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Direct Messages between Peter the Panda and Perry the Platypus
Perry: We need to talk.
Peter: Well that’s not ominous at all.
Perry: Sorry. It’s just that Monogram gave me this new mission brief. Have you heard about it yet?
Peter: No. Is there a reason I should have?
Perry: Kind of. Here’s the deal. Roger Doofenshmirtz is visiting Seattle in a few days. Apparently, he wants to make some sort of deal with your mayor or something.
Peter: All right. Dr. D’s brother is coming. I’m following you so far.
Perry: Cool. Anyway, there’s been some suspicion lately that someone’s trying to seriously hurt Roger. There’s nothing solid, just a few close calls that could have ended very badly.
Peter: And he’s decided to travel? Is this seriously something he has to do in-person?
Perry: I think he’s trying to become more widely known. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted a higher political office. In any case, I’m being assigned to keep an eye out and protect Roger while he’s doing his diplomatic stuff.
Peter: Okay. That’s not your usual thing, is it? You’re more of a fighter than a bodyguard.
Perry: I don’t understand either. I guess Monogram thought I was the most free agent he had.
Peter: Sure. That’s annoying, but it makes sense. Why are you telling me all this?
Perry: Since I’ll be in Seattle, Monogram’s going to assign me a partner.
Peter: And that partner is going to be me?
Perry: That’s about it.
Peter: Great. I’ve always wanted to babysit a politician. That sounds absolutely riveting. Do you think I’ll hear about this soon?
Perry: I’d assume so. Roger's leaving Sunday, and I'm going with him.
Peter: It’ll be fun to work with you in a less stressful capacity.
Perry: That’s the silver lining, but this whole thing sounds exhausting. We don’t even know what we’re protecting Roger from, so we’ll have to be on high alert constantly.
Peter: Fair. At least we’ll be in it together.
Perry: Yeah.
Peter: Have you told Dr. D about this yet?
Perry: No. I know I should, but I really don’t want to. There’s no way he’ll like this, is there?
Peter: I don’t think so. Do you want me to do it?
Perry: No, I will. He should hear it from me.
Peter: Sounds good.
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Perry: Hey, Dr. D. I’m not going to be able to make it to class on Monday. I’ll miss a couple days, actually.
Dr. D: Really? Is Monobrow giving you some time off? Now that’s out of character. Not that I don’t think you deserve it. It just seems a little too nice for Mustache Man.
Perry: Mustache Man? That’s a new one. Anyway, he’s not giving me time off. I actually have a different mission.
Dr. D: Well, why didn’t you just say so? We’ve talked about this, Perry the Platypus. I’m not going to get jealous or anything. I’m more stable than that. I’m good, and there’s a lot of evil guys out there for you to stop.
Perry: Okay, great. I’m glad you understand. Hold on to that understanding for me, okay? The mission involves me protecting your brother.
Dr. D: What? Perry the Platypus, you’d better have a good explanation for this. You’re ditching me for Roger ? And here I thought you cared.
Perry: It’s not my choice, Dr. D. Monogram told me I have to do this, so I have to do this.
Dr. D: So you’re just going to be spending time with my goody two-shoes brother and watching him make all his little political friends in Seattle? Yeah, I know his schedule, Perry the Platypus, and you can’t tell me there isn’t an agent in Seattle who could do it instead.
Perry: I didn’t ask for this mission! Besides, Monogram said he was going to have Peter help. It’s not just me who's doing it.
Dr. D: So you’re both going off to “protect” my annoying little brother? Seriously, how could you think I would be okay with this? I hate Roger!
Perry: I know you do. Believe me, I would much rather help you with class than work as some sort of off-brand secret service agent.
Dr. D: Then why won’t Monobrow let you do that?
Perry: I don’t know, but this is my job. I have to listen to my superiors.
Dr. D: You know what you are? You’re a teacher’s pet. Except instead of a teacher, you’ve got your little O.W.C.A. boss who you can’t say no to.
Perry: Right. Because if I said no, he could either relocate me or fire me, and I don’t want either of those things to happen.
Dr. D: Oh. You really don’t have a way out of this, do you? Look, Perry the Platypus, I’m sorry for getting upset. I wasn’t thinking about things.
Perry: It’s okay. I get it.
Dr. D: You aren’t going to start working for Roger all the time, are you?
Perry: Absolutely not. That’s the last thing I want.
Dr. D: That’s good. If you had to spend all your time with Roger, you’d probably go insane from his political networking and virtue signaling. I don’t know how you’re going to stand him for just this mission.
Perry: I’ll handle it somehow. Thanks for understanding.
Dr. D: No problem, Perry the Platypus. I’ll have quiet classes while you’re gone, don’t worry.
Perry: Awesome.
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus, Stacy Hirano, and Ferb Fletcher
Perry: Hey, guys. I’m going to be out of town on a mission starting Sunday. Do you two think you can cover for me?
Stacy: I think Ferb can do that better than I can. He actually lives in your house.
Perry: Maybe, but you’re not too far away.
Ferb: I can certainly try not to bring attention to you being gone. Phineas will probably worry anyway. He normally does when you’re gone for too long.
Perry: I know. I hate that, but sometimes it can’t be helped. Just do your best.
Stacy: We will.
Ferb: What are you going to be doing?
Perry: I have to protect the mayor from an unknown threat that may or may not exist.
Ferb: That’s a bit vague.
Perry: I know. It’s frustrating, but that’s all I know.
Stacy: Isn’t Roger Dr. D’s brother?
Perry: Yep.
Ferb: Interesting. Do you know him well?
Perry: No. He and Dr. D don’t exactly get along. Dr. D is annoyed by his success, and I’m sure Roger doesn’t like having a former evil scientist for a brother. It can’t help his political image much.
Stacy: I don’t think many people in town know Dr. D exists, much less that he’s Roger’s brother.
Perry: I’m pretty sure that’s only due to quite a bit of work on the part of Roger’s campaign team.
Ferb: That makes sense. You know, I’d quite like to run for office some day.
Stacy: Wouldn’t that be hard for you?
Perry: What are you talking about, Stacy?
Stacy: I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just that most politicians like to talk.
Ferb: I talk plenty when it’s important.
Perry: Exactly. If Ferb wants to do something, I’m positive he can get it done.
Stacy: Right, okay. Sorry, Ferb.
Ferb: It’s quite all right. At any rate, Perry, Stacy and I will be sure to protect your cover.
Perry: Great. Thanks, you guys.
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, I just wanted to wish you luck on your mission because, you know, you’ll have to deal with my brother, and that can’t be fun.
Perry: It’s going to be a long few days; I can tell you that much. Peter and I are going to have to be on the ball pretty much constantly, since we don’t have any idea who would want to hurt Roger. We honestly don’t even know whether anyone would want to hurt him.
Dr. D: Yeash, that sounds awful, even without considering that this is Roger we’re talking about.
Perry: The best case scenario is that no one wants to hurt Roger, and Peter and I just stay near him until he comes back to Danville. That would be boring but safe. Speaking of which, that’s how I want your classes to be while I’m gone: boring and safe.
Dr. D: Yes. Yes. Fine, Perry the Platypus, I won’t do anything too exciting. I already promised, remember?
Perry: I know, but I’m not the one who needs to remember that.
Dr. D: Don’t worry about me. I have everything under control. I definitely did not almost set my building on fire this morning when I was modifying my toaster.
Perry: I’m just going to ignore that and choose to believe you’ll be fine on your own.
Dr. D: I will be! You can trust me.
Perry: Well, if worse comes to worst, you can always ask Ferb for help. He might be able to help. Don’t count on that, though. My kids are an absolute last resort.
Dr. D: Yep. I’ve got it. Go do your spy thing.
Perry: All right. You’re not still upset about this, are you? I know you don’t like Roger, but I don’t want you to think I’ll ever choose him over you.
Dr. D: Of course I know that, Perry the Platypus. Here, I’ll prove it to you. Here’s a picture of the cats.
Dr. D: shadowandmidnight.jpg
Perry: They’re definitely cute, but what does this prove?
Dr. D: It proves that I’m not upset because I’m willing to share this cute picture with you!
Perry: All right, then. That’s good. I’ll talk to you later, Dr. D.
Dr. D: Okay, Perry the Platypus!
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Ferb Fletcher
Perry: Just so you know, I’m going to leave for Seattle fairly soon.
Ferb: Can I come say goodbye?
Perry: Of course. That’s why I let you know.
Ferb: Thanks, Perry.