Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Purpled joined the game

<Purpled> what kind of bedwars map is this

<Docm77> ?

<Renthedog> HUH

<GeminiTay> what?

<Grian> OH?

<Stressmonster101> :0

<VintageBeef> new guy?

<GoodTimeWithScar> new member! :D

<Tango> WHO

<Docm77> X, who is that? Did you invite them?

<Xisuma> uhhh… I don’t know? I’d tell you guys beforehand if I did invite someone. We only invited two new Hermits this season and they’re Pearl and Gem

<ZombieCleo> that doesn’t sound good

<Tango> kinda sus even

<Xisuma> I’m gonna check spawn real quick

<Welsknight> Do you need backup in case something goes south? I happen to be near spawn

<Grian> I wanna go too!

<Xisuma> Nah I’ll be okay, keep an eye out though

<Grian> aw ;(

<Stressmonster101> be careful! I hope that person is nice

<Xisuma> I will 

<BdoubleO100> I’ll go back to building then!!

<GoodTimeWithScar> Me too, hope it goes well!

<Keralis1> Purpled is an interesting name! It sounds neat! And creative too

<PearlescentMoon> they just added -d in purple though?

<Keralis1> okay Pearl Scent Moon

<PearlescentMoon> it’s pearlescent-moon >:(

<joehillssays> no no that's smart

<joehillssays> literally no one is stopping them from turning a random noun into a regular verb/past tense

<joehillssays> I wonder how their thought process went

<ZombieCleo> you just find everything interesting don't you

<Renthedog> heya dudes is someone missing a wolf?

<ZombieCleo> nope

<VintageBeef> not me

<GeminiTay> No, why?

<Renthedog> found a lil wolfie near Doc’s cursed chunk, he’s chilling right on the edge of it!

<Renthedog> he's so friendly!

<Docm77> Oh I saw it earlier

<Docm77> I assumed it was yours so I left it there

<Renthedog> it’s not mine! But it got a collar and everything so it’s definitely someone else’s

<Stressmonster101> doggy! Just take care of it until the owner comes, Ren :D

<Renthedog> on it :D

<Xisuma> I'm at spawn! I can see him from here

<Docm77> be very careful

<Xisuma> I’ll try

<Xisuma> he looks about 15?

<Xisuma> I'll talk to him, brb

Xisuma hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Purpled

<Docm77> XISUMA?

<Iskall85> OMEGALUL

<GoodTimeWithScar> WOAH WHAT’S GOING ON

<Renthedog> THE NEW GUY IS FERAL!!

<Stressmonster101> D:

<Welsknight> I'M ON MY WAY X

<Xisuma> NONONO you don't have to! I think he got scared bc of my skin

<Xisuma> I'm an Axolotl this season, remember?

<ZombieCleo> i told you that skin is unsettling

<Tango> why is he scared of water kittens?? theyre the cutest little crechers ever :((

<impulseSV> yea besides the fact that theyre murderous water predators

<Xisuma> It's strange. I don't think he's scared of axolotls. He looks more confused than anything

<Welsknight> Has he not seen an axolotl before?

<Xisuma> Perhaps?

<ZombieCleo> well that's weird. Axolotls have been around for a while

<Welsknight> let me ask this again, do you need help X?

<Xisuma> I'm fine, he's just a kid

<Xisuma> I can handle this

Xisuma walked into a cactus whilst trying to escape Purpled

<Iskall85> FAMOUS LAST WORDS

<Stressmonster101> oh dear

<iJevin> LOOOOOOOOOL

<cubfan135> x are you really ok?

<Tango> WHO DIES FROM A CACTUS HAHAHHAHAH

<Xisuma> please

<Xisuma> dont ask 

<Iskall85> LMAOOAOAOASDFKL

<MumboJumbo> Grian just fell from his chair from laughing too hard, what is happening here??

<falsesymmetry> Apparently a stranger joined, we don't know if it's a mistake or not but he's proven to be hostile.

<Xisuma> He’s really not! It was just an accident

Xisuma was slain by Purpled

<Stressmonster101> D:

<Docm77> That one doesn’t look like an accident.

<Welsknight> I’m coming over

<GoodTimeWithScar> Be safe!

<Xisuma> He was punching me with a STICK

<Xisuma> I can take care of this.

<hypnotizd> yea and he killed you with it

<Xisuma> Yes, but it’s a stick! 

<hypnotizd> AND YOU DIED FROM IT X

<iJevin> i know this is terrible but why is this funny

<Etho> i feel the same way kinda

<PearlescentMoon> It's so weird seeing you lose your cool like this, X!

<VintageBeef> he's always been a dork, really

<PearlescentMoon> X said this Purpled guy is around 15 right? Why is he alone and how did he end up here?

<GoodTimeWithScar> That’s what we’re gonna find out!

<Etho> the guy doesn’t sound too cooperative though

<Xisuma> REN

<Renthedog> YEAH DUDE?

<Xisuma> you found a dog right

<Renthedog> yes???

<Xisuma> bring it to spawn

<Xisuma> hurry he kept hitting me with a stick

<Xisuma> HE CRAFTSED AN ACXE

Xisuma was slain by a zombie whilst fighting Purpled

<Renthedog> I’LL GO AS FAST AS I CAN

<falsesymmetry> Screw this, I’m flying there too

<Xisuma> No don’t crowd him

<falsesymmetry> X you died like 4 times to this kid

<Xisuma> He’s just looking for his dog! No need to make it a big deal

<ZombieCleo> “no need to make it a big deal” yeah right u already did it yourself by dying 4 times to a stranger

<Xisuma> seriously it’s okay

<Welsknight> I think we got it covered now, I’m here with X

<joehillssays> did Ren make it there too?

<Renthedog> YEA

<Renthedog> im here with the dog dudwrsfosgiewgjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

<Docm77> What?

<Renthedog> THE DUDE HIT ME WITH AN AXE

<Renthedog> I JSUT ARRIVED WITH THE DOG MAN

<Welsknight> the dog is probably his then? 

<joehillssays> sounds like it

<Renthedog> IM ON 2 HEARTS

<Docm77> you brought food with you right ren?

<Renthedog> YES DOC

<Keralis1> I didn’t know axe hurts you that much!

<Renthedog> the dude crit me twice in a row then ran away, I couldn’t even touch him!!

<falsesymmetry> We have a skilled fighter here.

<Xisuma> hush False don't even think about it

<Xisuma> He’s on top of the tree a few blocks away from from us

<Xisuma> he got the dog with him too now

<Welsknight> he crafted a bow uh oh

<Purpled> HOW DID THAT GUY NOT DIE AFTER 3 LIVES

<joehillssays> he talks again!

<joehillssays> nice

<GeminiTay> I thought you lost your coms or something!

<Welsknight> what do you mean by 3 lives?

<Purpled> they came back to me and their skin is NOT gray at all

<Purpled> he’s supposed to be a ghost at this point

<Welsknight> And what do you mean by that?

<Purpled> My last server limits our lives to three respawns

<Purpled> Once u lost it, that’s it, game over

<Purpled> ur gone

<Tango> Isn’t that just the game grian suggested for our camping trip on another server a few months ago lol??

<Grian> oh you’re right!

<Grian> It’s like hardcore but different

<Purpled> no no u dont understand

<Purpled> our admin will literally delete our existence

<Purpled> some people could come back as a ghost but the rest just went straight to hell

<Purpled> at least that’s what i understand from observing

<Grian> Your admin didn’t even tell you about it??

<Purpled> idk no one fucking told me anything

<Purpled> I found out about it like 4-5 months later when people started dying left and right and tried my best to get good armor

<Stressmonster101> what kind of admin would allow such a thing? why did they make up that rule…

<Purpled> oh you have NOT met the guy

<Purpled> honestly im kind of lucky that im not on the receiving end of his bullshit

<Stressmonster101> ;;;

<Xisuma> ….Well, good news for you, then.

<Xisuma> Building is a hassle and we injure ourselves a lot because of it so we have unlimited respawns here. None of those 3 respawns business. I can’t imagine someone would limit them

<Purpled> i

<Purpled> prove it

<Renthedog> haven’t you killed him like 4 times already??????

<Purpled> shut up

<Purpled> prove it to me again

<Xisuma> You have a bow and arrow with you, right?

<falsesymmetry> XISUMA NO

Xisuma was shot by Purpled

<Stressmonster101> Oh dear God

<Renthedog> ZERO HESITATION

<joehillssays> woah

<GoodTimeWithScar> I’m glad you guys are close to spawn…. Going back and forth is nightmarish

<cubfan135> definitely, you of all people should know

<Etho> ok i like this kid

<VintageBeef> he literally killed x

<VintageBeef> what are you saying

<Etho> but it’s funny though

<Purpled> holy shit u came back

<Purpled> UR STILL ALIVE

<Xisuma> yes i am still alive

<Xisuma> You believe me now?

<Xisuma> Care to explain your situation, and how you ended up here?

<Stressmonster101> Wait, is he still on the tree? Near the swamp biome?

<Welsknight> Yes, he refused to talk to us so as you can see, we use comms instead. Not practical but it’s something since he kept shooting arrows when I tried to fly there

<Purpled> okay so about that flying thing

<Purpled> how the fuck

<Purpled> and i just wanna say the first red flag was the giant egg i spawned in

<Purpled> the egg itself isn’t red and doesn’t have nasty vines all over it but still weird

<Grian> If it makes you feel any better, the only other egg here is the ender dragon egg and we use it for a game of tag!

<Purpled> WHAYDT

<Purpled> WHAT

<Purpled> ENDER DRAGON???????

<Purpled> better question, HOW AND WHY

<Grian> wait now that i think of it

<Grian> it’s kinda bizarre that we’re doing this actually

<Purpled> YEAH EXACTLY

<PearlescentMoon> wonder what momma dragon thinks about her egg being tossed around

<Purpled> WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SERVER

<joehillssays> we call it Hermitcraft, just a good ol little server 

<Purpled> what the fuck

<Purpled> what the fuck

<BdoubleO100> WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

<Purpled> what the shit

<BdoubleO100> SAME THING!!

<Docm77> So how did you end up here?

<falsesymmetry> Or is this an infiltration?

<Docm77> Your fate shall be decided depending on your answer.

<Renthedog> chill out ??

<Docm77> he's killed X multiple times and almost killed you and Wels!

<falsesymmetry> Exactly what he said

<Welsknight> If it makes you feel better, I'm alright

<cubfan135> Please calm down you two, you're almost twice his age

<Docm77> HEY

<falsesymmetry> Doc? Maybe, but I’m not

<falsesymmetry> so answer us!

<Purpled> well I don’t fucking know?? I already decided to leave the server and stay at Hypixel but then this happened when I tried to use the server portal

<Purpled> this pink headass told me that it’s impossible or sumthn bc this server right here is coded to be inaccessible to unwanted guests and it’s far away from everything else

<Xisuma> first off, it’s Xisuma. Second of all, do I need to wash your mouth with soap?

<iJevin> he’s a kid man let him live

<xBCrafted> i mean he did die 5 times today by the same kid you're referring

<GeminiTay> Hypixel? Why would you stay in a mostly death game based server?

<PearlescentMoon> I don’t even know they allowed people to stay over there :0

<Purpled> yeah that’s the thing

<Purpled> they don’t

<Purpled> so i just need to be a permanent Bedwars player or work for a Skyblock base for them to let me stay

<Purpled> or start being a merc again since i dont really have anywhere else to go

<Purpled> but frankly that one is way too troublesome when I have Dogchamp with me

<Purpled> o

<Grian> HUH

<Purpled> shit

<Purpled> i said too much

<Purpled> I hereby declare ur all blind

<Docm77> Who the hell allowed this toddler to be an assassin

<Purpled> IM SEVENTEEN

<iJevin> literally the same thing

<Purpled> IT’S NOT

<Purpled> and im just a mercenary, not an assassin though i do freelance work from time to time 

<iskall85> SKJFHSDKF

<iskall85> mercenary huh 

<Purpled> it’s not a big deal, everyone knows im doing it and has no problems with it

<BdoubleO100> who in the heck just joined this server

<falsesymmetry> Someone dangerous

<Purpled> LOL

<Purpled> Listen, there’s no reason for me to be violent to any one of you since I only work under someone's orders. It’d be a waste of my energy to go after u

<falsesymmetry> then why did you kill Xisuma?

<Purpled> his helmet is so fucking weird

<ZombieCleo> I TOLD YOU THAT SKIN IS FREAKY

<joehillssays> cleo shhhh

<Purpled> and I lost my dog, ofc i freaked out

<Purpled> he’s my pride and joy

<falsesymmetry> So you won’t hurt anyone anymore?

<Purpled> If it’s the rules here, then sure, I won’t. though knowing that im feared when no one had ever acknowledged my existence is pretty new

<Xisuma> Purpled….

<Purpled> what

<Xisuma> you probably guessed it already but I’m the admin of this server

<Purpled> wouldn’t have noticed lol u suck at fighting

<Xisuma> in my defense I’m rusty.

<Purpled> lol sure u are

<Xisuma> Anyways, since I have to look through this portal problem, why don’t you spend the night at my base? It’s getting late and I don’t want you to sleep in the woods.

<Purpled> pfffft it's nothing new

<Purpled> and i thought i’ve proved that im more than capable to take care of myself by killing you repeatedly

<Xisuma> to be fair you used a stick to whack me the entire time

<Purpled> because I didn’t have my items with me!!!

<Xisuma> my point exactly

<Xisuma> you need an actual place to stay for at least tonight or till i figure out what’s wrong with your teleportation

<Xisuma> now come down from that tree and we’ll go to my base

<Purpled> .

<Purpled> make me

<Xisuma> sigh

<Xisuma> quick guys what do teenagers like these days

<ZombieCleo> SERIOUSLY?

<Xisuma> just do it

<Renthedog> The Beatles?

<Stressmonster101> cookie monster! :D

<falsesymmetry> tamagotchis?

<iJevin> FREEZY FREAKIES

<GeminiTay> what in the world are those

<Docm77> heavy metal

<GoodTimeWithScar> ABBA? Queens?

<hypnotizd> pacman

<cubfan135> Slinkies

<PearlescentMoon> what year is this????

<MumboJumbo> You guys are hopeless

<Iskall85> I don’t see YOU suggesting anything

<MumboJumbo> nintendo switch maybe

<Grian> wow

<MumboJumbo> ?? do you not know about it?

<MumboJumbo> You’re not that much older than me, come on

<Grian> idk maybe you’re way older

<MumboJumbo> DONT SAY THAT

<MumboJumbo> XB you're the youngest, you must've known something

<xBCrafted> who said that

<MumboJumbo> the internet

<xBCrafted> ah yes Internet the only reliable news source and definitely more trustworthy than asking the person himself

<MumboJumbo> ..... Then how old are you 

<xBCrafted> classified

<MumboJumbo> please not this again

<MumboJumbo> anyways I think games is a good way to persuade him?

<PearlescentMoon> true! Video games are the most obvious one!

<MumboJumbo> I... don’t have games on me but I’ve handcrafted a rubik's cube once, it's in my e-chest

<Purpled> oh i like rubik’s cubes

<MumboJumbo> I’ll give it to you right now!

<Purpled> ur not srsly gonna offer just that are you

<Purpled> how cheap do you think i am

<Etho> im sorry x but this is too funny to read

<Etho> You’re on your own

<Xisuma> sigh

<Xisuma> Can you tell us what you want then?

<Purpled> i wanna have ur base for myself

<Xisuma> Sorry, but I don’t think I can allow that.

<Xisuma> You understand why

<Purpled> fuck

<Purpled> uh

<Purpled> cannnnnn u build a house for Dogchamp then

<Xisuma> ah

<Xisuma> Of course :)

<Xisuma> I’ll build the doghouse however you want

<Purpled> use diamond blocks only

<Xisuma> I have more than enough diamond blocks for that actually

<Purpled> wait what the fuck

<Purpled> u for real???

<VintageBeef> are you seriously flexing on a kid X

<Xisuma> If that’d make him listen to me then I’ll do whatever it takes

<Purpled> sdkfjhsdkjf im jk 

<Purpled> just build him a wooden house

<Xisuma> Noted. Will you follow me now? Will you go down from that tree?

<Purpled> tch

<Purpled> sure I'll listen

<Purpled> for now

<Xisuma> It’s settled then.

<xBCrafted> that was a wild ride!

<ImpulseSV> the biggest victim here is Xisuma, hope he's feeling ok

<Stressmonster101> Yeah, will you guys be okay?

<Xisuma> Go on your merry way, everyone, Wels and I can handle the rest.

<Renthedog> x just shooed me away :’(

<Docm77> just go home ren, it’s late anyway

<Renthedog> on my way, dude!

<Xisuma> I suggest everyone keep an eye out for any anomalies that’s happening around you and report them to me.

<Xisuma> and I'd appreciate it if you'll give me info or clues about this teleportation incident

<Keralis1> this might be the beginning of something really big!

<falsesymmetry> Dear GOD no 

<joehillssays> what kind of terrifying gremlin has walked upon this cursed land

<BdoubleO100> what a little rascal he is!

<Zedaph> Hello! Did I miss anything? My communicator was going wild!

<Tango> WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

<Zedaph> just chillin

<ImpulseSV> you've missed so much

<TinFoilChef> So

<TinFoilChef> Is anyone gonna explain why X has adopted a little assassin

<Xisuma> tfc no

Chapter Text

[7:14 AM]

<Xisuma> DID ANYONE SEE PURPLED

<Xisuma> Sorry caps

<falsesymmetry> the kid's not with you?

<Xisuma> I just woke up to find out that his room is empty

<Xisuma> his dog isn't in his house either

<GoodTimeWithScar> Oh… I was about to send a good morning message! maybe it’s not exactly a good morning then

<Zedaph> awh gone too soon o7

<Zedaph> haven’t even talked to the guy

<cubfan135> Where were you last night?

<Stressmonster101> You were absent the whole time!

<Zedaph> doing  #madscientistthings

<cubfan135> I see

<Stressmonster101> That didn't really answer the question >:0

<falsesymmetry> X, you there? Did the kid leave?

<Xisuma> He didn't leave, I checked the logs and no log-outs popped out, so he's still in this world

<Xisuma> be careful out there everyone

<Purpled> damn ur so dramatic

<Purpled> im in the mines tryna get rich

<Purpled> if u care enough to scroll up u can see my advancements

<Xisuma> ...Ah.

<Xisuma> Can't believe I missed that.

<Zedaph> OOOOO hey! Purpled, right? :D

<Purpled> correct

<Zedaph> cool name! Very funky, good choice of color there B)

<Purpled> you are very right

<GoodTimeWithScar> Did you sleep well, Xisuma?

<Xisuma> I only got to sleep for 2 hours but it’s better than nothing

<Stressmonster101> why :(

<Stressmonster101> That’s not good!

<Purpled> dumbass

<Xisuma> ...I was doing it for you?

<Purpled> why would u do that

<Xisuma> Hm? 

<Xisuma> Don’t you want to go back to your server?

<Purpled> well

<Purpled> actually

<Purpled> im not in a hurry tbh

<Purpled> plus i’d feel bad if u waste ur time to rest for me

<Xisuma> Are you sure?

<Purpled> no one would rly miss me anyway

<Purpled> well there’s a couple but thats it

<Purpled> they’ll understand

<Xisuma> ...If you say so.

<Xisuma> I still need to talk to you face to face after this.

<Xisuma> please don’t go too far

<Purpled> oh come on it’s not like i can go anywhere else

<cubfan135> yep he’s right

<cubfan135> can't really tell what he can and cannot do

<falsesymmetry> but we’re still letting a skilled assassin roam around

<GoodTimeWithScar> He’s literally just a kid :(

<Welsknight> Yes, a kid who killed people. Maybe even perma-killed plenty

<Purpled> lol

<Purpled> chill out, if it makes u feel better, i am NOT mainly an assassin and i have never "perma-killed" anyone in my life

<falsesymmetry> Why did you put air quotes on permakill?

<Purpled> because im not sure if the last person I killed is actually fully dead or not

<Purpled> at least i dont think so? that guy's weird as hell

<Purpled> and I've never got offered enough money for that kind of deal anyway, they better pay me big time for a permadeath

<Welsknight> I don't like how calm you are, talking about this...

<falsesymmetry> So you're saying you would if you're paid well?

<Purpled> :) 

<Xisuma> It’s fine you guys, we have infinite respawns on this server. Nothing to worry about as long as I’m here

<Xisuma> How’s your expedition so far, Purpled?

<Purpled> pretty good ig

<Purpled> there’s a lot of items that I haven’t seen before actually

<Purpled> kinda freaky

<Stressmonster101> We’re playing in the updated world 1.17! I assume you haven’t gone through it yet?

<Purpled> I figured as much, the admin of my old server probably hasn’t updated it

<GoodTimeWithScar> Not much has changed, but there’s this cool new thing called copper

<Purpled> yea ive gathered some

<Purpled> looks rly weird

<GoodTimeWithScar> Just wait till you craft them to a copper block!

<Purpled> ok

<Xisuma> Did you bring Dogchamp with you? I can’t find him anywhere

<Purpled> no way in hell i'm bringing him into a cave

<Purpled> he’s sunbathing near one of your farms

<Purpled> if u do anything bad to him Dogchamp will bite off your fingers

<Purpled> i have trained him to be violent

<GoodTimeWithScar> Oh geez

<Stressmonster101> Huh?? But he was so friendly to Ren yesterday!

<Purpled> ...im also curious abt that

<Xisuma> He's a peculiar man

<Xisuma> Anyways, I need to talk to you

<Purpled> what do u need

<Xisuma> What are your coords? Can you go back?

<Purpled> i think im way too far away from ur base but i started from your mines

<Purpled> just talk here bc i dont think im getting out anytime soon

<Xisuma> Right.

<Xisuma> I did a brief server checkup in order to locate you but I found other things instead

<Xisuma> So it turns out; not only Purpled’s server portal messed up, but the entire server is going wonky. We’re not gonna be able to travel between worlds anytime soon.

<Xisuma> I haven't found out what actually caused this but I'll get into it

<GeminiTay> How about nether portals? We can still use it right?

<Xisuma> You can still use it, but there's a 15% chance that you'll end up somewhere else if the portal doesn't sync with the overworld, I’m also trying to figure that out

<GoodTimeWithScar> That doesn't sound too bad!

<GoodTimeWithScar> It has happened a lot already

<Xisuma> True, but it's still an inconvenience. I'll try to fix it as soon as I can

<Renthedog> WAIT SO WE CAN'T GO TO OTHER SERVERS???

<Xisuma> Correct, it'll probably take a while for me to fix it but don't worry too much about it :)

<Xisuma> Also good morning Ren

<Renthedog> NOOOO

<Renthedog> Good morning X! :D

<Renthedog> BUT HOW ABOUT MCC NOOOO

<Stressmonster101> Iskall won't be happy about not being able to go to Vault Hunters D:

<falsesymmetry> MCC was last week, Ren

<falsesymmetry> X will fix it before the next one

<Xisuma> God I sure hope so

<falsesymmetry> And I'm sure Iskall would appreciate a short break

<Renthedog> :DD

<Stressmonster101> <3

<Purpled> question

<Purpled> did it happen bc of me or,,

<Xisuma> No, you just accidentally got caught in the middle of this mess. You were just trying to hop between servers, right?

<Purpled> yeah

<Xisuma> As I said before, I haven't found out what's behind this but just know that it's not your fault.

<Purpled> oh

<Purpled> cool

<Purpled> thats good to hear

<Purpled> OH

<Purpled> WTF

Purpled has made an advancement [The Cutest Predator]

<Purpled> WHAT IS THIS

<Stressmonster101> Aww look at you! 

<VintageBeef> You guys are up early

<VintageBeef> Oh!

<VintageBeef> congrats on the advancement!

<Purpled> wtf this thing looks so weird

<GoodTimeWitchScar> Xisuma’s skin is based on axolotls this season so you might notice the similarities!

<Purpled> yeah i can see that

<Purpled> weirdo

<Stressmonster101> Please don’t be too mean to X :(

<Xisuma> ...How about stop being mean to me, like at all

<Purpled> pfffft

<Grian> Good morning everyone!

<Grian> I see you’ve been hard at work, Purpled :D

<Purpled> yea

<Purpled> been mining for 3 hours

<Xisuma>  ????????????

<Xisuma> when did you wake up?

<Purpled> idk, 4 am?

<Xisuma> goodness me

<Purpled> i almost got a stack of diamonds already

<GeminiTay> yay fellow early birds!

<Welsknight> Are we just gonna ignore what happened yesterday? 

<Xisuma> It’s fine, Wels. I’ve talked to Purpled about it last night and with how things are going, I think he’d be staying with us for a while. 

<Xisuma> If you’re worried about me dying countless times yesterday, I’m fine and over it, I’m still here.

<falsesymmetry> I’ll trust your judgement, X

<Stressmonster101> I’m glad! Maybe it’s an opportunity for us to teach him some manners too >:(

<Purpled> thats not happening lol

<Stressmonster101> Oh watch me make that one of my goals this season!

<Purpled> i mean i like to think that i'm well-mannered enough if u can excuse the occasional bad mouth

<Grian> ‘occasional’

<Purpled> stfu

<Grian> thats not very nice >:c

<Xisuma> People already know your name but I think you should properly introduce yourself to the others?

<Xisuma> You didn’t exactly give a… good first impression to them through game chat

<Xisuma> Just say what you want to say, and we’ll go from there. I'm sure you'll meet others later

<Purpled> mmm sure

<Purpled> im purpled, you can call me Purpled, Purple, Burpled, swag money or any variations as long it’s not stupid

<MumboJumbo> Stop slandering me

<MumboJumbo> Porp is a very valid nickname

<Purpled> u can call mr mustache over here a dumbass

<MumboJumbo> What have I ever done to you

<Grian> Morning, Mumbo!

<falsesymmetry> You two are that close already?

<Purpled> this guy won’t leave me alone yesterday

<Purpled> he could’ve gone home after giving me the rubik’s cube but hes just sitting there

<MumboJumbo> you do look like a porp looking lad though!

<Grian> trueeeeee

<Grian> Borpled

<Purpled> im gonna beat you up

<Grian> D:

<Xisuma> Do not beat anyone up.

<Purpled> i might if he keeps being a dumbass

<Purpled> anyways, u can only see my face on the player tab but I think u can immediately recognize me just by my outfit alone

<MumboJumbo> True, he is covered in purple from head to toe!

<VintageBeef> Good to know you, Purpled! 

<VintageBeef> Can’t wait to meet you in person, you sound like a swell guy :D

<falsesymmetry> Are you insane??

<Purpled> lmao

<BdoubleO100> RISE AND SHINEEEEEE

<BdoubleO100> MORNING EVERYONEE

<BdoubleO100> HOW’S IT GOING

<BdoubleO100> HELLO PURPLE KID

<Keralis1> good morning angel faces!! and nice to meet you, purpled!

<Purpled> uhhh hello

<Xisuma> You’ve been in the mines for a while, are you doing alright?

<Purpled> ye im fine

<Purpled> my inventory is getting full tho

<Stressmonster101> Do you need help?

<Purpled> no i can explore alone some more

<Purpled> i got this

<Purpled> I’ll give you a heads up when I’m planning to go back

<Xisuma> Well, as long as you’re sure :)

[11:08 PM]

<Purpled> so iirc someone mentioned something about ender dragon egg?

<Grian> You got it! Do you wanna play TEGG? You could win diamonds!

<Purpled> not now

<Purpled> where’s the portal to go to the End? We’re allowed to go there, right?

<Purpled> ive never been to the End before

<Xisuma> seriously?

<Xisuma> You never told me that.

<Purpled> I mean I KNOW that it exists from the books so I'm not completely clueless. They have ender dragons in hypixel too but they aren't real

<Purpled> plus the admin from my previous server banned us from going there for some reason

<Grian> So you’re telling me they’re gatekeeping the entirety of the End??

<Grian> But the End offers so much useful stuff!

<Purpled> yeah it sucks

<Grian> Well, I can take you there!

<Purpled> good

<Grian> ooooo this is exciting

<Grian> I’ll bring an extra elytra for you so we could go nyoom

<Purpled> no

<Purpled> can we walk instead

<Purpled> or use a trident

<Purpled> as much as i want to try to fly with those things i dont wanna risk dying from fall damage when we get there

<Grian> aw

<Grian> OH

<Grian> UNDERSTANDABLE BUT

<Grian> CAN I BE THE ONE TO TEACH YOU HOW TO FLY?

<Grian> THAT’D BE SO FUN

<Purpled> sure?

<Grian> YOU WON’T REGRET IT :DDDDD

<Grian> I'll send u the coords and I’ll meet you there!

<Purpled> aight

<Iskall85> WAIT before you go, check the chest near Dogchamp's house, Ren and I have a present for you!

<Renthedog> I named the tools myself ;D

<Purpled> oh

<Purpled> you do realize I could just craft them with my own diamonds right

<Renthedog> well we saved you a few diamonds and levels by crafting them for you! 

<Purpled> …"totally not a lightsaber" are you joking

<Iskall85> Ren said he saw a UFO keychain on your comms so i thought you like aliens or something :p

<Renthedog> You can change the names later if you want!

<GoodTimeWithScar> Oooooh space bros!

<VintageBeef> Spaceship??

<Grian> im getting unpleasant flashbacks

<Docm77> good lord

<Purpled> ,,,these r good enhancements i gotta say

<Purpled> but u rly shouldnt have smh

<Renthedog> Just take em dude!

<Purpled> sure

<PearlescentMoon> Stay safe!

[12:34 PM]

Purpled has made an advancement [The End?]

<MumboJumbo> ohhh!

<Etho> gg

<xBCrafted> gg

<Tango> CONGRATS

<iJevin> gg

[01:06 PM]

<Grian> oh my god you guys should've seen this

<Grian> Purpled hoarded the chorus fruits and flowers

<GeminiTay> can’t blame him, they’re beautiful!

<Grian> no we’re talking about a LOT here

<Grian> he forced me to use my own shulker boxes to store it

<Purpled> SHUT UP

<GeminiTay> don’t be shy! Those flowers are really pretty :)

<GeminiTay> I haven’t tried to incorporate it in my base since it doesn’t match the theme but I’d like to try using them more one day!

<GeminiTay> In fact, can you farm some for me so I can buy it from you guys? 

<Purpled> no

<Purpled> theyre all mine

<GeminiTay> :’c

<Xisuma> How did endbusting go?

<Grian> got about 5 shulker boxes of those flowers and at least 20 shulker shells! We’re already on our way back

<GeminiTay> That’s so many!

<Xisuma> Where is he gonna store those…

<Purpled> ur base obvs

<Purpled> clean up

<Iskall85> OMEGALUL

<Grian> lol

<Xisuma> sigh

<joehillssays> Purpled I want to give you something too

<Purpled> for free?

<joehillsays> not really but it's still technically free

<Purpled> whats the catch

<joehillssays> just your friendship because i don’t believe in paying with diamonds

<Purpled> understandable

<Purpled> what is it

<joehillssays> 8 stacks of purpur blocks

<Purpled> o

<Purpled> i forgot to mine those

<joehillssays> exactly

<joehillssays> Give me 1 free hangout session for at least an hour to get to know you and these will be yours

<Purpled> I mean i can just go back to mine them

<joehillssays> didn’t Grian say you two are halfway back to X’s base already?

<joehillssays> do you REALLY wanna go back to the end city just to mine those

<Purpled> fuck

<Purpled> ur right

<Purpled> fine

<Purpled> where and when

<joehillssays> I’ll be waiting at X’s base. You can dump your inventory for Xisuma to organize then we can go for a tour around the server

<Xisuma> HEY

<joehillssays> :)

<Purpled> cool

<Grian> We’ll be there in half an hour!

[01:32 PM]

<joehillssays> why are kids these days so tall im going to cry

<ZombieCleo> LOL

<Grian> HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL

<MumboJumbo> Ha short

<Grian> pls don't do that to me

[02:23 PM]

<cubfan135> I just saw Purpled and Joe walked past my base and frankly I am terrified

<cubfan135> What were you two doing?

<joehillssays> painful and prickly base, 4/10

<Purpled> this is the first time ive seen stalagmite or whatever its called and i hate it

<Purpled> bonus points for being an absolute killing machine though

<joehillssays> security 8/10

<cubfan135> what are you two doing?

<Purpled> who built the big spaceship and the lil ufo shop

<VintageBeef> That’s mine! It’s not finished yet, but it's getting there

<Purpled> ur cool in my book

<VintageBeef> Awesome!

<hypnotizd> Are you guys judging people’s bases???

<joehillssays> we figured a simple tour would be boring so we decided to spice it up a bit

<cubfan135> but you can’t do that, we barely even started the season and a lot of us just finished our starter bases :/

<Purpled> WHAT

<Purpled> WHAT DO U MEAN THOSE BUILDINGS WERE STARTER BASES

<Grian> Scar I think that’s directed to your wagons lol

<GoodTimeWithScar> but they ARE my starter base :(

<Purpled> THOSE GIGANTIC WAGONS????

<Purpled> WHAT THE FUCK

<ImpulseSV> He’s crazy good!

<Xisuma> That reminds me, are you familiar with our seasons?

<Purpled> WTSDFKDSG

<Purpled> YES the guy told me about it

<Purpled> u guys restart in a new world every seasons or sumthn

<Xisuma> Yes, and we’re currently 2-3 months into season 8

<Purpled> so all those buildings in 3 months

<Purpled> yall insane

<Purpled> u guys cant be human

<Purpled> I worded that weirdly but u get what im saying

<GeminiTay> I mean true, some of us aren’t humans in a literal sense :p

<Purpled> yeah tell me about it

<Purpled> that fuckin pink head guy aint it

<Xisuma> You really need to tone your swearing down.

<Xisuma> and I’m not actually an Axolotl you know, but I’m indeed not a human

<ZombieCleo> u talk big for someone who actually swears 24/7

<Xisuma> cleo no

<Xisuma> This is a different situation

<Xisuma> not in front of the child

<ZombieCleo> bitch

<Xisuma> CLEO

<ZombieCleo> LMAOOOO

[02:45 PM]

<Xisuma> It’s been an hour with Joe, how are you doing Purpled?

<Purpled> We just split up 10 minutes ago

<Purpled> im in hell rn and i wanna explore the nether more

<Xisuma> As I was saying before, some Nether portals are gonna be messed up so be careful

<Purpled> yeah yeah geez

<Stressmonster101> Have fun!

[04:11 PM]

<Purpled> AF;KSDJFLKJDF;S’DK

<ImpulseSV> ?

<Purpled> WHY ARE THERE HEADS

<Purpled> IT’S EVERYWHERE

<Purpled> WHY DO THEY LOOK SO REAL

<ZombieCleo> you mean player heads? Or mob heads?

<ImpulseSV> or both?

<Purpled> WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

<Xisuma> Where are you right now?

<Purpled> i went to this nether portal with horses in front of it and mob heads are literally surrounding me

<xBCrafted> Oh you’re at the best place on the server!

<xBCrafted> Welcome to the Horse Head Farm :D

<xBCrafted> I’m omw to the portal hold on

<hypnotizd> Me too me too

<Purpled> the fuck are these for

<Purpled> How do u get it

<ZombieCleo> X enabled player head drops

<ZombieCleo> basically you just need to kill someone or a mob and their heads will drop as an item

<Purpled> thats a lie

<Purpled> i killed the pink head guy multiple times but he didn’t drop a single head

<Xisuma> Like I said, the server was so buggy yesterday so it probably didn’t register.

<Xisuma> ...And I have a name, you know.

<Purpled> lmao

<Purpled> is this even allowed

<xBCrafted> I mean, yea! It’s just a thing that we have

<Stressmonster101> We use it a lot in our builds or just to act as a pointer, usually for decorative purposes! <3

<ZombieCleo> I use it for my armor stands as well

<Purpled> so u just,,,,, kill ppl or mobs to get the heads that they drop?

<ZombieCleo> yep

xBCrafted was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

<Xisuma> PURPLED NO

<Renthedog> DID YOU JUST USE THE SWORD THAT WE GAVE YOU

<Iskall85> HELL YEAH

<Stressmonster101> WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HIM A SWORD D:

<Keralis1> it’s like giving a child a knife!! 

<Iskall85> he needs to defend himself

<falsesymmetry> YOU QUITE LITERALLY JUST GAVE AN ALREADY SKILLED FIGHTER A GUN

<Purpled> omg the head looks so real

<Purpled> wait

hypnotizd was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

<Xisuma> NO

<Purpled> that’s so cool

<Purpled> im keeping these btw

<Purpled> i assume those two set their spawn far away so imma just say it through chat

<Purpled> i’ll be going now byeeee

<hypnotizd> REALLY

<hypnotizd> YOU YEETED US OUT AND YOU JUST DIPPED

<Xisuma> I

<Xisuma> Since when did you start using those words

<hypnotizd> I figured he’d understand me better this way :(

<joehillssays> purpled did say those a lot

<ZombieCleo> u act like ur not doing the same thing

<joehillssays> joe mama

<ZombieCleo> STOP

<ZombieCleo> THATS NOT EVEN HOW YOU USE IT

Zedaph was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

Tango was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

Keralis1 hit the ground too hard

BdoubleO100 was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

<BdoubleO100> EVERYONE RUN

[04:30 PM]

GeminiTay was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

Stressmonster100 was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

[04:39 PM]

<iJevin> GUYS RUN HE’S GOINHG TYO BOATMESGFFJSDls;SDAAA

iJevin fell from a high place

[04:50] PM]

GoodTimeWithScar was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

MumboJumbo was shot by Purpled using [pew pew]

[05:03 PM]

ImpulseSV hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Purpled

<Tango> IMPY NOOOOOOOO

<ImpulseSV> he trapped me with my own redstone this is insulting

<Zedaph> RIP

<Etho> christ i think that’s half of us already

[05:25 PM]

Grian experienced kinetic energy whilst trying to escape Purpled

<GoodTimeWithScar> RIP

<MumboJumbo> DID HE GET YOU WHILE YOU’RE FLYING?

<Grian> I DIDNT SEE WHERE I WAS GOING

<Grian> HE WAS SHOOTING ARROWS AT ME

PearlescentMoon was shot by Purpled using [pew pew]

<GoodTimeWithScar> PEARL NOOOO

<joehillssays> imagine getting killed by weapons called pew pew and totally not a lightsaber

<Purpled> i didnt name these things

<Purpled> my levels arent enough to change these fully enchanted tools smh

<Purpled> i dont usually name my gears

<joehillssays> you know ren was the one who named them

<joehillssays> he’s hiding near our base

<Purpled> omw

<Renthedog> HOW COULD YOU JOE

<joehillssays> :)

[05:37 PM]

Renthedog was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

<Renthedog> WHY

<Purpled> deserved

[05:50 PM]

Iskall85 drowned whilst trying to escape Purpled

Etho was burnt to a crisp whilst fighting Purpled

<xBCrafted> there has been a resistance

<VintageBeef> o7 fallen soldiers

<Tango> AT LEAST IT’S NOT FROM A LIGHTSABER

<ZombieCleo> *not a lightsaber

[09:56 PM]

Welsknight was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

<iJevin> finally

<Tango> L

<GeminiTay> OH NO

<hynotizd> uh oh he got wels

<ZombieCleo> what a tragedy

<Zedaph> says YOU who didn’t get killed :((

<joehillssays> be smart

<joehillssays> get your own heads beforehand and just give it to him

<ZombieCleo> true

<Stressmonster101> You two had my head and didn’t even give it to him :( ouch

<ZombieCleo> pay up luv

<joehillssays> we also got msgs from tfc, beef and cub, they paid us 10 diamonds each in advance for the heads

<GoodTimeWithScar> CUB :c

<cubfan135> I’m not up for a game of tag

<VintageBeef> not planning to die today as well

<ZombieCleo> this is why you should always check the locations when a player died

<ZombieCleo> free collections

<BdoubleO100> DANGIT

<Keralis1> that’s just a dirty trick :(

<MumboJumbo> should've just told him that you can also buy heads from villagers

<ZombieCleo> now where's the fun in that

<Etho> if you dont wanna die u can just walk off the edge before he gets you

<Iskall85> YOU RAN WITHOUT ME

<Iskall85> I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

<Etho> every man for himself

<Etho> i still ended up dying tho

<VintageBeef> karma

<Etho> ive learned my lesson

<Purpled> tch this knight guy was tough

<Purpled> I almost ran out of regen potions

<Welsknight> darn it

<PearlescentMoon> You had a good run! Me and Grian were watching

<Welsknight> WHDY DIDTN YOU HELP ME

<Grian> we are NOT going near that battlefield pal

<xBCrafted> so Purpled was carrying potions this whole time????

<hypnotizd> did he make those by himself or did someone give em to him

<iJevin> shut up horse headers this is all your fault

<hypnotizd> WHAT WHY

<ImpulseSV> he got the idea from your shop

<xBCrafted> BUT CLEO EXPLAINED THE HEADS TO HIM

<Welsknight> YES BUT YOU TWO WERE THE ONES WHO PUT MOB HEADS EVERYWHERE

<VintageBeef> I mean if we’re using that as argument then Etho and Iskall are at fault as well for making that tower of mob heads

<Iskall85> HE SAW XB’S HEADS FIRST

<Iskall85> SPEAKING OF THAT TOWER PURPLED TOOK IT ALL

<Etho> not a single one left smh

<Stressmonster101> oh my gooood

<Keralis1> should’ve given us a heads up

<Keralis1> haha get it

<GeminiTay> KERALIS >:(

<Purpled> where are the goggles lady and the weird creeper guy

<Grian> oh yeah you only need Doc’s and Falsey’s!

<Purpled> ig

<Purpled> and i gotta kill you too pinkhead

<Purpled> where r u

<Xisuma> Purpled it’s getting late, I’ll /.give you their player heads and mine if you return to my base immediately

<Purpled> rly?

<Xisuma> They’re at my place, if you promise me not to kill them I’ll give it to you.

<Purpled> oh ok

<BdoubleO100> NOOO

<BdoubleO100> THAT’S CHEATIN

<Tango> THEY’RE HIDING AT THE X's BASE

<iJevin> boooooo

<joehillssays> disqualification

<falsesymmetry> It’s not a game in the first place!!

<Renthedog> doc you left me :c

<Docm77> It had to be done

<Purpled> i just want to have it

<Purpled> ive never seen these before, thought i’d collect it

<Xisuma> hm

<Xisuma> Sorry for the impromptu head games everyone, hope it didn’t cause too much trouble

<Etho> half of our base got burnt down :/

<Stressmonster101> i won't be able to sleep tonight

<MumboJumbo> HE WALKED ALL OVER MY POTATOES WHEN HE CHASED ME 

<GeminiTay> purpled killed my cattle :(

<Welsknight> I lost my dignity

<ZombieCleo> you got beaten up by a kid loooooool

<Welsknight> This is the worst day of my life

<joehillssays> work smart not hard

<iJevin> You two are having way too much fun it’s unfair

<GoodTimeWithScar> can I sue you for giving me emotional distress

<GoodTimeWithScar> I’ve never seen someone who genuinely wants me dead since 3rd Life

<Renthedog> Same

<Docm77> You'd think that the fact that he came from a server that has limited respawns he'd treasure people's lives more, but that's not the case here apparently.

<falsesymmetry> He's a murderer, why would you think he gives a damn about others?

<Grian> why are you two so worried about this??

<joehillssays> we have infinite respawns, this server is made that way. X already said so

<iJevin> yea lol

<Iskall85> im still pissed but who cares if we die once or twice

<Grian> we kill each other a lot anyway :p

<falsesymmetry> ...True, death has no real consequences here but it still doesn't sit right with me.

<Xisuma> sigh

<Xisuma> Sure, 50% discount for every item in my shop, use them to bounce back

<Tango> X COMING IN CLUTCH FOR THE DAMAGE CONTROL HECK YEAH

<Xisuma> I’m waiting at my base, Purpled

<Purpled> kk geez

<Etho> well that was fun

<Grian> Same time next week?

<Xisuma> absolutely not

Chapter Text

[09:12 AM]

<Renthedog> hold on I just realized

<Renthedog> were False and Doc still there when Purpled arrived at your base, X??

<Renthedog> was kinda worried if they got in a fight because those two aren't exactly big fans of the dude :/

<GeminiTay> Did something happen to Doc??

<Renthedog> he's ok!!! But the bruise on his forehead is kinda worrying so I thought they had a fight;;

<Xisuma> No violence is allowed around my base. But even after I promised him to /.give the heads he still jumped at Doc and False so I suggested beating them in Uno instead

<Xisuma> we spent like 3 hours playing it

<cubfan135> classic Xisuma solution

<GeminiTay> Well I mean… that works

<Keralis1> without telling me?? We’re literally neighbors, shashwammy ;-;

<Xisuma> It was very late, Keralis

<Renthedog> That didn’t stop you from playing for three straight 3 hours!! I wanna play too dude :(

<cubfan135> So what was Doc’s bruise all about?

<Xisuma> ...Purpled threw a mending book at him

<Xisuma> I don't approve his actions but to be fair Doc kinda deserved it

<Purpled> who the fuck has three wild draw 5 cards and 3 reverse cards in a single deck this is bulllshit

<falsesymmetry> only Doc would cheat in Uno

<Purpled> hacks

<Docm77> You call it cheating but I call it luck and the result of calculating where each cards are using someone's way of shuffling cards

<Docm77> We've been playing Uno together for years, I can read both of False and Xisuma like an open book

<Purpled> Nerdge

<Purpled> the only book ur reading is the one i sent flying to ur stupid face

<Docm77> Say what you want, it's still my win

<Purpled> i swear im gonna stab u one day doc

<Renthedog> WHAT

<Renthedog> WHAT DID YOU SAY

<Purpled> im gonna stab him

<Renthedog> THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID

<Purpled> i literally said i want to stab him

<Renthedog> YOU CALLED HIM "DOC"

<Purpled> Yeah?

<Purpled> or did i switch it up with false

<Renthedog> KWHhjDDAHFALSE?????

<Keralis1> You called them by their names!

<GeminiTay> I‘ve never seen Purpled call someone by their names even tho it’s only been a few days :0

<joehillssays> what the heck! 

<joehillssays> Purpled never even referred to me as Joe yesterday

<joehillssays> so you're telling me we just need to play Uno together to make him call me by my name

<Purpled> oh i like that song

<joehillssays> what? 

<Purpled> call me when you want call me when you need

<Purpled> (from hit song montero)

<joehillssays> .. okay

<joehillssays> whatever you say

<falsesymmetry> I was genuinely surprised that he called me False too, considering that I haven’t heard him ever refer to Xisuma by his name even once. He called X everything besides his own name

<Renthedog> Who would’ve thought Purpled properly called the duo who disliked him the most by their names first! Not even X!

<Docm77> who would’ve thought indeed

<Docm77> I take back what I’ve said yesterday and the day before

<Docm77> seeing him trying so hard to harm someone is so funny. It’s like watching a very tired kitten with a butter knife

<falsesymmetry> except the butter knife is an actual sword, Doc

<Keralis1> thats a quick change of heart!!

<Purpled> bitch

<Purpled> well i’ll take nothing back bc im actually gonna kick your ass

<Renthedog> how do you feel about this X??

<Xisuma> I don’t feel particularly bothered with it but it’ll be nice if people start calling me by my actual name.

<Keralis1> :(

<Xisuma> Not you Keralis you are wonderful and I appreciate you lots

<Keralis1> :D

<joehillssays> i am still seething over the name thing but anyways do you have any plans today, Purpled?

<Renthedog> I wanna hang out with you too sometime dude!

<Purpled> not rly, but i’d like to look around the server again or just gather more resources

<Xisuma> Want me or someone to accompany you?

<Purpled> no i’ll go alone

<Purpled> i’ll tell u if i need anything

<Xisuma> that's good :) 

<Purpled> I only said that so u wont start bitching

<Xisuma> WHY

<Xisuma> I did not need to hear that and you also did not need to say that

<Purpled> im jk im jk

<Purpled> gtg

<joehillssays> You can’t see it but I’m virtually patting your back right now, X

<Xisuma> thanks joe

<Renthedog> o7

<cubfan135> lol

[12:03 PM]

<Purpled> one thing that i noticed was the ridiculous amount of tiny buildings scattered around the server

<Purpled> why do people put their resources everywhere and not in their own base

<ImpulseSV> I think you’re referring to shops, it’s a common thing here so feel free to take what you need there in exchange for diamonds

<ImpulseSV> And you should TOTALLY visit iSoar and get yourself a pair of wings ;D

<Grian> Oh yeah!!! You can decide when we could do our elytra practice, Purpled!

<Iskall85> DON’T YOU DARE

<Iskall85> we’re trident bros since day 1 and you can't take that away from us

<Etho> facts

<Purpled> oh I’ve tried to travel using elytra a day before, but idk if i like it more than tridents tbh

<Iskall85> LET’S GOOOOOOOO

<Iskall85> BIG WIN

<Grian> WHYYY

<ImpulseSV> nooooo

<ImpulseSV> wings are cooler and it definitely helps you travel faster! 

<Purpled> i prefer staying on the ground, flying is a bit uncomfortable imo

<Grian> wings are great!! But hnghhh I guess that’s valid too

<Purpled> idk, it’s probably bc im not used to it yet

<Grian> Well, whatever it is, I’ll always be there to help you!

<ImpulseSV> Same here, Yes Wings Club would LOVE to have you :D

<Iskall85> that name is completely a ripoff from us btw

<Iskall85> visit our base if you want shiny badges

<Purpled> lmao

<Purpled> how do you get stuff btw

<Purpled> do i need to contact the shop owner or

<Grian> no need, there should be instructions about the purchase around there so you can help yourself!

<Purpled> aren't you worried that someone might steal from your shops

<impulseSV> no way! We have gentleman rules here, and hermits don't steal

<Grian> most of the time anyway <3

<Purpled> aight

<Xisuma> Purpled that was my elytra that you used yesterday

<Xisuma> please give it back

<Purpled> omf

<Purpled> i forgor 💀

<Purpled> wait

<Iskall85> LMAO

[03:05 PM]

<Purpled> so uh

<Purpled> I figured if i do have to stay here for a while

<Purpled> is there any plot of land that I could build in?

<Purpled> for my base

<Purpled> I can't stay at pinkhead guy's for too long

<Purpled> and i can't keep my valuables in shulker boxes and enderchest forever either

<Purpled> and uhhhh

<Purpled> can I even build here at all?

<Xisuma> Of course you can! Feel free to build anywhere, and I apologize I can’t fix the server portal sooner, guess you’re stuck with us until then. Hope it’s alright with you

<Purpled> nah it’s not a big deal

<Purpled> take ur time or whatever

<Xisuma> That’s good to hear :)

<Xisuma> Can't wait to see what your base would look like!

<Purpled> ur not gonna blow it up are u

<Xisuma> ??

<Xisuma> Of course I won't! Why would you think that?

<Purpled> nothing

<Purpled> ur blind now. u didn't see a thing. you cannot see my messages

<Xisuma> oh no

<GoodTimeWithScar> Do you need help with terraforming? Or materials?

<Purpled> nah im good 

<Purpled> actually

<Purpled> im gonna need a lot of blue, red, gray and green dyes

<joehillssays> I gotcha dw

<joehillssays> I have some leftover ink sacs

<joehillssays> and I've accidentally planted way more poppies, blue orchids and cacti that I'll ever need in my life 

<Purpled> oh

<Purpled> ok?

<Purpled> sure i’ll take it

<Purpled> kinda weirdly coincidental but much appreciated

<joehillssays> :)

[03:33 PM]

<ZombieCleo> who took my ink sacs

<joehillssays> imagine stealing lol cant be me

<ZombieCleo> YOU

[10:15 AM]

<Iskall85> WHO THE FUCK MADE A GIANT ASS STRUCTURE NEAR OUR BASE

<Xisuma> Language

<Iskall85> SORRY

<Iskall85> WHOMST THE FUCK MADE A GIANT ASS STRUCTURE NEAR OUR BASE

<Iskall85> DID IT SPAWN OVERNIGHT

<Stressmonster101> ISKALL

<Iskall85> SORRY

<Etho> lol

<Iskall85> did you build it, etho??????? I thought we’re using mainly wood for our base!

<Iskall85> flying gray and purple saucer aint it but i LOVE the build 

<Iskall85> i think it looks familiar

<VintageBeef> I didn’t know you like purple, Etho

<Etho> i literally did not build that

<Etho> what gave you the idea

<Iskall85> OH IT'S A UFO

<Iskall85> how did i not realize that

<Etho> ur looking at it from the bottom. It's even nicer if u look from above or far away

<Purpled> oh that’s mine, i finished making the ufo exterior an hour ago

<Purpled> I didn’t know it’s that close to ur base

<Purpled> I’ll relocate, might take a whole while to take it down though

<Purpled> or just feel free to blow it up

<Purpled> sorry

<Iskall85> NONONO we dont mind at all!!!

<Iskall85> right etho?

<Etho> yeah sure. We’re all planning to live close to each other in one continent this season after all

<Purpled> u sure?

<Iskall85> yep yep

<Purpled> no take backs

<Iskall85> IM SERIOUS PURPLED WE’RE OKAY WITH IT

<Purpled> aight

<VintageBeef> Guess our builds are matching this season!

<Purpled> oh ur the one with the spaceship thing right

<VintageBeef> Yep :D

<Purpled> u know what’s up

<Purpled> my build isnt nearly as big as yours though

<VintageBeef> You don’t have to worry about that, as long as you’re happy with what you’ve made it’s all good :)

<Purpled> uh ok

<Etho> do you need help with the interior

<Purpled> uh

<Purpled> i guess?

<Purpled> yea i could use some help if ur offering

<Iskall85> IM GOING TOO

<Etho> omw

<Stressmonster202> aw <3

<VintageBeef> well that went well

<Xisuma> surprisingly

[11:01 AM]

<Renthedog> oh Purpled made a UFO?????

<Renthedog> @Docm77 it aligns with our aesthetic

<Docm77> true

<Xisuma> please don’t drag him in your sci-fi shenanigans he’s barely been here for a week

<Renthedog> :c

<Docm77> :c

<Xisuma> please

[09:30 AM]

<Tango> HEKLPSPPPPPPP

<Tango> HSLP

<Tango> OH GOD

<cubfan135> ?? what happened??

<BdoubleO100> RHE KID IS PUTTING SIGHNS EVEYWHERE CLAIMING RHAT OUR BUOLDINGS ARE HIS

<Keralis1> HE TOOK THE OWNERSHIP OF HALF OF PASS AND GAS STATIONS WE HAVE

<iJevin> LMAOOOOOOOOO

<Tango> SOMEONE STOP HIM

<Purpled> did you put signs with your full names and have legal documents that stated that these buildings are yours?

<Purpled> I don't think so

<Tango> WE LITERALLY SAW YOU TOOK DOWN OUR SIGNS AND PUT YOURS SAYING "LAND OWNED BY PURPLED"

<Purpled> you have no proof of that claim

<Purpled> And it is true that it is owned by Purpled

<iJevin> what are you, a landlord?

<Purpled> kinda but better and cooler

<Keralis1> ISN'T THAT BORDERLINE A CRIME????

<Purpled> eh sure if you wanna think of it that way

<Purpled> I've been to jail before and I'll do it again

<Xisuma> .

<Xisuma> Purpled please meet me at my base again soon. We need to talk about this… thing that you do

<Purpled> what do you mean

<Purpled> i am a legitimate real estate agent

<BdoubleO100> YOU'RE BARELY 12

<Purpled> I AM SEVENTEEN

<Xisuma> Purpled, I'll help you make your storage system if you stop this right now

<Xisuma> You have done enough

<Purpled> YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<Purpled> omw

<Purpled> the land is still mine tho

<Tango> JSH#SNAKD*BSNL$

<Xisuma> oh goodness me

[05:34 PM]

<MumboJumbo> Does anyone have shroomlights?

<Purpled> I have 3 stacks in a chest in the outpost below the UFO that I don’t use

<MumboJumbo> Fantastic! How many diamonds for 2 stacks?

<Purpled> wtf just take it lmao

<Purpled> i put it near the door

<MumboJumbo> Oh? Are you sure you’re gonna give it to me?

<MumboJumbo> Just like that?

<Purpled> do u want it or not?

<MumboJumbo> I want it but you should get profit from that! That’s how we work around here!

<Purpled> profit huh

<Purpled> usually people just kill each other and take stuff from their dead body

<Purpled> I was actually surprised you asked first

<MumboJumbo> i

<MumboJumbo> okay???????????

<Grian> THAT’S TERRIBLE

<Xisuma> who are the “people” you speak of

<Purpled> no one important

<Grian> Purpled, you know you can talk to us right? :(

<Purpled> yes yes I know

<Purpled> see u guys r cool except u do get points taken off for being british

<Grian> wh

<Xisuma> what does being British have anything to do with this

<Etho> lol

<Etho> how about Canadians

<Purpled> they're cool ig

<VintageBeef> :D

<Etho> :D

<GeminiTay> :D

<VintageBeef> This is a victory for us

<GeminiTay> big W

<MumboJumbo> ...I’m just gonna leave 2 diamonds in a chest for the shroomlights

<Purpled> kk

<Purpled> i’ll consider actually selling stuff after this

[10:11 AM]

<Grian> EVERYONE!

<Grian> You should visit Purpled’s new shop near his UFO construction! You might find something that you like :D

<Grian> he said the shop has been open for a while but he forgot to tell anyone, so I thought I'd announce it instead!

<Renthedog> Ooooooo

<Tango> im broke tho :(

<joehillssays> its not about what you buy its about the journey

<Etho> but i just bought 32 diamonds worth of enchanted diamond pants from him yesterday

<Iskall85> ETHO?????

<Iskall85> HOW AND WHY

<falsesymmetry> Couldn’t you just craft a full set of diamond armour and buy books with less diamonds than that?!

<Etho> listen

<Etho> you don’t understand

<Etho> i could physically feel my diamonds jumping out of my inventory and im only a few blocks away from the shop

<iJevin> I CAN VOUCH

<iJevin> I DIDN'T PLAN TO BUY ANYTHING AND WAS JUST THERE TO WINDOWSHOP BUT HE WOULDN’T LET ME LEAVE WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING

<Renthedog> purp told me i could summon aliens using his candles :( i accidentally burnt half of my log farm

<Docm77> goddammit 

<Keralis1> he made me pay a stack of diamonds for a shulker box D:

<Welsknight> Didn’t he say something about shulkers being extremely rare in his old world?

<Xisuma> Yes, Purpled said that going to the End and making farms (except plants and animals) aren’t allowed on his server. Which kind of explains why his way of pricing things is way off, especially on our server

<Zedaph> that sucks!

<MumboJumbo> I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE A WORLD WITH NO AUTOMATIC MEGA FARMS WHAT

<Grian> we know, mumbo

<MumboJumbo> THAT SOUNDS TERRIFYING HOW COULD THEY LIVE WITH THAT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

<Iskall85> WE KNOW MUMBO

<Xisuma> I say just leave it be for a while, let him have fun with this.

<Xisuma> We’re all rich in diamonds and materials and he only started his shop a couple of days ago, so this is a way to let him catch up with us quickly

[03:20 PM]

<Xisuma> I changed my mind

<Xisuma> we shouldn’t have told him about the economy

<joehillssays> X be like *points child* he’s a master of psychological manipulation

<Xisuma> everyone’s shops are in shambles joe

<joehillssays> at least he gets the profit

<Xisuma> We’re gonna talk about this later

<Xisuma> and who taught him those salesman lines it sounds like it's rehearsed

<GoodTimeWithScar> whoops

<Xisuma> Scar…

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

'2 worsties'
members: 
<ZombieCleo>
<joehillssays>

[10:26 PM]

<ZombieCleo> can i stay in your base for tonight? forgot to light up my floors and there are mobs everywhere

<joehillssays> i barely have a base yet but ok

<joehillssays> bbuy me purp's baked potatoes while ur at it

<ZombieCleo> I don't even have enough money to stay at anyone's base for rent that's literally why im asking YOU for a place to sleep in

<ZombieCleo> and the kid charges 5 diamonds for a stack of those potatoes wtf

<joehillssays> then yaint allowed

<ZombieCleo> did you seriously just use the word yaint

<ZombieCleo> unironically

<joehillssays> yes

<ZombieCleo> why.

<joehillssays> gotta start using gen z terms so purpled wanna hang out w me

<ZombieCLleo> I THOUGHT YOUR THE GRAMMAR SMARTASS IN THSI FAMILY

<ZombieCleo> WHY MUST YOU DO THIS

<joehillssays> *you’re *this

<ZombieCleo> sdkjfhjgk

<ZombieCleo> i feel like your typing has become more distorted each passing day

<joehillssays> Sure, I will return to my old typing style if that is what you wanted.

<ZombieCleo> GOD

<ZombieCleo> look I rly need a place to stay for the night

<joehillssays> baked potatoes

<ZombieCleo> LISTEN to me for a sec here

<joehillssays> 1 second

<ZombieCleo> no not literally u dork i havent finished typinf

<joehillssays> i have v lil attention span

<joehillssays> but im a delight to be around

<ZombieCleo> I thought u came back to type properly

<joehillssays> Okay, Zombie Cleo.

<ZombieCleo> what is wrong with you

<joehillssays> what's up with you forgetting to lit up ur base and completely endangering urself

<ZombieCleo> i

<ZombieCleo> joe whats the matter man i thought we were cool

<ZombieCleo> please help a gal out

<joehillssays> potatos

<ZombieCleo> thats it im blocking you

<joehillssays> no wait sorry i have something else i wanna say

<joehillssays> it's rly important

<ZombieCleo> i swear if you say something stupid

<joehillssays> bogos binted

<ZombieCleo> cringe

<joehillssays> YOU’RE cringe

<ZombieCleo> NO YOU ARE

[MAIN CHAT Log]

[11:48 PM]

<Zedaph> I got this question from Tango this morning and ive been thinking bout it

<Zedaph> what's the most morbid thing you've thought about today?

<Welsknight> what in the world were you guys talking about in broad daylight

<Zedaph> shhh just answer

<Zedaph> for science

<hypnotizd> ohhhhhh

<Xisuma> is it just me or you guys are starting to only sleep so late?

<Xisuma> I remember the time when I barely see any messages pop up after 7 PM

<cubfan135> no idea

<Tango> shhh just answer

<Zedaph> the more sleep deprived everyone is, the better

<ImpulseSV> that is true, yeah

<PearlescentMoon> I think the Boatem people are all still awake bc we just finished our meeting an hour ago aaaaa

<GoodTimeWithScar> I'm still wide awake! I was actually about to sleep in a bit

<Grian> Me too!

<Zedaph> guyssss answer my question

<hynotizd> wait lemme think

<MumboJumbo> ah

<MumboJumbo> every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day, but every year you pass your death day and have no clue

<Grian> NO

<Grian> go to sleep mumbo

<hypnotizd> no no let him speak

<MumboJumbo> A firetruck is actually a watertruck because they store water

<Welsknight> never thought of it that way

<iJevin> imagine if the firetruck is actually the evil twin who store fire instead and start forest fires

<cubfan135> what do you think, X

<Xisuma> I don’t know anything about an evil twin, what are you on about

<Welsknight> same haha

<MumboJumbo> If you're in a living room and you pass away, did you die or are you just knocked out

<Grian> omg mumbo stop

<PearlescentMoon> Well I see that you’re sitting on top of your RV and not in your living room right now so what is that about to make you

<GoodTimeWithScar> Mumbo, why are you outside? It’s cold out there!

<Grian> mumbo if the boatem crew bands together to watch the stars with you will you stop

<Grian> this is hurting my brain

<MumboJumbo> Ice cubes float around in a pool of their own blood

<GoodTimeWithScar> WOAH

<cubfan135> please don't say that while I’m working with ice

<iJevin> once you break one the water aka the blood in this situation, it will become one with the other ice blocks

<hypnotizd> blood blanket for the whole family

<cubfan135> all of you are terrible human beings

<iJevin> jokes on u im not a human HA

<Welsknight> wow

<MumboJumbo> both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles

<Grian> wait that fact is actually pretty cool

<MumboJumbo> when we read books, we're just looking at a dead tree and hallucinating

<Grian> nvm

<hypnotizd> nice try pal but i don't read

<hypnotizd> that means nothing to me

<MumboJumbo> there's no such thing as nothing because there's technically something that would be nothing. And you can't be doing nothing because you're always doing something

<hypnotizd> wait what

<Welsknight> Since when did you become a personification of shower thoughts?

<MumboJumbo> but Zedaph asked what we've been thinking this whole day?

<Zedaph> to everyone besides Mumbo, hbu

<Zedaph> I’ve gathered enough data

<Tango> say nothing else, mumbo

<MumboJumbo> :(

<Grian> THANK GOD

<ImpulseSV> The fact that we can't fully control our own organs and bodily functions is like we don't have admin privileges of our own bodies, which makes me think X can actually bend his legs backwards or something

<Xisuma> I assure you, I cannot do that.

<ImpulseSV> kinda disappointing tho :/

<Tango> see if Impy is the one saying that kind of thing i KNOW that he's just saying that for shock value

<Tango> mumbo however

<Grian> dead serious

<MumboJumbo> we're sharing our thoughts! Why won't you listen to mine??

<GoodTimeWithScar> No offense but no one wants to have a major existential crisis rn

<PearlescentMoon> anyways, in a more wholesome note

<PearlescentMoon> if ur pet makes a specific noise around for ur attention, that's them naming you 

<GoodTimeWithScar> what so you're saying Jellie calls me with a stupid name like krrrr and expect me to go get her

<Grian> LOL

<Purpled> wait u have a cat

<GoodTimeWithScar> The one and only!

<Purpled> send pics

<GoodTimeWithScar> Why don’t you just visit Boatem? We’d love to have you here!

<PearlescentMoon> Ohhhh true, you can bring Dogchamp with you too :D

<ImpulseSV> sleepover at Scar's?

<Grian> IM DOWN

<Purpled> already on my way

<Grian> mumbo get down from treesa

<MumboJumbo> wait

<Zedaph> aww done already? I barely got data from the others besides Mumbo

<hypnotizd> do YOU have any cursed shower thoughts

<Zedaph> popcorn is literally a busted nut

<Xisuma> Everyone, please go to sleep. For your own sake.

<Xisuma> also popcorn is from grain

<Xisuma> Not nut

<Xisuma> But there are popcorns who have nuts in them

<GoodTimeWithScar> popcorns are made of Grians?

<MumboJumbo> oh no

<Grian> IM RELATED TO POPCORNS?? 

<Xisuma> Please go to sleep. You guys are seeing things already

<Zedaph> ooooooo

<Zedaph> X we could talk about the making of the universe all night if ur up for a good time ;)

[Xisuma muted Zedaph]

<Tango> XISUMAVOID YOU CANNOT SILENCE ME FOREVER

<Tango> ^that was zed

[Xisuma muted their MAIN CHAT notifications]

<iJevin> dang

Chapter Text

[09:11 AM]

<Purpled> i have an announcement

<Purpled> i’ve conquered boatem inc

<Docm77> Finally

<Purpled> i am now the new CEO

<MumboJumbo> no he is not

<ImpulseSV> he deserves to be

<PearlescentMoon> Did we seriously decide who’s the CEO of this godforsaken place over a game of monopoly?

<ImpulseSV> scar’s idea

<PearlescentMoon> Scar's ideas are usually not good ideas

<GoodTimeWithScar> but it builds up tension! Who wants to play Monopoly without a prize?

<Grian> monopoly already ruins lives and friendships yet you wanna make it worse by making it MORE competitive???? ??? ? ?? 

<xBCrafted> Trueing

<xBCrafted> it almost never ends well

<GoodTimeWithScar> We didn’t die a single time, did we?

<Xisuma> I was surprised actually, I expected one or two people would bite the dust when I read the word ‘Monopoly’

<ImpulseSV> I confiscated his weapons when we played dw

<Xisuma> thank god

<MumboJumbo> No it is not a ‘thank god’ moment I lost my CEO privileges!!

<ImpulseSV> What are the CEO privileges?

<MumboJumbo> bragging rights as the coolest one in Boatem!

<PearlescentMoon> Weird because I thought that’s my title already B)

<xBCrafted> You’re always cool, Pearl!!

<PearlescentMoon> <3

<MumboJumbo> :((((

<Xisuma> How was the sleepover? Where are you now, Purpled?

<Purpled> omw back to my base

<Purpled> Dogchamp needs a bath

<Grian> Be careful on your way back! 

<MumboJumbo> Those two were so hyperactive despite it being literally midnight…

<Purpled> Dogchamp has never seen any other animals since forever so

<MumboJumbo> Why’s that?

<PearlescentMoon> I swear if your admin banned pets too I will literally throw hands

<Purpled> no no they're not banned, even the admin had a pet horse before

<xBCrafted> …'had'?

<Purpled> i don’t exactly know how it happened but yeah his horse died

<Purpled> pets dont live long there unfortunately

<Purpled> it counts as a weakness and/or a leverage

<Purpled> and boy my server likes leverage oh-so much

<Purpled> not to mention there are more than one serial pet killers on the server

<Purpled> mostly for the heck of it

<MumboJumbo> wh

<xBCrafted> WOAH THERE

<GoodTimeWithScar> WHWHATDFKWJKk?”;?k;’SF??? ?

<Docm77> christ

<Docm77> I have the urge to hide Vigenere immediately 

<Purpled> dw im not one of them

<Purpled> sick bastards

<ImpulseSV> I swear every time you randomly revealed your tragic backstory it took 10 years off my lifespan

<Purpled> ok and?

<Purpled> suffer

<ImpulseSV> so mean :(

<GoodTimeWithScar> OH

<GoodTimeWithScar> SPEAKING OF PETS

<GoodTimeWithScar> DOES ANYONE SEE JELLIE ANYWHERE

<MumboJumbo> Is she missing?

<GoodTimeWithScar> She didn’t come to me when I called for her for breakfast :c Then Purpled told us that story and it made me anxious

<Purpled> wow that’s crazy

<Purpled> hope u find her soon

<GoodTimeWithScar> Purpled………

<Purpled> what idk what ur talking about

<GoodTimeWithScar> The truth please

<Purpled> skjdhfskjg

<Purpled> FINE dogchamp likes her a lot ok, he appreciates jellie’s company

<Purpled> i’ll send her back after a whole day

<Purpled> or sure i’ll bring her back if u rly want to

<MumboJumbo> Oh dear

<PearlescentMoon> aw

<GoodTimeWithScar> I’m not mad because you took Jellie, I’m sad that you took her away without telling me :(

<Purpled> Oof my bad

<Purpled> do u want her back

<GoodTimeWithScar> Depends on Jellie! If she wants to be with you and Dogchamp then sure, she’s an adventurer and hangs out outside of my base a lot anyway so I don’t mind!

<Purpled> Oh good

<Purpled> can I keep her forever then

<GoodTimeWithScar> No

<Purpled> worth the try

<Grian> LOOOOOOOOL

<GoodTimeWithScar> but just know that I’m always up for Dogchamp and Jellie playdate :D

<Purpled> pogg

[01:00 PM]

<joehillssays> Purpled called me Joe

<joehillssays> this is the best day of my life

<ZombieCleo> felt

<ImpulseSV> I’m just gonna quickly say that he already called every Boatem member by our names yesterday :)

<joehillssays> shhhhh

<joehillssays> calm down this is not a competition

<joehillssays> He’ll call people eventually when he’s comfortable

<ZombieCleo> says you who got upset bc he called doc and false first before u

<joehillssays> we don’t talk about that

<Purpled> bruh im literally right here

<Xisuma> sigh

<Xisuma> Are you guys with Purpled right now?

<ZombieCleo> Not anymore, he visited my gym and Joe happened to be in the vicinity

<Purpled> we had this conversation before but why the fuck would you call candles fucking ‘water bottles’

<ZombieCleo> because they ARE water bottles

<ZombieCleo> it’s the truth

<Purpled> im gonna lit your water bottles on fire

<ZombieCleo> pls don’t bc that’d be bad for my business

<joehillssays> but our economy is ruined already so

<Purpled> i still dont understand how and why that happened

<Purpled> like SO easily

<ZombieCleo> CHANGE YOUR PRICE!!

<Purpled> FUCK OFF MY PRICES ARE REASONABLE

<ZombieCleo> I DON’T WANNA GIVE YOU 2 NETHERITE INGOTS FOR A SINGLE MENDING BOOK

<iJevin> WAIT WTF HE RAISED THE PRICE?? THAT WAS 2 STACKS OF DIAMONDS BEFORE

<ZombieCleo> I SWEAR HE KEEPS RAISING IT EVERY DAMN SECOND

<Xisuma> Watch your mouths

<ZombieCleo> NOT THE TIME X SHUT UP

<Purpled> L

<Xisuma> Your language is very colorful but it’d be wonderful if you just… tone it down a bit

<Xisuma> And what’s wrong Cleo, I thought you’ve sworn off using curse words?

<ZombieCleo> only around you

<Xisuma> WHAT

<joehillssays> cleo curses like a sailor 24/7 you just never caught her doing that lol

<iJevin> xisuma if I send you list of swear words can you tell me which ones I can use

<iJevin> i wanna be part of the cool kids

<Xisuma> NO.

<Xisuma> AND YOU ALREADY SWEAR TOO SO WHAT’S THE POINT

<iJevin> geez okok

<ZombieCleo> ur no fun X

<joehillssays> Swearing is also a form of expressing oneself

<joehillssays> powerful

<joehillssays> effective

<joehillssays> straight to the point

<Purpled> just letting you know I only swear when provoked

<Xisuma> I find it hard to believe.

<Xisuma> And about the pricing in your shop, why don’t you consider giving your customers discounts? I can help you set the price and tell you which items are rare or hard to find on this server so you can fix your price.

<Purpled> ooooo sure

<Purpled> im at my UFO base

<Xisuma> On my way

[08:33 PM]

<Purpled> i have one diamond horse armor left, it’s 5% off now bc im nice like that

<Purpled> who wants to buy it

<BdoubleO100> ME ME ME ME ME

<BdoubleoO100> wait no I can’t go, gotta do my chores >:(

<Purpled> if no one’s getting it tonight I’ll save it for u

<Purpled> pay me tomorrow

<BdoubleO100> AYYY

<Xisuma> What kind of chores? It's late, so you better finish it quickly.

<BdoubleoO100> awwkayyyyy

<BdoubleoO100> i gotta wash the blender and im not lookin forward to ittttt

<BdoubleoO100> i dont even know how to wash it!!!

<BdoubleoO100> Oh!

<BdoubleoO100> I just have the best idea brb

<Docm77> ....That can't be good

<Tango> he's just gonna wash the dishes lol whats the worst that could happen

<GeminiTay> slippery floor could lead to broken bones

<GeminiTay> he lost his footing and fell down, head bashing to the counter

<GeminiTay> broken glass that could hurt his palms

<GeminiTay> stray soap flying to his eyes, blinding him

<GeminiTay> small organisms swimming into his body through his nails if he dips his fingers into the clogged sink water for too long even though the chances are very slim, but not impossible

<GeminiTay> a snake coming up to the cabinet under the sink because they're attracted to humidity

<GeminiTay> oh no I've sent a lot srry

<Renthedog> woah woah calm down there!

<cubfan135> Living next to Ren and Doc really changed you huh

<GeminiTay> I have become paranoid

<Renthedog> we’re not that bad ok :(

<GeminiTay> Says you </3

<PearlescentMoon> no no I can relate

<PearlescentMoon> Boatem people die at least ten times everyday

<PearlescentMoon> only Scar and Mumbo could die from fall damage from falling off of their beds

<MumboJumbo> You’re right but you shouldn’t say it

<Grian> say it with all your heart Pearl!!!!!!

<BdoubleoO100> IM BACK

<Xisuma> I dont even wanna know what you were up to

<BdoubleoO100> well too bad bc IM GONNA TELL YOU ANYWAY!!

<Tango> uh oh

<BdoubleoO100> OK SO my line of logic was well if i put the sponge in the blender, when i turn it on the sponge will spin around and scrub the blender for me so I don't have to spend ages cleaning it

<BdoubleoO100> thats not what happened though :///

<BdoubleoO100> -(image.sent) - [a blurry picture of Bdubs’ blender. There's something like yellow and green blob mixed with soap in inside it] -

<BdoubleoO100> now i cant wash the rest of the dishes bc that was the last sponge

<Docm77> idiot

<Xisuma> How about... not doing the dishes at all. Do your laundry, for example?

<BdoubleoO100> the last time I did laundry my pants are now ten times smaller!!

<Xisuma> wh

<Xisuma> Or maybe sweeping? Mopping the floor?

<BdoubleoO100> one time I tried to sweep the floor it caught fire bc i swept too fast!!!!!!

<Xisuma> i

<Xisuma> How did you even do that.

<Keralis1> he’s a force of nature :D

<Xisuma> Perhaps just basic cleaning, like putting things back to where it was?

<BdoubleoO100> OOHHH!!!! Like tetris, right??? I remember i've stacked up my clocks and shulker on top of the clean dishes on the counter so I can sweep!!

<Xisuma> wh

<Xisuma> .

<Xisuma> i

<Keralis1> you broke him, bubbles!!!!

<BdoubleoO100> WHAT DID I DO

<Etho> how can someone be so stupid im cryinf

<VintageBeef> How in the world did you manage to survive all those seasons

<Keralis1> shhhh dont be mean 2 him he's trying his best

<Docm77> too bad his best isnt good enough

<BdoubleoO100> HEY!!!!!!

<Xisuma> I'm resisting the urge to fly to your place right now. I can't believe that you, in fact, don’t know how to do these things. I swear I will go there to give you lessons

<cubfan135> wow

<Grian> X youre so hardcore

<MumboJumbo> It's called having basic human compassion

<Grian> still hardcore!

<Tango> imagine getting private tutoring from xisumavoid himself

<BdoubleoO100> no need x!!!! i'll ask etho he’ll help me clean!!! We’re gonna meet up tomorrow to make the horse track anyway!!!

<Etho> no yuck

<Etho> i only agreed on making the horse track, not being a housemaid

<Xisuma> Knowing how to do proper house tasks will greatly help you later in the future.

<BdoubleoO100> alright x!!!!!!!!

<Keralis1> At least this... gets a happy conclusion?? good luck learning basic chores, bubbles!

<Tango> I guess lmao

<Welsknight> Good evening. Does anyone know how to open a jar of pickles?

<Xisuma> Oh my God.

<Purpled> AHAHAHAHHAHAGHAH

[08:02 AM]

<Grian> wait it just occurred to me

<Grian> So you're telling me, Welsknight Gaming, one of the best fighters in Hermitcraft, the person who could survive the longest fighting against Purpled, CANNOT open a jar of pickles?

<Welsknight> Why must you say it like that

<Purpled> LMAO

<GoodTimeWithScar> kinda curious though, how did you open it yesterday?

<Welsknight> The pickles were Gem’s, she was scared it'd break if I put too much force when opening it so she gave it to Impulse. Impulse tried to open it with his teeth but failed, so he brought it to the YWS (an amazing group btw) cafeteria to find an item to fix our problem

<Welsknight> he tripped over Gem’s pile of shulker boxes and dropped the jar. Impulse said it was still okay for us to eat it from the floor so we did

<ImpulseSV> Wels I thought I told you to keep it between us

<Zedaph> Impulse you’re so deranged ily

<Tango> sheds a single tear

<Xisuma> i

<Xisuma> what?

<Xisuma> wh

<Xisuma> H

<Welsknight> X ARE YOU DYING

<Welsknight> I'M SORRY FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO OPEN A JAR OF PICKLES 

<GeminiTay> HSHSJDHDHSJS

[06:20 PM]

<Purpled> ren wanna play 8ball

<Renthedog> hnghhhhh i cant rn dude

<Renthedog> I'm on a mission

<Purpled> does it involve eggs?

<Renthedog> YES HOW DID YOU KNOW IM CLEANING MY CHICKEN FARM

<Purpled> telepathy

<Renthedog> THATS SO COOL

<Xisuma> don't believe him. You literally said in chat you're gonna fix your farm a couple of hours ago.

<joehillssays> if ur having eggs on any other days besides Sundays ur invalid

<VintageBeef> What if he just likes eggs in general?

<joehillssays> well i guess you just have to be prepared to die

<VintageBeef> Oh no

<Purpled> joe wanna play 8ball

<joehillssays> absolutely

<Grian> You're not going to ask me? :(

<Purpled> No ur british

<Grian> ;(((

<MumboJumbo> Have you ever told us about the reason why you have a personal vendetta against British people?

<Purpled> shut up your mother buys you mega bloks instead of legos

<MumboJumbo> HUH

<Grian> perhaps we haven’t reached level 5 friendship to unlock that part of the backstory yet :c

<Purpled> LMAO

<Purpled> just know that it sorta started with a very annoying british kid on my old server, that’s about it

<Purpled> im cool with the other british kid though

<VintageBeef> Do you want to tell us who these British kids are?

<Purpled> nahh

<Purpled> no one important

<Xisuma> This is the second time you said that and I have a growing suspicion that it’s not true.

<Purpled> pffffft

<Purpled> ok so from now on, british ppl dni

<Xisuma> wh

<Grian> noooooooo

[10:30 AM]

Purpled has completed the challenge [Cover Me in Debris]

<Etho> gg

<cubfan135> gg

<iJevin> woooo gg

<hypnotizd> that’s the scariest notif I’ve ever seen in my life

<Stressmonster101> GG!

<Docm77> Already? Didn’t you just come on the server last week?

<Purpled> i had a few netherite ingots on day 2 but i used them for my tools first

<Purpled> i only remembered to upgrade my armors now

<xBCrafted> That is indeed terrifying

<xBCrafted> hope you put those items to good use :D

<Purpled> No promises

<xBCrafted> :’D

<Renthedog> Ohhhhh gg dude! respect the grind

<Purpled> shut up im still angry @ u

<Renthedog> WHY

<Purpled> ur naming skills are awful

<Renthedog> but…. pew pew :( totally not a lightsaber :( choppy boi :( spon :(

<Purpled> horrible

<Purpled> absolutely horrible

<Purpled> but i hate the fact that i cant come up with better names even more

<iJevin> LMAOOOO

<Renthedog> lol!

<Purpled> it’s not fair bc i dont usually name them fuck off

<Renthedog> well you'll think of something eventually, dude! :D

<Purpled> i hate it here

<iJevin> well u know what u should do

<Purpled> kill ren again?

<iJevin> no dummy

<iJevin> i mean i won’t stop you but that’s not what i meant

<Renthedog> DUDE

<iJevin> LOL

<iJevin> u either name them something weirder or leave it be for the time being

<Purpled> agh

<Purpled> too much work

<Purpled> dont wanna think abt that

<Docm77> you said ‘too much work’ but spent hours getting those ancient debris

<Purpled> not my fault that i’m good at setting my priorities straight

<cubfan135> what method do you usually use to get ancient debris?

<Purpled> using beds ofc

<Renthedog> oof why beds? They're so tricky to use D: I could give you my TNT if you want

<Purpled> nah im not a pleb

<Purpled> plus beds have larger blast radius than TNT

<Stressmonster100> Oooooh are you planning to sell debris/netherite ingots, Purpled? If not, perhaps you should consider!

<Purpled> i’ll think about it

<hypnotizd> i am still terrified by the fact that the child has a full set of op tools and armors

<Purpled> :)

<hypnotizd> WHAT DOES HTAT SMILE MEAN

<Purpled> omw to the horse head farm

<xBCrafted> please spare us

<Purpled> jk jk

<iJevin> Prayge

[01:34 PM]

<Iskall85> I WANT TO STRANGLE SOMEONE

<Etho> too much hassle

<Purpled> put poison in their food

<Xisuma> Do not put poison in their food

<Iskall85> i swear guardians kept giving me reasons to be pissed off everyday

<Stressmonster101> having trouble making farms? :(

<Etho> they're literally just fishes

<Iskall85> I AFK-ed here for like a whole day and the loots didn’t reach the amount i was expecting

<Iskall85> this order is an annoying one

<Welsknight> I already promised you diamonds for that order though. I really need sea lanterns

<Iskall85> no dw I’m not angry at u, I’m just pissed that i cant find whats wrong with my farm

<Iskall85> instead of 100k items/h it’s giving me around 70-80k items/h which is bullshit bc I SPENT DAYS AND NIGHTS AND DAYS  trying to perfect it so it’ll be 100% efficient

<Purpled> what the hell

<Purpled> our guardian farm doesn’t even work nearly as good

<Iskall85> im cracked

<Purpled> yeah i don’t doubt

<Stressmonster101> didn’t you say farms are illegal?? :0

<Purpled> Oh guardian farm and a few mob farms like spiders or skeletons were built because we had no choice, i think bc even the admin himself needs XP to fix his tools

<Purpled> they're inevitable necessities

<Iskall85> ooooo wanna see me fix my guardian farm? So you know that I’m the BEST at making farms ;D

<Purpled> sure send me coords

<Purpled> I gotta see this myself

<Docm77> We have a wither farm too if you’re interested.

<Purpled> AEJSDHF#KDJ;G

<Purpled> WITHER FARM?

<Docm77> It’s fully functional. A couple of problems here and there so a few withers might escape but the rest is usable and gives great loot

<Renthedog> pffft just a couple of problems he said

<Purpled> WH

<Renthedog> if I remember correctly, you only got to see building exteriors right, Purpled? Have you actually entered one of our vaults before?

<Purpled> sdfsgf yeah i almost never went inside anyone's base

<Purpled> ive seen so many obvious redstone contraptions so when i see one i just fuck right off

<Purpled> bc even I understand that redstone is delicate and i dont wanna be an asshole by accident

<Tango> oi I have a farm too!! Do you want to see my copper and iron farm?

<iJevin> YOOOOOOOOOOO

<iJevin> wanna see my raid farm?

<iJevin> it’s the coolest thing EVER

<Iskall85> NO WTF

<Etho> if you’re gonna use tridents for the rest of the season then you should visit my drowned farm purpled, so u can help urself later on

<ImpulseSV> Hey we're promoting our farms now? I have hostile mob farms too :D

<xBCrafted> we got off on the wrong foot but let us re-introduce you to the Horse Head Farm!!

<hypnotizd> YES LET US GET OUR REDEMPTION 

<Xisuma> Speaking of farms, I have a witch and phantom farms if you're interested to know about the mechanic :)

<Iskall85> NOOOOO GO AWAY I ASKED HIM FIRST

<Purpled> ur all world class lunatics

<Purpled> how and why would you make those things

<Purpled> I would simply go mad

<MumboJumbo> It’s quite simple, really

<Purpled> monsters, the lot of you

<PearlescentMoon> Redstone is cool, but never underestimate builders especially! We could spend hours grinding for materials, building mountains, moving castles or do a complete 90 degree rotation if our builds face the wrong way

<Purpled> bestie that’s mental illness

<Docm77> I wouldn't say so, it IS a common occurance around here

<Keralis1> that’s a very ‘us’ and Pearl thing to do honestly!

<Purpled> yall insane

[04:56 PM]

<MumboJumbo> oh my goodness you guys I finally finished my storage I can't believe this

<Stressmonster101> congrats!

<ImpulseSV> Christmas came early for us then, I completed an annoying part of my factory today :’D

<Welsknight> oh, it is that time of the year already?

<VintageBeef> come on, it’s only September!

<falsesymmetry> we haven’t even gone through Halloween

<BdoubleO100> wee woo ewoo ewejsksdjdk

<Docm77> are you having a stroke?

<BdoubleO100>  I ASKED FOR A SWEET JACKET THIS CHRISTMAS IT HAS FUR AND EVERYTHIN FOR CHRISTMAS

<Etho> ok furry

<BdoubleO100> HHHSKDSLSK

<BdoubleO100> ETHO I WILL NOT HESITATE TO HURT YOU WHEN THE CHANCE IS GIVEN

<Etho> lies

<Stressmonster101> I'm still strugglin with what I’m about to ask for Christmas ;(

<GeminiTay> it’s still 4 months away guys….

<joehillssays> remember every time u mention christmas before December santa publicly executes another elf

<Stressmonster101> WHY D:

<Purpled> huh

<ZombieCleo> bullshit

<Purpled> how's he getting so many elves tho, like why so many just to kill them off all the time, and work around the clock for all of them kids like the slavedriver he is, it's also scary to overthink on how many he would have to have for that kind of work??

<Docm77> Plus it was said that he started on with only one family of elves, so how related would they be to each other and are they known inbred or something?

<Zedaph> oh and isn't non humanoid elf skin good, as in almost leather-y? At least that's what I read. What if they anticipated people talking about the holiday months before the actual day and use the elves to stock up the material they'll use for our presents

<Stressmonster101> ??{“#$??#???

<iJevin> what the heck u guys 

<joehillssays> dont ask questions u dont want the answers of.

<joehillssays> you are underestimating the weight your question carries

<Zedaph> GIVE US THE ANSWERS YA GOBLIN

<joehillssays> what's the magic word?

<Purpled> christmas

<Zedaph> Christmas

<Docm77> christmas

<falsesymmetry> I'm friends with psychopaths

<GoodTimeWithScar> is it too late to throw away my friendship card?

<joehillssays> yes

<Zedaph> you’re stuck with us

<Docm77> 25 psychopaths, 1 psychotic + cryptic little man (purpled)

<Purpled> HEY

<Purpled> YOU'RE BARELY TALLER THAN ME

<Keralis1> that could also be bubbles bc he puts ketchup on his cheesecake and only a madman would do that

<Tango> tru

<BdoubleO100> SCREW OFF

<TinFoilChef> I don't know if this could add to the conversation, but when elves die from natural causes, some of them would leave behind their candy canes as a gift for children to remember them by.

<Stressmonster101> ?? TFC??? ??!?! ??

<joehillssays> tfc just comes to the chat once in a blue moon, raises all kinds of hell, then dips

<GeminiTay> king behavior

<Docm77> 25 psychopaths, 1 psychotic + cryptic little man (TFC)

<Zedaph> christmas christmas christmas christmas 

<Stressmonster101> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOPPP

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘you are my daad oogie boogie woohgie’
members: 
<Xisuma>
<Tango>

[09:45 AM]

<Tango> Xisuma when can we prank the child

<Xisuma> what

<Xisuma> Why did you ask?

<Tango> idkkk

<Tango> from what we’ve seen so far Purpled is a very tense guy, u of all people should know

<Xisuma> Well, you’re right…

<Xisuma> He adjusts well and fits right in with the bunch, yet he almost never let his guards down around us so I do get what you mean.

<Tango> Yeah! I figured if we do a lil bit of trolling he’d calm down a bit :p But I feel like I should ask you first!

<Xisuma> You didn’t have to ask for my permission though.

<Xisuma> No one is stopping you

<Tango> LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO

<Xisuma> But I take no responsibility if you end up dying, losing your stuff, and becoming enemies for life with Purpled.

<Xisuma> ...Then again it’s just another normal day in Hermitcraft

<Tango> TRUEEEEEE

<Tango> Except the last part! Don’t worry X!! Purpled and I are best friends (real)

<Tango> and this prank isn’t even harmless so no hermit will die in the process <3

<Tango> I just want to get back from what he did to our Pass and Gas stations!!

<Xisuma> Whatever you say

<Xisuma> Don’t say I didn’t warn you

[MAIN CHAT Log]

[12:01 PM]

<Purpled> - (image.sent) - [a picture of multiple colorful hoodies on a purple bed]

<Purpled> WHO THE FUCK DYED MY HOODIES

<Tango> LMAOOOOOOOAOAOOAAOAO

<Purpled> YOU.

<Keralis1> oooooooh you’re in trouble, princess!

<Purpled> motherfucker dyed my hoodies in all colors EXCEPT purple

<Etho> Oh I can see you from our base

<Etho> hello Blued

<iJevin> LOL

<Purpled> alright whoever did this to me, prepare urself

<Tango> it’s a joke man!! 

<Zedaph> honestly it’s kinda funny

<Stressmonster100> Tango! You didn’t tell me the hoodies are for this D: Joe won’t be happy if he finds out what the dyes are for too :c

<Tango> LMAO SORRY STRESS

<Purpled> give me one reason why I shouldn't just kill you right now

<Tango> UHHGHHHHGHGFDK

<Tango> THIS IS NOT EXACTLY A TARGETED ATTACK

<Tango> IS THAT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR U??

<Zedaph> he was just in a silly goofy mood your honor

<Tango> YES TAHTS CORRECT

<Tango> I PRANKED GRIAN TOO FOR DAMAGE CONTROL

<Etho> what does that even mean

<Grian> this is not funny

<GoodTimeWithScar> omg is that you with a blue jumper

<GoodTimeWithScar> I just saw you flew out from your house

<Grian> this is a criminal offense

<MumboJumbo> but Grian, you’ve worn a blue jumper before!

<Grian> I don’t mind pranks but STILL

<Grian> WHY MUST YOU DO THIS

<Tango> I HAD LEFTOVER DYES AND I DIDNT WANNA WASTE THEM

<Zedaph> Purpled’s whole brand is the color purple and it’s literally on his name though

<Etho> cant believe u’ve done this

<Keralis1> But look at the bright side, purp and brian are matching now :D

<GoodTimeWithScar> True!

<Purpled> fuck you im switching to my business suit skin

<Etho> ohhhh business suit

<Etho> I can physically feel ur about to scam me again and I'm gonna run now bc ur like only 300 blocks away from me

<Purpled> Nonsense

<Purpled> I look very dapper

<Purpled> anyways tango ur dead to me

<Tango> !!!

<Tango> YOU SAID MY NAME

<Tango> ??? ??? ? ?? ?? ????

<Purpled> the calm before the storm

<Purpled> now prepare to die

<Tango> NOOOOOOOOOOO

<Tango> YOU CAN LITERALLY JUST RE-DYE IT TO PURPLE

<Keralis1> is pranking our ticket to make you call us properly? :D

<Purpled> sure if you want to die in a slow and painful death

<Keralis1> nevermind then

Tango was slain by Purpled using [totally not a lightsaber]

<Stressmonster101> D:

<Zedaph> LOL

<Etho> F

<MumboJumbo> F

<GoodTimeWithScar> F

<Grian> F

<Grian> also Tango, you're not getting away that easy :D

<Keralis1> uh oh

<GoodTimeWithScar> Top 10 pictures taken before disaster

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘you are my daad oogie boogie woohgie’
members: 
<Xisuma>
<Tango>

[12:15 PM]

<Xisuma> 'Purpled and I are best friends' you said lol

<Tango> SAJFKSDHSHUT UP X

<Tango> WE'RE GETTING THERE

Chapter Text

[08:45 AM]

<iskall85> X have u fixed the world portal yet

<iskall85> I miss being in vault hunters

<Stressmonter101> me too :( it’s been a while since the last time we visited...

<iskall85> yea and the nether portals are being weird 

<VintageBeef> Oh I was about to ask about the nether portals as well! I accidentally glitched to Jevin’s portal when I tried to return to my base...it happens at least once a day D:

<Grian> and our main portal tends to teleport us to either X or Beef’s base haha

<iskall85> doc and ren kept popping in to our base so i think their portal is somehow connected to mine and etho’s

<falsesymmetry> Same here, but mine sometimes goes to Stress’s base

<falsesymmetry> It’s been more than a week, is everything okay X?

<Xisuma> I’m 80% done fixing the nether portals, it took me longer than expected but it’ll be good to go by the end of the day, so worry not. 

<Stressmonster101> how about the world server portal??

<Xisuma> It’s a tricky one to handle because I never thought it could break in the first place, not to mention I specifically set this to be a private server and only I can whitelist players.

<Xisuma> Didn’t expect someone to get in without my permission honestly, I only allow world travels from the inside.

<Purpled> dont say that shit

<Purpled> i’ll feel bad for it

<Xisuma> No no, it’s not your fault! There’s no way I’d blame you for something that’s completely out of your control.

<Purpled> is the portal breaking rly not bc of me?

<Xisuma> I already said, you’re not the cause of it. If it's really you then it’d tell me immediately.

<Xisuma> You don’t have to worry about anything

<Purpled> ok

<Xisuma> Can you guys wait for a little bit too?

<Stressmonster101> Of course! We can wait forever even, so no rush :D

<Stressmonster101> right, Iskall?

<iskall85> hhhhhhnghhhsdhfkjhfg BUT

<iskall85> MY BABY

<Stressmonster101> Iskall :c

<iskall85> HHHHHHHHHH

<iskall85> sure :c

<falsesymmetry> You said no one can travel in or out, so does that mean we can still communicate with people from other servers?

<falsesymmetry> I keep getting error messages every time I try to send something

<Stressmonster101> ooooo you have a point!

<Xisuma> I’m not sure about that, I’ll look into it.

<Xisuma> You should be able to receive interserver messages though, only the world portal is broken. Or did the messaging system mess up too?

<VintageBeef> You might be onto something, I also can’t send messages :/

<Xisuma> Wait a minute, let me try something

<Xisuma> That’s strange, I can still send messages to Biffa. Took a while though

<Xisuma> Are you sure you guys can’t send messages?

<iskall85> probably just admin things

<iskall85> op

<Xisuma> Convenient, but that doesn’t sound good.

<Purpled> if it’s still possible for u, then can u send anything to Hypixel?

<Xisuma> The last time I checked, Hypixel is still under maintenance, unfortunately.

<Purpled> “still”??

<Xisuma> Yes, I checked it 2-3 days ago and it’s inaccessible.

<Grian> Probably a bug? Server lag or something similar?

<Purpled> ?? but that's weird, they don't usually take this long to fix bugs etc

<Purpled> Hypixel had improved a lot over the past few years

<Xisuma> Well, I wouldn't know that... I haven't checked it in years

<Xisuma> sending messages between worlds is difficult to do as of now but I can try it.

<Purpled> cool

<Xisuma> Do you want to send a message to your friends on your old server? I’ll see what I can do.

<Purpled> the only friend I fully trusted on that server is worshipping an evil mind controlling egg and i found out about it when it's too late, now he’s a wanted criminal. I haven't seen them in ages and i still dont know whether or not he’s broken free from that weirdass cult

<Purpled> oh they’re also one of the pet killers ive mentioned before

<Stressmonster101> D:

<Grian> whAT

<iskall85> WTF 

<falsesymmetry> you're joking.

<Purpled> dead serious, literally has no reason to lie fr

<Purpled> so no i dont have anyone i can msg there rn

<Xisuma> ...Understandable, we definitely need to talk about it later. Anything to Hypixel? Anyone?

<Purpled> yeah i wanna msg walli

<Xisuma> you can come to my base so it'll be easier for both of us

<Purpled> omw omw

<Stressmonster101> ??? Are we just gonna ignore that???

<Stressmonster101> mind control?? wanted criminals??? KILLING INNOCENT PETS???

<iskall85> to be fair i think we've had something similar to that before iirc

<iskall85> we're no better lmao

<VintageBeef> or worse

<Grian> shhh we have 3 new hermits this season, stay cool :D

<Stressmonster101> asddfdksf

<GeminiTay> errm

<PearlescentMoon> oh wow

[09:09 AM]

<Renthedog> oooooo what kind of message did you write to your friend, Purpled?

<GeminiTay> Isn't that kind of invasive?;;

<Renthedog> oh I didn’t even consider that!! Sorry my dude D:

<Purpled> nah it's fine

<Purpled> it’s nothing special really

<Xisuma> His exact message was 'hey walli im kinda stuck on someone's server so it might take me a while to visit, im ok but his place has sh*tty wifi dw abt me'

<Purpled> BRUH

<Xisuma> that's not even remotely true. Private servers have good connections despite our latest troubles

<xBCrafted> did you just censor the swear word or did Purpled actually type that? Because I can hardly believe the latter

<Purpled> hey hey

<Purpled> shit

<Purpled> look a swear

<Xisuma> please don't do that to me

<Renthedog> LOL!

<Purpled> laughing my ass off

<Xisuma> sigh

<Xisuma> I'll call you when your friend responds

<Purpled> poggers

[09:32 AM]

<Purpled> mr moustache is AFK on the floor near one of his mob farms

<Purpled> he’s out cold

<Purpled> and i have sharpies

<Grian> you already know what to do

<Purpled> :)

<Grian> ;)

<Xisuma> No.

<Purpled> :(

<Grian> :(

<Xisuma> Where did you get that sharpie?

<Purpled> the dog 

<Xisuma> How and why does Ren have sharpies?

<Renthedog> can a man not have colored sharpies on him at all times???

<Renthedog> geez X

<Xisuma> Okay then

<Xisuma> Purpled can you GENTLY wake Mumbo up? He shouldn’t be napping near mob spawns for too long.

<Grian> OH LET ME DO IT

<Grian> PURPLED WAIT FOR ME

<Etho> wait im not too far away from u i wanna see this

<Xisuma> please don't do anything stupid

[10:26 AM]

MumboJumbo was squashed by a falling anvil

<falsesymmetry> Oh?

<Etho> im so proud

<Xisuma> i

<Purpled> LMAOOOOOOOO

<Grian> lol!

<MumboJumbo> HUH

<MumboJumbo> WHAT WAS THAT

<iskall85> HHAHAHHAHAHHA

<iskall85> maybe this’ll teach you to be careful and to NOT lag the server

<Etho> ur stuff is in the chest Mumbo

<MumboJumbo> OH DEAR GOD

<MumboJumbo> I HAD 213 LEVELS

<MumboJumbo> HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME

<Purpled> OH SHIT really

<Purpled> You had that many levels

<Purpled> damn now i feel horrible

<Welsknight> It’s fine. I have an enderman farm and Mumbo himself has one

<impulseSV> EXP is really easy to get if you have big mob farms!

<Welsknight> Yep

<impulseSV> Losing levels and items aren’t a big deal, just a tad bit annoying tbh

<Purpled> thats good to hear

<MumboJumbo> but I absolutely CANNOT kill anything! I’ve sworn off killing anything directly :(

<Purpled> why

<MumboJumbo> Peace, love and plants!

<MumboJumbo> That’s my goal for this season

<Purpled> cringe

<MumboJumbo> y

<MumboJumbo> you did not just call me cringe

<Grian> OMG

<Etho> lmao

<iskall85> everyone point and laugh

<MumboJumbo> THAT'S SO MEAN

<Purpled> it's not mean if it's true

<Purpled> I’ll make exp bottles for you later btw so dw

<MumboJumbo> OH NO you don’t have to do that!! I was just fooling around! I wasn’t actually upset 

<Purpled> no ur making me feel bad

<Purpled> i’ll try to fix it

<falsesymmetry> to be fair Grian was also at the crime scene :)

<MumboJumbo> GRIAN.

<Grian> NOOO what r u talking abouttt

<Xisuma> you’re a bad influence

<Grian> I’m the BEST influence :D

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘ecks-eye-zooma-lotl and me’
members: 
<Xisuma>
<Grian>

[10:35 AM]

<Xisuma> Grian.

<Grian> it wasn't me i didn't do it

<Xisuma> ???

<Xisuma> Didn’t do what?

<Grian> i don't know but whatever it is that ur gonna get angry for, it aint me

<Xisuma> What are you talking about

<Grian> you used a period!!!! the (.)!!!!! You gotta scold me for something and I don't remember things that I've done so go for it

<Grian> im ready

<Grian> your words wont hurt me

<Xisuma> Grian

<Grian> IT WASNT ME

<Xisuma> I’m just asking where Purpled is! You were with him earlier right?

<Xisuma> Where is he now? He's not answering my messages

<Grian> ooooooooohhhh

<Grian> why do you need him

<Xisuma> I was just curious because I asked if he sells copper a while ago but I was met with radio silence

<Grian> Purpled said he and Etho went to gather resources, probably for a restock

<Grian> tho if youre looking for copper, G-Train sells them all :D

<Xisuma> alright I'll stop by

<Xisuma> stay outta trouble

<Grian> okayyyyy

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘untitled chat’
members:
<Grian>
<Etho>
<Purpled>

[10:40 AM]

<Grian> -( screenshot.sent )-

<Grian> HE'S ONTO US ALREADY

<Purpled> what the fuck grian

<Grian> IM SORRY

<Etho> now what then

<Etho> we haven’t even done the first step

<Purpled> no no just stick to the plan

<Purpled> if anything i think the guy won’t think too much of it esp if it’s abt u so there’s nothing to be worried of

<Grian> aaa that’s good to hear BUT

<Grian> don’t you think it’s about time you call Xisuma by his name? Or at least not giving him weird nicknames? :’D

<Etho> I was wondering abt that too

<Purpled> do u want to execute ur revenge plan to tango or not

<Grian> YYES

<Grian> I DO 

<Etho> hmmm

<Grian> So the same plan that you’ve told me? Before we split up from Mumbo’s farm?

<Purpled> yea just do that and we’ll group up after we got the stuff we need later to execute the main plan

<Etho> should be quick and easy

<Grian> on it!!

<Grian> wait we need a group name

Grian changed the group name to ‘i solemnly swear that i am up to no good’

<Purpled> nerd

<Grian> you’re one to talk spacekid

<Purpled> aliens are way cooler than wizards

<Etho> focus guys

<Purpled> bold of u to say anime boy

<Grian> You’re arguably the nerdiest nerd here Etho

<Purpled> u cant shadow clone urself out of this

<Etho> .

<Etho> ok i get it we’re all nerds

<Etho> and that’s why we’re here right?

<Grian> no but sure that’ll be our team motto

<Purpled> same hat

<Etho> awesome

<Etho> anyways, i guess u could msg the big eyes ppl to join in

<Grian> why?

<Etho> it’s funny that’s why

<Purpled> uehjfshdkg

<Etho> it increases the chance of us getting caught early tho bc these guys cant keep secrets for real

<Purpled> isn’t this just a plan to make tango’s life miserable for the next like, few hours 

<Grian> we can double bamboozle those three! let’s make them believe they’re part of our prank so that they won’t realize we’re actually against EVERYONE :D

<Purpled> omg

<Etho> evil

<Etho> i like that

<Etho> but all things considered, risks of getting caught before we can execute the plan is up

<Grian> a chance that I'm willing to take <3

<Grian> in fact, im near their place now!

<Grian> but x could still be around here uh oh

<Purpled> i had a little shop near bdub’s moon, go snatch a few invis pots

<Grian> oooo you’re selling potions?

<Purpled> yeah why

<Purpled> potions are necessary right

<Etho> yes they are, but I think most of us can brew by ourselves, I opened a potion shop last season but no one really bought them except when they really need it

<Purpled> dang it

<Purpled> so that’s why it barely ever sells

<Grian> No no, it’s great! Very convenient too, I got 3 invis potions with me now :D I left 3 diamonds at your place!

<Purpled> as u should

<Etho> good luck G

<Grian> I will!

<Etho> aight im going to ren and doc’s first

<Purpled> kk i’ll be at my base

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘BIG BOYS’
members:
<Keralis1>
<BdoubleO100>
<Tango>

[10:51 AM]

Tango added Grian to the GROUP

<Keralis1> sweet face! What’s up :D

<BdoubleO100> what are you doing here??

<Grian> i asked tango to add me in the group <3

<Tango> he said he’ll trap my whole base when i least expect it

<BdoubleO100> so he threatened u

<Grian> noooo it was pure negotiation

<Tango> i am scared for my life

<Tango> So, what’s goin on?

<Grian> are you guys up for a little prank?

<Tango> unexpected but not surprising coming from u tbh

<Keralis1> it’s never ‘a little prank’ with you!

<BdoubleO100> what should we do

<Grian> I like how you guys didn’t even ask me anything about it

<Tango> Do you want us to help or not???

<Grian> YES I WOULD LOVE YOUR HELP

<Grian> i just need you to get the Boatem Village ppl and Cub away from their base for a bit

<Grian> like, tell them X has free ice cream or something, so they’ll go to his base

<Tango> ?? Why

<Keralis1> I don’t think I gets it

<Grian> This plan will only work if they’re not in their bases so we need a decoy :( plsssss

<Keralis1> why don't we just lure them to TFC’s base? I think it’s way closer than shashwammy’s!

<Grian> noooo you do NOT want to bother TFC, it’s rude :(

<Grian> and the main show will be around boatem after all ;D

<BdoubleO100> ooo I get it!!

<BdoubleO100> u want us to bring them to X, away from boatem and Cub’s, bc u wanna prank their bases???

<Grian> You’re spot on! I’m gonna trap their bases <3

<Tango> YOOOOOOOOOOOOO I’m SO in

<Keralis1> Me too! Haven’t done a proper prank in a while

<BdoubleO100> COUNT ME IN

<Grian> perfect!!

<Grian> im near Bdubs’ moon! Let me explain the plan in detail there

[MAIN CHAT LOG]

[11:05 AM]

<Purpled> hey to whoever owns them: can I use the enderman, blaze, and creeper spawners for a bit

<Purpled> and does anyone sell sand bc i am NOT gonna dig shit

<cubfan135> those are very lengthy demands

<falsesymmetry> And a dangerous one. What are you gonna do with it?

<Purpled> loot duh

<Docm77> enderman, blaze, creeper, and sand… You’re not planning to make end crystals and TNT are you? What are those for?

<Purpled> why is it when i say very normal things it's always you two that r being so unnecessarily paranoid

<cubfan135> lmao can u blame them tho

<cubfan135> anyways, I think Wels’ or Mumbo’s enderman farms are free to use, Mumbo also has a blaze spawner somewhere in the nether, and you can drop by whoever’s bases bc I think there's at least 1 mob spawner in every major location

<Purpled> ok ty cub

<Purpled> weird name btw but swag

<cubfan135> awesome

<Xisuma> :(

<Grian> LOL

[PRIVATE CHAT]

‘sun and moon :D’
<Grian>
<PearlescentMoon>

[11:11 AM]

<Grian> Pearl

<PearlescentMoon> yea?

<Grian> -( 5xscreenshot.sent )-

<Grian> this is our plan

<PearlescentMoon> omg

<PearlescentMoon> what do I need to do

<Grian> convince boatem to follow whatever the big eye crew is gonna do bc I don’t think they’d buy it, especially Impulse LMAO

<PearlescentMoon> TRUEEEE some of them are kinda terrible at lying, bless them

<PearlescentMoon> quick screening questions though

<Grian> shoot

<PearlescentMoon> will your prank cause property damage?

<Grian> ummmmm kinda

<PearlescentMoon> how severe

<Grian> your cattle and plant farms probably won’t survive this

<Grian> But those are easily fixed ;D

<Grian> I volunteer as tribute

<PearlescentMoon> You’re right hmmmm

<PearlescentMoon> Another question, who’s your actual target?

<Grian> Tango bc he dyed my sweater >:( He dyed Purpled’s hoodies too so this prank is inevitable

<PearlescentMoon> Last question, will someone die?

<Grian> No, but if someone did die then it was completely unintentional

<Grian> (or if Purpled decides to lol)

<PearlescentMoon> hmmmm ok ok

<Grian> Do I get your approval :D

<PearlescentMoon> Sure :)

<Grian> LET’S GOOOOOOO

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘i solemnly swear that i am up to no good’

members:
<Grian>
<Etho>
<Purpled>

[11:30 AM]

Grian added Tango to the GROUP

Grian added BdoubleO100 to the GROUP

Grian added Keralis to the GROUP

<Grian> DID YOU ALL GET THE MEMO

<BdoubleO100> YESSIR

<Keralis1> more or less, yeah!

<Tango> YEP

<Grian> I’ll explain it briefly again, the three of you only need to distract Mumbo, Scar, Impulse, Pearl and Cub and bring them to ANYWHERE but their base, I recommend bringing them to X’s since he’s near

<Grian> After that, return to the Boatem village and Purpled, Etho and I will finish the prank

<Keralis1> You’re gonna rig the village right?

<Grian> Sorta! :D

<BdoubleO100> What’s up with the chickens?? I remember u mentioned it earlier

<Grian> oh those are just for the cherry on top

<Purpled> hell yeah

<Purpled> I have a fuckton of TNTs

<Grian> NO

<Grian> WE’RE NOT KILLING THE CHICKENS

<Grian> Just use a lot of end crystals and we’re good

<Purpled> is TNT blast too big for this

<Grian> yes and I don't actually want to destroy anyone’s buildings

<Grian> the chickens are there to cause a minor inconvenience 

<Etho> If anyone wants me to spawn withers to keep everyone out just say the word

<Purpled> jfc no

<Etho> No? Why

<Etho> you’re usually down for explosive things

<Purpled> nah fuck withers I’ve had enough of them

<Etho> aw :(

<Grian> We’re sticking to end crystals and that’s FINAL

<Purpled> kk

<Keralis1> D:

<Tango> what in the world is this plan

<BdoubleO100> IS THERE ANYTHING MORE WE SHOULD KNOW

<Purpled> No

<Purpled> just stick to the og plan and go for it

[MAIN CHAT LOG]

[12:03 PM]

<Tango> Boatem is now closed until further notice

<iskall85> Why?

<BdoubleO100> We took care of them

<Zedaph> That is not how to have a friendly business rivalry but I like it

<Zedaph> Keep it up

<GeminiTay> did you kill them??

<Tango> no wtf

<iskall85> omg corporate sabotage?

<Tango> IT’S NOT

<Tango> No one is allowed to go near Boatem unless I say so

<Keralis1> Yeah!! What he said!!

<impulseSV> Does it have anything to do with you guys kicking us out from our own base

<Tango> hmmm could be

<impulseSV> sus

<Tango> ;)

<Keralis1> Are you guys at shashwammy’s?

<GoodTimeWIthScar> ON OUR WAY

<GoodTimeWithScar> Can’t wait to get my hands on that ice cream

<GoodTimeWithScar> I call dibs on the chocolate one

<Stressmonster101> X sells ice cream??? :D

<BdoubleO100> It’s reserved for boatem ppl only!!!

<Keralis1> You can ask ice cream from Shashwammy later :D

<Stressmonster100> aw :((

<impulseSV> that’s really sus

<Tango> nothing sus around here

<Xisuma> What is this about ice cream.

<Keralis1> Shashwammy! Can’t wait to visit your base to get ice cream <3

<Xisuma> But I don’t sell ice cream?

<Keralis1> Now you do. Yay!

<Xisuma> But I don’t know how to make them?

<Keralis1> You will know how.

<Xisuma> Okay??

<Etho> lmao good luck X

<Etho> I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals

<VintageBeef> but moral support is mainly to lift up one’s spirit so I’m sure your help is still gonna be greatly appreciated :D

<Etho> :)

<Docm77> please don’t fuel him

<Etho> what makes you think I’m up to no good

<Docm77> You’re always up for shenanigans

<Etho> true

<falsesymmetry> I have a bad feeling about this

<Grian> Don’t jinx it False <3

<falsesymmetry> ????

[private chat log]

‘definitely not a cult’
members:
<Grian>
<MumboJumbo>
<GoodTimeWithScar>
<PearlescentMoon>
<impulseSV>

[12:14 PM]

<impulseSV> Pearl, where are you?

<PearlescentMoon> where are YOU guys

<impulseSV> we literally went to X’s base together then you suddenly disappeared!

<PearlescentMoon> dw about it

<GoodTimeWithScar> I’m starting to think that X does not have ice cream like u said :c

<PearlescentMoon> no no I’m sure he has them I promise

<PearlescentMoon> Anyways guys don’t look outside the windows haha

<impulseSV> Is that Grian

<impulseSV> What’s he doing

<GoodTimeWithScar> leading a herd of chickens apparently

<PearlescentMoon> YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOOK

<MumboJumbo> im having flashbacks

<MumboJumbo> pearl why

<PearlescentMoon> I’m a supportive friend

<MumboJumbo> fgdhgf’;#7

[MAIN CHAT log]

[12:44 PM]

<GeminiTay> Did anyone hear that?

<iJevin> whhat was that

<Xisuma> WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU ALL DOING????

<Xisuma> WE HEARD EXPLOSIONS ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE MOUNTAINS?????

<MumboJumbo> THAT WAS SO LOUD

<BdoubleO100> NJNOTHING

<Tango> RUNRUNNNNRUN

<Keralis1> SDJGSDKF TAMNGO YOU DINDT TELL ME THE CHICKERNS ARE GONNA DIE

<Tango> SHUT UPP JUST GO

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

‘i solemnly swear that i am up to no good’
members:
<Grian>
<Etho>
<Purpled>
<Tango>
<BdoubleO100>
<Keralis1>

[12:47 PM]

<BdoubleO100> WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS

<BdoubleO100> WE LOST U

<Keralis1> give us directions before they found us DD:

<Grian> iddint expect the chickens to actually die

<Grian> my chimnkens friends,,, u will be missed

<Keralis1> CRIES

<Purpled> o7

<Purpled> also listen up

<Purpled> me grian and etho are going through rendoc's portal just in case, u three can use the boatem’s portal so they won’t catch us quickly

<Purpled> scatter

<Tango> AWRIGHT

<Etho> good luck lol

[MAIN CHAT LOG]

[02:00 PM]

<falsesymmetry> ...

<falsesymmetry> It’s very quiet here and I don’t like it.

<falsesymmetry> What happened to the explosions? Where and who are the hermits responsible?

<Grian> I’m sure Xisuma already handled it

<falsesymmetry> What did you do

<Grian> What are u talking about ;D

<Zedaph> as someone who lives near X, can confirm that the Big Eye Crew is no more

<GoodTimeWithScar> Wait, what happened??

<GoodTimeWithScar> the last time I saw those three, they released families of chickens and blew up the sky with crystals!

<ImpulseSV> I saw them leaving using the nether portal too, idk where they are now 

<ImpulseSV> They didn’t exactly do a good job trying to distract us haha

<iskall85> hmmmmmmm

<iskall85> does this have anything to do with Purpled, Grian and Etho appearing in my base’s nether portal a while ago

<Etho> iskall i told u to shhh

<iskall85> whoopsies

<Stressmonster101> I heard the loud explosion from miles away! Is everyone okay??

<GeminiTay> None of your bases are damaged right? I hope not

<PearlescentMoon> they’re fine, dw

<PearlescentMoon> No bases were harmed today

<PearlescentMoon> but the roads suffered a lot

<cubfan135> plus the chickens and all other mobs

<cubfan135> i can’t forget how they died trying to escape my dripstone canyon

<cubfan135> that explosion was the cherry on top

<GoodTimeWithScar> ...I can’t tell if you’re happy or sad about it, Cub D:

<cubfan135> Well it was an interesting sight to see for sure

<GoodTimeWithScar> And I never got my ice cream!

<falsesymmetry> No one answered my question yet. Who’s ACTUALLY responsible? Where are they now?

<Purpled> canonically, the big eye crew are the villains in this story

<Purpled> but we know who the actual masterminds are

<falsesymmetry> ...And where are they now?

<Zedaph> -( image.sent )- [a selfie of Zedaph smiling and giving a peace sign. Xisuma is in the background with Keralis, Tango and Bdubs sitting on the floor]

<Zedaph> lmao they look so defeated

<ImpulseSV> PFFFFFT

<Welsknight> So what actually happened?...

<Stressmonster101> I’m so confused

<Etho> don’t feel like explaining it

<Etho> we all know what happened in our hearts

<Zedaph> Are you just saying that so X wouldn't know what you three did

<Grian> what r u talking about

<Zedaph> Then I shall explain! (brought to you by Zedaph Productions, sponsored by Tango’s incoherent and defensive ramblings to prove his innocence to X)

<Zedaph> if what you've said is true, then Grian, Etho and Purpled are the ones who planned this—a plan to get back on Tango from his recent prank but also dragging innocents like Bdubs and Keralis down the grave! So Purpled and co’s og plan was to cause mayhem in Boatem and blame it on the Big Eye crew but they changed it a bit, they told the crew that they’re part of this ‘prank’ when they’re actually not

<Grian> mans writing an essay

<Zedaph> They were ordered to shoo Boatem people + Cub away from their bases so they ended up chilling at X’s base while Purpled, Grian and Etho rigged the entire village Boatem with end crystals, released hoards of chickens and killing their cattles in the process lol

<Zedaph> I don’t think Tango Bdubs and Keralis even knew about them rigging the village so when they went back to Boatem everything just exploded lmao

<impulseSV> huh......

<falsesymmetry> how in the world did you type tat fast

<hypnotizd> excuse me but I am now even more confused

<Purpled> WTF DID YOU RAT US OUT

<Zedaph> No but I’m about to

<Grian> D:

<Purpled> BASTARD 

<Etho> snake behavior

<Zedaph> Who are u to judge 

<Etho> aight fair

<Purpled> alright where are you

<Purpled> are u still at the axolotl’s base

<Purpled> let’s meet at your base to discuss things and stuff

<Zedaph> You’re gonna kill me, aren’t you?

<Purpled> what makes u think that

<Zedaph> you think I was born yesterday?

<Zedaph> Trust me, I won’t snitch on you, I'm not that kind of person

<Purpled> hm

<Purpled> whats the catch

<Zedaph> Let’s hang out at my base tomorrow bc my aesthetic is us being best friends <3

<Purpled> fine

<Zedaph> YOU WON’T REGRET IT :D

<Zedaph> One thing I don’t understand tho, how did the crew end up at Xisuma’s portal? Tango said they used the Boatem portal, it should’ve transported them to the Boatem Nether right?

<Etho> lmao we told em that they need to enter and reenter boatem portal to be able to return to the nether hub

<Etho> but they ended up in Xisuma’s lol

<Docm77> ...Is this about the nether portal glitch?

<Etho> yep lol we used your portal near one of your shulker shop and end up in me and iskall's base

<BdoubleO100> HOW IN THE WORLD DID YUO MANAGE TO PREDICT THAT

<Etho> a little interview from base owners and probability check

<VintageBeef> yep that’s Etho alright

<Etho> all according to plan

<BdoubleO100> ETHO I WILL STRANGLE YOU

<Etho> can’t even reach my neck

<BdoubleO100> JKSHDKJRHG

<Stressmonster101> Are you guys still at Xisuma’s?

<Zedaph> Nope we left X’s base a while ago!

<Purpled> also pls delete ur msgs explaining our crimes

<Zedaph> On it!

<Purpled> him knowing the truth would be annoying

<Xisuma> I already read it.

<Zedaph> oh sh

<Purpled> ZEDAPH.

<Zedaph> I SWEAR I DELETED THE MESSAGES ALREADY

<Purpled> GET OUT OF YOUR BASE IM GONNA KILL YOU ON SIGHT

<Xisuma> No, stay at your bases, it’s already late. 

<Purpled> You saw nothing.

<Xisuma> I’ve seen a lot of things.

<Purpled> fuck

<Xisuma> Now I feel bad for scolding these three, and it’d be unfair if the other three didn’t get the same treatment.

<PearlescentMoon> so ur willing to spend ur time to scold Grian Purpled and Etho too?

<Xisuma> GOD no

<Purpled> bet u won’t

<Xisuma> I am perfectly able to do the same thing again but I just decided that I won’t because there’s no point in that. No one is seriously injured too so it’s fine… I guess. Sorry about the portal, I swear it’s already fixed by now. I’ll give Bdubs, Tango and Keralis discounts tomorrow as an apology

<Xisuma> Etho, Grian, Purpled you're on thin ice. Especially Purpled, so you're on thinner ice.

<Purpled> LMAO

<Tango> this is a bitterswwt defeat

<Tango> oh so bitter

<BdoubleO100> I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD BE HAPPY OR NOT

<Keralis1> u broke my heart shashwammy :(

<Xisuma> I’m sorry Keralis :(

<Purpled> slow clapping

<Xisuma> Purpled you're not helping

<Purpled> was never my intention

<Purpled> hope ur tea is cold

<Xisuma> SIGH

<Xisuma> I’m just gonna

<Xisuma> Go make more tea

<Xisuma> Good night everyone.

<Zedaph> APOLOGIES FOR TAKING YOUR TIME XISUMA <3

<Etho> gn X

<Grian> SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE X HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT REST OF THE DAY

<Grian> But! At least this gets your mind off your problems at least a little, right, Purpled?
<Purpled> i

<Purpled> i mean yeah

<Purpled> actually the most fun I’ve had in a while

<xBCrafted> aww we’re happy for you!

<Purpled> the head hunting bit was the best tho, that shit was so fucking funny back then

<xBCrafted> i

<hypnotizd> THAT WAS OVER A WEEK AGO PLEASE FORGET ABOUT IT

<hypnotizd> WE ARE MORE THAN JUST HEADS ON YOUR WALLS

<Purpled> LMAOOOOOO im jk

<Purpled> for real tho

<Purpled> thanks guys

<TinFoilChef> oh?

<cubfan135> !!

<BdoubleO100> WHAT

<falsesymmetry> oh my

<iJevin> YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

<MumboJumbo> OHHHH

<PearlescentMoon> omg it’s happening

<GoodTimesWithScar> shedding a single tear wow

<VintageBeef> congrats!

<Purpled> wait what

<Purpled> what did i do

<Stressmonster101> That’s the first time you’ve ever thanked us for anything! :D

<Welsknight> that sounds really nice actually

<GeminiTay> It’s not verbal yet but it’s the thought that counts!

<iskall85> SCREENSHOT SCREENSHOT SCREENSHOT

<joehillssays> retweet

<joehillssays> retweet

<joehillssays> public quote retweet

<joehillssays> retweet

<joehillssays> like and retweet

<ZombieCleo> caught in 4K

<Purpled> WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SO EMBARRASSING WTF

<Purpled> AND WHY DID U ALL SUFDENLY APPEAR AT ONCE IN CHAT

<Grian> my boy’s all grown up

<Purpled> SHUT UP

<Docm77> That’s good, finally got some manners in you

<Stressmonster101> I didn’t partake in the prank but we did it! <3

<Tango> ALL IT TOOK WAS ME DYING BUT IT’S WORTH IT I GUESS

<Purpled> but u didn’t actually, so

<Purpled> ur at ur base by now right

<Purpled> im omw

<Tango> WAIT NO

Tango was slain by Purpled

<iJevin> lol not even by the lightsaber?

<Purpled> ... he died after a smack

<ImpulseSV> surprisingly that’s the ONLY real casualty of this whole thing

<Keralis1> BUT THE CHICKENS!

<Keralis1> HOW COULD YOU BRIAN 

<Grian> the chickens had served its purpose

<Etho> don’t be fooled he literally cried when the ground exploded

<Grian> JDSFKSJK

<Grian> IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE

<Purpled> oh

<Purpled> oh boy

Chapter Text

[03:55 AM]

<Purpled> uhhh does anyone have some amethyst blocks

<iJevin> who in the world wakes up at 4 in the morning

<Purpled> i get that a lot

<Purpled> do u have it or not

<iJevin> i have a few stacks that i dont need

<iJevin> where are you? 

<Purpled> nah dw i’ll go to ur base

<iJevin> oh ok

<Purpled> do u not usually wake up at this hour?

<iJevin> no i didn’t sleep yet

<iJevin> i was up digging stuff and i absolutely CANNOT stop till im finished

<Purpled> felt

<iJevin> to be fair a lot of us aren’t early birds cuz our projects could take forever

<iJevin> notice how no one responded to our texts yet

<iJevin> deep in slumber

<Purpled> i see

<iJevin> do YOU usually wake up at 4 am like a little psychopath u are

<Purpled> oh i was trained to wake up earlier than this

<Purpled> the habit dies down slowly since i dont take as many jobs now

<Purpled> so i started the day trying to improve my ufo bc i have nothing better to do

<iJevin> ...ohkay

<iJevin> but that ufo of yours is rly nice, it looks very cool!

<iJevin> i see that youve put a lot of time and effort in to it champ

<Purpled> duh

<Purpled> ur stating the obvious

<Purpled> im here btw

<iJevin> aight just a sec

[07:13 AM]

<Xisuma> Purpled you’re not obligated to wake up early, please know that.

<Xisuma> Still, I want you to go to sleep under 10 PM

<Purpled> im not 12

<Xisuma> I’m not saying you are, but please get enough sleep.

<Purpled> ok geez i’ll try

<Xisuma> :)

<Tango> you should tell that to Zed too

<Xisuma> Why?

<ImpulseSV> we were in a long dispute over what had actually killed the dinosaurs with Zed but I feel like he's just spluttering facts by himself so we’re waiting till he's finished typing his essay

<Tango> truuu and after dropping like 3 pages long messages he just didn’t respond to us at all

<ImpulseSV> he probably fell asleep and still hasn’t woken up haha

<Purpled> what ACTUALLY killed the dinosaurs tho

<Purpled> the meteorites thing is bullshit bc theres no way

<Tango> [group.invite:’the power puff girls’]

<Tango> be our guest

<ImpulseSV> group discussion every tuesdays and thursdays

<Purpled> sounds festive

<Xisuma> ...Please remember what I just said.

<Purpled> yeee

[08:30 PM]

<BdoubleO100> what's stopping me from making a serverwide shopping district that takes up the entire continent we live in

<Welsknight> the government

<falsesymmetry> Who’s the government in this scenario?

<GoodTimeWithScar> Are we having another election? :D

<MumboJumbo> NO

<MumboJumbo> goodness no

<Welsknight> I meant Xisuma, not the actual government

<Welsknight> he governs

<Purpled> but using the word govern is giving him too much credit tho

<Purpled> he’s just there

<Xisuma> Oh wow I suddenly don’t want to fix the server portal anymore

<Purpled> wait no

<Purpled> i was jk

<MumboJumbo> sdkjfsd

<ZombieCleo> LMAOO

<iskall85> HE’S LEARNING TO FIGHT BACK

<falsesymmetry> Anyways

<falsesymmetry> We did decide that there will be no big shopping district this season, just local shops

<BdoubleO100> >:((

<BdoubleO100> Consider this then!

<BdoubleO100> big eye crew will make big shops EVERYWHERE but it still has our names on it so it doesn’t really count as a shopping district bc it’s scattered. Just like our pass and gas stations but NEW and IMPROVED

<BdoubleO100> we’ll provide all kinds of items, materials and more importantly, food stands everywhere!!

<BdoubleO100> BETTER YET

<BdoubleO100> FREE SAMPLES!

<BdoubleO100> u know what I'M GONNA TALK TO MAKE IT RIGHT NOW SO GOODBYE FELLAS

<Purpled> how the fuck did he manage to type so fast

<Welsknight> I didn’t even get to type a response

<Tango> BDUBS I THOUGHT WE ALREADY HAVE OUR OWN SHOPPING DISTRICT

<Keralis1> uh oh are we gonna make more? I don’t mind!

<Tango> oh man

<GoodTimeWithScar> Hmmm Bdubs was literally describing a typical supermarket. That could be interesting!

<VintageBeef> free samples eh

<falsesymmetry> I bet Joe would appreciate that too

<ZombieCleo> I remember the time when joe waited in line for free taste samples from past shopping districts

<cubfan135> one time he dropped his m&ms he cried in public

<Xisuma> Joe… 

<hypnotizd> is he ok

<Purpled> and I've also seen him digging my old chests that im planning to throw away at 2 in the morning and while i severely hate myself I believe that guy hates himself even more

<ZombieCleo> what the hell

<Grian> ???? ??? PURPLED??? DONT BE SAD

<Purpled> what do u know

<Grian> I get it, I've been in your shoes!

<Purpled> Gucci? i dont think so

<joehillssays> oajhknsj

<joehillssays> So what kind of supermarket are we talking here

<BdoubleO100> not sure but I’m getting there!!!

<Tango> oh you're back!!! Where were you

<BdoubleO100> DEEP IN THE MINES GATHERING SUPPLIES

<Xisuma> Be careful down there

<ZombieCleo> oooo i vote for either walmart or target or multifunctional store like ikea

<cubfan135> I thought we’ve done something similar to that in previous season

<hypnotizd> reduce reuse recycle

<Welsknight> Walmart loses 3 billion to theft each year and if we all pitch in to help we can get that number a lot higher this year

<hypnotizd> ur saying we should shoplift

<Welsknight> i never said that but ok hypno 

<Purpled> that reminds me 

<Purpled> I’ve built a whole Walmart before in my old server

<Purpled> then it got turned into a gay Target and the only thing they’re selling were body parts of the old drunkard president

<Purpled> it's sold out after a month

<BdoubleO100> WHAT

<Purpled> and his former vice president and ex-fiance ate his heart or something idk

<GoodTimeWithScar> ?????? ??? ? ? ? ?? ? ? 

<ZombieCleo> the heck did I just read

<Xisuma> you know what this is not the weirdest thing I’ve heard from you about that godforsaken server

<Xisuma> and that says a lot

<Purpled> Now I kinda want to rebuild that walmart here

<VintageBeef> You’re not actually gonna sell body parts, right…?

<Purpled> :)

<Purpled> lol jk no im probably gonna put actual items there lmao

<Keralis1> please dont do that to me my heart can only handle so much

<falsesymmetry> I don't see anything wrong with that idea though

<Welsknight> sure you don't

[09:20 PM]

<ImpulseSV> Purpled! You’re with Etho a lot, I assume you’re good at redstone?

<Purpled> Uhhh I don’t do a lot of redstone

<Purpled> The most complicated thing I’ve built was a fall damage trap using one of those tripwires and stuff

<Purpled> and the auto bubble elevator thing in my ufo, going up and down with a single lane

<ImpulseSV> That’s cool! Did you come up with the design yourself?

<Purpled> nah it’s not that impressive

<Purpled> I think it was from one of Mumbo’s redstone tutorial I saw a long time ago

<MumboJumbo> OH MY GOD?

<MumboJumbo> How long ago were we talking here?

<Purpled> around 3+ years ago but i only got to use it last year

<MumboJumbo> Did you see my other tutorials too?

<Purpled> yeah they’re nuts

<Grian> Mumbo’s redstone is Purpled Approved!

<MumboJumbo> That… makes me incredibly happy actually

<MumboJumbo> I really wanna tell you more about redstone but my conscience told me not to

<Xisuma> Listen to your conscience

<Tango> ok I’ll teach him then

<Xisuma> NO

<Tango> i will teach him on Mumbo’s behalf so I can do no wrong

<Tango> It will all be on Mumbo

<MumboJumbo> WAIT WHAT

<MumboJumbo> WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

<impulseSV> didn't he kick your butt in a prank recently 

<Tango> shhh dont care didn't ask that was in the past we're still best friends

<impulseSV> "still"

<Purpled> LMAO

<Purpled> I swear I won’t use it for anything bad

<Purpled> axolotl guy already taught me a lil bit about sorting system so learning more redstone could be useful

<Tango> awesome!

<Xisuma> Tango you’ll be responsible for everything that’ll happen from this point on

<Tango> will I :/

<Tango> guess who adopted Purpled first? You. it’s legally ur kid and im just the cool uncle

<impulseSV> aww

<MumboJumbo> oh dear

<Xisuma> I didn’t adopt him. What are you saying

<Purpled> OH funny story abt that

<Purpled> the last time someone tried to adopt a fox guy on my server the parent missed the adoption date and the guy’s gonna be orphaned forever lmaooo

<Purpled> thank god someone signed the papers anyway before the orphan obliterator guy got him

<Xisuma> wh

<Xisuma> what

<iskall85> wait why does that story sound familiar

<iskall85> fox guy? 

<falsesymmetry> I just opened my comms. How did it go from redstone to childhood trauma in less than 10 minutes

<impulseSV> beats me

<Docm77> to be fair those two are a package deal

<Docm77> you don't get either, you get both

<falsesymmetry> It doesn’t have anything to do with redstone anymore though?

<MumboJumbo> but it’s true

<MumboJumbo> Every time my redstone breaks a piece of my soul dies with it

<Tango> just me and my broken heart

<impulseSV> same

<Zedaph> sadge

<Xisuma> I’m literally begging you all to go to sleep

<iskall85> yikes

[03:05 AM]

<iskall85> so there's a pair of cockroach in the corner of our bathroom since a few days back right

<iskall85> etho found it first and he tried to get them out of there instead of killing em bc i told em Stress told me that killing cockroaches by squishing em are dangerous and their insides are filled with bacteria, blah blah

<iskall85> we're too broke to buy a bug spray so we somehow managed to turn them upside down and they were struggling to get back up, and we just kinda left them there till they die i guess, bc the water can't reach bathroom corners anyway. Then again cockroaches can hold their breath for like 40 min 

<iskall85> they died 2 days ago i think

<iskall85> the reason why im even telling u this????

<iskall85> did u know when cockroaches dry out other little bugs will clean out the dead body; and thats how u usually find dead cockroaches and we won't even realize while sweeping it away

<iskall85> we left them for a night and the ants already managed to detach their limbs

<Xisuma> for goodness sake this is making my skin crawl

<iskall85> me and etho will leave them again for a while

<iskall85> and maybe catch more cockroaches? or other bugs? tempting

<Xisuma> THROW THEM AWAY

<Xisuma> the air around there will be messed up

<iskall85> for science!!

<Xisuma> DO YOU WANT TO BE POISONED

<Xisuma> Dead bugs might affect the air and food around them

<Xisuma> can you even clean yourself in that godforsaken bathroom

<iskall85> but im curious!!!

<Xisuma> are you insane

<Xisuma> are you a criminal

<Etho> oh my goooood

<Etho> also another cockroach fun fact: if for some reason, you find it between the time of dying and when the other bugs have cleaned out the exoskeleton, and you squish it, or vacuum it up, it stinks so don't do that

<Xisuma> CLEAN YOUR BATHROOM

<iskall85> nooo!!!!

<Xisuma> i'm in need of another shower after reading this

<Xisuma> etho you should know better

<iskall85> i haven't even collected more than 2, dont stop us when we've already gone this far!!!!!!!!!!!!

<Xisuma> do it right now or i will release all of your villagers

<iskall85> NOOOO

<Grian> ssssssshut up u lamp posts im trying to SLEEP

<iskall85> what r u gonna do looool bet i can go to ur house right now and put ur comms on top of the fridge

<Etho> omg

<Grian> YOU WOULDN'T DARE

<iskall85> WELL I MIGHT

<iskall85> DON'T TEST ME NOR QUESTION MY DEAD LITTLE ROOMMATES 

<Purpled> please be quiet before I do something unimaginable

<iskall85> oh shit sorry purp

<Etho> lol

[07:01 AM]

<Welsknight> Are you guys really adults like what was that conversation

<iskall85> silence clown

<Welsknight> Why am I even here then

<Renthedog> You’re here to be pretty my dude <3

<Welsknight> What

<iJevin> This is Welsknight Wednesdays guys

<Welsknight> What in the world is that

<hypnotizd> appreciation day for u

<Welsknight> okay??

<Purpled> this is so wholesome can we get 5 likes

<xBCrafted> I didn’t think that you know what wholesome means

<Purpled> maybe I don’t but I do know what my sword means

<xBCrafted> NO

<hypnotizd> ksjghjfdkg

<xBCrafted> PLEASE its not even funny anymore i

<Purpled> tell me more about this auction thing

<hypnotizd> WHAT

<Purpled> the auction

<Purpled> I heard you guys are selling souls

<xBCrafted> jhdfksd well they’re NOT actually souls but IOUs are kinda versatile and dangerous to have here soooo yeah

<Purpled> How does the it work

<Purpled> and how do you do the auction thing

<hypnotizd> ARE YOU INTERESTED

<hypnotizd> VISIT THE HORSE HEAD FARM

<Purpled> omw

<iJevin> Is that what I think it is

<Welsknight> character development

<Purpled> ok no more welsknight wednesdays

<Welsknight> D:

<iJevin> noooo

[private chat log]

Untitled
members:
<BdoubleO100>
<Docm77>

[11:56 PM]

<BdoubleO100> if u had to choose between licking a slug or having worms for bracelets wwhat would u pick

<Docm77> why are you asking me about slugs

<BdoubleO100> legit question!!

<Docm77> I don't know- worm bracelets I guess?

<Docm77> do NOT ask me more of these questions

<BdoubleO100> interesting....very interesting....

<Docm77> How in the world did you even come up with this…

<Docm77> And why did you suddenly text me I thought I blocked you in chat

<Docm77> go do your work

<BdoubleO100> Wait purpled is not this sassy to me

<BdoubleO100> who this

<Docm77> ...docm77

<BdoubleO100> Eh

<BdoubleO100> ok then!!

<Docm77> okay?

<BdoubleO100> milk first or cereal first

<Docm77> I don't eat cereal.

<BdoubleO100> wHAY

<BdoubleO100> SLSJSKSJD EJWY??????

<Docm77> I just don't understand the appeal? I'd rather eat eggs or chicken for breakfast. Sure it takes time, but it's healthier and fulfilling

<BdoubleO100> PATHETCI

<BdoubleO100> ARE YPU OMSANE?? ARE YPH LIVIMG?????? WHAT EVERONE LOBES CEREALS

<BdoubleO100> are YOU DEAD

<Docm77> Only on the inside

<Docm77> scientifically correct too bc im technically half dead

<BdoubleO100> YIKES

<BdoubleO100> no youre not

<BdoubleO100> ur just stupid

<Docm7> Goodbye

<BdoubleO100> >:(

[MAIN CHAT LOG]

[02:21 AM]

<Renthedog> I’ve made a mistake

<joehillssays> We all have

<joehillssays> That’s what makes us humans

<ZombieCleo> bold thing to say when you’re on a server where almost half of the members are nonhumans

<joehillssays> fair

<cubfan135> What’s up Ren?

<Renthedog> Doc’s coffee screwed me over

<Renthedog> I took a sip and now I can’t sleep :(

<cubfan135> lmao

<joehillssays> oof just one sip?

<ZombieCleo> dumbass

<Renthedog> mothertrucker dude

<Renthedog> that hurts my feelers

<Renthedog> hurts like a buttcheeck on a stick

<ZombieCleo> Please just say fuck

<ZombieCleo> I can’t take this anymore

<cubfan135> Or did the coffee make you like this

<Renthedog> dunno

<cubfan135> It’s the coffee alright

<ZombieCleo> fucking hell

<Renthedog> don’t swear :((

<joehillssays> is Purpled online

<joehillssays> he’s usually still up at this hour

<joehillssays> Cleo starts cursing again bc of him :(

<PearlescentMoon> He’s most likely asleep which is good, and you all should be sleeping too actually

<Renthedog> Pearl!! U awake? “D

<PearlescentMoon> i just woke up to a get a glass of water but woah this is a rare sight

<PearlescentMoon> Why are YOU awake, Ren?

<joehillssays> He got ahold of Doc’s coffee 

<ZombieCleo> saying this from personal experience

<ZombieCleo> that thing is not coffee, it’s just fucking charcoal

<ZombieCleo> i cant taste anything besides the sheer bitterness of it

<ZombieCleo> shit’s nasty

<Xisuma> one more curse word and I'm hitting the ban button

<ZombieCleo> omg

<Renthedog> X!! You're awake at this hour? :D

<Xisuma> It seems like I've forgotten to mute my comms before I go to sleep.

<Renthedog> an honest mistake!!!!!

<Renthedog> sorry for waking u up!!!!

<Xisuma> It's ok

<cubfan135> you mute your comms at night?

<ZombieCleo> what if someone needs your admin powers when ur asleep

<ZombieCleo> no one can contact u if u have it on dnd

<Xisuma> if you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and god 

<Renthedog> why are we talking abt dungeons and dragons? Can I play?

<Xisuma> go to sleep ren before you regret ever waking up

<Renthedog> X??????? 

<ZombieCleo> jdfkhkdsjh

Chapter Text

[07:12 PM]

[Xisuma muted player: <Purpled>]

[Xisuma removed <Chat> option from player: <Purpled>]

<Tango> ? 

<GeminiTay> wait why

<Xisuma> I just checked Purpled's player code and turns out his birthday is in two days

<hypnotizd> ooooo

<Stressmonster101> :0

<hypnotizd> how old is he again?

<Docm77> thought the kid was 12

<iJevin> He’s said that he’s seventeen multiple times, he’ll literally kill you doc

<Docm77> Well good thing he isn’t here, then

<Xisuma> Does anyone have any plans? 

<Xisuma> Because it’ll be nice if we make a small party for Purpled, for his birthday

<GeminiTay> We can treat it as his official welcome party like me and Pearl!

<PearlescentMoon> ooooooo I like that :D

<impulseSV> Mumbo you should be the mc for the welcome party

<MumboJumbo> Why me?

<falsesymmetry> I mean you were the one who led the opening of Season 8

<MumboJumbo> I guess?? But we all know how that went

<ZombieCleo> people getting slain by iron golems wasn’t your fault, it’s bc of their own dumbassery

<Grian> that was an accident >:(

<ZombieCleo> yeah yeah

<Xisuma> anyways, it’s really up to you guys to decide what to do, I’m down with whatever. We’ll make it small and simple

<GoodTimeWithScar> Small? Why don’t we make it grand and extra? :D

<Xisuma> Everyone is busy these days, that’s why I said small because it takes less time

<Xisuma> But if you’re up for it, I guess it’s fine?

<joehillssays> Though I’m pretty sure Purpled won’t like a fancy party, I think he likes owning shiny things but not spending those shiny things, yknow?

<Tango> then we’ll go somewhere in the middle

<xBCrafted> do we even have time to prepare? 

<Stressmonster101> Come on, we're hermits! If we join forces we can build countries in a day! <3

<Renthedog> True! A lavish birthday party decor will be done in no time :D

<Welsknight> Are we keeping it a secret? 

<Xisuma> I feel like he's the type of person who forgets his birthday like some of you, so giving him a surprise party would be fun :) 

<Keralis> My lips are sealed! 

<Xisuma> We’ll plan our separate projects using our own private chats so you can message anyone you wanna work with. I’m gonna unmute Purpled before he gets suspicious

<iJevin> kk

[Xisuma unmuted player: <Purpled>]

[Xisuma added <Chat> option to player: <Purpled>]

[09:01 AM]

<Purpled> hey tomorrow is my birthday

<Purpled> you will be legally obligated to give me stuff

<Xisuma> oh

<joehillssays> I knew it

<Iskall85> OMEGALUL

<ZombieCleo> LMFAOO

<PearlescentMoon> There goes our plan! :D

<Tango> WHYY I’VE SPENT HOURS FIGURING OUT WHAT TO DO

<Purpled> what plan

<Purpled> wait were you guys planning to make a surprise birthday party or something

<Purpled> nerds

<Keralis> We're doing it for you :(

<Purpled> ah

<Purpled> respectfully, keralis, i appreciate u but this ain’t it lol

<Purpled> I don't like parties anyway bc the last one I attended (more specifically, crashed) was full of death and murder and weird ass fruit punch

<Purpled> did i ever tell you about the mind controlling slash brainwashing blood vines cult 

<Welsknight> You did and you never elaborate on that

<Keralis> sounds festive! :D

<Xisuma> keralis no

<GoodTimesWithScar> So what do you usually do on your birthday, Purpled?

<Purpled> i just play bedwars or party games nonstop with my friends in Hypixel for the whole day

<GeminiTay> Sounds exhausting :0

<Purpled> ok and??? It’s fun and we get cash

<Xisuma> …Is playing a death game a good way out though

<Purpled> well it’s fun to me so idc

<Purpled> oh yeah did Walli ever text you back? Did my message even reach him?

<Xisuma> Unfortunately no, but the message status says that it’s already received. Not sure if he’s read it though

<Purpled> man

<Purpled> I guess this is the first bday without them in years

<Grian> aww come on, you have us!

<Purpled> lmao what can u do lol

<Purpled> build a whole bedwars map in a vanilla survival multiplayer server? yeah right

<Tango> bet

<Purpled> wait what

<Tango> You'll see! 

<Tango> better yet, if you help me we'll 1) finish it quickly 2) make it fun 3) bigger better stronger

<Purpled> wtf u can't be serious

<Purpled> a bedwars arena is big as hell

<Zedaph> we can make it happen :D

<falsesymmetry> I’ve seen a few maps before. it’s quite easy to build, even by a single person

<GoodTimeWithScar> Oooh! How about we do floating islands? 

<cubfan135> we can build it extra high

<Grian> Voidless bedwars exists, right? We can make it like that!

<Iskall85> yeah but death by fall damage is way funnier

<Purpled> stop x3

<Purpled> are you for real

<Tango> yes we’re being real!

<Purpled> can you even do it

<Tango> do not test me

<Purpled> what the fuck

<Tango> hush just meet me at my base!

<cubfan135> Just let Tango do his magic

<Tango> I swear this will be the best bedwars arena ever

[01:22 PM]

<impulseSV> does anyone know where Zedaph is? We’re supposed to meet at his base 10 mins ago  and he’s not even here

<Zedaph> still making a bedwars arena with purpled, tango and grian! 

<impulseSV> Where is that?

<Tango> -( coordinates )-

<impulseSV> on my way!

<Tango> we’re gonna make a legit serverwide bedwars game after this just you wait

<Docm77> aren't you too old for Bedwars

<Tango> eat shit

<Docm77> christ

<Xisuma> Watch your language.

<Xisuma> We seriously need to talk about how much Purpled had influenced some of you into swearing so much

<Zedaph> suck on what

<Xisuma> What?

<Zedaph> suck on deez nuts lol

<Xisuma> .

<Zedaph> omg imso ssorry x i’ll give u a discoutnt for ur next purhcase

<iskall85> LMAOOOOOO

<Xisuma> every single one of you is on thin ice. Very thin. Extremely. 

<Zedaph> NOOOO

[03:21 PM]

<Xisuma> who changed one of my villager’s name to dababy

<Purpled> who else

<Xisuma> Why did you do that

<Purpled> why wouldn’t I

<Purpled> lessgo

<Purpled> Also I took some copper from your chests

<Xisuma> Purpled, we've talked about this.

<Purpled> i put a few diamonds there dw

<Purpled> I didn't steal

<Xisuma> Oh thank you

<Xisuma> Anyways, how’s the arena? Any progress?

<GoodTimeWithScar> It’s going great! I visited a few times to help and it looks amazing so far

<Tango> True!! I think we can start the first official game tomorrow, we’re about to do a test run in a bit

<Purpled> a lot of other people stopped by to help too, ty for that

<Stressmonster101> No worries! 

<Etho> ez 

<xBCrafted> I visited once and the height looked very intimidating sdjgdkjfh

<GeminiTay> It’s been a while since the last time I played Bedwars ahh

<Purpled> no worries u will get used to it

<Purpled> the game sucks at first but you’ll learn to enjoy it

<xBCrafted> :0 are you reassuring me

<Purpled> is that what it's called

<Purpled> I just want us to play together

<GeminiTay> awwh

<iJevin> W

<Iskall85> we got another win boys

<Purpled> I really want everyone to try bedwars so I can have a reason to swing a sword at moving targets beside animals

<GeminiTay> D:

<xBCrafted> D:

<Stressmonster101> D:

<joehillssays> good riddance 

<GoodTimeWithScar> D:

<Iskall85> nvm then

<Purpled> the first game is gonna start in the morning!!!

<Purpled> be there or else

[PRIVATE CHAT log]

spice girls
members:
<falsesymmetry>
<Xisuma>

[07:32 PM]

<falsesymmetry> mate

<falsesymmetry> does he know?

<Xisuma> Nope

<falsesymmetry> you’re telling me he's clueless? 

<falsesymmetry> there’s no way

<Xisuma> Purpled doesn’t know, I’m pretty sure

<Xisuma> He would’ve recognized me the moment we met

<falsesymmetry> this is killing me

<falsesymmetry> just tell him you made the goddamn game

<Xisuma> LANGUAGE

<Xisuma> FALSE I BELIEVED IN YOU

<falsesymmetry> THEY’VE SAID WORSE THINGS SHUT UP

<Xisuma> this is upsetting

<falsesymmetry> geez

<falsesymmetry> So are you gonna tell him or not? Because honestly I’m curious about the outcome

<Xisuma> I don’t think it’s important, honestly?

<Xisuma> Modern Bedwars is quite different from my original game

<Xisuma> though they still have the same mechanics, they've improved it quite a lot

<Xisuma> but Purpled loves the Hypixel Bedwars, not mine so 

<falsesymmetry> yeah but you invented the game mode!

<Xisuma> ideas are for everyone to enjoy :)

<falsesymmetry> I guess so

<falsesymmetry> He’ll lose his mind once he finds out

<Xisuma> Maybe not now

<Xisuma> Perhaps one day?

<falsesymmetry> why are you hyping this up

<falsesymmetry> literally just tell him

<Xisuma> I’m not??? Like I said I don’t think it’s important

<falsesymmetry> maaan

<falsesymmetry> I'll be taking some of your copper as well screw you

<Xisuma> WHY

[MAIN CHAT log]

[09:01 AM]

<Purpled> a very good morning

<Purpled> im gonna start this game in an hour and if you don't show up I will report you missing to security

<Tango> I literally just woke up

<Grian> NOOOOO DONT

<Stressmonster101> Ohh we’re starting already??

<Zedaph> ON MY WAY!!

<GeminiTay> We have security?

<Purpled> @falsesymmetry @Docm77

<Docm77> huh

<falsesymmetry> im literally across the building from where you're standing kiddo

<Purpled> Exactly

<Purpled> u two keep stuff in check and watch if anyone's cheating

<falsesymmetry> sounds easy enough

<Purpled> I fully authorize u to slice and dice anyone whos hacking

<Docm77> Quite bold of you to order us around

<Docm77> what are YOU doing? 

<Purpled> ur mom

<Tango> LOL

<Docm77> why are you like this

<Etho> just take the L doc

<cubfan135> So what game are we playing?

<Purpled> we’re gonna play 4 players bedwars and we need more ppl

<BdoubleO100> I HAVEN’T PLAYED BEDWARS IN A LONG TIME

<Docm77> same

<Purpled> well we’ll be playing it right now old man

<Purpled> im gonna destroy each and every one of u

<Renthedog> EPIC

<Keralis> It’s essentially a PvP-based game, right?

<Purpled> yep

<MumboJumbo> Ahhh then I’ll have to skip that one

<MumboJumbo> don’t wanna kill anybody :(

<Purpled> pussy

<Xisuma> Purpled.

<Purpled> I mean pansy the flower

<MumboJumbo> I do love pansies

<MumboJumbo> they're very lovely

<GoodTimeWithScar> like u <3

<MumboJumbo> aww

<Etho> What’s in it for the winner?

<Purpled> idk maybe diamonds? We literally made the the arena just to play for fun

<cubfan135> You should charge a few diamonds for the entry fee so the winners will get everything in the end, just a suggestion

<Purpled> ooooo good idea

<GoodTimeWithScar> can I suggest IOUs haha :D

<Xisuma> NO

<Xisuma> Don't even think about it

<Purpled> ooo i’ll consider it

<Xisuma> h

<Keralis1> hmmmm now we REALLY gotta win!

<impulseSV> Purpled please don’t make IOUs as the winning prize

<impulseSV> i know a thing or two about selling souls

<iskall85> same

<xBCrafted> ;DDD

<Purpled> yeah but this way it’ll be more intense

<Purpled> also pinkhead we need admin powers to make some stuff work and to avoid cheating, if u can pls change our player tags to colors and change the white team to purple or orange bc its hard to see esp in the sky with this many ppl ig

<Purpled> and i think u should disable the head drops thing bc inventory space is a thing

<Purpled> add custom commands or something so we know when a bed breaks and who owns it

<Purpled> don't forget to set the villagers too

<Xisuma> Wow

<Purpled> see u there!!!!!!

<Xisuma> ...okay

<falsesymmetry> If only he knew

<Xisuma> sigh

[09:5 AM]

<TinFoilChef> Don't die

<Purpled> too late, that’s literally the point of the game o7

<TinFoilChef> well, dont get seriously hurt then

<TinFoilChef> Have fun

<Purpled> yessir

-GAME 1- 

[10:09 AM]

<GoodTimeWithScar> How do I make a bridge again

GoodTimeWithScar fell from a high place

<Grian> we’re off to a good start

[10:15 AM]

[VICTORY > Red Team!]

<GeminiTay> That was fast omg

<xBCrafted> yeah bc purpled was rushing like thERE’S NO TOMORROW

<Purpled> LLLLLLL

<Zedaph> It’s just the beginning!!

<Tango> TRUE this is just my warm up round

<Purpled> THAT'S THE SPIRIT

<Purpled> shuffle our teams again gogogogo

<Xisuma> in a sec

-GAME 3-

[10:42 AM]

cubfan135 was slain by Tango

Keralis fell from a high place

BdoubleO100 fell from a high place

Tango was slain by Etho

[BED DESTRUCTION > Blue Bed was sacrificed by Etho!]

<Tango> XISUMA HELP

<Tango> MY MINING FATIGUE TRAP DIDN’T WORK SOMEHOW

<Xisuma> Really?

<Xisuma> let’s meet at your bed and I’ll check it out

<iJevin> that sounds so wrong

<Xisuma> Do Not even think about it.

<joehillssays> ooo capital dn

<joehillssays> you're dead

[BED DESTRUCTION > Green Bed was sacrificed by Iskall85!]

joehillssays was slain by Iskall85

<Iskall85> Deez Nuts lol

<joehillssays> we've made one deez nuts joke in this chapter already come on

-GAME 5-

[11:07 AM]

[BED DESTRUCTION > Aqua Bed was sacrificed by Purpled!]

iJevin was slain by Purpled

hypnotizd was slain by Purpled

ZombieCleo was slain by Zedaph

xBCrafted was slain by Purpled

[TEAM ELIMINATION > Aqua Team has been eliminated!]

<hypnotizd> this is bullying

-GAME 7-

[11:30 AM]

<Purpled> Grian I see you

<Purpled> if u have some, drop a tnt at green's defense and break their bed immediately

<Purpled> no one's at base rn

[BED DESTRUCTION > Green Bed was sacrificed by Grian!]

<Grian> THE MOMENT OF MY LIFE

<Purpled> NICEEE

<impulseSV> THAT'S NOT FAIR

<BdoubleO100> HE’S NOT EVEN YOUR TEAMMATE

<Keralis> that's it i will never leave my base ever again

-GAME 8-

[11:46 AM]

<Iskall85> XISUMAVOID WHERE ARE YOU I'M GLITCHING OUT

<Renthedog> WHERE DID YOU THROW YOUR ENDER PEARL

<Iskall85> I DON'T KNOW

<Xisuma> hold on omw

Iskall85 was slain by Stressmonster101

<Iskall85> STRESS?????? 

<Stressmonster101> IM SORRY I HAD TO

-GAME 10-

[12:33 PM]

<GeminiTay> I can see you drinking your invis potion from miles away Purpled!

<Purpled> no you don’t

<GeminiTay> Back off from our bed!!

<Purpled> no

<GeminiTay> go awayyyyy

<Purpled> no +2

<GeminiTay> aw come on

<GeminiTay> newbies solidarity? Pretty please? no kill policy? 

<Purpled> nope 

[BED DESTRUCTION > Yellow Bed was sacrificed by Purpled!]

GeminiTay was slain by Purpled

<PearlescentMoon> new on new violence

<GeminiTay> PEARL YOU’RE NOT HELPING

-GAME 14-

[12:56 PM]

<Purpled> this is the longest bedwars game I've ever been in

<Purpled> where tf are you guys

<Etho> vibing

<hypnotizd> none of your business

<Purpled> can we just break our own beds and have a battle royale in mid

<Welsknight> no

<GeminiTay> Let us chill in our base pls

<Purpled> skill issue

<GoodTimeWithScar> ok Mr. I-haven't-died-even-once

<Purpled> ok mr im-always-dead-in-the-first-5-seconds

<GoodTimeWithScar> rude

<Purpled> lmao losers

<ZombieCleo> @ every teams except green, let's ambush them

<Zedaph> truce

<Grian> AGREED

<impulseSV> let's do it! 

<Purpled> BRING IT ON

<cubfan135> oh boy

<Renthedog> PURPLED WHY

[02:33 PM]

[GAME ?]

<Xisuma> Uhh before I begin the next game, are you guys planning to stop anytime soon

<Purpled> we literally just started

<Xisuma> We’ve been playing for 4 hours.

<Purpled> no one's leaving this arena before i say you can leave this arena

<VintageBeef> please no I'm gonna lose my mind

<Purpled> what, are you saying no to the birthday boy

<Xisuma> uh

<Purpled> yeah that’s what I thought

<Xisuma> You can’t use the birthday card on me

<Purpled> start it right now

<Xisuma> Just one more

[03:50 PM]

<MumboJumbo> You guys are still going?? 

<Xisuma> unfortunately. 

[04:38 PM]

Purpled was slain by Grian

[TEAM ELIMINATION > Purple Team has been eliminated!]

[VICTORY > Red Team!]

<MumboJumbo> ????????? 

<Docm77> woah

<falsesymmetry> wait does that make it his first death on the server?

<hypnotizd> finally

<Welsknight> Over a game that he suggested? Rip

<ZombieCleo> OH MAN I WISH THE PLAYER HEAD DROP WAS TURNED ON

<ZombieCleo> MISSED OPPORTUNITY

<Purpled> ok we’ll stop for now

<Iskall85> IS HE RAGE QUITTING OMEGALUL

<Purpled> shut up

<Purpled> shut up

<Purpled> shut up

<Purpled> shut up

<Grian> I FINALLY LANDED A BLOW

<Grian> THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

<MumboJumbo> grian hush I can literally see him on fire near the main spawn point

<Grian> IM SO HAPPYY

<Grian> SORRY FOR KILLING YOU THOUGH

<Purpled> SHUT UP

<Purpled> SHUT UP

<Purpled> SHUT UP

<Grian> BUT I WON THAT FAIR AND SQUARE

<Purpled> YOU DID AND I'M PROUD OF YOU

<Purpled> U LISTENED TO ALL OF MY TIPS

<Purpled> EITHER WAY IM PISSED SKJGHKRJDGHRTD;[G

<Welsknight> Is this how backhanded sportsmanship looks like

<ZombieCleo> No no I think he’s genuinely proud

<ZombieCleo> although with the wrong reasons lol

<Purpled> WE’RE STOPPING

<Xisuma> If you say so

<Xisuma> ….We’ve been playing for the whole day anyway

<Purpled> FOR NOW

<Xisuma> I’m changing the gamemode back

[05:19 PM]

<TinFoilChef> So how’s everyone doing? Did you all have fun?

<Purpled> I hate bedwars

<Purpled> I hate bedwars

<Purpled> I hate bedwars

<Purpled> I hate bedwars

<Purpled> I hate bedwars

<xBCrafted> Not all of us it seems

<Iskall85> LMAOOO UR MAD

<Grian> Happy birthday Purpled </3

<Purpled> be quiet grian, ur still dead to me

<Grian> BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE PROUD OF ME

<Purpled> anyways to everyone besides grian, who wants to play bedwars again

<Purpled> same time tomorrow

<GeminiTay> Didn’t you just say you hate it?

<Purpled> i’ll just pull a ranboo and pretend i’ve never said that

<Purpled> haha what are we talking about again

<PearlescentMoon> what’s a Ranboo?

<Etho> or whos ranboo

<Grian> You’ve never mentioned that name before!

<Purpled> dont know + dont care + ratio + stfu + no bedwars for u tomorrow

<Grian> PURPLED DON'T BE LIKE THIS

<Grian> DONT TAKE MY BEDWARS PRIVILEGES

<Grian> Wait a minute does that mean our team has a Purpled IOU

<Purpled> can someone tell grian I'm not talking to him? thanks 

<Grian> NOOOO

<iskall85> LMAO

[07:53 PM]

<Purpled> also why the fuck is the moon big

Chapter Text

[PRIVATE CHAT log]
‘power puff girls + purpled’
members:
<impulseSV>
<Tango>
<Zedaph>
<Purpled>

[03:22 PM]

<impulseSV> hey does anyone have iron? 

<impulseSV> my iron farm broke and i need some iron now :(

<Tango> no i've used it all

<impulseSV> How? Don’t you have one of the biggest iron farms on the server?

<Tango> using them all for a rocket >:)

<Zedaph> why

<Tango> the world will end in a month and a half

<Tango> approximately

<Tango> i want to be prepared

<Zedaph> how do you know all that

<Tango> .

<Tango> premonition

<Zedaph> bullshit

<Tango> you talk big for someone whos in toe eating range

<Zedaph> yummy

<impulseSV> good lord

<impulseSV> why am i friends with you two again

<Zedaph> pfffft u love us

<ImpulseSV> unfortunately

<Purpled> gross

<Zedaph> oh I forgot you’re here!

<Purpled> Tango i need some iron too

<Tango> Sure i'll spare you some

<impulseSV> You'll give iron to Purpled but not me??

<Zedaph> He deserves it

<Purpled> L

<impulseSV> i did not come here to be bullied

<Purpled> - (image.sent ) - [a screenshot of the ‘Leave the chat’ option in the comms settings]

<Purpled> door’s right there

<impulseSV> BUT I MADE THIS CHAT

<Tango> LLLLLLL

[MAIN CHAT log]

[07:22 PM]

<Keralis> bubbles just came over and now there are leaf everywhere

<Xisuma> *Leaves

<Keralis> where are you going

<Xisuma> oh my god

<Keralis> shashwammyyy is the server portal fixed?

<Xisuma> Keralis I feel like staying up late is starting to take a toll on you

<Xisuma> And I’m still working on the portal, don’t you worry.

<Keralis> Yay! 

<Xisuma> Please go to sleep

<Keralis> But the moon is out there looking pretty!

<Keralis> I'm gonna make a blueprint for a little satellite thing <3

<Xisuma> Nothing about you is little, Keralis. I'm sure it'll be great

<iJevin> that sounds sus

<Xisuma> I was talking about his builds. Why must you say it like that

<iJevin> is there anything you'd like to share to the class

<Xisuma> Jevin if you decide to say anything more about this I will cover your whole floor with lava

<iJevin> NO WTF

<Purpled> haha

<Purpled> slime

<Purpled> and lava

<Xisuma> Something wrong? 

<Purpled> nothing lol

<Purpled> also pinky you said you're still fixing the portal? How's it going? 

<iJevin> aww pinky? 

<Stressmonster101> thats cute <3

<Xisuma> I've been promoted to Pinky it seems.

<Keralis> he doesn't curse you out anymore at least! 

<Purpled> ew just answer

<Xisuma> … If I'm being honest I don't really know what I can do. I've tried almost everything and it keeps giving me the same answer. Just a permanent loading screen, if you count that as an answer. 

<Xisuma> I can physically feel it processing but I don't know exactly what it's doing so we're playing the waiting game now. 

<Xisuma> not to mention the moon is… well, big. I think it’s the side effects of the portal fixing itself?

<Xisuma> I’ve never seen something like that before

<Purpled> ?? This is literally your server?? 

<Xisuma> It is, but I'm not all knowing.

<Xisuma> how strong do you think admins are? 

<Purpled> i dont know, pretty damn strong? 

<Purpled> apparently my admin can revive dead people

<Iskall85> wait, for real?

<Iskall85> How

<Purpled> I overheard something about a book that can revive people from my uhhh former associate 

<Purpled> dunno how it works, but apparently the owner of the book aka the admin already revived a couple of people? It's legit

<Welsknight> Question, did they ‘revive’ members who have respawn problems or members who are permanently dead?

<Purpled> the second one

<Purpled> my server has a three lives system, remember?

<Purpled> that’s why my first death here was so jarring to me

<Grian> aw sorry abt that :((

<Purpled> no dw im over it

<Iskall85> thats good!! 

<Stressmonster101> Your old server sounds really terrible, we’ve asked it before but do you really wanna return home?

<Purpled> i

<Purpled> am not planning to go back to that server

<Purpled> but I do want to meet my friends in hypixel

<Purpled> I don’t really have a set ‘home’, I just go back to my friends and dogchamp

<Xisuma> So your first priority right now is reconnecting to the Hypixel server?

<Purpled> Yeah

<Purpled> I honestly couldn’t care less about my old server

<Purpled> they completely destroyed my heritage, used me, tricked me, wronged me, and just straight up forgot about me

<Purpled> who wants to live in a place like that

<Etho> trauma dumping on a wednesday night is my favorite

<Xisuma> Etho be quiet

<Welsknight> wait what heritage?

<Purpled> uh

<Purpled> my old UFO

<Purpled> someone blew it up just for the heck of it

<Purpled> told me to join his country and everything

<VintageBeef> What!

<VintageBeef> Hold on, your heritage is a whole UFO?

<Renthedog> PURPLED YOU’RE AN ALIEN?!

<Purpled> Geez what gives it away

<Purpled> It’s not like I have actual functioning antennas on my freaking head

<Renthedog> I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CRICKET DUDE

<Purpled> what the fuck ren

<Purpled> u wanna die? 

<Renthedog> NO THAT'D BE TERRIBLE

<Purpled> I have never been so insulted in all my life

<Renthedog> IM SORRY

<Stressmonster101> Not even the weirdest species we’ve ever seen! Please know that this server is a safe place for you and everyone, Purpled <3

<Purpled> thank you Stress

<Stressmonster101> :D

<iJevin> jesus

<iJevin> if you’re an alien and that guy blew up your quote on quote heritage then isn’t that a hate crime lol

<VintageBeef> technically

<Purpled> fuck

<Purpled> I got hate crimed by a fucking duck

<Xisuma> I feel like it’s a very long story.

<Xisuma> Purpled, do you want to continue talking? Stress and I are near your base. We can talk there if you want?

<Purpled> sure I’ll open door for u 2

<Purpled> bring me poptarts

<Stressmonster101> Already on me!

<Purpled> YOOOOO

<cubfan135> anyways

<cubfan135> when can we cash in on that Purpled + team IOU?

<Purpled> fuck you

<Purpled> fuck you

<Purpled> fuck you

<Xisuma> Language

<Purpled> fuck you

<Xisuma> Grian, Cub, Pearl and Jevin won the game fair and square, you’ve promised them favors. I’m sure Scar, Ren and Tango are okay with it

<Renthedog> yeah I’m good with whatever!

<Tango> free labor!!

<GoodTimeWithScar> as long as it’s reasonable

<Purpled> my items are out of the question

<Grian> Don’t worry! I’ll cash in later :D

<Purpled> that sounds really freaking sus 

<Grian> Me?? Nahhh 

<Purpled> ew

[11:56 AM]

<Purpled> - (image.sent ) - [an image of a huge Cave Cricket chilling on someone's hand, the lighting is almost nonexistent] -

<Purpled> is a Rhaphidophoridae aka a cave cricket, yes they exist, yes they're this big, yes they can and will eat human flesh if the opportunity is there

<Purpled> also they can jump higher than the average 12 year olds

<Stressmonster101> Um????

<iskall85> EW EW EW EW EW

<iskall85> WHYYYYY

<Renthedog> I want one!!

<iskall85> WHY WOULD YOU WANT IT THEY'RE DISGUSTING

<Grian> saying I want one just to spite you <3

<Keralis1> you were ok with cockroaches but not crickets?? 

<iskall85> TWO DIFFERENT THINGS

<Docm77> i'd like to see it actually, to see how big it is in real life

<iskall85> of course YOU would want to see it

<falsesymmetry> It's just an insect, Iskall

<iskall85> yea an insect thats probably bigger than my PALMS

<Xisuma> I want one too

<iJevin> u already have someone who can jump that high, X

<BdoubleO100> ARE U TELLING ME THAT PURPLED IS CRICKET

<iJevin> i mean i didnt mention any names

<Purpled> WHAT DID YOU SAY

<BdoubleO100> OH NO

<Purpled> I AM NOT A FUCKING CRICKET

<Etho> run bdubs

<Etho> also purpled did you send that just to be petty

<Etho> is it bc of the cockroach pics we sent a few days ago

<Etho> did you not enjoy it

<Purpled> I still don’t get why you’d want to have cockroaches as PETS

<iskall85> they're neat that's why!!

<iskall85> Not like you'd understand anyway lol

<Stressmonster101> how can you three live in constant fear;;;;;

<xBCrafted> I can't even imagine myself having a pet in this environment, let alone a dangerous one such as CAVE CRICKETS apparently

<VintageBeef> not to mention that cockroach thing

<VintageBeef> Also something’s telling me that that fun fact isn’t true purp

<Purpled> But it is!! Real not fake

<ZombieCleo> is that tfc’s cave in the photo or am I tripping

<Xisuma> Oh, I think you’re right.

<Xisuma> what are you doing at TFC’s base, Purpled?

<Renthedog> come to think of it, don't you have purple sleeves? Why are your hands in that pic so big? You're wearing a blue shirt today? 

<Purpled> oop

<Xisuma> ….Is that TFC’s pet.

<Purpled> .

<Purpled> yes

<xBCrafted> Yikes

<Stressmonster100> WHY DOES HE HAVE THAT AS A PET?????????

<joehillssays> one does not simply ask questions about TFC

<iJevin> LMAOOOOAOAOAOAO

<MumboJumbo> ….can we stop talking about this?

<iskall85>   - (image.sent ) - [an image of cockroaches in a small tank] -

<iskall85> NOT BEFORE YOU APPRECIATE THEM

<falsesymmetry> I will come to your base myself and burn them all to the ground

<Purpled> YES FALSE DO IT

<iskall85> STOPPPPPPP DONT COME ANY CLOSER

<Etho> this is a hate crime against cockroaches

<Xisuma> Oh dear

[02:22 AM]

<Purpled> holy shit wanna know a funny story

<Purpled> i think this is the third or idk, fourth war against this apparently tyrant president right, I only heard about the news like a day before they’re gonna do a government takeover to put that guy down or whatever

<Purpled> bc i was like woah this is big and kinda had nothing better to do back then, it's dangerous to be dragged around so ofc i tried to insert myself to it to avoid that

<Purpled> i geared up in full netherite, prepared my bow and arrows, my axe and sword, some potions, all the necessary combat thing yada yada

<Purpled> i actually didnt know anything besides that the tnt crazed weirdo wanted to be president by overthrowing the current one so i tried to slide myself into the government group to know what’s going on then got roped into being one of their soldiers, i put their flag on my shield to prove loyalty and everything

<Purpled> but ofc im not ACTUALLY one of them so i tried to walk around and talk to people i had a positive relationship with to have them explain the current war status and get a better grasp of the situation, plus i wanted to help too but that didnt go well bc ppl were too busy with themselves

<Purpled> at that point i already figured they didnt need me but i was too stubborn to leave and still wanna be part of history

<Purpled> small fights happened left and right, i was aiding the government team so i kept shooting them with the government guys

<Purpled> the other side had already lost tons of stuff and the war barely started, then i saw and followed this pig guy leading a group of what i assumed was the government takeover guys to a secret bunker full of items and armor, literally NO ONE pointed out why i'm there with them even though i was supposed to be on the enemy’s side bc they probably didn’t even know that fact LMAOOOOOOO

<Purpled> god i even SHOT like 3 of these guys, they didnt realize i was there fighting!!! so of course, i snatched a few goodies with no hesitation and the funniest bit was even tho I went back to the country after the secret bunker trip and started shooting the takeover guys again, almost no one attacked me back, no one rly saw me

<Purpled> i wasnt super allegiant to either side so i could get away with it ez

<Purpled> keep in mind that i still had no idea what the fuck was really happening, i was still on the government side i guess? The admin told me i could help so i figured he was also pro government, though even tho im on that side i have zero knowledge about it and im still by myself

<Purpled> i kept switching sides lmao thinking back it was so chaotic

<Purpled> so THE BIG FIGHT happened, it didn’t happen too long bc the tnt maniac and the admin had a truce for a minute and led us to where this president was. I kept forgetting that oh yeah where was he- like why wasnt he here in the war? This war was him (the literal president) vs the government takeover guys right (i wanna call them anarchists but i dont think that title fit them though, they didnt exactly want to take down the entire country, just the president)

<Purpled> so many things were happening at once, I ended up siding with no one in particular because I realized I might actually die during a war and I value myself too much for that. No way im dying for a country that im not even in, and even though the revolution guys were nice they’re still shady

<Purpled> aight so the admin led us to this beat up drug van and there he was, the tyrannical president that everyone apparently hated, drunk out of his mind

<Purpled> which was funny bc?????? So this was the guy? He started this shit? He’s the evildoer? Kinda sad, really

<Purpled> the tnt freak and the takeover guys argued with him about his bad deeds and stuff and BAM the president died from a heart attack before they could execute him

<Purpled> and everyones like WOOOOO HE’S DEAD POG then they elected one of my former friends to be the president

<Purpled> idk what rly happened next but this pig guy got really angry and spawned withers everywhere and it destroyed the buildings in that country

<Purpled> not long after BOOM the entire floor collapsed, turned out the tnt bitch pressed a button or something to activate the tnt, then he was stabbed by someone who’s apparently his fucking dad? Idk so many things were happening

<Purpled> this and that happened, arguments ensued, blah blah blah, didn’t rly pay attention

<Purpled> but i started to consider making more connections with people in the server but seeing where i am now, you guessed it, it went horribly, horribly wrong

<Purpled> the fact that no one bothered to remember who i am and who I'm with,,, Terrible

<Purpled> oh i managed to kill one wither and i used the nether star for a beacon to put in my old skeleton lair!!!!! 

<Purpled> there u have it folks, thats how purpled killed his first wither on the server (i think) (tbh idk i dont remember)

<Etho> huh

<Etho> this is not something that i thought i’d read at 3 am

<Purpled> then congrats u’ve read it

<Purpled> i mean that’s the most ive been included in that server and u cant lie that the way it ended up is kinda funny

<Purpled> also this sonic the hedgehog kinnie stole my pants

<Xisuma> go to sleep Purpled before I take away your comms

<Purpled> no way

<Purpled> no wau

<Purpled> moons so fucking big rn im gonna pass ouf

<Xisuma> Purpled?

<Etho> is he asleep?

<Xisuma> thank god

<Xisuma> He’ll probably won’t even remember about this conversation but we’ll talk about it in the morning.

<Xisuma> why are you still awake, Etho?

<Etho> anime

<Xisuma> ….okay

[09:33 AM]

<Purpled> wow how did i type all of that

<Purpled> i dont even remember half of the things that i wrote

<Purpled> anyways u dont see anything

<Purpled> avert your eyes

<Etho> hey wanna check out my new storage control panel?

<Purpled> can i?

<Etho> Yeah you’re more than welcome

<Etho> and bring your trident while ur at it

<Purpled> omw

<Etho> :D

[02:34 PM]

<Keralis1> I wonder how tongues taste like

<iJevin> go french kiss someone or sum idk

<Keralis1> nooo like

<Keralis1> how does it feel if you chew an actual tongue

<Keralis1> like a legitimate tongue

<xBCrafted> oh my god im cringing just thinkinf bout that ew

<hypnotizd> it’s too early for this

<Docm77> It's 2 in the afternoon. 

<hypnotizd> yeah and? 

<Docm77> fair

<Xisuma> Keralis what in the world

<Keralis1> i was walking with bubbles right and i saw my reflection on Purpled's Walmart entrance

<Keralis1> my tongue was a bit blue after drinking smoothie so i thought if i eat my own tongue it'll taste like blueberries

<PearlescentMoon> KERALIS

<PearlescentMoon> THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

<PearlescentMoon> THAT IS NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS

<Xisuma> Please don't eat your own tongue

<impulseSV> aren’t blueberries actually purple when peeled

<xBCrafted> No they're blue, turn into green when you peel it, purple when you juice it

<Purpled> thats stupid

<xBCrafted> Nature is weird in a good way

<Purpled> I've decided that I hate blueberries

<Purpled> mf tries so hard to be quirky

<PearlescentMoon> ...it's literally just a fruit

<Docm77> excuse me that's a berry

<VintageBeef> Isn't it the same thing? 

<iJevin> wait fruits and berries aren’t the same kind? 

<Grian> why are we talking about fruity b

<Grian> is he here

<Grian> how is he here

<PearlescentMoon> grian you're hallucinating

<Grian> fruit where are you

<BdoubleO100> GUYSGSUGUYSGUYS

<BdoubleO100> WHAT EVEN

<BdoubleO100> HE BIT HIS OWN TONGUE WHAT IS HAPPENINF

<BdoubleO100> HES BLEEDING

<Purpled> pics or it didnt happen

<PearlescentMoon> THAT DUMMY

[PRIVATE CHAT log]
‘tech support’
members:
<Xisuma>
<Purpled

[4:55 PM]