Chapter Text
After Buck had left, Eddie spent the night with Christopher, holding his son close as he cried about missing Carla, his family, and all his friends from school. He’d listened as his son apologized for stealing his phone, for trying to order a ride to run away to Buck’s apartment, and Eddie couldn’t even find it in his heart to reprimand him for it. Instead, he’d helped an exhausted, sniffling Christopher into his pajamas before scooping him up and taking him to his own bedroom. Christopher had fallen asleep in Eddie’s arms that night, something his ever independent son rarely did anymore. Eddie hadn’t slept that night, just holding Christopher to his chest and staring up at the ceiling. Once again, he knew that Buck had been right about everything. Eddie was rushing into this thing with Ana.
Eddie wasn’t even sure why he was. Maybe rushing into a relationship was all he knew how to do. With Shannon, they hadn’t even been together a year before falling pregnant with Christopher. From there it was a quick marriage, buying a house, and then Eddie was gone so fast he barely had time to say goodbye to his wife and newborn child. Eddie was happy with the life he and Chris had ended up with, here in LA with a family they could rely on, with Buck there for them at every turn, and rushing into his relationship with Shannon had given him Christopher- he’d never, ever , regret that- but he couldn’t help look back on their journey here with pain. It hadn’t been easy on any of them, least of all Christopher. He’d gone from one missing parent to the other. He’d gone from two parents to one. Rushing into something again couldn’t be good for them.
But Eddie wanted this thing with Ana. He wanted to make it work. Bobby had told him it was time to move on, and that’s what he was doing. Right? Him and Ana- that was Eddie moving on. Seeing Ana brought a smile to his face, and he looked forward to going on more dates with her. Ana seemed perfectly fine with the pace they’d been moving at so far and had sent him texts of good luck and encouragement when he’d told her he was going to bring up their relationship with Christopher. He wanted this, she wanted this.
Eddie glanced down at the boy on his chest as Chris shifted, sniffling and rubbing his face against Eddie’s shirt as he slept.
But Christopher didn’t want this.
He wasn’t happy.
Christopher had wanted to run away from him because he was mad.
Eddie let out a sigh, closing his eyes tightly as the idea of his son out in LA alone hit him again. Thank god for Buck. He’d been a complete godsend to them both, and Eddie didn’t want to think about where they would be without his best friend by their side. Even though the thought that Christopher didn’t think that he could talk Eddie about how he’d been feeling stung deep in his heart, Eddie was eternally grateful that he’d had Buck looking out for him and being there for what Eddie couldn’t.
So this thing with Ana- dating Ana- was going to need to go slowly. Eddie needed to find his footing with being a dad, being a boyfriend, and not letting himself make the same mistakes he did in his past relationships. Christopher needed to understand what it meant for Eddie to be dating again, and they needed to talk about what was going on in the world outside their house.
Laying there with Christopher’s head over his heart, Eddie knew he’d somehow, terribly, horrifically lost sight of his priorities. When Eddie had woken up in the military medical tent, three healing bullet wounds and a blood stained picture of his son, he’d made a promise to himself that when he made it home, Christopher would be his first priority. Always.
Jumping into this with Ana wasn’t helping that. He liked her, he really did. But maybe he’d gotten too much in his head with this new relationship. Bobby had told him to move on, and he was trying, but it was too much. For Christopher, and for himself.
Eddie let out a shaky breath, wrapping his arm a little tighter around Christopher. He knew it wouldn’t come, but he closed his eyes in hopes that maybe, at some point tonight, he just might get some sleep.
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It took over 12 hours for Eddie to finally talk to Ana again.
When he and Christopher had finally woken up the next morning, it was with sluggish attitudes and gentle promises that if Christopher got up, did his stretches, and went to school, Eddie would ask Buck over tomorrow for an extra movie night and sleepover. After that, it had been a rush to get themselves ready for the day, Eddie having a shift and Christopher needing to be all set up before his classes. For a while now, whenever Eddie had a shift during the school day, he would drop Christopher off at Hen and Karen’s. Both Christopher and Denny’s school were still distance learning, and since Karen had been strictly working from home since the lockdown had started, the Wilsons had been quick to offer their home as a make-shift school for Christopher. Eddie and Hen spend most days together at work anyway, so that way there were no more germs spread around than necessary, and Eddie didn’t have to scramble with how to care for Christopher without Carla, Isabel, and Pepa’s usual aid. It wasn’t often anymore that Christopher ended up with Karen for school; he and Buck had worked with Bobby to figure out a schedule that allowed at least one of them to be at the house with Christopher either during the day or night almost all the time. Today, however, was one of the week days during which they worked the same shift, morning to late evening, and Christopher would be with Karen until Eddie could pick him up that night.
So after dropping Christopher off with an extra long hug and a quick wave to Karen, Eddie had rushed- speeding, really, but no way in hell would he ever tell Athena that- into work, just barely changing into his uniform before his shift officially started. He was just exiting the locker room when he felt his phone buzzing incessantly in his pocket. Pausing inside the doorway, Eddie let out a sigh as he pulled it out. Glancing down at the caller ID, Eddie grimaced.
Ana Flores.
Right. He hadn’t ever texted her last night after Buck showed up. For all his thinking about his and Ana’s relationship he did last night, getting back to her hadn’t even crossed his mind. Eddie bit his lip, sighing as he brought his phone to his ear. This was going to be an awkward conversation.
"Hey," he let out, wincing at his own poor greeting.
"Edmundo! Hi," Ana replied, sounding relieved. "I wasn't sure I would get ahold of you. I didn't hear from you all night."
Her tone was sweet, it always was, but Eddie could hear the frustration laced through under the surface. He took a deep breath, moving back into the locker room to sit on the bench.
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It was just a. . . Rough night."
Ana hummed in response, then said, "Is everything okay? You ended our call so quickly I wasn't sure what was happening."
Eddie struggled over how to word this, "We're okay, yeah. Buck just had to stop by because. . ."
How was he supposed to say this without sounding completely out of left field? As oblivious as everyone loved to act like they were, Eddie and Buck were both more than aware that their relationship was closer than your average best friends. Eddie definitely hadn't heard any stories about Denny calling Chimney because the kid was mad at his mothers.
Clearly Eddie had taken a beat too long to finish his sentence, as Ana spoke up again.
"You hung up on me. . . because Buck came over to your house?" The frustration in her voice was coming closer to the surface, and she sounded almost hurt along with it.
"No, no! I mean, yeah, technically, but it's not-" God, this is why he hated talking to people. "It was about Christopher. He was more upset at me then he let on, and Buck came over to help."
Ana was quiet on the other end.
"I didn't mean to hang up on you," Eddie continued. "And I know I should have texted you last night. I was focused on Chris and I- forgot. Sorry."
He heard Ana release a small sigh, and he could practically see the small, placating smile he was sure she was making.
"It's okay, Edmundo. I know how sensitive Christopher can be."
Eddie frowned.
"It's difficult for children, when parents start dating again. I'm sure Christopher will get used to the idea," Eddie could hear how she was trying to be encouraging. His mind couldn't help to flash to the words he'd heard from Buck last night, seemingly the complete opposite.
"About that," Eddie started, grimacing to himself. "I was thinking. About what you said last night. That if Christopher and I needed some time- That you'd be okay with taking a break."
"Oh."
"It's just- last night you said maybe it was too fast, and I think-" and Buck thinks, his mind helpfully supplied, "I think you were right."
"You- But I thought- I didn't really think-" Eddie had never heard Ana stumbling over her words like this, and he couldn't help but frown at what he thought the end of those sentences may be.
"I thought you were going to speak to Christopher about this."
"I was- I did. And I think this is what Christopher needs right now, and I'm not. . ." Eddie closed his eyes, looking down at the floor. "We just need some time."
Ana was quiet for a while, and if Eddie couldn't hear her breathing over the phone, he might think she'd hung up.
"Okay. Okay, I understand."
Eddie pursed his lips, hearing the sour tone in her voice. She'd been the one to suggest a break, last night. Ana had suggested they were moving too fast.
"Look, Ana, I'm sor-"
"No, no, it's fine, Edmundo. I'll, um. . . I'll speak to you later?"
Ana didn't wait for a reply before the line went dead in Eddie's ear. He let the phone fall from his hand onto the bench, hanging his head into his hands. He clenched his eyes shut, rubbing over his face. Yeah, that could have gone better.
But this was the right decision. He was sure of it. Christopher needed to be his priority right now. And Eddie needed to sort through his own thoughts, his own feelings, and decide for himself what he wanted- what he needed .
One last sigh, Eddie stood up from the locker room bench, pocketing his cell phone. If he didn't get upstairs, Bobby was sure to send someone looking for him. He made his way up the stairs sluggishly, just catching the tail end of a conversation between Buck and Chimney as he did.
"He said that? Really?" Chim was asking, looking sympathetic to Buck, who was sat across one of the kitchen tables from him, slumped in a chair.
"Yeah," Buck sighed out.
Chimney winced, "That sucks, man. I'm sorry, Buckaroo."
Buck shook his head, "No, it's. . . I'm fine. It's not his fault that I'm-"
Whatever the end of Buck's sentence was got lost in the air as Hen, who was chopping some fruit at the kitchen island, caught sight of him and loudly greeted him with "Hey, Eddie!"
Eddie's attention now on the paramedic, he missed how Chimney and Buck both seemed to shoot up in their chairs, faces red and grateful looks shot to Hen. Eddie smiled back at her, not enough energy to do much more than wave in response. She held out a small plate of the fruit she'd been slicing- honeydew, by the looks of it- but Eddie declined the offer, moving to join Buck and Chim at the table. He was sure Bobby would be up soon asking for breakfast requests anyway.
Eddie plopped himself down in the chair beside Buck, as he always did. He blamed it on stress when he thought it looked like Buck tensed next to him, a strange distance between them. It must have been his mind playing tricks, he thought, when Buck turned to him with the same bright smile that Eddie swore up and down could outshine Hollywood.
"Hey," Buck greeted quietly. "How'd it go last night?"
Buck was speaking at a low enough volume that if Eddie matched it, the others in the firehouse would never be able to hear their conversation. It was a tactic Buck was employing in case Eddie wanted to keep it private, and Eddie could help the soaring feeling of gratitude that surged through him for the choice Buck was giving him.
"Rough," Eddie responded, loudly enough that Buck would be able to tell that Eddie didn't mind telling Chimney and Hen. "He broke down crying almost as soon as I walked in his room."
"Christopher?" Hen asked, the mom in her instantly alert at the concept of one of their kids crying. Eddie nodded in her direction, a half grimace, half smile twisting his lips.
"Yeah," he breathed out. "I mentioned to him last night that I was dating again and. . . He did not take it well."
Hen gave a slow nod in response, giving a short "hm" as she turned back to her fruit. It was the same one she used when she had something to say- usually to say they were making a dumb choice- but didn't want to start anything. Eddie was about to open his mouth, to tell her just to say what was on her mind- it couldn't be any worse than what he'd heard from Buck or anything he'd already told himself- but Buck nudged his arm.
"Just ignore her," he whispered, as loyal and protective as he always was. Eddie couldn't stop the actual smile that began twisting his lips now, glancing down at the table.
"So is Chris okay? How was this morning?"
Eddie shrugged, "Slow start, and we skipped out on stretches, but he was better. I kinda told him you'd come over tomorrow, if that's okay? I think some movie 'n popcorn therapy is exactly what the kid needs."
Buck smiled, but Eddie didn't miss the way he shot a glance across the table to Chimney, who had checked out of the conversation from the start it seemed, fiddling with his phone instead. "Yeah, man, of course. We're both off, you want me to come over around 5? We can make those stupid bagel pizzas Chris loves so much."
Eddie let out a breath, feeling an odd sense of relief and what may be calm wash over him. "Yeah, yeah, that'd be great."
Anymore of the conversation was interrupted by the alarm going off around the firehouse, sending them all into gear, jumping up from their seats and running down to the trucks.
The call- a minor pileup in an intersection- kept Eddie focused enough that he didn't even realize he hadn't gotten far enough to tell the team, telling
Buck,
about his conversation with Ana that morning.