Chapter Text
“—frankly excessive amount of paperwork to get around anywhere, thanks to those exams.”
“The chunin exams? I’ve heard about those, but I’ve never been. My brother has, though. He said that there were children ten times stronger than him.”
“Far more than that. They usually send their best. Now, don’t tell anyone I said this, but it’s like a power play for them, I hear. They only send the strongest brats to other villages.”
“Really?”
“Mm. Those who don’t make the cut have to wait for the ones back home.”
“Ah… Well, I hear Konoha always puts on a good show though. Maybe I’ll try to get off work so I can check it out…”
Obito tunes out the rest of the conversation as it devolves into more general chatter and forces out a breath. He’d known that the chunin exams would roll around eventually, but he hadn’t been counting on it happening so soon.
To be fair, he had been trying to avoid thinking about it at all , but that’s not really important in the grand scheme of things. What is important is the appearance of an S-Rank shinobi who could probably kick his ass six ways to Sunday blindfolded if he so wishes.
He might be over-exaggerating. He might not be. Either way, he thinks he can be forgiven for being worried about the possibility of ending up as another experiment in a snake man’s lab.
But what’s truly incredible, what really cements the idea of him having backwards luck in this world, is the fact that the looming deadline of the chunin exams is not his number one concern at the moment. No, it’s the appearance of two familiar faces that he’d rather have avoided… well, for the rest of his life, preferably.
The moment he sees them approaching, he wants nothing more than to disappear into kamui, where it’s ugly and cube-like but safe . Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the luxury of that option, because his order is still being made.
He should never have stopped to try dango. He blames Itachi for this one. Maybe if he survives this, he’ll check up on him and Kisame later, if only to mess with them. He’s already playing with fire, so he might as well keep the flame burning.
The situation would’ve raised several questions, namely ‘why the hell are Kakuzu and Hidan anywhere near a sweet’s shop?’ but the answer lies not within the town, but within the area nearby. A bounty station is only a little east of the town, so he assumes that they’ve either come from there or are on their way right now. Probably the former, since they aren’t lugging a corpse around with them.
Either way, he hopes they’re just passing through, since he actually likes having his head connected to his neck.
Though… knowing their style, albeit vaguely, the alternatives for his death are far, far worse. If Hidan manages to get his blood, or if Kakuzu got his hands on his heart—
Well. That’d be unfortunate. Probably. He’s reluctant to make any claims considering his ridiculous existence. Plus, at least one arm is safe, since it’s literally made of Plotirama’s cells.
Or is it? That’s another thing to consider. Could…
Could Hidan take out Zetsu ? He doubts that he ever would go out of his way to do it, but theoretically?
Perhaps that is something to explore when he’s not trying to avoid being seen by two immortal men with less morals than a moldy taquito.
Out of the corner of his eye, he does his best to read Hidan’s lips. “My heathen-senses are tingling.”
Obito decides that he does not want to know what that means and glances towards Kakuzu. Unfortunately, the man’s mouth is covered by a mask, so he has to go back to watching Hidan’s response for any kind of clue on what he’d said.
It must be something irritating - which is unsurprising, to say the least - because Hidan scowls and jerks his head around to glare at him.
Unfortunately, Kakuzu just so happens to be the one who’s standing closer to the sweet’s shop, which leaves Hidan looking in his direction.
Obito sees the moment he spots him. The way he squints before his eyes widen, and how he jerkily points his way. “It’s that snickerdoodle bitch!” he proclaims. Obito swallows a half-hysterical laugh and takes that as his cue to leave.
“ Sorryfortherushhereyougo ,” he word-vomits at the stunned cashier, who he takes his dango from in a rush before chucking himself into kamui just before Kakuzu turns his head.
As ryo clatters on the counter and Hidan lets out an outraged squawk, Obito chokes on a wheeze.
Doug 1, he thinks a little too giddily, Jashin 0 .