attacks that have been happening all over Guatemala, and we are tasked with locating and killing him.” Steve looks around at his team before he gives them their tasks during the operation. “Cae, when we arrive in Guatemala, I need you to debrief with Danny and narrow down his location. We have an estimate, but it’s not good enough.” She nods her confirmation, and Steve continues, “Raiden, you're our eyes in the sky with Zayne. We do not engage further with the authorities unless I say so. That leaves me, Buck, Terry, and Deon on the ground. We will be stationed here, and once Cae has a precise location, Buck,” Steve pauses, making direct eye contact with his son. He takes a deep breath and gives him his first target. “You will be tasked with taking the target out. Terry will be there in case something goes wrong, but don’t miss.” Steve smiles at Buck when he sees him light up at getting a task, and Steve continues the debrief. He finishes with, “This might be a simple mission, but nothing is ever simple, so don’t treat it like it is. We all know how things can go south fairly quickly. So stick to your jobs, report everything in, and Hoorah.” 

Steve concludes the debrief, and everyone yells out, “HOORAH!!!” 

“Alright, guys, grab your gear and be ready to head out in a few hours.” Danny dismisses the team and calls out to Buck before he packs up, “Buck.” 

Buck comes over, and Steve hangs back too, but doesn’t say anything. “This is your chance to show the team that your age doesn’t matter. We believe in you, now it’s your turn to believe in yourself.” Danny pats Buck’s shoulder, “Now go get ready.” Danny and Steve watch as Buck runs off to his room with a determined look in his eye, ready to impress everyone with his first mission. “Are you ready for this?” Danny holds his husband close, knowing he’s most definitely not ready for this. 

“Fuck no, but he can’t prove anything if I don’t let him.” He’s still looking to where Buck once was and lets out a deep sigh, “I’ve never been this scared for a mission before. This kid is killing my hard commander look.” 

Danny laughs and kisses Steve on the cheek before patting it, “He’s going to be ok, and you're still a tough, macho, SEAL man in my eyes.” Danny shakes his head, laughing as he leaves to get himself ready for the mission. Both physically and mentally because he can’t lie either. He’s scared for Buck, but he also knows this is what he’s trained for. It’s time he gets a chance to use those skills and shock all of the members and trainers who have doubted him. 

It’s time for Buck to prove them wrong. 

The confidence of his parents is keeping him going as he packs what he needs, but the lingering presence of one of his teammates lurks in his doorway. “Can I help you?” 

Terry laughs and comes further into the room, “No, just already impressed. I was scared shitless my first mission, and I was only Twenty. I’m just already impressed, and I haven’t seen your skills yet. You must be another sniper, otherwise, Steve is an idiot for tasking you with killing our target.” 

Buck chuckles, realizing he doesn’t know much of anyone’s skills yet. They talked briefly about it while playing with Legos on his bedroom floor, but he doesn’t remember things very well. Too many hits to the head, I guess. “I am, and you're one too, right?” 

“That’s right. We’re probably going to be working together a lot.” He watches Buck pack for a little bit before noticing the kid getting uncomfortable, “Well, I have to finish packing, but I’ll see you out there, partner.” Terry heads back out of the room and hopes he’s not coming on too strong for the new kid. He doesn’t want to freak him out or scare him to the point where he won’t get the job done, but the kid is a mystery that Terry and everyone else want to know more about. 

Buck takes a deep breath after Terry leaves and is very aware of his lack of social skills, but he’s only just now getting used to the attention and love of Steve and Danny, and joining the team and the hell of a first day he had made him more anxious. Danny is right, though; he just needs to prove his skills, and he’ll be in. He can’t tense up, this is his time to shine, and if he fails… Well, he doesn’t want to think about that right now. 

He shouldn’t be worried, though, his shooting skills in training were on point and the higher scale than most of the other recruits, and they might’ve been a little jealous, but Buck didn’t live on base for that part of his training, and Steve was still around, so it was fine. Buck was shocked himself with the accuracy of his shots, and when he tried on the sniper rifle, his accuracy was even better, and he had found a purpose. Something he wasn’t sure he would find going down this path. I mean, he didn’t even get to graduate high school, not that he could’ve had a fighting chance hanging around his bio parents any longer anyway. 

He is curious though, to learn some different skills with his team and if he remembers correctly, Zayne’s skill is blowing shit up, although to him, it’s more complicated than that, but it still sounds fun. Caelyn is all about computers and hacking. She can shoot a gun, too, like everyone else, but her fingers working on a keyboard are much faster than her skills at reloading and unloading a gun. Raiden is the team's engineer/pilot. According to everyone else, cause he was too busy reading to join in on their building, he can fly anything and probably should’ve been a part of the Air Force or something, but they all love working under Dad. Deon works more under Danny’s command because he’s the team’s medic, but they all work together, so it doesn’t matter. He likes taking care of people cause his parents are in the medical field, except he would rather shoot people and then heal them up than just diagnose them. Buck was pretty sure his sister wanted to be in the medical field too, but he left too soon for Buck to know if his sister finally followed her dream. Speaking of his sister, it’s the only family member he wants to reach out to and let her know he’s ok and happy, but he has no way of contacting her. He hopes to see her one day, though. 

----------------------------------

When they arrived in Guatemala, it was the first time Buck had ever set foot outside of California and it was pretty on the outside and good for tourists, but Buck knew his team wasn’t here for pleasure and when they got to the source of the problem, it became clear there was good parts of Guatemala and bad parts. Their lookout house was a little questionable, but if Cae or Ghost as Buck needs to start calling her while on missions, is good at her job as Buck knows she is, then this shouldn’t take too long. 

Everyone has a callsign or a name given to them to keep their identity secret. Buck doesn’t have one yet and he said he didn’t need one cause Buck is a callsign, but it’s not and Zay said they’ll find him one that fits sooner or later. 

A few hours later, while Buck is eating his first MRE and actually enjoying it despite everyone’s protests. Cae shoots up from her chair, “I found him, but we gotta move. He’s heading to the airport.” She informs everyone and they are quick to move around, grabbing their gear. 

Steve calls out to Zay and Raiden first on the comms, “M.K, Fuze, get a visual on his vehicle and the quickest way to the airport.” 

“Copy that.” Fuze or Zay calls back for Raiden. 

Fuze makes sense because of his skill of blowing shit up, but as Steve, Deon, Terry, and Buck are heading to the airport, Buck just has to ask. “Ok, I understand Fuze, but what the hell does M.K mean?” 

Terry shakes his head and everyone laughs, “Do you seriously not know what M.K means? Were you living under a rock before this?” Blondie asks and when Buck wonders how he got the name Blondie, despite his brown almost black hair, he keeps that thought to himself as they venture off from Steve and Deon heading to the vantage point. 

“This topic is not relevant at the moment. Let me know when you get to the vantage point.” Steve redirects their attention and when Steve and Deon get a view of their target, he speaks again. “We see him, he’s getting ready to board. Buck, when your ready you will only have a twenty second window to take the shot before he boards the plane. Copy?” 

“Copy, Mad Dog.” Buck tries not to laugh at his Dad’s callsign and hopes his a lot cooler than that. 

Terry nudges his shoulder when they get to the vantage point, “You got this, kid.” 

Buck groans, “That is not my callsign.” He gets to the edge of the building and opens up his case holding his favorite sniper rifle. A McMillian tac-50C sniper rifle gives Buck the advantage he needs at the long distance. He lines his sights down the middle, looking through his scope and spots the target. He speaks into his comms back to his dad, voice low and focused, “I’m ready to take the shot on your call, Commander.”

Steve smiles, ready to see his son in action. He saw it on the training base and the impressed faces of his fellow trainees and instructors. Now it’s time for their team to be impressed with their youngest member. “You're clear to take the shot.” 

Buck takes a deep inhale and on the exhale he takes the shot. He watches through the scope as the bullet zips past the air and lands directly in the middle of the target’s head. A clean shot. “Threat neutralized, Commander.” Buck pulls away from the scope, takes a deep breath, and starts packing it up. He looks to Terry who is laying next to him, ready to take his shot if Buck missed. He in fact didn’t miss, and the man is clearly impressed. Buck smirks at him as he’s packing up, “How was that?” 

“That was fucking awesome, dude. Come on. I can’t wait to brag to everyone how awesome my new partner is.” Buck and Terry pack up their gear and meet back up with the team at the lookout house. 

Buck gets praises all around for his shot and Steve pats him on the back instead of the hug he wants to give, “I’m proud of you.” 

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Mad Dog.” Buck starts laughing again at the nickname and everyone else must agree at the ridiculous callsign cause they join in. Even Danny is doing his best to stifle a laugh.

Steve rolls his eyes and is glad to see a smile on Buck’s face, but their mission isn’t over until they’re on safe grounds back home. “Alright, alright, that’s enough. We aren’t out of here just yet. Let’s get to the extraction point and start heading home before he celebrate anything.” At Steve’s commander voice, everyone is quick to pack up leaving no evidence behind. 

The team treks, 20 klicks south of their previous location,  just outside the city. They take off and start talking about Buck’s impressive shot to Raiden and Zayne, who weren’t present. Buck doesn’t say anything, but enjoys listening to the praise, even if it is still a little overwhelming. Danny jumps from next to Steve to across the way to plop next to Buck, “We’re all impressed with your skills, but I know it can still be overwhelming for you.” Danny is quiet when he talks, not wanting to expose his son. 

Buck leans into Danny, his head resting on his shoulder. “I know you all mean well, but I don’t think that’s ever going to go away. Crappy Sixteen years and all.” 

Danny smiles softly at him, “No more of that. Your life is better now, no need to dwell on the past.” 

Buck will probably never stop thinking about his biologicals; there is permanent reminders after all. He doesn’t want to, but it’ll continue to nag in the back of his mind forever even when the good day out way the bad. “I know, easier said then done though.” He continues to lay on Danny’s shoulder the whole way back to California and even takes a little nap before being woken up gently. 

The Navy life won’t be easy just because this mission was, and he knows that. What will be easy, hopefully, is the family he creates with his new brothers and sister, and he can’t wait to spend the next several years creating that bond. Even if he is the youngest.

Chapter Text

Three weeks later and a few small recon missions, Buck and the team headed to Afghanistan to prepare for Buck’s first big mission. The team was dreading their trip, and Buck didn’t understand why, so they were quick to explain. “Because we’ll have to stay at an army base down there and the Army guys are a bunch of assholes. SEALs and Army don’t get along, and the fact that we will have to bunk in the same base as them is stupid.” Zay explains, getting louder so Steve can hear their protests. 

He turns in his seat from up front and looks to the team, “I know we don’t like the Army, but they’ve offered their space for us while we continue recon. This is the closest I can get, so suck it up.” Steve concludes and turns back in his seat, focusing on the road ahead. The team had started their journey from California to Afghanistan by plane, but to reach the base, they had to drive the rest of the way. 

Danny turns in his seat now, “May I remind you to be on your best behavior while we are here. They are allowing us to stay here, and we will respect them. Buck, since this is your first time dealing with the Army, please stay close to someone while we’re here. Don’t venture off on your own.” Danny eyes Buck, knowing he doesn’t usually treat him like the kid he still is, but this is serious and some of these Army men can be real shitheads and pick on Buck just because he’s young. 

Buck nods once, understanding that there is a certain demeanor when Danny asks him to stay close to the team, and he wonders what happened the last time they had to share a base, or why SEALs and the Army never get along. He has a lot of questions, but he chooses not to ask them and watches out the window as the base comes into view. The next thing he knows, they’re walking through the base to their respective area. Buck was hanging back, looking around, but making sure he stayed close to Zay as he was his buddy in the system; they had to keep Buck safe. 

He continues to look around when he bumps into someone, and the papers they were holding go all over the floor. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Buck is quick to kneel down and start picking up the guy's papers while he stands there, shocked. 

“You're apologizing? Why?” The guy asks incredulously as he kneels to help pick up his papers. 

“What do you mean, why? I bumped into you and then knocked your papers to the ground. I’d be a dick if I didn’t help you pick them up.” Buck explains weirdly, wondering why the guy is getting defensive.

“I just didn’t think someone like you would be apologizing for bumping into me.” 

Buck scoffs and looks up to hand the papers to the guy when they make eye contact. Buck’s eyes linger all over the man’s body and facial expression, but more importantly, he looks down at his uniform and finds out he’s in the Army. An Army Medic to be exact, “Because I’m a SEAL and you're in the Army? What difference does it make? I still ran into you, and all your stuff is either crumpled or covered in dirt because of me. So,” Buck pauses in his rant, looking for the guy’s name and finds a last name velcroed on his right peck. “Diaz, I don’t know what the whole feud is between the two military branches, but I have no part in it, and if I did something wrong, I’m going to apologize for it. Feud be damned.” Buck hands the rest of the papers to Diaz and starts to walk off when the guy gently grabs his hand, stopping him from going any further. 

Diaz sighs heavily, he let his team get in his head, and he needs to right it. “I’m sorry. I was told SEALs are ruthless assholes, and I listened, but you're not like that.” Diaz trails off, staring deep into the SEAL's eyes, and they are as blue as the ocean, and he honestly wants to take a dive with how beautiful they are. He shakes his head out of it and releases his grip from the man’s hand, and holds out a handshake instead. “I’m Eddie, by the way, and I’m sorry for the rude welcome.” 

Buck smiles at the change in attitude, “It’s nice to meet you, Eddie. I don’t know what the feud is, but you're pretty…nice… pretty nice.” Buck rubs the back of his neck, getting lost in Eddie’s dark chocolate brown irises and his perfect skin and plump lips. 

Eddie ducks his head to hide his smile and growing blush. “Well, uh fuck the feud then, right? We can go Romeo and Juliet.” The SEAL gives him a weird look like he doesn’t know what that is, so Eddie elaborates. “It’s Shakespeare. My sister is into it. I didn’t get your name.” Eddie quickly changes topics again, reminding the handsome man of a key part of introductions. 

Buck chuckles before finally holding out his hand to Eddie, “I’m—” Buck is cut off when he hears Zay calling his name. “Buck?!” 

Eddie chuckles, looking past the man to a much taller man with jet black hair calling to him. “Your Buck?” Eddie assumes a smile brighter when the man looks flustered, nodding in confirmation. 

“Yeah, I-I’m Buck.” He looks to Zay and then back at Eddie, “Well, I should probably go before he freaks out too much, but I will see you around, Eddie.” Buck gives his signature smile and waves to Eddie before turning and running to catch up with Zay. “Hey, I’m sorry. I got distracted by everything, and…” He turns to look at Eddie one last time before focusing on Zay and his smirk. “I’m sorry.” 

Zay shakes his head fondly and follows Buck’s gaze to the Army medic, finally turning the other way when Zay looks at him. He slings his arm over Buck’s shoulder, “It’s fine, Buck. I know you're curious, but be careful. Some of these Army guys can be very rude, we weren’t just saying that to scare you.” Zay looks back at the Army man’s retreating form. 

“The medics aren’t too bad, though, just be careful and maybe keep between us that you made a friend with an Army medic.” Zay nudges Buck’s shoulder when he smiles fondly at him, and in the short time Buck has been on the team, Zayne has taken a liking to the kid and even gossips about him to his boyfriend when he has time to FaceTime. 

The way Buck was looking at the Army medic, though, it reads he might like him more than friends, and that would be ok if Buck wasn’t still a minor on a base full of men way older than him. “Just remember you're still seventeen and all of these people around us are older than you and might take advantage of you. That’s our biggest concern. Just keep that in mind, and come on. The team is waiting for us.” Zayne and Buck enter the tent, and Steve glances between the two of them before starting their debrief on their roles while on base. 

Eddie was still watching as Buck and another SEAL walked away when he ran into one of his friends, Jay. “Hey, sorry. I was a little distracted,” 

“It’s fine, man. Did you see the SEALs? They didn’t cause any trouble, did they, Eddie? You're still the youngest member on base, although I heard the SEALs might have us beat with a minor. That’s crazy, right?” Jay rambles on about a potential minor on base, and Eddie almost wonders if it was Buck. Guess he’ll have to wait to ask him the next time they bump into each other. 

---------------------------

A Few Days Later

The next time Eddie and Buck see each other, it’s in the most obvious way possible when Buck’s team enters the medtent, all with cuts, bruises, and some worse off than others. One of the other medics takes the guy with a bullet wound in his abdomen while Eddie scans the room for Buck, and cleans and stitches the cuts on some other members of the team. The guy that Buck was with when they first bumped into each other, locks eyes with Eddie and nods over to the outside of the tent, and the arguments following outside in Buck’s voice and someone else's. Eddie finishes the last of the stitches and heads closer to the tent to hear the conversation. “Buck, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.” 

Buck protests, and Eddie hears how upset he sounds, “He’s my partner, I’m supposed to protect him, not let him get shot!” 

A new voice speaks up, just as calm as the last one, no matter how mad Buck gets, “Buck, this is your first time dealing with one of your teammates being badly hurt, but Steve is right. He is going to be ok, and you would know that if you let one of the medics clean you up inside. You would see that he’s going to be ok.” The conversation pauses, but picks up again. “Sadly, we’ve all been shot at least once, and we’ve all made it out alive as well.” Eddie stops listening and grabs a go kit, having a hunch that Buck isn’t going to head inside for treatment. He was right when Buck spoke up again, sounding like he was holding back tears. “I know I should probably act better about the situation, and I know things like this are going to happen, but I’m fine. I don’t need to get cleaned up, and I don’t want to see him right now. I’m going to go find somewhere to breathe.” Buck essentially walks off, and as two men step into the medtent, one, Eddie Diaz, steps out, trying to figure out which way Buck went. 

Buck is sitting in the dining area where he can rest his pounding head on his elbow and tries to remember that his parents are right. Things like this happen in this field of work, and he has to learn to be ok with it or at least prevent it from happening again. He doesn’t notice, however, when someone sits across from him. “You ok?” Buck looks up at the familiar voice and smiles slightly at Eddie in front of him. 

“Shouldn’t you be helping my team clean up their injuries?” Buck throws instead, but kind doesn’t want Eddie to leave. 

“I am.” He pulls out his med kit and sets it on the table, opening it up. “I already helped those willing to let me help them, and a few other medics are working on your bullet-wounded friend.” 

Buck rolls his eyes at the medkit, “I don’t need medical attention, I’m fine. Just a headache and a few scrapes and bruises, nothing I can’t handle.” Buck lays one of his hands down, and it happens to be the one that has a scar running down the forearm. 

Eddie glances at it, but doesn’t say anything yet. Saving it for a later time when he knows Buck doesn’t have a concussion. “I just want to make sure you don’t have a concussion. Please?” Eddie gives Buck a look that makes his cheeks flush pink as he tilts his head down and nods slowly. Eddie sits next to Buck and starts doing a concussion test. “Can you tell me what happened? Or is this top secret?” 

“I can’t tell you what the mission is about, but we got ambushed looking for someone. It’s the whole reason we’re staying here on an Army base in the first place.” Buck attempts not to look in Eddie’s eyes as the man continues his test. 

“Well, you don’t have a concussion, but if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to clean up some of this blood off you. You looked like you got in a fight.” 

Buck shrugs, “I’ve had worse, but whatever floats your boat.” Eddie fondly shakes his head and wonders how serious Buck is being about ‘having worse’, but again he works on cleaning Buck’s cut on his head first with practiced ease and resists with every inch of his body not to close the short distance with a kiss. 

Eddie finishes cleaning, sanitizing, and bandaging Buck’s cuts and notices a red splotch under Buck’s right eyebrow. He brushes over it, thinking it’s blood he missed, but nothing is on his hand, and when he looks at Buck, he’s got a major blush and a shit-eating grin. “What?” 

Buck shakes his head fondly, “It’s a birthmark, but that was cute.” Buck shakes his head again and resumes laying his head on the table. “Thanks for checking on me.” 

Eddie gets up, and Buck must think he’s leaving, but then he sits back down across from Buck. “I’m not leaving you. I kind of heard you yelling outside the tent. I know it can be hard seeing someone you care about get hurt, but sadly, bullet wounds are just part of the job.” 

“Have you–” Buck trails off, but Eddie understands him nonetheless. 

“No, I haven’t, but I’ve seen some of my friends get shot. It’s not fun and it sucks when you can’t really do anything, but he’ll be ok. It didn’t hit any major organs, and after some serious rest, he’ll be right back by your side. You SEALs are indestructible, anyway.” That elicits a laugh out of Buck, and Eddie follows suit, glad he got the man to smile. “I like it when you smile. You should do it more often.” 

“I’ve done it more in the last two years than all my life, so I will definitely be doing it more if I get to see you.” Buck smiles softly at Eddie, that same smile he gave the man when they locked eyes only a few days ago. 

“I like seeing you around, too.” Eddie smiles and then curiosity gets the best of him and he asks, “So, there’s this rumor going around that the SEALs brought a minor to the Army base, and I was wondering if that was you.” Eddie asks nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Is that a problem? You know, just because I’m—” Buck stops when Eddie throws his hands up in surrender. 

“Woah, woah, woah, I’m not mad at you for being a minor. I’m sure you have your reasons. I was just wondering. I would never be mad at you because of your age. How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking.” Eddie quickly defends, understanding it’s a sensitive topic now. 

Buck deflates, “It’s just,” Buck trails off, remembering his dad’s words. “ I don’t ever want you to hide your age, but sometimes when we have to go to other bases. Maybe it’s better just to tell them you're eighteen. I’d hate for something bad to happen to you.” “My dad told me not to tell people my real age, that they might take advantage of me because of how young I am, but if I tell you, you have to promise you're not going to say it to anyone else. Promise me, Eddie.” Buck holds out his pinky finger to Eddie. “I should tell you, these mean a lot to me.” 

Eddie looks carefully at Buck’s pinky and smiles, as if he already seems to trust Eddie with something as important to him as his age. “I promise, Buck. I would never break your promises.” Eddie meets Buck’s finger in the middle and interlocks their fingers together for the promise to be sealed. Eddie waits with bated breath for Buck to tell him his true age. 

Buck takes a deep breath and leans forward in his seat, closer to Eddie, like he’s sharing this life-altering secret. “I’m seventeen. I actually just turned 17, five months ago.” Buck sits back and watches Eddie’s facial expression carefully. It changes sporadically, but he finally settles on understanding. 

“That’s cool. I understand why your dad would want you to be safe. Some of these Army guys are actually assholes, so I understand your reasoning. Thank you for trusting me with this, and I think we’re going to be great friends.” Eddie smiles softly at Buck and wonders a little bit why his dad would let him be in the military if he wasn’t even 18 yet, but he doesn’t need to know right now as he soaks up the presence of Buck and the fond look in his eyes. This is going to be a great friendship and maybe something more when he’s older. “I’m 19, by the way, but I guess I’m not the youngest member anymore, huh?” Eddie comments, and Buck laughs again, shining that million-dollar smile at Eddie like he hung the moon and stars. If he wasn’t already gone for this man, he is now. 

2 Weeks Later

Two weeks have passed, and Eddie and Buck are closer than ever. They spend every waking moment together, to the point that eventually his dad finally asked where he was spending all his free time. “It’s fine, Dad. It’s just a friend, a really good friend.” 

“That doesn’t answer my question, Evan. Who is he?” They were walking back from a meeting where his Dad and Danny were pretty close to catching the guy who had kept them in an Army base for the past three weeks. Everyone was complaining about it, except for Buck, and his dad, in his commander tone, had to know why. 

Buck rolls his eyes and glances at Zay, who shakes his head as the only person who knows exactly where he runs off to. “He’s an Army medic, ok. And he’s really nice, and he’s the closest person to my age other than Terry and Cae. Instead of being 4 and 5 years apart from me, like they are, he’s only two years older than I am. So you can stop with the commander tone. I’m still doing my job and I’m staying safe, I trust him.” Buck crosses his arms and stands his ground with his dad. Danny, who is standing next to Steve, starts laughing. 

“What are you laughing about?” Steve hits him on the arm to get him to stop. 

Danny just shakes his head, “I just forgot that he’s still a kid and he wants to hang out with the only person close to his age that isn’t in his inner circle. It’s the only way he can still feel like a kid. As long as he’s being safe, he knows how to handle himself, and we’ve taught him well. He’s fine, Steve.” Danny pats him on the shoulder and nods for Buck to go meet up with Eddie. 

“I wasn’t going to tell him no, I just forgot he’s a kid too. That’s all.” Steve follows Evan’s movements as he walks further and further away from them. 

Eddie was finishing up his chores when his favorite person in the whole world, other than his son, came running into the med tent like he was in pain or danger. “Hey, Buck. Are you ok?” 

Buck chuckles when he sneaks up behind him and jumps on his shoulders. “I’m fine, Eddie. I’m great, actually. Just waiting on you.” 

“Well, I’m sorry to keep you waiting. How was your meeting?” Eddie loves every moment he gets to hang out with Buck, but they're both so busy that when they can, they make sure every moment counts. 

“It was good, Steve and Danny are both confident that the next time we go out, it should be the day we finally get this guy. Oh, and I finally told them I was hanging out with you.” 

“I didn’t realize I was a secret.” Eddie finishes his report and walks out with an arm slung over Buck’s shoulder. 

He rolls his eyes and sighs, “It’s not like that, Eddie. I just didn’t know how they would feel with you being in the Army, but being a medic helps. Are we going to our usual spot?” Buck asks, but he already knows the answer. It’s the same spot they go to every time they talk. It’s on the edge of the base where the only lighting is the stars in the sky, which, to Eddie, can never compare to Buck’s smile when it comes to brightness level. 

“Of course we’re going to our spot, where else would we go?” Buck just shrugs as they take their seats in the back of the truck, leaning their backs against the truck bed. Eddie has learned a lot about Buck in the short time they’ve known each other, such as the fact that, unlike Buck’s age, he tends to get anxious about small things that most SEALs would never let bother them. Buck, of course, does, and Eddie likes that about him because it means he pays attention to most details people would miss. He only understood that more when he found out Buck was adopted by his commander because of his ‘shitty parents’. Eddie didn’t like the fact that Buck never elaborated on the level of their shittiness, because Eddie’s parents are shitty, but they still love him. Eddie’s not sure Buck had it the same way though, and it worried him sometimes. Eddie nudges his shoulder when Buck gets quiet, “Are you ok? You seem kind of nervous about this mission.” 

Buck sighs and lays his head on Eddie’s shoulder. Something Eddie notices he does quite a lot, almost like he craves the physical intimacy only certain people might be able to give him, and Eddie gets the privilege of being one of those lucky people. “It’s just, this mission scares me, Eddie. It’s my first real big mission, and it’s important. If something goes wrong or I panic and someone gets hurt, I’ll have failed my parents, who have trusted me with such a significant role on their team. I feel honored, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like the pressure is on. Plus, they might know how strong I am, but I’m still their kid. There will always be hesitation every time we go on a mission. I don’t think that’s ever going to go away.” Buck leans his head against the window of the truck bed and looks up at the stars. “I love when we come out here. It’s just you, me, and the stars. It’s perfect.” 

You're perfect, Eddie feigned to say. His brain-to-mouth filter was almost nonexistent with Buck, but after finding out he’s a minor, he has to be careful until he’s old enough. “You're going to be fine, Buck. I know you're worried, but you’ve been on a mission before, right?” Buck nods and Eddie continues, “And your dad handled it well then, right?” Another nod and roll of his eyes, but Eddie continues with a smile. “Plus, it sounds like your dad already knows how much you deserve to be on his team. He might be protective, but he loves you, I can see it, and I know you can too. You say you might not like how he’s overprotective, but have you seen it from his perspective? You said he was there with you before adoption and helped you through a lot of things, so he might be worried, but he knows what you're capable of, and he believes in you. Now it’s time for you to believe in yourself.” Eddie nudges Buck’s shoulder, and he smiles again. 

“When did you get so wise?” Buck jokes, but Eddie’s words hit him with a better understanding of his parents and everything they’ve done for him. 

Eddie throws his shoulder behind Buck’s arm, pulling him close. “I was just made that way, Buck. I was just made that way. Plus, having a kid and being the oldest sibling helps too.” He sighs contentedly and enjoys the presence and peace Buck brings him. The moments they spend together, no matter how long or short it is, Eddie enjoys every second of it. It reminds him that just because they are surrounded by chaos and war, as long as they have each other, everything can be normal for a blissful couple of hours of peace. “Have I mentioned how much I love this? Getting to know you and having a friend in this base, it’s nice.” 

Buck smiles sleepily; he really could fall asleep in Eddie’s arms. Their time together has never been this intimate before, but Buck isn’t complaining one bit. “A few times, yeah. I love it all too, Eddie, but don’t you do this with Jay? I know you guys are friends.” 

Eddie hears right through Buck’s insecurities. Another thing Eddie has picked up on since they’ve started hanging out, but he’s quick to push those insecurities away. “No, Buck. Jay and I are co-worker friends. We don’t really hang out outside of doing our work. You're the only person I’ve wanted to have a real connection with and the only person I would take to my spot.” Eddie resists the urge to kiss Buck’s head as it snuggles further on his shoulder. “I’m glad you're getting comfortable,” Eddie whispers to Buck and looks up at the stars, glad the night sky is hiding his blush. 

Buck hmms before giving a proper response, “I am comfortable, and thanks for saying that.” Buck sits up a little more and looks at Eddie more directly before he says the next part. “Why did you say we were like Romeo and Juliet? They die, Eddie. Both of them. Do you think we’re going to die, cause that’s pretty dark.” 

Eddie full-on belly laughs at Buck’s abrupt change of topic, but when he isn’t laughing, Eddie reels back and explains his reasoning. “Because we are,” Star-crossed lovers is the first thing that Eddie comes to mind, but instead he says, “on different sides of the track, and we get along better than any SEAL and Army combo before us. It’s poetic.” 

“And romantic. That’s Romeo and Juliet. It’s a star-crossed lovers' story. Proving that love doesn’t get in the way of anything, and because Shakespeare is a psychopath, he made it a tragedy, and they died before they could have their happy ending. Are you saying we’re star-crossed lovers, Eddie? Because if we are, our tragic death will bring the feuds to an end.” Buck falls dramatically to the floor of the bed like he died in a play and then comes back to life, laughing his ass off. 

Eddie laughs too at Buck’s theatre dramatics, “You're ridiculous. Perhaps we are, but there are no feuds between families or tragic deaths in our story. Just two people from different sides of the military branches that may or may not be together one day.” Eddie mumbles more to himself, but Buck comes back to his spot next to Eddie and hears it. 

He looks at Eddie with a touch of softness in his eyes that Eddie has never seen before, “You would want that with me?” 

Eddie puts his arm back around Buck and tugs him in more, “Of course I would. I told you about my sexuality and that Shannon isn’t in the picture anymore, and you told me about how you haven’t had a relationship to really know how you feel. Plus, you're a minor right now. I wasn’t saying right this second, but maybe one day we could be.” Eddie leaves it at that, as Buck seems to take in his words before almost falling asleep in Eddie’s arms. Buck had told Eddie that he doesn’t get that much sleep, so when he nods off for a little bit in Eddie’s arms, he’s never going to wake him up unless it’s absolutely necessary.

A couple of hours later, Eddie wakes Buck up so he can go to sleep in his own tent. “Do you want me to walk you back?” 

Buck sits up groggy and rubs his eyes before answering, “No, I’m alright. I’m just going to crash when I get back anyway. See you later, Eddie.” Buck slides off, and they both head in the same direction to reach their tents. However, they soon arrive at a crossroads, and Eddie turns right, heading further into the base, while Buck turns left, heading to the outskirts of the base by the dining tent. Buck is sluggishly walking back to his tent, which he shares with Zay, when he accidentally runs into another Army guy he’s only seen around a handful of times. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m tired and—” Buck trails off when he notices the guy checking him out. 

“Oh, it’s no big deal.” He takes a step closer to Buck, and Buck steps back. “I’m not going to bite, I can help you. Are you lost?” 

“No, um, my tent is just down here. Thanks, though.” Buck really tries to be polite and starts to step aside to let the guy get to his tent, but the man follows his movements and steps in front of him once again. 

He shakes his head and crosses his arms to seem bigger, “I don’t think so. You know, I heard that there was this minor on base with the SEALs. That isn’t you, is it?” Buck shakes his head, but the man doesn’t look like he is taking no for an answer. “Well, that doesn’t really matter.” The man takes a giant step forward to Buck before he can back away again and grabs his shirt, pulling their faces inches away. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” 

“Please, don’t touch me.” Buck pulls the guy's hand away from his cheek, but the man grabs his wrist and drags him into the nearest tent, which is the dining area. It’s empty at the moment. 

“I’ll do whatever I want with you,” He mumbles into Buck’s ear and pushes him against one of the counters that normally holds food, but is now empty. His other hand grabs hold of Buck’s neck, pushing him back. “What should we start with first? I think we should just get right into it. Don’t you?” He lets go of Buck’s wrist and slides his hand down to his pants and grabs at his clothed dick. 

This gets Buck going, knowing he is not about to let this man do this to him. He pushes the man off of him and kicks him in the groin, stumbling back, but recovering quickly. Buck tries to take the moment to head out of the tent and get to safety, but the man grabs the back of his hair and tugs him back, causing him to yelp. “Ow, let me go.” Buck struggles and throws his hand back to fight the guy's face, but nothing is budging, so in a desperate hope that Eddie isn’t too far away, he calls him. “Eddie!” The man quickly covers his mouth, but Buck bites him. The man slaps him and he’s brought back to his dad, slapping him across the face so hard, he hits the floor, before the man grabs his hair again and drags him to the nearest table. He shoves Buck against the table, his stomach lying on the table and his back facing the man. He still has a firm grip on his hair when Eddie comes barging in. 

The sight Eddie saw when he heard Buck yell his name was not what he was expecting. “What the hell are you doing?! Get off of him, you pervert.” Eddie comes over, pulling the guy up, but he still has a grip on Buck’s hair, bringing them both back up to a standing position. Eddie tries to ignore the death grip the man has on Buck’s hair and instead focuses on getting him away. 

Turns out Eddie didn’t have to when Buck springs into action again, kicking his legs back and hitting the man in the groin enough for him to let go of Buck’s hair and Eddie to spring into action too. Grabbing Buck by the already bruised wrist and pulling him behind him. “Are you ok?” Eddie gives a medic eye to Buck’s trembling form before focusing his attention back on the man who is recovering. “You stay the hell away from him, Jerry. I’ll be telling Commander Sting about this.” Eddie starts to leave with Buck before Jerry yells and charges at them. Eddie pushes Buck further away and starts fighting him as Buck idly watches. 

Buck wants to stop the fight so Eddie doesn’t get hurt, but he seems to be doing well. Until he gets punched in the face, “Eddie!!” Buck yells his name, but he has no strength to move in and help. So, when his prayers are answered and his dad runs in to look at the situation, he knows he’s going to help. “Dad, help Eddie.” Buck breaths out, and his dad looks hesitant, but then calls in Danny to be there for Buck while he watches his dad pull the men apart and stand between them. 

“What the fuck is going in here?!” Steve yells, glancing between Eddie, who is sporting only one giant bruise on his face, the man with a bloody nose, and much more, and his son, trembling in fear. 

Eddie speaks up first, “I don’t know exactly what happened, but when Buck called my name, Jerry had Buck over the table and holding him by his hair. It looked bad, but then Buck kicked Jerry off of him, and I managed to get Buck away from him. However, he became angry and wanted to fight, so we ended up fighting. I was just keeping Buck safe, sir.” Eddie also makes a second glance at Buck, and they lock eyes, and all Eddie sees is pure fear. It makes him want to knock Jerry out. 

Steve might beat him to it when he shoves the man into a table, “How dare you touch him? He is a child. You have no right to touch him, and you better not even breathe near him again. I’ll be speaking to your commander tomorrow and will ensure you receive the proper punishment for your actions tonight. Now. Get. Out!” Steve yells and points to the door, then continues to watch as he leaves the tent. As soon as his retreating form is no longer in sight, he kneels down in front of his son. “Are you ok?” 

Buck looks hesitant to give his dad a reasonable explanation, but shrugs as he glances at Eddie again. “I wouldn’t have if Eddie didn’t come, but I’ll be ok.” 

Steve looks at Eddie and then back at Buck, “Commander Sting might need to talk to you about what happened tonight and exactly what he did, but that will happen tomorrow. Tonight, I think you should sleep in the tent with us. We have the extra bed. Danny, will you help him get to our tent?” Danny nods and pulls Buck up, but before they leave, he runs over to Eddie and pulls him in for a hug. 

“Thank you, Eds.” He mumbles into Eddie’s neck, and both of their grips get tighter at the implications tonight could’ve brought. He cups Eddie’s cheeks when he pulls back, knowing the man is blaming himself already, “It’s not your fault, ok? It is not your fault.” He repeats it a few more times like a mantra and hugs Eddie again before going with Danny. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Danny and Buck leave while Steve looks at Eddie. 

“Thank you for being there for him, but if he’s going to continue to hang out with you, do not leave him alone again. Am I understood?” 

Eddie nods, “Yes, sir. It won’t happen again.” 

“Good,” Steve walks out of the tent and back into his own, seeing Buck sitting on the bed, looking lost in space. “Evan,” Buck looks up with unshed tears in his eyes, and Steve is quick to embrace his son. “He won’t touch you again, I promise. He’ll be dealt with in the morning.” He and Danny share knowing looks that Buck quickly picks up on. 

“He didn’t do anything, not really. I’ll be ok, so whatever you're thinking, it’s not Eddie’s fault. I told him I would be fine walking back.” 

They look at each other again before Steve speaks up. “That’s not— I don’t blame Eddie. I blame myself. This is why I told you to be careful around them, because they don’t care. The Army are assholes just because, but we are considered assholes because of the things that they do. Because they can’t keep their slimy hands off my team. I won’t have it happen again! So you think I’m being overprotective? Well, not this time. I am being the perfect amount of protective because I refuse to have it happen to my son.” He looks at Danny in angry tears, “And I will not be told otherwise.” Steve huffs and walks out of the tent, flopping on the bench right outside. 

“What did I do? Did I do something wrong?” Buck asks, tearing up and looking toward where his dad exited. 

Danny pulls Buck closer to him and kisses him on the head, “You didn’t do anything, Buck. About four years ago, a similar incident occurred with a team member who was approximately the same age as you. They weren’t so lucky to be saved like you were, and we couldn’t help them because they didn’t tell us until long after we left that base. Steve always blamed himself even after they died. He swore he would never let that happen again, and to see you tonight in almost a similar situation, he just got scared. I’m going to go talk to him, but I want you to get some rest. Or at least try.” He gets Buck settled in bed before heading outside to his husband, pacing back and forth. He stops his movements and pulls him for a crushing hug. “He’s going to be ok, this isn’t like last time.” 

“But it could’ve been!! If Eddie didn’t come and save him, he would’ve—” Steve trails off, tears streaming down his face. 

“I know what would’ve happened, but it didn’t, and you want to know why? It was because Buck called for help, and it was because our son fought back enough for someone to save him. If he didn’t fight back, worse things would’ve happened to him before Eddie could show up. He fought back, though, something they didn’t do, and we were able to keep him safe. We knew when he was on our team that things like this were possible, so we made sure Buck was prepared, and we will continue to ensure Buck is prepared. We kept him safe and strong, and he is ok.” Danny kisses his husband and holds him close for a few minutes before they head inside to see Buck already asleep.

They get ready for bed and get snuggled into the tiny bed before Steve speaks up again as he watches Buck sleep. “When he had that nightmare before I decided to adopt him, I watched him sleep a couple of nights after, knowing that one day he would need me to protect him from his demons. There's something so calming about watching your child sleep. It comforts me in a way I didn’t know I needed until that first night. I will always be scared for him, Danny. I’ve accepted that, but I won’t be able to handle it if something like that were to happen to him. I won’t be able to do it.” 

Danny whispers back, holding him tight. “It won’t come to that. We’ll protect him just like we always do.” Danny and Steve don’t sleep well that night, but if they spend their night cuddled together and watching their son get peaceful sleep, then that’s no one’s business, but their own. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, as promised, Buck and his dad go and talk to Commander Sting about Jerry’s behavior toward Buck. He was still a little shaken up, but with his dad by his side and the Commander promising to punish Jerry accordingly, he was ok with retelling the events word for word. He had no reason to lie, and after Buck left to spend time with the team today, he knew his dad was chewing Commander Sting out for it almost happening again. 

What Buck didn’t enjoy was explaining to the team what had happened last night, and Zay was ready to scold Eddie for leaving Buck behind. “He didn’t leave me behind, Zay. He kept me safe when I called for him.” 

“You shouldn’t have had to call him, Buck. He should’ve been walking you back to the tent safe and sound. Nothing would’ve happened if he had just walked you to your tent.” 

“I don’t need this from you, too, Zay. I didn’t tell you guys to treat me like a kid. Dad and Danny already do that enough. I told you because you're my team, my family, and you deserve to know, but if you were going to yell at Eddie for leaving me unattended like I’m five, then I’m going to go find something else to do.” Buck was about to storm away from his team when his sniper partner, Terry, stopped him. 

“Buck,” He holds Buck’s wrist and glances at Zay. “Zay is just protective of you, like we all are. You’re like our younger brother, and I know we might not be used to it, but we do love you, and we’re just worried. You have to know some of us were here the first time it happened. They could’ve come to us, but they didn’t. You did and you fought back, right?” 

Buck gave Terry a half-smile, “Yeah, I did.” He looks to his team and Zay, defending Eddie once again. “I fought back, but if Eddie didn’t come, I wouldn’t have been able to hold him off for much longer. I’m not going to stop seeing Eddie and Dad, who talked to him last night after I ended up sleeping in their tent last night. I’m sure he knows never to let something like that happen again.” Buck looks at his team and then pulls Zay and Terry, the ones closest to him, in a group hug before the rest of the team joins in. Even Raiden, who was listening in the back, joined as well. They all loved Buck in their way, and he was quickly learning how much they would truly do for him. Raiden was more like an uncle than a brother, but he was the wisest person, aside from his parents, and always had something important to tell Buck. 

Although Terry was his sniper partner, Buck got along better with Zay, which is why his approval of Eddie was everything to Buck. Zay’s boyfriend, Drew, took a liking to him as well and basically adopted Buck, too. Zay had all the answers to Buck’s curiosities, and his boyfriend helped as well. They helped him understand the feelings he had toward Eddie and why they were so intense. He doesn’t know his sexuality cause he hasn’t exactly had any relations with anyone, even when he was in high school, but he knows he likes Eddie, and that’s enough. He also knows their relationship can’t really happen until Buck is eighteen, which is only seven months away. Buck learned more about Zay, too, like when he found out he wasn’t the only one with shitty bio parents, except Zay’s were neglectful and weren’t parents, while Buck’s bio parents, well, let’s say he wishes they weren’t there for him. Zay was adopted by his aunt and uncle, who were like stupidly rich. 

He related to Buck on a more personal level, and it bonded them. 

Buck ended up spending most of the day with the team, whether it was mandatory or not. However, when he figured out they were leaving for their mission the next day, Buck needed to see Eddie one last time. After dinner and chores around the base, he met up with Eddie again. This time, Eddie was waiting for him. “It’s interesting, me waiting on you now,” Eddie smirks as Buck walks past him, most likely about to head to the med tent before Eddie surprises him. 

“Hey, Eddie.” Buck grabs Eddie’s hand and drags him to their spot, needing to talk about the mission ahead. 

“Is everything ok?” Eddie asks as they plop onto the sandy area away from the trucks. 

“No, we’re leaving out tomorrow for the big mission, and it’s so big, they’re bringing in a few more SEALs for extra backup. This is getting scary, Eddie. I’m scared.” He pointed a finger at Eddie before, “Don’t tell my dad I said that.” He brings his hand down when he smirks at him, like it’s something he would actually do. Eddie would help him hide a body if Buck asked, but also would his entire team. “He’ll pull me for sure if he knew how scared I was. This guy is terrible news, Eddie. I wish I could tell you about him, but I can’t.” Buck lies his head on Eddie’s lap, and the man accepts his body being used as a pillow, and his fingers run through Buck’s curls in comfort.

“Buck, everything is going to be ok. I know you’re scared, but you are the strongest SEAL I know. I know you don’t think it’s true, but it is. This is your time to prove to everyone, to yourself, how strong you truly are, and I know you’re going to do great.” 

Buck looks up at Eddie with a touch of softness only reserved for the man who stole his heart. “Thanks, Eds. You know just what to say.” They hold each other for a while before Buck thinks about what’s in store for them once Buck leaves Eddie’s base. That was always the plan, for Buck’s team to finish their mission and head back to their base. Buck wasn’t ready for the former, much less the latter. “As much as I hate to say it, this isn’t forever. We work in different branches. Our friendship is only temporary. Did you forget that part?” Buck speaks his mind, hoping Eddie has the right words to say. 

Eddie moves so that Buck will sit up, and they sit criss-cross in front of each other, but Buck doesn’t make eye contact with Eddie, upset that their time together is slowly coming to an end. “Our friendship is not temporary, our time is temporary, but not our friendship. I believe we’ll still see each other around. Plus, I don’t move around a whole lot unless some team is in danger. You're the one who moves around.” Eddie nudges Buck’s shoulder and tilts his chin up to look at him directly. “We will always make our way back to each other, Buck, I promise.” Eddie lets go of Buck’s chin only to hold out his pinky for Buck to take. He does, and another promise is built between two friends. 

Eddie swore on everything to keep that promise.

Eddie and Buck are still looking deeply into each other’s eyes, pinkies still locked on Eddie’s promise that Buck wants to believe he’ll keep, but it’s hard when their job is undeniably unpredictable. For a second of blissful peace, Buck glances down at Eddie’s lips almost constantly, and Eddie smiles, but places his other finger on Buck’s lips. “We can’t. I told you I won’t date you until you’re eighteen.” Eddie recalls a conversation almost immediately after Eddie found out about Buck’s age. “You know how I feel about you and how you feel about me, but it’s not our time yet.” 

Buck sighs and presses his forehead to Eddie’s, and they share lingering breaths. Eddie Diaz was too good for Evan McGarrett, and he was pretty sure he didn’t deserve the kind of love he’s received since being in the military, but he gets proven wrong every time. “Just one. One little kiss to those perfect lips, and I’ll be ok leaving you for an unknown amount of time. You and I both know how unpredictable our job is, and I’m not going to die never knowing how our lips slot perfectly together. So please, Eds, just one—” Buck is swiftly cut off by Eddie’s plump lips slotting together like they should be. No lips should piece together perfectly like a puzzle piece like Eddie’s and Buck’s do. His hands go into Eddie’s hair to pull Eddie impossibly closer to him as Eddie’s hand snakes back behind Buck’s neck, deepening it more. This is the most passionate kiss Buck had ever experienced, but to be fair, Eddie is the first guy he’s ever kissed. Pretty good for his first time if he does say so himself. 

Eddie knew he shouldn’t have kissed Buck or continued to kiss Buck, as he still hasn’t found the urge to pull away. Instead, he pushes Buck to the sandy and dirty ground below them, climbs on top of him, and deepens the kiss further. His tongue slipped into Buck’s mouth, causing the man to moan below him. It’s a sight for sore eyes. Buck below him, kissing him just as passionately as Eddie is. It’s perfect. Too perfect to pull away from and let the man go into a war. He has to end it, and they have to come up for air. So he does pull away, just barely leaving enough space between them to breathe each other's air. “How’s that for your one kiss?” Eddie asks snarkily, between deep breaths. 

“Are you sure you can’t do it again?” Buck also asks in between breaths, hoping to commit the touches and deep, passionate kiss to memory. 

Eddie breathes out a laugh and shakes his head. This man, this boy, this underage hot mother fucker is going to be the death of him. “You are going to be the death of me, Evan McGarrett. The death of me.” Eddie leans down and kisses him again and again and a few more times, just for memory or whatever Buck wanted to do this in the first place for. “Is that enough for you, sir?” 

Buck shakes his head and pulls Eddie in again, sticking his tongue in for Eddie to let out a moan of pure pleasure before he pulls away again and rests his head on his hands, admiring Eddie on top of him. He ignores his dick hardening as Eddie is unintentionally grinding into him. They can’t go that far yet. Kissing is one thing, but his dad and the entire team will kill Eddie if he goes any further than he currently is. They might kill Eddie if they ever found out he kissed Buck at all. He finally sits up, he and Eddie inches apart, and smiles softly at his future husband, because let’s face it, that’s where it’s going one of these days. “It was perfect. I can’t wait to steal more moments with you when I get back. I am satisfied and I’ll have something to hold onto when I’m gone.” Buck gives Eddie one more peck on the lips before gently pushing Eddie off and resuming his spot on Eddie’s lap. “I know we're not there yet, and I’ve only had one kiss in my lifetime, and that was you, but I love you, Eddie. I know we have to wait, and you don’t have to say it back, but I do, I love you with every part of me. I want to be with you long after we're done here. Zay told me you only find love like that one time, and I really do think that it’s you.” Buck sits back up, but still keeps a close distance to Eddie as he finishes the rest of his speech. “I haven’t had a good life, Eddie, but I swear ever since I’ve joined the military, this team, everything is better. I have people who love me, people who will do almost anything for me, and finally, someone in my life whom I trust wholeheartedly with everything in my being. I’m not ready for this mission tomorrow, but I know how much you care and love me. It’s enough to keep me going. I know I’m going to be ok because of you.” 

Eddie is on the brink of tears at Buck’s speech and kisses him again just because he knows they’re alone. “I love you, too, Buck. I want to be a part of your life, learn more about you, and keep you safe. However, I also know just how much you’ve fought to get here. Everything you’ve been through, and I wish I were there for you through it all, but you had your dads and now your team. I know they’re going to protect you. I want everything with you, and I can’t believe I was your first kiss, but I feel so honored.” Eddie and Buck share a laugh, tears of joy and love welling up in their eyes. “I will wait for you, Buck. I’ll be here when you come back and every time you need someone to patch you up. I’m glad you talked me into that kiss because that is the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire existence, and I can’t wait to do it again and again until we’re no longer on this earth. You’re my everything, Ev. Just hold onto that for me, and you will get through whatever else you face without me.” Eddie and Buck stay in each other’s hold until Eddie has to bring Buck back to his tent. Learning from experience and the threat of Buck’s dad killing him, he walks Buck all the way to his tent. He may or may not leave a peck on Buck’s cheek before he heads to his own tent for the night. 

He does slightly tear up thinking about Buck going on his mission, which he’s scared for, but Eddie knows he’ll be ok. He’ll come back, maybe or maybe not unharmed, but most definitely alive. He has to be, cause Eddie isn’t going to live without Evan McGarrett in his life, now that he knows how his lips feel on his own. He rubs his thumb over his lips in a giddy teenage girl type of way, imagining Buck’s lips one last time before he succumbs to sleep. 

--------------------------

Buck’s first big mission is today. His team is supposed to bring in Seymour Anders, a man who needs to be taken alive, as he is the boss of an awful group of people. A big group of awful people stationed only about 30 klicks north of the base they’ve been stationed at for three weeks now. There is a need for extra help, as the only thing Buck’s team knows is where he’s located. They haven’t had the time to recon before this mission was set to take place, so as much as Steve hated to go in blind, they were going to have to make an exception. 

Eddie wasn’t ready to watch Buck go and quite possibly never come back, whether he was okay or not; Eddie wouldn’t know until he saw the man again. So when they head out today, Eddie is the first to say goodbye. “I’m going to miss you, but you’re going to do great. Just remember what I told you.” 

Buck was almost in full SEAL mode for his mission, but he softened a tad for Eddie. He gives the man a simple smile and pulls him into a hug as his team waits by the Humvee. “I’ll be ok and I won’t ever forget what happened and the short time we’ve spent together.” Buck kept his voice low as his words were only meant for Eddie’s ears. “We will see each other again, my love.” 

“Mi amor.” Eddie corrects, “That’s what it means in Spanish, and that we will mi amor.” Eddie places a gentle kiss on Buck’s cheek before pulling him away, keeping him at arm's length, now unable to fully separate himself from Buck. “I—” 

Buck smiles again. He doesn’t want Eddie to say it, whether that’s to tell him he loves him like they did last night or to tell him not to go because he’s unsure Buck will come back. Either way, Buck knows Eddie’s implications and his worries, because it's the same way he feels. The worst part is that if he allowed Eddie to say it, he would drop everything to keep Eddie sane, but he can’t. He can’t hear those words. “I know. See you later, Eds.” Buck pulls away from Eddie, having to be the strong one in the relationship right now, and runs to his team, waiting for him, some with knowing looks, others just as oblivious as the first time he laid eyes on Eddie Diaz. 

He’ll see him again, he has to. 

On the way to the location, Buck is sitting next to Zay, who leans in and whispers as quietly as humanly possible. How can someone in charge of bomb demolition be this fucking quiet? “You and Eddie aren’t together or anything, are you? Cause, may I remind you you’re still a minor and he could be dishonorably discharged for being in a relationship with a minor, much more for sex.” Buck glares at Zay before shaking his head no. “Good, I’m not getting in the way of love, I’m just keeping up your good reputation. I would hate for people to look at you differently just because you care more about your relationships than your career. That’s not true, right?” Buck shakes his head again. “Good. Now focus on the mission at hand, get him out of your head, and save all intimate moments for seven months in the future. Please, for the sake of your father and yourself.” Buck nods, taking a deep breath and locking himself in now that the team is almost arriving. He knows Zay is right, which is why their way-too-passionate kiss and exceeding the limit of one kiss was only a one-time thing until he turns 18. They know how they feel about each other, and they have to be willing to wait. He will not risk Eddie’s career for his feelings, and Zay is right on all points made. He has a career to focus on and to prove himself to his dads. Prove to everyone that he’s as strong as Eddie sees him. 

SEAL Team 6 arrives near the location, meeting up with a few other SEALs. Steve speaks above all of them in a quiet manner as Danny keeps watch. “Alright, SEAL Team 6, part of SEAL Team 4, listen up and listen well. We all already know our target is inside this building. We know what he looks like, but here is what we don’t know. Ghost is getting a head count on the people inside.” He looks at Cae while she’s working on her computer and holds up three fingers. Steve nods and looks back at the group. “Fuze, take Jakobs and scout around the area for any outsiders. Do not engage and radio back how many people guard the outside.” Zay and someone from SEAL Team 4 leave the group circling the perimeter for targets. “Blondie, and once Ghost is done, you two are the snipers. Take out anyone outside. We need a clear path in.” Terry waits by Cae for her to finish up the online sweep of the building 5 klicks in front of them as Buck continues to listen idly for his role since he’s not going with Terry or Zay like he has been bouncing with them for the recon missions. 

“M.K., Mass, Buck, Sanders, and Danny will be heading inside once we have an opening. The building is three stories with a basement as well. M.K. and Mass, you are in charge of the first floor and the basement area. Take anyone out who isn’t our target. Buck, Sanders, you two are taking the second floor, scout the area, and watch each other's backs.” The name Sanders sounds familiar, and when he slides up next to Buck with a knowing smirk, he remembers the name. Sanders is the guy from training. Buck trusts this man 100% to have his back. He was always supportive of Buck during training, no matter his age. He made him feel welcome, called the commander when Buck was screaming in his sleep, he’s pretty sure he’s also the guy from the run during training that encouraged him to beat Owen, one of the fastest trainees Buck has ever met, but he beat him that day with the encouragement of Cody? He still doesn’t remember his first name. 

“Buck?!” Steve calls Buck out of his trainee memories. “Are you ready?” 

Buck shakes his head clear as Sanders pats him on the back. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s do this.” Once the front entrance of the building is cleared, Buck and the rest of the team head inside. The plan is in motion, and Buck’s small partnership with an old trainee goes well. They’re checking the east side, opening all the doors in the building. He can only assume the place used to be an office building or something with the number of doors he’s opening. “Anything on your side?” 

“No, you?” 

“Empty. What if he’s not even here? That would be awful, right?” 

Sanders shrugs, looking around and checking for enemy activity. “Maybe it’s for the best. At least for now, right? So we’re all safe.” 

Buck gives Sanders a weird look, “He’s killed countless innocent people. Not finding him today means more people are probably going to die because we couldn’t stop him.” Buck continues looking in the rooms when he notices Sanders hasn’t moved. When Buck looks back in his partner’s direction, he’s just staring into the empty room. “Sanders? Is everything ok?” 

Buck gets closer, gun pointed in the direction of the seemingly empty room. “I knew you would be perfect.” 

Buck stops in his tracks at Sanders’s words. “What? Perfect for what?” 

Still staring down the room like it personally offended him, “Still think everything is black and white? Still think good guys are good guys and bad guys are bad guys? Well, the world isn’t so black and white. Hasn’t been for a while. The black sheep of the family ends up being the man who saves humankind, and the ugly duckling isn’t so ugly when you look on the outside, and maybe the hero isn’t as heroic as they seem. Don’t you think so, Buck?”

Buck is still frozen in his spot as his gun lowers slightly from the weight, but then he picks it back up, now aiming at his partner. “What are you talking about? Which one are you in this situation?” 

“I’m neither. Did you know that maybe all those fairytales you were told as a child aren’t real? Nothing is as beautiful as those fairytales make it out to be. The guy doesn’t get the girl, the evil witch doesn’t poof into a cloud of dust. Have you ever considered that heroes might be in the wrong? The prince doesn’t get the princess because she’s better off without a man, maybe the prince is a nasty fellow who couldn’t be trusted, and the sweet, innocent girl isn’t as innocent as they might seem.” He turns around to face Buck properly, noticing the gun pointed at him, but pays it no mind as he walks toward him slowly. 

“I love the person you are; it’s what makes me so intrigued by you. You are a seemingly innocent boy underneath that pesky SEAL mask, but you're not, are you? You have demons, dark ones. People who were supposed to love you have hurt you over and over again, and it sucks. You thought you could bury it, but you can’t. You need to release it.” Sanders continues to close the distance as Buck raises the gun higher, “I’m not your enemy, Evan. I’m your friend. I can help you achieve greatness, better than your team ever will.” He inches closer as he continues his proposition. “You might think of me as the enemy, but I’m not. My goal is to show you who you can be, rather than what you are now. Just put the gun down.” Sanders smiles as Buck seems to lower it before shaking his head.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to do or why you’re acting weird, but–” Buck reaches for his radio to alert the team of the suspicious behavior of an ally when someone behind him wraps his arms around Buck’s neck. 

“You won’t be doing that.” Sander rips off Buck’s radio, undoes his utility belt, and kicks the gun away as it had dropped on the floor. “You’ll change your mind soon enough if you know what’s good for you.” He looks to the man behind Buck and nods before a white cloth is wrapped around Buck’s mouth. He fights it, but the more he fights, the weaker he feels. Eventually, his body goes limp, and he’s thrown over the guy’s shoulders before darkness consumes him completely. “Alright, let’s get out of here. I would hate for us to have to break my father out of holding, all for him.” When the man holding Buck turns around to walk toward the exit, Sanders picks up Buck’s limp head and says, “You are going to do wonders for my operation. You just don’t know it yet.” 

Sanders and Buck are long gone before someone discovers his stuff abandoned on the hallway floor.

Chapter Text

Steve and Danny were the unlucky ones to run into Buck and Sanders, or where they should’ve been when they were coming downstairs. The mission was a failure. The man they were looking for was nowhere in sight, and on top of everything, Buck and Sanders are gone. “Steve, what is that?” Danny points down the hallway of the second floor, and Steve follows his gaze to the discarded items by one of the open doors. When Danny realizes that this is Buck and Sanders' spot to scout, he seriously regrets pulling Steve’s attention to the objects. “Steve, wait!!” Danny calls out as his husband sprints to the items. 

Steve sprints down the hallway when he’s reminded of who he had sent down the second floor. He slides next to the items like they’re home base on a baseball field, and his point is the final score to win the championships. He picks up the utility belt first, trying to recognize who it belongs to, when Steve notices the crushed radio and Buck’s favorite pistol sitting on the ground as well. “Fuck,” he mumbles to himself as Danny catches up to him. He grabs the pistol and shoves it in Danny’s face. “It’s fucking Buck’s. He took my goddamn son!!” 

Danny kneels next to his partner and comes to the sick realization as he stares at the gun in his hand. It’s the pistol Danny got him as a welcome gift to SEAL Team 6. He spotted Buck using one like it during training or in the gun range when he would steal Danny’s, so he finally got Buck one. He loved it, and it was a great bonding moment for the two of them. He pockets the gun behind him as he puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “We’re going to find him. I’ll have—” Danny is cut off when Zay speaks into the radio, pissed off. 

“Jakobs fucking bailed!! He just ran off like some coward. Did SEAL Team 4 get called into something different?” Zay’s voice dies down a little bit when he takes a deep breath. 

Danny and Steve share a disturbing thought before Danny speaks into the radio. “I need all SEAL Team 6 members to meet on the second floor. Immediately.” Danny hears a plethora of worried tones, but they all respond eventually with ‘yes, sirs’. Danny pulls Steve to his feet as he holds Buck’s utility belt in his hands, trying to hold back the tears he feels for the utter disbelief at the situation ahead of them. 

While they’re waiting for the rest of the team to arrive, Steve checks the rooms next to Buck’s stuff, hoping they’re missing something. They’re not. The floors, the building, the basement, it’s empty. If someone was here in the first place, they’re not here now, and that scares him more with what little information they already knew about the mission in the first place. 

Everyone arrives, keeping silent as they study they’re captain’s disapproving looks. It’s nothing good to see during a mission. They don’t address the item Steve is holding until Zay is the last one up to the group. He notices immediately and asks the question on everyone’s mind. “Where’s Buck?” 

Commotion starts not long after that with everyone asking their own version of the question, but Danny speaks up, cutting them all off. He has to be the one to deliver the bad news since his partner is doing everything in his power not to scream, yell, or crash out—all valid options, just not right at the current moment. “I know we all have a lot of questions, but right now, Steve and I don’t know anything. What we do know is that, yes, Buck is missing and Sanders is as well.” Zay immediately looks ready to protest, but Danny holds up his hand like he’s talking to a bunch of 6-year-olds, and Zay reluctantly shuts up. “I know that Jakobs ran off, but until we know more, I’m not ruling out anything. We knew Sanders before he became a SEAL. He was nice to Buck, but I’m not ruling that out either. Here is what we’re going to do now. We are going to go back to base and figure everything out there.” Everyone collectively takes a few deep breaths before Danny speaks up again. “Everyone, pack up and let’s head out.” 

No words are spoken all the way back to the army base. Eddie was surprised to see them back so early, but what he wasn’t ready for was when Buck was nowhere to be seen. He walks up to Zay as they are quietly heading to the meeting room. “You guys are back quick. Is Buck ok? I don’t see him anywhere.” 

“He’s fine, Eddie,” Zay explains stoically. He understands Eddie is concerned, but now is not the time for sympathy. 

“Ok, um, SEAL Team 4 arrived a few hours ago, said they were supposed to meet you here? But when I told them you weren’t here and had already left, they just figured you didn’t need their help.” Everyone stops in their tracks, giving Eddie their undivided attention.

Steve storms to the front of the group, “What do you mean team 4 came here? They met us a few miles from the building.” He turns to Danny and the rest of their team. “Who the hell was with us then?!” 

Danny steps forward and consoles Steve before glancing at Eddie, “Thank you for telling us, Eddie. You’re a good friend to Buck.” Danny starts to carry the team away from Eddie. 

Eddie follows the team and steps in front of Steve and Danny. “I’m not just Buck’s friend, ok? I need to know if he’s ok. At least tell me he’s alive?” 

Steve and Danny look at each other before Steve whispers, “We’re not sure, Eddie. He was taken from the building. His belongings were discarded, leaving no trace, but we suspect that our so-called Team 4 buddies were involved. Please keep this confidential, though. No one needs to know.” Steve gives Eddie a sympathetic look before they walk off to the meeting room, leaving Eddie in the dust with their thoughts rolling through his head. What do you mean, Buck is missing? No, they said taken. Someone took Buck out of his first big mission. He was already worried about it, and now someone took him away to torture him, question him, and then kill him when they realized they weren’t going to get anything from Buck. Because that’s who he is. Not because of SEAL training, but because Buck is loyal to his team through everything, even torture, but Eddie can’t imagine the pain Buck must be feeling right now. He’s barely been a SEAL, and this is the thanks he gets for signing up in the first place? 

Eddie should’ve begged Buck to stay. Should’ve kissed him more, told him how much Eddie Diaz loves Evan McGarrett, because he can’t do it now. Not because the man and his team successfully made it through a mission, not because he died or got hurt, but because someone yanked him away from everything he was growing to love and quite possibly will never get him back. Eddie would know what happened to Buck if he got hurt or died; he would cry or at least let a tear would fall, but he would know what happened. Now, he doesn’t know anything more than his team, and they were there when it happened. He has to sit in his lonely bunk and think about all the ways they would torture Buck just for some information. Eddie isn’t going to sleep until Buck is found; he knows that for a fact. 

--------------------

When Buck comes to, it’s with a bright light above his head, someone in the room with him, and barely able to keep his eyes open long enough to realize his predicament. He’s completely tied up with rough ropes digging into his wrists and ankles. From what he can see, there is no way for him to wiggle his way out of this before the figure in the corner of the room walks over to him. “Who are you?” 

The man shakes his head, arms still crossed, as he steps closer to the light. “You already know who I am, silly. Did you already forget about our time in training?” Buck sighs as the memories of his current problem come to light, both literally and mentally, when the man steps closer to him. He reveals himself as Sanders. The man he trusted in training and always stood by Buck’s side, no matter his age or size. He was also Buck’s partner for the mission that went horribly wrong. He must show the realization on his face when Sanders leans down. “Now you remember. Good, now I’m sure you're a little confused, so let me break it down for you. Despite you being tied up right now, I’m not your enemy. Let me explain.” He holds up his hands in mock surrender. “I need you. I see the potential and the true strength of Evan Buckley, sorry, Evan McGarrett’s abilities from day one, and I want to allow you to show them off.” 

“I will never work for you—” 

Sanders brings a wooden chair in front of Buck and takes a seat, still keeping his hands up. “Never say never, but I’m not there yet. All I want from you right now is to listen. Can you do that?” Buck sighs, realizing he doesn’t have much of a choice in the manner, and nods. Sanders smiles, “Good. First, introductions. Although we already know each other, let me introduce myself properly. My name is Caleb Sanders. I’m in charge of the group of people your team has been trying to stop rudely. The man you were after tonight is my father, and yes, I’m in charge of him, too. I needed him to be a diversion for the night while I got you. You were the mission, Buck. The reason Jakobs and I posed as part of a SEAL Team. You’ve been the mission for several years and you didn’t even know it.” Sanders shakes his head and gets to the main part. “Anyway, that’s who I am, and no need for your introduction. I already know you. I know your birth parents are the worst and will be spending most of the rest of their lives in jail, I know they were abusive to you, I know that Steve McGarrett and Daniel Williams are your adopted parents, I know that you have the skills no 16-year-old kid should have, despite your age and trauma, you rose to the occasion and crushed everyone. People should fear you, not doubt you. It hurts me how much you get overlooked by everyone. Your birth parents, your adoptive parents, your team, your friends, your teachers. Everyone overlooks your skills like you’re a ghost. I want to allow you to do what you were made to do. Save lives.” 

“You don’t save lives!! You kill people, I can’t believe I trusted you. You’re a monster!!” Buck cuts himself off when the chair gets thrown, and Sanders is up in his face. 

“Do not call me a monster before you know the whole story, Evan.” Sanders takes a step back and breathes deeply before continuing. “You and I aren’t as different as you think we are. My father was abusive to me, too. I almost died one night because of him, now I’m the one in charge. He doesn’t boss me around anymore. He’s afraid of what his son has become because he will never understand what it’s like, but you do. You understand me just like I understand you. He overlooked my potential, told me I wasn’t worth the family business.” His arms stretch out as far as they’ll go before he yells out, “Now I’m in charge of it!! Doing what should’ve been done in the first place. As for killing people, your team does that too. No one is innocent around here. I’m not the monster. I’m the one trying to make the world a better place. I’m doing what the military will never do.” 

“But you trained with me, you were going into the same profession.” Buck can’t wrap his head around Sanders’s words.

“Yeah, well, then I found out how corrupt the military is, and I quit. Took the family business, grew it, and thrived in it. I made a name for myself, and I want to allow you to do the same.” He pulls the chair back and sets it close to Buck. He pulls out his knife, playing with it as he continues. “But you have to trust me. You have to know that I’m doing what I do around here for the better.” 

Buck listens to Sanders' words carefully, giving him a questioning look. “What would make me trust you? You’re saying things that, for all I know, couldn’t be true. You clearly stalked me since I didn’t tell you any of those things about my life. You haven’t said anything that would make me trust you.” 

“You’re right, you didn’t tell me any of those things about you, but I paid attention. Something not even your adopted parents do. I care about you and your well-being, and I wanted to make sure you're okay. You have no reason to trust me, which is why you won’t decide anything until I’ve said all I need to say.” Sanders contemplates his next words cautiously, but he needs to get to the point sooner rather than later. “Do you trust your parents?” 

“Why would you even ask me that? Of course, I trust them.” 

Sanders rolls his eyes, “Just nod yes or no next time. Fully? Do you trust them fully? With everything?” Buck nods, wary of where this conversation is leading. Sanders smirks and leans on his knees, pointing the knife towards Buck’s face, “Are you sure?” A nod and a roll of his eyes is Sanders’s answer. “So they know about your scars?” Buck glances down at his arm despite not being able to see it, and shrugs. “All of them?” 

Buck’s demeanor shifts at the implications, and he wiggles in his chair. “No need to be scared. I’m just proving a point. You didn’t tell your adopted parents of your deepest, darkest secret?” He pushes back away from Buck and pockets his knife. “Wow, we’re really not that different. Although you think your scars make you shameful and weak. I see them as a strength that no one can take away from you. You can’t tell me it doesn’t irk you how much people bring you down. You’ve been through the ringer, still as a minor, and no one understands the amount of pain you’ve been through.”

Sanders continues, “I do. Before you freak out again, I only know about the ones on your back because I accidentally walked into the private showers during training. I wanted to bring it up then, but I know how hard it is to show your scars. Probably the same reason you wore long-sleeved shirts for the longest time during training. You were afraid of what people would think, but the thing is, it’s the very reason you are here. I see a strength no one else sees. Here, I won’t overlook you, no one will, because the people here have the same common goal. We’re not the enemy, we’re trying to stop the enemy. A threat greater than what the military is trying to stop.” 

Buck’s curiosity is officially piqued, and still unsure of why he should trust the man in front of him, he plays with it. “What do you mean? What greater threat is out there?” 

Sanders smiles at Buck’s curiosity. “You’re not asking the right questions. You shouldn’t be asking who the threat is yet; you should be asking why no one is doing anything about it.” Sanders takes another deep breath. “What do you know about us? What has your dad told you? I’m curious just how out of the loop you are.” 

“Um, you guys are a terrorist group. You killed innocent people in South Korea, you—” 

Buck is cut off when Sanders starts laughing and shaking his head. He strides over to Buck and grabs the arms of the chair. “You don’t understand how wrong you are, but I’m here to help. I won’t keep you out of the loop. You’re a military soldier for fucks sake. You should be in the loop no matter your age.” Sanders steps back again, “Your team is wrong, your dad is wrong. My team’s sole mission is to stop the real threat, and your team and everyone else keep getting in the way, causing the people we’re trying to stop to get away. As for the innocent people in South Korea, that wasn’t us.” Sanders steps back into Buck’s space and whispers in his ear, “That was your team.” He pulls his knife out and moves the chair out of the way. “I’m going to undo your ropes around your legs, and I want to show you the truth. I’m going to bring you into the light, and hopefully by the end of it, you’ll choose the right side.” 

Buck watches as he cuts through the ropes around his ankles, and now that he’s free, he makes no effort to move yet. He has to find out the truth. Whatever it may be, curiosity still has a tight hold on him. “What if I don’t?” 

Sanders looks up at him with a raised eyebrow, “You will, but if you want to play into the what-ifs, I’m not letting you go until someone comes after you or you accept the truth. Your team will find you with time, and whether you follow them or not will be up to you. I’m just here to make sure your decision is correct.” He releases Buck’s legs and pulls him out of the chair. Buck still doesn’t move, and Sanders watches him with a conflicted look. He whispers from behind Buck as he tightens the ropes around his wrists, “You are already questioning everything you know before I even show you. That’s a good thing; it means you’re curious. Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat this time, it helps you decide what side you're going to be on, and I believe you’ll make the right choice in the end.” 

Buck allows Sanders’s words to sink in as he guides him from behind to the outside of the room. He’s not screaming for help, he’s not fighting his way out of this, because maybe he doesn’t want to. Maybe there is something bigger than Buck that needs the attention more than his team does. Maybe actually being seen by an old trainee isn’t the worst thing that could come out of this interesting kidnapping. Whether he chooses the ‘right’ answer or not, Buck will learn more than he’s willing to swallow, and what he does with the information is for him to take in and process, not anyone else.

Chapter Text

Sanders leads Buck out of the room and down the hall. He watches Buck look around with curiosity and smirks before he even tries to speak. “The area we’re coming up on is our main area of the building. We have a small kitchen to the right and a lounge area to the left. The table is mainly used for planning stuff and the occasional card games.” Sanders points out everything, from the tiny kitchen with more counter space than actual kitchen appliances, to a long, beat-up sectional, and a small box TV. “It’s not much, but the team spends most of their time downstairs.” Sanders leads Buck downstairs to a basement with more lounge space, the gun room, and a section in the corner of the room dedicated to several monitors, all with different things open that Buck doesn’t know where to begin looking through. It’s something right up Cae’s alley. “That’s Tony’s area. He keeps radars on everything, including the greater threat I’m going to tell you about.” 

“Why didn’t you show me that first? You're trying to convince me to join your team, so you start by showing me you're a normal team?” Buck glares at Sanders, spitting back his words. 

Sanders rolls his eyes and pushes Buck back up the stairs before he answers his question. “I wanted to show you that, despite what you might think about this team, we’re just like your team. We all want the same thing; the only difference is that my team gets the job done while your team twiddles their thumbs in the safety of an army base.” Sanders leads Buck to his office and pushes him into a chair on one side of his desk. “Sit,” He walks over to his computer and starts typing away while Buck watches him warily. He pulls up what he was looking for and turns the computer to face Buck. “I know you don’t trust me, and I know it still seems like your team is the best, but let me show you exactly who you're working for.” 

Buck sighs and glances at the screen in front of him. The date at the top right of the computer reads December 17th, 2001. “What is this? This was 7 years ago.” 

Sanders is leaning against his desk as he watches Buck’s reaction. “Just watch.” 

Buck glances back at the video just before the building on the screen blows up. He watches as women and children run out of the building, coughing up smoke and limping or running to safety. Buck’s face changes from confusion to horror when he sees his team’s uniform at the scene; they’re running out as well. “What happened?” 

Sanders smiles as he answers Buck’s question, pausing the video. “In 2001, your team responded to a small town in South Korea. They entered the building late at night, thinking they were putting a stop to a trafficking ring right in the heart of the city. They thought they were killing the people responsible for putting misery on the people in South Korea by blowing up the building. They missed one crucial step in their master plan, though; they forgot to read the sign on the building, or I don’t know, check before placing C4 bombs all over the place and detonating.” Sanders backs up the video a few minutes before the explosion, showing the front of the building and the sign that identifies it. “What does that sign say?” 

Buck leans closely to look at the dark sign on the computer. He can’t make out most of the sign because of the shitty camera quality, but what he can read, he isn’t fond of. “Woman’s shelter?” 

“Close, it’s a homeless shelter specifically made for women and children. That’s the only people in that building at the time. Your team blew up an innocent group of people in the middle of the night. If they had just done their research more thoroughly, then maybe almost a dozen women and children wouldn’t have died that night.” Sanders is furious and for good reason, but that’s not the point. 

Buck stares at the computer screen, his breathing picking up as he tries to process the information Sanders just gave him. Does he really believe his family, his team, could kill innocent people just because they didn’t do enough research? That doesn’t sound like something they would do. It doesn’t sound like precise and organized Steve McGarrett, or calm and collected Danny Williams. The time was 7 years before he joined the team, before he even met Steve and Danny, before he was away from his parents. 

10-year-old Evan Buckley was still pining for his parents' attention, and his parents now killed a ton of people because they didn’t take the necessary precautions? It doesn’t make sense. “It doesn’t add up. My team is cautious and has well-thought-out plans. They wouldn’t kill innocent people.” 

Sanders leans forward, “What about tonight’s plan? It wasn’t foolproof. If it were, I wouldn’t have even had a chance of getting you. Now, Jakobs and I did pose as SEAL Team members, but I didn’t do anything to the real SEAL Team 4; I just delayed them. If your team really thought out tonight’s plan, nothing would’ve happened to you.” Buck leans further back in his chair like it would swallow him whole. “I already told you I’m not your enemy, Buck, and I’m not lying to you. I just want to show you exactly who you're working for vs. what you could be working for. That’s all.” Sanders returns to the computer and clicks on a different video, now showing the interior of the building. Buck focuses his attention back on the screen. “This is footage of inside the building. I only got this a few years back when a former SEAL realized he could do better than work for your team. He doesn’t work for us anymore; he died, but you're not the only one who questioned the team they were working for.” Sanders watches Buck’s face as he recognizes a few members of his dad’s team setting up the bombs around the building. He spots Raiden helping out one of the members, and then, when the bombs go off, he sees a younger Deon helping the women escape the burning inferno. 

Buck wipes tears as he watches his team stand outside, watching the local fire department put out the fire they caused, and the realization on their faces when they realize the building was a homeless shelter, not a human trafficking center. Sanders pauses the video again and crosses his arms, watching Buck as he processes everything. “How could they– it doesn’t make sense. My dad always talked about protecting the innocent and making sure his plans were always well thought out, but they weren’t here, and innocent people died because of his mistake. They learned from their mistakes, right? This hasn’t happened again, did it?” Buck looks up at Sanders with a mixture of worry and conflicting feelings toward his team. He’s not mad at them for what they did. People make mistakes all the time, but what he’s angry about is that his dad pretended that the team was elite. That everything was perfect, they were a well-oiled machine, and Buck should’ve known better. How could he have been so oblivious? Of course, his team isn’t perfect; he just thought it was. 

Sanders smiles softly and pats Buck’s knee, “No, they didn’t, but I can see the gears turning in your head. You don’t know how to handle this, how to process what a group of people did that you thought you could trust wholeheartedly, but Buck, you can’t. You can’t trust people so blindly, no matter how closely related you are to them. I don’t expect you to trust me right away. I want to earn your trust, and you should have had the opportunity for your team to earn your trust as well. You’ve only known them for a few months? That’s not enough time to trust them. You’re not oblivious. Do not blame yourself for their actions; you weren’t there when that happened, and you can’t blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. I know you think that because I used to think that. I thought everything was my fault because that’s how my father beat it into me, and I’m sure your father did the same, but your parents thought that just because you're their kid, it meant they didn’t have to tell you everything. You aren’t their kid on missions and debriefs, you're a soldier, and that’s how they should’ve treated you. You deserve better, Buck. I know right now, you don’t believe that’s me and my team, but I’m not done showing you the rest.” 

Sanders watches Buck pull himself together, ready to hear more of what he has to say. He’s intrigued by related trauma and trust that should’ve been earned, not bought just because the commanders of his team adopted him. Sanders has Buck exactly where he needs him to be, and their tour isn’t even over. “What else are you going to show me?” 

“I don’t have any videos of your team that would convince you, but I do know that your team is careless with their members. They act like they’re all buddy-buddy, but when push comes to shove, some members find it very hard to trust their commanders. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, something almost happened to you. Am I correct?” 

Buck’s breath picks up at the implications, but he allows Sanders to continue. “I am, aren’t I? You almost got hurt by an army guy, and you also found out that maybe it wasn’t the first time it happened. I knew the guy that your team couldn’t save. The kid who had the same problem as you last time your team was at an Army base. Except they didn’t get to him in time. That had to’ve bothered you. That you didn’t know about a kid around your age going through the same thing you went through, but not being so lucky. You didn’t know about him until that night, correct?” Buck nods, and Sanders throws his head back laughing. “Of course not. Your team told you what happened to him when it was convenient for them. Think about it, Buck. Would they have told you if you had never experienced unwanted hands on your body? If you had never had a similar experience, would you have ever found out? The answer is no, Buck. Did they tell you how he died?” 

Buck shakes his head and jumps an inch further into the seat when Sanders jumps up and claps his hands like he’s cheering on Buck’s team for making Sanders’s life easier. “What? Why are you clapping?” Buck asks incredulously once he gets his bearings again. 

Sanders gets in Buck’s face, grabbing his chin. “Because they’re responsible for his death.” He releases Buck’s chin and returns to the computer, pulling up another video and turning it towards Buck. “This is the mission he died on.” 

Buck focuses his attention back on the computer after moving his jaw around from Sanders’s tight grip. The video starts up on a type of battlefield you would see in movies, explosions everywhere, and his team’s uniforms sticking out like a sore thumb. 

The date on this one was only a few years ago. August 23rd, 2005. Only two years before, he was saved by his coach from his parents. Everyone from his team is now there, younger, but all accounted for. All except one, he doesn’t recognize—the one who dies on this mission. Buck watches the stranger closely to find out what his untimely death is, and it comes quickly. An explosion from behind the team (not the front, where the enemies are in the distance). Wherever it came from, it went off only a few feet away from the stranger, and he tried to get away, but he was too late, and Buck watched the explosion tear him apart. A few gruesome minutes later, the man is still breathing in the middle of the battlefield, but his team is doing nothing, and before Buck can find out what’s going on, Sanders pauses the video again. Buck pulls away from the computer like he was watching his favorite show, and Sanders just told him it was time for bed. “Why did you pause it? What happened? Where did that explosion come from? My team went after him, right?” 

Sanders sighs, “I paused it because the rest of it is pointless. Your team does eventually get to him, but he’s long gone before then. His injuries were too severe, but if your team had just—” Sanders takes a deep breath and continues with his point, “worked a little quicker, cared more about the rest of their members, then maybe they wouldn’t have lost him. Maybe he would’ve been able to meet you. He looked a lot like you, too.” Sanders leans forward and pushes Buck’s curls out of his face. “You remind me of him; he didn’t have curls like yours, though, but enough about him. How about I show you what you really want to see?” Sanders jumps away from the desk and pulls Buck up to his feet. 

They start walking back downstairs when Buck asks a question. “How did you know him?” 

“We were friends, but he didn’t know about any of this. I wanted to tell him about it, but he insisted your team was the best. Now he’s 6 feet under.” Sanders pushes Buck the rest of the way downstairs and past the lounge area to another room in the corner. This room, when Sanders opens the door, reveals a table in the middle filled with papers, bulletin boards, making Buck feel like he has walked into a criminal investigator's office, complete with papers, pictures, various documents, and printed-out camera footage with locations attached to every single one. Some are crossed off while others are not. 

“What is all this?” Buck asks when Sanders pushes him into a rolling chair. Buck continues to look around the room, not waiting for him to answer. He wants to know, but his eyes can’t stop wandering around the room at all the different evidence around him. 

Sanders snaps his fingers to the front of the room, and Buck pulls his eyes away to look at him. “This is Hydra. They are a substantially massive group of terrorists who wreck everything in their path without a care in the world. They kill anyone and everything that gets in their way.” Sanders gestures over to some of the locations' spots that have been crossed off. “As you can see, they have bases all over the world. They haven’t entered US territory yet, or maybe the military would actually do something about them, but my team has been attempting to take them out.” Sanders sighs, “The task is a lot harder said than done.” 

“What do they do? Like what’s their mission?” 

“Besides total destruction?” Sanders eyes Buck and rolls his eyes before continuing, “They enhance their soldiers, or at least they try to. It doesn’t work very well. All of their bases have some type of experimental drug they test on their members. If the significant decrease in soldiers we have to fight tells you anything, it means that nothing they’ve been doing is working. So we’re not worried about that, but they're expanding and they’re doing it very quickly. You know the expression, chop one head off, three more grow back; well, that’s Hydra. We take out one base, and another pops up a week later.” 

Buck shrugs, “You know, it does make sense why the military hasn’t taken care of Hydra yet. It seems pointless until—” 

“Until what? They step into US territory?! I don’t know about you, but I would like to take care of a problem before it gets worse, not after.” Sanders strides over to Buck and grabs his shoulders, pulling him up and causing the sudden movements to cut into Buck’s restraints. “I thought you would understand. These people are monsters. They kill and destroy everything in their path, and I would like to stop them before they do more damage. The military is supposed to protect our country, but they sit around and do nothing. You know, if they just spared a few more teams, then maybe, just maybe, Hydra wouldn’t be standing anymore. We have all these military soldiers ready to fight in a war and happily die for their country, but they don’t use their full potential because they waste it on going after people like my team. Thinking we’re the problem, but we’re not, not even close.” He drops Buck back on the chair with a thud and crosses his arms. 

“So, what are you going to do, Buck? Are you going to pretend like everyone else that this doesn’t exist?” He holds out his hands again, “Huh?! Or are you going to join my team and showcase your skills for something worthwhile and rewarding? Because going back to your team, knowing what you know now, can you really tell me that they’re going to treat you like a normal soldier, or are they still going to treat you like a kid, because that’s all you are to them? I’ll tell you how that’s going to go: your team saves you, you go back to the army base, and everyone celebrates your safe return. Still, then the next day goes on, and the next, and the next, and they don’t let you go on missions anymore, and if they do, well then it’s boring recon missions and the threat I’m trying to stop,” Sanders gestures wildly to the board behind him, “This, doesn’t go away!! It spreads like wildfire and everything and everyone you ever cared about and loved gets destroyed,” Sanders' voice knocks down several notches in volume before he resumes, “but you go back to your family and your boyfriend. You live happily ever after with this gut feeling that you could’ve done something about it. The kind of feeling that eats at you from the inside out and tears you apart because you had the opportunity to do something about it, but you didn’t.” Sanders watches Buck take in his words, but he doesn’t give him a chance to answer and pulls him up from the seat, taking the silent walk back to the room where Buck woke up. 

The gears work in overdrive in Buck’s brain as he takes in everything he’s learned today, and it’s a lot. He doesn’t even know where to begin in his jumbled mess of information. He wonders as they enter Buck’s musty, cold room and he is tied back by the ankles, returning to a secure yet uncomfortable position, if everything he has learned today is only the beginning. What else could his team be holding back from him just because he’s a kid? What happens if he ignores the Hydra group like every other military team? His team will, of course, be excited that he’s home, but when he first became a SEAL, he wanted to get away from everything that destroyed him at home; he wanted to do good. He came to the military seeking a safe space, ironically, and he found it in his team; however, his team wasn’t who he thought they were. 

Yeah, no team is perfect and people make mistakes, but how easily those mistakes could’ve been avoided is what bothers Buck the most. They could’ve risked their lives to save one of their own, or they could’ve paid more attention to what they were blowing up before blowing it up. I mean, is it really that hard to double-check your location? That’s what Steve always does, but I guess that was a lie too. Does Buck truly know anything about his team? 

Buck snaps back to reality, and Sanders is still in his room, watching him with a smirk. “I haven’t decided if that’s what you're waiting for,” Buck trails off when he notices two more people in the room, and only one he recognizes as Jakobs, or whatever his name was. “What are they doing in here?” 

Sanders steps forward while the other two stay behind, “Well, you haven’t made a decision, and I’m not pushing or anything, but you are still a prisoner here until you make a decision. So, after everything I showed you and while you contemplated everything you’ve ever believed in, I figured that whether you said yes or no, you would need a cover, so I thought I would let these two rough you up a little bit. Not too much, because I still need you alive and functioning, but I gotta do what I gotta do.” 

Before Buck could protest, the men stepped forward and started beating him up. They give him a few bruised ribs and a black eye, but ‘roughing him up’ wasn’t as much as Buck was expecting. It would probably be more if he doesn’t say yes, but he doesn’t want to think of that quite yet. After they’re done, Sanders is still present. He tilts Buck’s chin up toward the stained ceiling, checking his injuries and pressing his fingers to Buck’s ribs, finding out how much damage they really did, and steps back satisfied. “Not too bad, I’ll be back in the morning for one more showing to hopefully persuade you of your decision, and then depending on your answer, we’ll go from there. See you in the morning.” Sanders waves at him with a knowing smirk, already understanding Buck’s conflict of interest.

He doesn’t sleep at all the rest of the night, not because of his injuries or the bright light still shining above him, or the dripping water from the ceiling in the corner, no, his brain is flipping back and forth like a tennis ball in the middle of a heated match. On one hand, he wants nothing more than to go home and see Eddie, and be back with his team, but on the other hand, he thinks about Hydra, the greater threat, a problem with an impossible solution. He could join Sanders’s team and help him stop the most significant threat Buck would ever have to face in his military career. A threat no one else is trying to stop, and the thought of innocent families in the US, and everywhere for that matter, dying because of Hydra, Buck wouldn’t be able to live with this guilt that he could’ve done something if he had just said yes. The part of his brain that wants to go home also reminds him that he doesn’t trust his team; he doesn’t know how to work alongside them if he can’t even trust them. It’s an impossible task. To listen to someone you thought you could trust wholeheartedly, only to find out that everything you thought you knew is a complete lie. 

That’s what irks him the most: his dad promised that, just because he was still a minor, it wouldn’t change anything about working for his team, but he lied. Everything changed. He’s kept out of the loop during debriefs; his safety is everyone’s number one priority when it shouldn’t be. His dad and everyone else take everything too far when he’s not doing what he should be doing. Don’t get him wrong, Buck loves the protectiveness of his family, but they shouldn’t be his family in the field if it’s going to blind them to his potential. He’s good. He has skills no kid in high school had, and he thought joining the SEALs would show everyone just what he’s capable of, but he was wrong once again. It only showed his team that they needed to protect him and keep him from using everything he was gifted with. His birth parents never appreciated anything he did, and he thought his parents were different, but maybe Buck is wrong. 

Perhaps joining this team would show the world and his family what he is capable of. He’s tired of people doubting him and treating him like a child. He joined the Navy for himself, he joined the SEALs for himself, but he joined his dad’s team because his dad needed to keep an eye on him without making it too obvious. 

Whatever he decides tomorrow, it will be for himself, not his team, not his dads, not Eddie. 

Him.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Sanders walked into the room bright and early and untied Buck, watching with a sick satisfaction on his face when there was no restraint. “The last thing I need to show you is outside the building. Can I trust you to be untied and ride in a car with me to our destination?” 

There was no hesitation in his voice when he said, “Yes, you can trust me.” Why would he hesitate? This is the last trek up the mountain to the big picture at the top. This is the tip of the iceberg, the icing on the cake, the cherry on top of a sundae. This is the last piece of information that’ll either make or break his decision. However, Buck’s decision is almost set in stone. He’s not sure what else Sanders could show him to persuade Buck. Part of him believes Sanders already knows he can trust Buck, but there is something important about leaving the building for another location that seems to be just the motivation Buck needs. They go through a back garage area into a truck, and the car ride is dead silent. Buck is wondering exactly what he’ll see, and Sanders has a calm, almost stoic expression as they drive down a dirt road to the location. 

He glances at Buck, who is staring out the window, and smirks, knowing everything is about to change. He’ll have Buck exactly where he wants him after today; he knows it. Then, they can focus on the real threat instead of delaying everything for the small price to pay of one Evan ‘Buck’ William McGarrett. Sanders turns down a wooded area for several minutes until he gets to the clearing and the rundown building that started it all. He parks the truck in front of the entrance and turns to Buck. “We’re here.” He watches Buck focus on the ruined building in front of them. They both take in the sight before leaving the truck, and he guides Buck inside. 

“What happened here?” 

“This was the first building my team and I discovered. I felt I should show you how it all started for us.” He leads Buck through the corridor down to the room that rattles even Sanders' bones. He stops Buck just before they enter. “Before I show you what’s behind door number one, I want to brace you. Hydra are not people to be messed with, but if we don’t stop them, they’ll take over and destroy everyone in their path. I already told you they use experimental drugs on their own soldiers. This is the room they do it in.” Sanders opens up the door to the smell of rotting flesh and hospital anesthetics and watches as Buck takes a disturbing look around the room. There are lab tables all over the room with blood, rotting corpses, and restraints attached to almost every one of the tables scattered around the room. There are leftover IVs, tables full of discarded needles, papers all over the floor, and cabinets flung open. The amount of blood around the room is a little nauseating, but Buck stomachs through it. “It’s like a blood bath because it is. Most of these people were already dead before we got here, and we just killed the lab assistants and anyone else left standing.” 

“You killed everyone?” Buck asks incredulously. 

“You act like we had a choice. Listen, Buck, I get it, it’s a lot to process, but this is only the first room. Most of the rooms in this building are labs and cages. These people are ruthless, and it’s either us or them.” 

“What else is there that you needed to show me?” All Buck gets as an answer is Sanders smiling at him and dragging him down the hall to the right, to a hallway dedicated to all the people they have captured. They turn down the hall, and Sanders lets go, watching Buck hold back vomit. He takes a few deep breaths. “You said they were experimenting on themselves, not innocent people.” Buck walks down the hall, peeking in the cages of dead, rotting bodies of all ages. 

“No, I said Hydra tries to enhance their soldiers, but you didn’t think they would just test this experimental drug on their soldiers, did you?” He gestures wildly around them, “Look around, Buck!! Does it look like the people locked were their own members?” He watches Buck approach a cage on the left side, which visibly shakes the man to his core. Sanders walks up to him as he’s still staring into the cage. He pats Buck on the back, but he’s still too focused. “I know, it sucks. They looked so young, too.” He grabs Buck by the shoulders, forcing him to focus his blues back on Sanders. “This doesn’t go away whether you say yes or no, but I hope it’s persuaded you. Hydra will continue to kill and take whoever they want unless we put a stop to it, and you, my friend, have such wonderful skill at such a young age. These kids could’ve been younger than you. These kids didn’t have a fighting chance, but you do. You have the power to stop this from ever happening again.” 

Buck glanced back at the cage cell that had stunned him to silence. Two younger bodies lay together, and were dead long before Buck even knew kids had been involved. “Why would they take kids?” 

“I don’t know. My guess is they took the parents and happened to have the kids too. They weren’t experimented on, just waited for their parents to protect them before one of the Hydra soldiers put two bullets in them.” 

Buck looks back at Sanders, “How would you know that? Did you try to stop them?” 

“Of course I did. I rounded the corner, following the screaming, and I saw the soldier take the shot before I could act on it. The kids took their last breath as I laid out my own bullets.” Sanders pointed down the hall, back to the main entrance. “My team and I gathered the remaining soldiers, both dead and alive, and burned them in the middle of the room. We walked out while the place burned behind us and swore from that day forward, we would do everything in our power to stop Hydra and save those we could.” They walked back to the main room, where the pile of burnt flesh was barely recognizable. It was a sick satisfaction on Buck’s face to see Hydra burn for what they did to innocent people. 

“How many people have you saved?” 

“I’m not sure on the exact estimate, but we’ve taken down a lot of Hydra bases over the years after the first one. Haven’t been too lucky in saving people, but we’re saving more people by stopping Hydra. I understand it’s a difficult burden to swallow, but we are doing all we can. I promise you.” Sanders reassures Buck and walks back outside for fresh air. “That smell never gets better, though.” Sanders takes a deep breath in, “Oooh,” He stretches his arms out before leaning with his back away from Buck on the railing as he waits for the man’s answer. 

Buck already knew what his answer would be when Sanders came in this morning, but hearing about Hydra yesterday vs seeing what they’re capable of up close. It was clear what his decision would be. How could he stand by and go home with a family he can’t really trust right now when Hydra is the greatest threat he thought he would never have to face? Now that it’s in front of him and he has an opportunity to stop the most significant threat out there, how can he say no? Then, Eddie crosses his mind, and he wonders if maybe Eddie would follow Buck and take his side, or if he would be on his Dad’s side? He would want Buck to be safe and sound, but would he understand why he said yes? What if he doesn’t? What if Eddie hates him for his decision against his dad? He’s not sure he can really stand Eddie’s hateful eye, which he only reserves for his parents, being directed toward him. However, he promised himself going into this that he would decide for himself. 

It’s a simple word, but it changes everything. “Yes. I will join your team and help you stop them.” 

Sanders smirks at the sky above them before spinning around and looking like Buck just gave him a puppy for Christmas. “I knew you would come to the right decision. Let’s go, and I’ll explain to you our next plan of action on the way back.” 

-------------------

The plan is set in motion back at the base, but Steve can’t help but feel anxious about this rescue. Something isn’t right about it. “Steve, everything is going to be fine. We’re going to bring him home.” Danny has been trying to coax his partner for thirty minutes before their mission, knowing he couldn’t be there to help them. 

He takes a deep breath, momentarily pausing his pacing. “I know. I just wish you were coming.” 

Danny takes his own deep breath, knowing there isn’t much he can do about that. The Chief wanted him to stay behind and help out the overcrowded med tent. He wasn’t planning on helping since it was mostly Army men, dumb enough to get blown up during a mission, but they were swamped and he trusted his husband to bring their son home. 

Plus, someone had to stay behind and keep Eddie distracted. Danny had a feeling Buck and Eddie were a lot closer than either of them let on, but now wasn’t the time to ask Eddie about his intentions with their son. “I can’t do anything about that. When you bring him home, we are going to have a discussion because I know you don’t want him to leave this base when we bring him home, and that’s not going to fly with me or him.” Danny gives his husband his best Dad look and pulls him in for a deep-seated hug. “I know you want to keep him in a bubble for the rest of his career, but he’s tougher than he looks, and we have to let him be a soldier. You promised when he joined our team. You’re not going to break it now.” Danny kisses Steve before pulling away. “I love you and he loves you, but you can’t baby him.” He pushes Steve toward the entrance of his tent. “Now go bring our son home. Preferably in one piece.” Danny smirks as Steve rolls his eyes and runs out to their team waiting on him by the trucks. 

Danny and Eddie are standing by the medtent, watching SEAL Team 6 pile into trucks and head off to bring Buck home. Eddie looks at Danny wairly, “They are going to bring him home, right?” 

Danny smiles softly at the boy who stole his son’s heart. “He will. He’ll come back, and when he does we’ll discuss more about your intentions with my son.” Danny gives him a knowing look as the boy looks as pale as a ghost. “Don’t worry, no shovel talk yet. Just be aware of it in the future.” He pats Eddie’s back and pushes him into the med tent. “Now, let’s get to work.” They go their separate ways as soon as they enter the hectic organized chaos of the tent and both focus 95% of their attention on their patients. The small 5% is for the safe return home of one Evan William McGarrett. 

-------------------------

They arrive back at the base with a gameplan Buck is now in the loop for. The plan was to pack up and head to a base up in Argentina in the next couple of days, but when they returned to base one of Buck’s new teammates comes rushing toward Sanders, eyeing Buck next to him. “Boss, Boss, we have an emergency. They—” He eyes Buck again and Sanders reassures him that Buck is fine. 

“It’s ok, you can tell us both. He’s on our side now.” The guy eyes Buck up and down wairly before shaking his head and continuing. 

“Ok, they’re here looking for him. Everyone started packing up, but what are we supposed to do about them?” 

Sanders looks at Buck before relaying his instructions to the guy. “Do not engage with them. Just pack up and get to the trucks. I’ll call my pilot and make sure he’s ready for us. Just get everyone to the trucks and make sure they don’t follow us.” The guy runs off and Buck follows Sanders as he opens up another part of the garage to reveal huge military trucks before heading back into the building. They stop in a hallway and he eyes Buck up and down. “Ok, this is it. You’ve already accepted my offer to be on my team, but you are the only person that can steer your team away. You just have to know what to say. Tell your father apart of the truth, how he betrayed your trust and make sure he knows this is your decision. This is the real test, Buck.” He gives Buck a shining smile before adding one last thing. “You know where to meet us when you’re done.” Sanders disappears down the hall in an opposite direction while Buck runs in the other way, hoping this is the right thing to do in the end. His dad and team don’t need to get in the way of what’s going to happen in the next few days. 

Unsure of when he’ll run into his dad, he ends up taking the time to get dressed into better clothes. He’s been wearing his fatigues for a few days now, and they stink bad. He finds the room he was tied up to and notices a pile of clothes on the chair. Sanders must’ve had someone put them there for when Buck said yes. He gets dressed in dark cargo pants, a long-sleeve mesh camo shirt and combat boots. He was ready to head out, now where the hell is his dad? He runs out of the room and down the hallway, heading back to the garage when a voice calls behind him. “Buck!? Buck!?” He stops in his tracks halfway down the hall and takes a deep breath before glancing at the voice that does in fact belong to his adopted father. 

He sees Steve start to stride over to him, when Buck holds out a hand. “Stop, just stop.” Steve stops, eyeing Buck up and down. “I’m fine you don’t have to worry about me.” 

“I’m always going to worry about you, Evan. Come on let’s get out of here. I think they’re leaving.” 

“They are, and I’m going with them.” He eyes the other end of the hallway, but he has to talk to his dad. 

Steve chuckles, “What? No your not. Come on.” Steve holds out his hand for his son, but something is off. He can feel it. “Evan, what’s going on? What did they do to you?” He takes another step, but is stopped once again. 

“Stop coming closer. I am not coming with you.” Buck takes another deep breath as Sanders makes an appearance on the other side of the hallway. “You lied to me and you broke your promise.” 

“I’m going to fix it, ok? Just come on please.” He barely notices the presence behind Buck. His only focus is getting his son home. 

“No, Dad. You shouldn’t have to fix it. I made you promise that if I joined your team, you wouldn’t do this. You wouldn’t treat me like a kid.” 

“But you are a kid, my kid. Come on, Buck.” Steve’s getting irritated, but something is seriously wrong. 

“I know I’m your kid, but there was supposed to be a line between your kid and your soldier and you pretended like that promise didn’t even matter. You lied and you kept things from me!! Important things. Things maybe I would’ve understood if you had just told me, but no. You kept everything away from me because what? I’m your kid? Not good enough. You're supposed to be my commander when we’re on missions and on unknown bases, but no. You just treated me like I didn’t matter. Like my skills are wasted because you can’t stop for one GODDAMN SECOND!!” He glances at Sanders and he nods before Buck continues. “So, no. I won’t be coming with you and you won’t be following. If I ever want to come back, I will, but until then do not look for me.” 

Buck starts to walk toward Sanders when his dad doesn’t leave, but instead blames Sanders like he made Buck. “What did you tell him? What did you say to him!? What did you put in my son's head, Sanders?” 

Buck’s about to step up when Sanders puts a hand on his shoulder. “I got this, Buck.” He eyes Steve across the room. “I just told him the truth, Steve. I didn’t put anything in his head, I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, and I sure as hell didn’t make him. He decided this all on his own. He has his priorities straight. You wouldn’t want to get in the way of that, would you?” Sanders smirks at Steve. 

He sends daggers across the room to Sanders, but focuses his attention back on Buck. “Buck, I don’t know what he told you, but it’s not true. You have to trust me.” He holds out his hand again, hoping to get through to his son. 

“So you blowing up a building full of innocent people or refusing to save one of your own isn’t true?” Steve is stunned back, his hand dropping to his side with a thud. The sight on his son’s face was of complete betrayal, but he held it in. “So, it is true? You know I wasn’t really sure I believed him up until now, but your reaction sealed it all. You hurt innocent people and you didn’t even try to fix it. You refused to tell me because, what, it didn’t matter? It would’ve been nice to know what my team got into before I joined, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.” 

Danny’s going to kill him. He’s not going to bring his son home today, or tomorrow, or anytime in the near future, and it’s all his fault. He mumbles under his breath, running his fingers through his hair. Sanders has a tight grip around his son, and Steve gave him all the information he needed to do so. ‘Fuck,’ he takes another few steps forward and Buck steps back into Sanders. “Buck, you don’t understand, ok? You can’t trust Sanders. Everything is true, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you can’t leave with him. Please. You don’t understand.” 

“No, you don’t understand, Dad!! I’ve made my choice. Why can’t you just accept it?” Sanders leans into Buck, whispering in his ear, “He won’t ever accept you. Let’s just go.” He nods to Sanders, runs a hand through his hair, and speaks his final words. “I’m going and you’re not going to follow. Maybe I’ll come home one day, or maybe I won’t. Goodbye Steve.” Buck runs off toward the garage before Steve can attempt to convince his son anymore. 

Sanders follows Buck’s retreating form with his eyes before he smiles maniacally as Steve accepts defeat. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. You’re too late, Steve. Your boy belongs to me now.” 

“That’s what this is about? You can’t accept what happened, so you take my son? To get even? To get revenge? What? Why would you do this?” Steve’s tears are pooling in his vision. 

His smile dropped to a glare that could kill, “You know why I did this, and if I find out that you tried to come after us I won’t be so gentle next time. I will sick my team on you and I won’t care who dies and who doesn’t.” He pulls his smile back on, “Bye, bye Steve.” He skips off down the hall and does a quick little victory dance when Steve yells for Buck and Sanders to come back before he heads to the trucks and drives off with Buck in the passenger seat, staring off in the distance. He pats Buck’s knee, who turns to look at him at the physical contact. “You did the right thing.” He smiles politely before turning back to the window.

-------------------------  

“Sanders! Buck!” He waits impatiently, knowing neither of them are going to make another appearance. “Fuck!!” He pulls at his hair and slams his fist into the wall before his team comes around the corner. 

Zay speaks up first, “Steve, did you find him?” He looks around the hallway with no Buck in sight and a pissed off Steve. “Steve, what happened?” 

Steve holds his hand against his chest before addressing his team. “We’re leaving.” 

Everyone protests his actions, “What, why?” Terry asks.

“No, we're not. Not without Buck.” Zay protests. 

“What are you talking about?” Cae’s voice leaks of confusion.

“We are leaving!!” Steve shouts above all the noise of his team. “No questions answered. That is an order. Now, go!” Steve strides off past his team, down the stairs, and to the truck without another word. Everyone follows, but the questions don’t stop once they’re heading back. “I said stop with the questions. Buck’s not coming home. End of discussion.” His very vague answer raises more questions but nothing else gets answered. 

They get back to base, finding Danny and Eddie in the exact same spot they were when the team left. Danny and Eddie both ask, “Where’s Buck?” 

Zay responds as he storms past. “Ask Steve.” Everyone on the team walks past angry or upset or a mixture of both. Whatever happened, the mission didn’t go well. 

Eddie follows the group trying to get more answers as Danny approaches Steve and his partner's usually calm state is at a disarray with his hair in a mess, tear tracks stained on his cheeks, and a face of utter defeat. “What happened? Where’s Buck?” 

“I failed him. That’s what happened to Buck. I broke his promise, I lied, I betrayed his trust, and he willingly left with Sanders. This is all my fault.” He throws his hands up to his face, hiding himself in shame. 

“You’re right. This is your fault.” Steve peeks through to Danny with an incredulous look. “What did you want me to say? That it isn’t? Because it is. Our son asked of one thing from you, and you broke it. You told him you weren’t going to treat him like a kid, and then at the slightlest inconvenience you broke his trust. That boy loves you so goddamn much, but he made his choice and you have to accept that now.” 

“I can’t, We have to do something, Danny. Sanders has manipulated him and he’s doing it because of me. I have to pull him away from Sanders, we have to—” Steve gets cut off when his husband grabs his hands, examines the one he slammed into the wall before penciling it in for later, and slapping some sense into him. 

“NO! You are not going go try and find him, you are not going to drag him back here, and you certainly are not going to stop him. He made this decision. For whatever reason he made this decision, and despite what you keep forgetting, Buck is a very smart, strong, and independent person. If he has even an inkling of a bad feeling, he will act on it. Right now, he trusts Sanders, and you are not going to destroy his relationship with you anymore. So, you are going to back off and give him space now that you're forced to. Because if you want to gain that trust back, or bring him home. You will wait for him to ask you. He’s not a fragile little kid, he can handle himself and you need to wake up and realize that before you lose him forever.” Once Danny had finished his rant, he grabbed ahold of Steve’s injured hand and dragged him to the medtent where he had spend most of his time during the night worrying about his son, now patching up his husband who punched something a little too hard and probably sprained it. 

Their team had followed the couple in here with Eddie leading the team with a fuming anger that Danny was quick to notice and step in. “How could you just leave him like that!? You have to save him. He trusted you and you just left him. How could you!?” Eddie charged toward Steve, not sure what he would do if he reached his target, but he had Buck in his arms before the mission, and now he doesn’t know when he’ll ever get that warm feeling again. 

Danny held back a very angry Eddie and pushed him back when their team wasn’t going to do anything to stop Eddie’s anger. “I understand you all are very mad about the outcome of tonights mission. I’m not very happy either, but Buck left willingly with Sanders. For whatever reason he made that decision, and we are not going to stop him or bring him back home unless he wants to come home.” 

Terry speaks up, “Why wouldn’t Buck want to?” 

“Yeah, I thought he liked working with us.” Cae backs up her friend. 

“Buck does love us, what aren’t you telling us?” Zay knew just by the looks on his commander’s faces, there was something else. 

“Steve–” Danny was ready to explain it for his husband while he was wrapping up his hand, but Steve cut him off. It was his mistake to own up to.

“It’s my fault Buck isn’t coming home. I promised him when he first started that I wouldn’t let my protective father side get in the way of his professional career, but I almost broke that promise day one when,” 

“When I snapped at the dinner table,” Deon speaks up, still ashamed of his unnecessary outburst. 

“Right, but I didn’t and then I was hesitant when he first went on a mission, but he did great. Then, we came here and he almost got hurt by an Army guy, and I didn’t keep my cool that time. Although, that time was valid, but the point is. I kept things from him that he should’ve known about and Sanders told him about some of our past missions and he felt betrayed. I broke his trust because I was too afraid to tell him anything unless it was absolutely necessary.” 

“You should’ve known he could’ve handled it.” Eddie stood up for his partner since he wasn’t here. “He trusted you and you broke it.” Eddie leaves the med tent and heads to his own tent before releasing the floodgates. He wants so badly for Buck to come home, but he made a decision. Eddie doesn’t know whether it’s a good decision or a bad one, but Buck is smart, he’ll figure it out. He has to. 

Everyone had left the tent except for Zay, Danny, and Steve. He had some final words to say to the couple. “I hope you know what you're doing because if he dies, we will never forgive you.” Zay walks out with tears pooling in his vision. He’d grown attached to Buck in a way no one else and they got along better than the others, so it broke his heart when he went back to the tent and Buck wasn’t in the bed next to his.

Chapter Text

Seven months later 

23.

23 Hydra bases the team has taken down in just seven months. There were times when Buck missed his family, such as when he celebrated his 18th birthday surrounded by team members he could hardly get along with, and a cake made by Sanders, followed by another mission the next day. So, it wasn’t the hype it was when he celebrated his 17th birthday with his new family. He was hoping this year would be different. His team would surround him, and maybe they would be on leave, throwing a bigger birthday party to celebrate such an important milestone. Maybe they would’ve still been at work somewhere around the world, but he somehow knew the team would’ve found the best ways to make his birthday special. What he was most looking forward to was Eddie Diaz. He was finally 18, and because of his decision, he wasn’t spending it with Eddie. He wanted to kiss him more, and maybe even take it a little further, but it would all be for him and their new relationship, which he was finally, legally ready to explore. Yeah, he had moments in his decision where he wished he could go home, and although he was still mad at his dad for the secrets he kept from his son, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was something he wasn’t seeing. 

Over the seven months, he ran through his head over and over again the talk he had with his dad before he left, but more specifically, the conversation exchanged between his dad and Sanders. There was just something about the way the two talked to each other, like they knew each other, and he’s not talking about when Sanders was training with him. It’s something more, but he can’t wrap his head around it. The nasty looks shared between the two of them when they shared minimal conversation, his dad’s worried look, Sanders not immediately following after him when he left, and the look on his dad’s face when he realized something Buck wasn’t getting yet. It irked him, but he hasn’t had time to figure it out with all the missions he’s been on. He’s never been on so many missions with so little time in between. It’s exhausting, but it’s also rewarding because Hydra is delayed every time they stop them and save what little people are left. 

That’s normally Buck’s job after everyone is presumed dead. He checks around the base for the cells and saves anyone who might still be breathing. He hasn’t been too successful with saving people, but taking down these Hydra bases isn’t as hard as he was expecting. They’ve been going to bases all around the world. He has been to parts of Russia, Argentina, Greenland, the Philippines, Iran, and Mongolia, among others. The list goes on and on if he’s being honest, but nowhere near the United States. Argentina was the closest they had ever gotten to North America, but the rest were overseas. 

Tomorrow, they have another base to take down near the Army base where Buck and SEAL Team 6 were stationed seven months ago. It’s one of the rare times they’ve been near it since Buck accepted Sanders' offer, and every time he does, Buck does something he really shouldn’t. He walks the some odd miles to the outskirts of the base and lingers behind a grove just outside the spot he and Eddie used to hang around at when they wanted to be alone. Most of the time, it’s empty, and he never catches sight of Eddie before he has to leave, so Sanders never knows when he’s gone. However, occasionally, and if he’s lucky, Eddie will come to his spot, looking as though he wants to either scream or cry. Sometimes he stays long after Buck leaves, and other times, he’s only there for a few minutes before he disappears back to base, but every time, he knows Eddie misses Buck as much as Buck misses Eddie. He doesn’t have to be near Eddie to know that. He can see it in his eyes and how buried in the ground they look, in his clenched fists trying to suppress the anger, in his tense muscles that make it almost impossible for Buck to resist. It pains him every time he steps away from the base and watches Eddie beat himself up, somehow, about Buck’s decision. It’s not Eddie’s fault, it’s never going to be Eddie’s fault, but he doubts the man feels that way. This spot, for both of them, was supposed to be a safe place to relax from all the chaos surrounding them, but Buck ruined it by leaving him behind. He wants nothing more than to step out from behind the trees and embrace Eddie in a hug they both could use, but the purpose of stepping away from everyone he loved was to stop the most significant threat out there and keep them safe. 

So, he watches and watches and watches, because he loves him so much. Tonight isn’t much different. Eddie comes out looking worse for wear. His shoulders are slumped so low to the ground that an invisible weight might as well pull him down, his eyes are baggy like he hasn’t slept in days, and he plops onto the sandy ground. The same one they kissed before Buck’s mission changed everything. Instead of love and pure, innocent bliss, it’s now filled with sorrows and a deep-seated weight Buck can’t take off of him. It’s painful, but he did this to them. He chose to stop this impossible group instead of going home simply because his dad didn’t trust him like he should’ve from the beginning. 

“Buck? Buck, can you hear me?” Buck’s ears perk up when Eddie calls for him, but before he can respond, Eddie continues. “I know you can’t, but I miss you. God, I miss you so much. I've just returned from leave, and I wanted nothing more than to show you my little boy. I think you and he would get along pretty well.” Yeah, he’s not talking to Buck. His eyes are toward the night sky, almost like he believes wherever Buck is, he’ll hear him. He hears him just fine. 

“I hate you so much for leaving, but at the same time, I can’t hate you, because I love you so much, and you turned 18 a few weeks ago, and I wasn’t there. I was hoping I could show you just how much I loved you when you finally turned 18, because after I kissed you, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Now, it hurts to think about it because I can’t do it right now or maybe ever. Listen, wherever you’re at, I need you to come home.” He laughs wetly, tears streaming down his face, and Buck, holding back tears of his own, continues to listen to Eddie’s pleas. “Ok, I know this isn't home, but come back to me. I know your dad broke promises and kept things from you, but he’s just trying to protect you, and he loves you so much. I’m not trying to defend him, really, I’m not, but I need you back. I need to see your face again. I need to hold it in my hands and feel your warmth. I need to kiss you again, don’t tell me that’s our first and last kiss, cause I want so many more with you, but I need you to come back.” Eddie buries his head in his hands and cries. Buck’s not sure he’s ever seen Eddie cry, but he hates it. Eddie should be happy and loved and never shed another tear ever again, unless it’s a happy tear. What is he supposed to do other than step out of hiding and comfort him? He can’t do that. He can’t. 

Wiping away his tears, he stands up, dusts off his pants of sand, and starts heading back to the med tent. He stares up at the night sky one last time. “Ev, just give me a sign. Let me know if you're ok. If something were to happen to you, I don’t know what I would do with myself. I love you, Evan McGarrett.” Eddie walks back to his job and out of sight once again. 

After waiting a few minutes, Buck steps out from behind the tree and sighs deeply when he steps onto the dune. He follows Eddie’s movements from earlier and looks up to the night sky. “I wish I could tell you what’s going on, but I can’t. I hate that I’m away from you, and I love you so much. I was hoping to spend my birthday with you, but things went in a different direction.” He looked down, kicking the sand in frustration. “God, I’m sorry, Eddie.” He was about to walk back to his new team, back to a mission that never ended, away from his love and his family. No matter how mad he was with them, it never changed how much he missed them. 

“Damn it, I forgot my—” He cuts himself off when he sees someone with their back facing Eddie. “Who are you? What are you doing back here?” He inched toward the man with hair that resembled Buck, but it’s not him, so who the hell is he? “Turn around, who are you?” 

He was frozen in place. He couldn’t turn around, but he wanted to so damn bad. He wanted to see the man’s perfect jawline and caress it with his thumb, he wanted to stare deep into his perfect dark brown eyes and bury himself deep into the dirt ground, he wanted to kiss those perfect lips again and again and commit it to memory, because he didn’t get enough of a kiss when he left for that mission and never came back. It wasn’t enough; it was never going to be enough. He wanted everything with the man behind him, begging internally for Buck to turn around. He fights with every instinct to see the man again, but he has to go back before Sanders comes looking for him. he has to see him, though. The pull he feels to turn around is suffocating, but he tries to push it down and disguise his voice, “I’ll just leave.” He starts to walk away, holding his resistance until Eddie surges forward and grabs Buck’s wrist, sending shivers down the man’s spine. He jerks Buck around and freezes as soon as they lock eyes.

Both are speechless. Buck is frozen, knowing he should’ve just left after Eddie left, and Eddie is more shocked than frozen. He can’t believe the man in front of him isn’t a stranger or an intruder, but his love, his forever, the man who has the other half of his heart. The man who hasn’t been seen since way before seven months ago. He steps forward where Buck doesn’t move, and cups the man’s cheeks to make sure what he’s seeing, what he’s feeling, is real. “You’re here. Why are you here? How are you here?” He starts checking Buck for any bruises or cuts or any indication of pain done to him even though Eddie knows him being gone was all his choice. Then he pulls back with that knowledge. “You left. You chose to be away from me. I don’t care how pissed off you are at your parents, but I didn’t deserve for you to be gone. Why did you leave? Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you at least explain it? Tell me why you decided to leave. Please, I need something from you.” 

Buck steps back, with guilt eating up at him. He was mad at his dad, not Eddie, not Danny, not even really his team. His dad was the only one who needed his anger, but everyone got the backlash because of his decision. “I know I hurt you, but I can’t explain it to you. I wish I could, but I told him I wouldn’t.” He reaches forward and holds Eddie’s hand, giving it a squeeze for reassurance. “I just got offered a way to stop some pretty bad people, and this guy from training is the boss. We’ve done a lot, Eddie, but I thought we would be done soon.” Buck felt the exhaustion pulling at him again. “But it just never ends,” he took a deep breath as he continued. “So, I come here to see you. Sometimes you're here and other times you're not, but it’s the only time I get to see you. I never meant to hurt you, and I’m sure I’ll meet your son eventually.” He smiles a little at the thought of meeting Eddie’s family. 

“You heard me?” He looks around for where Buck could’ve watched him from and stares at the grove. “You were in the trees, weren’t you?” Buck nods, and Eddie looks up to the sky for patience and then back at Buck’s gorgeous blues. “I understand that you had to do something for yourself after your dad betrayed your trust, but I wish it didn’t mean I couldn’t see you.” Buck pulls Eddie in for a hug after that, beating himself up for what he’s done to Eddie. 

“I miss you so much,” He buries himself into Eddie’s collarbone, looking toward the grove when he spots Sanders in the distance. He pulls away reluctantly. “I love you, Eds. So much, but I have to go. I have a mission tomorrow.” He glances back at the groves and sighs internally, knowing he’s in big trouble. 

“What? You’re just leaving? What mission? What is going on, Buck?” 

“Eddie, I-I wish I could explain, but I really have to go.” He kisses Eddie on the cheek and rushes into the grove of trees, hiding behind one when Eddie follows, standing right outside. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I hope you’ll be home soon. I’m not the only one who really misses you.” He rubs where Buck kissed him on the cheek with his thumb. A stray tear slips down over the spot, but he wipes it away. “I love you, too, Buck. So much, but your dad loves you too.” He walks back to the med tent with the clipboard he had set on the truck.  Missing Buck all over again. 

Buck starts walking through the grove when Sanders grabs him by the shirt and slams him against the tree. “What the hell were you thinking?” 

“I didn’t tell him anything.” Buck defends immediately.

“How long have you been doing this? Sneaking behind my back to see someone who doesn’t even care about you.” 

Buck was bewildered by that comment, but he tried to ignore it. Of course, Eddie cared about him. Right? No, yeah, he does. Why would Sanders say that? “Eddie cares about me. What are you talking about, Sanders?”

“Just answer the question.”

He sighs deeply before explaining, “Fine, I’ve only been down here a few times. We haven’t exactly been close by in a while, so I stopped to see him. I wasn’t even planning on actually interacting with him, but he came back. I didn’t tell him anything, I swear.” 

“I know you didn’t.” He lets go of Buck and starts walking him through the groves. “But I only went looking for you because you're a valuable member of my team, Evan. I don’t want anything to happen to you, and tomorrow is a very important mission. Which is why we're starting early and leaving at 0500 hours instead of our later time.” 

“Why did we push the time? What’s so important about this one compared to the other ones?” 5 am? They literally just got back from a mission, not even 12 hours ago. This is becoming a little more intense than he had expected. 

He pats Buck’s back, “Great question, Evan, and it’s important because if we do everything right, it’ll be our last.”

“Really?” Buck has a hard time believing that, as he looks back, hoping Eddie will jump out, before focusing his attention back on when he notices one of their vehicles waiting in the clearing. “You drove here?” 

“Well, yeah, you didn’t think I was going to walk, did you?” He walks Buck to the passenger seat and opens the door for him. “Chop, chop. We’ve wasted precious time coming to get you.” Buck steps into the passenger seat, and Sanders slams the door once he’s in. Before he hops into the driver's seat, he looks up to the stars in the sky and smirks, “Everything is going to be perfect.” 

“Everything is not perfect.” Eddie bursts into Steve’s tent with a new sense of confidence. “We have to get Buck out now.” 

Steve looks up, unimpressed, “What are you talking about?” 

“I saw Buck today. That’s what I’m talking about.” Eddie starts pacing while explaining, and Steve stares at Eddie wide-eyed. “So, I was at my spot yelling at the sky, maybe a little bit of crying, but once I was good, I left. But then I came back because I forgot my damn clipboard, and someone was standing there talking to the sky like I was, and I thought it was an intruder with hair like Buck, but it couldn’t be Buck because, well, I don’t know why, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t Buck. Then, the guy was trying to leave and me being stupid and hoping the guy didn’t have a gun, I grabbed his wrist and turned him around, but froze because it was Buck. He was standing almost in the exact same spot we—” Eddie shut his mouth quickly while his face paled. 

“Same spot, you what?” Steve eyed Eddie with a knowing smirk, but brushed it to the side for now. “You know what, it doesn’t matter right now. So, you saw him? Is he ok? Is he hurt? Why was he here?” 

“He wanted to see me without seeing me, and apparently, he’s been doing it for a while, but that’s not the part that’s tripping me up. It was the unwanted guest who hid himself in the grove while Buck and I were hugging. He thought I didn’t see him, but I did. I let Buck leave again, because he said he had a mission tomorrow, but I’m not so sure these missions are good. He was ok, but he seemed drained and nervous when he noticed the man behind the trees. After he left, I followed them and heard part of their conversation. The man sounded mad at Buck for his actions and then spouted nonsense about how I don’t care about Buck, but I do. He’s a liar, but I think Buck knew that. I hope he knows that.” That was such an odd thing for the mystery man to say to Buck, but he didn’t believe it. No way. Not with their little interaction before the man so rudely interrupted. 

“Eddie, get to the point.” 

“Right, right, sorry. Anyway, Buck said the man’s name, and I had a feeling like I’d heard that name before. He called the guy Sanders, so I did some research before I came in here. His name is Caleb Sanders, and he was the guy working with Buck during training to be a SEAL, but that wasn’t even the craziest part. No, the craziest part was that he had a younger brother around Buck’s age at the time that worked for your team, and I was like, ‘wow, that’s a weird conscience,’ but maybe it’s not. Maybe something happened to his little brother, and he blames you, but it doesn’t make sense why Buck’s involved. Is it because he’s your son? Or is it something else? Did they have some beef during training or—” Eddie’s cut off in his rambling when Steve stands up, rounds the desk, and grabs hold of Eddie’s shoulders. 

“Eddie, Eddie, you’re right.”

Eddie smiles, “Of course I’m right, I mean,” Eddie’s brain short-circuits, “What, wait? I’m right?” 

“Your’re right, and I know. I knew all of this, and so does Danny, which is why he’s not here. We haven’t exactly been on talking terms since Buck left. Which he has every right to be, I’m in the wrong.” Sanders sits Eddie on a chair and pulls up his own chair to sit in front of him and explain. “Sanders took Buck because of me. He has a bigger picture, but he made Buck involved because of me. You see, his younger brother joined my team right after he completed his naval training. He was only a couple of years older than Buck at the time. He was thrilled to be a SEAL and was my youngest member. He got along with everyone, but then, in year three of his contract, we were on a mission, and an explosion went off, and he got hurt badly. We were attacked from the front, and there was no way we could’ve reached him without one of my other members being in the same position. He died long before the firing stopped. There was no saving him, but Sanders blames me for his death, and a few other things that happened to him. What happened to Buck with that Army guy also happened to Sanders’s brother, except we couldn’t stop it, and he never told us.” Steve hated himself for getting his son involved in something that wasn’t even his fight. His son had nothing to do with this, but did Sanders care? Not one fucking bit. He just wanted to hit Steve where it hurt, and what better way to do that than to take his son and make him believe what he was already doubting: that no one would treat him with respect. 

Eddie couldn’t believe the words coming out of Steve’s mouth. The secret behind Buck’s decision to leave was making a whole lot of sense, but there was still something that wasn’t adding up. Buck was left out of the loop and felt hurt, causing Sanders to worm his way into Buck’s shaky foundation and push Steve out. He discovered things about his team that should’ve been shared a long time ago. He understands Buck’s pain, especially with the shit he’s been through before even being adopted. Buck never really talked about his birth parents for good reason, but he knew they were bad people and in prison. That was enough for Eddie to know Buck needed to trust Steve and Danny to keep him safe, love him, and trust him. Something his birth parents could never do, but what doesn’t add up is, “What’s Buck’s mission then? Why is he so driven to stop these awful people?” 

“I don’t really know. I just know it’s a large terrorist group that has been a problem for years. The only reason the military isn’t getting involved is that they don’t pose a big enough threat. For a terrorist group, they don’t really do any terrorizing of innocent people besides people going missing, but it’s not enough for us to act on it. It doesn't sound very good, but there’s not much we can do about it. Although Sanders’s team thinks that just because they don’t have any military branches holding them back, it doesn’t mean they can’t just do whatever the fuck they want. They’re a dangerous threat, but Buck doesn’t see it that way. Whatever Sanders told him, it’s drilled into Buck’s head that Sanders and his team can stop this, but they can’t. It’s a waste of time.” Steve goes back to his desk, opening up his laptop to the page he was working on when Eddie burst into his tent. “Come here,” Steve calls Eddie over to look over his shoulder at the page, which is open to anything he’s found on Buck and Sanders. “Danny told me to stop trying to find them, but I can’t. I’m not acting on it until Buck tells us he needs help, but I can’t help but look for him. He’s my son, Eddie. I know I made some mistakes that I’m going to fix, but I can’t stop making sure he’s ok. As far as I can tell, the mission they’re going on is one of the last ones in the area, but I think Sanders is up to something big. I told Danny I wouldn’t act on anything, but I got a bad feeling.” Steve leaves it at that, leaning back in his chair as Eddie leans on his desk. 

“So, what? You're not going to do anything? Listen, Steve, your son loves you, and maybe you made a fool of yourself, but you're a parent. You make mistakes, but if I’ve learned anything from being a father, it’s that when you make those mistakes, you fix them, and you do better next time because you love your son enough never to stop trying. I don’t know much about his birth parents, but I do know that they don’t give two shits about him, and you not doing anything proves him right. You're proving to him that because he’s mad at you, he doesn’t need you, but that’s the opposite. He is still mad at you, and he’s probably going to be mad at you for a while, but he still loves you and he needs you, even if he can’t voice it.” He pats Steve’s shoulder before standing up. “You can wait for your son to say the word, but what happens if he can’t ask for help and he needs it? I’m not going to tell you how to do your job, but I know enough about your son to know when he feels drained and defeated, and he felt like that tonight.” Eddie leaves with his final words to Steve, hoping he’ll listen to his gut feeling and finally bring his son home. 

-------------------------------

The mission was done, and Buck had finished checking for living victims, coming up empty-handed. He was now searching the biggest building they’ve been to, looking for his team. Normally, he finds them burning the bodies by the entrance, but they weren’t there, so he was looking around the building for their voices. He finally heard them in the lab room, confused, he pushed open the door and heard them before he saw them. “Are we sure about this, boss? The kid has been doing good.”

“And he’ll do better when we start this process, now get what we need and let’s get out of here. I’m sure he’s—” Sanders is cut off when the remaining team members are pointing to the entrance, and Buck is standing there watching them. 

“What-what are you talking about?” Buck hugs near the entrance when he watches Sanders glance between Buck and the others before nodding. Two people come walking toward Buck and he backs away from them before they cross the room and pull him toward the group. “What are you doing? Let go of me.” They had tight grips digging into his arm as they led him to Sanders. “What is going on?” 

“You always ask such good questions, Evan. I was hoping to do this back at base, but you just had to go poking around.” He grips Evan’s chin, tilting it up. “I knew you were perfect the moment I saw you, and then we worked together on that mission and I was amazed by your skills, but you had fear in your eyes like you were afraid to give your full potential. Well, now you can get to your full potential with a little help.” He releases Buck’s chin and gestures to the lab table with less blood on it. “Put him on that one, but you’ll have to hold him down.” The two men still at his side, stronger than he’ll ever be, pulls him toward the lab table and throws him on the cold metal, holding him down as Sanders walks over with a syringe. “You see, we’ve been collecting different samples from the failed serums, but we couldn’t test it on ourselves with the serum not working with the others. One thing we did notice, was that none of the failed victims were older children. They had young ones, but mostly people around our age. So, we got to thinking and maybe the serum will work better with a younger host. You see, the older you are, the less cells in your body can function well. There’s a whole number of scientific reasons that I don’t want to get into. That’s not my forte, but I am going to stick this needle in your system and see what happens.” He says with such an evil little smirk that Buck’s noticed as his signature look. He had no idea it was so evil. 

Before he can react or even protest, the needle is pressed into his neck and the unknown substance enters his body. He can’t hardly process what’s happening to him before he starts seizing on the table. Two more men come over to help hold him down while Sanders just stands above him with a sick satisfaction on his face. This was his plan all along. This is what he wanted Buck for, this is what his potential was, this is the only reason Sanders took pity on him. He should’ve trusted his dad, but he was so angry at him, but his dad knew. He knew Sanders was up to something, he knew Sanders had something planned, and Buck didn’t listen. He listened to Sanders, someone who he thought he could trust. 

So, while this serum is coursing through his veins and rejecting him with the drained feeling taking over and the seizing hardly stopping, he regrets everything right in this moment. He was mad at his dad, sure, but he was stupid to trust someone he barely even knew. 

This is all his fault.