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Howdy! Welcome to the Joe Hills podcast! by Crystallized_arctic_flowers
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
15 Sep 2025
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Joe Hills has a podcast..
HADM Day 24: Joe HillsSeries
- Part 22 of Hermit-A-Day-May 2025
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An SMP can mean many things to a player.
It can mean a good time. A place to retreat when private servers and test worlds just don't live up to expectations. It can mean war, murder, and griefing. It can mean friends, games, and challenges. The list goes on and on.
But one SMP means... a bit more to its residents.
It means family.
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Each Hermits journey to finding Hermitcraft and how they built a family out of a very strange assortment of blocks.
Now featuring plot!
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Five times Steve meets the Hermits by Crystallized_arctic_flowers
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Hermitcraft SMP
15 Jul 2025
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Five times Steve meets the Hermits and one time they meet TFC
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inside a timeless cage (i never wanted to sleep) by olivr_the_gr8
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
08 May 2025
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Glitches aren’t supposed to feel, but he does now, and he’s not sure if it’s a gift or a curse. Becoming Joe Hills meant learning hunger, pain, and the strange, heavy beauty of being alive. He has to learn to deal with the weight of a body and the sting of blood that anchors him to a world he barely understands.
OR, Pain made him real, but it was Cleo who showed him that being seen was enough.
Series
- Part 1 of the difference
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Anthology by Pxrple_Rose
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series, Minecraft (Video Game)
20 Apr 2025
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Case #9951904
Statement of Johan Smithers, regarding an odd book that made its way into his collection. Original Statement given April 19th, 1995. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.Series
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Goldenrod Secrets by BuckeyeKitty
Fandoms: Empires SMP, Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series
18 Apr 2025
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After his code took his Empires 2 lore a little two seriously Joel has to attend the monthly meeting of the Deities.
He finds some familiar faces but also leaves with many more questions.
Series
- Part 5 of Children of Life and Death
- Part 44 of Empires Fanfics
- Part 52 of Hermitcraft Fanfics
- Part 58 of Life Series Fanfics
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The past and present of Geminitay by Crystallized_arctic_flowers
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
18 Apr 2025
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The start of the worldwalker Geminitay and how she got into Hermitcraft
Series
- Part 2 of How did they become Hermits?
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Eyes, Trains, and Other Liminal Spaces by Clovergem_in_the_snowwoods
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Empires SMP, Pirates SMP, New Life SMP, Outsiders SMP, Kaboodle SMP, for real this time! - Fandom, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series
17 Apr 2025
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Pearl, fresh out of the end of the world, must save both herself and her friends- and, oh yeah, battle a couple of angry gods.
Magic’s been hiding for a year, but when everything changes, so does she. The Watchers have plans for her, no matter what she wants.
Niki’s always been one for changing the world, whether it’s by a bakery or a burning tree. The Watchers come to her with a proposition- but none of the sides are playing fair.
Shelby just wanted to check up on Gem, but manages to get cursed (again), get dragged to Death’s doorstep, and really, maybe should have let the others handle it? Oh well.OR
The third edition of Calling out the Rising Dark! Please read the other fics before you read this one, or it won’t make sense!
Series
- Part 3 of Calling Out The Rising Dark AU
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pass it along, pass it along (i'm just a messenger) by olivr_the_gr8
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
25 Mar 2025
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Nobody invited him. Nobody added him to the whitelist. And yet, one day, Joe Hills was simply there. By all logic, he shouldn’t have been. But when he was found strolling through spawn, smiling like he belonged, none of them thought to question it. The thought of kicking him out felt distant.
OR, the story of how Joe joined Hermitcraft.
Series
- Part 2 of the difference
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This is a bunch of one shots of all the Aus stuck in my head that are not apart of my main story but I need somewhere to put them.
Most of these stories will probably be about Gem. -
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Gem is captured by hybrid hunters while on the hunt for Pearl's brother, Grian. In her new 'home' at Stalgit manner, Gem meets more hybrids than shes ever seen, and tries desperately to not become as defeated as they all seem to be. Turns out, shes not very good at that.
Pearl's brother was captured by hybrid hunters when she was 8, her mother only barely able to fly her to safety before she, like her father, succumbed to her injuries, leaving Pearl alone. Now she was alone again, her girlfriend, Gem, being captured too.
goddamn she hates humans.
or;
I had an idea for a hybrid slavery AU one night and have not stopped thinking about it since- so here it is!
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Xaron, more well known as Evil Xisuma, meets up with Harper at Joe's bar in Hels.
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Each Hermit has someone who balances them. I don't mean the Helsmits either.
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The List of All Unknowns is Tall by Clovergem_in_the_snowwoods
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Pirates SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Outsiders SMP, Empires SMP
15 Apr 2024
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Sequel to Dangling from Nothing (read that, or it won’t make sense!)
Squiddo, Cleo, and Eret visit MCC, only to find that its organizer has… a rather full plate. Empires is doomed (again). Owen is a…llama? (again)
Series
- Part 2 of Dangling From Nothing AU
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Deeper Into The Night by Clovergem_in_the_snowwoods
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Dream SMP, Outsiders SMP, Empires SMP
18 Feb 2024
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Owen, on the run from the monsters who trapped him for a year, is trapped yet again.
Martyn, who’s done this for far too many times, stands on the verge of change.
Gem’s been through a lot, but Life has another wrench to throw- specifically, that it’s Limited.
Aimsey just wanted to help out a friend.OR:
The cast of Limited Life is forced through the loop again, with a few notable exceptions. Fundy is- coping. Scar and Grian are nowhere to be found. Cleo, Joe, and Pix fulfil their dreams of being detectives.
(Sequel to Staring Fires (and Rising in the Ashes). Read that first if you want context!)
Series
- Part 2 of Calling Out The Rising Dark AU
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Dangling From Nothing by Clovergem_in_the_snowwoods
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game)
26 Dec 2023
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Joe’s… gone. Cleo’s, obviously, not going to let it stay that way. So a trip to the Farlands with a mysterious book it is!
Series
- Part 5 of Clover’s Favorites!
- Part 1 of Dangling From Nothing AU
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Vrykolakas (n.) - a harmful, undead creature in Greek folklore.
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An unruly crewmate kidnaps someone. Cleo is met with an interesting proposition.
Series
- Part 12 of Funky lil block people and their trauma
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Rediscovery by NineLeafClover
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Hermitcraft SMP, Dream SMP
22 Nov 2023
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"The Universal Conglomeration of Cleos - don't acronym that - regrets to inform you that you're going to lose your son if you aren't ready to curb stomp a green bitch."
Series
- Part 2 of Hermits United Against Childhood Trauma
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Joe Hills Here! Recording from Your Basement! by Caubool for marblerogue
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
30 Aug 2022
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There are two things Joe Hills is equipped to do when he's suddenly thrown into all this hero/villain mumbo jumbo (no relation to vigilante Mumbo Jumbo):
1) Go along with it, stay quiet, and wait for a rescue.
2) Take matters into his own hands and make some new friends.
He almost always goes for option two.
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Grian's family by Of_death_and_war
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Origins SMP, Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)
25 Apr 2022
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My take on the MC hybrid au