Chapter Text
It’s been 5 years since Bobby died. Five years since Buck left the Firehouse. Five years since Eddie went back to Texas for a few years, then came back again. 5 years since Kevin Han was born. 5 Years since Chimney became capitan, and 5 years since Hen and Karen adopted Mara. More than five years since Ravi became part of their little family.
Eddie always found walking through LA extremely relaxing. Especially since he moved back. It’s sad to say that he didn’t remain in contact with everyone from the 118 during that period. Okay, he did hold a grudge when Buck left, so much so that they went radio silence for more than 3 months. They called once or twice for a year, but then the calls just stopped. He didn’t notice it at the beginning. He only did when Chris asked why Buck wasn’t writing to him as much. But it’s not like he wrote either.
Turns out, everybody had gotten the same treatment. Buck didn't write, call, or visit anyone. Apart from Maddie and her children. Though he specifically asked Maddie not to bring Chimney.
Eddie tried to get in contact with him, not as many times as he should have, but he did. The answers were always short and simple. Never asking a question back. It’s like he just wanted to push everyone away. And Eddie let him. Everyone let him. Everyone was so tangled up in their own grief and pain, while trying to regain control of their life, that it didn’t seem as important, the no-contact.
From what he knew, Chris got something out of him sometimes. This is how he knew Buck was still okay. Chris never gave up on him. Eddie should have probably done that too, but he was so caught up in his own selfishness, that he didn’t even bat an eye. He was mad at the beginning. Now, he doesn’t know…
He discovered the hobby of reading, now that he has a more tranquil life. So he always likes to read new books and lets himself inspire by the ones he sees in the shop windows.
Today isn't any different as he stops in front of the bookshop. That is, until he sees a “NEW” sign. It’s a thin book. Not even a hundred pages, from what it looks like.
The book underneath it reads: The Trials and Tribulations of Evan Buckley in 97 acts.
What the fuck?
———————
Of course he remembers telling him. He regretted it the moment he said it. So caught up in his own emotions.
He sprials when he’s emotional. He says things he wishes he could keep to himself. Things his brain unhelpfully pushes in front of his mind, until he can’t hold back. Irrational fears he wishes would just go away. They don’t, not really. But he learned to suppress them, at least until they explode, Eddie tries to be alone when they do.
So when he looks closer at the Book… Well, Eddie never was good at expressing how he felt. Nonetheless, he buys it. He doesn’t even know what the book is about. But his chest tightens in a way it hasn’t for a long time. Buck definitely wrote this. It’s not the Authors name that convinces him, it’s the blurb.
“This is not an autobiography. You would never hear the end of it I’m afraid. It’s my “letters I’ve never sent”, my “Diary”, my pride and joy at this point, considering how long I’ve been working on it. This is my first and last book. The title was the easiest to find.”
“Asshole.” Eddie mumbles as he makes his way home.
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For some reason, Eddie can’t bring himself to open it once he’s home. He just stares at it, wondering. Should he call, maybe. Telling him something like, “hey, nice book”, or “sorry I’ve been ignoring you for the past 5 years, how are you?. Anyway I saw that you published a book, what is that about”. If he feels brave even “Do you miss the 118? Why did you start to ignore everyone? I’m worried. We all are.”
Before he loses his courage Eddie opens his messages on his phone and scrolls down, down and then some more down. The last message is from exactly 4 years ago. It reads:
“What are you going to do then?”
No answer on Bucks part.
“Since when are you an author?”
He types, sends, and shuts his phone. He feels so stupid doing that. Chris did that multiple times when he was nervous about talking to girls.
There’s a ping, and Eddie has never opened his phone so fast. Honestly, he did not expect Buck to answer at all.
“You read it yet?”
Not even a Hello. Well, he didn’t say Hello either.
“Just bought it. Why?”
“Are you nervous I won’t like it?”
“Is it that bad?”
“I’m sure it’s good!”
“I’m afraid you won’t like the last chapter.”
“No spoilers thank you.”
“Sorry.”
It didn't feel like he was saying sorry for spoiling the book. He waits a few minutes, making sure there’s no other messages. He doesn’t understand why he’s disappointed that there aren’t.
The door opens and Tia Pepa walks in. She has a crutch now, sometimes even a wheelchair, though she refuses to use it. “Mijo?” she calls. Just from her voice Eddie understands that she’s in a good mood, which means she’s feeling well today.
“Tia Pepa!” He greets her, and hugs her, a bit tighter than usual. “It’s been a while.” she tells him, “how have you been huh?” She immediately walks to the kitchen, opening the fridge. “It’s been 5 days.” Eddie smiles. “Oh, look at that, you don’t have anything in here, I better order some groceries. You see, I have invited myself to dinner. In fact, I may even stay here the night.” she announces. She’s been doing that a lot recently. Inviting herself for dinner, she usually cooks. She claims that Chris needs a healthy diet, instead of ordering out 3 times a week because Eddie burned something. He doesn’t mind.
“Give me your phone.” she demands, sitting on the kitchen chair. He passes her the phone. “Do you want some water?” he asks, getting a glass for himself. “Please.” He opens the fridge and pours some fresh and cold water and then gets a bottle of normal temperature and fills up the second glass.
“Eddie?” Tia Pepa calls. “You have a message.” Eddie puts the glasses down after taking a sip of the cold one. “From who? I was supposed to call Chimney today, but I already postponed it for tomorrow.”
“It’s Buck.” Eddie snatches the phone from her. He did indeed write.
“Call me when you finish it.”
“Will do!”
Eddie smiles, then hands his phone back, but not before opening the grocery store app. “Are you two talking again?” Tia Pepa asks. “He published a book today.” Eddie changes the subject. In retrospect that wasn’t the best subject change.
“He did?” Eddie nods. “Bought it an hour ago.” “Maybe I should buy it too.” She nods. Eddie shrugs.
For some reason, he doesn’t like that idea. He wants to keep it for himself.
The door opens again. Perfect!
“Hey Chris!” Eddie calls, thankful for the distraction. “Guess who’s here for dinner?” Chris rounds the corner, into the kitchen. “Hi Tia Pepa!” She smiles at Chris before continuing to order things on Eddies phone.
“How was school?” Eddie asks, “got anything to do?” Chris shakes his head. “No. I did everything in class.” There is silence for a brief moment, then Chris speaks. “Do you know what I found at the bookstore today?” Eddie closes his eyes in frustration. So he already knows. “Yeah,” he answers as Pepa puts the phone down, satisfied and Eddie with 60$ less. “I bought it, it’s on the couch. I wanted to read it today after dinner.” Chris nods. “Could you lend it to me after?” Eddie smiles, ruffles his hair. “Of course.”
When everyone has gotten to bed, when the house was completely silent, the night lamp being the only source of light, Eddie picks up the book.