Chapter Text
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Stacy Hirano
Stacy: Perry, are you awake?
Perry: Yeah. What’s going on?
Stacy: I couldn’t sleep. I know I was really mean to you earlier, and I’m really, really sorry. You weren’t actually doing anything wrong, and I tried to hurt you. I didn’t mean it, I swear. I know how much you care about the Flynn-Fletcher’s, and I know they would care about you no matter what. Is there anything I can do to prove how sorry I am?
Perry: It’s okay. I forgive you.
Stacy: Really?
Perry: Really. Do you want to talk about what happened earlier? It’s fine if your answer is no; I just want to know what you need.
Stacy: What do you even want to know? Didn’t Candace already tell you what happened?
Perry: All I know is that Candace was upset about the giant lobster-like thing outside, and then you called her delusional. That doesn’t sound like the full story. That’s why I want to hear your side.
Stacy: Okay. We were going to go to the mall, and I know that we go to the mall all the time, but today was the tenth year anniversary of our friendship, and I really thought she’d choose me over busting her brothers - just this one time.
Perry: Did she know today was your anniversary?
Stacy: No. She’d forgotten. That made me really angry.
Perry: So you told her she was delusional as a way to get back at her?
Stacy: I didn’t mean that she was hallucinating . It’s just that she keeps trying to bust her brothers over and over and expecting a different result. That’s, like, the definition of insanity.
Perry: I suppose. To be fair to Candace, she does try many different methods.
Stacy: It’s still really frustrating.
Perry: I’m not saying it’s not. I truly do understand why you’re upset with her. She hurt you. It’s just that she’s feeling really hurt right now too.
Stacy: I know. I need to apologize to her, don’t I?
Perry: I think that would help.
Stacy: Fine. I guess I can do that. I don’t like fighting with her.
Perry: It isn’t all on you, Stacy. You can tell her you’re sorry, but she needs to work to make things better too. You feel taken for granted a bit, don’t you?
Stacy: Yeah. That’s exactly it.
Perry: Then tell her that. Don’t try to upset her; just let her know how you feel. I’m sure that if the two of you have an honest conversation, you’ll figure things out.
Stacy: Okay. I’ll call her.
Perry: Can you just do me a favor?
Stacy: Yes. I’ll do anything.
Perry: It’s nothing horrible. I just wondered if you could wait until morning. Candace is finally asleep, and I don’t want to disturb her.
Stacy: Sure. I can do that.
Perry: Great. In the meantime, you should try to get some sleep yourself.
Stacy: You sound like a mom.
Perry: Whether or not that’s the case, I’m pretty sure it’s a good idea.
Stacy: Yeah, all right. Goodnight, Perry.
Perry: Goodnight.
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, can we talk about something?
Perry: Dr. D, it’s almost four in the morning. What do you need to talk about so urgently?
Dr. D: I know it’s late, Perry the Platypus, well, actually, it’s early, I guess, since it’s after midnight. Anyway, the point is I lost track of time and forgot that you’d probably be asleep right now, but this really is important! Did I wake you up, Perry the Platypus?
Perry: Well, no, but that’s only because I’m dealing with two teenagers with very unhealthy sleep schedules.
Dr. D: Really? I know how that is. Vanessa goes to bed at ungodly hours, let me tell you. I don’t understand it one bit.
Perry: I’d like to point out that your sleep schedule is easily the worst I’ve ever seen.
Dr. D: I’m an adult human, Perry the Platypus. They don’t need as much sleep as teenagers or platypuses.
Perry: Fine. We’ve gotten sidetracked. What did you want to discuss?
Dr. D: Oh, right! We can do that. It’s fine . I’m definitely not nervous about this at all. Nope! Not me! I definitely haven’t been stressing about this since the school day ended.
Perry: Dr. D, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?
Dr. D: Yep! I know that. That’s right. I can do this.
Perry: Heinz, it’s okay. It’s just me. What’s wrong?
Dr. D: It’s just that I think I made you really upset today, and I know I can be annoying sometimes. I mean, that’s not always me. Sometimes you just don’t have the right spirit of adventure, Perry the Platypus. But today you seemed actually unhappy.
Perry: If I’m being completely honest, I was a little unhappy. I told you I thought the ice cream thing was a bad idea, and you just went ahead with it. Everything went wrong, there was a giant mess for me to deal with, and now you’re in trouble with Principal Lang.
Dr. D: Are you still angry at me, Perry the Platypus?
Perry: No, I’m not angry. I was frustrated with your choices, but I was never angry.
Dr. D: Right. That’s good, I guess. It’s just that when I started thinking about it, I realized you’ve seemed unhappy a lot lately. Do you still like being my assistant teacher?
Perry: This isn’t a good conversation to be having right now, Dr. D. I haven’t gotten any sleep tonight, and I’m not alert enough for this.
Dr. D: That means you don’t like working with me anymore, doesn’t it?
Perry: It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s kind of complicated.
Dr. D: Complicated how?
Perry: I like hanging out with you and the students, and I don’t mind helping out. It’s just that lately, you haven’t stopped to think about safety. I try to help you consider what precautions need to be in place, but you never listen. You just keep plowing ahead, leaving me with a big job when things inevitably go wrong.
Dr. D: Really? I haven’t been listening to you? Why didn’t you say anything? I know that’s an ironic thing to say, but I mean it. I want to be a good friend, Perry the Platypus, and it sounds like I haven’t been a good friend at all.
Perry: It’s fine. I can handle it.
Dr. D: Perry the Platypus, that’s not the right answer at all! You have to communicate! If you never talk about things that upset you, it’ll all build up until you snap and do something you’ll regret. Does that make sense?
Perry: A lot more than you’d know.
Dr. D: Okay, good. Now, back to the problem at hand. I haven’t been listening to you. I’m really sorry, Perry the Platypus. I’ll do better, I promise. If you think I need to change my lesson plan, I’ll be sure to do what you think is best. Or, you know, have a conversation with you about it at least. I’m still the teacher.
Perry: Thanks Dr. d. that would be great
Dr. D: Super! Okay. We’re good, right?
Perry: yeah
Dr. D: Good. I think that was a good conversation we had, right Perry the Platypus?
Dr. D: Perry the Platypus?
Dr. D: Oh, right. You were really tired. I should let you sleep.
Dr. D: I mean, you’re probably already asleep, so really there’s no point in continuing to message you, since you, being asleep, won’t be able to respond.
Dr. D: I’ll do something really calm tomorrow, I promise. No ice cream experiments, no robots, just a nice powerpoint. You can sleep right through it. It’s been a while since we’ve done a lecture, hasn’t it? No wonder you got so frustrated. I know you like my boring classes, and I haven’t been doing any.
Dr. D: Look, I’m not saying it wasn’t my fault. It was. I should have thought about what you need. But next time I do something self-centered like that, let me know. I really do want to treat you right.
Dr. D: I should probably go to bed too, huh? I do need some sleep.
Dr. D: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
Dr. D: Goodnight, Perry the Platypus.
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Stacy Hirano
Stacy: Perry, Candace and I made up!
Perry: Perry the Platypus can’t talk right now, Stacy. He’s resting. This is Dr. D.
Stacy: Hey, Dr. D. Why are you looking through Perry’s phone? Is he okay with that?
Perry: Well, I wouldn’t have done it, but he was kind of half awake, you know? He was going to try to answer your message, but then he fell back asleep, and I figured I should let you know what had happened.
Stacy: All right. I guess that makes sense.
Perry: You and Candace were fighting?
Direct Messages between Stacy Hirano and Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
Stacy: Use your own phone for this.
Dr. D: Fine. I’ll ask again: were you and Candace fighting?
Stacy: Yeah. Candace was doing something that really bothered me, and I didn’t handle it well.
Dr. D: Oh, I was just telling Perry the Platypus about the importance of communication!
Stacy: Cool. Anyway, we figured it out, and we’re best friends again.
Dr. D: That’s great! You only live for so long, so it’s always best to spend as little time as possible being upset with your loved ones.
Stacy: True.
Dr. D: That was the bell for class, Stacy.
Stacy: I heard. Talk to you later, Dr. D.
Dr. D: See you around, Stacearoo.
Direct Messages between Perry the Platypus and Stacy Hirano
Perry: I’m glad you and Candace worked things out.
Stacy: Me too. I don’t like being angry. Or mean. Sorry again, Perry. You weren’t actually upset, were you?
Perry: Maybe a little. It’s okay. Ferb and Peter helped reassure me. I’m feeling better about it.
Stacy: That’s good.
Perry: Hey, are you coming to my house today?
Stacy: I was planning to. Is that all right?
Perry: Of course! Linda made chocolate chip cookies, and I just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss them.
Stacy: Awesome! Thanks, Perry. You’re the best.
Perry: No problem, Stacy.
Stacy: See you in a bit!
Perry: See you.