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Chapter Text

February 8, 2021 Maddie and Chimney's Apartment.

 

Buck had gone to apologise to Maddie for how he acted at the dinner with their parents and how he stormed out but when he looked in the baby box and pulled out a photo he thought was of him and Maddie was shocked and she tried to get and back and Buck made a joke about her not wanting a picture of him in her baby box she again tried to get it.

 

Buck takes a good look at the picture and the little boy doesn't have a birthmark on his eye and he turns the picture around and the date is wrong.

 

“Maddie, who is this?.” Buck asks.

 

“That's our brother and his name is Daniel.” Maddie says.

 

Buck looks at the photo and then at Maddie and he tries to remember his childhood and his parents never spoke about another sibling nor was there any sign of a sibling.

 

“Daniel died when he was 8 due to juvenile leukemia and unfortunately me,mum and dad weren't a match so the doctors suggested another way and you were conceived but the bone marrow didn't graft properly and he died shortly afterwards.” Maddie says.

 

Buck sits there in shock and he can't believe what he is hearing.

 

Maddie looks at Buck and she can see him trying to hold things together.

 

“Evan, please I need you to listen to me. I never wanted to hide this from you but mum and dad thought it was better to never tell you and I have tried to tell you so many times but I was scared and only a kid myself.” Maddie says.

 

“But you told your boyfriend since he has been acting weird for the last few days. So you don't get to make that excuse.” Buck says.

 

“Evan I had to tell Howie as he needed to know.” Maddie says.

 

“He had no right to know. The only person who should have been told was me as I'm the one that it concerns. I'm not surprised that you did this as it completely tracks as you have always thought you knew better and never listened to what I tell you.” Buck says.

 

“Evan that's not true.” Maddie says.

 

“Oh really. So when I have been hurt at work and chose to not inform you and decided to deal with it on my own what happens?.” Buck asks.

 

Maddie doesn't say anything as she knows the answer.

 

“Nothing to say. Well let me tell you. You seem to show up at my door and have a go at me for not informing you or you phone me and tell me that you had to hear it from your boyfriend who by the way had no right to tell you as you do not work for the LAFD and it has nothing to do with you but you and Han think it's ok to disregard my boundaries.” Buck says.

 

Maddie is shocked to hear Buck speak to her like this and for him to call Chimney by his last name is concerning.

 

Buck storms past Maddie but when he reaches the door he turns around.

 

“I see you for who you really are now and I'm done with you so stay out of my life and I'll be telling your precious boyfriend the same thing.” Buck says and he opens the door and walks out.

 

Maddie immediately phones Chimney but it goes to voicemail and she hangs up and texts him instead.

 

Chimney texts back saying he will keep any eye on Buck and if he does anything reckless he will inform her.

 

Maddie is glad that she has Howie as she would be lost without him.

 

Buck got back to his apartment and when he opened the door he felt off but he closed the door and he went and took a shower.

 

After the shower Buck comes out of the bathroom and he is already in his sweatpants and a t-shirt.

 

Buck goes downstairs and he makes himself a drink and his phone goes off.

 

Buck takes a look and it's a text from Maddie and he ignores it.

 

The next text is from Chimney and again he ignores it.

 

Buck thinks about going to Eddie but he doesn't as he needs to let Eddie have time alone with his new girlfriend.

 

Buck's phone goes off and he sees a text from Maddie and he looks at it and sees that she is saying sorry and she was just a child herself and Buck ignores it.

 

After Maddie’s text is another one from Chimney and he says that Maddie doesn't need the stress so phone her or text her immediately.

 

For the next few minutes Buck gets the same texts and phone calls from both Maddie and Chimney and in the end up something snaps inside Buck and he goes and grabs his baseball bat and he starts to swing it at any pictures that are of him and Maddie, him and Chimney or anything that the two are also in.

 

He takes a look at what he has done and then he starts to break anything and everything and it feels good to let the anger out.

 

After he finally finishes Buck takes a look at the destruction he has caused and he falls to the ground.

 

Buck hears his phone going off and he ignores it and it feels nice to just be completely alone as let's face it “I've always been alone” Buck thinks to himself.

 

Buck starts to fall asleep as the adrenaline leaves his body.

 

2 days later.

 

Buck had not been out of his apartment for 2 whole days and the place still looked a mess but Buck liked it as it showed that his life was not only a mess but a complete joke.

 

In the 2 days Buck had turned his phone off and locked his door and just sat on his couch.

 

118 firehouse.

 

Hen and Eddie walk into the firehouse and they are talking about the weekend and how both their kids are looking forward to them going to the new swimming center that's opening up on Saturday.

 

“So Denny only got me and Karen to buy him new swimming trunks.” Hen says.

 

“Chris got me to do the exact same. Hey cap, did Harry get you or Athena to buy him some new swimming trunks?.” Eddie asks as he sees Bobby coming out of his office.

 

“He did and he wouldn't let Athena go with him as he told her that he needed a guy to help him and Athena laughed as he acted very seriously about it.” Bobby says.

 

“Oh, was he hoping to get some that would impress anyone?.” Hen asks.

 

“All I know is that this was a guys day out kinda thing.” Bobby says.

 

“Oh yeah he is definitely hoping to impress someone.” Hen says.

 

“God I dread to think what Chris is going to be like.” Eddie says and he shivers at the thought of his little boy growing up and dating.

 

Bobby and Hen laugh at the look Eddie just got and then Bobby gets a sad look and he walks away to the stairs.

 

“His kids would be in their teens.” Hen says.

 

Eddie can only imagine what Bobby feels as he would be the same if his son died.

 

Hen and Eddie go and get changed and they come up the stairs 15 minutes later and Bobby is plating up the food.

 

Chimney comes up and he looks frustrated but he just ignores the others.

 

“Wonder where Buck is?.” Hen asks.

 

“I know he is starting a bit late today as he is owed some hour's.” Eddie says.

 

The bell went off just then and the team ran to the trucks.

 

Maddie hadn't heard from Buck and she was getting fed up with it so she decided to go to the firehouse.

 

The team got back from the call and they all got out of their gear and Bobby went and got started on some paperwork.

 

Eddie goes to see if Buck has turned up yet while Hen speaks with Chimney.

 

Eddie checks the locker room and shows no sign of Buck so he goes to the loft.

 

Eddie walks up and Buck's not there and Eddie thinks that is strange.

 

Hen and Chimney come walking up and Chimney looks more relaxed.

 

Maddie comes walking into the firehouse and she goes up to the loft and she sees Eddie,Hen and Chimney.

 

“Hey guys.” Maddie says.

 

“Maddie, what are you doing here?.” Chimney asks.

 

“I need to speak to you.” Maddie says.

 

Before Chimney can ask what it's about Bobby comes walking past them.

 

“Buck not here yet?.” Bobby asks.

 

“He isn't in the locker room.” Eddie says.

 

“‘Maybe I've got the time wrong for when he starts.” Bobby says.

 

Hen sees the look that both Maddie and Chimney shear and she wonders what that is all about.

 

Bobby gets this weird feeling and for some reason he is scared.

 

Bobby tries to busy himself but he can't help but continue to worry.

 

Eddie decides to phone Buck and he takes his phone out and unlocks it and presses Buck's number and puts the phone to his ear.

 

The call goes straight to voicemail and Eddie knows something is wrong.

 

“You've reached Buck sorry I can't take your call but leave your name and number and I'll get back to you” Buck's voicemail says.

 

Eddie just hangs up and he tries to think what the reason could be for Buck's phone to go straight to voicemail.

 

The bells go off again and everyone runs to the trucks again and Maddie says she will stay here.

 

In the truck Bobby is worrying but he puts on his captain's face and acts professional.

 

They get to the scene and It's 2 cars that have crashed into each other.

 

Bobby sees that Athena is pulling up and she gets out of her cruiser and walks over to them.

 

“Do you know what happened yet?.” Athena asks.

 

“Not at the moment.” Bobby says.

 

Athena nods and she looks at Bobby's crew and she doesn't see a certain person.

 

“Buck is starting late today as he is owed some hours back.” Bobby says.

 

“I'm surprised he agreed to it.” Athena says.

 

“He is learning to balance his work and social life so I'm not complaining.” Bobby says.

 

Athena can tell that Bobby is worrying about something as his voice is different and now she is starting to get a bad feeling.

 

Bobby turns around and he watches Eddie get the jaws of life and he goes to the car and he manages to get the victim out and Chimney checks them over.

 

The second victim seems to be stuck and is unable to move so Bobby helps Eddie and they see that the wheel is putting pressure on the victim's leg.

 

Bobby and Eddie talk about what to do and they both agree that the longer the victim is trapped the more danger they are in.

 

Bobby decides that Eddie will be the one to extract the victim while he cuts the wheel but they won't have long as that will cause a spark and with the gas that's already on the ground they will only have a few seconds.

 

Hen is on stand by and she watches as Bobby manages to get the doors off and he starts to cut into the wheel.

 

The victim is getting scared but Eddie reassures them that they are safe and nothing is going to go wrong.

 

Bobby gets the wheel off and Eddie quickly gets the victim out and just then the car explodes.

 

Hen rushes over and she takes a look at the victim and she is ok apart from her leg that looks to be broken but that's it.

 

Two ambulances pull up and they each take a victim and Athena gets some officers to go to the hospital and take the statements.

 

Bobby tells his crew to pack up and they all head to the truck.

 

The 118 leave the scene and they get back to the firehouse and once they get out of the truck and out of their turn out gear they head upstairs to the loft.

 

Maddie is still in the loft and she greets everyone with some coffee and she asks how the call was and they all say that no one died.

 

Bobby sees that Buck isn't here so he goes to the loft and there is no sign of him and Bobby asks the firefighter who the man behind if he has seen Buck coming in and the guy says no one has come in.

 

Bobby goes up to the loft and he goes and talks to Eddie.

 

“Eddie, have you heard from Buck lately?.” Bobby asks.

 

“Not since 2 days ago when he told me about the whole dinner fiasco.” Eddie says.

 

“Hen have you heard from Buck?.” Bobby asks.

 

“No I haven't. Chimney didn't you speak to him the last time we were on shift?.” Hen asks.

 

“Yeah but not for long.” Chimney says.

 

Maddie and Chimney look at each other and they hope that no one asks anymore questions.

 

Athena comes up the stairs and it looks like she is having a rough shift.

 

“Hey guys I just spoke to some officers and it turns out the second driver was to blame for the car crash as they were trying to get to their doctor and didn't realise they ran a red light. Ok why do you all look worried?.” Athena asks as she looks at everyone and sees that their faces show how worried they are.

 

“Buck hasn't turned up and no one has heard from him and when I phoned earlier his phone went to voicemail.” Eddie says.

 

“Wait, you didn't tell me that.” Bobby says.

 

“I thought it wasn't a big deal as Buck is probably charging it or it died of battery.” Eddie says.

 

“That's plausible and it's happened to us.” Hen says.

 

Chimney shoots Maddie a look and he is starting to worry that something has happened and it's their fault.

 

“Maddie, did Buck come to yours at all?.” Eddie asks.

 

Maddie looks at them and she hopes that her face matches what her voice says.

 

“No, I haven't heard from him.” Maddie says.

 

Athena has been looking at Maddie and Chimney and they keep looking at one another and their faces clearly show that they know something and are choosing to lie.

 

Hen looks at her best friend and Maddie and she can tell they are hiding something.

 

“Try that again and don't lie this time.” Athena says.

 

“I'm not lying and I'm offended that you're accusing me.” Maddie says.

 

“Maddie I'm not accusing you I'm stating a fact so once again tell me the truth.” Athena says.

 

“Before Buck I had another brother called Daniel who died when he was 8 due to juvenile leukemia and unfortunately me or my parents weren't a match so the doctors suggested another way and Buck was conceived but the bone marrow didn't graft properly and he died shortly afterwards.” Maddie says.

 

“Buck never said anything and it's not on his file.” Bobby says.

 

“Buck never knew as my parents refused to talk about him and they took all the pictures down and we moved to Hershey.” Maddie says.

 

“You must have been a kid yourself when it happened.” Hen says.

 

“I was told by my parents to never speak about him.” Maddie says.

 

“It was hard for Maddie as she basically had to raise Buck and her parents may have been there but they weren't there at the same time.” Chimney says and he pulls Maddie closer to him.

 

“Wait when did you find out?.” Eddie asks.

 

“Before my parents came I told Howie as he needed to know why my parents were like they were.” Maddie says.

 

“How did Buck find out? As I'm guessing he came over to yours to apologise.” Eddie says.

 

“Buck found a photo of Daniel in my baby box and he thought it was of him but when he looked at it and saw the date at the back he asked and I told him.” Maddie says.

 

“Wow you bitch.” Hen says.

 

“Hen.” Chimney says and he is shocked that his best friend would call his girlfriend that.

 

“I'm sorry but not only did you tell your boyfriend first you also asked him to keep it to himself and we all know he can't keep a secret so he has already told someone about it and you let Buck find out the way he did as you must of known that your parents would put something of your brother in your baby box so you could have gone through it before Buck suggested you to go through it with him.

 

You may have been a child and I'm sorry you had to go through that but you stopped being a child years ago and you could have told Buck the truth since you had no problem telling the man you're having a child with.” Hen says.

 

“I tried years ago to tell him but I just didn't know how.” Maddie says.

 

“Bullshit and you know it. You are not a little girl anymore Maddie, you are a grown adult and you should have kept trying to tell him as he had the right to know.” Eddie says.

 

“Maddie had been through a lot.” Chimney says.

 

“So that gives her the right to keep the one thing that Buck needed to know from him.” Hen says.

 

“You know this explains everything and why every time Buck ended up in hospital you would worry more than usual or get Chimney to give you updates on if Buck hurt himself at work. Were you ever going to tell Buck the truth?.” Eddie asks.

 

Maddie doesn't say anything and that's all the answer the group needs.

 

“If anything has happened to my son I'll make sure you face the consequences.” Bobby says.

 

Bobby runs out of the firehouse and Hen and Eddie are behind him and they all get into the captain’s car and drive to Buck's apartment.

 

“Don't worry they will calm down.” Chimney says.

 

“Don't bet on it. I can’t imagine losing one of my kids but I can't imagine blaming the other one if one of them dies and the fact you told Chimney before the person who should have been told I can't forgive that so don't expect an invitation to my house any time soon and I would stay away from my son at the moment.” Athena says and she walks away and gets in her cruiser and puts the sirens on and drives to her son's apartment.

Chapter Text

The team pulls up at Buck's apartment and they rush inside the building and take their stairs.

 

Once they are at the door Eddie pulls out his key and he unlocked the door and they all entered.

 

The scene in front of them shocked them and they saw the damage that Buck had done.

 

“Wow, I've never seen Buck's apartment like this before.” Hen says.

 

Before Hen gets a response Athena walks in and her face has the same expression as theirs.

 

“You know it's common decency to get invited in rather than walk in.” Buck says as he comes into view.

 

Buck looks like hell and it's clear he hasn't slept that well but his voice is different.

 

“Buck we just found out and we were worried about you.” Hen says.

 

“So that gives you the right to just walk into my apartment.” Buck says and he walks past them.

 

Everyone looks at each other and they are completely worried as this is not like Buck at all.

 

Eddie looks around the room and he sees that there are pictures of Maddie and Chimney that have been destroyed and pictures of Buck and Chimney as well as pictures of Buck and Maddie.

 

Bobby and the rest take in the scene and they also see the pictures that Eddie has seen.

 

Hen goes to pick something up but Buck comes back and his face is hard.

 

“Leave it.” Buck says.

 

“Buck you could hurt yourself.” Hen says.

 

“Like I care.” Buck says.

 

“Sweetheart we know you're angry and you have every right to be.” Athena says.

 

Buck laughs and that makes the team worry some more as it's a hollow laugh.

 

“Thank you for telling me that I'm allowed to be angry. I'm so glad that I'm allowed to have those feelings.” Buck says.

 

Athena looks at Bobby and she can tell he is terrified of this Buck as it's not their son.

 

“Son, what you have learnt is the worst thing you could have found out and the fact that you didn't get told is even more horrible but you need to clean the place up as you could hurt yourself.” Bobby says.

 

“I like it like this and it suits the place.” Buck says.

 

Eddie looks at his best friend and he doesn't know what to say to him as it's clear that Buck is pushing them away.

 

“Buck, how can we help you?.” Hen asks.

 

“Leave me alone, that's how you can help me. Leave your keys.” Buck says.

 

“Sweetheart, we are not leaving you alone.” Athena says.

 

“Son you can't be by yourself as we are worried about you.” Bobby says.

 

“I'm fine so leave me alone and I'm not your son ok I'm your work colleague so get out of my place.” Buck says.

 

The look on Bobby's face breaks everyone's heart but Bobby knows that Buck is lashing out that's all.

 

“Buck please don't make me 5150 you.” Athena says.

 

Buck looks at Athena and he just has anger in his eyes.

 

“You can't do that as that's an abuse of power Sergeant Grant and if you did then I would tell them it's only because you have refused to leave me alone.” Buck says.

 

“Buck, we are just trying to help you.’ Hen says.

 

“I've told you that I want you all to leave me alone as I'm allowed to be angry and to deal with what I've just found out so do as I ask and actually listen to me for once in your god damn life.” Buck says.

 

Bobby steps forward and he goes over to Buck and pulls him into a hug and Buck tries to pull away but Bobby holds him close.

 

Buck tries to fight Bobby off but the more he tries the harder Bobby holds him until Buck completely breaks down.

 

“I've got you son, I've got you.” Bobby says.

 

Athena goes over and she wraps her arms around her husband and her son.

 

Eddie and Hen are fighting back tears as it's not about them at this moment.

 

“Maddie and Han better run once I'm through with them.” Eddie says.

 

Hen looks at Eddie and she sees the anger in his eyes and hears it in his voice.

 

“Let's get this place cleaned up.” Hen says.

 

Eddie looks at her and he then looks at Buck and he knows that this is a moment between his true parents so he follows Hen to the kitchen and they start there.

 

The kitchen is just as bad as the rest of the place and as Hen and Eddie are clearing away some stuff that's when Eddie comes across a picture and the frame has been damaged and it clearly has Han and Maddie in it.

 

Hen finds a few pictures that are broken and they are pictures of them all and she gets why Buck destroyed them as it wasn't just her or Eddie in the picture but Han as well.

 

“How many pictures do you think have been destroyed?.” Eddie asks Hen.

 

“Every single one as it's clear Buck didn't stop and who can blame him.” Hen says.

 

Athena comes into the kitchen and she goes and opens the cupboards and she takes a glass out and goes and fills it with water and then goes back to where Bobby and Buck are.

 

Bobby takes the water and gives it to Buck who thanks both him and Athena.

 

Buck looks at Bobby and he now feels guilty for what he said but Bobby isn't angry or upset he knows that Buck was only lashing out and he knows that Buck was just trying to push them away.

 

Athena leads Buck to the sofa and Bobby decides to call chief Simpson.

 

Bobby excuses himself and he leaves the apartment and he pulls out his phone and dials the chief's number.

 

Chief Simpson picks up and he asks who is calling him and when Bobby informs him that it's him the chief asks what the calls is about and Bobby says he needs to take his team offline as something has happened to Buck and Bobby just says it's something to do with his mental health but once Buck is ok then it's up to him to tell the chief.

 

Chief Simpson says it's fine and he doesn't need to know the full details as it's not his business and Bobby thanks the man and chief Simpson says he hopes that Buck will be ok and for him to not worry about his job as he still has it and to concentrate on getting better and he hangs up.

 

Bobby comes back into the apartment and he honestly doesn't know what to say but one thing is certain and that is whatever Buck says or how far he tries to push him away,Bobby is going to show that he is not going anywhere.

 

Eddie manages to clear half the kitchen and comes across a picture of Buck and Chris and Eddie knows Buck never meant to destroy it but it's clear the anger took over him.

 

Hen finds a picture of Buck and Denny and it's a picture of them both at a comic con event as both her son and brother are dressed up as Captain America and Iron-man and she wipes away the broken glass pieces.

 

“He is going to hate himself for destroying these pictures.” Eddie says.

 

“It's not his fault and he is not to blame and they are just frames that can be replaced.” Hen says.

 

“Mother Hen incoming.” Eddie says and he laughs.

 

Hen laughs at what Eddie says and yes she is a mother Hen and she will continue to be one.

 

Bobby comes into the kitchen and he sees both Hen and Eddie.

 

“I've taken us offline so you guys can just go home and I'll stay here.” Bobby says.

 

“We are not leaving.” Hen says.

 

“Hen I know that you and Karen have been having issues in your marriage and you promised to be present more at home and I don't want to cause issues.” Bobby says.

 

Hen looks at her captain as well as her friend and yes it's true what he says but this is family and Buck has been there for her so many times.

 

Hen pulls out her phone and dials Karen's number.

 

“Hey sweetheart you on your way home?.” Karen asks on the other end.

 

“Hey honey I'm not going to be home on time tonight.” Hen says.

 

“Hen you promised to be home more. So what's the excuse?.” Karen asks.

 

“Something has happened to Buck and he is in a bad way.” Hen says.

 

“Is he in hospital? How bad is he hurt? Do you need me to come?.” Karen asks.

 

“He is fine physically but he has found out something and this time it's bad and Maddie has shown what kind of person she truly is and so has Han.” Hen says.

 

“Oh god. Ok you stay with him and I'll tell Denny that uncle Buck needed your help but whatever it is you tell him that he has me and you and we aren't going anywhere.” Karen says.

 

“I'm sorry I'm going back on my promise.” Hen says.

 

“Hen I understand and Buck needs you.” Karen says.

 

“I love you.” Hen says.

 

“I love you too.” Karen says and she hangs up.

 

Eddie excuses himself and he goes outside and he phones his Abuela.

 

“Eddie, why are you phoning?.” Abuela asks.

 

“I need you to look after Chris a little longer as something has happened to Buck and I need to stay with him.” Eddie says.

 

“Is he ok?.” Abuela asks.

 

“Physically yes but mentally no Abuela he is not and I don't know if he will ever be the same again.” Eddie says.

 

“How bad is it?.” Abuela says.

 

“It's bad and Maddie is to blame.” Eddie says.

 

“That bitch has hurt my sweet Evan.” Abuela says.

 

“It's not just her, it's his so-called parents and Han.” Eddie says.

 

Eddie hears Abuela mutter something in Spanish and he knows that she is angry.

 

“I will look after my bisnieto and you take care of your man and let him know that he is loved by us Diaz family and we never hurt our family but lift them up. Now go to your man and give him the love he needs.” Abuela says and she hangs up.

 

Eddie walks back into the apartment and he sees that the kitchen is cleaned up.

 

Athena comes in and she looks angry and sad at the same time but they know that their feelings need to be put on hold as Buck is the one they need to concentrate on.

 

Athena pulls out her phone and texts her captain and tells her one of her kids has been hurt and she needs to take the rest of the shift off.

 

Athena's phone goes off and her captain says she hopes they are ok and just to bring the cruiser back and then she has a few days off.

 

“I need to take the cruiser back and then I'll return.” Athena says.

 

Buck walks past them and he goes upstairs and everyone looks at him.

 

Bobby is worried as this is not his son and he thinks maybe they should have him 5150 but it's an abuse of their power.

 

Buck comes back downstairs and he has a box and he puts it in the middle of the room and he takes the baseball bat and he starts to hit the box and he doesn't care if he is shocking the people in his apartment as he is tired of people treating him like he is a baby when he is a grown adult.

 

Eddie,Hen,Bobby and Athena watch the scene unfold in front of them and they wish they could take Buck's pain away.