Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Maddie: come over for dinner?

Buck looks at the message on his phone and puts the pan he was going to use to make his own dinner back down. 

Buck: sure. on my way 

As soon as he walks into Maddie’s house, he immediately feels like he’s in a trap. The table is set with nice dinnerware, and several candles lit. There’s even placemats out. Maddie is going extra fancy tonight, which can only mean one thing – she has bad news. 

He doesn’t have long to think about it before he sees a blur of motion and has to get in position. He crouches down with his arms open wide, and seconds later nearly gets barreled over aas Jee crashes into him.

He wraps his arms around her tightly as he stands and spins her around, causing her to squeal and giggle. 

“Uncle Buck! Mommy made such a big dinner and it’s all your favorite things!” Jee exclaims. 

Buck chuckles. “Is that so? Did I forget something? Is today my birthday?” he says as he sets his niece back down on the floor. 

She looks up at him with big round eyes and a brilliant grin. “Nope! She just said all the food would make you feel better.”

Buck’s head tilts in confusion, and his mouth opens to ask her another question when Maddie calls for her to go wash up for dinner. 

Buck follows Jee into the kitchen and hoists her up to the sink so he can wash their hands together. 

“Uncle Buck,” she whines, “I’m a big girl, I can do it by myself.”

“I know you can, but I still need your help,” Buck replies, running their sudsy hands under the stream. Jee laughs at that. 

“Okay, fine, I’ll help you Uncle Buck.” She reaches out and grabs a towel, drying their hands off together. He sets her down and she runs off to find Chimney, yelling something about needing to help wash his hands, too. 

Maddie bustles around the kitchen, finishing up plating everything. Buck jumps in to help and she shoos him away, telling him to go sit at the table and wait. 

He does, but he’s nervous now, twisting a napkin in between his fingers just for something to do with his hands. 

Jee comes back with Chim – turns out he did need help washing up – and they all settle around the table. 

Buck’s anxiety is skyrocketing, but he keeps his cool through dinner, making small talk about work with Maddie and Chim, recounting various weird calls they’ve been on recently, Maddie asking questions about victim’s she connected with. 

They’re almost done with dessert when the shoe finally drops. 

Maddie clears her throat, exchanging a quick look with Chimney that has Buck putting his fork down. “So, Mom called me yesterday,” she says, voice suspiciously casual. 

Buck’s chest tightens at the word. “When do they get here?” he asks. 

Maddie smiles at him. “They’re not visiting, Evan.” Buck releases a breath of relief. 

“Oh. What did they want, then?” 

“Alex is getting married three Saturdays from now. We, uh, we’re all going,” she says, fake brightness causing her smile to stretch unnaturally across her face. 

“Wait, what? We have to go to the wedding? In Hershey? Why ?” 

“We grew up together, they thought we would want to go. Mom and Dad are still friends with Beth and Eric, and they already told them that we would all be there,” Maddie explains, gathering up their plates and walking them to the kitchen. Buck immediately gets up to follow her. 

“Maddie, do I have to?” Buck whines, tossing his napkin onto the table. 

“There’s more,” Maddie says, busying herself with washing dishes, bottom lip worried between her teeth. 

Buck sinks onto a stool at the island and puts his head in his hands. “More? How could there possibly be more ?” 

“Well, they want us there for the whole week. So we can visit.”

Buck’s head whips up, and he finds Maddie eyeing him with a cautious look, like he’s a wild animal poised to attack at any moment. Which…well, that’s not far off from how he feels. Like a cornered, wild animal with no way out. 

“A whole week?” Buck rasps. 

Maddie just nods slowly. “And they RSVP’d you for a plus one,” she says, cringing. 

Buck pushes back from the table, moving to pace around the kitchen. “What? They want me to bring a date ? For a week? ”

“They thought it could be romantic. I told them it was a bad idea, that you weren’t seeing anyone, but they didn’t listen. Evan, I’m sorry, I know this is the last thing you want to do. But it’ll be fine, really. Mom and Dad will be so busy competing with their friends that you can spend all your time with Chim, Jee and I,” Maddie says, eyebrows scrunched in sympathy. 

“Why do they always do this? Why do they think I need to be dating someone to be happy? Why can’t they just ever be excited to see me ?” Buck says, voice growing quiet and body stilling, leaving him standing in the middle of the kitchen. 

Maddie rounds the counter, coming over and cupping his cheek softly. “I don’t know, Evan. I think they just want to make sure someone is looking after you. They don't understand, but I do. I am always happy to see you,” she says. 

Buck nods and sighs, and Maddie takes a small step back, holding her pinky out in front of her. 

“United front?” she asks. 

Buck chuckles, latching his pinky onto hers, sealing the promise. “United front,” he agrees. 

~

Buck walks into work a few days later with a personal storm cloud following him, hovering right above his head. His fuse is short today, temper barely kept at bay. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to get through this shift. He’s on edge, snippy, just pissed in general. And everyone can tell as soon as he ascends the last step into the loft, crossing quickly to the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. 

Hen and Chim are at the counter, and they turn to look at him with smiles on their faces, mouths opening with a good morning on their tongues, but snapping shut at the look on his face. Instead, they exchange a look and quietly slip away, going to lean over the back of the couch and talk softly to Eddie, both pointing fingers at Buck. 

Eddie stands up and makes his way over to Buck slowly, and Buck doesn’t even look up at him, choosing to focus on pouring his coffee. 

“Morning, Buck,” Eddie says softly, coming over and getting down his own mug from the cabinet. Buck just hums in response, replacing the coffee pot and turning to the cream and sugar. 

Eddie stands next to him and fills up his cup, eyes darting to Buck every five seconds. Buck is carefully pouring in cream and sugar, stirring slowly. 

Eddie sighs. “Okay. what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Buck says, shrugging. 

“Buck,” Eddie says. He waits until Buck looks up at him before continuing. “C’mon, man, talk to me.” 

Buck turns around, leaning back against the counter so he can look at Eddie. 

“I have to go to a wedding,” he says, voice tight. Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. That’s it?

“You love weddings.” 

“Not this one. It’s in Pennsylvania. With my mom and dad. For a whole week,” he says, frustration evident in his tone. 

Well that makes a lot more sense. Buck at home for a whole week? Brutal. 

“Maddie, Chim and Jee are going, right?” Eddie asks. 

Buck nods jerkily. “Mmhm. They are. I-It’s just that my parents are expecting me to bring someone and when I don’t, because who the fuck would I ask to suffer for a week for me , they’re going to make comments about how I am going to be alone forever and it-it’s just already on my nerves and I still have nearly three weeks before I even have to go,” he rushes out, abandoning his coffee on the table as he paces back and forth in the kitchen. 

“I’ll come with you,” Eddie offers. He blinks – he hadn’t exactly thought that one through, but he doesn’t regret it, doesn’t want to take it back. Buck freezes where he’s at, body still as a statue as his head whips to look at Eddie. 

“What?” 

Eddie places his mug next to Buck’s and walks over, standing in front of him so Buck can see how genuine his offer is – even though he hadn’t necessarily meant to offer in the first place, now that he’s said it, he wouldn’t take it back. He would move to Pennsylvania with Buck if he asked. “I’ll come with you,” he repeats. 

“Why would you want to do that?” 

“You’re my best friend, Buck. I know how much being around your parents bothers you. I mean, you’d probably be calling me all the time about it anyways. If it would help for me to come with you, I’m there,” Eddie shrugs. 

Buck’s breath catches in his throat, and tears sting at the back of his eyes. “You would do that for me? What about Chris?” 

“‘Course, man, I’d do anything for you. Chris can stay with Pepa, and he has that science camp that week anyways. Besides, free vacation? Count me in,” he says with a wink. Buck just shakes his head, a watery smile spreading across his lips. 

“Spend a week with my parents and then call it a vacation, I dare you,” he jokes. 

“Oh, I will. Besides, told you I’d have your back, right? I meant it.”

“Yeah, but this , Eddie, I-I can’t ask you to–”

Eddie’s hand lands on Buck’s shoulder. “Buck. Let me do this for you,” He says, ducking his head and searching for Buck’s eyes. Eddie can see the hesitance written across his face. “Please?” 

Buck sighs, relief whooshing out of him at Eddie’s insistence to come with him. “Okay,” he says, genuine smile splitting his cheeks. “Thanks, Eddie.” 

Suddenly, the storm cloud dissipates, and the rest of the shift goes smoothly, Buck actually in a good mood since hearing of his upcoming trip. Eddie’s going to be there – how bad could it be? 

~

Eddie: how’s it going? 

Buck: bad 

Eddie: i meant packing 

Buck: also bad 

His phone rings, and Eddie’s contact picture – a selfie of him, Eddie, and Chris at their favorite museum exhibit – flashes on the screen. Fuck. 

Buck flops back on his bed where he was sorting through clothes and answers the phone. 

“Hey, Eddie, what’s up?” 

“Buck, we’re leaving in like two hours, please tell me you picked an outfit,” Eddie says, kind of out of breath. Buck wonders briefly why and images of Eddie, sweaty, smiling and hovering over him flash across his eyelids. He nearly chokes on air at that, and violently pushes those thoughts out of his mind. 

“I can’t, Eddie, I don’t know what to pick,” Buck whines. 

He hears the front door open, and jolts upright. 

“Yeha, I figured. That’s why I’m here,” he hears, voice coming from downstairs and through the phone. He peers over the railing and sees Eddie walking in his front door, followed by a large suitcase. So that’s why he was out of breath – lugging that massive luggage down the hall. 

Buck hangs up the phone, bracing his palms on the banister as he looks down at Eddie. 

“You didn’t have to come over. I can pack on my own,” he says, sounding like a child as he does, but not being able to help it. 

“I know you can, but I also know you’ve been up there for hours trying to pick the right outfit to impress your parents and I already packed so… I’m here to help. Is that okay?” He asks, but he is already climbing the stairs, knowing that Buck would accept his help. 

Buck groans, tilting his head up to the ceiling. “I just can’t decide, Eddie. I know it doesn’t matter. They aren’t going to like anything I wear, but I-I want to at least try .”

Eddie walks over to the bed, looking at the options Buck has laid out. He holds up a pair of grey dress pants, moving the brown and black pairs off to the side to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Definitely these pants,” he says, holding them out to Buck. “Put them on, I have to see them with the shirts to decide.” 

Buck should probably go to the bathroom to swap pants, but Eddie has seen him change plenty of times. He reaches down, hooking his fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants and yanking them down, stepping out of them. 

He reaches to grab the pants from Eddie’s grip, expecting to see him looking at the floor or studying the shirt options, but instead finds Eddie’s eyes trained right on his crotch. 

It takes all his willpower not to get hard right then and fucking there. He knows he’s big, even soft, and that his bulge is pretty noticeable even in boxers. But Eddie gets dressed next to him nearly every day, it’s not like he’s never seen it before. Except he’s looking at him like he hasn’t and it’s making Buck’s cheeks flush pink. 

He steps into the pants, and Eddie clears his throat and looks away, physically shaking his head a little as if to clear it. Buck tries on all the shirts – twice at Eddie’s insistence – and Eddie picks his top two favorites. He knows Buck is going to need options in the moment, even though Eddie knows he’s going to pick the light blue button-up, he lets Buck pack the other shirt anyway. 

Eddie helps fold and pack the rest of Buck’s clothes, and then they carry their bags to the car to head to the airport. Chim, Maddie, and Jee are going to be meeting them at the airport in Pennsylvania – they weren’t able to get seats on the same flight, but they were all going to drive to the Buckley house together. 

They’re waiting at the gate, ungodly early – Buck’s fault, he needed to get to the airport four hours early only to arrive and see that for the first time maybe ever, LAX had no line at security – and the anxiety is finally getting to Buck. 

He’s slouched back in a chair in the waiting area, fingers fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie, leg bouncing obnoxiously as he taps his foot. It goes on for twenty minutes before Eddie can’t take it anymore. He reaches out his hand and places it on Buck’s thigh, squeezing lightly. His leg immediately stops bouncing, and he turns to Eddie with a sheepish look on his face. 

“Sorry,” he says quietly. 

“It’s going to be okay, Buck. What exactly has you so nervous?” 

Buck sighs, running a hand down his face. “I don’t even know. I-I just want them to like me. I know they are going to find so many things to comment on that are all going to make me feel like shit – my clothes, my loft, my job, my singleness. Especially since it’s a wedding. I know they want that for me and this is just another reminder for them that I’m alone and I hate it. Me just being me is never good enough,” he says, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, hearing his mom’s voice echo around his head. 

“Buck,” Eddie says softly. “You trust me?” 

Buck lifts his head to look at him curiously. “‘Course, Eddie.”

“Then believe me when I say you have always been good enough. I’ve got your back, remember? I’m not going to let them make you feel like shit.” 

Buck gives him a small smile. “Thank you.” 

They sit in comfortable silence until they board the plane. Buck squeezes his long limbs in the window seat, Eddie settling in next to him, thighs and shoulders pressed firmly together. They chat lightly about what calls the team might be going on while they’re out, Chris’ upcoming chess tournament, how their facetimes have been going. 

They’re in the middle of a conversation and Buck can barely keep his eyes open. His head keeps dipping, and he’s fighting sleep hard. The fifth time his chin hits his chest as he falls asleep, and then jerks up the next second, eyes forced open, Eddie chuckles, knocking his shoulder into Buck’s. 

“I got a perfectly good pillow right here,” he says, wiggling his shoulder for emphasis. 

Buck smiles, but shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good. You were telling me about repainting, come on.” 

Eddie hits him with a look. “Buck, you’re exhausted. I know you barely slept last night, you can barely even stay awake now. C’mon, man, there’s like four hours left. Just take a nap,” Eddie says, looking at him softly. 

Buck shakes his head again, and opens his mouth to argue, but all that comes is a huge yawn that has Eddie smiling smugly. 

“Fine, whatever,” Buck grumbles. He resolutely does not use Eddie’s shoulder as a pillow, tipping his head back against the seat and closing his eyes. He’s out like a light in seconds. 

He wakes up slowly, awareness creeping in like a water leak. His bad leg is cramping from being shoved into such a small space with no place to stretch. There’s warmth coming from his right and he leans into it without thinking. He slowly opens his eyes and realizes he has nearly overtaken all of Eddie’s personal space. 

His left arm is slung across Eddie’s stomach, right hand gripping his thigh. His cheek is smooshed onto Eddie’s shoulder and he realizes with a shock of horror that he’s fucking drooling . He stiffens and almost yanks his whole body away, but then he feels it. Eddie’s arm is around his shoulders, fingers stroking absentmindedly in his curls sending shivers down his spine as he scrolls his phone. Buck relaxes at the sensation, nuzzling back in and falling asleep again. 

This time, he doesn’t wake until he hears Eddie’s voice whispering in his ear. 

“Buck, c’mon, we’re landing in five minutes. Time to get up,” he says quietly. 

Buck is just on this side of consciousness, so he’s not sure if what he felt next actually happened or if it was the tail end of his dream, but he swears he feels a soft press of lips against his curls, and the thought has him smiling. 

He detaches himself from Eddie, leaning back into his own space, stretching as best as he can. His muscles feel stiff and tight, and his leg is screaming at him, but he has a content smile on his face – he needed that nap, he feels so much better. He turns to say something to Eddie, but his smile is wiped off his face and replaced with blazing hot cheeks as he looks at the wet spot of drool he left on Eddie’s shoulder. 

Fucking hell. Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion at what Buck could possibly be looking at like that, and looks down to check his own shirt. He sees the spot and his eyes snap up to Buck's smile splitting his face. He’s smiling? Buck is experiencing the single most embarrassing moment of his life and Eddie is smiling at him ?

“Oh, god, Eddie, I am so sorry,” Buck says, cringing. 

“Don’t worry about it. I always knew you were gross, now I just have proof. I get to wear it around,” Eddie teases. 

Buck flushes an even brighter red, and Eddie’s stomach flips. He likes that he is the one that put the color there, and he wants to do it again and again. 

“Eddie,” Buck whines. “L-Let’s change, come on, give it to me.”

“No, absolutely not. I’m wearing this like a badge of honor.”

“Ew, no, just switch with me real fast, that’s so gross, you can’t wear that around –”

He cuts off as he watches Eddie’s hand grip his shirt next to the wet spot, bringing it to his lips, brown eyes still trained on his, and places the area of shirt soaked with Buck’s drool into his mouth. Buck’s jaw is in hell. He feels his brain short-circuit, and he isn’t sure if he’s even breathing anymore. 

He’s not. Breathing, that is. He sucks in a huge breath of air and snaps his mouth shut as Eddie sucks Buck’s drool on his fucking shirt, eyes closing briefly with a muffled and quiet moan meeting Buck’s ears through the blood rushing there. He feels himself start to thicken in his pants, and he immediately blushes again, causing Eddie to smile with his shirt still between his teeth. 

He needs to look away or he’s going to full-on tent his pants and have an even more embarrassing situation to deal with. With Herculean effort, he tears his gaze away, forcing his eyes down. 

Big fucking mistake. Because he’s pretty sure he sees a slight bulge in Eddie’s pants, too. Jesus fucking Christ. He tears his eyes away from there too, Eddie’s huff of laughter hitting his ears as he fixes his eyes on the seatbelt sign above his head. 

Except…he’s never had great self-control. His eyes drift right back to that wet patch on Eddie’s shirt, and his mind is a flurry of thoughts about their spit mixing on Eddie’s cotton t-shirt. Now all he wants to do is put his mouth back on the spot, sucking Eddie’s spit out of the strands. 

He doesn’t realize how long he’s starting at the spot, how out of tune he is with everything else around him until he’s being jolted out of his trance by the wheels of the plane hitting the ground. He glances up at Eddie and finds him already looking back, eyes dark and heated. Buck’s head is whirling and he feels excitement shoot down his spine even though he is so fucking confused . 

Everyone around them is standing up, reaching into the overhead bins and grabbing their belongings, but Buck and Eddie are locked in this moment, heated gazes trained on each other. All the noise and chaos around them fades into the background until the whole universe shrinks to include just the space around them, just the two seats of 32A and 32B on this plane.

 It’s broken when the third person in their row accidentally whacks Eddie in the back of the head with her luggage as she struggles to get it down from the compartment. 

Eddie’s head snaps forward with the force, chin meeting his chest, and his hand comes up to rub the point of impact as he turns around to see what just happened. Buck can’t help it – he bursts out laughing. Eddie turns and shoots him a glare, which only makes Buck laugh harder. 

The woman next to them is apologizing profusely to Eddie, and he’s reassuring her while still rubbing at his head. The woman grabs her bag and heads down the aisle, leaving them alone in their seats. Buck is still laughing as Eddie stands up to grab their own bags down, shoving Buck’s into his chest. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie, are you okay?” Buck asks through his giggles. 

Eddie turns to give him another death glare but his own laughter bubbles up in his chest as he locks eyes with Buck. The two of them gather their bags and make their way off the plane, laughter following them the whole way.  

Their giggles finally die down on the escalator down to baggage claim, both of them sucking in deep breaths. Buck turns back to look at Eddie, both of their cheeks flushed pink, eyes bright. 

“Seriously, though, you okay? She knocked you good.”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, ‘m fine. Don’t know what the fuck was in her bag though, that was heavy as hell,” he huffs, which makes Buck chuckle again. 

They make their way to the carousel their bags will be coming up on, standing shoulder to shoulder despite the ample room to spread out after a cramped six-hour flight. The carousel is just starting to turn on and spit out bags when they hear it. 

“Uncle Buck! Uncle Eddie!” Jee screeches, nearly bowling Buck over when she dives at his legs. Buck grips Eddie’s arm briefly to keep himself straight, the other arm snaking down to wrap around Jee and lift her up. 

“Jee!” they respond together, and she giggles as she wraps her arms around Buck’s neck, giving him a tight hug. Over her shoulder, he sees Maddie and Chimney emerge with all of their bags and he gives them a wave. Jee chooses that moment to nearly rip herself from Buck’s arms to fling herself at Eddie. Eddie catches her easily and swings her around. Buck looks on with a stupid grin on his face, eyes softening at the sight of two of his favorite people together. 

Maddie bumps into his shoulder and she’s watching him with a knowing look on her face. 

Buck turns to her, keeping one eye out for their bags, as Eddie starts to chase Jee around the terminal making her squeal and giggle. 

“How was your flight in?” Buck asks. 

“Jee slept most of the time, so it actually was pretty nice! I got to watch a whole movie uninterrupted,” Maddie responds, chuckling. 

They watch as Eddie catches up to Jee and picks her up, tickling her, before releasing her back to start the chase all over again. 

“I’m glad he came with you,” she says softly. Buck hums his agreement, but he sees their luggage on the carousel and runs to grab it before he can respond. Chim signals to Eddie and Jee that they are ready to go and they all start to walk out to the rental car. 

Chim and Eddie load up the trunk with all of their bags while Maddie works on getting Jee’s seat set up in the car and Buck works on entertaining the girl herself. 

“I want you to do what Uncle Eddie did,” Jee says, tugging on the hem of his shirt. 

“I wish I could, Jee, but there are cars out here,” he explains. Jee’s face falls, and he can tell the tears are not far behind. 

“But, what if–” he starts scooping her up and swiftly turning her upside down and hooking her knees over his shoulder, walking around with her head by his hip, her giggles echoing in the parking garage. 

The other adults finish up quickly, and he deposits her safely in her carseat and buckles her up. The car is three rows - the driver and passenger seat up front, two middle seats, and a row of three seats in the far back. Maddie’s driving, and Chim is in the passenger seat, Jee is taking up a middle seat, and there are bags occupying the other middle seat, which leaves Buck and Eddie to squeeze in the far back, next to yet another stack of bags. Jesus. How much did Maddie pack? Nearly the whole car is full of luggage. 

“Did you bring everything you own?” Buck grumbles as he slides to the back seat, shoving himself against the luggage to make room for Eddie. 

Eddie slides into the seat next to Buck and they are plastered together from ankle to shoulder. Buck shifts to try and give Eddie more room, leaning into the bags, rolling so he's mostly on his hip. Eddie, however, matches his movements, and they end up practically spooning in the back seat. Through a little mirror attached to some toy sticking out of one of the bags back here, Buck can see Eddie chuckling behind him as much as he can feel the vibrations through his back. 

Maddie looks at them through the rearview mirror and starts to laugh. 

“Sorry, I guess I didn't even think about it. Do you want me to pull over? We can try to rearrange,” she says, tilting her head thoughtfully. 

Buck opens his mouth to tell her ‘yes’ that he can't possibly survive the forty minute drive to his parents with Eddie plastered against him like this. He’s still thinking about watching Eddie such his drool out of his shirt and the charged moment that follows, and having Eddie this close while reliving that moment is not going to be good for him. Except, no sound comes out. He doesn't tell Maddie to pull over because he physically cannot get the words out, and eventually he just stops trying. 

Eddie is your best friend. Eddie is straight. You cannot think about this right now. Or ever. Do not get hard for your best friend. Keep it together. Buck’s thoughts are on a loop, willing himself to believe that he’s remembering Eddie getting whacked in the head like a normal best friend would, and not seeing his dark gaze every time he closes his eyes. 

Jee babbles to herself for a little bit, and then promptly falls asleep again, seemingly exhausted from a day of traveling and excitement, even though it has only been a few hours since they left LA. Buck grapples with the bags a little, doing anything and everything to put some distance between him and Eddie. He shifts his hips and feels a single inch of space open between them and feels like he can finally breathe right. Having Eddie up in his personal space is scrambling his brain today, and he doesn’t know why. All he knows is he needs to keep a clear head and can’t do that with Eddie against his back. 

His relief is short lived, because a few moments after he shifts, Eddie shifts too, body finding its rightful spot against Buck’s. Eddie rests his head on Buck’s back, warm breaths puffing against his shirt, goosebumps spreading across his body. Eddie gives a little sigh, and settles in for the drive, while Buck’s breath gets caught in his throat. 

Buck remains stiff for most of the drive, not wanting to take over Eddie’s space, or let himself get too comfortable. He’s clinging to the luggage, keeping as much of his weight pulled away from Eddie as he can, but his arms are starting to get tired, muscles on the verge of shaking.

He’s still barely keeping his boner down, images of fabric between Eddie’s perfect teeth flashing in his mind. They hit a particularly deep pothole that makes the car rock violently, causing Buck to press back harder against Eddie. He simply stops breathing when he realizes what he’s feeling. 

He pushes his hips back again slowly just to double check that what he thinks he’s feeling is actually what he’s feeling and – yep. Eddie’s hard. Buck can’t help it, he relaxes his arms, letting more of his weight press against Eddie, just to feel it again. 

Buck’s eyes fall shut, and he takes in a deep breath. They’re close together, and they’ve been bumping up against each other for thirty minutes at this point, it’s just a natural body reaction at this point, right? Buck stretches his neck, looking over the back of the seat in front of him and checks to see if Jee is still asleep – she is – and then up front to make sure Maddie and Chim are still occupied talking and listening to music – they are. 

Except, he feels Eddie shifting against him, too. Eddie slowly grinds his hips up against Buck’s ass, like he can’t help but chase the friction he found there. 

Buck opens his eyes and looks at the mirror poking out of the bag. He finds Eddie’s eyes already watching him carefully, almost…hesitantly. Questioningly. 

Buck slowly shifts his hips back until they’re firmly pressed against Eddie’s. Eddie’s eyes flutter shut briefly in the mirror before they flicker back to Buck’s, gaze darker, more heated. Buck grinds his hips back again, and he feels a hot breath of air ghost across the back of his neck and lightning shoots down his spine, heat coiling in his gut. 

He feels himself thickening in his pants, knowing he has Eddie hard and pressed against his back. 

His mouth drops open on a silent gasp when Eddie starts to grind against his ass slowly and subtly, trying not to draw attention to the movement. He pushes back against Eddie as firmly as he can without moving his whole body. 

Even through two pairs of pants, he can feel Eddie slot in between his cheeks perfectly, and his head lolls to the side at the sensation. Eddie is so big. Buck knew that, had seen him change enough in the locker rooms at work, and had even helped him shower a bit when he got shot. He’s seen Eddie’s cock, but he’s never seen Eddie’s cock. Not really, and especially not in a context like this. And he certainly had never felt Eddie’s cock like he is right now. 

He knows they should stop – knows this is a horrible idea, that there is no world in which this ends well for them. But he can’t stop himself. He knows they can never be more than friends, knows Eddie is straight, knows he will never risk what he has with the Diaz boys for anything. He knows as soon as he confronts the warm ball of light in his chest when he thinks of Eddie, of Chris, it will all unravel. People he love, leave. That’s the way things have always been. 

He is terrified of touching that ball of light, terrified of what might happen between him and Eddie, terrified of losing their friendship, or ruining it, and somehow losing his bond with Chris as well. 

Nothing like this has ever worked out for him. He isn’t willing to risk the most important and formative relationships of his life for something he knows will never work – him and Eddie as anything more than friends. 

Yet, here he is, grinding his ass back against his best friend in the back seat as his sister drives them to his childhood home. He pushes his panic, fear, and insecurity aside and focuses on the feel of Eddie’s body moulded against his – he knows he is going to want to remember this. He hasn’t been known for making the best decisions. 

Eddie presses his forehead against the back of Buck’s neck, mouth open, breath coming in soft pants now, landing directly in between Buck’s shoulder blades. Eddie feels a thrill of excitement every time Buck shivers at the contact. 

He briefly wonders what the hell they are doing before the thought is shoved aside in favor of allowing Buck grinding on his cock his full attention. He closes his eyes, focusing all his senses on how Buck feels against him. 

Another thought flashes through his mind – has it always felt this good? He knows it’s been a while since Marisol, and even before with the whole ‘nun thing’, but still. He’s had dry spells before. For crying out loud, the man was in the military. He couldn’t exactly rub one out whenever he wanted. And even after he got back, he and Shanon were too wrapped up in whatever was happening between them to have sex much before she left him. 

So, yes, he’s had dry spells before, but even then, even after getting some relief – which he only ever sought when it was biologically necessary – it never felt like this. 

He knows they should not be doing this – anywhere, but especially here, in the car with Buck’s whole family – but he can’t seem to stop. He’s chasing the feeling of Buck against his cock, reveling in the warmth passing between their bodies. 

He also knows that he should not be doing this with Buck. Buck, his best friend, the one person who has had his back since day one and meant it, the one person he trusts more than anyone in this world with his son. The only other one person who’s friendship and connection mean everything to him besides Christopher’s. The one person he feels truly understands him, shares his burdens even when he doesn’t have to, who goes out of his way to help Eddie and make his life easier. The one person who fit into his life perfectly, without even trying – and one of two people he cannot imagine his life without. 

But even the possibility of losing Buck because of this isn’t enough to scare him into stopping. That should worry him, but it doesn’t, and, for once, he leans into the feeling of it all, leaving the thinking part for later. 

He swivels his hips, friction rubbing deliciously against his cock as it strains to break free of his boxers and jeans. Wearing jeans to the airport was stupid and he regrets it immensely right now – this would feel so much better if he was in sweatpants like Buck is. 

Eddie’s hand lands on Buck’s hips, giving it a gentle squeeze, and using his hold to help pull Buck into him discreetly. Buck thrusts back against him as best he can, pace increasing. Eddie lifts his head up, scanning the car quickly to make sure all its other occupants were deeply distracted – Jee is still asleep, Maddie and Chim doing a duet in the front. 

He leans down, grabbing the fabric of his t-shirt – the same area that had been drenched with Buck’s drool earlier – and tugs it between his teeth, trying to suck out any last molecule of Buck on the threads. When Buck sees what he’s doing in the mirror, and they lock eyes, his motions become nearly frantic, or as frantic as they can get in as little of a space as they have. 

Buck grinds his hips back, Eddie meeting him thrust for thrust. When Eddie smiles at him through the mirror, shirt between his teeth still, he knows it’s over. Tingles shoot up his spine and he thrusts once, twice, three more times. He stiffens, body muscles going tight as he bites into his lip to keep from crying out as he comes in his pants.  

Feeling Buck’s body go stiff against him, feeling Buck grind himself against Eddie through his orgasm, knowing he’s coming in his pants right now makes his heat coil in his gut, his own orgasm hitting him like a train as he follows Buck right over the edge, hips maneuvering against Buck as he spurts ropes of come into his boxers. 

Their eyes stay locked as they catch their breath, both of them panting quietly. Eddie gives Buck’s hip a gentle squeeze where his hand still lays, eyes still locked in the mirror. Guilt washes over Buck, and he can tell Eddie is feeling the same way just by the look on his face, and he wants to do something to make it better, to fix it, but he doesn’t know what to do. 

Obviously, they can’t talk about it here or now, but they should talk about it, and soon. Before he can even offer Eddie a smile – 

“Alright, we’re here. Everybody ready?” Maddie asks, voice tight, but trying to be positive. The car jostles as she pulls into the driveway. Eddie and Buck both cringe as they are shifted about, pants tugging uncomfortably at the drying come in both of their boxers. 

When Maddie finally parks the car and the door opens, gently waking Jee and pulling her from her seat, Eddie and Buck scramble to get out of the car and stretch. Buck looks to Eddie, trying to communicate in that way they do, often finding words unnecessary to get their point across. Buck wants to make sure they’re good, that what just happened didn’t just ruin their friendship. 

He seeks Eddie’s eyes, wants a sign – a look, a nod, a smile, anything –  to reassure himself that he didn’t just lose everything. 

But Eddie can’t even look at him. 

Chapter Text

Eddie won’t look at Buck, and the guilt is eating him alive. Guilt because he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Doesn’t know how he’s feeling. Doesn’t know why he just let it happen – not even let, but encouraged it, started it. 

He doesn’t know why he let it happen. Why he wanted it to happen. Being pressed against Buck was the highlight of his life. He’s never been so turned on in his life , and literally the only thing that happened was they sat next to each other . That thought is so fucking embarrassing he can barely breathe. 

It’s not even about Buck being a man – yes, that thought is freaking him out a bit, because that’s new – but he’ll get to that. That’s not what’s causing him the most anxiety. No, it’s more so about the fact that it’s Buck – his best friend. He cannot ruin this relationship because he was a little…what, horny? He’s never let that happen before, never felt so overrun by his own biology that he couldn't control himself. 

Normally, he had to really be focused to be intimate with his partners. His past partners nearly always initiated – the only reason he ever did was because he knew it was expected of him and he always wanted to be as good of a partner as he could be. But he was never really into it, never really understood the hype about sex that everyone else seemed to just inherently get. Sure, it felt good when he closed his eyes and let his mind drift. He enjoyed the physical closeness – getting to hold somebody and be held, and liked that he was able to be in that space with someone else. But for him, it was never about pleasure when he was with a partner – at least not for him. He always took pride in the fact that he could pleasure his partners well, but he preferred to get off by himself, and usually only when he absolutely needed to. 

So the fact that he couldn’t help but rut up into Buck, chasing pleasure like his life depended on it – in the fucking car of all places – is making him panic just a little. He has never felt a loss of control over his body – and subsequently his life because of course it was Buck – like this before, and he doesn’t know what to do with it. He doesn’t want to examine this any further, doesn’t want to pull at the loose threads in his psyche to get this to unravel to a point where it makes sense because this week is not about him, it’s about Buck. Buck needs him, so he can keep it together – he’s Eddie. He doesn’t panic. He has a silver star for fuck’s sake – a little dry humping in the back seat with his best friend is not going to send him off the deep end. Except… maybe it is. 

Buck is freaking out. His face feels flushed, cheeks flaming from embarrassment and regret. He can’t believe he just fucked everything up with Eddie and they have to stay here together for a whole week. Honestly Buck wouldn’t blame him if Eddie just left. He should just get back on a plane to LA, there’s simply no reason for him to stay. Buck still can’t fucking believe he even offered to come in the first place, but he’s surly not going to stick around now. Not after Buck just spent the entire drive here dry humping him.  

And it’s not even just the Eddie of it all – yes, that’s a part of why he feels like he is losing his mind – but he’s also standing in the driveway of the one place he never wanted to return. He didn’t think being back here would hit him so hard – he was more focused on who he was going to see, not where he was going to see them – but now, standing and looking at his childhood home, he feels weak in the knees. 

He walks around to the trunk of the car, ready to help unload the luggage when Maddie stops him. 

“United front, right?” she asks, holding up a pinky for him. He gives her a small smile and wraps their pinkies together. 

“You don’t have to worry about me, Mads. I’m okay,” he says, trying his best to make his voice even, make the words believable. 

“Buck, you don’t have to be okay all the time. But I’m not worried about you,” she says, looking at him softly. Her eyes flick to where Eddie is now tossing Jee up in the air and she’s giggling uncontrollably. She tips her head in their direction when she says, “I know you’re being taken care of.” 

Buck’s mouth opens to ask her what that even means, but before he gets the chance, she grabs a few bags and walks away from him, heading over to Jee and Chimney. 

Buck slings bags on his arms, loading himself up to feel useful to counter some of the shame he’s feeling swirling in his gut. His leg is on fire, stiff and cramped, and nearly unbearable to walk on, but he grits his teeth and pushes through – he doesn’t care if he’s in pain, and at this point he thinks he probably deserves it, and more, after that stunt he pulled in the car. 

He ends up with eleven various bags strapped across his back, chest and arms, and is carrying a suitcase in each hand as he clumsily makes his way up to the front door. He pauses on the porch, taking a few deep breaths. 

He always feels himself regress when he is in this town, in this house. Hell, even just being near his parents. He feels himself turn into that small, invisible boy. The one who could never do anything right, who was never good enough, who only got a modicum of attention when he was physically injured. 

He thinks about all the kids he knows – Jee, Chris, Baby Han, Denny, Mara, and even May and Harry – feeling the way he is feeling right now and he’s hit with a wave of nausea so strong it nearly takes him to his knees. He can’t imagine Maddie, Chimney, Eddie or himself ever treating them the way his parents treated him. Frustration rolls over him once again, but he breathes through it and lets it go – he does not need to go into this week already feeling pissed off about things he can’t change. The only thing he can do now is be better for the kids in his life than any adult ever was for him. The thought that the kids he knows will always know a loving, supportive environment brings a smile to his face. 

He glances over at Eddie again and is once again struck by how amazing he is at being a dad. He didn’t have a great childhood either – they only ever talked about it once, late at night after a few too many beers, bonding over feeling isolated and alone, swapping stories on how their parents fucked them up. Real uplifting conversation. But it gave him a glimpse into what Eddie went through, and made him appreciate how fantastic he is with Chris that much more. 

That was even further emphasized by Eddie still being kind and respectful to his parents when they showed up in LA a few months ago threatening to take Chris back to Texas. Buck had been ready to step in, and was actively digging his fingernails into his palm the whole time they were in the house, and Eddie was still able to look at both his parents and offer them love. Eddie kissed his mom on her fucking forehead. The man was a hero and a saint, at least in Buck’s opinion. 

Rooted in place, he stares at the house and the nerves are overwhelming. He feels a tightness in his chest as he thinks about going inside and facing his parents. He’s still a firefighter, he’s still single, he’s still living alone – he’s in exactly the same place he was when he last saw his parents two years ago. Nothing has changed, at least not that they will notice or care about. His mental health is better, his self-worth has increased, he actually feels like he has a legitimate self of who he is and why he is important for the first time in his life. But they are just going to see him the way they always have. He doesn’t know if he can handle that. 

His breath is coming faster, and he very nearly takes a step backwards to have a few more minutes outside to compose himself when he feels Eddie walk up next to him, silently pressing his shoulder into him in a silent show of support. 

With the warmth from Eddie’s arm against his, he takes a real, genuine deep breath, nerves not dissipating entirely, but lessening significantly. He turns his head to give Eddie a small smile of thanks, but Eddie’s gaze is focused on the front door. Buck holds back a wave of regret, choosing to focus instead on the fact that Eddie is still here, still offering support, still caring. 

Eddie reaches over and grabs bags off his body, helping lighten the weight Buck is carrying in more ways than one. 

Maddie looks over her shoulder from where she has a hand raised to knock on the door, shooting him a questioning look. You ready? 

Buck nods, even though the answer is no. Eddie’s here – he’s not going into this alone, and he feels immense gratitude toward his best friend for being here. Maddie and Chimney are great, of course, but it’s different. Having someone who is here just for him, someone who has always been in his corner adds another layer of support he didn't realize he was craving until he had it. 

Maddie knocks on the door and it nearly immediately swings open, revealing Margaret and Philip Buckley on the other side, smiles wide as they look at Maddie. 

“Maddie, Howie, how lovely to see you! And you must be baby Jee-Yun,” Margaret says, bending over slightly to look at Jee where she’s clutching onto Maddie’s legs. 

“Mom, Dad, hi,” Maddie says, and she’s swept into a hug from both of them. Philip holds out his hand for Chimney to shake his hand and Margaret bends down to hug Jee. 

Jee looks up at Maddie, confusion evident on her little face, but at Maddie’s encouragement, she accepts the hug. 

Margaret squeezes Jee tightly, and then holds her at arms length to look her up and down. 

“Come on, sweetie, let’s get you out of these old clothes,” she says, and her and Philip usher Maddie, Chim and Jee inside, leaving Eddie and Buck standing on the porch to follow behind. 

“They didn’t even look at you,” Eddie says quietly, voice tight. 

Buck’s head turns to look at him, and he sees the way Eddie’s jaw is clenched, eyes blazing as he stares after the Buckley parents as they move through the house. 

“Yeah, well, you know, Jee’s here so…” Buck trails off, hand coming up to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck. 

Honestly, he couldn’t be less surprised that his parents ignored him. That’s how it has been literally his whole life. In fact, the last time he saw or spoke to his parents, he was begging them to love him over dinner. They have never understood him, and he was desperately asking them to love him anyway, and they still didn’t get it. 

That dinner was a tipping point for him. It made him realize that he never needed their approval. He never needed their love – not that he could ever have it. All he ever needed was himself, and he was enough. That lesson has gotten him through some of the hardest situations of his life. That lesson saved his life when he was struck by lightning – learning that he could love himself as he is, that he could love his life, that he was worth fighting for – changed the way he looked at the world. It’s the only good thing his parents ever taught him – that all he ever truly needed was himself. Everything else was a bonus.

“Buck,” Eddie says, soft but firm. Buck’s eyes glance to his face, expecting him to still be watching the others, and his breath catches when Eddie’s warm brown eyes are already looking at him softly. “You deserve at least a hello. I’m glad I came with you.” 

“Thanks, Eddie. Come on, let’s go before they forget we’re here and lock us out,” Buck says, voice an equal mix of joking and serious, because that is absolutely something he can see happening. 

He takes a few steps toward the front door, limping slightly because of his bad leg before he feels Eddie’s hand grip his elbow to slow him down. 

“Take some painkillers when you get in there, okay?” 

“Nah, it’s fine, I just need to stretch out. Been cramped up all day, it’s bound to act up a little,” Buck says, waving his hand through the air as if to knock away Eddie’s comment. 

“Buck,” Eddie says again. Buck’s looking inside, and he can feel Eddie’s gaze on him. He waits for Eddie to keep talking, but he doesn’t continue until Buck focuses back on him. “I wasn’t really asking. You’re taking the pills.”  

“No, Eddie, c’mon, you know that I don’t like to–”

“I need you to take them,” Eddie says, gaze softening as he looks at Buck. He squeezes lightly where his fingers are still wrapped around Buck’s arm. “For me.” 

Buck just nods, lump forming in his throat, unable to speak. Eddie releases his elbow, following him through the house. 

They head upstairs first to drop off the plethora of bags they have still hanging from their forms. At the landing at the top of the stairs, Eddie can see five doors – one at the very end of the hall on his left, one straight across from him, and three on his right. The one across from him clearly leads to a bathroom since he can see a toilet and shower. He follows as Buck navigates to the right. 

The first room they come to is light purple, with wildflower curtains and a matching bedspread with a white ‘ Maddie’ name plate hanging over the bed. There’s a massive bookshelf lined with everything from picture books to chapter books to yearbooks to textbooks, trophies, picture frames, awards. It’s stuffed to the brim with achievements and memories, and Maddie’s face shines brightly in every picture on the shelf. 

They lay down the bags containing Maddie, Chimney and Jee’s things and head back into the hallway. Eddie can’t help but peek into the other two rooms. The one directly next to Maddie’s is a large owner’s suite, beige walls, furniture and decor making up the room. Must be the Buckley parent’s room. Eddie steps in the direction of the room across the hall from Maddie’s, assuming it must be Buck’s but Buck turns and heads in the other direction, making his way down the hall toward the door clear at the other end. 

Eddie takes a quick look in the room and sees a sign hanging above the bed. ‘Daniel’. The theme looks to be animals, so there are artistic pictures of zoo animals hung around the room and stuffed animals on nearly every available surface. There’s a bookshelf littered with children’s books, toys and pictures. A huge rug lies in the center of the room that makes it look like you’re laying on the ground of a forest, looking up through the trees. The room looks untouched, like there is a seven year old waiting to return at any moment. 

Eddie catches up to Buck as he opens the door to the last room. The walls are a light grey that match the bedspread on the bed. The walls are bare – nothing hung up, no name plate over the bed, no pictures. Not even a bookshelf. There’s a bed, a nightstand and a dresser and that’s it. He shuts the door behind him as he steps inside the room. 

“Why did they change your room and not Maddie’s?” Eddie asks, setting his bag down next to the dresser. 

“They didn’t,” Buck says simply, voice quiet. 

“What?” Eddie says, spinning back to face Buck, seeing him fidgeting with the corner of a blanket laid across his bed, eyes down. 

“They didn't change anything. It’s exactly how it’s always been,” Buck explains, turning to sit on the edge of the bed, anxiously twisting his hands in his lap. 

Eddie’s heart cracks in his chest. The difference in the rooms is so shocking he thought for sure they had renovated after Buck moved out. To know that this blank, drab, boring room was the backdrop for Buck’s childhood is shattering him. His Buck. His ray of sunshine, pure joy, energetic, kind, loving, selfless Buck. 

“How the hell are you as amazing as you are when they treated you like this ?” Eddie murmurs, gesturing around the room. 

“What do you mean?” Buck responds, looking down at the floor again to avoid eye contact with Eddie, but with a tilt in his head like a curious puppy. 

Eddie crosses the room to stand in front of him, reaching out to cup Buck’s cheek, tipping his head up so Buck looks at him. 

“Buck, I am so proud of you,” Eddie says softly, trying to figure out how to put what he’s feeling into words. He will never understand how Maddie and Buck both made it out of this house as two of the best people he knows. He thanks his lucky stars that they did, though, because he can’t imagine what his life would be like without Buck. 

Turns out, thinking about it was a waste of time because every coherent thought he was able to make flies out of his head when tears well up in Buck’s eyes. He tries to break free of Eddie’s grasp, look away, embarrassed at his own reaction to those words, but Eddie won’t let him. 

Instead, Eddie drops to the floor in between Buck’s leg, hand still on Buck, thumb stroking Buck’s cheek softly. “Buck,” he whispers, wiping away a stray tear that tracks down Buck’s face. He's so focused on Buck that he completely ignores the way the dry come in his pants tugs at him uncomfortably. 

“Bobby’s the only one who has ever said that to me,” Buck rasps, looking at Eddie with wide eyes. “Being here is so hard for me, Eddie. They don’t see me.” 

“I know. I see you, Buck. I see you. And you are amazing. You’re amazing despite them. Buck, they-they treated you like shit, they still do. It’s a miracle you turned out as perfect as you did. And I’m not just saying that,” Eddie says, ducking his head down to keep his eyes level with Buck’s. 

The words hit Buck like a bullet to the chest. Eddie does see him. Eddie has always seen him. Even that very first day they met when Buck was being an absolute dick, Eddie saw through him, could see right to his very core. During the lawsuit, even when emotions were high on both ends, Eddie forgave him, understanding why he had done what he did. After the tsunami, when Buck was at his lowest, Eddie knew what he needed before even he did. Eddie has seen every part of him – the good and the bad – and has stuck around anyway. Warmth unfurls and settles in his chest, the glowy feeling of home he has only ever gotten at the Diaz house. 

Buck gives him a shaky smile. “Thanks, Eddie.” 

“‘Course,” Eddie shrugs. “C’mon, pills and then we have to go downstairs,” Eddie says, going to grab a bottle of water and some painkillers he keeps in his backpack. He shakes out three pills – knowing first hand that two is not enough for Buck – and walks back over to the bed, stopping and standing in front of him once again. 

“Really, Eddie, I don't need tho–” 

“Open up,” Eddie says, firm yet gentle. 

Buck looks up at him with wide eyes, brows scrunched in confusion. 

“What?” 

“Open up,” is all that Eddie repeats. 

So Buck does. His jaw drops until his mouth is open, head tilted up at Eddie. Eddie takes one pill in between his fingers and gently places it on Buck’s tongue. Eddie uncaps the water and slowly tips it in order to pour some in Buck’s mouth so he can swallow the pill. 

Eddie knows Buck can do this on his own – he's a grown man, he doesn't need to be hand fed pills – but something about the action of taking care of Buck right now is soothing his frustration and settling something in him. He knows this is hard for Buck, being here, being around his parents. But he didn't realize how hard it would be for him to be here, the desire to protect Buck and pump him full of love and kindness like he's never known is overwhelming, all-consuming. So he leans into it, channeling his energy into making sure Buck is okay. 

Buck is still just looking up at Eddie, eyes a little clouded, an expression on his face Eddie has never seen before and is unable to place. 

“Again,” Eddie whispers, holding up another pill. 

Buck opens his mouth without protest or hesitation, and satisfaction curls in Eddie's gut. He places the second pill on Buck's tongue, and gives him some more water to accompany it. 

Buck’s mouth opens again without Eddie having to ask, and he gives Buck a soft smile for that. Buck’s eyes are completely glazed over at this point, and Eddie feels like he has fire in his veins. 

Eddie steps closer into Buck’s space, making him tilt his head even further back to keep eye contact. He can feel himself thickening in his pants – the second time today where he can feel himself losing to his biology, the unshakable need and desire burying itself under his skin. 

His fingers grip Buck’s chin as he uses his thumb to press the last pill onto Buck’s tongue. He should pull back, give Buck some space, get his fingers out of his mouth, but he doesn't. He keeps his thumb in Buck’s mouth, pouring in a splash of water with his free hand. When Buck closes around his thumb to swallow the pill, they both let out a light groan. 

Eddie breaks eye contact for the first time in minutes to look down and see that Buck is also starting to tent his pants. He's about to do something incredibly reckless and stupid. He wants to push Buck back flat on the bed, climb on top of him and hump his fucking thigh until they both come again. 

The image of Buck in front of him, his thumb in his mouth, is sending all the blood rushing to his cock, leaving him lightheaded. There's a certain power trip that comes from having a man as big and strong as Buck listen to his every direction without even needing to speak. 

However, he knows that engaging in this type of activity with Buck is only going to lead them places they won't know how to get back from. Eddie doesn't even know what he's doing – he's never felt attraction like this before, especially not with a man. But being that close to Buck earlier and feeling that high has unlocked something in him – awoken a beast he didn't know was there and now the need was insatiable. 

He's just about to come to his senses and back away when Buck’s tongue brushes against his thumb, and his cheeks hollow as he sucks on it. 

Buck released a muffled moan as Eddie gasps softly from above him. Buck keeps his eyes on Eddie's, as he slowly pulls off Eddie's thumb slightly, and swallows him back deeper. 

Buck feels like he is on fire. Eddie's thumb is in his mouth and he's never been so hard in his life. Not even an hour ago in the car when him and Eddie were practically dry humping in the backseat. Embarrassment and desire fight for dominance in his stomach, and desire wins as Eddie throws his head back on a sigh when Buck swirls his tongue around his thumb again. Buck wants to see what other noises he can draw out of Eddie, wants to find out what pushes his buttons. 

Buck loses himself in the motion of sucking on Eddie's finger, unable and unwilling to think about anything else – choosing to ignore the fact that they still have dry come in their pants from the whole car incident, ignoring the fact that they need to talk about it, ignoring the fact that everyone is waiting for them downstairs, and definitely ignoring the fact that, oh yeah, Eddie's straight. 

Eddie's free hand reaches out to cup Buck’s cheek, slowly sliding up to grip his curls, making Buck’s eyes nearly roll back in his head. 

“Buck,” Eddie says softly, lifting his head again to look down at Buck. 

Buck pulls himself off of Eddie's thumb, a string of saliva connecting his pink bottom lip to the tip of Eddie's hand that he can't look away from. 

“Please, Eddie,” Buck whispers, eyes big and pleading as he looks up at Eddie. He doesn’t even know what he’s asking for, he just knows that whatever he needs, Eddie will give him. He trusts Eddie more than anyone in the world – knows that Eddie can read him like an open book, and knows that Eddie 

A better man would stop. A stronger man would say no, would say they have to talk about it. Would say Eddie should figure himself out first because he’s straight, and he shouldn't be leading Buck on like this. 

But when it comes to Buck…Eddie’s never been able to say no. 

The hand that was wrapped in Buck’s hair trails down his cheek and side of his neck, sending shivers through Buck that make Eddie grin. When he reaches Buck’s chest, Eddie pushes, gentle but firm, until Buck is laying flat on his back with his feet still hanging over the edge, planted on the floor. 

Eddie climbs up, slotting himself so one of Buck's thighs is between his legs, and one of his knees is between Buck’s legs, Buck’s head bracketed between Eddie's arms where he's holding himself up. 

Eddie leans forward and Buck groans when Eddie's thigh makes contact where Buck needs it the most. Eddie lowers himself slightly and has to muffle a groan of his own as he feels the friction from Buck’s thigh. 

Buck lays his head back, looking up at Eddie through hooded eyes as Eddie starts to grind on Buck’s leg, providing delicious relief to both of their cocks. 

Buck is letting out little whines and moans, but his bottom lip is pulled tightly between his teeth, and Eddie knows that he's holding back. For a brief, insane moment, Eddie nearly reaches out to tug his lip out from between his teeth, almost tells him to let go, wants to hear how good he is making Buck feel.  Eddie himself is trying to stifle his own pants and grunts as he works them both closer to the edge. 

One of Buck’s hands lands on Eddie's hip, and the other grips onto his bicep. Buck starts lifting his hips to meet Eddie’s, and on one particularly dirty grind, a desperate moan is ripped from Eddie's chest – he's almost embarrassed, but he hears it echoed back to him from Buck, and that makes every thought fly out of his head, overtaken by instinct and desire more than anything else. 

He leans down and whispers in Buck’s ear. 

“Ever done this in your room before?” 

Buck shakes his head violently, still biting onto his lip to keep himself quiet. 

“That's what I thought. Just for me, huh? Nobody else gets to see you like this, not here. Not anywhere. God, Buck, you're so fucking desperate for me right now, aren't you?” 

Buck nods, a whine slipping loose from his throat. “ Fuck. Yes, Eddie, yes, I am, always,” he pants. 

The words make his cock jump in his pants, and Eddie starts to grind harder in response. 

“Are you always this horny?” Eddie asks. 

Buck nods, and adds, “Y-Yeah, but it’s been worse today. Been turned on almost all day.”

“How long?” Eddie demands. Buck hesitates, eyes glancing off to the side for the first time since Eddie climbed into his lap. Eddie pauses his movements, lifting his hips off of Buck’s, and Buck’s hips jerk up, trying to chase him. 

“Buck. How long have you been horny today?”

“Since the plane,” Buck admits, voice small. His answer surprises Eddie, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline. Eddie settles back down on Buck’s lap, letting his weight rest on the man under him. 

“What about the plane, Buck?” 

Buck wiggles underneath him, and Eddie relishes in the feeling of turning him on and making squirm like this. 

“W-When you, um…When you sucked my drool off your shirt,” Buck whispers, head turned completely to the side, cheeks red. Eddie takes one hand and grips Buck’s chin in his fingers, turning his head to look him in the eyes. Buck’s eyes are wide, pupils blown so big there’s almost no blue left. Buck’s lips are parted and he’s panting. Eddie starts grinding down against him again, watching as Buck’s eyes flutter shut. Eddie releases Buck’s jaw, but he doesn’t turn his head away again, and that sends tingles shooting across Eddie’s body. Buck’s hips start to work with his again, rutting up against Eddie. 

Eddie hums. “You liked that, huh? Bet you wanted a turn after me, didn’t you?” Eddie asks. He is kind of shocked at the words coming out of his mouth, but he has no control over them. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Luckily, it doesn’t seem like Buck minds, because as soon as the words leave Eddie’s lips, Buck is digging his teeth into his lip again to stifle a guttural moan. He nods again, eyes desperate. 

Eddie can tell he's getting close, both of their rhythms faltering as they chase their release. 

“Bet you're just leaking for me right now. Need to come so bad it's driving you crazy,” Eddie taunts. 

“Mhm, need to, Eddie, please, I’m so close, I need –” 

“Uncle Buck! Uncle Eddie! Mommy says you have to entertain me until dinner and I'm bored! ” Jee yells from downstairs. 

Eddie and Buck stare at each other with wide eyes, bodies completely frozen. 

It isn't until they hear little feet stomping on the stairs that they separate, Eddie flinging himself back and across the room as Buck sits up on the bed right as the door flies open to reveal a very pouty, very impatient Jee-Yun. 

“Uncle Buck, come on, I want to play princesses!” Jee demands, crossing the room and grabbing onto Buck’s hands, her tiny palm disappearing entirely into his. She uses her full weight to tug at him, trying to pull him with her. 

Buck’s eyes flick from Jee to Eddie and back to Jee. “I’m gonna, um, p-princesses,” he says lamely, gesturing toward the door with his free hand. 

“Right, yeah. I, um shower,” Eddie replies, jerking his thumb toward the bathroom and cringing. Buck nods jerkily as he stands up, tugging at his pants uncomfortably. 

Eddie has to stifle a laugh, watching Buck trying to subtly adjust himself while also knowing there’s long dried come stiffening his boxers and causing the fabric to stick to his skin – he knows because his boxers feel the same way. 

Buck shoots him a glare as he gives up on the adjustments and just starts to follow after Jee. “Shut up, man,” Buck says, with no real heart behind it. 

That makes Eddie break, and he starts to laugh out loud as they head down the hallway. He has nearly composed himself when Buck gives him the middle finger behind his back as he and Jee reach the top of the stairs, and that sends Eddie into another fit of laughter. 

He shakes his head and goes to get fresh clothes out of his bag. He moves into the bathroom, getting out a towel and washcloth. He turns the water as hot as it will go and begins to strip out of his clothes. 

His shirt, socks, and jeans all come off easily. He slowly peels his boxers off, wincing at the crunchy feel of fabric and the way it separated from his skin. He feels a brief moment of sympathy for Buck, stuck in his uncomfortable clothes playing princesses with Jee, but the moment passes quickly and he’s back to chuckling to himself as he steps into the shower. 

The hot water feels amazing as it hits his skin, washing away the day of travel and evidence of what they did in the car. Eddie’s forehead hits the cold tile of the shower wall as he closes his eyes, remembering the way Buck was pressed up against him in the backseat. 

He’s still hard from when he was grinding on Buck earlier, and his hand is wrapping around his cock before he can even think about it. He bites down on his bottom lip to stifle the noise as he starts to stroke himself, canines digging in almost painfully, which just makes his pleasure heighten. He keeps his eyes closed, images of Buck underneath him looking utterly pathetic and wrecked flashing across his lids. He feels a bead of precome leak out, and he takes his thumb and swipes over the slit, head lifting and banging against the wall. 

He’s not going to last long – seeing and feeling Buck underneath him lit his veins on fucking fire . He feels certain that he has never been this aroused or horny before in his life. He starts fucking into his fist, squeezing himself gently, grunt escaping him. 

He imagines what it would feel like to slide his hands across Buck’s wide, muscular chest. He feels the sudden desire to suck and bite spots all over, almost like a dog marking his territory. That’s what Buck is to him though – his territory. 

He imagines it’s Buck’s fist around his cock. Imagines what it would feel like to be on top of him again, without pants this time. He’s so close he feels heat pooling in his gut and sparks shooting up his spine. When he imagines leaning down and kissing Buck’s plump and pink lips, tongues meeting in a wet tangle, he’s pushed over the edge, thick ropes of come spurting all over the shower wall, one guttural groan punched from his gut. 

He places both hands flat against the shower wall, chest heaving. He comes back into his body slowly, eventually catching his breath and blinking his eyes open. What is wrong with him? 

The first thing he needs to do when he gets back to LA is look for a girlfriend. If he is so touch deprived he is masturbating to his best friend he needs a partner, like, yesterday. Shame, embarrassment, and confusion wash over him in waves as he quickly cleans his body off and shampoos his hair. He’s had dry spells before. He was in the army. Wasn’t exactly easy to rub one out in the middle of the desert, under fire, surrounded by his whole squadron. Even when he was with Shannon, they would go weeks without physical intimacy. Same with Ana and Marisol, now that he thinks about it. He has no problem going long stretches of time without physical touch, so he has no idea why he now suddenly feels like he’s a horny teenager. 

He shoves all his feels in a little box, securing it with several layers of packing tape – he needs to pull it together. This week is supposed to be about him being a good friend to Buck. Buck needs him right now. He can dissect his innermost emotions at a later, more convenient time. 

He quickly dries off and throws on his fresh clothes, hanging up his towel to dry, and heading downstairs. 

He hears Margaret, Philip, Maddie and Chim chatting to the right, pots and pans clanging as they work on making dinner. He heads to the left where he can heat Jee’s squeals of laughter and Buck’s soft chuckles. He rounds the corners and his lips immediately curl into a smile. 

Buck has all his limbs folded and crammed around a table – the smallest table Eddie has ever seen in his life – dressed in a pink tutu, a crown, and a pink beaded necklace around his neck. There are three stuffed animals sitting in chairs across from him, all wearing their own crowns, and Jee is walking around with a teapot and saucer plates playing waitress while wearing a purple tutu and crown, of course. 

Buck glances up as Eddie comes in, and Eddie only needs a brief moment of eye contact to know that Buck is struggling. Having his big body forced to be in small spaces all day has been killing him, and Eddie knows it. But Buck loves Jee too much to let that stop him, so he’s pushing through the pain. Eddie also knows that Buck needs to shower before they all sit down for dinner. 

“Hey, Jee! I haven’t been able to be a princess in like, a week. Do you think I could switch places with Uncle Buck? I think pink is more my color anyway,” Eddie says, subtly motioning for Buck to get up. He does, with a stifled grunt that feels like a slap across the face to Eddie. 

Buck gingerly steps out of the tutu and hands it to Eddie. Eddie puts it on, and stands still while Buck transfers the necklace onto his neck. When Buck places the crown on his head, he pauses for a moment, searching Eddie’s eyes. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. 

Eddie just smiles and shrugs in response, going to take his seat at the tiny table. 

“Okay, Uncle Eddie, do you want tea or coffee?” Jee asks, holding up her teapot. 

Eddie tilts his head and places a finger on his chin, pretending to think about it. “Hmm…Tea. It’s a little late for coffee, I don’t want to be up all night,” he says. 

Jee giggles. “Uncle Eddie, it’s pretend,” she whispers loudly. Eddie feigns surprise at her words, placing a hand on his chest. 

“What? Well, in that case, I want to drink a rainbow.” 

“A rainbow?! You can’t drink a rainbow!” 

“I thought it was pretend! I can drink whatever I want if it’s pretend,” Eddie defends. Jee sighs, shaking her head. 

“It is pretend, but I am all out of rainbow. Try again,” Jee demands. 

Eddie takes a minute to think again. His eyes flick up to where Buck is leaning against the entryway, fond eyes watching them. 

“How about some juice, Jee?” Eddie asks, eyes still locked on Buck’s. 

“I only have apple juice because orange juice is yucky,” Jee says, walking over to the pretend kitchen to fill the tea pot with apple juice. Eddie makes a shooing motion at Buck, encouraging him to get upstairs and shower before they need to sit down to eat. Buck gives him a single nod and turns to the stairs, Eddie and Jee’s laughter following him all the way up. 

He quickly gathers his shower things, and heads into the bathroom. He peels off his outer layer quickly and takes greater care with his boxers. He cringes as they finally fall away from his body. He turns the shower on as low as it can go while still being at full water pressure. 

He steps in and sighs, the cold water nearly violently refreshing. He stands under the spray for as long as he can handle and then reaches out to adjust the temperature up until it’s warm. He turns around, letting the spray run down his back, and he sees it. 

On the shower wall in front of him, globs of white stick to the tile. Heat punches through Buck, because he knows what that is, knows what it means . It means Eddie jerked off in here earlier. The thought has Buck growing hard so quickly he gets lightheaded and has to push his hand into the wall for stability. Before he can think about it, he wraps his free hand around himself as he sinks to his knees. 

He starts stroking himself quickly as he leans in and flattens his tongue against the cool tile, swiping up one stripe of Eddie’s come. As soon as the substance makes contact with him, he’s groaning into the wall. He remembers the way Eddie felt on top of him, grinding down on his lap like his life depended on it. He starts to stroke himself faster, knows he isn’t going to last long being able to taste Eddie, even via a fucking shower wall. 

Knowing that Eddie was in here just ten minutes ago jerking off, maybe even while thinking of him while doing so has his blood igniting. He tries his best to keep his groans quiet as he open-mouth laps at the tile, fist tightening around himself, pace increasing as he brings himself closer to the edge. He frantically traces his tongue over every groove in the wall to make sure he has consumed every molecule of Eddie’s come. 

He closes his eyes, savoring the last drop he swipes up with his tongue, imagining sucking Eddie’s come straight from the source, swallowing it down as he comes down his throat. With that mental image, Buck’s stomach twists and he squirts come all over the bottom of the tub and his hand. He works himself until he is just bordering on overstimulation, and then plants his hands on his thighs and his forehead on the wall, breath coming in uneven pants. 

Holy fuck. That’s the second time today that he has come to the thought of his straight best friend. What is going on with him? This cannot be happening ever , but especially not this week – a week Eddie selflessly gave up to be there to support him. He feels that familiar curl of shame settle in his gut. He’s being selfish – selfish and disgusting – and he needs to get it together before he loses his best friend. A friend he would rather die than lose. 

He stands on shaky legs, quickly washing off his body and going through his hair routine at lightning speeds. He wipes himself off using the same towel Eddie just used – it’s a little damp, but he forgot to grab himself one and it is just going to have to do. He tries not to let himself think about the piece of fabric touching Eddie’s wet and naked body just fifteen minutes earlier, but fails miserably. 

He puts on fresh clothes and wipes a spot free of condensation in the mirror, leaning in to look himself in the eyes. 

“You will stop whatever it is you are doing. He is straight. Don’t even go there. Not an option. You will not fuck this up,” he whispers to himself. He takes a deep breath, trying to collect himself. One breath turns into five, and his brain still feels scrambled, so he decides to just push his thoughts aside as he turns toward the door. 

When he finally makes it back downstairs, Eddie and Jee are no longer in the front room, but are helping to set the table, still dressed in their princess gear. Eddie looks up at him when he walks in and a smile grows across his face. Buck answers with a grin of his own, eyes pointedly glancing as his tutu and crown, eyebrows raised. Eddie gives him a shrug and nods his head toward Jee. Buck’s heart fucking glows in his chest. The fact that Eddie is wearing his princess costume to help set up for dinner just because Jee asked him to makes him feel so fond he might explode on the spot. 

“Ah, Evan, finally decided to join us. And right when the work is nearly all finished, too,” Margaret says, scooping mashed potatoes into a fancy bowl and placing it in the center of the dining room table. She glares in his direction, skimming him over from head to toe, and then she turns back to the food with a slight shake of her head. 

Buck’s cheeks burn, and he swallows thickly, feeling his emotions rising fast. “Right, uh, sorry, just, like, wanted to wash the travel off, you know? Anyways, what can I help with?” he asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet, anxiety coursing through his veins. 

“Maddie traveled all day, too and she was still able to make this delicious dinner for us,” his mom huffs, plating other various sides and setting them to the side. 

Buck nods slowly. “Yeah, I-I know. Sorry. Um, help? With anything?” he asks again. He catches Maddie’s eye and she mouths I’m sorry at him. He gives her a small smile in return – it isn’t her fault his parents treat him like this. She has always tried to support him and stand up for him, even when she hasn’t needed to. 

Philip sighs loudly. “Come on, Evan, it’s been a long day. Can we keep the energy to a minimum? All your bouncing is making me…nauseous.” 

Buck’s body stills immediately, face flushing. He can’t even offer help correctly. They’ve only been here for a few hours and he’s already fucking up. He tries so hard not to let their comments impact him, tries to stay present and not shut down, but he can already feel it. He can feel the way he regresses into his younger self when he’s around his parents, feels the desire to do something drastic to get his “other parents” – the version of his parents who showed him kindness and care, but only when he was hurt. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep himself composed. He’s an adult now – he doesn’t need their approval, and he doesn’t need his parents to care about him now , especially since he’s found a true and genuine family in LA. 

“Buck, can you finish laying out the silverware? I wanna call Chris real quick,” Eddie says, eyeing him carefully. Buck gives him a grateful smile, relief spreading through his body, thankful he has something he can do with his hands instead of just fidgeting. 

“Y-Yeah, of course. Tell Chris I said hi!” 

Buck joins Jee in setting the table as Eddie steps away, walking upstairs. His mind is whirling. He didn’t realize how bad being back here after all this time would be for him. He feels scolded, childish, small . He always feels this way around his parents, but not seeing them for two years has somehow made it even worse, like they were saving all their disdain for him until this week and now he has to face their full wrath. 

It isn’t until he places the last spoon on the table that he sees it – Eddie’s phone resting on a chair. Buck feels tears prick at the back of his eyes and blinks quickly so they stay back there. He'd never hear the end of it if he started crying right now. 

Eddie saw that he needed an outlet and made up an excuse to give him a job just to try and make him feel better. Eddie’s words from earlier echo through his mind – I see you, Buck – and he feels something inside him shift, an unfamiliar, but not unwelcome, feeling spreading through his chest and settling there.

Eddie comes back around the corner, tutu and crown free, just as Margaret announces that dinner is ready. Buck can't help but stare at Eddie, wondering how he got so lucky to get such a good best friend. Eddie scrunches up his brows and tilts his head to the side, silently asking Buck if he's okay. Buck nods once, small smile on his lips, and Eddie smiles back, sliding into the seat with his phone on it. Buck sits next to him and Eddie's knee immediately presses into his, providing more silent comfort to him knowing that he needs it. 

Maddie and Chim sit across from them with Jee nestled in the middle, with Margaret and Philip on either end of them. 

“So, Eddie, what is it that you do?” Philip asks as he settles into the seat at the head of the table. 

“I'm a firefighter, actually. I work with Buck and Chim at the 118,” Eddie says. 

“Eddie actually used to be an army medic, so he helps fill in for Hen or I if we ever need help. I keep telling him he should be a paramedic full time, but he hasn’t taken me up on it yet,” Chim says. 

“And I keep telling you, I would rather stay on A-shift than be a paramedic. Come on, man, the team is too important for me to up and leave, and you know it,” Eddie says back, shooting Chim a wink. 

“Wow, good for you. And you have a son, isn't that right?” Margaret says, passing along a basket of rolls. 

Eddie nods. “Yes, Chris, he's 14.” 

“How’s he doing, by the way? He’s in, what, eighth grade now?” Maddie asks, fixing a plate for herself and Jee. 

“How come Chris didn’t come?” Jee pouts, putting on her best puppy dog eyes for Eddie. 

Eddie chuckles, shaking his head. “Yeah, eighth grade. Time is going so fast, it’s hard to believe that in just a few months he’ll be in high school. Chris couldn’t come with us because he has a science camp this week,” Eddie explains and Jee crosses her arms over her chest with a huff. “But, he misses you so much , he asked me to set up a playdate with you for when we go back home.” Jee smiles so big that Buck can count her teeth from across the table. 

“Must be hard to manage being a single dad with a teenage boy and being a firefighter,” Philip comments. 

Eddie shrugs. “It definitely has moments where it has been hard, but overall? I have a lot of help,” he says with a smile at Buck, knocking their knees together under the table. 

Margaret’s face scrunches like she just ate something sour. “Oh. So helping this friend is what you've been doing with your time instead of trying to find a wife, is that right, Evan?” 

Buck feels anxiety start to work its way up his throat. He feels Eddie’s hand land on his thigh, squeezing gently. Buck takes a deep breath, borrowing strength from Eddie, grounding himself using Eddie’s warm palm he can feel on his leg, even through his pants. “I-I’m bisexual, mom, so it would be husband or wife,” he says, trying not to be offended that she still hasn’t accepted that he’s bi. 

“Oh god, Evan, you're still on that? We were hoping you would have moved through that phase by now. How are you supposed to find a nice woman to settle down with if you're exploring with… with men?” Margaret hisses the last word like she can barely stand to say it out loud. 

“I don't need a nice woman to settle down with, mom. I have a great life. I love my job, I love my friends, I'm happy, isn't that enough?” Buck asks, pushing his plate away, appetite disappearing. Eddie’s hand tightens on his thigh, fingers digging into the muscle, not painfully, but enough that Buck can tell Eddie is getting frustrated and is holding himself back. 

“Of course that’s enough, Evan. You being happy is always what matters the most,” Maddie says, shooting their parents a look that says to knock it off. 

“No, Maddie, it's not enough. Evan, this isn't the life you're supposed to have! You’ve been doing everything wrong . You ran away as soon as you turned eighteen, and you’ve been making piss poor choices ever since. You work a dangerous and reckless job where you get hurt more often than not. You're supposed to have a wife, a kid, and a nice, successful, safe career! I don't know where we went wrong, I don't understand why you don't get it, why you try so hard to do just exactly the opposite of what your life should be. You’re alone Evan, you always have been, and it looks like you always will be,” Margaret huffs. 

Eddie's hand squeezes Buck’s thigh again, and Buck looks over at him. Eddie is staring, or rather, glaring, straight at Margaret, jaw clenched tight. He can tell Eddie is pissed. Buck’s breath starts to come heavier, quicker, anxiety clawing at his chest and throat. When Eddie’s eyes meet Buck’s, he can see the fire and anger swirling there. He sees something he doesn’t recognize in Eddie’s eyes, which gives him about a two second head start to knowing that Eddie was up to something. And he was right because the next thing out of Eddie’s mouth has his jaw dropping. 

“He’s not alone. We didn't really want to tell anyone because we didn't want to take attention off the wedding coming up, but Buck and I are dating. And it's serious.” 

Chapter Text

After Eddie’s words break the air, there is a beat of silence before they process what Eddie just said. Chim starts coughing so hard he has to stand up from the table. Maddie’s jaw is dropped open with a smile, eyes wide and excited, but confused, as she looks between Buck and Eddie. Philip’s fork is frozen halfway to his mouth with his eyes on Buck, anger blazing in them. Margaret has her mouth clenched tight, face turning an alarming shade of red. 

And Buck? Buck feels like the world just disappeared under his feet. His brain feels like it’s short-circuiting, and he can’t make sense of which way is up or which way is down – he feels like the only thing still tethering him down to earth is Eddie’s palm, which is still resting on his leg. His ears are ringing and his stomach drops in surprise as Eddie’s words register. Buck and I are dating. And it’s serious. 

For a brief, ridiculous, embarrassing moment, Buck wonders if he missed something between them. Were they dating? With the car, and what happened upstairs, Buck has a fleeting moment of panic that maybe he misread what was happening and maybe he is dating Eddie without even realizing it. That thought makes him sick to his stomach, guilt eating at him, until he remembers – Eddie’s straight. Which means he’s just saying this to get his parents off his back.

He feels his stomach sink for an entirely different reason – disappointment, he recognizes, but disappointed with what, he isn’t sure. He doesn’t have time to process before he gets pulled back into the present moment by Chimney pulling his chair back out and rejoining them at the table. 

Eddie feels strangely…calm? He has a bit of anxiety that Buck is going to be mad at him for pulling this stunt. Obviously, they didn't talk about this, it wasn’t the plan, and they aren’t seriously dating. But the words slipped out of Eddie’s mouth before he could think about it, and even if he had, he would have done the same thing. He had felt his anger rising since the moment the Buckley parents had ignored Buck on their front porch after seeing him for the first time in two years. That had made him angry on its own, but that combined with his childhood bedroom – ridiculously plain and drab when compared to the other two rooms upstairs – along with the way they have been talking to Buck this entire dinner? Eddie couldn’t keep it in any more. 

The only time he even got mad at his own parents, after all the shit they put him through, was when they tried to tell him that Buck wasn’t a good influence to have around Chris. It was the biggest fight they had ever had. Ramon had told him that Buck’s “issues” might rub off on Chris, and that they might need to step in to raise Chris if Eddie was going to keep Buck around. Eddie had lost it – told them that Buck being bisexual wasn’t an issue, and that nobody in the whole world loved Christopher like he and Buck did. He had almost let it slip that Buck was in his will as Chris' legal guardian, but he didn’t want to make an already bad situation even worse. Eventually, they backed off, and Eddie has held them at arm’s length ever since, never letting them get too close. 

He doesn’t get angry very easily – hardly ever, in fact, even when it is probably warranted, like when Christopher cracked a brand new 65 inch TV approximately two hours after setting it up. He prides himself in having an even temper. But spending just a few hours with Philip and Margaret, listening to the way they talk to his Buck, had him losing his cool, and he needed to do something. 

Buck’s eyes are trained on Eddie, wide and confused, and Eddie is gazing back at him, fondness and some anxiety written across his face. 

“You’re what?” Margaret shrieks. 

Buck, still looking at Eddie, opens his mouth to respond, probably to choke out a laugh and wave it off as a joke, but Eddie beats him to it, won’t let him subject himself to their scrutiny anymore. Eddie slides his hand into Buck’s and brings them up onto the table, squeezing gently and giving Buck a little nod. 

“We’re dating,” Eddie says simply, swinging his head around to look at Margaret, defiance blazing in his eyes. 

“N-No, you are not,” Philip sputters. 

“Wait, when did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?” Maddie asks, focusing on Buck. 

“Mommy, what does dating mean?” Jee asks, tugging on Maddie’s sleeve. 

“Jee, why don’t you help me get dessert ready?” Chim asks, sharing a look with Maddie. 

“But I haven’t even finished dinner!”

“Are you saying you don’t want ice cream right now?” 

“Ice cream! Okay, I’m all done!” Jee says pushing away from the table and bouncing back into the kitchen. Chim follows behind her but turns around at the doorway, giving Buck and Eddie a thumbs up for support, a confused look still on his face. 

Buck takes a deep breath, trying to get his bearings. He feels like his head is fucking reeling, like he’s in the ocean and the waves keep crashing over him with no break. He doesn’t have time to process how he feels just yet because everyone is looking at him for an answer, and he has to say something. 

"You wanted me to find someone, well, I found him. I won't hide my relationship, so if you want me to just go home, you can explain why to all your little friends," he says, pushing his chair back from the table as he prepares to stand, but he's stopped by Margaret. 

"Wait! No, don't-don't go. But you can't stay here – there's a hotel down the street, you can stay there – and there's going to be some ground rules when you're out in public," she says, smoothing a hand over her hair and looking with wild eyes between Buck, Maddie and Philip. 

Buck turns to look at Eddie and sees nothing but support in his eyes. He knows that Eddie will stick this out with him, if that's what he wants, or he will go grab their bags and throw them in the car to hightail it out of there as soon as Buck asks him to. Knowing he has Eddie in this with him, no matter what he chooses, strengthens his resolve, and Eddie's soft squeeze on his hand solidifies his decision. He's not going to run, not from this place, not from them – not this time. 

"O-Okay. Let's hear them," Buck says, trying to keep his voice steady, gripping Eddie's hand like a lifeline – because that's exactly what it is. He feels an intense wave of gratitude that Eddie is here with him, and subconsciously shifts closer so their shoulders are pressed together, leaning on him physically just like he is emotionally. 

"There will be no obscene PDA. Enough to show you're together, and that's it. You'll tell everyone how supportive we've been of you and how happy we are for you and Eddie. You'll talk about how great we've been with...what's his name? Chris? Talk about how we can't wait to meet him. You won't tell anyone where you're staying. Got it?" she says, staring Buck down from across the table. At the mention of Chris' name, him and Eddie both squeezed their hands, now holding onto each other tightly, grounding each other. Eddie leans further into Buck's shoulder, using him as support now. 

Buck's mouth is so dry all he can do is nod. He thinks that it's over until she pins her gaze on Eddie. 

"And you...you are not to call him Buck," she spits his name like it's poisonous. All the other rules make sense, make them look good in front of their friends. But that one? That rule is just to spite Buck and he feels it like a punch in the fucking gut. The only time Eddie has ever called him Evan was when he was telling him about the will. Everyone who knows him calls him Buck. Evan is who his parents want him to be. Buck is who he is. 

Buck glances over at Eddie and sees a blank face. Eddie has a perfectly curated neutral expression, and if Buck wasn't explicitly searching for it, he never would have noticed the way his jaw clenches or how the skin around his eyes tightens. Eddie’s pissed, he’s just holding it together. 

"Fine," is all he says in return. 

Margaret raises her eyebrows and looks back to Buck expectantly. 

"Fine. What all do we have to do this week?" he asks warily. 

Margaret smiles, satisfied. Philip clears his throat. 

"We have a birthday party, a retirement party, the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, and, of course, the morning after brunch," Philip says. 

"Right, of course," Buck says, trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Based on the look on his parents' faces, he did not succeed. "Well, just text me a list of when and where I'm supposed to be. Otherwise, I think we're done here. Better go check into our new hotel," Buck says, releasing Eddie's hand and standing. 

His movement makes Maddie unfreeze from where she sat watching this all unfold with eyes round and filled with tears. 

"Buck, no, that's ridiculous, you don't need to stay at a hotel, mom, dad, come on" she says, standing as well and walking around the table to grip onto Buck's arm. 

"Don't, Mads, it's fine. Really," he says, looking down at her and pleading with his eyes for her to drop it. 

"I'll go grab our stuff?" Eddie says, placing a hand on Buck's shoulder and searching Buck's eyes. 

Buck offers a small nod and smile. "Yeah, thanks."

Eddie nods back and navigates through the house to the kitchen. 

Maddie tugs on Buck's arm, yanking him to the front door. "We'll be right back," she yells over her shoulder as she slams the door behind them once they get onto the porch. 

She whirls on Buck, a storm of emotions on her face. She opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out. Instead, she flings herself against his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him. His arms wrap around her back and he chuckles. 

"Maddie, really, I'm okay." 

"I love you so much, Buck, you know that, right? I know I don't say it enough, but you --"

Buck cuts her off with another light laugh. "Yes, Mads, I know. And I love you, too. But really, it's fine. Honestly, it's probably better this way. The less interacting I have to do with them the better. Besides, it's not like I'm going to be alone," he says, shrugging. 

"Yeah, about that," she says, pulling out of his grasp and hitting him across the chest with the back of her hand, making him laugh.

"What the hell, Maddie?" he says, still giggling and rubbing his chest. 

"Why didn't you tell me about you and Eddie? When did you plan that? I thought Eddie is straight," she hisses, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. 

He opens his mouth to tell her that they didn’t plan it, that Eddie was just trying to help out, get their parents off his back, that Eddie is straight – but before he can, the front door swings open to reveal a crying Jee-Yun being held by a frazzled Chimney. 

Maddie turns to reach out for her immediately. 

"Oh, Jee, what happened?" she asks softly. 

Jee bats her hands away. "I don't want you mommy, I want Uncle Buck," she whines. 

Buck's eyebrows hit his hairline and Maddie takes a step to the side to allow Jee to fall into Buck's arms. She snuggles her wet face in the crook of his neck. 

"What's the matter, Jee?" he asks, concerned. 

"We were supposed to have a sleepover all week but Uncle Eddie said he's going to pack up your stuff which means you're leaving," Jee wails through sobs. 

Buck feels like his heart is being ripped from his chest at the sound of her cries and he silently curses his parents for causing this. Buck rubs comforting circles on her back and bounces slightly. 

"Uncle Eddie and I will still be with you all week, Jee, but you're right, we won't be having sleepovers. How about this," he says, leaning back so he can look at Jee's wide, wet eyes. “When we get back home, you can come spend a whole week with me, and we will have our sleepovers,” he offers. 

Maddie and Chim look at each other with a mix of surprise and excitement, and Buck has to swallow his laugh. 

Eddie quietly opens the front door and slips out with their bags, Buck’s back to him, Jee looking at him over Buck’s shoulder. 

Jee sighs dramatically. “But what about Uncle Eddie?” she wails.

Eddie smiles and his heart glows – he loves this kid so much, and doesn’t care at all that they aren’t technically related. He would give her the moon if she asked. 

“Well, maybe we can stay with him and Chris for a few nights. Don’t tell him I said this, but,” Buck says, lowering his voice to a loud whisper, “my favorite sleepovers are the ones that happen at his house.” 

Jee breaks into giggles. “I don’t have to tell him, you just did,” Jee squeals, pointing over Buck’s shoulder. Buck turns around and sees Eddie standing there, smiling, cheeks flushed. 

“We can have as many sleepovers as you want when we get home. Chris will be even more excited than you!” Eddie says, reaching a hand out and poking Jee’s side, making her laugh in Buck’s arms. 

“Okay, okay, fine. But, I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” she asks, looking up at Buck with puppy dog eyes and a pouted lip.

“Yes, princess, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Buck confirms, nodding. Jee wraps her arms around Buck’s neck, squeezing tightly. He squeezes her back, giving her a big bear hug. Then, she’s flinging herself across the small gap toward Eddie. Buck holds onto her as best he can, but Eddie has quick reflexes and catches her easily. He gets his own hug from Jee and flips her upside down, walking her into the front yard with her legs slung over one shoulder, laugher loud and bright. 

Buck turns to Maddie and Chim who have been watching the whole exchange with an unreadable expression on their faces. 

“I’m sure Maddie will fill me in on everything, but a hotel? Buck, you okay?” Chim asks, looking at Buck with a concerned expression. Sometimes Buck forgets that his favorite co-worker to poke fun of and annoy is actually also his thoughtful and caring brother-in-law. Buck smiles, feeling the support of both Maddie and Chimney strengthening his resolve to get through this week as easily and smoothly as possible. 

He nods. “I’m good. Seriously. Text me schedule, yeah?” he asks, looking at Maddie. She agrees, so he turns to the bags Eddie brought out with him and scoops them into his arms, heading towards the car as Eddie and Jee finish up their goodbyes. Maddie follows him around to the trunk, needing one last private moment. 

“Can we talk tomorrow? I have a lot of questions,” she says, eyeing him like she’s trying to read his mind, see what’s hidden there. 

“Yeah, of course. We’ll probably be back in the morning,” he says, understanding why she wants to talk to him. 

He finishes loading up the bags and closes the trunk. Maddie places a hand on his arm, waiting for him to look at her. “Be careful, Buck,” is all she says. 

Before he caan ask what that means, Eddie appears around the side of the car, Jee still in his arms, upright again, reaching out for Maddie. Eddie places a kiss on the side of her head and hands her off, wrapping an arm around Maddie in the process to give her a hug goodbye. Eddie snakes his hand out and snags the keys from Buck’s grasp. 

Buck is so tired and in his own brain that he doesn’t even argue about who is driving, allowing Eddie to take the keys easily, giving control over to him. 

Maddie walks with Jee back up to the porch and the three Buckley-Hans watch as Eddie and Buck get into the car – Eddie in the driver’s seat and Buck in the passenger seat for one of the few times in the eight years they have known each other – and wave as they turn to head back inside. 

Buck and Eddie both close their doors, and Eddie turns the car on, but doesn’t move to put it in reverse. Instead, he leans back against his door, turning to look at Buck.  

“Buck, I am so sorry, I had no idea that would happen. If I had known, I never would have said anything. I was supposed to be here to help you and support you this week and I couldn’t even do that right. You should go in there and tell them that it was all fake and–” 

Buck cuts him off. “No!” he says, probably a bit too forcefully. The thought of going back in there, period, makes him feel sick to his stomach, but the thought of going in there and telling them that he actually isn’t dating Eddie makes him want to be swallowed whole by the earth right now. 

“Don’t, Eddie, really, it’s fine. I know you were just trying to help, a-and you did,” Buck says, trying to wave away Eddie’s worries. 

Eddie shakes his head, anxiety starting to ramp up once he starts to realize what he just did. “Help? Buck, I did not help, I just got you kicked out, I mean, no, come on, we have to go tell them,” he says, shifting in his seat so he can get a grip on the door handle. Buck reaches out and grabs onto the arm closest to him, making Eddie pause. 

“This isn’t the first time they’ve kicked me out, probably won’t be the last. Seriously, Eddie, the last thing I want to do is go back in there and tell them about all this. Can…” he trails off, biting his bottom lip, thinking. “Will you be my boyfriend? For the week? Please? I mean I know you’re straight and all and it’ll probably be uncomfortable for you, especially because we’ll be around my family most of the time, and well, as you can see they aren’t the most accepting of people,” Buck rambles, vulnerability and hesitancy etched into the sound of his voice. Eddie can feel Buck’s fingers shaking where they rest on his arm. 

Eddie immediately lets go of the car door and rests his hand over Buck’s. “I’d do anything for you, Buck. I’d date you forever if that’s what it took. This week is going to be fine. Besides, I’m with you, how bad can it be?” Eddie says, squeezing Buck’s hand, and then moving to buckle in, and Buck does the same. 

They ride to the hotel in comfortable silence, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. The Buckley’s were right about one thing, it isn’t that far, and it’s actually kind of nice. That is, until they go to book a room. 

“I’m so sorry, there’s a convention in town this weekend. The only room we have available is a single queen,” the front desk agent says, clicking away on his computer. 

Buck and Eddie look at each other, and Buck turns back, leaning in slightly over the counter. “Are-are you sure you don’t have anything with, like, a pull-out couch? Or, like, a cot?” he asks. 

The agent shakes his head, looking at him sympathetically. “No, sorry. That queen is the last room we have available. There’s another place, about fifteen minutes from here, you could try going over there?” he suggests. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Buck says, slinging his bag higher up on his shoulder, patting the counter twice before he moves to walk away. He has fully turned from the counter when he hears Eddie’s voice. 

“We’ll take it.” 

Buck whips around to look at him, and sees him handing the desk agent his credit card with a smile. 

“No, Eddie, seriously, we can go look somewhere else, we don’t need to–”

“Buck. Don’t be ridiculous. We’re dating, come on, we can share a bed,” Eddie says, so casually that it actually takes Buck a beat to process the words. We’re dating. The words send a shock to Buck’s system, one that he wasn’t expecting. 

Hearing those words out of Eddie’s mouth about him? It has him feeling a certain way, but he is finding it impossible to identify. His hands are fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt, unable to be still. His brain is still swirling, and his mouth opens to protest, but Eddie reaches out, threading their fingers together, giving Buck’s hand a little squeeze. 

Buck doesn’t even question the fact that Eddie is holding his hand in the middle of the hotel right now, and he lets the touch ground him, as it always does, and he feels his mind and body both settle. Eddie finishes up with the front desk guy as Buck just stands there, zoned out, letting Eddie figure it out on his own. Eddie grabs the key off the counter and tugs on Buck’s hand, leading him down the hallway to the elevator. It isn’t until they’re opening the door and trying to get their bags inside that Eddie has to let go of Buck’s hand, and he instantly feels the loss of warmth and connection. 

They toss their bags on the desk of the hotel room, and both turn to look at the bed. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor, let me just grab some pillows and see if there’s an extra blanket in here,” Buck says, turning to the little wardrobe tucked in the corner of the room, scanning the area for a blanket. He finds one, and picks it up, spinning around with a triumphant grin on his face. 

When he looks at Eddie, though, the smile slides right off. Eddie’s looking at him with his eyebrows scrunched, a small frown on his face. Buck feels guilt creep into his gut – he doesn’t know exactly what he did, but he knows he put that look on his face, and he doesn’t like it. 

Eddie crosses the room and stands in front of him, reaching out and gently pulling the blanket from his hands and tossing it on top of the luggage. 

“You’ve been cramped in an airplane seat and the back seat all morning, and I know that the painkillers didn’t help you feel better. You just had a fight with your family and they kicked you out. You are not sleeping on the floor,” Eddie says, searching Buck’s eyes. 

“It would not be fair of me to ask you to sleep on the floor, Eddie, come on,” Buck pleads. 

“I’m not sleeping on the floor either. I’m too old for that shit, and so are you. Come on, man, we can just share,” Eddie says, shrugging one shoulder up. 

Buck swallows thickly. “Right. Share. Are you sure?” 

“Of course. Now go put on a pair of shorts and get on the bed,” Eddie says, turning to rummage in his bag for something. 

“Shorts?” Buck asks. 

“Yeah. Hurry up,” Eddie says, tossing a bottle of massage oil onto the bed. Buck’s eyes nearly bulge out of his fucking head. Eddie wants to not only share the bed, but wants to give him a fucking leg massage first? 

He has his hands out, palms up toward Eddie to put a barrier between them, mouth open with a refusal on his tongue, and Eddie stops him with a single look, eyebrow raised. 

He walks up to Buck, wrapping a hand around each wrist, and pulling Buck’s hands down to his sides, leaving his fingers flexed against Buck’s skin, using the contact as a point of encouragement. 

“Buck. It’s been a long day. Just put on your shorts and get on the bed,” Eddie says, firm but gentle at the same time. 

The argument is zapped out of Buck, desire to just listen to Eddie overtaking him. There’s just one problem. 

“I, uh, I don’t have shorts,” Buck mumbles, breaking eye contact. 

“That’s fine, just take your pants off and lay down,” Eddie suggests, and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands, leaving Buck gaping behind him. He reluctantly strips out of his pants, leaving his shirt, boxers, and socks on, and laying down on his back on the left side of the bed. He leans back on the pillows, crossing his arms over his chest, equal parts embarrassed, frustrated and grateful. 

He could not be more relieved that Eddie is here with him, and that he cares so much about him. But he is so embarrassed about how his parents acted, how they are treating the both of them. Embarrassed that Eddie is seeing where he came from. And lastly he’s feeling frustrated with himself. Frustrated that Eddie is, once again, taking care of him this week, offering to give him a massage, when he has done nothing but make things difficult and put Eddie out. 

He huffs, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, getting ready to stand, feeling like he doesn’t even deserve this act of kindness, and is ready to pull his pants back on when Eddie comes out of the bathroom. Buck’s mind goes entirely blank as he looks at Eddie. He’s standing in front of him in a pair of boxers – just a pair of boxers. 

“Where are you going? Thought I told you to lay down,” Eddie reminds him, voice low. 

“I, uh, this-this is ridiculous, Eddie, you already are doing too much for me, you don’t have to massage my leg too.”

“You think I want you rolling around in pain all night when we’re sharing a bed?” Eddie asks, giving him an amused look. “Besides, I want to. Now, lay down,” he says, eyes softening as he looks at Buck. 

Buck’s mouth is open to argue, as it often is, when Eddie places a hand on his chest slowly pushing him until his back is flat. Eddie’s mind immediately thinks about how they were in this situation only a few hours earlier, and he has to fight the urge to climb onto Buck’s lap. By the flush in Buck’s cheeks, he’s also remembering, and that has sparks flying across Eddie’s skin. 

Eddie squats down and grabs Buck’s ankles, swinging them onto the bed. Then he walks around the edge of the bed and sits down criss-cross at Buck’s feet, making sure the oil is within reach. He pulls Buck’s leg into his lap, scooching forward a little bit so he is more comfortable. He slides one finger into Buck’s sock, and peels it off his foot slowly, and then lets Buck’s foot rest against his legs. 

Eddie dutifully ignores the way Buck’s heel brushes against his cock with the way his leg is situated in his lap right now, and Buck ignores the way he can feel Eddie start to thicken through his boxers. Eddie opens the cap on the oil and pours some into his palm, rubbing his hands together until they are coated and slick. 

He starts with Buck’s foot, digging his thumbs into the arch of his foot, Buck’s head falling back against the pillows with a muffled groan. Eddie ignores the sound, pretends it doesn’t affect him, continuing with his work on Buck. 

He works his way up to Buck’s ankle, and then lower calf. Buck’s hands are twisted in the sheets, bottom lip caught between his teeth to stifle his moans, most of which slip out anyways. Eddie hits a particularly tight knot in Buck’s leg and it causes him to jerk in his lap. Buck’s foot rubs against the bulge in Eddie’s boxers, and they both let out a quiet groan at the sensation. Eddie looks up for the first time and sees Buck tenting his boxers, and heat rushes to his stomach. 

Eddie continues working his fingers into Buck’s tense muscle. Buck starts flexing his foot slightly, rubbing it against Eddie where he is straining against his cotton material, leaking enough to leave a wet patch buck can feel with his heel. Eddie ignores it, focusing on how to help make Buck feel better, focusing on the way his leg muscles tense and relax under his fingers. 

Buck tries to resist, he really and truly does, but he can’t help it, his foot moving against Eddie of his own accord. Feeling Eddie’s stiffness under him, and the way Eddie’s hands work masterfully against his tight and aching muscles has him stiffening in his own boxers. He looks down and it is painfully obvious he’s hard because his boxers are tenting obscenely. There’s nothing he can do to hide it, and he just hopes that Eddie’s eyes stay on his leg and he won’t notice. 

Buck’s biting into his bottom lip to muffle his nosies so hard he’s surprised he doesn’t taste blood. He knows that as soon as the groans escape his lips, it’s over. Giving a massage to your best friend in your underwear is one thing, but giving a massage to your best friend in your underwear while he’s moaning is entirely different. 

Eddie is so focused, incredibly focused, until one particularly dirty moan has him looking up at Buck again. Buck’s head is thrown back against the pillows, eyes shut tight, one hand by his hip, fist gripping the sheets, and the other is next to his head, clinging onto the pillow. His pink lips are parted, and he’s breathing heavily. Eddie watches as Buck starts to pant as Eddie works his way up to Buck’s thigh, kneading into the thick muscle. Eddie’s eyes trail down Buck’s chest and snag on the way he is straining against his boxers. 

Eddie smirks smugly, sense of pride growing in his chest at making Buck feel that way, at being the reason Buck’s hard. Eddie pauses, grabbing more oil and rubbing it over Buck’s thigh. Eddie moves, sitting up on his knees, stradling Buck’s leg now in order to have better leverage to work Buck’s thigh, eyes flicking between his clothed cock and the way he tries to mask the pleasure he’s feeling by biting at his plush, pink lip. 

Eddie’s hands work swiftly and gently, working from the outside of the thigh, inward. Once he has two hands on the inside of Buck’s thigh, he feels certain Buck is going to start hyperventilating. 

“Breathe, Buck,” he murmurs, forcing his eyes back to his hands. Eddie hears air being sucked in Buck’s lungs, and smiles when he hears Buck’s shaky exhale. Eddie decides to test the waters a little bit, seeing as how they are already here, kind of wanting to see how far he can push Buck. 

Eddie rubs his inner thigh, two fingers slipping under Buck’s boxers as he works, and he hears Buck’s sharp intake of air. He doesn’t continue further into Buck’s boxers, but he doesn’t take his fingers out, either, letting them linger and play with the fabric there. 

Eddie’s hands slow, turning a bit more sensual. “I could help take care of that, you know,” he says, voice just above a whisper. 

Buck’s head lifts quickly, eyes snapping open, immediately landing on Eddie. “What?” he asks, voice raspy, throat dry. 

Eddie lifts his head, looking pointedly at Buck’s eyes. “I could help take care of that, if you want,” he repeats, gaze dipping down Buck’s neck, chest, and torso, snagging on the definitive shape of his cock in his boxers and staying there a beat too long. 

Buck’s cheeks are blazing, embarrassment and shame creeping in. He cannot believe he got hard because his best friend is massaging his leg, and he absolutely cannot believe that said best friend just offered to help him with it. Although, that can’t possibly mean what he thinks it means, Eddie must not know how that sounds, he has to be talking about something else. 

Buck’s mouth opens and closes a few times, but no words come out. His eyes are wide and trained on Eddie. Eddie’s looking back at him, stable, sure, open, warm brown gaze grounding him as Eddie’s hands continue to gently rub on Buck’s inner thighs. Buck clears his throat, hoping that will help the words to unstick from his throat. 

“You, um, you…what?” he asks again, certain that he is mishearing or misunderstanding what Eddie is offering. 

Eddie’s lips twitch, wanting to tug into a smile, but he holds it back, wanting Buck to know he’s serious, that it’s not a joke. 

“Listen, I know you haven’t been with anyone since…” Eddie trails off, waving a hand, not wanting to say Tommy’s name out loud. “I’m here, we’re dating, I mean…why not?” Eddie shrugs, casually. 

However, inside, he feels anything but casual. He wants this, wants Buck to say yes more than he has wanted anything in his life, but he couldn’t put his finger on why. He feels like he’s on the precipice of something, something that hinges on Buck saying yes at this very moment, but he doesn’t know what. 

A small voice in the back of his mind tells him to stop – that what he’s doing is crossing a boundary, ringing a bell that cannot be unrung. The voice tells him that he’s putting his friendship with Buck at risk, that he shouldn’t be doing this. He doesn’t even know why the offer slipped out of his mouth, it just did, almost like his subconscious took over. This was yet another moment on this trip where Eddie felt like he had no control, like his body and brain are disconnected, bodily instincts taking over, leaving his brain scrambling to catch up. 

“Why not? Why-why not? Seriously? Eddie, I-I would never ask you– you’re straight! I don’t even–I am so sorry, I didn’t mean–oh, god,” Buck rambles, rubbing his hands down his face, trying to evaporate or beg the universe to swallow him whole where he lays. 

“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” Eddie says slowly. “Besides, we’re dating, we need to be comfortable with each other. What better way to learn.” 

“Yeah, but Eddie, it’s fake,” Buck says, voice weak. Eddie’s hand under the hem of Buck’s boxers creeps up, fingers trailing against Buck’s skin lightly, pushing the fabric up with it. 

“Doesn’t matter. We’re friends, we’re fake dating, it’s not a big deal. None of this matters if nobody believes it. Have to make it look real, feel real, right? Gotta practice. Come on, tell me that you don’t want it,” Eddie taunts. 

Buck opens his mouth, but no sound comes out, and he turns his head, looking away, cheeks burning hot. He can’t say anything because he does want it, and they both know it, the very evidence of it staring them both in the face. He has been so obnoxiously horny today there's no world in which he doesn't want it. Eddie finally lets his smile free, loving the way he feels knowing that he put that blush there. He wants to do it again and again and again. 

“What do you want, Buck?” 

Buck’s eyes snap open, immediately seeking out Eddie’s. “Wh-What?” 

“What do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you,” Eddie says, eyes darkening, lust blazing in them as he looks Buck over from head to toe where he lays down. 

“‘S not about what I want, Eddie,” Buck mumbles. 

Eddie shakes his head. “It’s all about what you want, Buck. But you need to say it.” 

“I want…Eddie, can I–” he cuts off, swallowing thickly, eyes looking at Eddie pleadingly. 

“Words, Buck, c’mon.”

Buck’s head falls back against the pillow. “You know what I want, Eddie,” he whines. The sound makes Eddie’s cock twitch against Buck’s foot, which has Buck’s hands tightening in the sheets again. 

“Need to hear you say it.”

“Eddie, I–I want to…can I suck your dick?” he asks, tongue swiping across his lips, nearly salivating at just the thought. 

Eddie’s head lolls back, grunt punched from his gut at hearing those words come from Buck’s lips. 

“Buck, I’m supposed to be helping you,” Eddie says. 

“It-it will! I want you in my mouth, Eddie, please, please can I?” Buck says, pushing himself up on his elbows to be able to look at Eddie better. Eddie sees desperation written into every line on Buck’s face, so he nods his head. 

“Yes, yeah, fuck, yeah. Stand up,” Eddie says, shimmying backwards off the bed and standing himself. 

Buck’s legs swing over the edge of the bed and he stands, and then…freezes. Eddie watches him and Buck doesn’t move, looking at Eddie with desperate eyes. Eddie is confused for a minute until he realizes that Buck is waiting for instructions. Eddie only told Buck to stand, so Buck only stood. He feels a rush of adrenaline go to his head so fast he’s lightheaded. The fact that Buck is waiting for Eddie, waiting to do exactly what he says, what he wants? It sends lightning through his veins in a way he has never felt before. 

“What are you doing?” Eddie says, slowly maneuvering so he is standing directly in front of Buck. 

Buck fidgets with the hem of his shirt, eyes darting around, landing and settling on Eddie’s eyes. 

“Well, um, you said to stand, so I–I did,” Buck says, looking nervous. 

“And now you’re…?” Eddie trails off, needing to hear Buck say it, needing to hear the words. 

“W-waiting,” Buck whispers. 

“For?”

Buck licks his lips, mouth suddenly extremely dry. “Um, you.”

“Want me to tell you what to do, Buck?” Eddie asks, standing so close to Buck he can feel the heat radiating from Eddie’s skin, nearly touching, but not quite. Eddie’s breath lands on Buck’s lips, and Buck huffs it greedily, wanting anything that Eddie is willing to give. His own breath is coming in sharp, short pants, the need becoming overwhelming. He’s twitching, leaking and aching in his boxers, skin on fire. 

Buck is nodding nearly uncontrollably, needing to know what to do to make Eddie feel good, needing direction, needing to know what is expected of him so he can prove himself. 

When he can finally focus enough to notice, he can see that Eddie isn’t handling it much better, his own breath coming heavy, eyes burning. Buck looks between the small gap between their bodies and sees Eddie’s own erection fighting to break out of his boxers, large wet spot smack in the center. Buck grins at that, feels a sense of pride roll over him that he can do this to Eddie. 

He drags his eyes back up to Eddie, feeling like he might die if Eddie doesn’t touch him right now. Buck can’t help it. He rocks his hips forward just the smallest amount, eyes rolling back in his head as his cock comes into contact with Eddie’s, his moan sending shivers over Buck’s skin. Eddie’s hips jerk back, and Buck’s chase them, but to no avail. 

“Nuh-uh, not yet. Wanna be a good boy, listen to every word I say?” Eddie says, voice raspy. Buck’s knees buckle and he nearly fucking collapses right in front of Eddie. Eddie reaches out and grips Buck’s hips, pulling Buck to his chest, keeping him steady, whole bodies flush and touching now. 

Clearly Buck liked that, but Eddie needs him to say it, needs to be the one to make him say it. He rolls his hips slowly against Buck, reveling in the way they grind together, the friction fucking delectable. Buck whimpers, their lips so close to touching Eddie can almost taste it. 

“What do you think, Buck? Can you be good for me?” 

Buck bites into his bottom lip, groan caught in his chest, the vibrations buzzing against Eddie’s chest as well. “Mmhm, yeah, yes, Eddie, please, I-I’ll be a good boy for you, I swear,” he says, nodding adimatley. 

Eddie releases Buck’s hips and steps back, and he feels the loss immediately, already wanting Eddie to be up close in his space again. Eddie plops down on the edge of the bed, feet planted firmly on the floor, leaning back on one palm, the other reaching down and cupping himself. Buck watches with his jaw dropped as Eddie gives himself a squeeze and then starts to stroke himself through his boxers.  

“Strip,” Eddie says, looking up at Buck hungrily. “Slowly.” 

Buck flushes, embarrassed to be put on the spot like this, but reveling in it at the same time. He is already mostly naked, he only has one sock, his boxers and his shirt still on. He starts with the sock, leaning down and ripping it off. 

He hears Eddie literally tsk at him. “Now, Buck, was that very slow? C’mon, man, make it hot. Turn me on,” Eddie says, smirking. 

“Think you’re already turned on,” Buck huffs, looking pointedly at Eddie still pumping himself through his underwear. Eddie looks up at him with a raised eyebrow, the same look he gets when he comes across a challenge he finds interesting. Buck hustles along, gripping the edge of his t-shirt and slowly pulling the material up his chest with one hand, his free hand wandering the expanse of skin being revealed, flitting lightly across his abdomen and then chest. 

Buck closes his eyes, head tipping back as he holds his shirt up to his neck with one hand and starts to play with his nipple with the other. He tugs and pinches at it until it peaks, and then he takes it between his thumb and forefinger and twists, a moan leaving his lips that he hears echoed by Eddie which makes a grin break out across his face. He tips his head back down, opening his eyes to look at Eddie as he switches his attention to his other nipple. 

Buck’s pupils are so blown that there’s barely any blue left, and Eddie is sure he looks the same. Eddie squeezes himself around the base, feeling tingles shooting up his spine. Watching Buck play with his nipples is making him salivate, drool pooling in his mouth. Eddie feels an ache in his teeth, and he realizes he wants to bite Buck, needs to get his teeth on him. 

Eddie reaches his hand out, snagging a finger in the waistband of Buck’s boxers, pulling him closer so Eddie can reach. Buck finally slips his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor somewhere behind him without looking. 

Eddie straightens where he is sitting on the bed, leans forwards, and captures Buck’s nipple in between his teeth, tugging gently. Buck huffs out a hot breath of air that hits Eddie on the back of the neck, urging him on. One of Buck’s hands lands on Eddie’s shoulder and the other threads through his hair, not pushing or pulling, just grounding himself in the feel of Eddie. 

Eddie’s mouth closes around his nipple, tongue swirling, and then he sucks on it hard, making Buck whimper and his fingers tighten in his hair. Eddie starts to kiss the skin on Buck’s chest, sucking and biting marks across his tits. He can’t help himself – he closes his eyes and loses himself in the sensation of Buck’s skin between his teeth, the soft, hurt noises falling from Buck’s lips, the way his boxers create delicious friction as he still strokes himself. He’s sucking a mark on Buck’s left tit, biting and soothing the sting with his tongue. Eddie reaches up with one hand and rolls the other nipple between his fingers. 

“Eddie,” Buck breathes, voice raw. 

Eddie pulls back, eyes opening for the first time in what was probably minutes, seeing his work for the first time. There are red and purple marks littering Buck’s chest, and Eddie can see several defined teeth imprints. He smirks, tilting his head up to look at Buck. He looks absolutely wrecked, gaze heavy and hot, and they’ve barely even touched. Eddie loves that he is the one who made Buck look like this. 

“What do you need, Buck?” Eddie asks, voice coming out breathier than he intended. 

“Need you. Please,” Buck says, tugging gently on Eddie’s hair. 

“Mmm, a little more specific there, bud,” Eddie says, smiling as Buck lets out a frustrated groan, looking up at the ceiling. 

Eddie leans back on both hands and waits patiently as Buck finds the ability to formulate the words he wants. 

Buck’s eyes find his again, and the heat in them is intense. “I need to suck your dick. Like, now,” Buck says. 

“Is that how you ask?” 

Buck whimpers, looking at Eddie with wild eyes. His cock jumps in his boxers at Eddie’s words and the sight sends a spike of heat through Eddie’s gut. Buck likes being controlled like this, likes when Eddie is a little mean. That realization has desire pumping through Eddie’s veins in a way he’s never felt before, the need for Buck becoming overwhelming, unmanageable. 

“Eddie, please, I-I need to feel you, need-need you to come in my mouth, need it more than I need air, please, please can I suck you?” Buck begs, cheeks turning bright pink, fingers twitching at his sides as he holds himself back, resisting the urge to touch Eddie until he says it’s okay. Eddie groans, pushing the heel of his hand against his erection, chasing relief in whatever way he can get it. 

“Get on your knees,” Eddie says. The words have barely left his lips when Buck drops like a rock, knees hitting the floor with a dull thud. He scoots closer, wiggling his way between Eddie’s knees, looking up at him in awe, like he can’t believe this is really happening. Like if he makes one wrong move the spell will break. 

Wordlessly, Eddie lifts his hips and Buck reaches out to peed his boxers off for him. Once Eddie’s hardness is freed from its constraints, Buck’s mouth drops open. He’s seen Eddie naked before, sure, but never like this – never hard, flushed, leaking, never for him. Eddie is big and perfect and Buck’s speaking before he can even think.

“You’re so fucking pretty, Eds.” Buck watches as a bead of precome spurts from the tip at his words, and he leans in to lap at it. As soon as his tongue makes contact with Eddie’s skin, they both let out a loud groan. Buck wastes no time, gripping a hand around Eddie’s base to hold him steady, swallowing him down with one strategic bob of his head. Eddie’s head falls back and his eyes screw shut, guttural noise of pleasure escaping his lips that has Buck moaning around him. 

Eddie’s hand flies to Buck’s curls, not pushing or pulling, not controlling the pace – yet – but just feeling Buck beneath his fingertips, grounding him. Buck gives him no time to adjust, setting a frantic pace, wild groans vibrating around Eddie, driving him wild. 

“Jesus, Buck,” Eddie grunts out as Buck swallows around him. “Absolutely fucking desperate, aren’t you? Just couldn’t wait to get that pretty mouth around a cock, huh?” 

Buck nods as best as he can without compromising the rhythm he has, and his hand reaches up to dig his fingers in Eddie’s thigh. He closes his eyes, losing himself in the sensation of Eddie between his lips, against his tongue. Buck is fleetingly grateful that he is unable to speak for the moment, or he would be afraid of telling Eddie that it’s so much better when it’s Eddie in his mouth, when it’s Eddie’s voice in his ear, when it’s Eddie’s hand in his hair. Buck is dutifully ignoring that fact, choosing to believe he only feels that way because it is Eddie with him now. 

Buck takes all of Eddie into his mouth, nearly gagging at the intrusion, nose touching the skin at Eddie’s base. Eddie collapses back on the bed, one hand remaining in Buck’s curls, giving a little tug, the other hand propping up his head so he can still watch. 

Buck uses his grip on Eddie’s thigh to pull his legs further apart, needing to press his body closer, make as many points of contact between their skin as possible. Buck is so hard and so horny that he is already close to coming – just knowing that he’s making Eddie feel good – and he’s not even touching himself. He’s so hard it hurts, but Eddie’s pleasure is all-consuming, and Buck can’t think about anything but EddieEddieEddie. 

He can’t help but groan as images of sliding into Eddie flash across his eyelids. He shoves the images away, opening his eyes instead, looking up to check on Eddie – big mistake. The way Eddie is staring down at him, eyes hot and hooded, hungry, has him nearly coming on the spot. He refuses to come before Eddie, so he pops off, tucking away what little dignity he has left, ready to beg Eddie for the one thing he wants more than anything else right now. 

“Eddie, please I-I need more, ‘m so close,” he says, voice raw and cracking at the edges, both from having Eddie’s cock down his throat, but also because his every nerve ending is on fire in a way that he feels sure nobody in existence has ever experienced. His eyes are nearly watering with how bad he needs – needs to be touched, needs to come, needs Eddie. 

Eddie sits up at that. “You’re close?” he asks. Buck nods eagerly. 

“Buck, all you’ve done is suck my dick and you’re about to come?” He has to ask again because he just simply does not believe it. Evan Buckley, desperate, whiny, and about to come in his pants boxers right at Eddie’s feet – this might be the best day of Eddie’s life. Buck nods again, eyes pleading. 

“No,” Eddie says simply, shrugging. 

“Um, wh-what do you mean no?” 

“No, you're not coming. Not until I tell you that you’re allowed.” Buck’s eyes nearly roll back in his head at that, and his hips jerk, chasing fiction that isn’t there. Eddie smirks, loving this look on him, needing to see how far he can push him. When his eyes finally open again and focus back on Eddie, he can’t help but taunt him. 

“You really love sucking dick that much? Love having something in your mouth?”

Buck nods yet again, biting his lip. His eyes drop down to where Eddie is resting against his stomach again, wet and shiny with Buck’s spit. Buck wants to get his mouth back around him so badly, so he looks up at Eddie, question obvious on his face – can I start again? 

Eddie shakes his head no, and Buck feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He has a flash of panic tear through his lustful haze – Eddie is regretting this, Eddie wants to stop, Eddie doesn’t want him, Eddie is going to hate him now. The panic dissipates as he watches Eddie reach a hand down and start slowly stroking himself, keeping his eyes on Buck’s. 

Buck mirrors him, reaching a hand toward his own boxers, but stops in his tracks when Eddie shakes his head again. 

“P-Please, Eds, I’m dying here, I need–” 

“Oh, I know what you need, Buck. And you’ll get it, trust me,” Eddie says, voice deeper than Buck has ever heard before, which sends shivers up his spine. 

“But I–”

“Be honest with me, Buck. Did you jerk off in the shower earlier?” Bucks hips jerk again, and there’s no hiding his answer. It’s obvious in the way his cheeks flush and his eyes immediately go to the ground. He nods slowly, and Eddie huffs out a sharp breath. The fact that Buck was so turned on from earlier that he jerked off in the shower, right after Eddie did, lights yet another fire under Eddie’s skin, and he literally feels the heat radiating off of himself. 

Eddie doesn’t know why he keeps talking, why he won’t just let Buck keep sucking him off until they both come. He just feels the urge to push Buck’s buttons – he’s never gotten to see his best friend like this, and now that he has, he wants to savor every second, knowing that it will probably never happen again. Eddie ignores the feeling of disappointment that settles in his stomach at that thought, choosing, instead, to reveal information he knows will get Buck worked up.

“Me too.” 

Buck’s head whips up so fast it almost hurts. “Y-You…um, I-I know,” he stutters out. His cheeks darken further, and he shakes his head slightly as if he regrets letting those words slip out. Eddie’s hand slows where it’s still pumping himself, but he doesn’t stop. He’s surprised, not expecting Buck’s response to be I know. 

“What do you mean you know?”

“I-I…what? No, I-I didn’t know that.”

“Buck,” he says, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow at the man on the floor in front of him. 

“I licked your come off the shower wall,” he says, so fast that Eddie can barely decipher the sentence. Buck’s skin is burning, embarrassment and regret crackling across every nerve at revealing a secret he wanted to take to the grave. 

“You what?” Eddie asks, hand squeezing his cock. 

“You-you left the bathroom and I-I went in, and it was just there, and I couldn’t help it so I licked it and that’s how I know. I’m sorry, Eddie, I didn’t want you to know, I know it’s weird, but –”

“Was it good?”

Buck blinks, taken aback by Eddie’s question, expecting Eddie to be disgusted by what Buck was admitting, and shocked that Eddie isn’t telling him off right now. 

The words don’t come out, so Buck just nods. Eddie shrugs. “Good. Because you’re going to taste it again.” Bucks hips lift again, thrusting against nothing and he lets out a pathetic whimper, needing relief but not getting any. 

“You wanna be a good boy for me, Buck?” 

“So bad, Eddie, please, I’ll do anything,” Buck begs, tears stinging at his eyes. 

“You’re going to stay right there, hands on the floor. You’re gonna come, without touching yourself. Then you’re going to suck on my cock again and finger me until you taste my come again where I can watch.” 

Buck whines at that, immediately placing his hands on the floor in front of him, cock leaking and painful in his boxers, wet patch nearly taking up the whole front of the fabric. He needs that, needs to feel Eddie in his mouth, in his hands, he'll do whatever it takes.

Eddie starts stroking himself faster, eyes wide, pupils blown, looking at the image of Buck on all fours in front of him. 

“Good boy. Now close your eyes.”

Buck listens, eyes snapping closed, hips jerking at Eddie’s tone. 

“Picture someone pulling your boxers off, the relief you would get from the cool air. They take you in their palm, giving you a few strokes. Bet you’re leaking like crazy, your boxers are fucking soaked. You’d probably let them suck you for a few minutes, but that won’t be enough for you, not right now. No, you’d want to be laid out flat on the bed, fingered,” Eddie says. 

Buck’s hips are twitching uncontrollably, jerking into the air, practically humping nothing, but he has never felt better in his life. Eddie’s words roll over him, and he can feel the heat building in his gut. For some reason, the person he’s picturing is actually Eddie, and he feels a pang of guilt at that, but it is quickly forgotten as Eddie continues. 

“God, I can only imagine how loud you’d be, unable to hide how good it feels. You’d be impatient, wanting to be fucked before you’re ready, but I wouldn’t let that happen. Need you whiny and wiggling beneath me, three fingers in your hole before I would let myself push into you. Fuck, Buck, you would feel so good, so tight around me, I just know it.”

Buck’s breath is coming in pants, and he lets out another whine, loud and long. Holy shit. Eddie wasn’t kidding. He really was about to come just from Eddie’s words. His cock hadn’t been touched in hours, and it was twitching constantly, needing stimulation, but being denied. His hips have found a rhythm, rutting into the air, and he leans heavily on his hands. 

“Mm, or maybe you’d want to be the one to fuck into me. Do you want that, Buck? Wanna be the one fucking? God, you’re probably so hard it hurts. You’re being such a good boy for me Buck, listening so well, making me feel so good. Look at me, Buck,” he orders, and Buck tilts his head up, eyes flying open and immediately connecting with Eddie’s.

His thrusts start to stutter, and heat coils in his gut, so close to the edge, just needing one final push to send him over. His moans are coming fast and loose, unable or unwilling to hold anything back. 

“I wanna get your mouth back on me, so I need you to come for me, Buck. C’mon, baby, come for me,” Eddie says.

Baby. A primal grunt is ripped from Buck’s chest, and that is the last straw – Buck snaps. His hips thrust one, two, three more times into the air and then he’s collapsing onto his forearms as his whole body shakes and he spills into his boxers for the second time that day, forehead pressed against the floor. He comes so hard he sees white spots dancing in his vision and hears a ringing in his ears. His breath is coming in sharp and fast and it takes him a long minute to have the strength to push himself up, looking up at Eddie who is staring back at him with a dropped jaw and scrunched eyebrows, fist moving fast. 

“Need you. Now,” Eddie says, scooting back on the bed to make room for Buck. 

Eddie rests against the pillows, feet planted on the mattress, spread wide. Buck lays on his stomach in between Eddie’s legs. Eddie releases himself, placing one hand behind his head so he can support it to watch Buck, and runs the other through Buck’s curls as he gets in position. 

Buck is ravenous, despite having just come, and swallows Eddie to the base immediately. Eddie fights the urge to shut his eyes, needing to soak up every single second of this. Buck’s pace is brutal, working Eddie fast. 

Buck’s hand snakes between them, cupping Eddie’s balls and rolling them gently in his hand. Buck looks up at Eddie and sees Eddie’s lip caught between his teeth hard, muffling his noises. Buck can’t have that, so he pulls completely off of Eddie, ignoring the confused look Eddie gives him. 

“Need to hear you, Eds, please,” Buck says, voice absolutely wrecked, fucked out. Eddie’s head hits the headboard with a thud, and all he can do is nod jerkily. Buck accepts the response and gets back to work, and Eddie leaves his lips parted, noises of pleasure slipping free, being echoed around his cock, sending vibrations straight up his spine. 

Buck’s hand trails lower, lower, lower, and Eddie sucks in a sharp gasp when Buck’s index finger swirls around his rim. Buck’s eyes lift back to see Eddie, make sure he’s still okay with what Buck is doing. Eddie’s eyes are wide, cheeks pink, and he has a pleading look on his face, the first time his demeanor has cracked the whole day. 

Buck holds Eddie’s eyes as he slowly pushes his index finger in Eddie’s tight hole. Once Buck’s finger is fully inside, Eddie loses the battle, and his eyes close as his head tips back on a groan. 

“Fucking hell, Buck,” he grunts. 

Buck moans around his cock, and Eddie is nearly over the edge already, fingers tightening in Buck’s curls. Buck doubles down on his efforts, spit and precome dripping out of the corners of his mouth, slick sounds echoing in the air. Buck slides his finger in and out of Eddie, the spit from his chin dripping down to act as lubricant. 

“Feel so good, Buck, just like that baby.”

Buck can feel Eddie’s muscles tightening, thighs starting to tremble, grip in his hair perfectly riding Buck’s pleasure pain line. Eddie’s eyes collide with Buck’s and he hollows his cheeks and sucks hard, and Eddie arches into his mouth, coming with a shout. 

Eddie shoots rope after rope of warm, salty come down Buck’s throat, and Buck works him through the last drop, only stopping when Eddie gently runs his fingers through his curls and lightly tugs. His finger slips out of Eddie as Buck readjusts, sitting on his knees. 

Eddie is breathing heavily, eyes still trained on Buck, an unreadable expression on his face. Buck uses the back of his hand and swipes across his face, trying to clean up the mess that is on his chin. 

Eddie’s brain is swirling, not even remembering how they ended up in this situation, feeling slightly embarrassed and vulnerable and seen, but overall mostly just confused. Confused because that was the best he has ever felt, confused about what it means for their friendship, confused about what it means about him – just…confused. The only thing that makes any sense about it at all is that it’s Buck, his best friend, the in person he feels the most comfortable with. He doesn’t know what to do, what to say, doesn’t know how to voice what he’s feeling. Normally he can read Buck like an open book, knows him like the back of his hand, but right now, in this moment, he has no idea what Buck is thinking, and doesn’t know how Buck wants to deal with this. 

He’s straight. They both know that, so they also know that it doesn’t mean anything, it was just an opportunity they took advantage of. They're about to spend the week fake dating. They were just trying to get comfortable with each other.

Buck feels frozen, unable to move, unable to do anything but sit and look at Eddie and think. His mind is racing. This is uncharted territory, which he feels like hasn’t happened with Eddie in nearly eight years. He forgot how to navigate new things in their friendship, and doesn’t know what to do about this. Eddie’s straight, he knows that, he knows that this changes nothing, and that it was a one time lapse of judgment. But for some reason…it feels like more. 

“‘M gonna shower,” Buck says, still dazed. Eddie just nods and watches as Buck stands up and goes to the bathroom. Eddie grabs some tissues from the desk and cleans himself up, slipping back into his boxers and settling into bed. 

Buck showers quickly, and slides onto his side of the bed in sweatpants and a worn t-shirt. They don’t say anything, both of them too wrapped up in their own thoughts, and eventually, Buck rolls onto his side and clicks the lamp off. He falls asleep quickly, breathing getting heavier and evening out, soft snores filling the quiet of the room. Eddie, on the other hand, tosses and turns for quite a while, seemingly unable to get comfortable. His mind and body are exhausted and he knows that as soon as he’s in the right position he’ll be out like a light. 

After twenty minutes, he finally sighs, frustrated, and also rolls over on his side, tucking himself against Buck, slinging an arm over his waist, taking in a deep breath of Buck’s freshly washed hair as the curls tickle his nose. It’s only when he is comfortably snuggled up against Buck that he finally falls asleep. 

Chapter Text

Buck wakes up slowly, consciousness leisurely seeping back into his body. He feels like he hasn’t moved all night, still on his side, but his back is hot . Did the heat turn on overnight? He was so distracted by the whole massage , he never even checked to see if the AC was on. It isn’t until he feels Eddie shifting behind him that he realizes he’s not hot because of the AC – he’s hot because Eddie is pressed against him from head to toe, arm slung over his waist with a palm on his chest, crushing them together. 

The realization hits Buck like a bucket of ice and he tries to inch away from Eddie, not wanting him to be uncomfortable when he wakes up. Plus, he needs to get up and shower before they have to go back to his parents’ house for breakfast. That thought has dread settling in his gut, not wanting to go back to that house, not wanting to see them so soon. As soon as he tenses to move, Eddie’s arms tighten around him, keeping him pinned against his chest. Buck resists for all of five seconds before realizing there’s no way he’s getting out of this without waking Eddie up. 

Considering the long day they are bound to have ahead, he decides to let Eddie rest, and melts into his embrace, relaxing against his chest. He closes his eyes, deciding he should probably try and get back to sleep too. 

He’s nearly on the precipice of sleep, in that beautiful grey area between being asleep and being awake when he feels something that has his breath catching and his eyes flying open. 

Eddie is rocking into him gently and he is hard. Buck can feel Eddie’s cock sitting perfectly in between his cheeks, Eddie’s hips rolling gently into him, soft puffs of air leaving his lips, hitting Buck on the back of the neck. Buck’s eyes are wide and wild, and he freezes, not sure what to do. 

He decides his best course of action is to try again to extract himself from Eddie’s grasp and get out of the bed. Buck has no idea if Eddie is doing this on purpose or is even awake, and the urge to get out of bed and pretend this never happened is immense. He is fully prepared to peel himself from this bed without waking Eddie by sheer force of will and pretend this never happened, willing to wipe it from his mind for all of eternity. 

He wraps his fingers around Eddie’s wrist, pulling gently to try to get his arm from around his chest, but Eddie doesn’t budge, hand twisting in the fabric of Buck’s shirt and gripping onto him as he feels Eddie shake his head on the pillow behind him. So Eddie is awake then, which also means he is doing this on purpose. That thought has every last working brain cell falling out of his skull, body functioning purely on adrenaline at this point. 

All of Buck’s blood rushes south as he starts to thicken in his sweatpants. Eddie uses his new leverage to his advantage, using his grip on Buck to roll his hips harder against him, rubbing into him even deeper. Buck’s eyes flutter closed at the sensation, attempts to escape the bed paused as every brain cell focuses on just breathing. 

Eddie nuzzles into Buck’s back, forehead pressed in the crook of his neck, breathing getting heavier and scattering across Buck’s back making goosebumps rise beneath his t-shirt. Eddie’s thrusts are slow but relentless, setting a sweet pace. It is not lost on Buck that this would classify as the third time he and his best friend had dry humped in two days, but he has no time to dwell on that now . That’s a future Buck problem – present Buck is now hard and horny and that’s all he has the brain capacity to focus on. 

All thoughts of getting up abandoned, Buck starts to thrust back against Eddie, meeting him roll for roll of his hips. Eddie is damn near panting into his back, and Buck’s own breath doesn’t sound that much different. 

Eddie’s hand released its grip from where it was wrapped in his shirt, instead slipping under the hem, warm hand roaming across the expanse of stomach and chest. Buck’s lips part on a shaky exhale, the feeling of Eddie’s fingertips skipping across his skin sending sparks across his body. 

Eddie's hands trail upwards and he cups one of Buck’s tots and squeezes, causing Buck to moan softly. Buck is gripping the sheets tightly to keep himself from reaching a hand back and sliding into Eddie's boxers. 

Buck lets out a yelp when Eddie's fingers clamp down around a nipple and twist, soft chuckle coming from behind him. 

“Eddie,” he chokes out. “Wh-What're you doing?” 

“What do you want me to be doing?” Eddie whispers back, grinding his hips into Buck’s ass. 

Buck’s mouth is so dry and his nerves are already frazzled. He feels scatterbrained, the ability to focus completely annihilated already. Ever since they got on the plane to come here, things have been different. Intense. Heightened. He wonders briefly if they got altitude poisoning, or maybe are experiencing a shared delusion. Maybe Eddie is having a sympathy mental breakdown with him over having to come home. 

“Please,” is all he's able to get out, swallowing thickly. 

“Please what, Buck.” 

Eddie rolls his nipple between his fingers and Buck whines, already overwhelmed with sensation, skin heating. He's pushing back against Eddie like it's his job. 

“Yesterday… yesterday was about me. What do you want?” Buck asks. His throat is so dry his voice is coming out raspy, deep with sleep. The sound sends a jolt through Eddie, heat pooling in his gut. His fingers tighten on Buck, trying to keep a grip on his control. 

He's never been so turned on in his life. Ever since that damn car ride yesterday he has not been able to get enough. He really didn't think he had been in a dry spell that long, but the way he is craving sex right now is telling him otherwise. Feeling Buck against his fingertips, against his body, is putting him at new levels of horniness. 

Maybe it’s Pennsylvania, the eastern air activating something in him, something that lies dormant back home. Something that makes him feral for the closest person in the room who just happens to be Buck. That has to be it. A change in air pressure messing with his brain chemicals temporarily. He's sure that as soon as they land back home he will be back to normal, but for right now, he feels certain that if he doesn't come soon he's going to die. 

Buck’s question makes him pause a little. What does he want? The answer is in his mind before he even has to think about it. He wants Buck to fuck him. Simple as that. 

But for Eddie, it's not that simple. He doesn't know what that means, isn't ready to unpack that, not willing to go there right now. He is choosing to focus on what So, he asks for the next thing he wants. The thing he thinks he should be allowed to want. 

“Wanna see you fall apart for me,” he says, and Buck’s head tips back as he groans. “Take your shirt off.” 

Eddie doesn't loosen his grip on Buck, so Buck awkwardly wiggles out of his shirt while laying down, tugging it over his head impatiently and tossing it across the room. Once Buck is settled back against him, Eddie gets the now familiar tingling in his teeth. He really tries to ignore it, running his tongue over his teeth to try and soothe the sensation, but to no avail. He can’t hold himself back, and for once in his life, he doesn’t want to. 

He leans forward biting into Buck’s skin as he thrusts up against him and they both moan. Eddie bites, licks, and sucks a trail from in between Buck’s shoulder blades, to his shoulder, to his neck. Eddie gently catches Buck’s earlobe between his teeth, tugging gently. 

“Eddie,” Buck whines, finally giving in and reaching behind him. His fingers wrap around Eddie, giving him a firm squeeze and pumping him through his boxers once, twice, three times before Eddie is grabbing Buck’s hand, prying him off. 

Eddie shifts them quickly, and suddenly Buck is face down on the bed with his arm twisted behind his back in an iron clad grasp. Buck is breathing heavy, huffing Eddie’s coconut and vanilla scent off the sheets. Eddie’s on his knees as he presses into his hold on Buck’s wrist, leaning down to whisper in his ear. 

“So impatient,” he chides. Buck does his best to nod, face pressed into the mattress. He is impatient. He feels like if he doesn’t get his hands in, on, around Eddie right this minute he might burst into flames on this very bed. 

He tugs on Eddie’s grip, not necessarily to get away, but to see if he could – and when there is no movement, he feels precome leak out of his tip and his hips jut into the sheets. He trusts Eddie implicitly, and being at his complete mercy like this is making Buck feel insane. 

“Eddie,” Buck gulps. “Need to come, please,” Buck whines. 

“Oh, trust me, you’re gonna come. I think three times will be a good start to the morning, don’t you think?” Eddie says, giving Buck’s wrist a light squeeze before he lets go, tugging Buck’s arm and flipping him over so he is flat on his back. He hooks his fingers in Buck’s sweats and boxers and waits until he lifts his hips before pulling them off of Buck and tossing them off the bed. Eddie leans back on his feet, taking Buck in from head to toe. 

His long, muscular legs, thick thighs, wide chest, sleep lines on his face, rumpled curls. He’s a fucking vision . Not to mention his long, thick, leaking cock that is flushed with arousal, resting heavy on his belly. Eddie can’t keep his eyes off of Buck, drinking in the sight of him naked and horny in bed in the morning. 

Buck isn’t faring any better, eyes running over Eddie greedily. Eddie's hair is flopping over his eyes in the way that makes Buck’s fingers itch to run through it. His chest rises and falls quickly, and he’s stroking himself slowly, leisurely, through his boxers. Eddie’s teeth sink into his bottom lip as his eyes continue to wander over Buck’s body, and Buck’s stomach flips. He knows what those teeth feel like in his skin. And he is desperate to feel them again. 

“Eddie, please ,” he whines. Having Eddie so close, looking at him like that , and not having his hands on him is killing him. 

Eddie’s looking at Buck like he wants to devour him…which is not necessarily inaccurate. He does want to devour Buck – wants more than anything to lean down and suck him into his mouth. So he does. Eddie bends down, licking a stripe up Buck’s cock that has his hips thrusting upwards and a deep moan punching out of his chest at the sensation. 

Eddie reaches Buck’s tip, and releases his own guttural groan at the taste of Buck’s precome on his tongue. He laps at the pool that has already leaked out, and when that is all gone, he reaches out a hand and strokes Buck tightly until another bead spurts out of the tip, tongue licking it up quickly, moan leaving his lips, vibrating against Buck, sending tingles up his spine. 

Eddie’s words from earlier finally seem to process in his brain, and he jolts, sitting up on his elbows and looking at Eddie in alarm. Eddie leans back as well, sensing the panic from Buck, some of his own panic builds, and he’s immediately on edge, wondering where he went wrong, how he misread the situation so badly. He thought it was obvious that they were two friends helping each other out while pretending to be a couple for the week. He thought that he and Buck were on the same page about that, that they didn’t need to talk about it because he just understood, but maybe Eddie was wrong. 

“Wh-What? Three? Three times?” Buck sputters, looking at Eddie like he’s grown a second head. At his words, the panic swirling in Eddie’s chest settles, calm once more. Buck wasn’t alarmed about this – he was alarmed about how he was going to come three times before they had to leave for breakfast. 

Eddie smirks, reaching up and cupping Buck’s cheek, thumb rubbing over his pink, parted lips, warm breath falling on his fingertip. 

“What’s the matter, Buck, don’t think you can handle it?” he teases. “I thought you wanted to come?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. 

Buck nods jerkily, eyes going wide. “I-I do , Eddie, I want to come, I need to , so bad, but-but three times I–”

“Thought you were a good boy, but maybe I was wrong,” Eddie murmurs. 

“No, no, please, I am, I am good, I-I just–” 

“Then you’re going to take what I give you. And you’re going to take it well,” Eddie says, pushing his thumb between Buck’s lips, pressing on his tongue. Buck’s mouth closes around it immediately, tongue swirling around the tip, cheeks hollowing slightly as he sucks on it. Eddie’s free hand comes up to stroke through Buck’s curls, scratching lightly at his scalp, making Buck’s eyes flutter shut. 

Eddie starts to pump his thumb in and out of Buck’s mouth, and Buck gets lost in it, letting the weight of Eddie’s finger in his mouth and in his hair ground him, wipe his mind. He’s relaxed, calm. Until Eddie tugs sharply on his hair, sliding his finger out of Buck’s mouth. Buck’s eyes fly open and he whines instantly at the loss and at the sting on his scalp, chasing Eddie’s thumb which just makes the pull of his hair harder. 

“Do you have lube?” Eddie says, leaning over to look at Buck’s eyes as his head is tipped back at the ceiling. 

Buck tries to nod, but Eddie’s grip in his hair is too tight, so he just moves his head minutely. “Y-Yeah, in my, uh, my bag,” he says, pointing at his smaller bag sitting under the window. 

“Good boy,” Eddie whispers, hand loosening and running through his curls softly again. Buck leans into the touch, quiet hum leaving his chest. “I’m gonna get it,” Eddie says, reaching out and grabbing one of Buck’s hands, moving it to grip around his own shaft, Eddie’s hand making him squeeze gently, making his hips lift. “You hold this.” 

Eddie slips off the bed and strips out of his boxers as he goes over to the bag under the window. Buck’s mouth opens to direct him to the location of the bottle, but the words get caught in his throat when Eddie bends over, bare ass perfectly on display. Buck literally starts to salivate like a fucking dog. 

Buck has that familiar flash of guilt tear through him at the fact that he’s ogling his straight best friend, and he tries to push it away. Luckily, the guilt is quickly replaced with desire flooding his veins as Eddie bends further to reach into the bag revealing the perfect picture of his puckered hole. Buck bites into his lip and swallows down his moan. His hand starts stroking of its own accord, needing relief and not caring how he gets it. 

Eddie roots around in the bag for another minute, and then turns, triumphant expression falling dark as he sees Buck jerking himself on the bed after explicitly telling him not to. Once Buck looks up and sees Eddie’s face, his hand stops moving immediately, guilt spreading across his features. 

“E-Eddie, I’m sorry , you just, you looked so perfect bent over, I had to,” Buck stammers, apologizing for failing to listen to Eddie’s orders. Eddie feels a delicious surge of power crackle under his skin. He likes that Buck wants to be good for him, likes that Buck wants to listen to every single word, even if he isn’t always capable of doing so. Buck calling him perfect also sends a jolt of heat through his gut, pride blooming in his chest. Buck thinks he’s perfect. He tucks that away to examine later, choosing not to question why that compliment coming from him means more to him than anything anyone has ever said to him before. 

“Just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Just so desperate already,” Eddie says, navigating back onto the bed, grabbing Buck’s hand and knocking it out of the way. Eddie gathers both of Buck’s wrists in one hand and pins them above his head, swinging his leg so he’s straddling Buck’s hips, careful to avoid contact with the one area Buck is dying for. “Three orgasms not enough for you yesterday? Should we start with four this morning?” Eddie muses. 

Eddie’s sitting up on Buck’s lap, looking down at the bigger man, trailing his fingers from Buck’s curls, to his neck, down to his chest, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Eddie’s looking at the leftover marks on Buck’s chest from yesterday, and he feels a sick satisfaction at having left these blooms of color against his skin, desire to add to his artwork overwhelming. Buck’s mouth goes dry, and he clears his throat before trying to answer. 

“I-I can’t even do three, Eddie, please, I can’t,” he pants. 

Eddie’s fingers trail over Buck’s nipple, and his breath hitches. “You can, and you will. I think I can get four out of you today. I want to see you fall apart, just for me. Wanna see you like nobody else has ever seen you.” 

Buck’s back arches into his touch, head lolling to the side, eyes clamped shut. Buck struggles against Eddie’s grip on his hands, wanting to reach out and touch Eddie more than anything. Eddie gives in, leaning down and latching onto Buck’s neck and swirling his tongue around, eliciting a moan from them both. Eddie sinks his teeth in, nearly deep enough to break the skin, and Buck tips his head further to the side, giving him more access, reveling in the way Eddie’s canines feel in his neck. 

“Harder,” he groans, pulling against Eddie’s hands again, needing to run his fingers through Eddie’s hair, but still being unable to move. Buck’s hips thrust under Eddie, chasing friction that isn’t there. He’s leaking a steady stream of precome and it’s pooling on his stomach. 

Eddie keeps biting and nipping at Buck’s neck, suctioning his lips to Buck’s pulse point and sucking until there’s a large red mark to his satisfaction. Eddie is working his way behind Buck’s ear when Buck whimpers out, “I’m close.” 

Eddie pulls back, sitting up again and looking down at him with a mix of confusion and awe. “Buck, I haven’t even touched you yet,” he says, and Buck flushes a beautiful pink color, birthmark turning a dark red. Eddie can’t resist leaning down and licking at the swatch of color, and Buck’s hips jerk against his again. 

“E-Eddie, seriously, I’m so close, please, please, can I?” 

“Can you what?” Eddie murmurs, right next to his ear. He can hear Buck gulp audibly. 

“Can I come, please?” he tries again. 

Eddie hums thoughtfully. “No.” 

Buck whines, desperately trying to hold back the orgasm he can feel building. 

“Want your first one to be in my mouth,” Eddie says, finally lowering himself and rubbing down against Buck. It’s a fucking miracle that he doesn’t blow his load right then and there. 

“H-Hurry,” Buck pleads. 

“Mm, thought you liked my teeth on you,” Eddie replies, scraping his teeth gently against Buck’s jaw, and Buck releases a long sigh. 

“I do , but I’m so fucking horny, Eddie, I-I can’t wait any longer.” 

“Are you always this needy?” 

“No, j-just with you .” 

Eddie’s stomach flips. So it’s not just him that’s feeling this insane overflowing sexual desire with Buck – he feels it, too. He had never noticed it before, but now that he has, he can’t even think about Buck without wanting to get his hands on him, wanting to feel the bigger man writhing beneath him, teased and desperate, just like he is right now. Eddie pulls back and looks down at him. 

Buck’s curls are crazy, arms bulging as he yanks against Eddie’s grip. His lips are parted and he’s breathing heavily, face flushed, birthmark dark pink with exertion, blue eyes now trained on Eddie’s, eagerness evident in their hue. 

“You are so beautiful,” he whispers, not able to catch the words before they slip past his lips. He feels his own cheeks heat for the first time, and Buck’s expression softens, something unreadable crossing his face. Eddie clears his throat, breaking away from Buck’s gaze, eyes flicking down to his chest. His finger traces a prominent bite mark on one of Buck’s tits, and he grins, looking up at Buck from beneath his lashes. “Especially when you’re all marked up.” 

Buck’s hips raise again, and Eddie can’t take it any more. 

“Need to get my mouth on you,” he says. He presses Buck’s wrist into the pillow where they’re raised above his head. “These stay here.” 

Eddie releases Buck’s hands, and one of them immediately flies between Eddie’s legs, gripping his shaft and stroking him. Eddie’s head falls back and his mouth drops open, thrusting up into Buck’s grip. He can’t help it, the friction Buck is providing is ridiculous and he needs it. 

He blindly reaches for Buck’s hand pausing his motion. Eddie looks down and Buck is grinning up at him cheekily, mischievous glint in his eye. Little shit is doing it on purpose, trying to see how far he can push Eddie. Oh, he has no idea who he’s messing with. 

Eddie holds Buck’s hand around his cock as he leans down and sucks Buck’s nipple into his mouth. Eddie bites down around it gently, and Buck’s hand squeezes around him which makes him moan against Buck’s skin. His tongue soothes the sting, and he laps at the sensitive skin there. He uses his free hand to roll Buck’s other nipple between his fingers, pinching and tugging at it gently. Buck’s hips are thrusting in a steady rhythm, searching for touch but meeting only air. 

Eddie latches on and sucks hard and Buck is panting and whining. 

“Eddie, I-I’m gonna –”

“Come on, baby, come for me, it's okay,” Eddie murmurs, lips against Buck’s skin sending vibrations through his chest. 

Buck tenses under him, muscles going rigid and a long, drawn out moan leaves his lips as heat coils and releases in his stomach, spend splashing over his thighs and the back of Eddie’s legs. Eddie keeps nipping at his skin as he feels Buck begin to relax, and continues until Buck is shaking beneath him, skin sensitive. 

He doesn’t stop, not until Buck’s hand is tightening around his cock again, whine leaving his lips as he wiggles uncomfortably. 

Eddie needs to see him, so he pushes up, swinging his leg over Buck as he climbs off of him. His eyes immediately drift downward, seeing the wet ropes of come splattered across his thighs. Eddie fights the urge to lean down and lick him clean and flicks his eyes back up to Buck. Buck’s eyes are dark and hungry as he looks over Eddie, seeing his mess on Eddie’s ass cheek. 

Eddie leans down and flattens his tongue over Buck’s skin, licking up Buck’s come where it landed on his legs, groaning as the salty flavor bursts across his tongue. He’s never had the urge to try come before, never even tried his own, but he cannot get enough of Buck’s and spends probably far longer than he would like to admit adamantly cleaning up Buck’s mess. 

Eddie’s eyes land on Buck’s still hard dick, flushed the most perfect shade of pink, starting to look angry, even though he just came. Eddie reaches out a hand and wraps his fingers around Buck’s base, eliciting a hiss from his lips. 

“Eds, please, more, ungh, need,” Buck babbles. 

Eddie’s head tilts. “Mm, I thought you just needed to come once? Maybe we should be all done,” he teases, stroking Buck slowly as he speaks. Buck tries to thrust into Eddie’s fist, irritated at how slow Eddie is moving, but Eddie’s free hand pushes his hips back into the bed, stalling his movements. 

It’s the first time he’s ever touched a bare cock that wasn’t his own, and he should be nervous about what it means, why he likes the weight of it in his palm, why he is marveling at the soft velvety feel of Buck’s skin, why he doesn’t want to stop, why he wants to do more. 

But what he is really worried about is if he is doing it right, if he’s making Buck feel good, if his pressure is okay, if it’s too dry, if his technique is too sloppy. He leans down and lets a glob of spit fall from his lips, landing on Buck’s tip and dripping toward his base. Buck groans loudly at that, eyes nearly rolling back in his head. Eddie decides to test the waters a little bit, see where Buck’s line is, see how many buttons he can push. 

Keeping one hand around Buck, the other hand cups his face gently, thumb pushing down on his chin to get his mouth to open up. Eddie leans over, hovering directly above Buck, searching his eyes for a moment. Without breaking eye contact, Eddie lets another long string of spit fall from his lips and land in Buck’s open mouth. Buck’s eyes do roll back at this, but only for a moment before they snap back to Eddie’s pleading. 

“Again. Please, Eddie, please do it again,” Buck begs. His words crash over Eddie like a wave. Buck is begging for Eddie to spit in his mouth. And who is Eddie to turn him down? 

“Stick out your tongue,” Eddie says, rough and cracking around the edges, desire evident in his voice. 

Buck listens immediately, mouth open wide with his tongue sticking out. Eddie smiles at him and runs a hand through his curls, gripping onto the hair at the back of his head. Eddie squishes around his mouth for a moment, gathering up a sizable amount of spit, and slowly drops it into Buck’s waiting mouth, watching as he moans as Eddie’s liquid hits his tongue. Eddie watches with wide eyes as Buck savors the spit on his tongue, eventually swallowing and biting his teeth into his bottom lip. 

Eddie feels his resolve snap. He needs more of Buck, and he needs it now. He shuffles back down the bed a bit, wasting no time to get into the position he wants – kneeling in between Buck’s legs. He leans down and swallows down Buck’s shaft as much as he can in one swift bob of his head. 

Buck tenses beneath him, loud moan ripping from his throat. 

“Holy fuck, Eds,” he groans, hand landing in Eddie’s hair, gripping onto the strands. Eddie can’t even care that Buck is ignoring his instructions, using the touch to ground himself. He bobs on Buck’s cock, tentative, unsure, but turned on. 

He quickly discovers that he actually doesn’t have a gag reflex, and can fit nearly all of Buck’s long, thick cock down his throat, and that boosts his confidence enough to double down on his efforts, quickening his pace. 

It’s not exactly lost on him that he is willingly sucking another man’s dick right now, even if it is Buck. He is confident that there will be time to dissect this later. If he needs to. He is actually 100% sure that it is just something about being in Pennsylvania with Buck that is making them like this , and by the time they get home, they’ll be able to laugh about this whole thing and move on, forgetting all about it. He’ll be able to find a nice woman, a good partner, a co-parent for Chris – the one thing he has been searching for for years. 

For now, he shoves all of that into a box in the back of his mind, locking it hastily and throwing away the key. He’s being a good friend to Buck this week – that is what he needs to focus on. Making Buck feel good and forget about how shitty his parents have been is the least he can do to support his best friend. 

Eddie reaches up and puts his free index finger in Buck’s open mouth, and he clamps around it, swirling his slick tongue around, making Eddie groan around him, which, in turn, causes Buck to groan on his finger, vibrations passing between the two in tandem. 

Once Buck has gotten his finger nice and wet, Eddie pulls it out with a wet pop. He reaches down, trailing it lightly down Buck’s chest and stomach, feeling his muscles contract beneath him and loving it . Eddie swallows around Buck’s length, and he can feel Buck’s head thud back against the pillows, and Eddie glances up to see Buck’s head thrown back in pleasure, mouth dropped open, eyes screwed up tight. 

Eddie gently cups Buck’s balls, giving them a gentle squeeze, watching Buck’s face carefully. His nerves at being inexperienced are drowned away by the look on Buck’s face, and Eddie continues his ministrations, cataloging every twitch and expression that Buck makes, figuring out ways to pleasure him by trial and error. He feels the overwhelming desire to know exactly how to make Buck tick, needing to know what makes him feel the best, needing to be the one that makes him feel good. 

Buck digs his teeth in his bottom lip, vibrations caught in his chest. Eddie continues with his downward momentum, using his slick finger to circle Buck’s rim gently, watching as he jolts under his touch, teeth digging further into his lip. 

Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch at that, and he pulls completely off of Buck. Buck’s head lifts quickly, looking at him in a dazed confusion. 

“What’s the matter?” Buck asks. 

“Stop doing that,” Eddie says. 

“Stop doing what?” 

“Trying to muffle yourself. Those are my noises, Buck, noises you’re making for me. I want to hear them, I need to hear you,” Eddie says quickly. He feels like this is yet another time he has made himself too vulnerable, revealing too much, yet still not knowing what exactly it is that he’s revealing. He wants to move on quickly, knowing that picking at the loose threads will unravel his whole psyche, unlocking that box and ruining everything . So, he does the only thing he can think to do. 

Eddie slips his finger past Buck’s tight ring of muscle, groaning at how tight and warm Buck is around him. At the intrusion, Buck moans loudly, mouth back open and sounds slipping out freely which only serves to motivate Eddie, wanting to see how loud he can get him. Eddie pumps his finger in time with his bobs on Buck’s cock, and Buck’s hand grips at Eddie’s hair. 

“More, Eddie, please , I-I need more. Feels so fucking good,” Buck pants, hips thrusting up into Eddie’s mouth and down on his finger at the same time. 

Eddie uses his free hand to pat around the bed, searching. His fingertips graze cool plastic and he finds what he’s looking for, grasping the bottle of lube and opening the cap with a soft snick . Eddie pulls his finger out, Buck whining at the loss, and squirts out some lube. He spreads it over two fingers, and brings them back to Buck’s hole, rubbing around it slowly. 

Buck’s cheeks are flushed, and Eddie pauses a moment as his gaze is caught on Buck’s birthmark – the most beautiful swatch of color above his brilliant blue eyes. He pauses to look at Buck’s face, drinking in every line and curve of the most beautiful human he has ever seen, trying to memorize the way he looks when he is hot, horny, naked, and touch drunk on Eddie. He also pauses because he himself was about to come just from the sound of Buck’s pleasure and the weight of him on his tongue, the squeeze around his finger. He understands now why Buck almost came just from sucking him off the other day, and he just needs a second to cool off so he can continue his work on Buck. 

He’s never been one to have a fast trigger in that regard, always needing a lot of time and perfectly curated mental scenarios to get off, especially with a partner. When he was alone, he could stroke one out fast and quick, but with a partner it always took longer, and he always came with his eyes closed, head turned away from whomever he was with. But Eddie can’t keep his eyes off of Buck, wanting – needing – to see every single second of pleasure. 

He pauses so long that Buck’s eyes flicker open, blinking rapidly, and his head tilts to look at Eddie. When their gazes meet, Buck’s mouth drops open on a groan, but he forces his eyes to stay open, needing to see . Eddie hollows his cheeks and sucks around Buck as he pushes two fingers in. 

Buck’s eyebrows scrunch, and his breath comes in fast pants. 

“‘M not gonna last long, Eds,” he says, already feeling heat coil in his gut. Eddie moans around Buck, pride that he’s making Buck feel good curling around his heart and settling warm in his chest. The vibrations push Buck closer to the edge, and he’s thrusting his hips perfectly in time with Eddie, both of them chasing that release for him. Eddie’s tongue swirls around Buck’s tip and he swallows Buck to the base right as his fingers crook and hit that perfect spot inside of Buck that has him babbling an incoherent string of curses as he tenses and shakes under Eddie, come spilling directly down Eddie’s throat. 

Eddie doesn’t stop pumping his fingers, but slows the pace, working Buck through the end of his orgasm. As Buck softens in his mouth, he does one final sweep of the length with his tongue, making sure he got every last drop cleaned off of Buck and releasing him gently, pressing a quick kiss to his tip before he can think better about it. Eddie keeps his fingers moving inside Buck, and searches for that spot inside him to hopefully keep him from noticing what he just did. 

Eddie scissors his fingers slowly, stretching Buck open to be able to take his cock, needing release desperately now that he doesn’t have Buck’s sweet noises to distract him. As if on cue, Buck starts to whine softly, right on the edge of overstimulation, on too much. 

“Eddie,” he pleads. Eddie doesn’t know if he’s pleading for more or pleading to be done, so his fingers still inside of Buck. Buck’s eyes are red rimmed, tears shining unshed. Eddie feels a brief flash of guilt, but mostly he feels a deep sense of satisfaction – he did that to Buck. He has to keep the grin off his face, needing first to check in with Buck. 

Eddie reaches out his free hand and rubs gently through his curls. “You okay?” he asks softly, not wanting to push Buck too far, wanting to bring him right to the edge of too much but not push him over. As Eddie scratches at Buck’s scalp reassuringly, motion catches his eye and he watches as Buck starts to get hard again. Eddie looks up at Buck, grin wide and free, pride in turning Buck on written in every facet of his expression. 

Buck’s cheeks blush as he too looks down at where he’s already fully hard. He turns his pleading eyes back on Eddie, desperation evident as he starts to rock his hips down on Eddie’s fingers. 

“No, ‘m not okay,” he says on a huff, head tipping back once more. 

“What do you need, baby?” Eddie murmurs, pressing his lips to Buck’s hip bone, resuming his thrusts inside of Buck, hitting his prostate with every one. 

“You already know.” 

“I do,” Eddie agrees, “but you need to say it.” 

“Why?” Buck whines, pitch rising as Eddie crooks his fingers perfectly. 

“Want to hear how desperate you are for me. Need to hear that pathetic whine just begging for my cock. Need you to prove how bad you want it,” Eddie says, voice low and fucked out. Eddie places kisses around Buck’s inner thighs, and then bites, making Buck yelp. It’s like music to his fucking ears. 

“C’mon, Eddie, you already know,” Buck says, stubborn. 

Eddie slips his fingers out of Buck, wiping them off on a blanket, rising up onto his knees between Buck’s legs. “Well, if you don’t want it, we can be all done, Buck, no worries –” 

“No, no, no, Eddie, come on, please, I–,” Buck breaks off on a choked cry. A tear slips out of the corner of his eye as he squeezes them closed, and Eddie uses a thumb to wipe it away, Buck nuzzling into his palm. 

“Take a breath, Buck.” 

Buck sucks in a huge breath of air, exhaling shakily, opening his eyes to look back at Eddie. He finds Eddie’s gaze soft and stable, yet slightly hesitant. 

Eddie’s hand drops to Buck’s hip, fingers trailing lightly over the skin there, making Buck shiver. “I need to know you want this,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. 

Buck scoffs, hand gesturing down at where he is already red and leaking. “Obviously I want this Eddie,” he says, gulping. “I-I mean, it’s just sex, how could I not want this.” The words immediately feel wrong leaving his lips, but there’s no taking them back – they’re out there, and he can see them hit Eddie, watches as Eddie, flinches – barely detectable, but he still notices. 

He feels the guilty settle heavy in his stomach, but he doesn’t know why – it is just sex. They are just two friends helping each other out. Well, really, Eddie is helping him out – pretending to be his boyfriend, standing up to his parents with him, using physical touch to calm Buck down, to remind him that he is still loved and can still feel good, even if his parents don’t want him. 

Buck pushes all of that to the back of his mind, choosing to think about it at a different time, choosing to focus on what is right in front of him – Eddie. Horny, hot, naked, hard, hungry Eddie, who is looking at him like he doesn’t know what to do for the first time in days. 

Buck wants to – needs to – wipe that look off his face, put the confident Eddie he knows back in place. 

“Ed-Eddie, please, need you in me. Need you to fuck me, please. I’ve never been so horny in my life, Eds, please, want you in me so bad I feel like I’m gonna die, please, please, I need more, please–” Buck breaks off on a sob, breath coming fast and hard. His cock twitches, and another tear leaks out of his eye. 

Eddie wipes Buck’s tear away again, nodding his head. “That’s more like it. Such a good boy for me, huh, Buck? Think you can come again?” he asks, reaching out and wrapping his hand around Buck once more, stroking him a few times. 

“Yea- yeah , yes, I, yeah, mmhm, I can, I promise, please,” he babbles. 

Eddie grabs Buck’s ankles, pushing them upward and widening his legs even more, giving himself more room to work. He leans over Buck, caging him in, hand on either side of his head. His hips roll forward until they make contact with Buck’s skin, tip falling perfectly in place at Buck’s rum, nudging it gently. 

“Please, Eddie, can’t take it anymore, need you in me right now,” Buck says, voice raspy. 

“So impatient, B,” Eddie says, leaning down to press open mouthed kisses along Buck’s neck as his hips roll against Buck, teasing him. When Buck lets out another sob, Eddie presses forward, and they let out matching groans as his head pops past Buck’s rim. 

Eddie lets Buck adjust to the feel of him for just a moment before slowly sheathing himself fully inside of Buck. Eddie pauses again, just gently rocking his hips in small motions, not wanting to rush Buck, but unable to stay still, reveling in the way Buck’s walls feel around his cock. Eddie pulls back, wanting to watch Buck’s face, make sure he’s doing it right, making him feel good. 

“So fucking tight , jesus,” Eddie grunts. 

Buck looks up at him with a smile. “I’m not jesus, I’m Buck,” he says, chuckling lightly. 

Eddie rolls his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he says, voice warm and fond, own smile tugging his lips up. 

“Hey! That’s so not – ungh , oh, god,” he cries as Eddie pulls nearly all the way out and slams back into him. 

“Not god. Eddie,” Eddie grunts, still smiling as he sets a brutal pace, thrusting into Buck hard. 

“Mm, Eddie, ” Buck groans, and Eddie feels it like a lightning strike to his nervous system. Heat coils in his gut and he knows he isn’t going to last that long, not after how long he’s been teasing Buck, hearing those sweet noises from his lips. 

“Fuck, Buck, feel so fucking good. So fucking tight for me, baby,” Eddie says, skin meeting Buck’s with loud claps that echo through the room. Eddie has a fleeting moment of gratefulness that they are at a hotel and not the Buckley family home, but that thought – along with every other he has ever had – flies out of his head as he feels Buck clench around him. 

“Holy shit, Eddie, Eddie, oh fuck, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna – can I? Can I please?,” he asks, eyes wide and desperate as he looks at Eddie. The fact that Buck is asking – begging – to come while Eddie fucks into him has Eddie’s very veins on fire , heat pumping through every inch of his body. He feels close himself, and he knows he’s going to tumble over that edge with Buck. 

He reaches out and tweaks a nipple, pulling a groan from the bigger man. “Come on, Buck, come for me, wanna see you come on my cock, baby, c’mon.”

Buck thrusts back against Eddie, panting, hole clenching around Eddie as he orgasms for the third time in a row that morning. Eddie continues his thrusts, and come dribbling weakly down Buck’s untouched shaft until he’s coming dry, muscles shaking. 

Buck watches Eddie watch him, eyes glued to where he’s still twitching. Eddie’s eyes trail up his body, colliding with his eyes. It’s then that he loses his rhythm, hips stuttering as he continues to push into Buck, walls still fluttering around him as Eddie twitches and shoots his load inside of Buck. He’s been hard all morning and hasn’t come a single time, so he shoots rope after rope of substance inside Buck, filling him so much that it starts to leak out around him. 

Eddie stills, completely engulfed by Buck, feeling the warm liquid move around him, but he ignores all of that, focusing on Buck – the way his cheeks are flushed, the beads of sweat on his forehead that Eddie has to hold himself back from licking off, the hue of his birthmark, his eyes. They both breathe heavy, eyes locked on each other, almost like they are under the same spell. 

Eddie pulls out slowly, eyes breaking from Buck’s to watch his spend drip out of Buck’s clenching hole. Buck immediately whines at the loss, already missing how full Eddie made him feel. 

Buck is watching Eddie with a feeling of awe stirring in his gut. Eddie looks incredible, hair fluffy and loose, falling in strands across his forehead, cheeks pink and shiny, looking completely at ease and satisfied – and Buck made him feel that way. Buck clamps his mouth shut to stop words he doesn’t mean from slipping out – that was incredible, you’re amazing, I want you all the time. 

Eddie scoots back and leans down. Buck’s eyebrows scrunch, leaning up on an elbow to keep an eye on him, confused. He yelps as he feels Eddie’s lips suction around his puffy hole, tongue forcing its way inside. Buck flops back on the bed feeling boneless. Eddie is eating his own come out of Buck’s ass right now. If it was physically possible, Buck would have gotten hard again on that thought alone . 

Eddie’s tongue licks inside him, circling around. Then he sucks , and Buck feels the strange sensation of the come moving around inside him. Eddie continues this cycle for a few minutes – licking inside, tongue wiggling around, probing, and then suctioning around the hole and sucking. Then, he pulls back, bracing himself over Buck as he hovers above him. 

Buck is, once again, confused, until Eddie’s hand lands on his jaw, thumb pushing his chin down so his mouth opens. Buck’s eyes light up in surprise and understanding, and he immediately opens wide with his tongue stretched out. Eddie leans a bit closer, feeling Buck’s hot breath across his face, and spits, dripping the come, saliva and lube mixture directly onto Buck’s tongue. As soon as there’s contact, Buck is moaning, tasting himself and Eddie mixing together. He reaches up and grips the forearm next to his head as a point of contact to ground himself. 

Eddie empties the contents of his mouth onto Buck’s tongue, and Buck holds his tongue out, letting Eddie see the mess on it before dutifully swallowing it down. 

“More,” he whines, already missing the taste. Eddie chuckles and shakes his head. 

“Don’t have any more, baby. You’re empty.” 

“Just spit then. Please, Eddie, one last time,” he begs, ears burning with embarrassment. 

Eddie rubs his thumb against his jaw and Buck knows that means open up. Eddie leans even closer this time, noses nearly touching, eyes almost crossing as they maintain eye contact. Eddie swirls his tongue around his mouth, gathering his own saliva, and drips a hearty amount onto Buck’s waiting tongue. Buck groans again, and lets it sit there, savoring the taste of pure Eddie, before mixing it around his mouth, wanting to coat the entire thing with the spit. Finally, he swallows, opening his mouth again to show Eddie that it’s all gone.

“Good boy. Now, wait here,” Eddie says, and he navigates off the bed, heading in the direction of the bathroom, Buck hears the water start to run, and he sits up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed, stretching. 

Eddie comes back with a washcloth and a cup of water. When he sees Buck on the side of the bed, he frowns and shakes his head. 

“Dude. I told you to wait. Thought you knew how to listen.” 

Buck huffs, crossing his arms. “I do know how to listen, but I didn’t need to wait, I can take care of myself, you know.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes, kneeling to the floor and wrapping a large hand around Buck’s ankle, placing it onto the bed, and reaching with the washcloth to wipe Buck clean. The cloth is warm and wet against him, and Eddie takes extra gentle care to get him clean without hurting him. Eddie’s hand is still wrapped around Buck’s leg, fingers kneading into the calf. 

“Are you…massaging my calf right now?” 

“Don’t want your leg to act up today,” he says simply, and Buck feels like he just got punched in the gut. The way Eddie cares about him – genuinely, effortless – makes his heart glow . Nobody in the world has ever cared about him the way Eddie does. He has never felt love like this from anyone – not even Maddie, and that’s saying a lot . Buck feels a wave of gratitude that Eddie is his best friend. He’s never had a best friend before, never knew that this was what he was missing out on – someone you love more than anything in the world, someone who knows you inside and out, someone who makes you feel seen . 

“Eddie, I…I’m really glad that you’re my–” Buck chokes on the words best friend  suddenly nauseous just thinking them. 

Eddie looks up from him where he’s just finishing cleaning Buck up, running the washcloth over himself quickly and tossing it onto the nightstand. 

“Hmm?” 

“I-I’m really glad that you’re here,” Buck says instead, unease settling at skipping over those two platonic words. Yet another thing to tuck into the box in his brain labeled Think About Later . No time or desire to go through it now. 

Eddie leans over, placing a quick kiss on the inside of Buck’s ankle, using the grip he has around it already to lower his foot back to the floor. Eddie stands up, still naked, and just stares at Buck for a second. Then, he shakes his head, clearing his throat, looking over to the clock sitting next to the bed. 

“Breakfast?” he asks, holding out a fist. 

Buck takes a deep breath and nods. “Breakfast,” he says, bumping his fist into Eddie’s. 

They change and begin their drive back to the Buckley’s house in a comfortable silence, Buck back on the driver’s side where he belongs, Eddie sitting dutifully as passenger princess. Buck’s hands grip the wheel tighter and tighter as they get closer to the Buckley house, and Eddie notices immediately. 

He lets Buck be, knowing he will talk about it when he’s ready. But the third time Buck tightens his grip so hard the leather creaks beneath his force, Eddie can’t help himself. At this point, he doesn’t know if he is doing it more to comfort himself or comfort Buck , but he knows that he needs to get his hands on Buck as fast as possible. He doesn’t say anything, just reaches out and places a large, warm palm on Buck’s thigh. Buck visibly relaxes, and lets out a long sigh at the contact, shoulders dropping, hands loosening. Eddie feels something stirring in his chest at that, glad he was able to make such an impact on his best friend when he needed it. 

Buck pulls into the driveway, throws the car in park, and then just…sits there. Staring. 

“You okay?” Eddie asks softly, squeezing Buck’s thigh where his hand is still resting. 

Buck swallows, shaking his head slightly. “Honestly? No. I am so…I am so mad about how they treated you I don’t know if I can even look at them,” Buck says, voice shaky. 

Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch. “Wait, how they treated me? Buck, they barely spoke to me.”

Buck sighs, turning to look at Eddie. “Yeah, I-I know, but they should have. You flew all this way just to be here for me , just to help me make them look good and they insulted the both of us and threw us out of the house , and they didn’t even have the decency to look you in the eyes more than one minute total . I am so sorry that I brought you here. You shouldn’t have come for breakfast, you should only have to interact with them the absolute bare minimum. Ugh, I’m sorry, come on, I’ll drop you back off.” 

Eddie’s hand flies out to land on Buck’s which was reaching for the parking gear, ready to drive off and dump Eddie back at the hotel. 

“Buck, I’m not leaving my boyfriend alone in there to deal with those people.” 

“I have Maddie and Chim. Besides, I’m not really your boyfriend, so you don’t need to–” 

“This week you are. I came here to be there for you, B. Let me?” he asks, watching as Buck thinks it over. 

This week you are. The words soothe the tension in Buck’s neck, like a balm to the soul. Eddie’s not going anywhere. He wants to be here for Buck, wants to support him in every way he can. Buck is shocked at how far Eddie is immersing himself in this “boyfriend” role – he definitely was not expecting sex to come with the part when Eddie first declared they were dating at the dinner table but who is he to turn down a bit of fun with his best friend? Maybe Eddie should get into acting when they get back to LA – what’s that thing actors do? Method acting? That’s all this is for them this week – method acting. 

Buck realizes he’s been lost in his train of thought a little bit too long when he feels another squeeze on his thigh, Eddie’s thumb rubbing his leg through his jeans. 

“Okay. Thank you,” he agrees, voice small in the big car. Eddie smiles, releasing his hand and unbuckling both of their seatbelts. 

“Besides, Jee would miss spending time with her favorite uncle if I went back to the hotel, and I couldn’t do that to her, now could I?” he teases, throwing Buck a wink and opening his car door. 

Buck scoffs, opening his door and following Eddie to the porch. 

“Oh, please. I’m her favorite uncle, and we both know it,” he tosses over his shoulder as he knocks on the front door. 

“Okay, let’s place a bet. If she says my name first when she sees us, I win. If she says yours first, you win,” Eddie says smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Buck tilts his head, considering. “What does the winner get?” 

A wicked grin spreads across Eddie’s face. “Winner gets to give the loser that last orgasm I’m owed today,” he says. 

Buck’s cheeks flush bright pink, mouth sputtering open. “Wa-wait, what?” 

“I said I wanted four. You only gave me three. Means I still have one more left for today,” Eddie says darkly, eyes roaming over Buck’s body. 

“Well, one , I am going to win, so you might want to rethink that and two, Eds I can’t –” 

“You can. And I’m going to win. You know, maybe it actually is a good thing we got a hotel,” Eddie says, winking again, leaving Buck bright pink with his jaw dropped as the front door opens to reveal Maddie. 

She smiles when she sees them. “Hey, guys, how was your ni–”. Her question is cut off as she looks over them on the porch, eyes caught on the string of hickeys peeking out of Buck’s collar, leading from his collarbone to behind his ear, puffy teeth marks mixed in with the purple spots. Eddie raises a hand to his mouth to cover his grin as Maddie’s jaw drops open. Two stunned Buckley’s on the porch and the source of it all: Eddie. He’s doing his best to hold in his laughter, but he’s seconds away from breaking. 

Luckily, he hears tiny feet stomping down the hallway to the door, and little Jee-Yun appears behind Maddie. 

“Uncle Eddie! Uncle Buck!” she squeals, flinging herself at Eddie’s knees. That shakes the laughter right out of Eddie’s chest, because somehow Buck is blushing even more – Eddie won the bet, which means he’s still one orgasm away from sleep tonight. 

Eddie bends down to pick up Jee, slinging her on his hip. “Jee! I missed you! C’mon, let’s go see what we’re having for breakfast,” Eddie says, sliding past Maddie where she is still frozen in the doorway, staring at Buck who is frozen on the porch. 

“Um, mommy and uncle Buck are broken,” Jee pouts, pointing over Eddie’s shoulder at them as he leads them down the hallway. 

“They just need to have a quick talk and they’ll be all better, I’m sure,” Eddie chuckles, setting Jee down in the kitchen. 

“Eddie, hey, man, good morning,” Chim says, pouring himself and Eddie a cup of coffee. “Where’s Evan?” 

The name sounds foreign coming from Chimney, and by the look on his face, it doesn’t feel any better coming out of his mouth either. They must have had a more serious “nobody calls him Buck here” talk after they left yesterday. 

“Him and Maddie are…they’re talking on the porch. They should be in soon,” Eddie says, laughter bubbling up in his chest again, but he pushes it down. Well, he tries to push it down. Chim gives him a weird look, which means he didn’t exactly succeed. 

“Oh, Eddie. You’re here. Great,” Margaret says flatly as she enters the kitchen. “Did you leave Evan at home? I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” she says, laughing lightly at herself. 

Eddie immediately stiffens, and Chim stills as he is pouring sugar into Eddie’s coffee. It might be extra sweet today. 

“No, he’s out front with Maddie. Just catching up, I think,” Eddie says tightly. 

“Well, for christ’s sake, they just spoke yesterday ,” she snaps. 

“Right, I think they’re trying to figure out the car situation for the birthday party later? Seeing as how we are no longer staying here and need to figure out how we’re going to get from place to place,” he says, making up a total fucking lie, but needing to say something to get Margaret to stop . 

“Oh. That actually makes sense.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief. If he has to spend the rest of the week here, he cannot scream at Buck’s mother in the middle of her kitchen. Especially not in front of Jee. Chim slides him his cup of coffee and he takes a sip – a bit too sweet, but overall good. He gives Chim a thankful smile, and Chim shoots him a look that says good luck as he goes to get Jee washed up for breakfast. 

Out on the porch, Buck is fidgeting nervously under Maddie’s still-stunned gaze. 

“Um, Buck? Are those hickeys?” she hisses, closing the door behind them so they can talk more freely. 

Buck opens his mouth to respond, but the words get caught in his throat, so he just nods. 

“Well, seeing as they weren’t there yesterday, I can only assume … Eddie? ” she asks, curiosity, excitement, and something else – something Buck can’t quite name – sparkling in her eyes. 

He nods slowly, not even sure what to say. Turns out, he doesn’t have to say anything, because Maddie just immediately starts asking questions. 

“What does that mean? I thought he was straight! Wait, are you guys actually together? I thought that was fake? Buck, I’m so confused, what is going on with you two?” 

“I-I…he is straight. It’s just pretend, Mads. We-we’re method acting, that’s all. Just really immersing ourselves in the whole, um, experience for the week,” Buck stutters, trying to explain their situation. 

Maddie looks at him in disbelief, raising one eyebrow at him. “Method acting? Method acting? You have hickeys all over your neck and you’re going to tell me you’re method acting?!” she squeals, hitting him in the chest with the back of her hands. 

“Well, I, yeah, um, i-it just…happened?” he says, raising his hands in a shrug. 

Maddie sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. “We are not done talking about this. But I cannot be doing this with you on an empty stomach, so c’mon. Let’s go eat,” she says, turning and walking inside. Buck takes a deep breath and follows her inside, hand coming up and rubbing at his neck, as if that will make the marks go away. 

He follows Maddie down the hallway, but stops just shy of the kitchen when he hears his mom talking about him. 

“I’m not exactly sure what you see in him. I don’t know much about you, but I am certain you could do better,” she says, waving a hand toward Eddie. Philip hums in agreement as he steps around the table to place a kiss on Margaret’s cheek. 

He feels embarrassment and shame swirling around in his chest – his own mom is telling his boyfriend (well, fake boyfriend, but whatever) that he could do better while Buck is out of the room. His mom has never been his biggest supporter, or just… a supporter by any means, but he has never seen her actively work against him like this. He is about to swing around the corner and pretend he never heard any of it when he hears Eddie’s voice. 

“There’s nobody better than Buck. He’s the best person I know,” Eddie says simply, words kind but tone flat, because his annoyance at the Buckley parents is impossible to hide. Buck can tell that he is putting on his polite voice – the one he uses on calls when he has to interact with a patient that is getting on his nerves, but he still has to help them and be nice about it – which tells Buck that he is pissed, again. 

Buck has never seen Eddie angry. Eddie doesn’t get angry. So the fact that his parents have managed to annoy the most calm, stable, patient person Buck has ever met gets under his skin in ways he can’t even begin to describe. 

Margaret laughs at that – actually laughs . “Then you don’t know very many people, do you?”

Buck walks around the corner then, and sees Margaret and Philip walking out into the dining room. Eddie is just standing there – his jaw is tight and his eyes are following the Buckley parents out of the room, annoyance written across his face. 

“You okay?” Buck asks quietly. Maddie watches them out of the corner of her eyes, pretending she’s focusing on filling up a cup of coffee, but really she’s just there to eavesdrop. 

Eddie clears his throat, gaze softening when he looks at Buck. “Yeah, yeah, I just…I don’t understand them. I have no idea how they look at you and see anything but exactly what you are,” he says, taking a deep breath. 

Buck cracks a smile. “Yeah? And what am I?” he teases…or flirts? Eddie smiles back, shaking his head. 

“You’re a dork,” he says, voice thick with fondness. He catches Buck’s eye. “But you’re my dork,” he continues, bumping his shoulder into Buck. Buck flushes, looking over at Maddie, seeing her standing there, smiling softly at them, all pretenses of “making a coffee” forgotten. 

They hear the tell-tale patter of Jee’s feet again, and brace themselves as she comes flying in the kitchen. She opens her arms wide and runs full speed into them, wrapping an arm around one of Buck’s legs and one of Eddie’s. Buck grips onto Eddie’s elbow as Eddie holds onto the counter to keep them both from tumbling to the floor. 

“Uncle Eddie, can you help me pour some juice? Grandma said I’ll just make a mess,” Jee asks, looking up at him with a little pout on her face. 

“Absolutely. C’mon, we don’t want breakfast getting cold,” he says, grabbing her tiny hand in his massive one, leading her through the kitchen door to the dining room, followed by Chimney and Maddie. 

Buck takes one last big breath, and then swings the door to the dining room open. He takes in the table – there's a bowl of eggs, a platter of biscuits, plates of sausage and bacon, a stack of buttered toast with a side of jelly, and a bottle of syrup in the middle of the table. The table has been set for them already, ceramic dishes at every space except one. Margaret and Philip are already sitting at the two ends of the table, and Maddie is sitting next to Margaret. 

Margaret looks up from where she is sitting, finally getting her eyes on Buck for the first time since he got here twenty minutes ago, and shrieks. 

“Oh, my god, Evan, what the hell is on your neck?” 

Chapter Text

Buck’s hand flies to his neck, face a deep red. He had already forgotten about the marks Eddie left there, and he sees Maddie cringe out of the corner of his eye as he stares at his mom, embarrassment coursing through his veins. 

Margaret's shriek pulled the attention of Chim, Jee and Eddie from where they were “getting the wiggles out” by the window –  Jee gets a little impatient and squirrely when she has to be still for a long period of time, so they have taken to shaking out all her wiggles right before she has to sit still. It’s a little silly, but it helps her a lot and they have a lot of fun. Every time Buck sees it, he's filled with warmth that Jee has two parents who love and understand her despite her mistakes. He is so glad that she will never have to feel the way he has felt his whole life, the way he feels right now – wholly shamed and embarrassed over nothing . 

He's a grown man, and he knows that, but there's some part of him deep down inside that still craves their approval, their affection. He knows that if there was anything he could have done to earn it, he would have it already. But it's never been about him , it's always been about them – their inability to move on, to process grief, to open their hearts again, to love equally and fairly. 

Chim walks over toward the table – the man is the biggest gossip Buck has ever met – while Eddie stays dancing with Jee. The sight loosens a bit of the anxiety in Buck’s chest, making it a bit easier to breathe. He lowers his hands, fidgeting with the hem of his t-shirt. 

There's a sputtering noise coming from his left, and he looks over to see Chim staring at him, eyes damn near popping out of his head, mouth opening and closing like a fish. He looks at Buck, whips his head to look at Eddie, and whips it back to look at Buck. His hand reaches out to steady himself on the back of Maddie's chair. 

If Buck wasn't in this situation in front of his parents , he would be cracking up at how baffled Chim looks – even with his parents on both sides of him, he has to make the conscious effort to feel his features schooled into a neutral expression and press his laughter down. 

“Evan, tell me that's not what I think,” Philip says, rage barely concealed in his voice. 

“How am I supposed to know what you think?” Buck responds. He cringes inwardly. He can’t help it. Every time he’s around his parents he feels like he’s 16 again and he acts like it. He can’t even necessarily tell them that he has grown up because they never see it – he never lets them. The suffocating feeling he gets around them regresses him right back to his teenage self. 

How are they supposed to know he has changed if he can never prove it – can never keep his head on straight long enough to get the chance. He takes a deep breath – this week is the week to show them that he has grown up, that he is no longer the young, childish boy they used to know but a steady, stable man he has grown into. 

He clears his throat. “Sorry, um, it was an accident. I’ll cover them up before the party later. M-Maddie can help me,” he says, voice void of fluctuation, shooting a pleading look at Maddie, muscles relaxing when she nods her agreement, although she doesn’t look happy about it. 

He can feel Eddie’s gaze on him rather than see it. He uses all his self restraint to keep his eyes from flicking toward him. 

Margaret rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Evan. Honestly, I don’t know why we were expecting anything different from you. You’ve always made wrong decisions at the wrong time. It was foolish of us to think you had changed at all. You may look like an adult, but inside, you’re still just that young, idiot boy making bad choices on purpose as a cry for help. Hate to break it to you dear, but nobody is coming to your rescue. Start acting like a grown up, and maybe then you can find a nice girl to settle down with, not this joke of a partner–”

“Don’t you dare talk about him like that!” Buck interrupts, anger erupting at her words about Eddie. 

“I can’t believe you were so irresponsible as to let this happen, I mean, come on, Evan, what would our friends think if they saw what a freak you are. I can’t even look at you right now,” she says, voice icy, expression unimpressed. 

The door to the kitchen swings shut and Buck knows Eddie has left the room, taking his sense of stability and tie to warmth and comfort with him. Jee climbs up on her seat, settling in now that she’s done wiggling. 

Philip chuckles to himself before he speaks. “Evan, do we need to get you a paper plate, too? Since you want to act like a child, maybe you should eat like one.” Margaret laughs at his Buck doesn’t care, can’t care about anything. He thinks his brain walked out of the room with Eddie, and all that matters to him right now is making sure Eddie is okay. 

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” and then he turns, leaving the room abruptly. Buck pushes open the door and stumbles inside, hearing Margaret’s sharp words behind him, but not listening. 

He sees Eddie leaning over the counter, hands gripping the edges tightly. “Eddie…you okay?” 

Eddie laughs, but the sound is hollow, flat. “No, Buck, no , I’m not okay.”

Buck steps close to him, almost within reach, but not quite. Buck’s fingertips flex, aching to touch Eddie, but not wanting to cross a line, trying to stay within his boundaries. “What’s the matter?” he asks softly. 

“Why do you let them do this to you?” 

Buck doesn’t have to ask what he means – he is painfully aware of what Eddie’s talking about. “They’re my parents . Come on, Eddie, I know you know what this is like for me,” he says, feeling defeated. 

“I do, Buck, I know exactly what it’s like, but that is exactly why I’m having such a hard time with this. You don’t deserve to be treated like this ,” Eddie says, gesturing around the house. 

“Do you know how much I had to bite my tongue when your parents came to try and take Chris?” 

“ Yes , but–”

“But nothing, Eddie. This is the same thing . Please , Eddie, it’s easiest if you just let it roll off your back. You can’t let it bother you, you’ll drive yourself insane.” 

“ They’re driving me insane. The was they treat you makes me fucking crazy ,” he rants, spinning toward Buck and throwing up his hands. 

“I know, I know and I’m sorry , the way they are talking about you isn’t fair, but I–” 

Eddie shakes his head, interrupting. “ No , Buck, it’s not about me . They aren’t talking about me and even if they did , I don’t care . What I do care about is how they are making you feel. I–” he signs, rubbing his hands over his face. “I won’t say anything. I’ll stay here and be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect gentleman to their friends, to them …but I need you to know – you deserve so much better. You know that, right?” Eddie says, voice a little desperate. Buck opens his mouth to respond, but Eddie keeps going. 

“You deserve to have a house that actually feels like a home, you deserve to have a family that actually gives a shit about you, that actually cares about your happiness and well-being, a family that sits with you at your worst and celebrates every win. You deserve a-a family that–” 

“I do,” Buck says, interrupting. He feels like his heart is just about to fucking burst , and he cannot stand to listen to Eddie say another kind word about him. Eddie’s hands drop out of the air where he was waving them around as he spoke, expression souring adorably. 

“No, Buck they do not–” 

“Not them.” 

Eddie still looks confused, eyebrows scrunching up and head tilting to the side making Buck chuckle. 

“ You , Chris, the 118, Maddie. I have that family, Eddie. And you all mean a whole hell of a lot more to me than anyone here ever could. At the end of the day, I don’t care about them because I have you ,” Buck says. Eddie’s expression softens, gaze warm like brownies. 

“Oh,” Eddie says, voice rough. 

“Yeah, oh ,” Buck teases, bumping his fist into Eddie’s shoulder gently. “ Now are you good? Because I’m fucking starving .” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I’m good,” Eddie says, taking a deep breath. 

“You head on out, I-I’m gonna go cover these up,” he says, gesturing toward his neck. 

“No.” 

“What?” 

“Don’t.” 

“D-Don’t? Why ?”

Eddie steps closer to Buck, inches away from touching. His warm breath fans over Buck’s lips and they part, trying to taste it in the air. 

“I put those on you for a reason,” Eddie says, voice low, eyes dark. 

“Yeah? And what’s that?” Buck whispers. Eddie reaches up, gripping Buck’s chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilting his head to the side, exposing his neck. 

“Because you’re mine. Need everyone to know that,” he says, lowering his mouth to Buck’s neck. Buck shivers when Eddie’s lips make contact with his skin, and then he’s clamping his mouth shut to stifle any noise as Eddie’s teeth sink into his skin, putting a fresh mark among the others. Eddie removes his teeth and presses kisses around the bite. 

“Don’t cover them. At least not for breakfast. Let me admire my work next to that pretty face as long as possible,” he murmurs, lips still pressed to Buck’s skin. 

Buck shuffles forward just the tiniest bit, needing more contact with Eddie. Buck gasps and Eddie chuckles as they both feel Buck’s hardness between them at the same time. Eddie presses one final kiss to Buck’s neck and steps back, releasing him. 

“Not time for number four yet, sorry, Buck,” he winks, slipping around Buck and disappearing through the door. Buck takes a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart and adjusts himself in his pants before walking back into the room behind Eddie. 

He braces himself for his mom to pick up where she left off, berating him about how disgusting he looks, but…nothing. It’s then that he realizes his mom hardly ever looks at him. She isn’t saying anything because she isn’t even looking in his direction – she never does, really. She doesn’t notice that the marks are still there, and she certainly doesn’t notice that there is a new, fresh bite right in the center. 

Unfortunately for him, Maddie and Chimney are far more observant than either of his parents, and they both clock it as soon as Buck sits down. Maddie grins so wide Buck feels like he can count her teeth from across the table, and Chim is staring at Buck and Eddie with his eyes squinted, like he’s trying to solve a mystery. Buck glances over at Eddie and sees a smug smirk on his lips, tips of his ears turning red. 

They make it through the rest of breakfast civilly, Buck and Eddie saying a combined three words total. Eddie’s arm is slung over the back of Buck’s chair, fingertips rubbing small circles on his back as he listens to Jee babble about her new pre-school. 

“Alright,” Philip sighs as he stands. “Breakfast is over, time for you two to go. We’ll see you at the party,” he says, eyeing Buck and Eddie. 

“Wait, what?” Maddie asks, looking at her dad with confusion. 

“They came, they ate, what else do you want them to do? They don’t need to stay here. We agreed to attend the events together. That’s it. I won’t tolerate them in my house any longer than they need to be,” he says, throwing an exasperated hand in their direction. 

Maddie’s eyebrows scrunch and she looks at Buck – he just shakes his head. It’s not worth the fight, and they both know that. They see each other all the time at home, it’s not like this is his only time to visit with Maddie, Chim and Jee, or he would be fighting like hell to stay. But, as it stands, he also doesn’t want to be in this house any longer than he has to be, despite the fact that three of his favorite people are staying here. 

“Right. What time is the party?” Buck asks, scooching his own chair back so he can stand, Eddie following his lead. 

“Three o’clock this afternoon. No need to pick them up, we’ll drive. Meet you there,” Margaret says, flapping her hand at them in a goodbye, not even looking in their direction. 

“See you later, kiddo. Love you!” Buck says, leaning down to give Jee a kiss on the top of her head. 

Eddie steps up next, pressing a kiss to her cheek with a mwah . Buck’s chest clenches at the sight, and he dutifully ignores it, waving at Maddie and Chimney as he grabs Eddie’s hand and heads down the hallway. 

It takes until the front door, until he reaches to open it, that he realizes he grabbed Eddie’s hand . And Eddie let him, finger interlocking easily, naturally . 

He drops Eddie’s hand like it burned him shaking it slightly. “S-Sorry, about that,” he says, clearing his throat and opening the front door. 

Eddie waits until they’re standing on the porch with the door closed behind them before he grips Buck’s elbow, stopping him, pulling him around so he can look at Buck’s bright blue eyes. 

“You know it’s okay, right?” Eddie asks, looking down at his toe scuffing into the concrete, suddenly embarrassed. 

“What’s okay?” 

“You can hold my hand. We’re dating this week and I–” he gulps, mouth dry. “I like physical touch, so if we’re going to be realistic , I-I need you to touch me,” he rasps. 

He feels… vulnerable . And confused . Because ever since he rubbed up against Buck two days ago, he has felt truly insane . He feels he’s been lit on fire – his every nerve ending has been tingling for two days and he only feels settled and whole when he’s touching Buck. He can’t keep his fucking hands off of Buck, even when he tries. He has never felt the burning need to touch someone like this in his life . It’s like he’s floating up in space, like he’s untethered, un hinged , unless he’s physically touching Buck. 

Feeling Buck underneath his fingertips grounds him, eases the tension in his chest. He’s been around  Buck for seven years, and he’s realizing the only difference right now is the fact that he’s letting himself notice how bad he wants to touch Buck. He’s always been a physical touch person – well…maybe he’s just been a Buck touch person. His body always finds a way to ground itself by touching Buck . A shoulder, a knee, thighs pressed together, fingertips pressing into his as he passes by, hand on his shoulder. Huh. Well, of course best friends are comfortable around each other like that. He has just never had a best friend before Buck so he didn’t know. That makes perfect sense. Of course he would have to build to that place with the women he dates, needing to build the foundation of their relationship and connection before he feels comfortable enough to touch them freely. And if he’s really being honest, they never really got to that point before the whole relationship was over. 

He has also never felt so horny in his life either, has never felt the way the desire has been coursing through his veins, the need – undeniable, unimaginable, unable to be ignored. He just doesn't know why. 

He thinks back to when things first started with Shannon - fumbling, shaky hands, nerves and pure adrenaline leading the charge. He never felt this raw, primal, animalistic need that he feels right now. He thought when he got here, maybe it had been from the plane - some sort of pressure change that had fucked with his brain – but now... He makes a mental note to google altitude sickness later. 

He is brought back to the present moment by Buck making a choking sound. Eddie looks at him, smirk growing on his face. "What's the matter, Buck? Scared?" 

Eddie watched Buck close his eyes briefly and take a deep breath. When their eyes connect again, Buck's are dark , pupils blown wide. 

"Don't test me, Eddie. If you want the full Boyfriend Buck experience, I'll give it to you," he says, voice rough. He steps closer, toe to toe with Eddie, and whispers, "are you sure you're up for that?" 

A shiver works its way down Eddie's spine, and when he notices, a wide mischievous grin breaks out.

Buck leans in so close Eddie can feel his lips against the shell of his ear as Buck continues. "I don't think you can handle me, Eds." 

"I want to," he says in a rush, desperate for this feeling to last, desperate for more . 

Buck chuckles, the vibrations nearly enough to pass through the remaining inch of space between their chests. Eddie leans into it, and it's his turn to be surprised at this hardness, face flushing as he and Buck both feel it at the same time. Buck steps back, smug smile on his face. He reaches out and grabs Eddie's hand again, tugging him to the car. "C'mon." 

"Where are we going?" Eddie huffs, following willingly. 

"Home. Can't make you come on my parents’ porch, can I?" 

Eddie makes it fully into the passenger's seat before Buck's words truly register. 

"Wait, what ?" 

Buck looks over at him quickly, confused about what Eddie is confused about, and backs out of the driveway. 

"Well, let's see, I think you owe me two to catch up and ... it's not like we have anything better to do," he says, shrugging. Eddie shifts in his seat, excitement and nerves at war in his stomach. 

He never normally takes control in sex - at least he never used to. With his past partners, he was always so focused on making sure he was making them feel good, focused on trying to figure out how to make it feel good for him , that he never really had the free brain capacity to want to take charge. He's always just let it happen or allowed them to take the lead - even to a fault. 

Shannon liked being in charge. Liked being on top, ordering him around. And Eddie didn't care - he was still learning what sex was, learning what to do. Shannon was there to tell him exactly how to make her feel good and the least Eddie could do was listen - so he did. 

With Ana and Marisol, they wanted him to have a bit more ... initiative, a bit more passion . They wanted him to take the lead, wanted him to figure out their buttons on his own and well... Eddie was never really interested in doing that, never had the desire to see what made them tick, what made them fall apart . 

But with Buck, the desire to lead, to control, to learn, to tame - it came naturally. His new favorite Buck was whiny, naked and shaking under his fingertips. And now that he has had that Buck - and knows he only gets to have him for six more days - the thought of letting go, letting him be in charge? Eddie was struggling with it. 

He doesn't want to waste his chance at feeling this - the power, the head rush that comes with Buck falling apart all because of him . But there's also that part of him that wants Buck to take control, that wants to do whatever Buck wants him to do, wants to let Buck have the same feeling he gets. Plus, it's Buck . 

Buck drives with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other hand lands high up on Eddie's thigh. Eddie keeps his eyes dutifully on the road, focusing on keeping his breathing even. Buck rubs his fingers against Eddie's jean clad thigh almost absentmindedly, loving the way the muscles tense beneath his fingertips. 

Buck reaches his pinky out, running it down the length of Eddie's hardness, and placing it back on his thigh. At the sensation, Eddie digs his teeth into his bottom lip to try and stifle his gasp. Based on the chuckle Buck lets out, he doesn't succeed. Bucks finger reaches out again, trailing the line of Eddie's zipper. Eddie grips onto the car door to ground himself, head tipping back with his eyes closed, lost in the pleasure that the simple touch of Buck is providing. 

Buck works his way from one finger lazily toying with Eddie, to full on stroking him through his jeans by the time they finish the short drive to the hotel and pull into the parking lot. Eddie is still biting into his lip to keep quiet, but his hips are thrusting up to meet Buck's motions. His breath is coming short and fast, and he can feel himself leaking into his boxers, but he feels a small sense of satisfaction that he didn't let any noise escape. 

That is, until Buck gives him a squeeze as he puts the car into park, guttural grunt pushed out of his chest. Buck is unbuckling his own seatbelt and opening the car door in record time. Eddie lifts his head at the noise, blinking against the bright light, disoriented, head still fuzzy with pleasure. 

"You coming or what?" Buck asks, leaning down to look at Eddie through the open car door. He straightens and closes the door. He swears that he could have heard something like " was trying to ", but he couldn't be sure. He feels a sensation bubble up in his chest that he was able to make Eddie feel like that - pride, he recognizes. 

Eddie undoes his own seatbelt and follows Buck, trying to ignore the fact that he's still rock hard. One look at the way Buck is walking, Eddie can tell that he is hard too and that knowledge sends excitement flooding through him. 

Buck wraps his arm around Eddie's shoulders as they walk, hips bumping together. Eddie sucks in a small breath when Buck's fingertips rub over his nipple through his shirt as they enter the hotel lobby. When Buck does it again , a little firmer this time, Eddie knows he's doing this on purpose, teasing him. 

Eddie presses the button for the elevator, and when it opens to reveal an empty space, Buck pinches his nipple and then slides his arm off of Eddie and enters the elevator. He presses the button for their floor and leaning against the wall in the corner. Eddie unfreezes and follows him into the elevator, feeling a bit dazed. 

The doors take forever , but as soon as they are closed and the two are alone, Buck springs off his resting point, pressing his palms on either side of Eddie's head, caging him against the wall. 

Buck walks forward until their bodies meet, clothed cocks rubbing together, and they both let out a moan, breath mingling in the space between their lips. 

Buck dips his head, pressing kisses down Eddie's jaw and neck. Eddie's head drops to the side, giving him more space, more access, and Buck stops holding back – his tongue and teeth meet Eddie's skin in a frenzy . Eddie's hands fly out to grip Buck's hips pulling him closer, grinding up into him from where he's pinned against the wall. 

Eddie's moaning at the sensation of Buck's teeth in his neck, and he is overcome with his own urge to bite into Buck. He turns his head and clamps his jaw around Buck's forearm that's next to his head. Buck groans and bites him back harder , pressing his hips into Eddie in a slow, dirty grind. 

At the fifth ping of the elevator, the one signaling the stop on their floor, Buck takes three big steps back, chest heaving, eyes glued to the floor. He leads the way down the hallway, swiping into their room and walking inside, Eddie following close behind him. 

Once the door clicks shut behind him, Eddie turns to look at Buck expectantly, but Buck isn't watching him - he's walking over to his duffle bag and pulling out a small toiletry sized bag. He looks at Eddie briefly, eyes landing somewhere on the floor in between them. 

"I'm, uh, gonna go shower." 

" What ?" Eddie asks. He's never been this hard before – he doesn't know if that can impact brain functioning, but he feels confident there's no way Buck just said he was going to shower . 

"Um... was gonna take a shower?" Buck mumbles again, cheeks turning pink. 

"You showered right before we left." 

"Yeah, well, I-I need another one." 

"Buck, what's in the bag?" 

At his question, Buck's cheeks turn pinker, embarrassment clear across his face. 

"Nothing. Shower stuff," he says waving a hand through the air. 

"Oh, really? Thought all your shower stuff was already in there from this morning?" Eddie reminds him, stepping closer to Buck slowly. 

Buck's mouth opens to argue, but Eddie doesn't even let him start, knowing that whatever he was about to say is a lie. 

"Open the bag, Buck." 

"No." 

"No?" Eddie says, raising an eyebrow. At his tone, Buck's eyes flick up, surprise crossing his face quickly once he realizes just how close Eddie has gotten. 

"Eddie, c'mon, it's private ." 

Eddie shakes his head. "I don't think so. Open the bag," he repeats slowly. 

Buck's blush is disappearing under the collar of his t-shirt and Eddie knows that whatever is about to be in this bag is going to make his mind explode . 

Buck sets the bag on the bed and slowly unzips it. He doesn't flip the lid, just opens it all the way, and then turns his head in the other direction as if he can't bear to see the contents of the bag in front of Eddie. 

Eddie has never been more curious in his life . He steps up flush to Buck, choking back a groan when their cocks bump together gently, reveling in the way Buck's whine sends goosebumps chasing across his skin. One hand grips Buck's waist and the other hand snakes out and flips the lid over. 

Eddie's suddenly thankful that he's holding onto Buck, otherwise he's sure he would have fallen to the floor. It's a miracle he doesn't come right then and there. 

Inside Buck's little bag lies another bottle of lube, a silicone cock ring, an anal plug, and two dildos - one long, thick and pink, and one slimmer, smaller and purple with a matching remote. Eddie stares at the contents of the bag, and mentally runs through every phone number he has memorized – anything to get his mind off what his eyes are seeing before he comes in his pants right now . 

Eddie turns his head toward Buck's, who is still bright red and avoiding eye contact. 

"Buck," he raps, throat incredibly dry. "Look at me." 

Buck does, silently raising his eyes, sheepish expression on his face. 

"Were you going to go masturbate in the bathroom?" 

Buck visibly gulps, hesitating. He seems to figure out that he's not going to get away with lying, because his eyes fall back to the floor and he nods once. 

"Without me?" 

Buck's eyes snap right back to his, bright blue and red rimmed, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His lips part, and Eddie's eyes are drawn downward, gaze caught on how plump and pink and perfect they are. 

His eyes flick back up to Buck's and something in him breaks . 

"You were going to go give yourself number four? Alone ? I don't think so. That's not what we agreed upon. I'm supposed to give you number four, I'm supposed to be there, I'm supposed to see it, to feel it. I thought you were a good boy for me , Buck, I thought you knew better than to do something like this. Sneaking away to have an orgasm? God, so fucking pathetic ," he says. As soon as the words leave his mouth he's afraid he's gone too far, crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed. 

But the groan that leaves Buck’s lips has his cock twitching in his pants. Buck liked that. Eddie feels his last grasp on his self-control slip through his fingers. He reaches up, running his fingers through Buck’s curls. Buck leans his head into the touch, following Eddie’s fingers. 

“Why were you going to hide?” he asks, leaning down and nibbling at the spot behind Buck’s ear, sending shivers down his back. 

“I-I wanted to come, that's kind of a private thing , you know?” Buck says, sass weaving into his words even as he's panting and hard for Eddie. Eddie's fingers in his hair tighten minutely as he's overcome with the desperate urge to spank the attitude right out of the man in front of him. Instead, he continues to gently work Buck’s skin between his teeth as he makes his way down his neck. 

“Private from everyone but your boyfriend, Buck.” 

“You're not my–” Buck cuts off as Eddie bites into him. 

“Don't. Don't finish that sentence. This week, this week , I am. You're mine, Buck. Say it. Say that you're my boyfriend and that you're all mine ,” he demands, voice low but soft, breath ghosting across Buck’s wet neck. 

Buck grunts softly, and Eddie can hear him swallow before he rasps out. “You're my boyfriend, Eddie. I'm yours.” 

“Again.” 

“ Eddie ,” he whines, knees nearly buckling. Eddie grips him on the hips to keep him steady. 

“Say it again , Buck.” 

“You're my boyfriend and I’m yours,” he whispers. 

“Good boy, Buck. You're so good for me. You just made a mistake, and that's okay. But now you know , now you know that this week your come belongs to me , your pleasure belongs to me , you belong to me . No more hiding. Do you understand?” he asks, pulling back and cupping Buck’s face, rubbing his thumb on Buck’s cheek, searching his eyes. They are bright with unshed tears, red around the edges. God, he's beautiful. 

Eddie's eyes flick up to Buck’s birthmark and down to his lips – the most beautiful shade of pink that Eddie now knows matches his tip perfectly when he's hard and horny like he is right now. 

Eddie has a sudden urge to capture Buck’s lips with his own and his gut clenches painfully. He can't kiss Buck – kissing another man is-is gay . And this is just two friends helping each other out. Immersing themselves in the role to make it more believable. But wanting to kiss Buck changes things. Changes it in a way Eddie is not ready or willing to accept or process, so instead of leaning down to press his lips like he wants , he pushes back the urge, swallowing it down. He's already doing what he wants more than he deserves, and he already gets to have Buck in more ways than anyone else. That has to be enough. This is the line he won't cross – he can't cross. He reaches up and presses his lips to Buck’s birthmark instead, needing to feel his skin against his lips before he looses his fucking mind. 

“What were you gonna use?” he asks softly. 

“The, uh, the plug,” he says, voice scratchy. Eddie hums his understanding, tightening his fingers in Buck’s hair, pulling his head back to expose his neck. His teeth scrape gently against Buck’s jaw, up to his ear. 

“Not today, B, sorry. Get naked and lay down. Don’t touch,” he whispers, biting Buck’s earlobe gently, turning and walking into the bathroom. He doesn’t really have anything to be doing in here, he just wanted to give Buck time to strip and settle on the bed, wanted to see if he would listen. 

Once Eddie disappears into the bathroom, Buck rips his shirt off like it's on fire . He pulls his pants and underwear down in one fell swoop, hard cock slapping against his stomach softly. He looks down and sees that he is soaked , too glistening obscenely in the light of the hotel room. 

He is nearly painfully hard, despite having come three times already this morning. His whole cock is flushed a shade of pink he has never seen before and he has to resist the urge to take himself in his hands. 

Instead, he continues to do what Eddie asked of him – lay down. He crawls onto the bed, laying on his back with his legs spread wide. Eddie is taking forever, and Buck is getting impatient. 

Buck lifts his head, looking down his body at his hard cock. He thinks back to earlier this morning when Eddie was between his legs with his cock in his pretty mouth and his cock jumps . He slides one hand down his chest, hovering over his hardness, wanting to touch himself so badly , but the need to be good, to be good for Eddie , outweighs whatever other desire he has. 

Buck has gotten good at denying himself. Take this morning for example. He had wanted nothing more than to pull Eddie's perfect lips off his cock and crush them against his own, wanted to feel the slick glide of their tongues as they tangled together. But he didn't. He knew he couldn't, so he didn't, even though he had never wanted anything more in his life. 

Kissing was… intimate. For couples. For real couples. Which, despite Eddie's insistence that they are boyfriends this week, is one thing Buck can't let himself want, can't let himself have , because knowing what Eddie’s lips feel like, what they taste like? There would be no coming back from that for Buck and that is the one place he will not go. Eddie's friendship is too important.  

Buck pushes all of his desires into that locked box in the back of his mind, choosing to focus on the present moment, on the sensations he does get to get from Eddie. He slaps both hands down onto the bed, fingers twisting in the sheet. This he can do. He can be good. 

In the bathroom, Eddie leans his hands on the sink, looking up to the mirror, taking in the sight in front of him. His hair is flopping into his eyes, so he pushes it back and it just flops right back. His cheeks are flushed, pupils blown wide, eyes dark. He looks hungry . 

Eddie’s fingers tighten around the counter, and his body aches to go touch Buck right now, but he needs to wait, needs to push Buck to the edge, see if he breaks. He waits another painful 30 seconds, and then he can’t take it anymore. 

He walks out of the bathroom quickly, eyes immediately finding the bed. Buck is laying, sprawled out, limbs spread wide across the bed, fingers gripping the sheets. Heat pools in his gut at the sight, smile spreading across his lips. He stalks over to the bed, looking down at Buck with pride and excitement. He stands and watches as Buck writhes , wiggling under Eddie’s gaze, eyes screwed shut. 

“Eddie,” he whines, swinging his head in Eddie’s direction, blinking up at Eddie slowly. 

Eddie climbs onto the bed, straddling Buck, but keeping his body lifted, avoiding contact. Buck is panting , and Eddie wants more . He leans down, sinking his teeth into Buck’s shoulder, eliciting a moan from the bigger man. His hips jerk up, searching for friction, but Eddie doesn’t give it, just presses his lips to the bite mark. 

“Such a good boy for me, right, Buck?” he murmurs against his skin. 

“Yeah, yes , Eddie, I promise, I am.” 

Eddie presses another kiss to Buck’s shoulder, and then puts another bite, right next to the first. He swirls his tongue around, sucking hard , needing to leave a bigger mark. 

“E-Eddie, I, I need–” 

“I don’t care what you need,” Eddie says, unlatching his teeth, pulling back to look Buck in the eyes. 

“What?” Buck whispers. 

“You were going to go come without me . I don’t care what you need. Right now, you’re going to give me what I need. We’ll get back to you,” Eddie says, finally lowering his body so his clothed cock rubs against Buck’s naked one, both groaning at the pressure. 

“Y-Yes, sir,” Buck grunts, hips rutting up into Eddie. The words go right to his cock, and he feels precome leaking into his boxers. 

Eddie reaches one hand up, cradling Buck’s face, sinking his thumb in Buck’s perfect mouth. His lips clamp around the digit immediately, amazingly , and it takes all of Eddie’s focus to continue speaking, although his eyes stay on Buck’s lips the entire time. 

“You’re going to fuck me. Then I’m going to get you nice and ready, and put that vibrating purple dildo in you for the party. And maybe, maybe , if you can be good, you can come when we get home,” he says, voice thick with desire. 

Buck’s back arches, groaning, hips moving faster up against Eddie. Suddenly, he freezes, and Eddie pulls his thumb out of his mouth. 

“W-Wait, when we get home ?” he asks, eyes wide. Eddie just nods.

“Eds, how the hell am I supposed to fuck you and not come?” 

“Pretty sure I saw a cock ring in that little bag of yours,” Eddie suggests. Buck’s eyes nearly roll back in his head and his cock jerks so hard Eddie can feel it even through his jeans. 

“Yeah, I thought you would like that,” Eddie chuckles. 

Eddie can't help himself – he leans down and captures one of Buck's nipples between his lips, tongue swirling around the hardened bud, causing Buck to moan and arch his back, pushing his tit further into Eddie's mouth. his hand snakes up Bucks body, rolling his other nipple between his thumb and index finger. 

Buck grinds his hips up into Eddie, chasing friction, chasing the pleasure that only Eddie can provide, and Eddie chuckles against him. 

“So fucking needy , Buck. How are you this horny? Did you forget your three orgasms already this morning?” he taunts, switching his mouth to Buck’s other nipple. 

“‘s you, Eddie. I'm horny but I'm not this horny. Swear it's gotta be you ,” Buck pants, yelping softly when Eddie bites in his nipple gently. 

Eddie leans back, looking at Buck beneath him. 

“Me, huh? Just so horny for me? Hard, leaking, desperate, pathetic just for me?” he says, trailing one finger down the center of Bucks chest. Buck is nodding before Eddie is even done talking. 

“Yea-yeah, yes , Eddie, uh, just you, only you, ‘m yours .” 

At those words, Eddie climbs off his lap and Buck whines at the loss, making Eddie chuckle again. 

“Don't worry, baby, just need to grab–” he walks over to where the little black bag had been discarded, “this,” he exclaims, holding up the cock ring triumphantly. 

Buck feels a bead of precome leak out at the sight, and his eyes fall closed briefly, focusing on not blowing his load already – it's gonna be a long afternoon. 

Eddie walks back over to the bed with the ring and the bottle of lube, tossing the lube onto the bed next to Buck. He leans over and gently slides the ring into place, giving Buck an extra squeeze around the base, making Buck grunt. 

Eddie pats his thigh twice. “C’mon, switch places,” he says, straightening up and reaching behind him with one hand to grip his shirt collar, pulling it swiftly over his head. Buck sits up and watches Eddie unbutton and unzip his jeans, pushing them and his boxers to his ankles, stepping out of them. 

Buck keeps his eyes on Eddie as he navigates off the bed, not wanting to miss a single second of Eddie's perfection on display just for him . 

Once fully naked, Eddie rolls onto the bed, both hands resting behind his head, making sure he can keep his eyes tracking Buck. Buck stands at the foot of the bed, gaze wandering over his body from head to toe, staring at Eddie in awe. 

He stares so long Eddie starts to shift under his attention, cock leaking , precome pooling on his stomach. Buck’s hands land on Eddie’s ankles, thumbs rubbing at the sensitive skin there gently. 

“What do you want me to do?” Buck asks, hint of uncertainty in his voice. 

“Whatever you want, you just can’t come.” 

Buck climbs onto the bed with that permission, ready to do to Eddie what Eddie had done to him . He kneels between Eddie's legs, kissing and nipping at his neck, working his way down to his chest. Buck captures one nipple in his mouth and the other between his fingers at the same time, causing Eddie to arch off the bed with a gasp. Buck works both buds to stiffened peaks, pinching and pulling with his fingers, swirling and nipping with his tongue and teeth. 

He spends a lot of time and attention biting and sucking his way across Eddie's neck, chest and shoulders. 

“Harder, Buck, please , teeth in me,” Eddie says, voice breathy, needy . Buck obliges, sinking his teeth brutally into Eddie, beautiful groan leaving Eddie's throat at the sensation. Buck soothes the area with kicks and kisses, feeling the indents his teeth left in Eddie's skin. 

When he leans back again, Eddie's entire torso is covered in red splotches and puffy bite marks, wet with Buck’s saliva. He finally understands why Eddie didn't want him to cover his neck at breakfast – he never wants to take his eyes off the masterpiece he's created in Eddie's skin. 

When Buck’s eyes finally lift to Eddie's face, his breath catches in his throat. Eddie is flushed, panting, and his eyes are blazing – he looks like he wants to devour Buck whole . Or be devoured whole. 

“Keep going, please ,” he says, voice cracking around the edges. 

“You're so fucking pretty , Eds,” Buck whispers, voice reverent, like he's in the presence of something sacred . And he is , really, because Eddie, marked up, wet, naked, wanting, beneath him is something sacred – his new favorite site in the world. 

At his words, Eddie's eyes nearly roll back in his head, and Buck gets a smug look on his face. He leans over Eddie, making sure there is still space between them. He captures Eddie's earlobe between his teeth, tugging on it gently, loving the way Eddie's moan sounds in his ear. 

“Aren't you, Eddie? So pretty and perfect for me,” he whispers in Eddie's ear, pressing a kiss to his neck as Eddie's hips jerk up, uncontrolled, seeming friction. Heat pools in Buck’s stomach, and he decides to test the line, see how he can push Eddie's buttons. 

“My pretty girl,” he growls into Eddie's neck, nipping lightly, and Eddie releases a punched out grunt, arching off the bed, hips lifting again. Buck takes pity on him, lowering himself slowly until their naked cocks meet in a slick glide, both releasing soft moans at the sensation. Buck can't stop – he can't breathe , but he can't stop. 

He is attacking Eddie's neck, switching from side to side. “So perfect, Eddie, you're so perfect. God, you feel so good,” he murmurs into Eddie’s skin. Eddie's hand lands on the back of Buck’s head, fingers weaving through the curls and finding purchase there, using the sensation to ground them both. 

“More, Buck, please , need more,” Eddie says, rutting up into Buck. Buck chuckles and nods. Eddie closes his eyes as that familiar wave of guilt floods him – but this time, it feels different. It's not just guilt about being with another man – he actually is starting to care less about that, even though he's straight and should probably be panicking about that more. And it's not even just that it's Buck , although that's still a significant part – worry about how this could change their relationship, how this could ruin the most important relationship in his life, second only to his son. He can't exactly place it, but he feels like he's lying. He shoves the thoughts out of his head l, immersing himself in the sensation of Buck . Thinking can happen later – he's busy right now. 

“I got you, Eds, I’ll give you more. Promise,” he says. He presses one last kiss on Eddie's chest, right over his heart. 

He places kisses down Eddie's stomach slowly, moving down Eddie's body. Buck laps up the precome that had leaked onto Eddie's skin, running his tongue over Eddie's slit to get every last drop, making Eddie gasp. Eddie is expecting Buck to continue on his cock, but Buck continues to slip lower and lower. 

He ends up flat on his stomach in between Eddie's legs, his own long legs hanging off the bed. He grips Eddie's calves and pulls them up and apart, planting Eddie's feet on the mattress, legs open wide, giving him the access he was looking for. 

Buck sucks one ball gently into his mouth, and Eddie groans, throwing his head back, hand landing back in Buck’s curls to ground himself. 

Buck’s mouth trails lower still, and Eddie's eyes fly open when he feels Buck’s tongue circle around his rim. Eddie’s breath is coming in pants and his every nerve ending is burning with need. Buck pulls back entirely and Eddie semi-successfully swallows the whine that tries to escape. 

“Turn over,” he instructs. Eddie flips immediately, and Buck’s hands tug at his hips to get him exactly where he wants – face down ass up in the center of the bed. Buck sits back, just watching his favorite sight in the world until Eddie starts to get impatient, wiggling his ass. Buck reaches up, running his fingers lightly down Eddie's back, watching goosebumps erupt. 

Buck leans down, sinking his teeth into the meat of Eddie’s ass, causing him to make a noise that's half yelp, half moan. 

“ Fuck, Buck. Again,” he pleads, words partially muffled by the sheets. 

Buck is happy to oblige, biting into Eddie's left ass cheek as his hand reaches up, slapping across his right one, sharp sound splitting the air, mixing with his noises of pleasure. Buck presses a sloppy kiss to both bite marks, and his hands cup Eddie's cheeks, parting them gently, exposing Eddie's hole. 

Buck leans over Eddie's entrance, letting a large glob of spit drop from his lips, watching as it drips perfectly down Eddie’s crack. Buck lets go of one cheek, giving it another slap, watching the way it jiggles obscenely, before spreading Eddie open again. With one last kiss to his lower back, Buck flattens his tongue, licking over Eddie's puckered hole. 

Eddie can't hold back, even if he wanted to, noises escaping him freely, pleasure nearly overwhelming. Buck continues to lick around his hole, lapping at his rim hungrily. Buck takes forever , teasing him relentlessly, tongue circling and toying with his rim for several long minutes. 

Buck’s tongue points, working its way past the tight ring of muscle. Once Buck’s tongue enters him, Eddie's grip tightens in the sheet, ass clenching, making Buck moan, vibrations shooting right to Eddie's core. 

Buck’s tongue starts thrusting into him, wiggling around, exploring, and Eddie gets lost in it. Buck is relentless with his tongue, and Eddie starts to thrust back against him. Eddie grunts when Buck’s index finger works its way in alongside Buck’s tongue. 

“Mm, Buck, need more,” Eddie pants, rocking back against the intrusion. Buck retracts his tongue, raising his head and Eddie sobs at the loss. Buck slides in another finger, pumping into Eddie steadily. Buck fumbles with one hand to find the bottle of the club, eyes never leaving the sight of Eddie’s hole sucking in his fingers. He finds the bottle, flicks the cap open and pulls his fingers out, squirting a generous amount of lube along their length. Eddie huffs out an impatient breath, and then is crying out as Buck inserts three fingers back into him. 

He is thrusting back against Buck rapidly , and Buck is thankful he's wearing the cock ring, otherwise he feels sure he would have come just from the sight in front of him. 

Eddie's hand reaches back to him, twisting to find purchase, and Buck’s free hand clasps onto his, both gripping the other tightly. 

Buck’s fingers twist, and Eddie is letting out the most glorious sound Buck has ever heard as he nudges that perfect spot inside of him. Buck is relentless now, thrusting into him quickly, hitting that spot every time his fingers bottom out. Eddie's hand is clinging onto Buck tightly, and Buck is holding on right back. 

“Buck, ungh, gonna, fuck , I'm gonna–” Eddie chokes out. 

“C’mon, Eds, come for me. You can do it, baby, come on my fingers, Eddie, please .” 

Buck thrusts his fingers in once, twice, three more times, and Eddie is crying out, clenching around his fingers, shooting ropes of sticky white come directly onto the sheets. Buck continues his thrusts into Eddie, working him through the waves of pleasure, muscles shaking and tensing.

Buck’s thrusts slow down, but continue until Eddie is making hurt little sounds, a constant stream of ah, ah, ah falling from his lips. Eddie is panting, breathing loudly, chest heaving. Buck removes his fingers slowly, watching Eddie’s hole clench around nothing, listening to the way Eddie whines at the loss. The sound goes directly to his cock, making it jerk violently – now that he’s not wrapped up in Eddie’s pleasure entirely, he is starting to feel how painful it is to be this hard and not be able to come. There’s no way he’s going to last until they get back home, it’s just not possible. 

Eddie’s legs tremble and threaten to give out, and Buck navigates him to the side of the bed so he doesn’t lay in the pool of come below him. Eddie rolls on his side to look at Buck, face dazed and flushed, sheen of sweat across his forehead. Buck has the ridiculous urge to lick it off his face, so instead he leans over, sucking the sheet covered in Eddie’s come into his mouth, groaning as the substance floods his mouth. He hears Eddie moan above him, but he doesn’t stop, flattening his tongue and licking and sucking as much of Eddie’s come off the sheet as he can, leaving a large wet spot in its place. 

When Buck feels satisfied that all of Eddie’s come has been lapped up, he pushes himself up onto his knees, finally looking over to see Eddie watching him with heat in his eyes, stroking himself where he’s still hard – or hard again , Buck isn’t exactly sure, had been too preoccupied with the cleanup to figure it out. 

Eddie’s eyes trail downward, and he grins , when he sees how red and angry Buck is. Buck shifts under his gaze, gripping onto his thighs to keep himself from touching himself. 

“Looks painful there, Buck,” he says casually. Buck grunts in response, feeling need burning in his veins, nearly choking him. 

“Eddie, can I…could I have number four now ? Please , I do not know how I am supposed to survive this, I can’t think, I can’t breathe right now, I cannot go to a party like this, I’m literally going to die,” he begs. He feels like his cock is going to fucking explode, and his brain is not far behind. 

The only thing on his mind is Eddie , which is only fueling his desire, making him leak even more. Now that he doesn’t have the distraction of Eddie’s pleasure, he really feels like this might be the end of his life, Edmundo Diaz and a cock ring to be listed as his cause of death. 

Eddie hums thoughtfully, like he’s pondering his options, thinking over what Buck said. He continues to stroke himself, and Buck watches greadily, needing to watch even if he can’t feel.

“Do you think you’ve earned it?” Eddie asks. Buck’s eyes meet his briefly before they are pulled back down to Eddie’s cock, and he nods eagerly. 

Eddie tsks . “I don’t know, Buck, you were trying to hide from me.” 

Buck’s eyes widen, and he forces his gaze up to Eddie’s, warm, brown eyes shining with mischief. He shakes his head. “No, no, I-I was just trying to get privacy , I didn’t mean to – I didn’t know you wanted – I just needed – ugh , Eddie, no, please. I’ve been a good boy, I’ve listened to every word you’ve said, really , I-I have earned this, please.” 

“You sound so good when you beg.” 

Buck’s hips jerk into the air at those words, head dropping back on a moan. “Fuck, Eds, I literally can’t do this, I-I, fuck , my cock is going to fucking explode,” he complains. 

“It does look like it hurts already,” Eddie muses. 

“It does , Eddie, it does, it hurts .” 

Eddie sits up on his knees too, crawling over to meet Buck, settling back on his heels to match Buck, both of them looking at each other with desperation . Eddie reaches a hand up, threading his fingers through Buck’s curls, and Buck, as always, leans into the touch. 

“I can’t have that, can I, baby? You’re supposed to feel good . What’ll make you feel good, huh?” 

“Need to come,” is all Buck is able to say, all he’s able to think . Eddie chuckles, scratching lightly where his fingers are resting against Buck’s scalp. 

Eddie hums his agreement and nods, moving his hand out of Buck’s hair to cup his cheek. “Don’t think this gets you out of that vibrator. Turns out you’re just going to have five orgasms today,” he says, patting Buck’s cheek lightly. Buck whines , hips jerking. He has no idea how he is going to survive five orgasms if he is barely alive now . 

“Go ahead and lay down for me, Buck,” Edde says, scooting back to let Buck have the room to get situated. He lays on his back with his head propped up on the pillows. Eddie fumbles for the bottle of lube and pops open the cap, squirting a generous amount in his hand. He reaches out and wraps his fingers around Buck, stroking him firmly a few times to get him nice and coated, Buck grunting at the friction he’s been waiting for. 

Once Buck is lubed up, Eddie slides off the cock ring, tossing it onto the nightstand to be cleaned and replaced in a little bit. He swings his leg over Buck’s hips, reaching back to line himself up with one hand while he places the other hand on Buck’s chest. Buck is warm and solid and steady under him, which helps ease some of the nerves that have settled in his gut suddenly. 

He feels Buck’s hand reach up and brush the hair back from his eyes to no avail, it just flops right back over his forehead, and Buck’s smiles. 

“Eddie, are you sure? That you want this? You don’t have to, seriously, we’re not really dat–” he says earnestly, needing Eddie to know that it’s okay to say no , before Eddie cuts him off. 

“Tell me who you belong to,” Eddie says, dark eyes looking down at him. 

“‘M yours , Eds. All yours, I promise,” Buck whispers. 

At his words, Eddie lowers himself onto Buck, both of them letting out a moan as Buck’s head pops through the tight ring of muscle. Eddie moves slowly, sinking down, inch by inch, until Buck is bottomed out, the curve of Eddie’s ass meeting Buck’s thighs. Eddie pauses, letting himself adjust to the intrusion, and Buck waits for him patiently, hands landing on Eddie’s hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles into his skin. 

“I take back every joke I ever made about firehose . Jesus, Buck, you’re fucking massive ,” Eddie says, head tipping back. Buck’s chuckle gets caught in his throat as he looks at Eddie – he looks magnificent sitting on top of him like this. Head thrown back in pleasure, lips parted on a moan, skin flushed with a sheen of sweat, Buck’s marks and bites littering his neck and chest, hands gripping his thighs to keep himself steady. Buck wants to memorize this look, this feeling . Warmth blooms in his chest, constricting it like a tight hug, and tears prick at the back of his eyes. He blinks rapidly to clear them – now is not the time to think, to feel . He’s here to make Eddie feel good and that’s it. Thinking can happen later. 

He tests the waters, rolling his hips up slightly, just grinding up into Eddie, and he moans sweetly. 

“So fucking perfect, Eds. So tight, so good, so pretty sitting on my cock like that,” Buck says, raising his hips again. 

Eddie lifts up on his knees slowly , feeling Buck slide nearly all the way out before he lowers himself back down, matching groans echoing in the space. Buck lifts his hips to meet Eddie, and Eddie places his hands on Buck, pinning him down to the mattress. 

Eddie sets a painfully slow pace, raising and lowering seamlessly – but Buck is going insane . 

“Eddie,” he whimpers. “C’mon, faster, please .” 

Eddie says nothing, just continues his tortuous pace. Buck is losing his fucking mind , and he needs Eddie to hurry up right now . 

“So impatient, B. What, it doesn’t feel good?” Eddie teases, lowering himself over Buck, bodies flush together as he nips at his ear. 

“Feels too good. So fucking tight and good, Eddie, I–I need more , please, please ,” he says on a sob. 

“ Fuck , Buck, you fill me so fucking good.” 

Eddie picks up his pace a little, sucking another mark on Buck’s neck, and Buck swears he sees stars. Eddie speeds up until he is slamming himself down on Buck, punching moans out of the bigger man every time he bottoms out. 

“Fucking hell, Eddie, I–I’m gonna, ungh” he breaks off on a groan. 

“So big and good for me, Buck, fuck , feel so good in me, want you to come in me, c’mon, Buck, come for me,” Eddie murmurs into Buck’s neck, lips brushing his skin. 

Buck’s hips roll up into Eddie, meeting him thrust for thrust, nailing that perfect spot inside of him that has his eyes screwing up tight, uh, uh, uh’ s falling from his lips where they rest on Buck. He gets that familiar tingle in his teeth, and opens his mouth, clamping down around Buck’s shoulder. A noise is torn from Buck’s throat, as his hips stutter and Eddie feels his cock twitch, warm release spilling inside him. The feeling of Buck coming in him has his own release crashing into him like a train, come spurting into the space between them, spreading between their chests as they lie together. 

Eddie is placing chaste kisses all over Buck’s neck and jaw as they cling onto each other with trembling muscles, working through the ends of their orgasms, breathing heavily. He leans up, pressing one extra long kiss to Buck’s bright pink birthmark with an adorable mwah . Buck’s arms lift to wrap around Eddie, crushing him to his chest – not helping their already sticky situation. Eddie feels Buck’s lips in his hair, pressing kisses to the top of his head, whispering sweet nothings as they come back down to earth together. 

After a few minutes, Eddie shifts his hips, lifting off of Buck, feeling the loss of him immediately. 

“C’mon, roll over,” Buck says, tapping Eddie’s hips to get him off. Eddie feels slight disappointment at having to untangle from Buck, feeling comfortable and warm and safe in Buck’s arms, but he pushes that to the tiny box in his chest, flopping off of Buck onto his back. Buck moves immediately , and Eddie is almost concerned – something is clearly wrong, Buck has never needed to get up so fast. But before he can open his mouth to ask, Buck is navigating his way between Eddie’s legs, gripping his thighs with big hands to pull them apart. 

Buck lowers himself so he can lick around Eddie’s puffy and leaking hole, teasing at his rim as Eddie moans above him, reaching a hand down to ground himself in Buck’s curls. Buck wiggles his tongue inside, Eddie’s breath hitching as Buck’s tongue swirls around his sensitive entrance. Buck’s lips suction around Eddie’s hole, sucking his own come into his mouth. Once he gathers as much as he can, Eddie beginning to thrust back onto his tongue, pushing the bounds of overstimulation, he pulls back. He crawls up Eddie, palms landing on either side of the bed next to Eddie’s head, hovering over him. 

Eddie knows what Buck wants, but just lays there, watching him, smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Buck’s eyebrows scrunch, and he nudges Eddie gently. When Eddie fully smiles in response, Buck rolls his eyes, reaching one hand up to cup Eddie’s face. He uses his thumb, pushing on Eddie’s smiling bottom lip, pulling his mouth open. Eddie follows his motions easily, and even sticks his tongue out for Buck. Buck lets the mixture of his spit and come fall from his lips onto Eddie’s tongue, watching his eyes flutter shut, swallowing dutifully. 

Buck drops his head, nuzzling into Eddie’s neck. One of Eddie’s hands is pressed against the small of his back, and the other strokes through his curls. Buck’s lips are pressed against Eddie’s neck – not moving, just resting. 

“Bite,” Eddie says simply, knowing that Buck is going to comply with no other information needed. He does, mouth opening and teeth sinking in, just holding Eddie in his mouth. “Such a good boy for me, B. Come on, we gotta get cleaned up and start getting ready, we’re going to have to leave soon,” Eddie says softly, gently tugging at Buck’s hair. Buck groans, pushing himself up slowly, unsticking himself from Eddie. He leans down, licking all over Eddie’s chest, trying to get as much of Eddie’s come as he possibly can, needing it, stomach growling for it. Once he feels like he has sufficiently cleaned Eddie’s chest and stomach, he leans down pressing one last kiss to the spot of Eddie’s chest over his heart, and rolls off the bed, heading toward the bathroom. 

“I’ll get the shower started. Come in when you’re ready,” he says over his shoulder, sensing that Eddie needs a minute, but also needing one himself. 

He walks into the bathroom, turns the water to the hottest setting, and nearly collapses over the sink. He lifts his head, staring at his own blown eyes in the mirror. His curls are sticking out in every single direction, absolutely crazy, skin flushed and shiny. 

He looks absolutely fucked out – and he feels that way, too. Sex with Eddie is good . Great. Amazing. Fantastic. Best he’s ever had. Like, it’s Eddie . Everything is better when it’s with Eddie – bad calls, parties, barbecues, doctor’s appointments, anything – it can be bad, and being with Eddie will make it good, or it can be good, and being with Eddie will make it great. It doesn’t matter what it is or how he feels about it, Eddie being there will elevate his experience every single time . Eddie is just – he’s Eddie . He is so smart, strong, capable, stable, funny, silly, sexy – wait. Buck blinks at himself in the mirror, stunned. 

Yes, of course he’s noticed how handsome Eddie is, how could he not? He gets flirted with at nearly every call – which annoys Buck to no end – at least it isn’t as bad as when he had the mustache. He looked so se– good-looking with that mustache, and everyone knew it. He always knew Eddie was attractive, objectively, but he has never felt attracted to Eddie. Well, okay, like, obviously they’ve been having sex but it’s been as friends . And Buck loves Eddie as a friend so it was never a big deal! But now…well now that the word sexy is in his mind, he can’t get rid of it, bouncing around his mind with images of Eddie – Eddie working out, Eddie making a rescue, Eddie covered in dust and soot, Eddie making breakfast, Eddie playing video games with Chris, Eddie fresh out of the shower, Eddie underneath him. 

He can’t find Eddie sexy . That can ruin everything . Eddie is the best friend he has ever had, the best person he has ever known . Eddie and Chris are everything to him, and losing them, losing that friendship, that family …that would kill Buck. So, no, Eddie is not sexy – not like sexy sexy. He is friend sexy. Buck opens that small box in his mind, shoving Eddie’s sexiness inside, locking it tight. 

They’re just best friends. This is just pretend. Pretend dating, pretend sex, pretend sexy. He runs a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. He can do this. He can just pretend that box in his mind doesn’t exist, just like he has for seven years. What’s seven more? He takes another deep breath, and opens the door to the shower, stepping under the warm stream. 

Eddie lays on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He just had sex. With Buck . And he liked it. No, scratch that — he loved it. Buck just knows him so well – knows what he likes and how he likes it, knows how to make him feel good, knows how to listen and when to push back. Sex has never felt that way before, not with anybody. He felt electric, alive… free . 

He felt more like himself than he ever has, second only to the times when he feels he has really been a great dad to Chris. He takes a deep breath and thinks about why sex with Buck is so good. He wonders if maybe it’s because they have such a strong emotional connection. Maybe he needs to be friends with someone first – have someone know him inside and out, anticipate his moves before he even does, someone who just truly gets him. Maybe he needs to be friends with someone first – best friends with them – before they can have mind-blowing sex. He chooses to ignore the fact that Shannon was his best friend, at least in the beginning. But he doesn’t really remember it all that well – it was over fifteen years ago – so maybe it was like this in the beginning. That has to be it. Sex is only this good when it’s with your best friend. 

So, he just needs to find another best friend. Because Buck is, well, Buck . Eddie is straight, so, obviously he doesn’t love Buck – not like that. But even if he wasn’t straight, he wouldn’t be able to be with Buck. He means too much, there’s too much to lose. Eddie won’t stand for Christopher losing another parent, so he will do literally whatever he has to in order to keep their family exactly as it is. And besides, he is as straight as the day is long, so he has nothing to worry about. He was married , he has a kid , he was in the army – he has a silver star for crying out loud. A-And, yes , people can of course get married and have a kid and be in the army and not be straight – he is an ally after all, and he knows this – but that is not the case for him and that’s what matters. 

This is just what best friends do – it happened with Shannon and it’s happening with Buck. Best friends just help each other out, and this is an extension of that. That’s all. He takes a deep breath, rolling out of bed, and grunting as his knees nearly give out from under him. Fucking hell . His body is still quaking a bit, taking steps on wobbly legs that make him feel like a fucking baby deer. After his first few steps, his body steadies and he walks into the bathroom. 

Steam is swirling around in the air, and Buck is already under the water, back to him. Eddie takes a few moments to look at the way his back muscles ripple as he moves, the way the water drips down Buck’s body, following the curve of his hips, his ass. Teeth dig into Eddie’s lips as he stares, and then he’s flushing a pretty pink as Buck turns around. 

Buck grins. “What’re you looking at, Eddie?” 

“Huh?” Eddie says, feigning innocence like he didn’t just get caught in the act. 

“Are you getting in or what?”

“Yeah, yeah, move over,” Eddie grumbles as he climbs into the shower, switching spots with Buck so he’s under the water, semi-dry and tacky come finally washing off his skin. 

Buck and Eddie shower in comfortable silence, each going about their own shower routines. It’s nice… comfortable . That is, until Eddie places his hands on Buck’s shoulders, turning him around to face the shower wall opposite of the showerhead. He keeps one hand on Buck’s shoulders, the other holding his hips in place as he maneuvers Buck into a slightly bent position, ass sticking out towards Eddie. 

Eddie can’t help himself. He bends over and bites Buck’s ass cheek, eliciting a yelp that has him grinning against the mark. Eddie’s hand comes up to cup Buck’s ass cheek, thumb rubbing over it lightly before gripping it and spreading, exposing his entrance. Eddie knows it’s already wet from the shower, but he really can’t help himself – he leans over, letting his spit drip down Buck’s crack, watching in fascination as his hole clenches around nothing, swallowing it up. It’s something about Buck , something that both wipes him of all self-control yet also floods him with a sense of authority. 

Eddie uses his index finger to trace a circle around Buck’s rim, making Buck shiver. Eddie sinks his finger in slowly, and Buck goans, forehead hitting the shower wall with a dull thud . 

Eddie slides his finger in and out slowly, listening to the sweet noises he’s pulling from Buck’s lips. He slides his middle finger in alongside his index, and Buck starts to thrust back against his hand. Eddie purposely avoids hitting the one spot deep inside where Buck wants him most, knowing that this afternoon is going to be long and tortuous enough for Buck and he doesn’t need to be worked up too much too early. Eddie spends a few minutes pumping into Buck, scissoring his fingers slightly to open him up. 

As he slips in his third finger, he’s watching Buck’s hole swallow him up in awe , Buck moaning obscenely, nosies reverberating off the shower walls and echoing throughout the bathroom. Once he feels Buck is loosened up enough, he slips his fingers out, reaching to turn the water off. 

“C’mon, we have a party to get to,” Eddie says, patting Buck’s hip as he steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel low around his waist. Buck is still panting against the wall, slowly breaking out of his haze to step out of the shower after Eddie. He also reaches for a towel, but Eddie smacks his hand away. 

“I don’t think so, man. You owe me a purple vibrating dildo at the party, remember?” Eddie says with a smirk, making Buck flush. “Go lay down on the bed. However you want is fine,” he instructs, and Buck turns and immediately heads back to the main portion of the room. 

Eddie grins, shaking his head. He follows, watching Buck get settled on his stomach, pillow under his hips to lift his ass. Eddie walks over to the little black bag, grabbing the dildo and the remote, as well as the lube and cock ring from where they were discarded earlier, and puts everything in a pile on the bed next to Buck. Eddie’s hand trails lightly down Buck’s back, gathering water droplets as he does. 

Eddie grabs the lube, popping the cap open and squirting some directly on Buck’s hole. Next, he grabs the dildo, rubbing it against Buck’s entrance, spreading the lube around. Buck groans, hands reaching back to grip his cheeks and hold himself open for Eddie, which becomes his new favorite sight instantly . 

“So fucking good for me, Buck,” Eddie murmurs, lining up the dildo and inserting it slowly, both of them letting out a groan as the toy bottoms out in Buck. Eddie pumps it a few times, pulling out and pushing back in, playing with Buck right until he starts to push back against the toy. Eddie inserts the toy fully again, and reaches out to grab the remote, turning it on to test it. 

Even with the dildo right in front of him, he can barely hear it, soft buzz sounding from Buck’s hole. Buck moans loudly as he feels the toy kick to life, vibrating against his walls as he clenches down around the member. 

Eddie cycles through the different settings, testing each one to see which ones Buck likes the most, making a mental note. Eddie reluctantly turns the toy off, wanting to sit here and play with Buck all day long, but knowing they only have twenty minutes until they have to leave. He slides the cockring into place on Buck’s already hard and leaking cock, and taps his thigh, moving to stand up and going to his luggage, prompting Buck to do the same. 

“I don’t want to go to this dumb party anyways, this is ridiculous,” Buck grumbles as he yanks on his boxers and then jeans. 

“At least you have something to distract you,” Eddie says smugly, pressing a button on the remote to bring the toy to life, making Buck yelp. Eddie chuckles quietly and turns it off, determined to use his newfound power and fun sparingly, knowing they both need to make it home before they come again. 

“Still, I don’t wanna go,” Buck pouts. “Can we skip it?” he asks, turning to Eddie with hopeful eyes. 

Eddie shakes his head. “It’ll go fast, and we’ll make up an excuse to leave early, I promise,” he says. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he responds, turning and sticking his tongue out at Eddie. 

“Okay, that’s fair. Promise that you’ll come when we get home, even if the party is ass,” he says casually, throwing on his shirt. Buck bursts out laughing at that, the sound music to Eddie’s ears. 

“Seriously, man, that’s the best promise I get?” 

Eddie walks over to him, standing just a little too close. “I promise to be the best damn boyfriend you’ve ever had.” 

Buck’s breath hitches and Eddie watches as he swallows thickly. “Yeah, I-I believe that.” 

“Good boy,” Eddie whispers, watching as Buck’s pupils grow wide at the words, and then he steps back, going to style his hair for the party. 

Buck takes a few deep breaths, shifting on his feet, trying to calm himself down – not an easy task with a dildo sitting inside him. He finally reaches out for his shirt, ready to continue getting ready, when he feels vibrations start deep inside of him, making him cry out, reaching for the desk to keep his legs from giving out. Eddie chuckles from the bathroom and turns it off, slipping the remote into his pants pocket. 

They finish getting ready, and are about to grab their keys and head out when Buck glances over at Eddie and remembers where they are going and what they were asked to go. 

“C’mon Eddie, we gotta cover…” he trails off, gesturing to his neck and then Eddie’s before tipping his head and walking to the bathroom. Eddie sighs loudly, but follows behind him. 

“Now listen, I understand why you’re covering yours – I don’t like it, not one bit, but I understand it – but I didn’t say anything about covering mine .”

Buck reaches for the concealer he stole from Maddie, putting some on his fingers and dabbing over the areas where Eddie has marked his skin – which is nearly his whole neck. 

Buck looks at Eddie through the mirror, eyebrows scrunched. “Eddie, look at your neck man,” he says, blush creeping onto his cheeks. They have matching hickeys and bite marks scattered down their necks, and Buck knows that they continue onto their shoulders and chests. 

“Yeah, and?” Eddie asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway, watching Buck’s marks disappear, disappointment settling in his stomach. He wants everyone to know he’s had his lips on Buck. He wants to look across the crowded room and see Buck with proof of their friendship on his body. Wants to be able to count his teeth based off the indents on Buck. But he understands feeling pressured by your family, wanting to fit in so desperately, despite the fact that they have never deserved him – none of them except Maddie. 

“One look at you and-and they’re gonna know ,” Buck says, going in for a second layer on the particularly dark spots. 

Eddie pushes off the doorway, walking up right behind Buck, plastering himself against Buck’s back, resting his chin on his shoulder, eyes meeting in the mirror in front of them. 

“Buck, how many times do I have to tell you I want them to know? I’m not ashamed of you, never could be. Told you I want everyone to know you’re mine and I meant it,” he says softly. 

Buck’s gaze drops, hands fidgeting in front of him. Eddie snakes his arms around Buck’s waist, intertwining their fingers. 

“It’s okay , Buck. Trust me, I get it. And if it will make you feel better, I’ll do it – for you , not for them . But you’re gonna have to take off your shirt.” 

Buck’s eyes lift back up to Eddie’s, question clear on his face. “Why?” 

“We’re switching.”

“Okay…again, why ?”

“If I can’t look at you and see my work,” he starts, nosing at Buck’s neck, “I want to look at you and see you in my clothes.” 

Buck blushes again, but nods. He gathers some more concealer, turning around and beginning to dab at Eddie’s neck. The color match is terrible and it’s very obvious that something is being covered up, but the idea that his parents can’t get mad at him for leaving them exposed in front of everyone brings him some peace, even if he also doesn’t like the idea of not being able to see the work he put into Eddie. Once Buck is satisfied with their cover up jobs, he steps back, pulling his shirt over his head and handing it out to Eddie. 

Eddie grins, taking his shirt off and switching with Buck. Buck’s muscles pull at the seams of Eddie’s shirt, almost obscenely tight, and Eddie spends a minute just watching the way his biceps move as he packs up the bathroom stuff, cleaning it up a bit. Buck’s shirt hangs one size too big on his frame, and he loves it – and based on the way Buck’s eyes light up when he turns around, he loves it, too. 

They finish gathering up their stuff and head down to the car in comfortable silence. Buck drives, as usual, but reaches over and grabs Eddie’s hand, intertwining their fingers over the center console, making Eddie turn his head toward the window to hide his smile. He’s always been a physical touch person, seeking reassurance, comfort, love, joy , from connecting with other people through simple touches. Normally, Buck is all over it, giving him everything he needs without even thinking about it – it has long since been second nature to bump shoulders while they walk, knock knees on the couch or in the engine, press thighs together under the dinner table, place a hand on their back when you walk past. But ever since the whole dating thing, he thinks Buck has been in his head about it, not wanting to make Eddie uncomfortable for some reason. He feels settled knowing that their simple innocent touches have returned, knowing that Buck is feeling more like himself, allowing himself to reach out to Eddie. 

Eddie looks over at Buck and sees him squirming in his seat, and he chuckles. Buck glances at him quickly, frown pulling his lips into a pout. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Little wiggly there, that’s all.” 

Buck huffs. “Well, obviously. It’s not like you don’t know why .” 

“The why is what makes it funny, Buck.”

“Oh, really, how?” 

“You’re driving us to a birthday party with a vibrating purple dildo up your ass that I get to control,” Eddie says, laughter bubbling up in his chest. 

“I still don’t see how that’s funny.” 

“The funny part is that you don’t get to come until we get home. And I know exactly how to drive you crazy. This birthday might just be my new favorite party,” Eddie explains, reaching into his pocket and clicking the vibrations onto a low setting. Buck moans, hand tightening around the wheel so hard the leather creaks, and grips Eddie’s hand tightly. 

“Come on, man, I’m driving ,” he complains, hips moving in his seat. 

“Better focus hard then,” Eddie says, bringing their joined hands up, pressing a quick kiss to Buck’s. 

A few minutes later, they pull up to the house hosting the party, and Eddie clicks the vibrator off, giving Buck a chance to take a deep breath. He’s still put together, but Eddie can clock the flush of his face, slight sheen of sweat across his forehead, blown pupils. He loves it, wants to see just how crazed he can make Buck by the end of the night. 

They get out of the car, both subtly adjusting their bulges, trying to make them less noticeable. They walk up to the front door, and Eddie can feel Buck’s nerves. Their first public event as boyfriends. They probably should have talked about it, but they were too busy fucking earlier. Plus, what would they have said? They both know what this is. 

Eddie takes Buck’s hand again, pulling him to his chest as they stand on the porch. “You okay?” he murmurs, searching Buck’s eyes. 

Buck swallows thickly, and nods. “Yeah, I’m good. Just worried about what people will think about me. Like usual.”

Eddie hums his understanding, squeezing Buck’s hand. “I know. But you’re amazing. What they think about you doesn’t change that. I have your back, you know?” 

Buck smiles. “Yeah, and I have yours. Who knows, you might need it in there,” he chuckles. 

“C’mon. We got this,” Eddie says, reaching up and pressing a kiss to Buck’s birthmark. 

They release each other, and Eddie follows Buck inside. He’s expecting commotion, decorations, people, making music, but walking inside, there’s just a light murmur of talking coming from the back of the house. 

“Where are all the kids?” Eddie asks. 

“Kids?” 

“Yeah, isn’t this a child’s birthday party?” 

Buck bursts out laughing, spinning around in the hallway to look at Eddie. “No, man, it’s for my 60 year-old aunt. Jee is the only kid here. We’re on uncle duty,” he says with a bright grin. 

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, they hear the pounding of little feet. Jee rounds the corner, slipping a little in her socks. 

“Uncle Buck! Uncle Eddie!” she screams, barreling into Buck’s waiting open arms. 

Buck picks her up, spinning around with her. “Oh, so this time she says my name first, huh?” he mutters, eyes flicking toward Eddie, who starts laughing, walking up and sandwiching Jee in a big hug. 

Maddie turns the corner next, smiling when she sees them. “Thank god you’re here. Someone was getting so impatient,” she laughs. 

“Yeah, sorry, I just couldn’t wait to see them again,” Chim says, slipping his arm around Maddie, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Buck hands Jee to Eddie and turns, placing a hand over his heart. “Oh, Chim, I’m touched. I missed you too, come here,” he says holding his arms out wide, walking toward Chim and grabbing him in a bear hug right as Chim was turning to run away. Buck sways them side to side dramatically, and Chim groans. 

“Get off of me you giant oaf!” 

Buck lets go, laughing. “Oh, come on, you love my hu–” he cuts off with a yelp as the buzzing begins inside him, startling him. He whips his head to glare at Eddie, but Eddie is not even looking at him, deep in the middle of a conversation with Jee.

“Is this new?” Maddie asks, pointing at his shirt. 

“Looks painted on. Didn’t have any bigger sized Mr Watermelon Biceps?” Chim says, eyeing Buck’s arms wearily. 

“It is new actually, and I think it fits perfectly, thanks so much,” Buck responds, rolling his eyes, trying to keep the smile off his lips. 

“Buck, aunt Cheryl had something she wanted to talk to you about. I’m going to get cake,” Maddie says, grabbing Chimney’s hand and pulling him back to the party. 

“Yeah, okay,” Buck says, voice slightly higher pitched than usual. He takes a deep breath, getting used to the sensations of the vibrator, body relaxing. 

He turns to look at Eddie and Jee, warmth blooming in his chest as he watches the way Eddie gives her his full attention, listening raptly to every word she says, her arms waving wildly as she tells him a story. “I’m gonna go see aunt Cheryl I guess,” Buck says. Eddie waves his hand at Buck in a shooing motion, never taking his eyes off Jee, and Buck smiles, walking deeper into the house. 

He takes a look around the room when he walks in. There’s only one other person their age there – besides Maddie and Chim, obviously, who are unfortunately locked into a conversation with Buck’s grandparents – and it’s the Buckley family friend, Dean, who he knew growing up but can count the amount of one-on-one conversations they’ve ever had on two fingers. Everyone else easily has twenty years on them, and they are all chattering amongst themselves. 

“Oh, Evan, there you are!,” Aunt Cheryl says, pulling Buck into a crushing hug despite her short 5’0 stature. 

“Uh, h-hi, aunt Cheryl. Maddie said you wanted to see me?” Buck asks. He knows Eddie has entered the room when he feels the vibrations change, clenching his hands into fists, eyes immediately seeking out his favorite pair – they meet from across the room, smirk on Eddie’s face. Eddie and Jee drift closer, still talking animatedly. 

“I have got to show you – I found the perfect girl for you, Evan,” his aunt says, taking out her phone and poking at it with her index finger. 

“Oh, uh, Cheryl, I-I have a boyfriend. That’s him with Jee-Yun,” he says pointing at Eddie and Jee where they have crept closer again. 

Cheryl looks up at Buck, looks over to Eddie, and then looks back to Buck. “Right, Maragret said that. Well, anyways, she can be your next girlfriend, Evan, I swear she was made for you,” she says, waving her hand in the air. 

“No, no, I won’t be having a next girlfriend,” Buck says, holding out his hands to stop her from searching through her photos. 

His aunt reels back, looking at Buck curiously. “I thought you still liked girls,” she says, accusatory. 

“I do , but I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I’m already dating someone. Eddie,” he says, pointing at Eddie again. When Buck’s eyes follow, he sees that Eddie has given Jee a game to play on his phone and is staring at them intensely, eyes narrowed, jaw set. Uh oh . 

The buzzing begins to intensify, and Buck clamps his mouth shut to keep in his squeak of surprise. 

“Yes, Evan, you’re seeing him for now . When you grow up and are ready to find a wife and have a family, you let me know, because I found her for you.” 

“All due respect, Cheryl, but I am already in a serious relationship. With Eddie . And we’re happy – he brings more joy to my life than anyone in the world. And I might not be a dad, but he has a kid I love . I already have a family. But best of luck to your friend,” he says, gesturing to her phone where it is still clutched in her hands, before he turns and stalks over to Eddie, who is smiling smugly, still staring at Cheryl. 

Buck settles in next to Eddie, slinging his arm around his shoulders. “Sorry about that,” he murmurs next to Eddie’s ear. 

Eddie shrugs, turning to look up at him. “You’re hot, it’s bound to happen. You’d think I would have gotten used to feeling jealous about you, but it looks like that’s not the case.”

Buck looks at him, a little stunned. Eddie thinks he’s hot? And, wait, did Eddie just say he was jealous ? He shifts on his feet, and the dildo shifts with him, pressing up against his prostate. Buck makes a startled noise, trying to choke it down, but Eddie just grins. 

“Don’t have to be too jealous. You’re the one playing with me right now,” Buck says, voice tight, carefully controlled so he doesn’t cry out. 

Eddie shrugs again. “You’re mine, Buck. ‘M always jealous when people flirt with you. None of them know how incredible you actually are, and honestly, I don’t want them to know. Wanna keep you all to myself. Next time someone flirts with you on a call, I want you to remember the way you feel right now, and remember that you feel this way because of me ,” Eddie says, turning to look at him, eyes dark. 

Buck has completely lost his train of thought, sensation completely overwhelming his senses. He has no idea how they got to discussing him flirting with people on calls, but he doesn’t even care to be confused, just fighting to keep his eyes open and stay silent. 

“Mm, nothing to say to that? What’s the matter, Buck, lose your voice?” Eddie goads, giving him a brilliant smile. 

“I hate you,” Buck grinds out, trying to shift again to get the toy off that sensitive spot. 

Eddie chuckles. “I don’t think so. Last I heard, I bring more joy to your life than anyone else .” 

Buck grunts, rolling his eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, it already went there. And somewhere else.” 

Buck’s eyes drop, and he notices the bulge in Eddie’s pants. His fingers ache to reach out, help him take care of that right here, but he can’t – obviously – and that is more tortuous than having vibrations relentlessly prodding his prostate and not being able to come. His desire to see Eddie naked again, to see his face alight with pleasure, to listen to him come, it’s overwhelming , and Buck feels it like an itch he can’t scratch. 

“Let’s go. C’mon, we came, we made an appearance, let’s just leave,” Buck begs, forcing his eyes back up to Eddie’s. 

Eddie shakes his head, looking at Buck fondly. “No way. We haven’t even had cake,” he says. At the mention of cake, Jee looks up from her game, bounding excitedly. 

“Dude. You just had to say the c-word?” Buck asks. 

Buck and Eddie head to the kitchen to help Jee get a piece of cake, filling up a plate with vegetables too, just to see if they can get her to eat some. Buck’s eyes meet his father’s from across the room where he’s standing talking to Buck’s aunt. Philip rolls his eyes when he sees Buck, and physically turns around so his back is facing him. Buck let’s out a little chuckle, just shaking his head, and helping Eddie carry their plates into the living room. They settle on the floor in a corner of the living room, surrounded by fifteen people that aren’t paying them a lick of attention. 

Every few minutes, Eddie will reach into his pocket, changing the settings, never letting Buck get used to a sensation before it is suddenly different. Every time he presses a button on the little remote, a zing of anticipation flys through him. Seeing the way Buck reacts to each one, seeing how wiggly he gets, how flushed and sweaty he is, makes Eddie want to lead him to the car right now and have his way with him. Eddie loves knowing that he is the one making Buck squirm like this, likes knowing that whenever he presses the button, Buck is thinking about him, flicking his eyes to look at Eddie every time. And if eventually, Eddie starts pressing the button more because he wants Buck’s eyes on him than because he wants Buck to feel good, well…he can just pretend that isn’t the reason. 

Buck is having a hell of a time sitting still, wiggling relentlessly where he is sitting on the floor with Jee, playing a game involving a napkin, broken fork, and potato chip – don’t ask, he doesn't know the rules, he’s just trying to entertain his niece at the most boring party of the year. 

“Evan. Sit still . You’re embarrassing me,” his mom hisses as she walks by, keeping her head and eyes lifted – she doesn’t even want to be seen talking to him. He listens as she goes to talk to another family member. All he can hear her telling them is that he has “ always been so hyperactive. I must have the patience of a saint! Saint Margaret has a nice ring to it, I think. I deserve it after putting up with him for so long. Thank god he lives in LA now – not my problem anymore!” He rolls his eyes, shaking his head, and when he glances at Eddie, he feels chills erupt down his back. Eddie’s eyes are fiery, frustration evident. 

“Uncle Eddie, are you gonna eat this carrot?” Jee asks, already snatching it off the paper plate in front of him. 

“No, sweetheart, go ahead and take it,” he says softly, looking at Jee with so much love Buck’s chest hurts. 

For the next fifteen minutes, Eddie switches the setting every thirty seconds, and Buck is losing his fucking mind . He is damn near writhing on the floor, teeth digging into his lip to keep his noises stuffed down, shifting his weight back and forth, trying to be inconspicuous, but knowing he probably looks fucking ridiculous. 

But then, suddenly, the vibrations stop, and Buck stills, looking at Eddie with a tilt in his head. He’s breathing heavily, worked up after the last hour of stimulation without being able to come. He misses the sensation instantly , pleading look on his face when Eddie looks up at him. Eddie leaves the vibrator off for ten minutes, and Buck pulls out his phone to text him. 

Buck: what’s the matter i feel like i’m going insane 

Eddie: That guy was watching you. 

Buck: dean? So?

Eddie: You’re not like this for him. You’re like this for me. He doesn’t get to see it. If you miss it, go stand in the bathroom for a minute. 

Buck doesn’t need to be told twice – he stands wordlessly, navigating to the bathroom. He has just shut the door behind him when the vibrations start again, and he lets out a soft moan, resting his forehead against the closed door. He’s clenching around the toy, thrusting back, even though it doesn’t really do anything for him. He stays in there a few minutes, and when the vibrations stop, he knows it’s Eddie’s way of calling him back to the living room. Buck takes a deep breath, looking at himself in the mirror. 

His skin is flushed and shiny, eyes wild, and his lips are parted as his breath comes in pants. He runs a hand through his curls, tugging at them slightly to ground himself. He goes back, settling on the floor next to Eddie, pressing their knees together. 

Buck becomes absorbed in this game with Jee, trying to figure out all the rules, and eventually getting the hang of it, stepping to her imagination with him. He tenses when he feels the vibrations start again, rolling his hips subtly, but continues his game with Jee. Eddie changes the settings every few minutes while he plays the game, never letting him get used to it, making him lose his focus every time. That has to be why he keeps losing, right? 

He stays on the floor immersed in the game, bordering on overwhelmed with the sensations sending chills up his back, until his leg starts cramping. At this point, they’ve been on the floor several hours – it’s honestly a miracle he made it this long without it acting up. He shifts, stretching it out, grimacing, and he feels the vibrations stop. Eddie’s hands are immediately on his calf, kneading into it gently. Buck flushes as he recalls the massage Eddie gave him the other night, remembers how it ended , but still flashes him a grateful smile. 

When Jee defeats him for the third time in a row, Buck groans, throwing his hands up. “Jee, you’re too good at this game. Maybe uncle Eddie will have better luck against you,” he says, poking at her belly, making her laugh. 

He stands, wincing as he puts weight on his leg. He limps over to the kitchen, getting a cup of water and stretching out. 

“Hey, Evan. Heard you’re a firefighter now. How is that?” he hears a voice ask as they come up behind him in the kitchen. 

He turns around to find Dean, loading up a plate with vegetables and chips. “Hey Dean,” he says, smiling. “Yeah, yeah, I am, it’s good, I love it. What are you up to now?” he asks, leaning back against the counter. 

He completely ignores Dean’s answer as he feels the dildo come to life inside him once again, sending shocks up his spine. His eyes fall shut briefly, but snap open as he remembers he was literally in the middle of a conversation. 

“Oh, really, that’s awesome,” he says, even though he truly could not tell you what Dean is up to – nor does he care. His eyes find Eddie’s over Buck’s shoulder, jealousy and frustration swirling in his brown hues, fingers tightening around the hem of his – well, Buck’s – shirt. If Buck wasn’t wearing a cock ring, he is 100% positive that sight alone would have made him come. 

“Not as awesome as you,” Dean chuckles. “I mean seriously, you got huge and cool. Never would have guessed clumsy little Evan Buckley would become the person you call for help,” he jokes, and Buck gives a forced smile. 

“Yeah, well, I grew up, you know?” 

“Obviously, but still . Never would have guessed you would actually do something. Listen, while you’re in town, I was thinking maybe we could get coffee or-or dinner? You know, just to catch up.”

Eddie can’t articulate why , but seeing Buck talking to that guy in the kitchen makes him feel like his head is going to fucking explode. Having him watching Buck earlier in the living room had him running through the breathing exercises Frank taught him because he is feeling jealousy he has never experienced before. It took him a long time before to identify that what he was feeling on calls was jealousy, and he came to accept the fact that he is jealous Buck gets more attention than him when they are on calls together. 

That fact is kind of discounted by the fact that he also gets flirted with while they are on calls, and usually it’s equally as much as Buck – more than him when he had the mustache. But still. That’s what he’s going with. But seeing this guy flirting with Buck has that green monster growing expeditiously inside of him. Buck is his first best friend – maybe he just is very territorial over his friends? Whatever the reason, Eddie needs to get Buck out of there now , he can’t take it anymore. 

“Hey, B-um, Ev , I was thinking it might be time to head out? You know, we have to get to that thing,” Eddie says, coming up and standing next to Buck as the vibrations increase, making him grip the countertop for support. 

“That– what ?” he asks, clearing his throat when he realizes how dry his mouth is. 

Eddie gives him a look. “That thing we have tonight,” he says again slowly. 

“ Oh . Oh, right, of-of course, that , I totally forgot about that. Sorry, Dean, good seeing you!” he says as Eddie grabs his hand, pulling him back toward Jee where she is now begging Maddie and Chim for another piece of cake. 

“We’re leaving,” Buck tells them, slightly breathless. 

“What? Buck we didn’t even get to talk,” Maddie complains. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m sorry, but we’ll get dinner okay? Just us. Promise,” he says, holding out his pinky to her. She gives him a look, and hooks her pinky around his. 

“How come I never get to know what’s going on around here?” Chim says, looking between Buck, Eddie and Maddie. 

“Be honest, Chim, do you really want to know?” Eddie asks, clapping him on the back. 

Chimney sighs, shaking his head. “No, I-I guess you’re right.” 

Maddie laughs at that. “Fine. I’ll see you later,” she says, pointing at Buck. . 

“Bye, Jee, I love you so much,” he says, leaning down and planting kisses all over her face, making her giggle and try to wiggle away. 

“My turn! Bye Jee,” Eddie says, crouching down and giving her a huge hug, releasing her and giving her a kiss on the side of the head with a little mwah . 

They turn and head out to the car without saying anything to anyone else. Buck can guarantee that nobody will notice they’re gone. He didn’t talk to either of his parents the whole time they were there, and that feels like a win. 

They get into the car, and Buck can feel Eddie thinking, can see the wheels turning every time he looks over at him. 

“Eds,” he says softly. Eddie looks over at him, blinking his way back from wherever his mind had taken him. “Why did we need to leave?” 

“That guy…I didn’t like him,” Eddie says. Buck waits for him to continue and when he doesn't, Buck lets out a sigh. 

“That’s it? You didn’t like that one guy and we just had to leave?”

“Oh, please, don’t act like you were into that conversation. Plus I promised you I would get us out early, didn’t I?,” Eddie says, trying to sound confident, but Buck can sense the hesitancy in his voice, the insecurity. 

Buck sighs again. “No, you’re right, I wanted to leave, too. He was insulting me and complimenting me at the same time, but I couldn’t even process what he was saying. Super fucking weird,” he says with a chuckle. 

Eddie’s body releases tension he didn’t know he was holding, and he chuckles too. “Do you think we can take Jee out tomorrow? I feel bad she was reduced to making up a game with a carrot and a potato chip. Maybe we can take her off Maddie and Chim’s hands?” he asks. 

Buck looks over at him with a huge smile on his face. “Yeah, Eddie, that sounds like a great idea. Maybe when we get back we can look at places to take her.” 

“No.”

“No?” 

“Are you forgetting the other promise I made you?” Eddie asks, switching the vibrator on its highest setting, making Buck nearly jump out of his seat. 

Buck’s face is so flushed you could probably see it from space, and the sight has Eddie’s cock jumping in his boxers. He’s actually surprised he hasn’t leaked through his jeans, because he can definitely feel the wet spot on his boxers from his precome. He takes a minute to thank his lucky stars, because it would have been embarrassing as hell to be sporting a precome stain at a birthday party for a 60 year-old. 

Buck’s head drops back against the headrest, eyes remaining dutifully on the road, hips thrusting into nothing. “No, I-I didn’t forget, but-but Jee is important , so we should focus on that,” Buck stutters. 

Eddie hums thoughtfully. “Well, first, I’m going to focus on you. Then , we can focus on something to do with Jee.” 

Buck grunts, hand reaching out to grip Eddie’s thigh as they pull into the hotel parking lot. Eddie unbuckles and hops out of the car quickly, leaving Buck panting in the driver’s seat. Eddie is halfway across the parking lot when Buck finally gets out of the car, taking huge steps to catch up. 

They ride up to their room in charged silence, anticipation flooded between them. Eddie swipes them into the room, shutting the door softly behind them when they walk in. Buck is standing in the middle of the room, shifting restlessly, vibrator still buzzing full blast inside him. Eddie talks toward him slowly, approaching him like a predator approaches his prey, eyes dark. Buck feels a thrill go through him at the sight, goosebumps trailing down his back. 

“Take off my clothes,” Eddie says, voice rough like sandpaper. Buck audibly gulps , and reaches out with shaky hands, tugging up the hem of Eddie’s – his – shirt, pulling it over his head. He runs his hand down Eddie’s chest once it’s revealed, tossing the shirt somewhere over Eddie’s shoulder. Buck tweaks at Eddie’s nipples, and Eddie groans, eyes falling closed. Buck lets his blunt fingernails scratch over the hard buds, and then down his stomach as he reaches for the button on Eddie’s jeans, popping it open and unzipping them gently. 

Buck hooks his fingers in the waistband of Eddie’s pants, tugging his jeans and boxers down in one pull, helping Eddie step out of them and kick them to the side. Buck reaches out, wrapping a hand around Eddie and stroking him slowly, swiping his thumb over the tip to spread the precome that has beaded there down his shaft. Eddie’s hips roll into his hand just a few times before he’s pulling back, out of Buck’s grasp. 

“Naked. Bed. Now .” 

Buck does not need to be told twice, quickly peeling off Eddie’s shirt and removing his own jeans, settling onto the bed on his back, vibrator still buzzing. Eddie looks fucking starving , staring at the purple hilt peaking out between Buck’s ass cheeks from where he lays. 

“You were so good for me, Buck. So good all day,” Eddie mutters, slowly crawling up Buck’s body. He stops to suck on Buck’s inner thigh, needing to leave a mark there. He sinks his teeth into the muscle, cock jerking at the way it tenses under his teeth. 

“Eddie,” Buck whimpers from above him, fingers tugging gently at Eddie’s hair. Eddie presses a kiss to the bite mark, and continues his way up Buck’s body, licking a long stripe up the center of Buck’s chest, arms holding himself up, hovering over Buck.

“What do you need, baby?” Eddie whispers. 

“Need… fuck me , I-I’m, ungh, already close,” he says, voice pleading. 

Eddie reaches down with one hand, gripping the base of the dildo and slowly thrusting it into Buck, making his back arch. 

“Been on edge for hours, huh? Just so fucking desperate to come you’re about to shoot off any second, aren’t you?” 

Buck nods vigorously. Eddie settles between Buck’s legs, using his free hand to remove the cock ring Buck has been wearing, giving him a gentle squeeze around the base that has him hissing. 

“Want you , not toy,” Buck says in between pants, making grabby hands at Eddie, making him chuckle. 

Eddie slowly removes the toy from Buck, watching in awe as his hole clenches around nothing. Buck whines at the loss, tears stinging the back of his eyes. He needs Eddie more than he needs air right now, and he can’t even explain why. He just feels certain that without Eddie filling him up, he will keel over and die right here. 

Eddie scoots forward between his legs, lining himself up and sinking home into Buck, both of them groaning at the sensation. Eddie rolls his hips, grinding into Buck and starting to thrust into him sweet and slow, knowing that he’s been incredibly stimulated today and won’t need much to get him over the finish line. Eddie peppers Buck’s neck and jaw with kisses, murmuring into his skin.

“So tight, Buck. Feel so good around me.” 

“Eds, I-I…I,” Buck chokes on a sob. Eddie folds over his body, nuzzling into Buck’s neck.. 

“I know, I got you, baby, it’s okay. Come on, Buck, come for me, it’s okay,” he whispers. 

Buck tenses, clenching around him as he cries out, cock twitching where it’s trapped in between them, spurting come onto both of their stomachs. “Good boy, fuck , feel so good, baby.” 

Eddie thrusts into him two more times before he’s also coming, muscles shaking as he pumps into Buck, come spurting from his tip. Eddie keeps pressing kisses all over Buck’s neck, until he feels wetness against his cheek. He pulls up, looking at Buck to see his eyes red rimmed and glassy, tears streaming down his cheeks. Eddie leans in, kissing the tears away softly. 

“What’s the matter, Buck?” he whispers, guilt tearing apart his stomach. The idea that he was the cause of something that made Buck cry has him feeling nauseous. He has an apology, for what he doesn't know, ready on his tongue, but Buck beats him to it. 

“Thank you. Needed that,” Buck whispers back, voice thick. Eddie relaxes, panic dissipating, and just nods, continuing to kiss up Buck’s tears as they leak out. Once Buck takes a shaky deep breath, eyes drying, Eddie slowly pulls out, Buck whining as he feels Eddie’s come leaking out of him. He has a strange and all-consuming urge to grab the butt plug from his bag and plug himself up, letting Eddie’s spend stay in him overnight. But he lets it go, instead focusing on the way Eddie’s lips feel against his birthmark as presses a kiss there before he moves to get up. 

Buck also pushes himself up onto elbows, intending to get up as well, but Eddie stops him. 

“I got it. Stay there. I mean it this time,” Eddie says softly. A minute later he feels a warm, wet washcloth wiping at his stomach, his cock, his entrance. He lets out a soft gasp at the texture of the cloth against his over sensitive hole and Eddie works gently to clean him up. 

Eddie wipes himself down with the washcloth and tosses it back into the bathroom. Eddie maneuvers Buck under the covers, the bigger man already laying with his eyes closed, sleep nearly overtaking him. Eddie slips under the covers next to Buck, turning off the light and rolling onto his side. A few minutes later he feels Buck’s warm figure at his back, arm slinging over his waist, pulling them flush together. Eddie melts into it, relaxing in Buck’s arms. 

He is almost over the threshold, sleep within his fingertips, breath becoming deep. Buck presses a kiss to the back of Eddie’s neck, breath ghosting over the area, sending chills through Eddie’s body. And then Buck whispers against his skin. 

“Night, baby. Love you.” 

Chapter Text

“Night, baby. Love you.” 

The whispered words rip Eddie from the edge of sleep he was about to tumble over. His body stiffens in Buck’s arms and his eyes snap open. 

He… what? No, that can’t be what he said. Even if it is, he didn’t mean it, right? He-He’s just staying in character – that’s how serious boyfriends would fall asleep, right? Right. Buck was-was just trying to keep them in the right mindset. Wow, he deserves like…an Emmy or something. Eddie is going to have to applaud his work when they finally go home and get back to normal – Buck is really taking this seriously, giving himself over to the role. 

Except…now that he thinks about it, Buck really hasn’t been initiating much of anything, still figuring out his footing in this whole fake dating thing. Eddie has been the one steering the ship, and Buck has really just been following along with what he has been doing. Eddie feels a sense of disappointment at that – he’s going to chalk it up to feeling sad that Buck doesn’t feel comfortable enough with him to do those things, not at all because he wants Buck to want to do those things with him.

So if Buck is saying this, either he has suddenly decided to take the reins, or… no . 

There is no way he meant that. There has to be another option – any other option. Eddie wasn’t even supposed to hear it, he is supposed to be asleep. He was almost asleep. God, if it had been like thirty seconds later he would have been asleep and he wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe the lingering feeling of Buck’s lips on the back of his neck is just his imagination. 

But the feeling in his stomach – the array of emotions swirling, battling for dominance — says otherwise. His breath is coming in faster and his chest feels tight. He cannot fuck up this relationship. Buck is his best friend – the guardian of his son – and their friendship is the most important thing in the world to him. 

He’s never had a best friend before, not like this. Not one he feels comfortable talking to about everything, not one who has stepped up for him and Chris like Buck has, not one who goes out of their way to support him and have his back. He’s never known someone he can spend a 48-hour shift with and still want to hang out right after work. He’s never had someone he can truly share the load with – without keeping score, without guilt, without hesitation. With Buck, it’s just natural. It’s easy. It’s family. It’s home. 

With Shannon, it felt normal to a point. Then, it felt a bit more forced – like it felt like something they should be doing instead of something they wanted to be doing. But then, before they could even figure it out, before they could decide if this was something they wanted, they were handed the best thing that ever happened to him – Chris. After that, it became less about figuring out the two of them and more about surviving and providing for the family as a whole. By the time they were ready to learn about what they could be…it was too late. The damage was already done, the relationship too far gone, time running too short. 

With Ana, she was too perfect. She was everything he was supposed to want — everything he said he was looking for – but it still didn’t feel good, didn’t feel right. And Marisol…well, honestly, he can’t blame her for dumping him after he basically kicked her out right after she moved in. None of them felt right, felt settled. It felt like a performance , something he had to do for someone else when he wasn’t ever really in it himself. He never really felt the need to have this other person, other parent, because he had Carla. She was a huge help, and Eddie could not do this without her. And, if he was being honest, he never felt the need for a partner anymore because he had Buck. Anything he could do with a partner, he enjoyed more when it was with Buck. And the physical aspect, well Eddie never really had an overwhelming need for physical intimacy, not until they came here. Fuck Pennsylvania for whatever it was doing to him. 

The only thing that he would ever put above his relationship with Buck is Christopher. And Chris loves Buck, has ever since they first met over seven years ago. Eddie has ruined every relationship he has ever had – whether intentionally or not, he was not good with women. He couldn’t figure out what he actually wanted, because every time someone has come along with all of the qualities he has been searching for, he suddenly decides that they aren’t the right one for him. He never felt like giving up his time with Buck to be with someone he was seeing, and that was his clear indicator that they weren’t working – if he would rather be with his best friend than his girlfriend ten out of ten times, then it was not the right girlfriend for him. 

It would kill him to destroy this – to have to reject his best friend is something they might never be able to recover from. He can’t imagine how that is going to feel, especially to Buck of all people – the one person he knows who has faced more than his fair share of rejection, who struggles with abandonment and feeling like people are always leaving him behind – and Eddie feels sick at the thought of having to be just another name on the long list of people who has hurt the most kind, generous, and perfect person he knows. What are they supposed to do about Chris? Maybe Buck and Chris can still hang out, without Eddie, it’ll be like-like shared custody or something, they have to be able to work something out. 

Eddie is positively freaking out, worst case scenarios swirling around his mind faster than he can even process. But at the front of it all – denial. Buck can not have meant that he is in love with Eddie – oh. Wait. 

Buck didn’t say “I’m in love with you ”. He just said “ Love you.” That’s all. Eddie’s heard him say that to everyone they know – Maddie, Athena, the 118, even Ravi. Just a quick, simple show of affection that he says to everyone. But, now that he thinks about it, Buck has never said that to him. Why did Ravi get “love you”s from Buck, and he didn’t. Eddie thought they were best friends, but if Buck won’t even say love you to him – like he does to literally every other person they know – maybe they aren’t as close as Eddie thought they were. Has he been misreading everything? He feels like he is going to throw up. 

He carefully wraps his fingers around Buck’s wrist, pulling gently to lift up his arm, intending to slide out of bed and pace in the bathroom until the sun comes up. But as soon as he has Buck’s arm lifted an inch off his body, Buck breaks free of Eddie’s grasp, reaching back down across Eddie’s chest, pulling him closer, every inch of their bodies connecting from their head to their toes, Eddie’s back plastered to Buck’s chest. 

Eddie tries again, reaching down to tug again at Buck’s wrist, but he doesn’t budge. Buck sighs softly against Eddie’s back and he shivers, despite his skin feeling like it’s on fire. Buck feels it, and pulls him even closer, nuzzling into the back of his neck, scruff scratching at the sensitive skin there. 

“Stop thinking so much,” Buck grumbles, voice thick with sleep. He can’t tell if he’s awake or dreaming, sleep clinging to the edges of his mind, threatening to drag him under again – or maybe for the first time? All he knows is he can feel how tense his body is, the restless movements and fidgets, but most of all he can feel Eddie’s mind swirling, and knows that he needs to do something to calm him down and get him to go to bed. 

“Sorry,” Eddie whispers, throat feeling tight. He tries, he really does, to be still and let sleep take him – anything to get out of his own head – but he can’t. He’s fidgeting restlessly, legs twitching, fingers swirling around in the bed sheets, breathing speeding up. His fingertips start to tingle, and his hands are shaking. He’s about to try again to break free of the bed when Buck finally sighs, and grips him by the hips, rolling him over. Eddie gasps softly, chests bumping together. 

They are inches apart, breath mingling in the space between their faces. Their legs are tangled together, and Eddie’s arm is slung over Buck’s waist. There is really and truly no way for them to be any closer than they already are. Buck’s chest is cool against his, and he scooches even closer, trying to chill the fire that is his skin.

Buck blinks at him sleepily, concern in his gaze. “What’s happening in here?” he whispers, tapping softly against Eddie’s temple before running a hand through his bed tousled hair. Eddie leans in to the touch subconsciously, unable to stop himself from chasing Buck’s hands on his body however they may get there. 

Buck’s concern grows as he watches Eddie. His eyebrows are furrowed and he is thinking so hard, and for once, Buck can’t figure out what it’s about – and that’s not sitting right with him. He and Eddie have always had a way of communicating without words, always just instinctively understanding each other without having to try very hard. It pisses the rest of the team off to no end, their ability to talk without speaking, especially when they both randomly burst into laughter, unable to put into words exactly what is happening, but both just knowing. 

Eddie takes a moment to respond, wanting to choose his words carefully, not giving too much away because he really doesn’t know what is happening, and he knows he shouldn’t be doing this here, not now, in the middle of the night. But he can’t sleep, can’t breathe, with this thought plaguing his mind and he has to get it out. 

“You’re my best friend,” Eddie swallows thickly. He hopes that Buck just gets it and that he doesn't have to explain any further. He hopes he doesn’t have to explain how much Buck means to him and how he wants to mean that much to Buck. He hopes he doesn’t have to explain that the desire to mean to Buck the equivalent of what Buck means to him is sending him into the biggest spiral he has ever experienced over a relationship he has had as an adult – and considering his past, that says a lot. He hopes that by telling Buck he is his best friend, it will settle the feelings in his stomach, give him the relief he is searching for. 

He wouldn’t even be able to begin to explain how hearing those two little whispered words is making him feel like his world is crumbling – the very foundation of everything he thought he knew disappearing. He wouldn’t be able to discuss how he feels like he’s in free fall, wondering how, or if, he’s going to land. He wouldn’t know how to talk about how the past two days with Buck have made him feel. He wouldn’t be able to say how badly he wants Buck to say those words to him over and over, in every context possible. He wouldn’t be able to because the thoughts don’t exist, they aren’t even acknowledged as possibilities. 

“You’re mine, too. Is…is that what’s bothering you?” 

“No, I-I just –” he cuts himself off, mouth opening and closing a few times. How do you tell your best friend that you’re upset he doesn’t tell you he loves you enough and not sound like a whiny child? He takes a deep breath and tries again, abandoning his confusing feelings at the last second and focusing on only what he knows and understands, “well, yeah, I-I guess. I just never want you to not be my best friend.” 

Buck nods once slowly. He can tell that that is not exactly what was on Eddie’s mind – at least not all of it – but he seems to feel better having gotten that part off his chest, so he’s just going to leave it for now. If Eddie has something else to tell him, he will, in his own time. “Okay. I don’t see that happening any time soon. Or, ever , really. Told you I’d always have your back, Eddie, and I meant it.”

Eddie breathes out a small huff of relief. Buck gets it. Eddie’s lips pull into a smile, and he nods at Buck against the pillows. “Right. Me too,” he whispers. 

“Great. Is that all?” 

Eddie nods again. Buck confirming their friendship was comforting, on multiple levels. It helps keep things clear, helps redefine the line of what they are doing here – just two best friends having each other’s back, and affirms his place in Buck’s life which is something he didn't know he needed. 

“Amazing, now go to sleep,” Buck says, tugging Eddie impossibly closer, hips rocking together as he maneuvers their bodies comfortably, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes, ready to go back to sleep. The words best friends still feel weird on his lips for reasons he can’t identify, but they would have felt especially odd being spoken between their intertwined bodies as they share a bed – luckily, Eddie doesn’t seem to notice or mind that Buck didn’t use those specific words. 

Eddie is just so warm, radiating heat into his chilly skin that he couldn’t help but fold his body over Eddie’s, crowding every inch of his space. He wraps his arms around Eddie, pressing a palm against his lower back, rubbing small circles with his fingertips, feeling the goosebumps he elicits. 

Except, being this close to someone this warm is having effects on his body that he can't control. It's just the closeness – he hasn't been able to be so close to someone in so long that he can't control himself. Any other circumstance, he would be able to stop it, but it had just been so long (of course, that is ignoring the ample time he has spent touching Eddie in the past two days, but that's different – it's fake, it doesn't count). 

Despite his best efforts, and the lingering effects of sleep still clinging to his consciousness, Buck starts to thicken in his sweatpants, hips jutting against Eddie nearly imperceptibly. He feels the familiar spark of arousal zip up his spine, and his skin starts to heat up. He is fully hard, and straining against the fabric of his boxers. He hopes Eddie can’t feel it, but seeing as how their bodies could not possibly get closer together, that is probably unlikely. 

He can’t do this here – Eddie needs to sleep. He begins to untangle himself, intending to go to the bathroom and fix the situation he’s experiencing, but Eddie hooks his ankle back around Buck’s leg, and tightens his arms, keeping him in place. 

“Where are you going?” he asks, pulling back to look at Buck. 

It’s dark, but Eddie watches as Buck flushes, and he immediately knows where Buck was heading. “Going to go shower again?” he teases. Buck’s blush grows darker, and his head turners to the side, very evidently avoiding Eddie’s gaze. Eddie can barely see, the light from the moon and the alarm clock on the nightstand are the only things illuminating the room, but he doesn’t need to see to know. He knows Buck, and that’s all he needs. 

“No, I-I was just, um. Bathroom,” he says. Eddie reaches up between the and grips Buck’s chin between his fingers, turning his head back to face him. Buck’s lips are parted and his breath is coming in short. In the safety of the dark room, Eddie allows himself the opportunity to stare at the pink, plump lips without shame, without hiding. He memorizes the way they move on each exhale, caressing the curve of them with his thumb. 

“Bathroom to do what, exactly?”

“Are you seriously asking me about my bathroom habits right now? Why would you want to know that?” Buck asks, face twisting up. 

Eddie huffs a quiet laugh at that. “Because I know you were going in there to take care of this,” he whispers, reaching his free hand down and cupping Buck through his sweats. Buck gasps quietly, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth, letting his eyes fall shut. 

Eddie was just on the verge of a fucking panic attack about their best friendship or something, and now he’s holding Buck’s dick in his hand. Whatever, he’s not going to ask questions. 

“When are you going to learn, Buck, that every time you come, it’s with me – for me? What part of that don’t you understand?” Eddie says, giving Buck a squeeze. 

Buck’s eyes are still closed, and he screws them up tight. “I-I just don’t want to-to make you, um, uncomfortable,” he explains, licking the lips of his incredibly dry mouth. 

“Buck, look at me,” Eddie says, moving his hand on Buck’s chin to cup his cheek. Buck blinks his eyes open, meeting Eddie’s immediately. “You don’t make me uncomfortable. I want this, Buck, you have to know that.” 

“I-I do know that, but I still…you’re straight–”

“Buck.”

“– and we’re friends–”

“Buck.”

“– and this is not what you signed up for when you agreed to come here and–”

“Ev,” Eddie says, exasperated, trying to get Buck’s attention back on him – it works. The nickname stops him cold in his tracks, blush creeping onto his cheeks, and Eddie feels a small swell of pride in his chest at that. Eddie’s hand sweeps from his cheek back to his curls, tugging gently. Buck’s mouth is still open from where he was stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening slightly as he looks at Eddie. 

“What?” 

“Stop. We have talked about this so much already, I need you to just trust me. Don’t think about anything. Just focus on this, okay? Focus on me. ‘M your best friend, your boyfriend. Nothing is gonna change that, you just said that. I want this, I want you. Now can you please stop so I can fuck you?” he asks, leaning in and running his nose up the length of Buck’s neck. Buck gasps quietly, tilting his head to give Eddie more access. Eddie can't help it. He knows he shouldn't, but best friends help each other, right? Take care of each other. That's what they are, so that's what they should do. So, while, yes, this is helping to get them more comfortable as fake boyfriends, it is also affirming his place as Buck's best friend. It makes perfect sense if you think about it. 

“Mmhm, yeah, okay,” Buck agrees, bringing a hand up to Eddie’s hair, threading his fingers through the soft strands there. 

Eddie squeezes Buck again through his sweats, and Buck’s hips jerk into his palm, chasing friction as he places open mouthed kisses along Buck’s neck. The hickeys and bite marks are starting to fade, and that realization has Eddie sinking his canine’s in the place where Buck’s shoulder and neck meet. Buck groans, hand tightening in Eddie’s hair. 

Eddie slowly works his way up Buck’s neck, sucking marks and leaving bites until he is nibbling at the sensitive skin behind Buck’s ear, eliciting soft, sweet noises from his pretty pink lips. Eddie licks down the outer shell of Buck’e ear, making him shiver, and then gently sucks his earlobe between his teeth, pulling at it gently. 

Buck is panting, tugging at Eddie’s hair, hips rolling up into Eddie’s touch. 

“Eds, c’mon, more,” he says, breathless. 

Eddie nips at Buck’s jaw. “Patience, cari. You’re only getting one right now, so we have to make it last, yeah? Can you be patient for me?” 

Buck nods eagerly, and Eddie pulls back to look at him. “So good for me, Buck. Such a good boy,” he whispers, eyes trained on Buck’s parted lips as a whine leaves them. “Get naked.” 

Buck moves quickly, hands fumbling to pull off his hoodie, t-shirt, sweats, boxers and socks – he curses his body for always being cold at night, making him have extra layers to pull off before he can fulfill Eddie’s wishes. Eddie watches him, resting leaned back on his elbows, smirk on his face. 

Buck finally pulls off his last sock, tossing it to the floor with the rest of his clothes, flopping back onto his back, cock hard and leaking, resting on his stomach as his head rolls to look at Eddie. Eddie just looks back, taking in the beautiful sight of Buck – his messy sleep curls, the red and puffy teeth marks on his neck, his broad chest, bulging biceps, soft yet muscular stomach, hard cock laying between thick thighs, restless feet. Eddie’s eyes trail him from head to toe and back up several times, unable to tear his gaze away from how stunning the man laying in front of him is. 

“What?” Buck asks, face flushing, turning his head away from Eddie, almost like he’s embarrassed. Eddie realizes with a punch to the gut that Buck is embarrassed, bashful from Eddie’s attention to his body. 

“Buck,” he says, voice ragged, throat dry. Buck hums in response, but keeps his eyes deliberately pointed away from Eddie. 

“Nuh-uh, baby, c’mon, you know I need to see those pretty eyes.” 

Buck blinks a few times, takes a deep breath, and turns to look at Eddie, breath catching when their eyes connect. Eddie smiles softly, reaching out to thread fingers through Buck’s curls. 

“There he is,” Eddie whispers. “You are so beautiful.” 

Buck swallows thickly. “You too, Eds.” 

Eddie leans in, pressing a kiss to Buck’s birthmark with a soft mwah , and continues pressing kisses down Buck’s face, jaw, neck, and chest as he works his way down Buck’s body. Eddie climbs in between Buck’s legs, gently pushing them further apart with palms on his inner thighs. Eddie hears Buck’s breath catch in his throat, and he grins against Buck’s thigh where he is sucking another mark. Eddie kisses his way until his breath fans over Buck’s hot cock where it rests against his stomach, precome pooling at his tip. 

Buck tenses, waiting for contact, but Eddie keeps teasing him, avoiding pressure where he wants it the most. Eddie leans down, mouthing at Buck’s balls, scooping one into his mouth with his tongue. Buck moans, hand flying out to ground himself in Eddie’s hair. Eddie’s hand comes up to palm at the other ball, rolling it between his fingers, listening to the way Buck groans at the sensation. Buck’s hips jerk up, searching for friction, and Eddie’s free arm reaches up to pin them to the bed, leaving him unable to move. 

“Eddie, I can’t, c’mon, please,” Buck says between heaving breaths. 

Eddie pulls back, looking up at Buck between his lashes. “Well, since you asked so kindly.”

He leans in again, licking a stripe up Buck’s cock, huge member twitching under his tongue, making him smile yet again. He gets so much joy from making Buck feel good. He loves knowing that Buck is falling apart because of him. Loves knowing that Buck will never forget the way he feels when he is with Eddie. 

Eddie licks up to the tip, lapping at the pool of precome gathererred on Buck’s soft stomach, and runs his tongue over Buck’s slit, making Buck’s hand tighten in his hair. Eddie sucks Buck’s tip into his mouth, groaning at the weight on his tongue, and the sound is echoed by the man above him. Eddie swallows Buck to the base, gagging slightly at the sensation of Buck in his throat, but he breathes through his nose, and continues, bobbing his head up and down Buck’s length. 

“Eddie,” Buck whines, running his fingers gently through Eddie’s hair. Eddie continues his motions on Buck, but looks up at him from between his legs, watching as Buck breathes hard through parted lips, watches as the flush from his cheeks spreads down to his chest, watches Buck’s wide eyes take in the scene before him. Eddie hollows his cheeks and sucks hard, pushing against Buck’s hips when he starts to arch off the bed. 

“Ed–” Buck tries again, breaking off on a cry when Eddie swirls his tongue around Buck’s tip and takes him to the base again. Eddie bobs once, twice, three times more on Buck’s length and then pulls off entirely, knowing that Buck’s tightening muscles and shallow, fast breaths means he’s close to coming, and Eddie isn’t anywhere close to done with him. 

Eddie reaches out with both hands and cups Buck’s cheeks, spreading him open gently, revealing his puckered hole. He swirls his tongue around his mouth, gathering his spit, and then he lets it drip right onto Buck’s entrance, reveling in the choked noise Buck makes from above him. Eddie leans down, running his tongue around Buck’s rim. He teases him, flicking his tongue back and forth over the sensitive skin. 

Buck opens his mouth and is about to beg Eddie to hurry up, to fuck him, to do something, when Eddie plunges his tongue into Buck, wiggling his way past the tight ring of muscle. Eddie swirls his tongue inside of Buck, and Buck is losing it, letting out a stream of curses and high-pitched moans. 

Buck’s hands reach out, scrabbling for purchase in the sheets, twisting his fingers in the fabric instead of Eddie’s hair. Eddie’s palms land on Buck’s inner thighs, fingers digging into the fleshy muscle there, certain he’s leaving crescent shaped marks, but not caring, knowing that he and Buck both like to see the leftover remains of their activities. 

Eddie works Buck open using his tongue, thrusting in and out, and mouthing at the skin between Buck’s entrance and his balls, making him yelp when Eddie scrapes his teeth there lightly. 

Eddie gives Buck’s thighs a squeeze and pulls back, slipping off the foot of the bed. Buck’s head lifts up, curls pointing in every direction, pupils blown wide. 

“Eddie? Wh-where are you–” Buck starts, confused, until he sees Eddie heading toward his special black bag, and he cuts off, face flushing. His head falls back on the pillows and his eyes lock on the ceiling. How the hell did they get here? Eddie is his straight best friend who flew all the way across the country to come with him to this wedding, and somehow they are now fake dating and having sex to practice. He doesn’t know what he did in this life to deserve a friend like Eddie Diaz, but he thanks his lucky stars that he did something right to earn his friendship. Because with Eddie comes Chris, and Buck loves that kid like he is his own – he misses Chris, he’ll have to get Eddie to call him later so they can catch up. He hasn’t spent more than a few days without talking to Chris since they met, and he’s having a bit of withdrawal. Having Eddie here is helping, but it’s not quite the same. 

All coherent thoughts leave his brain as Eddie reaches a hand back and yanks his t-shirt over his head in one swift motion. Suddenly the only thing on Buck’s mind is EddieEddieEddie. Eddie walks back over to the foot of the bed, tossing the small bag in between Buck’s legs, stepping out of his boxers. Buck’s eyes drift down his chest and snag on his cock, standing hard, proud, and leaking. Eddie reaches down and strokes himself a few times, keeping his eyes on Buck’s bright blue ones. Buck stares back, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Eddie pumps himself nice and slow, keeping eye contact with the big man on the bed until he is squirming impatiently. Eddie grins at him, and finally reaches out and unzips the bag. 

He pulls out the bottle of lube and the pink dildo, and then zips the bag back up, tossing it onto the nightstand. Buck pops up onto his elbow, looking down at the items Eddie laid out. 

“What’s that for?” Buck asks, eyeing the dildo curiously. 

“Do you trust me?” Eddie asks, picking up the items and settling in between Buck’s legs. 

“What does that have to do with–”

“Buck. Do you trust me?” Eddie repeats slowly. 

“Of course I do, Eds. Yes, I trust you,” Buck says, nodding. 

“Good boy. Open wider,” Eddie says, tapping at the Buck’s knee. Buck spreads his legs wider, bending his knees up. 

“This okay for your leg?” Eddie asks, palming Buck’s bad calf and kneading it gently. 

Buck huffs, but smiles. “Yeah, ‘m good. Need you, please.” 

“Patience, remember?” 

Buck twists his face up and sticks his tongue out, and Eddie laughs.

“Careful with that tongue, baby, or I’ll find something useful for you to do with it,” Eddie warns, pointing a finger at him. Buck grins, tongue still sticking out between his lips, and he looks remarkably like a golden retriever.  

Eddie tilts his head and raises his eyebrow, and Buck’s smile immediately drops, tongue retreating into his mouth. Oh, he’s serious. He tucks that information into his brain in case it comes in handy for the future. But for now, he wants to be good , needs Eddie’s hands back on him as soon as possible. 

“That’s what I thought,” Eddie laughs, shaking his head. He places the dildo on the bed off to the side, and snaps the cap of the lube, squirting some onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm the gel and spread it evenly. He reaches his hand down and rubs his finger against Buck’s rim, making him grip fists in the sheets, head falling back against the pillows with a moan. 

“No teasing, Eddie, please, ‘m dying,” Buck says, voice strained, hips jerking down, trying to get Eddie inside him. Eddie keeps up his tortuous pace, slowly circling Buck’s entrance. Eddie doesn’t respond, just slowly inserts his pointer finger up to the first knuckle, and Buck moans, clenching around him instinctively. Buck’s hips shift, and he pushes himself further onto Eddie’s finger. Eddie bites into his bottom lip, watching the way Buck’s hole closes around his finger. 

“Go ahead, baby, fuck yourself on my finger, c’mon,” Eddie says, eyes fixed at the place where their bodies join. Buck lets out a choked groan, and wastes no time in setting a brutal pace, thrusting himself back against Eddie with abandon. Eddie slips in a second and then a third finger, letting Buck push down against up. He curls his fingers up and hits that perfect spot inside of him making him cry out, thighs shaking. 

Eddie pulls his fingers from Buck suddenly, wiping his fingers clean, watching his hole clench around nothing, adjusting to the sudden emptiness. Buck whines at the loss, eyes blinking open, head lifting to look at Eddie, pleading look already on his face. Eddie maneuvers himself so he is hovering over Buck. bracing himself on one hand, the other rubbing gently through Buck’s curls, cupping his cheek gently. Buck’s eyes are red-rimmed, and tears prick at them, the need to come nearly overwhelming. 

“Eddie, please, I-I need you, please I have to–” Buck chokes off on a sob, breath coming in fast. His skin is hot and he has sweat beading on his temples. 

“I know, baby, I’m right here. ‘M gonna take care of you, okay?” Eddie soothes, brushing his curls back from his face. Eddie’s here. Everything is better when Eddie’s here. Eddie reaches over again, pulling a tie from his bag on the floor. He settles back between Buck’s legs, and holds it up in a question. Buck bites on his bottom lip and considers – he loves being able to look at Eddie, knows that the opportunity to see Eddie falling apart in front of him is going to end soon, and doesn’t want to waste a single second of it, but on the other hand, he trusts Eddie entirely and loves the idea of being at his complete mercy. He flicks his eyes up to Eddie’s and sees nothing but patience, understanding, and… something, something warm. He nods, deciding to give everything over to Eddie. 

Eddie’s hands work skillfully, reaching up and tying the blindfold around Buck’s eyes snugly. He won’t lie – he tried to peek, tilting his head around to try and see if there’s a gap in the fabric, but he couldn’t find anything, well and truly in the dark. 

Eddie kisses his curls, his cheek, his neck, his shoulder, and then he disappears. Buck knows Eddie is still close by – he can always feel when Eddie is in the room with him, it’s like his senses alight, always able to find him in a crowded room in an instant – and he’s within touching distance, but he can’t feel him touching him anywhere. 

Buck jerks as he feels wetness around his nipple, Eddie’s tongue tracing a damp path around the stiffening nub. Eddie’s teeth close gently around the peak, pulling a moan out of Buck. Eddie sucks his nipple into his mouth, tongue swirling around the bud. Eddie licks his way across Buck’s chest, continuing his work on Buck’s other nipple as his hand comes up to twist and pull on the nipple he just left until Buck is shaking underneath his touch. 

Buck hears the cap on the lube sound again, the slight squelching sound as Eddie coats himself, and then feels Eddie line himself up and push forward, tip popping through the muscle, making them both groan. Eddie continues forward, seating himself fully inside of Buck. He gives Buck a second to adjust, pressing kisses all over Buck’s jaw, cheeks, and forehead as he grinds into him, rolling his hips minutely. 

“Eds,” Buck whispers. Eddie hums in response, continuing his effort of kissing all over Buck’s face. He feels Buck’s chest start to vibrate under him, laughter floating into his ear. “Eddie,” Buck says, more insistently, trying to get his attention. He feels like he’s going to explode, his need for friction overwhelming. 

Eddie presses one last kiss to his favorite spot on Buck’s beautiful face – his pink birthmark, flushed deep with color at the moment – and pulls back, looking at his blindfolded Buck with a soft smile. “What?” 

Buck can hear the smile in his voice, can picture exactly what his expression looks like right now, but he can’t see it, and it’s driving him crazy. One of the last times he will ever be able to see Eddie flushed, sweaty, and horny above him, and he’s missing it. If it wasn’t so fucking hot, he would have protested, needing to be able to see Eddie, not wanting to waste it. But enhancing his sense of feeling was a good trade off – Eddie makes everything feel incredible, even just simple, dry kisses to his face and neck have him going feral like he never has before. 

“I-I need you to move. Please. Feel like I’m gonna die,” he says, rolling his own hips, taking Eddie impossibly deeper. Eddie’s eyes darken, looking at Buck hungrily. “You sure you can handle me, Buck?” 

Buck nods eagerly, ready to do anything and everything to get what he wants, and Eddie grins, biting into his bottom lip. He pulls nearly all the way out of Buck and slams back home, burying himself to the hilt, pulling groans from both of them. 

“So fucking tight , baby, fuck,” Eddie says, head dropping to press his forehead against Buck’s, eyes falling closed. Eddie starts pumping into Buck slowly, reveling in the way Buck feels around him.

“Feel so good, Eddie, ungh, fuck,” Buck grunts. Eddie nods against him, then pulls back, hovering above Buck again, setting a fast pace, pumping into him. Buck’s head lolls to the side, and Eddie is helpless – before he can even think about it, his teeth are sinking into Buck’s skin, biting, nipping and kissing along the column of his neck. Buck is so lost in the sensation of Eddie sliding into him and his mouth on his neck that it takes him an embarrassingly long time to realize there is something else nudging at his entrance next to Eddie. 

Buck gasps softly, and he lifts his head, even knowing he won’t be able to see anything, and Eddie easily follows him, still kissing at his neck. “E-Eddie, what is…what’re you doing?” he asks. 

“I think you can handle it, Buck, don’t you?” he teases, rubbing the dildo harder against his entrance. Buck’s breath hitches, and he nods. He trusts Eddie implicitly, and if Eddie thinks he can handle it, then he will – Eddie has never been wrong, and Buck highly doubts this is when he will start. So if Eddie believes in him, he will do it. 

Eddie lines up the dildo under his own cock where it is still inside of Buck. He presses forward slowly, not wanting to rush Buck. They both feel it as soon as the head of the dildo enters Buck alongside Eddie. Buck lets out a long groan, head falling back on the pillows. Eddie’s head immediately lifts to check on him, seeing his bottom lip being chewed on. Eddie leaves the dildo where it is, but lets go of it, bracketing his hands on either side of Buck’s head, leaning down and pressing kisses everywhere he can reach. 

“Breathe for me, baby,” Eddie whispers against his ear, sending goosebumps erupting down his back. Buck’s lips part and he sucks in a huge lungful of air. “Good boy.” 

Buck whines, back arching, pressing his chest up against Eddie’s. “You okay, Buck?” Eddie asks softly, pressing another kiss to his curls. Buck feels like he is going to explode, but not for the reasons one might think. His chest tightens and he feels like his heart is going to burst, warm sensation settling in his gut. He feels so content. So happy. Satisfied in nearly every way that counts. Eddie cares, so deeply. He doesn’t have to be going so slowly or checking in on him at every point, but he does , and that has Buck feeling like he’s on cloud nine – he’s never had a partner care about him so much, making sure he is feeling good while also taking charge of him. The balance Eddie has between sweet and caring, and hot and controlling is heady, and causes heat to pool in his gut. 

“More. Please, Eddie,” he begs, voice raspy and cracking at the edges, raw and vulnerable, begging his best friend to finish sliding a second cock in his hole. 

Eddie obliges, pressing a kiss to his cheek with a soft mwah, hand trailing lightly down Buck’s chest, muscles contracting under his touch, until he reaches the silicone cock between Buck’s cheeks, twisting it slightly, making Buck’s back arch. “Such a good fucking boy, aren’t you, Buck?” 

Buck nods again, words that were on the tip of his tongue flying out of his brain completely as Eddie begins to slowly press the dildo in, Buck stretching around the double intrusion. Eddie gets the dildo into the hilt and leaves it there, letting Buck adjust to the sensation. He’s leaning down toward Buck’s ear, one hand coming up and cupping his tit, squeezing gently and pinching at his nipple. “Look at you, Buck. Taking two cocks like you were made for it. Bet you feel so full right now, huh? So full, aren’t you? Such a little slut for my cock, aren’t you, baby?” Eddie teases. 

Buck’s back arches, pressing his chest against Eddie, and a guttural groan is torn from his chest. “ Yes , fuck, Eddie, mmhm, god, feel so fucking big in me.”

“Say it.” 

“Sa-say what?” Buck slurs, thoroughly drunk on hormones and dick. 

“Say that you’re a slut for me,” Eddie says, twisting Buck’s nipple with his thumb and index finger, pulling a moan out of the man below him. 

“I-I’m, ungh, fuck, ‘m yours, always been yours, Eds, such a slut for you, only for you, nobody else, you get me like this, that’s it, please,” Buck rambles, words jumbling together as his hips rock against Eddie, trying to get some friction, some movement. 

“So fucking good for me, baby. So handsome, so tight, so kind, so thoughtful, so sweet,” Eddie says, peppering Buck’s face with kisses, feeling soft skin, rough stubble, and silky fabric meeting his lips as he works his way around Buck’s face. 

“I, ah, more,” Buck says, voice desperate and pleading. 

“Can’t yet, mi sol, need to make sure you’re ready. Don’t want to move too fast and hurt you,” Eddie murmurs, moving down to press slow kisses to Buck’s neck. 

“‘M okay, Eds, please, please, fuck me, please, you have to– I need you to, ungh, god, please, Eddie,” Buck babbles, pushing his hips down, trying to fuck himself on Eddie and the extra cock. Eddie chuckles softly against his skin, placing one final kiss against the corner of his mouth as he pulls back just enough to look at Buck, still hovering over him. 

Buck’s skin tingles where he can still feel Eddie's lips, and he briefly wonders what those lips would feel like against his – would the kiss be soft and sweet, or desperate and passionate? Or maybe a mix of both, nipping at each other's lips and licking into each other's mouths – yeah, that sounds more accurate. There’s a pang of… regret, potentially, that he will never get the answer to those questions, will never get to know what Buck’s lips feel like, what they taste like, will never get to know how Buck would kiss him back. He may never get to feel Buck’s lips – at least, not on his – but he does get to feel Buck clenching around him, and right now, that’s what he chooses to focus on. 

Eddie keeps his weight all on one hand, planting it firmly on the mattress by Buck’s head, and uses the other hand to trail down his chest and reach in between their bodies, grabbing the dildo by the base again, and Buck gasps, feeling it shift inside him. 

Slowly, Eddie pulls it back, forehead pressing against Buck’s as a moan leaves his mouth at the sensation of the silicone cock sliding against his own. 

“Holy fuck, you feel so good,” Eddie whispers, closing his eyes briefly – the sensation of Buck squeezing around him coupled with the slide of the dildo nearly pushing him to the edge already. 

“Eddie,” Buck says, voice dry and cracking. “Please, I-I feel like I’m going to die, I need to come, I need you to fuck me, please, I need it, I need you, I–” he breaks off on a sob, chest heaving. Eddie watches as a tear slips out from under the blindfold, sliding down his cheeks, leaving a shiny, wet trail behind it. 

Eddie lowers himself to his elbow, crowding Buck’s space even more, pressing their bodies even closer, trapping his own arm in between them at an awkward angle, but none of that matters. He presses his lips against Buck’s tear, tasting the salty liquid and kissing the path away. 

“I’m here, baby. I know, I got you,” he murmurs against Buck’s cheek. 

Eddie plunges the fake dick back inside Buck as he slides himself out to the tip, setting an alternating pace that has Buck writhing beneath him, hands coming up and clawing at Eddie’s back, pulling him even closer, plastering Eddie to his chest. He starts slowly, alternating pumps with his hand and his hips, a constant stream of pleasure falling from Buck’s lips. He starts to speed up, feeling himself nearing the edge, punching little uh, uh, uh’s from Buck every time he bottoms out. 

Buck is trying to pull Eddie inside his body – would crack open his own chest and tuck Eddie inside if he could, but even feeling Eddie sliding through his body and clutching at Eddie’s back with his nails isn’t close enough. He could never be too close to Eddie, always choosing to sit knee-to-knee and walk shoulder-to-shoulder. The double sensation is insane , something he has never felt before and would never feel again, not without Eddie. He is on the edge, having been teased for the better part of an hour now, desperate to come, noises and unformed pleas escaping him. 

“So fucking perfect for me, Buck. Just made to take my cock. You and that greedy hole. Feel so fucking good,” Eddie says, leaning in and licking down Buck’s neck and latching onto his shoulder, feeling the way the muscles contract when Buck’s arms squeeze around Eddie every time his cock brushes that spot inside him – the most perfect, endless cycle. 

As each thrust sends him closer to the edge, he bites marks into Buck’s skin, soothing the sting with his tongue, listening to Buck’s whimpers in his ear. Once he feels like he can’t hold back any longer, he pulls the dildo out of Buck and tosses it onto the bed next to them, both of them moaning at the way Buck clenches, adjusting to the new feeling of just Eddie pumping into him. 

Eddie is so close, needing just a little something to push him over the edge, but he couldn’t figure out what. He sinks his teeth into Buck again, seeing if the way his canines dig into his fleshy muscle will be the thing that sends him toppling into a pleasure ravine, and while it’s good and hot – he has kind of a biting thing – it’s just not quite enough. There’s a bead of sweat rolling down his temple, and Buck’s blunt fingernails are digging into his back with just the right amount of pressure. Eddie hopes he leaves marks. 

“Buck,” Eddie says his name like a prayer, and his cock jerks in response. His entire body feels like it’s about to burst into flames – he is so hot and horny he is actually surprised he hasn’t come yet. Eddie has been lighting his body up with pleasure, sending sparks skirting across his every nerve ending. He has been teetering on the edge for a while, needing one final thing to push him over the edge. 

“I-I… fuck, ‘m so close,” Buck grunts in time with Eddie’s thrusts. 

“Me too, I’m right there,” Eddie says, voice rough around the edges. 

“More,” Buck whines. 

Eddie agrees , but he’s at a loss of what to do. What more could Buck possibly need to get off? Maybe the same thing Eddie himself needs. He feels frustration starting to grow – frustration that he can’t please Buck, but also frustration because he wants to come, needs to. 

The realization hits him like a train – or like the brightest light just got turned on in the darkest room. A smile grows on his face, and the hand not bearing the brunt of his weight reaches up and pushes the tie that was covering his eyes off of Buck’s head. 

Buck’s eyes immediately snap open, searching for Eddie’s in the darkness. As soon as their eyes connect, Eddie lets out a punched-out grunt as he comes, pushing all the way into Buck, emptying his load deep inside the bigger man. Buck follows a split second behind him, finally tipped over the edge, coming untouched, shooting ropes of come up between their chests, sticky mess spreading between the two of them. Both of them pant into the small space between their faces, breath mingling, hot and heavy. 

Eddie presses his forehead against Buck’s, both of their eyes falling closed as they take in the comfort of each other’s presence, slowly floating back down to earth together. Once their breathing has calmed down and their racing hearts have slowed, Eddie pushes himself up again, slowly pulling out of Buck’s abused hole, the man below him whimpering at the loss. Eddie peels himself off of Buck, and shuffles backwards on the bed. 

He reaches off the side to grab the previously discarded black bag, opening it and rummaging through. He finds what he’s looking for and straightens back up between Buck’s legs. He freezes when he glances up at Buck’s face – his eyes are closed and he is flushed and sweaty, curls messy and going in every direction, birthmark and cheeks bright pink, and his mouth is open, tongue sticking out and waiting. Eddie is confused for a brief moment before he realizes what Buck is doing – he’s waiting for Eddie to suck his own come out of Buck’s ass and feed it to him. The fact that Buck is ready, willing, and waiting for him to do so makes fire lick up his spine. It’s almost enough to kick his cock up again, but he chooses to breathe through it, memorizing the way Buck looks right now. 

Buck is a handsome man. He’s handsome all the time – Eddie is man enough to admit that, comfortable enough in his masculinity to be able to acknowledge the fact that Buck is incredibly handsome. But this version of Buck – the fucked out, flushed, sweaty, pleasured Buck, the Buck that is laying in front of him with his mouth open, waiting for come, the Buck that listens to what he says, that trusts him enough to try new things and let him take the lead with no fear, this Buck – it is his very favorite. 

The band he keeps around his self-control has long since snapped, so he doesn’t even try to stop himself as he leans over Buck, lowering himself until he is just inches from Buck’s face. He does it swiftly, not wanting to think about it too much, trying to stay out of his head and just follow his instincts. He leans even closer, and sticks his own tongue out, swiping it quickly against Buck’s in a slick glide. He leans back and settles between Buck’s legs again as Buck’s eyes pop open, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Eddie’s cheeks flush pink, but he feels confident that in the darkness of the room, Buck won’t be able to tell. He gets back to work, not wanting to waste any more time. 

Buck feels dizzy, shock hitting his system after he felt Eddie’s tongue on his. It was gone too soon, and he wishes he could ask for more, but he knows that’s a line they shouldn’t cross, so he swallows his pleas. He watches as Eddie blushes where he sits between his legs, reaching out for something he tossed on the bed earlier. Buck is too busy cataloguing Eddie – his flushed and tacky skin, his wild hair, warm eyes, come smeared chest – to recognize what is happening. Suddenly, he feels Eddie’s fingers prodding at him again, and a whine slips out of his throat before he can catch it. 

“Shh, I know, baby, but I can’t let any escape, ‘m sorry,” Eddie murmurs. It’s only then that Buck realizes what he’s doing – pushing the come that is leaking out of his hole back inside him, or at least trying to. 

“Eds,” Buck pants, nearing overstimulation, overly sensitive after their most recent method acting session. 

“Almost there, Buck, you can do it,” Eddie says softly, using his free hand to squeeze Buck’s bad calf. Buck tosses his head back on the pillows and nods, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Eddie pumps into him two more times, and then traces a light finger against Buck’s rim and drags it up his crack, collecting any come that had spilled out that was unsalvageable. He takes the hand off Buck’s calf, and grabs the item he searched for – one of the butt plugs from Buck’s bag. He pressed the tip to Buck slowly, grinning at the gasp Buck lets out. He slides the plug into place easily, giving it a gentle tap once it’s nestled inside Buck, making Buck groan. 

Eddie clears his throat, holding up his finger. “Open up,” he says, nerves settling in too late as he immediately regrets the words as they leave his mouth. Except, Buck’s eyes flick open, training on Eddie’s hand, and they light up, nodding eagerly, mouth opening once again, waiting for whatever Eddie is willing to provide. Eddie needs to learn to stop underestimating Buck – he wants to erase all the nerves from their situation, because there is not a single fucking thing that Eddie could ask for that Buck wouldn’t provide, or die trying. He needs to make Eddie understand that he wants this, wants to be good for him. Wants to be a good boyfriend for him, at least for the next four days. He is determined, and steels his resolve – today is the day that he is going to make Eddie realize this is okay , and that he doesn’t need to be nervous about pushing the boundaries with Buck. 

Buck pushes himself up into a sitting position, choked noise escaping as he settles due to the plug shifting inside him as well as some general soreness. His fingers wrap gently around Eddie’s wrist, bringing the finger to his mouth. His lips close around it, and now it’s Eddie’s turn to let out a muffled grunt as Buck’s tongue swirls around the digit, collecting the come on his tongue and swallowing it down, savoring the salty taste on his tongue. If he bobs his head a few times more than necessary, hollowing his cheeks as he sucks on Eddie’s fingers, that’s nobody’s business – sue the guy, he has his hot best friend’s come-covered finger in his mouth, he isn’t exactly thinking straight. 

Eddie’s free hand comes up and tugs at his curls, chuckle leaving him as Buck resists. He pulls a bit harder, and Buck allows himself to be yanked off Eddie’s finger, grin on his lips as he looks up at Eddie who is still on his knees in front of him. 

“Got carried away, sorry,” he says, breathless, tongue darting out to lick any remnants off his plump lips. 

Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s kind of your thing. Lay down and stay there. I’ll finish cleaning up and grab you a snack and some pain meds,” he says, pressing a quick mwah to Buck’s birthmark, tugging gently at his curls once more before he moves off the bed, going to collect a warm washcloth, granola bar, bottle of water, and meds for Buck. 

Buck watches Eddie move around the room, gathering supplies to take care of him. That thought tears through him, nearly taking his breath away. Eddie is taking care of him – just like he always does. Eddie has always taken care of him, practically from the moment they met. And now Eddie was taking care of him after they had sex . Eddie. His straight best friend Eddie is taking care of him after sex better than previous partners he has had. That’s kind of embarrassing – maybe Buck has bad taste in partners? He makes a mental note to ask Hen, or maybe Maddie when they get breakfast. 

Buck can’t help himself. He can’t let Eddie do all the work. While Eddie is in the bathroom cleaning himself off and getting a washcloth for Buck, he stands gingerly, wincing a little as he gets used to the sensation of the plug. He reaches for the closest corner of the bed and starts to pull up the soiled sheets. He makes another mental note to leave a tip for the cleaning staff, having to wash set after set of sheets from their room after their…activities. Buck gathers all the old sheets, tossing them in a corner by the desk, and walks to the closet, grabbing a spare set of sheets that are thankfully stored in there. He would have been mortified if they had to call the front desk for new sheets in the middle of the night. 

He has the fitted sheet on the bed, and is working on getting the other one tucked in when Eddie comes back, hands full of items to help Buck, soft smile on his face. When he looks up at Buck, the smile slips off his face. 

“Buck. When are you going to learn that when I say lay down and stay, I mean it.” he says, voice low as he slowly walks over toward where Buck is frozen, hand half under the edge of mattress, mid tuck. 

“Well, I, uh, the sheets,” he says, eyes widening when Eddie sets his stuff down on the bed, grabbing Buck’s hands and standing him up straight. 

“I told you I would finish cleaning. That meant the sheets, too. C’mon, Buck, why won’t you let me just take care of you?” Eddie asks, raw vulnerability flitting across his features. Buck’s heart cracks open as he realizes that Eddie feels like Buck thinks he can’t take care of him. Eddie has always been the provider in the relationship, has been the “man of the house” for far too long, always making sure everyone else has what they need. Buck’s palms slide up Eddie’s arms, coming up to cup his face. 

“Because I want to take care of you, too,” he whispers, searching Eddie’s eyes. He wonders if anyone has ever said those words to the man standing before him, and his heart aches. Eddie blinks a few times, words sinking in. 

“Oh. You don’t have to do that.” 

“I know I don’t have to. I want to. Taking care of you a-and Chris is like, my favorite thing. You don’t have to take care of everyone alone anymore, Eds. ‘M right here,” Buck says earnestly. 

Eddie swallows thickly, emotion clogging his throat. “I like taking care of you, though,” he says, voice quiet, feeling exposed. 

Buck’s eyes soften. “Okay. So, we take care of each other,” he suggests with a small smile. 

Eddie nods his agreement. Then with a smirk adds, “you know my favorite way you take care of me?” 

Buck’s tongue darts out to lick his lips, dropping his hands to Eddie’s waist and gripping, eyes flicking downward, and back up at him, pupils blown. “How?” 

Eddie points his finger in Buck’s face, smirk dropping. “When you listen to me. Now lay down,” he says, pointing at the bed next. 

Buck rolls his eyes. “Yes, sir,” he teases. He’s playing around with Eddie, but he can feel himself starting to get hard again, and he silently wills it to just go away. He moves to go lay on the bed, but Eddie grabs his elbow gently, pulling him back into his space. Eddie’s eyes are dark and hungry. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Buckley,” he says, eyes drifting toward Buck’s lips where his tongue nervously runs across their cracked surface. 

Eddie lets go of him, and turns to pick up the discarded items, but Buck can’t ever just let things go. 

“Wait,” he blurts out, cheeks flushing. His eyes drop for a second to his naked body, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable, feeling like he is about to show his hand, but even he doesn’t know what cards he’s holding. 

Eddie looks over his shoulder with a hum, fingers getting to work fixing the sheet Buck started to situate on the bed. 

All words leave Buck’s brain, so he does the only thing he can think to do at the moment, Eddie’s warning about it from earlier ringing in his ears – he sticks his tongue out at Eddie. Eddie moves immediately, stepping back into Buck’s space in an instant , his hard cock hitting gently against Buck’s thigh. 

Buck blinks, and his back is on the bed, Eddie somehow having turned him around and hooked his ankle so he’s falling backward with a yelp. He scoots up on the bed until the head hits his pillow, eyes wide and trained on Eddie where he is just standing and watching from the foot of the bed. 

Eddie slowly mounts the bed, crawling up his body. He comes to a stop when his face is hovering over Buck’s, eyes blazing. One hand comes up and grips Buck’s jaw loosely, and Buck immediately opens, tongue sticking out flat. Eddie chuckles. 

“Oh, now you want to be a good boy?” 

Buck nods, keeping his mouth so wide Eddie can count his teeth. “Hm, that’s a shame. It’s a little too late, I think,” Eddie says, voice thoughtful, pondering. 

Buck’s eyebrows furrow, but he keeps his mouth open, and Eddie just…he can’t help himself – he drops a string of spit onto Buck’s tongue, even though he knows Buck doesn’t deserve it, even though he knows he shouldn’t – and Buck moans loudly, savoring the taste of Eddie on his tongue before he swallows, looking up at Eddie through his lashes. 

“Gonna put that tongue to use now, baby,” Eddie murmurs as he releases Buck’s jaw and continues climbing up his body. Buck is so dazed he doesn’t even realize what is happening until Eddie plants a knee on either side of his head, body hovering above him, eyes cast downward to look at where Buck is splayed out on the bed. 

“Tongue and one finger, that’s it. Make me come,” Eddie says, lowering himself down to Buck’s face. 

Buck’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Have you ever…?” he trails off, unable to voice the rest of his question. But Eddie knows what he means. Has he ever been fingered before. 

He shakes his head slightly. “No, uh, just you, the other day,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. 

Buck’s eyes grow wide and he wastes no time, hands coming up to cup Eddie’s cheeks, spreading him open. His tongue darts out and circles Eddie’s rim, pulling a gasp from the man above him. Buck decides to give Eddie a taste of his own medicine, tease him a little. His tongue circles around and around and around, and Eddie feels like he’s going to lose it. 

His teeth are digging into his lip so hard he is surprised he doesn’t taste blood. He is using his iron-clad grip on his self-control to keep his hips still, making sure he doesn’t thrust back against Buck’s tongue. 

Buck’s tongue trails away from his hole, leaving a wet stripe across his inner thigh. “Let me hear you, baby. No holding back,” he says, digging his teeth into the sensitive skin on Eddie’s thigh, making the muscles jerk. Once he bites the first time, he can’t help himself, leaving marks across Eddie’s thigh, soothing the sting with his tongue and lips, giving Eddie kisses all around the indented skin. The pet name coming from Buck’s lips, being aimed at him, hits him square in the chest, heat rushing like a wave over his body. 

His tongue returns to Eddie's entrance, and Eddie lets out a loud moan. Buck smiles against his skin, and reciprocates with a moan of his own, vibrations shooting up Eddie's spine. Then, he finally, finally, works his tongue inside of Eddie, pushing through the muscle that clenches around him. One of Eddie's hands flies to the headboard of the bed to stabilize himself and the other threads through the curls on Buck’s head, tight grip grounding both of them. 

Eddie's head tips back and his eyes slide closed, and he lets himself just feel. He feels Buck’s fingertips digging into his ass cheeks where he's being pried open, he feels Buck’s tongue probing at his hole, he feels Buck’s curls between his fingers, he feels good. He lets the moans and groans fall freely from his lips, Buck’s responding noises turning into vibrations adding to the sensations he feels from under him. 

“Ride my fucking face, Eddie,” Buck pants, hands arms curling around his legs, hands gripping his thighs. 

And while usually Eddie is the one making demands, he doesn’t need to be told twice, immediately rolling his hips. “Fuck, Buck, you feel so good.” 

Buck pulls back and grins, looking up at Eddie through his lashes. “Look at that, you can be good, too,” he teases. Eddie’s hips jerks, eyes nearly rolling back in his head. His reaction kind of surprises Buck, seeing as how Eddie has always had a tight grip on control, especially during the times they’ve been together . Buck decides to see just how far Eddie will let him take this. 

Buck hums against him and his grip in Buck’s hair tightens, and he starts going for it, swiveling his hips, and working himself on Buck’s face. Buck is meeting him thrust for thrust, using his lips, tongue, and nose to push Eddie closer to the edge. His own cock is long forgotten, leaking between his thighs, achingly hard. 

Buck releases one of Eddie’s thighs, sliding his index finger into Eddie’s tight hole, both of them releasing a guttural moan at the sensation. Buck pumps his finger in time with Eddie’s movements above him, reveling in the way his hips grind down against his face, loving the way Eddie’s pleasure is loud and free. 

“Pull harder,” Buck grunts against Eddie’s skin, immediately getting back to work, swirling his tongue around Eddie’s rim while his finger pumps in and out of him. Eddie’s looking down at him, eyes tracing Buck’s eyes and forehead as he tugs on his hair hard, and Buck moans, sending vibrations through Eddie making heat pool in his gut. 

“Such a good listener for me, Eddie,” Buck says as he crooks his finger and Eddie gasps , body jolting against Buck’s face, making a grin spread across his face. Buck is relentless, hitting the spot with every thrust. Eddie is working himself down against Buck’s finger, his nose and tongue assisting in driving Eddie mad. 

“Another finger,” Eddie says, mouth dry from being open, panting as Buck works him over. 

Buck pulls back, face slick and shiny. His finger slows inside Eddie, and he smirks up at him. Eddie’s looking down at him flushed, sweaty, with the perfect strands of hair flopping over his forehead. “C’mon, Buck,” Eddie groans, impatient, head falling back between his shoulders. 

Buck tsks at him. “ Patience, baby, remember? Besides, you said one finger, so you’re just getting one finger,” Buck says, amusement coloring his husky voice. 

Eddie huffs. “Forget what I said, need more,” he groans. 

“Mm, I don’t think so. I think you can come for me just like this.”

Eddie grinds down on Buck, needing more friction than he is providing. 

“Can't. Need more,” Eddie says. The wet slide of his ass on Buck’s face is intoxicating, and he can't get enough. He needs more . 

Buck slips his finger out of Eddie’s hole and uses both hands to lift Eddie off of him. Eddie whines at the loss – a sound he didn't even know he was capable of making – and Buck just chuckles. 

“Eds,” Buck says, saliva dripping down his chin and off his cheeks toward his ears, but he doesn't care, all he can focus on is the man above him. 

Eddie's head is still tipped back, breathing heavily, and he makes no move to look down at Buck – which he just can't have. 

He leans in, licking over Eddie's hole gently, teasing at his rim, making Eddie gasp. 

“Eddie, look at me,” he says, leaning back as much as he can to look up at Eddie from between his thighs. Eddie's chin meets his chest as he looks down at Buck. “Good boy,” he whispers, and Eddie’s cock jumps, making Buck grin. 

“You're gonna ride my finger, and you're gonna fuck my face, and you're gonna come for me. Okay?” he says, index finger finding his hole again, teasing around it. 

“ Fuck, mmhm, yeah, okay, yes, sir, whatever you want,” Eddie pants, and Buck freezes, eyes darkening impossibly further, desire alight in his veins at Eddie’s words. 

“Say it again.” 

“Yes, sir,” Eddie whispers, digging his teeth into his bottom lip. It isn’t necessarily easy, giving up control to Buck. Buck is just such a brat that he needs Eddie to guide him, but Eddie wants to see how this goes, wants to unlock every version of Buck. So he swallows down the part of him that wants to taunt back and put Buck in his place – he can do that later. For now he wants to see this side of Buck, at least for a little bit. 

“Change of plans,” Buck says as he grips Eddie by the waist, rolling with him until they are sideways on the bed, air whooshing out of him as his back hits the mattress, Buck hovering over him, eyeing him like prey as he uses his inner elbow to wipe the saliva off his face. 

“Yeah, and what's that?” Eddie asks, eyes taunting as they connect with brilliant blue. 

Buck smirks, and his hand comes up to grip Eddie's chin, tilting his head to the side, exposing the column of his neck. Buck runs his nose up his neck and goosebumps break out along the path. Buck leans over, places a tender kiss on Eddie's shoulder, and then sinks his teeth into the skin there, making Eddie jerk under him. Buck moans into his shoulder, and the vibrations jolt through his arm. 

Buck bites his way across Eddie's chest as his hand blindly reaches for the lube. He's patting across the bed incessantly, waiting to feel the hard plastic of the bottle. Eddie eventually pushes up on his elbows and spots the bottle, stretching out to grab it and press it into Buck’s hand with a laugh. 

“You know you could, I don't know, look for it, right?” he teases, settling back down. 

Buck shakes his head, tongue reaching out and skating across Eddie's hardened nipple. “Can't. Don't ever wanna look away from you, not when I finally have you like this,” he murmurs. Before Eddie can process the word finally, Buck is scraping his teeth over his nipple and uncapping the bottle of lube, squeezing some onto his fingers. 

Buck is licking, sucking and biting his way across Eddie's body in a way that is tantalizing, almost hypnotizing. Eddie's breath hitches when he feels one of Buck’s fingers circle his rim. 

The way Buck is looking at him, like he is hungry , and wants to devour him whole, has his cock jerking, already hard and leaking where it is trapped between their bodies. 

Buck is biting down on his nipple when his finger pushes into Eddie slowly. He only pumps it a few times until a second finger starts to nudge at his entrance, joining the first – finally. His head tips back and his eyes slide shut, groaning at the feeling of Buck’s thick fingers inside him. Buck is thrusting into him so slowly he feels like he might lose his mind, but he's not going to beg. He won't. 

His hand slides up Buck’s free arm where it is holding all his weight, and threads his fingers through his curls, scratching lightly at his scalp. His hips start to meet Buck's thrusts, silently urging him to speed up. He can feel Buck’s smile against his skin, and he silently curses himself, using the last remaining drops of self-control he has to keep himself still. 

Buck’s laid out in between Eddie’s legs, hips humping into the mattress, hardness chasing the friction it provides, plug moving inside him deliciously. He can’t decide what feels better – the plug, the mattress, or Eddie around his fingers. Scratch that, he definitely can decide, and it’s Eddie, no contest. 

Buck's fingers start to scissor inside him, slowly stretching him out. “Think you can take 3?” he asks softly, no judgement or teasing in his face or tone. He looks up at Eddie through his lashes, eyes searching his face for any discomfort or hesitation. If Eddie isn't loving every single second of this, his plans are changing immediately. Eddie deserves to feel good and Buck thinks, no he knows, that he can make him feel good. Knowing he is the first person to ever have two fingers inside of Eddie Diaz has his cock twitching, and he has to take a deep breath to keep himself from the ledge – which he probably should be embarrassed about, but looking at Eddie spread out in front of him, he considers himself lucky that he hasn’t come already. 

Eddie nods immediately. “Yeah, yes, I can,” he says, voice a little rough. 

Buck leans down, pressing a kiss to his stomach. “So good for me,” he whispers against his skin, Eddie's abs contracting beneath his lips.

He slowly works in a third finger, and Eddie feels incredible. When Buck crooks his fingers at the perfect angle, Eddie's grip on his hair tightens, pulling a hiss out of him, riding the pain pleasure line perfectly. He knows he needs to go slow, make sure Eddie is actually ready – even if he already says he is – because Buck will be damned if he rushes Eddie's first time bottoming. He needs to savor every second , needs to make Eddie feel as much pleasure from this as he can. 

Buck’s pace is still nearly painfully slow, driving Eddie completely insane, hitting that spot with each deep thrust. His hips are rocking down against Buck without his permission, but he is slowly losing control of himself, which is something he doesn’t feel very often – something he doesn’t let himself feel very often. But he feels so safe , so comfortable, so whole with Buck that letting Buck have him completely just feels natural. He knows without asking that Buck feels the same way he does – wanting to unlock every facet of him like he wants from Buck. Wanting to know each other in ways no other person on the planet gets to. 

He promised himself he wouldn’t beg, and he’s going to keep that promise if it kills him – and with the pace Buck is moving, it just might. Eddie can tell by the slightest lightening of the room that they are approaching sunrise, and if they have any hope of snagging a few hours of sleep before their big day with Jee, they need to get a move on, now.  

“Buck,” he rasps. “‘M ready, c’mon,” he says, tugging at Buck’s hair where his hand is still clutching his curls.

“I don’t think you are, yet, Eddie. Not quite,” Buck says, sliding further down Eddie’s body, tongue leaving a wet streak down his stomach. 

“Did you know that for a while I thought you liked to be called eight-pack?” Buck chuckles, leaving kisses across Eddie’s inner thighs. 

Eddie lifts his head up, looking down where Buck is settling between his legs, fingers still working inside him. “Huh?” he asks. If he is a little dazed and lost in the feeling of Buck’s fingers and lips, or if Buck is just making zero sense, he doesn’t know. 

Buck looks up at him with a cheeky grin on his face. “Bobby knew I was a little jealous about our new recruit, wanted to mess with me a little bit. Didn’t realize it was a joke until later when you said you only ever go by Eddie. Nearly embarrassed the fuck out of myself, but luckily I was too busy being cocky in the gym to talk to you all that much,” he says, shaking his head as he thinks back to that first day with Eddie. 

He didn’t realize it at the time, but that jealousy had actually been attraction – and that’s something he still won’t admit, not even to himself. Being attracted to your straight best friend isn’t a good look, even if you have long since moved on from it. 

“Jealous? Of me? Why?” 

Buck pulls back, and his fingers still, buried deep inside Eddie. “Eddie, come on.” 

Eddie’s hips are still rolling slightly, trying to get some movement back from Buck. “Come on what?” 

“You’re hot, man. You came in and were the hot new guy, of course I was going to be jealous. Don’t be ridiculous,” Buck huffs, smile tugging at his lips at the look of disbelief that crosses Eddie’s face as the words leave his mouth. 

“Ridiculous? What’s ridiculous is that you were jealous. You’ve always been the hottest one at the station, still are. What’s ridiculous is that you never told me you were jealous,” Eddie says, hips working harder against Buck’s fingers where they are still immobile inside him. 

An unreadable expression crosses Buck’s face briefly, and Eddie’s stomach flips, body clenching down around Buck instinctively. Buck just stares at him, pupils blown, breathing heavy, Eddie starting to squirm under his gaze. 

“Buck, please,” Eddie says, breathless. He’s fully fucking himself on Buck’s fingers, trying to bring himself some relief, but it’s not quite the same. His skin is hot and sweaty, flushed from his head to his toes, and he feels desire pumping like fire through his veins. His cock is heavy and leaking where it is resting against his stomach, precome making the head shiny and sticky. He needs more . He thinks about reaching a hand down and wrapping it around himself, stroking himself to help get him closer to the edge, but he knows that he doesn’t just need more – he needs more from Buck. His hand isn’t enough – might not ever be enough after feeling Buck’s hands on him, but that’s a problem for future Eddie. Present Eddie just wants, no needs, to come. So, he breaks his promise, cheeks flushing bright red. 

“Buck, come on, I can’t, I need – please , I’m ready, I-I need you , like right now, please,” he babbles, eyes glossing over as he stares down at Buck, pleading look on his face. Buck takes pity on him, and starts to meet the thrusts of his hips, fingers working inside him, crooking anad hitting the most delicious places when he bottoms out inside of Eddie. 

Buck’s grin sends sparks down Eddie’s spine, lighting his soul on fire. “Just a little bit more for me. So pretty when you beg, baby,” Buck says. He leans down to lap at the pool of precome on Eddie’s stomach, tongue sliding through Eddie’s slit making his hips jerk, guttural noise punched out of his chest. 

“ Jesus, Buck, no more teasing, I need it, please.” 

“Need what, honey?” 

Eddie can’t help it – he rolls his eyes, smile tugging at his lips, quiet chuckle escaping him. “You know what.” 

“Mmm, I’m gonna have to hear you say it,” he says, using his free hand to cup a finger around his ear, tilting his head as if in order to hear Eddie better. 

“You are such a dork,” Eddie says, laughing. 

Buck’s head rears back and a playfully offended look slides into place on his face. Eddie’s features soften, words warm and sweet when he says, “but you’re my dork.” Buck smiles back, another flicker of emotion crossing his face that Eddie can’t quite place – which is weird that it happened twice, but he doesn’t give himself time to dwell on it. 

Buck is so busy looking up at Eddie that he doesn’t even see it coming – Eddie’s legs tighten around him, hand gripping in his hair, and literally in the blink of an eye, Eddie has them flipped, Buck’s back hitting the mattress, Eddie landing straddling him. Buck blinks up at him, surprised, wide smile stretching across his handsome face. 

“Hey! What the hell?” he asks, laughter breaking up his words. 

“Taking too long,” Eddie says, maneuvers down his body until he feels Buck’s cock slide against his, both of them groaning at the slick sensation. “Need you to fuck me, feel like ‘m gonna explode,” he says, latching on to his favorite place to leave a mark – Buck’s pulse point. He grinds their cocks together, both of their chests heaving, soft moans leaving Buck’s mouth as Eddie works another red spot onto his skin. 

“C’mon, Eds. Getting worked up is half the fun,” Buck says with a wink. 

“Remember that when you’re the one begging to come and I won’t let you,” Eddie says, licking up Buck’s neck and biting on his earlobe, Buck’s back arching into Eddie, moan sounding in his ear. 

Eddie reaches a hand back, wrapping firmly around Buck, lining himself up, head of Buck’s cock nudging at his entrance. 

“Ed–um, lube,” Buck says, throat dry, words coming out scratchy. 

Eddie shakes his head. “Don’t need it. Can feel you better this way,” he huffs. Buck opens his mouth to argue, words about making it comfortable and good for Eddie on this tip of his tongue, when Eddie slowly lowers himself onto Buck, head pushing through the muscle, pulling a groan out of Buck and sigh of relief from Eddie. Eddie is gazing down at him as he lowers himself onto his cock, and fuck, he’s beautiful. 

Eddie’s face is flushed, bright pink color spreading across his face, down his chest. He has a sheen of sweat across his forehead, hair sticking up in all directions from how many times Buck’s fingers have pushed through it. His pupils are blown, brown eyes wide and sparkling in the low light of the hotel room. 

Buck feels his face soften, eyes tracing over Eddie’s face, memorizing the way he looks with his eyes closed, lips parted as he exhales softly once Buck has bottomed out inside him. 

“You…” Buck starts, throat dry and raspy. He swallows thickly, trying again. “Eddie, you are so fucking pretty ,” he says, voice reverent, as if he is looking at something so precious that the volume of his voice could shatter the moment. Eddie’s head straightens, eyes finding Buck’s half-lidded and hungry. 

“Say it again.” 

“So pretty for me, Eds, so perfect. All hot and bothered, and needy for me, huh? Want you like this all the time,” he says, reaching one hand down and wrapping thick fingers around Eddie, stroking him firmly as Eddie begins to grind himself on Buck, moving his hips in slow, dirty circles. The moan that is pulled out of Eddie at the sensation is hands down the hottest thing Buck has ever heard – he is briefly remorseful of the fact that he wasn’t able to record the sound, slightly devastated that he will only ever get to hear it once in his life. 

All coherent thoughts are wiped from his brain when Eddie raises himself up, and spears himself again on his cock. The only thing on his mind is Eddie, and the feeling of the most attractive person he’s ever seen beginning to bounce on him. Buck fights to keep his eyes open, the desire to watch Eddie overpowering every instinct he has. 

Eddie instantly becomes obsessed with the way he feels when he's being stretched open by Buck – long, thick cock gliding in with a slight, delicious burn. He loves the way Buck looks beneath him, eyes bright, face pink, shiny with sweat, and that gorgeous birthmark flushed deeper than he had ever seen it. But more than anything, he loves the way Buck feels beneath him, strong muscles trembling with pleasure and exertion because of him – he's the one doing this to Buck, and that sends a rush of power flickering down his spine. 

“Again,” Eddie says, or rather whimpers, and Buck’s hips jerk up, starting to meet Eddie on each thrust. 

“My pretty baby,” Buck whispers back, reaching a hand up to thread through Eddie’s hair, bringing his head down until their foreheads are pressed together, the only sounds in the room being their breaths mingling together,  the soft slapping of skin, and quiet noises of pleasure falling from their lips. 

Buck’s hands slide down Eddie’s back, landing on his ass, fingers digging into his cheeks as he helps physically lift and lower him onto his cock. He plants his feet on the mattress, thick thighs working to thrust him up into Eddie. 

“ Fuck , feel so good. Harder, please,” Eddie groans, thrusting down against Buck fervently, hips rolling. Buck snaps his hips up, fucking into Eddie harder, just like he asked, foreheads bumping together with the motion. Buck's eyes nearly roll back in his head at how good Eddie feels. 

“So tight, Eddie, god you feel good, like you were made for me,” Buck says, breathless. 

Eddie reaches back with both hands, pulling Buck’s hands off his ass, transferring them to one hand and pinning his arms above his head by the wrists. Buck’s hips never stop – in fact, he seems to thrust harder, deeper, once his movement is restricted and Eddie pulls back, grinning down at him. 

“Fuck me like you mean it, Buckley,” he teases, trying to get a rise out of the man below him. 

Buck’s eyes darken, taking in all of Eddie's features with that now familiar unreadable expression. Buck tests the hold Eddie has on his hands, and finds that, like usual, he is unable to break free. That knowledge has him lifting himself, and, subsequently, Eddie, off the bed, hips meeting his ass in desperate thrusts. 

Eddie’s mouth drops open, perfect uh, uh, uh ’s falling from his lips every time Buck hits that spot deep inside him. Buck is pushing him closer and closer to the edge every time he bottoms out, and fuck it feels good. He takes his free hand and wraps it around Buck’s neck, squeezing the sides gently. Buck’s eyes roll back in his head, and when they finally snap back to Eddie’s they are nearly completely black, overtaken by blown pupils, hunger, desire, and pathetic desperation swirling in their depths. 

“Tell me who you belong to,” Eddie says, squeezing Buck’s neck again. 

“Mm, fuck, Eddie, you, ‘m yours, only yours,” Buck says, swallowing roughly against Eddie’s palm. 

“Just mine. So good for me. You fuck me so good, baby, all this just for me. Strong muscles, thick thighs, big cock, just made for me, huh?” he says, leaning down and pressing kisses against Buck’s neck, lips brushing over his own fingers where he is still holding him. “You gonna come for me?” 

“‘M so close, Eds, squeeze again, please , just a little more, I-I’m so close, you feel so fucking good bouncing on my cock like a pro ,” he rasps, and Eddie obliges, squeezing the hand around his neck, whine falling from Buck’s lips as he does. 

“C’mon, Buck, come for me. Feel so good, come in me, please,” Eddie whispers in his ear, leaning down to bite into his shoulder. 

That does it for Buck, and he’s arching off the bed, lifting Eddie with his hips as he comes with a shout, Eddie’s name on his lips, and Eddie grinds down against him, working him through it. Eddie follows him off the ledge shortly after, releasing his hold on Buck’s wrists to reach down and cup his head, coming into his palm as he moans Buck’s name into his skin. 

Eddie moves and presses their foreheads together again, sweat mixing, practically panting into each other’s open mouths, lazy, satisfied smiles spreading across their lips. 

“ Fuck , that was good,” Eddie whispers, hot breath fanning across Buck’s lips. His tongue darts out, as if to try to taste it from the air. Buck stretches his legs out, flexing his bad leg a little extra. His hands come down from above his head and stroke gentle paths down Eddie’s back, making him shiver where he has pretty much collapsed on Buck’s chest. 

Buck pats the outside of Eddie’s thigh twice. “Roll over, I’ll get stuff to clean up.” 

Eddie shakes his head. 

“No, Eddie, I’m cleaning up this time, man, c’mon, don’t fight me on this,” he says, amusement lacing through his words. Classic Eddie, always trying to be the one to handle everything, even thought he was the one who just got fucked for the first time. 

“No, ‘m not fighting it, just…had a different solution,” he says, lifting his head so his chin is resting on Buck’s chest, looking up at him through his lashes. 

Buck’s head cocks to the side, confused. “What do you mean?” 

Instead of answering, he brings his palm up to Buck’s mouth, thumb finger brushing his lips. Buck doesn’t need to look down to know that the hand in front of him is holding a pool of Eddie’s come. Without breaking eye contact, his tongue dips out and begins to lap it up, tongue flattening over Eddie’s palm and scooping it into his mouth, groaning every time he swallows. He cleans off Eddie’s hand, sucking each finger into his mouth, tongue swirling around each digit, until Eddie pulls his hand back with a soft chuckle. 

“Told you I’d put that tongue to use and I meant it.” 

Buck’s eyebrows scrunched, once again confused, until Eddie slowly pulls himself off of Buck’s now softened cock, both of them letting out a small whimper at the loss. Buck is about to open his mouth to complain – either about the lack of Eddie he is about to experience or the sheets getting ruined again, he’s not sure – until he realizes that Eddie isn’t rolling over like he thought he was, but instead crawling up his body. 

Buck’s eyes light up as he realizes what Eddie is doing, and he scoots himself down the mattress a little to meet him in the middle. Eddie’s knees plant, once again, on either side of his head, and he slowly lowers himself to Buck’s mouth. Buck’s hands come up, spreading him apart again, watching with eager eyes as his spend slowly begins to leak out of Eddie’s hole. His mouth waters , and he suctions his lips around Eddie, sucking like it’s a straw, groaning against the sensitive rim as his own come hits his tongue. Tasting himself out of Eddie is not something that he thought would turn him on, but fuck – anything with Eddie is enough to get him going. 

His tongue works its way inside Eddie, soft moans sounding above him as he swirls around, collecting every last drop of himself out of Eddie, swallowing it down greedily. Once he no longer gathers any of the sticky substance on his tongue, he pulls back, placing kisses on Eddie’s inner thighs. Eddie sighs above him, fingers gently running through his curls. Eddie lets him stay there for a moment, lets him press kisses and suck marks into the inner sensitive areas on his legs. Eventually, though, Eddie tugs gently at his hair. 

“Alright. Sleep?” he asks, voice showing his tiredness, orgasm having wrung out the last of his energy. Buck nods, and Eddie slides down his body, settling on his side with his leg thrown over Buck’s, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, fingers tracing patterns against his pecs. Buck hums contentedly, hand trailing lightly down Eddie’s back. 

“Long day tomorrow,” Buck says. Eddie groans softly. 

“Fuck, we never figured out what we’re going to do with Jee.” 

“Yes, we did. I planned it,” Buck replies, and Eddie can hear the smile in his voice, can feel it in the way his cheek is pressing against the top of his head, and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his own lips. 

“You planned it? When ?” 

“I lived here for 18 years. Any chance I had to get out of the house, I took. Trust me, I know all the best places. I’ll make it perfect for her.” 

“I know you will. You always do.” 

“I’ll make it perfect for you, too,” Buck whispers, placing a quick kiss to the crown of Eddie’s head. 

“I know that, too. It’s a date,” Eddie says, yawning. 

“Sorry. About earlier,” Buck says sheepishly. 

Eddie chuckles. “What, that you were about to sneak off to the bathroom to come again , even though you knew you shouldn’t have?” he asks, poking a finger into Buck’s side, making him squirm, his own light chuckle leaving his chest. 

“No, uh, about making you think you weren’t my…you know, like, best friend?” The words taste bitter on his tongue, but he didn’t think he could get away without saying them for much longer, especially if Eddie was noticing and was hurt by it. He would do anything for Eddie, even if hearing the words out loud, hearing them in the comfortable space they’ve created in the center of the bed, limbs intertwined, is jarring and out of place for him. 

Eddie lifts himself up onto his elbow to look at Buck’s brilliant blue eyes, which are somehow still able to take the breath right out of his lungs, even in the low light of the room. “Wasn’t anything you did, B. You don’t have to apologize.”

Buck’s hand slides up Eddie’s arm where it’s resting on his chest, reaching up and cupping his cheek, thumb rubbing gently against the spot under his eye. “I know. But still. I’m sorry you were questioning how much I care about you. You’re my second favorite person in the whole world.”

Eddie brings his chin back down to Buck’s chest, resting it there, staring up at him with perfect brown eyes. 

“Second?” Eddie asks, and he feels a brief, yet strong , flash of unreasonable jealousy – he tries to keep it off his face, knowing that it is ridiculous, but he can’t help it. 

Buck smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners, and the jealousy is quickly replaced with something , something else. Where the hell is Frank and his ‘ feelings wheel’ when you need him? “Well, yeah. Obviously , Chris is first. You have to be second. Don’t tell Jee,” he says, laughing. 

The locked box in the back of his mind rattles, desperate to break free, but he refuses. Of course his best friend’s favorite person is his son. “He’s mine, too. Unfortunately for you, Jee actually is my second. So…third would be you, I guess,” Eddie replies, smile breaking free as he sees the offended look on Buck’s face. Buck’s hand not on his face reaches down and tickles at his side, making him wiggle and laugh harder. “Okay, okay , I’m sorry, you’re second, you’re second !” he wheezes, as Buck finally lets up, both of them smiling like fools, breathless laughter trailing off as they lock eyes again. The space between them is charged, a new kind of tension existing between them that is addicting . 

“Night, Eds.” Buck says, voice thick. 

“G’night, Buck.” 

Eddie leans up, placing a light kiss to Buck’s birthmark with a quiet mwah . That has very quickly become one of his very favorite things to do, and he places a second kiss there simply because he is already mourning the loss of the freedom to press his lips to his favorite spot. 

Buck falls asleep nearly instantly – he has a knack of doing that, although his ability to fall asleep anywhere anytime is actually a trait most of the team wishes they had sometimes. Eddie listens to the slow thud, thud, thud of his heart, counting the heartbeats. Around 317, he loses focus, lulled into a sense of comfort and safety he’s never experienced before. He’s warm here, wrapped up in Buck’s arms, thoroughly satisfied in every sense of the word. 

He feels seen, accepted – two things that he has never really felt before. Buck knows him and really sees him – sees through the facade he puts up for everyone else, sees every deep, dark corner of his soul, even the ones he tries the hardest to hide – or, at least, most of them. Buck sees him, and wants to take care of him anyways. Nobody has ever said that to Eddie, and nobody has ever shown that as deeply and truly as Buck has. The idea that someone wants him – in any capacity – is baffling to him. The knowledge that he has a partner in this, someone to help him, support him, to carry the burden with him, to laugh with him – to just be with him – it’s everything . Everything he could have hoped for and more. Buck is everything. Eddie feels gratitude and just golden warmth spread across his chest and through his body at the thought of Buck. His Buck. His best friend. 

Love you, too is the last thought in his mind as he, too, drifts off to a blissful and deep sleep. 

Chapter Text

Buck wakes up slowly, which he rarely does, even when he’s not on shift. When his eyes blink open, he realizes he is on his stomach, half of his body laying on top of Eddie like a human weighted blanket, chest to chest. One of his hands is intertwined with Eddie’s, resting on Eddie’s bare chest. The other is tangled into Eddie’s hair, and he starts scratching there on instinct. 

He is plastered practically on top of Eddie, and he realizes quite quickly that they never did get around to putting their clothes back on last night, and his hard cock is nestled against Eddie’s warm, solid thigh. He – barely – resists rolling his hips against Eddie to get more friction, choosing instead to look at where their hands are interlocked. 

He looks at their hands with a small smile on his lips, thumb stroking Eddie’s softly, lost in the moment of early morning, sun streaming in through the curtains. The light from the window covering the room makes him think about Eddie, about how warm, and soft, and golden he is, and his chest tightens briefly. Eddie always has this internal glow about him, bringing this radiance everywhere he goes, bathing those around him in a cozy brilliance. Buck loves that feeling, loves being caught in his halo and basking in the effects of pure Eddie. His gaze pulls from where their fingers are tangled together and drags up to Eddie’s face where he is surprised to find sleepy brown eyes looking back at him. 

He blinks in surprise a few times, slow smile spreading across his lips as he looks up at Eddie. “Morning,” he whispers. 

Eddie smiles back at him, crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes, looking soft and rumbled with sleep lines on his cheek, hair tousled from Buck’s fingers, sticking up in every direction. “G’ morning. How’d you sleep? How’s your leg?” he asks. 

“Good to both. I –” he cuts off on a whine as he goes to sit up on his elbow, jostling the plug that is still lodged inside him that he forgot about. Heat licks up his spine as the sensation of the plug hits him like a train, heat pooling in his gut. Concern flashes across Eddie's face as Buck blushes furiously. 

“What's the matter? Is it your leg?” he asks, running a soothing hand down Buck’s back. 

Buck clears his throat. “Um, no, not my leg. ‘m fine, just forgot,” he mumbles, lowering his eyes to Eddie's chest. 

“Forgot what?” 

“Do you trust me?” he asks, breath hitching. 

“The fact that you even have to ask at this point is kind of ridiculous. ‘Course I do.” 

Buck brings his eyes back up to Eddie's, searching his face quickly. Finding nothing but softness and sureness – no hesitation or worry – he nods his head once. Eddie opens his mouth again to say something, probably to ask what the hell he's doing, but Buck moves first. 

He swings his leg over Eddie's, straddling his lap, knees planted next to Eddie’s hips, palms pressing into the mattress, boxing in his head. Eddie’s body is rigid and stiff under him, but his hands land on Buck’s thighs, giving them a squeeze. 

“Just relax,” Buck whispers into his ear, licking gently around the outer shell, making Eddie shiver. Buck presses wet, open-mouthed kisses down the side of Eddie’s face and neck, swirling his tongue around and sucking a mark onto his pulse point. With each press of his lips, he feels Eddie’s muscles relax more and more under him, until he has all but melted into the bed, limbs pliant. 

Buck can’t help himself, and sinks his teeth into Eddie a few times. When Eddie’s big hand comes up to cradle the back of his head, he’s afraid he’s going to thread fingers through his hair and pull him back, tell him to get off and start getting ready for the day. But Eddie just digs fingers into his curls, grounding himself and holding Buck to him. Buck smiles against his skin, and keeps pressing slow kisses across his chest as he lowers himself until his cock is grinding against Eddie’s, the two of them letting out matching groans at the contact. 

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Buck breathes, nipping at Eddie’s shoulders and pecs. 

“Don’t need it,” Eddie replies, rolling his hips up into Buck, nudging at the plug, making Buck moan. 

“Wh-where do you want me?” 

“Where you are is perfect,” he says, and the words wash over Buck warmly, basking in the subtle praise. Eddie reaches a hand around Buck’s hips, pressing into the plug slowly. Buck groans, pushing back against him, hips rocking, cocks bumping together. It is nearly on the line of sensory overload, and Buck shuts his eyes, forehead pressing into the middle of Eddie’s chest, hot breath falling against his stomach making his abs contract underneath him. Buck feels a soft kiss press against the top of his head, and he gives one to Eddie’s belly as well, making him chuckle. 

In one swift, yet gentle, move, Eddie removes the plug, Buck whimpering with the loss. He doesn’t have to feel empty for long because he lines himself up with Eddie, slowly sinking down, inch by inch, using Eddie’s own come that has been sitting in his ass all night as lube. He and Eddie both groan when he bottoms out, Buck clenching around him. 

Eddie brings the plug up to Buck’s lips, opening his mouth to tell Buck to lick it clean, but he doesn’t even have a chance to utter the words – doesn’t have to, Buck already knows what he wants, he always does – before Buck’s tongue is darting out, licking up the plug. Eddie holds it steady while Buck swipes across the plug, sucking it into his mouth and bobbing his head around it, mixture of himself and Eddie hitting his tongue, pulling a groan from his chest. 

“Such a good boy for me, Buck. We taste good, don’t we?” Eddie says, rubbing his thumb across Buck’s hollowed out cheeks. Buck hums his agreement and nods, and Eddie huffs out a laugh. 

“Don’t be greedy, baby, you gotta share,” he says, opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue, just like Buck has done for him so often the past few days. Buck’s eyes widen in surprise, but he schools his features quickly, heat overtaking his eyes, and he pops off the plug, tossing it to the side, and positioning himself above Eddie. He uses one hand to hold his weight above Eddie, and uses the other to grip Eddie’s chin as he lowers his face until he can feel Eddie’s breath fanning across his lips. Buck drops the mixture of spit and come onto Eddie’s tongue, his eyes slide shut at the flavor, at the knowledge that he and Buck are mixed together, impossible to separate. 

Buck pulls back and watches as Eddie lets the combination sit on his tongue, almost like he was savoring it , before swallowing it down. He sticks his tongue back out to show that it was gone, and Buck feels like his brain glitches. His eyes trail down Eddie’s neck and chest, settling on his stomach, knowing that the mixture of them was making its way through Eddie, fueling the heat he feels coursing through his veins. 

“Take me,” Eddie says, squeezing Buck’s thighs, encouraging Buck to start moving, relinquishing the control, the power, letting Buck know that he is to take charge now, that he is going to set the pace this time. 

He starts to ride Eddie like his life depends on it, thighs powering his body to raise and lower itself on Eddie’s cock, hips rolling on every downstroke. Eddie thrusts up into him, matching his rhythm perfectly. He moves to one side, sucking Eddie’s nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the stiffened bud. His moans send vibrations through Eddie’s chest, pulling responding groans out of him, hand running gently through Buck’s curls. 

Eddie bends his knees, planting his feet onto the mattress to give him better leverage to fuck up into Buck, changing the angle just enough to hit that spot that makes Buck’s thighs shake. Eddie releases his hold in Buck’s hair, gripping onto his chin to lift his head instead. When their eyes connect, his breath hitches and his mind goes blank for a second, forgetting entirely what he was planning on doing – maybe he was never planning on doing anything, maybe he just feels more alive when those bright blue eyes are on him. Buck smiles at him, breathless, sheen of sweat forming across his forehead, and Eddie can practically feel his brain break. His heart is hammering against his chest, desperately trying to break free, feeling out of place and frantic. 

Eddie stares at him, awe and that unnamed expression that has been making an appearance this week lining his face. When he starts to smile back at him, Buck’s motions falter for a second, completely entranced in the way Eddie’s eyes crinkle, the open warmth on his face. He gets lost in the way Eddie’s smile lights up the room in a way he has never experienced from anyone else before, His eyes snag on Eddie’s perfect, pointed canines, and remembers the way they feel biting into his skin, causing a shiver to run down his spine. 

Buck doubles down on his efforts, and Eddie’s hips snap up to meet his in a slow, sensual roll. Buck’s forehead meets Eddie’s, and both of their eyes fall closed. Buck lowers onto his forearms, completely crowding Eddie’s space, one hand cradling his head. One of Eddie’s hands is on Buck’s waist, nails leaving half-moon shapes in the skin there, and the other hand is tangled and tugging in Buck’s curls, pressing their heads together. Their noses are bumping together, open mouths breathing heavily into the space between them, the millimeters between their lips nearly crackling with electricity. 

Eddie’s pumping into Buck slowly and steadily, hitting just right and deep, each thrust pushing him closer and closer to the edge. His breath starts to hitch, getting stuck in his throat, heat pooling in his gut. 

“You close for me, baby?” Eddie asks, voice rough and dry. A high-pitched whine slips out of Buck’s throat, and he nods where he’s resting against Eddie, words failing him at the moment. 

“Me too. C’mon, mi sol, you can do it,” he rasps, moving his hand from Buck’s hair to cup his cheek, pulling his head back, tilting it up a little bit, eyes opening and looking over his face, snagging on his dark pink birthmark, flushed cheeks and bright eyes. 

Buck’s eyebrows raise, mouth dropping open further, whimpers leaving him on every exhale. Eddie starts nodding, keeping eye contact as a smirk tugs at his lips. “Such a good boy for me, B, come on my cock. That’s it, baby, taking me so good, feel so good, fuck, ungh, Buck.” 

His name leaves Eddie’s lips like a whispered prayer and that tips him over the edge, hot ropes shooting in between their chests, Eddie’s name filling the space between them in response. He clenches around Eddie as he spills inside his entrance once again, filling him up so much that some starts to leak out around Eddie’s cock where he’s still buried deep. 

They’re both still breathing heavily when Buck practically collapses on top of Eddie, licking a bead of sweat that was dripping down his neck and kissing the salty skin there. Eddie shivers under him, hand running through his hair and rubbing soothing circles into his back. Buck lays there for a minute, and then realizes that he's crushing Eddie under his weight. 

He pushes himself up onto his hands, creating some space between their sticky chests. “Sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says. He’s about to pull off of Eddie and roll over, but before he can do that, big hands tug on his back, pulling him back down onto Eddie. He resists briefly, but Eddie is persistent, tugging him down until Buck is sprawled on top of him again. Eddie nuzzles his face into the crook of Buck’s neck, pressing gentle kisses to the damp skin. 

“You’re like a human weighted blanket. Feels nice. You’re a big boy, Buck, but you’re not that big. I can take you,” he says laughing. 

Buck pulls back a little again to look down at him, features soft and relaxed. He quirks his eyebrow, smirking. “Oh yeah? Wanna go for the title?” 

Heat flashes in Eddie’s eyes. “You’re lucky we have to get ready,” he says, leaning up and nipping at Buck’s jaw. 

Buck grins down at him. “Come on, we gotta shower,” he says, lifting up, Eddie sliding out of him with a soft pop, quiet whimper sounding from Buck despite his best efforts to choke it back. 

Eddie leans up again, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Buck takes a deep breath, and pushes himself off of Eddie, their skin slightly sticking together because of the now tacky and drying come spread between them. 

Buck stands next to the bed, and waits for Eddie to get up with him, but he doesn’t move. Buck can feel Eddie’s spend starting to leak out of him, but he’s rooted to his spot, looking at Eddie where he’s sprawled out on the bed. 

“What are you doing?” Buck asks. 

Eddie looks up at him, eyebrows creasing in confusion. “You were going to go shower?”

Buck sighs, shifting his weight. “Y-You’re not going to come with me?” 

“I just did,” Eddie deadpans. Buck sucks in a surprised breath of air at that, and reaches down to swat at Eddie’s shoulder, the two of them bursting into laughter together. 

“You know what I mean, freak ” Buck says, chuckling. 

Eddie shrugs, resting with one hand behind his head, arm flexing slightly, drawing Buck’s eyes to it like a magnet. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and Eddie smiles. “I think you match my freak pretty well, don’t you?” 

Buck rolls his eyes. “We need to start getting ready, c’mon, let’s go,” he says, nodding his head toward the hotel bathroom. 

Again, Eddie doesn’t move, just lies on the bed, looking up at Buck with a soft smile on his lips. Buck looks back at him and huffs a little out of frustration. “Eddie,” he whines. 

“I think you’re forgetting something,” he says, looking pointedly down at his chest where Buck’s come is smeared across his stomach and pecs. Buck scrambles, nearly tripping over himself in a desperate race to get back to the bed. He flings himself up on the mattress, landing on his knees next to Eddie, who is now belly laughing at him. Buck pouts a little bit. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Little eager there, aren’t you?” 

“We’re in a rush!”

“You’re in a rush. I don’t have to be ready until after your breakfast with Maddie, remember?”

Realization crashes into Buck. “Oh. Right. That’s why you didn’t want to shower with me,” he says, voice nearly a whisper. 

“Oh, I’m gonna shower with you. Just needed you to know that I’m gonna be taking my time. Now clean me up,” he says, shifting his attention back to his stomach without another glance at Buck, like he doesn’t even need to question that Buck will do what he’s saying. 

And, well, he’s right. A slight flash of annoyance flares in Buck, and some small part of him wants to keep sitting there, looking at Eddie and ignoring what he just said, but overwhelmingly, he wants – no, needs – to listen to Eddie, wants to do everything he says down to the letter. So, he does. 

He leans in, tongue running flat up Eddie’s abs, muscles contracting under the wet glide. Buck moans against his skin, tasting himself mixing with Eddie’s sweat, and starts licking frantically at the substance, doing exactly what Eddie asked of him – cleaning him up. He can’t quite help but swirl his tongue around both of Eddie’s nipples in the process, but by the grunt he gets as a response, he feels sure Eddie doesn’t mind. 

Once there is nothing left on Eddie’s stomach but traces of his own saliva, he pulls back, looking up at Eddie through his lashes. Eddie’s mouth is dropped open, breaths coming in fast. Buck glances down to see Eddie is already half-hard again, and he feels a sense of pride and awe that he is the one who made Eddie feel this way, that he is the one getting Eddie all worked up again. He watches for a moment as Eddie continues to stiffen under his attention. 

When his eyes work their way back up to Eddie’s, they are both nearly fully hard, heat blazing in Eddie’s big, brown eyes. 

“Shower. Now.” 

Buck does not need to be told twice, and nearly bolts for the bathroom, feet snagging on random items of clothes that were tossed to the floor. He stumbles into the bathroom, fumbling for the water handle, turning the shower on, and immediately stepping under. Eddie said now, so he’s going now. 

As soon as the cold water cascades down his skin, he regrets all of his choices. It’s too late now, he’s already here, so he steps out of the spray as much as possible to avoid the chilly water, large body twisted and contorted into the corner of the shower, waiting for the water to warm. Eddie turns the corner into the bathroom, sees Buck, and bursts out laughing. Buck automatically relaxes a bit at the sound, body finding comfort in the tones of Eddie’s laugh, deep and beautiful and warm. 

“What, it’s cold!” Buck says indignantly. 

Eddie chuckles again and shakes his head, stepping into the stream, blocking the – now warm – water from reaching Buck. 

“I’ll keep you warm. Come here,” he says, tugging Buck upright and under the hot water, chests brushing together, Eddie’s hands landing on Buck’s waist and the back of his neck. He inches closer, looking at Buck with that one expression Buck still can’t name. 

“Eddie,” Buck breathes. He has the sudden, insane, urge to kiss Eddie – his straight best friend. He tries to blink that thought out of his mind, but it is plaguing him, making his lips tingle, needing contact. Instead of ruining the best thing in his life – his friendship with Eddie, especially not right after Eddie was expressing concern about their best friendness – by kissing him, he digs his teeth into his lip, Eddie’s eyes following the movement. Eddie’s grip tightens on his waist, squeezing the skin there, tugging him a little closer, cocks rubbing together. Eddie’s head falls forward, landing on Buck’s shoulder, and he squeezes where his hand is resting on the back of Buck’s neck. 

“Shampoo,” Buck says, voice hoarse. He needs to get out of this shower as fast as possible for two reasons – he’s going to be running late to pick up Maddie for breakfast, and he still hasn’t been able to breathe through his desire to plant one square on Eddie’s lips. 

Eddie hums his agreement, planting a kiss on Buck’s shoulder, giving his neck one last squeeze before he reaches out blindly to feel for the shampoo on the shelf. His fingers close around the bottle and he pops the cap, pouring the liquid in the hand he begrudgingly removed from Buck’s waist.

“What are you–” Buck starts, but cuts himself off as Eddie rubs his hands together to emulsify the soap before stepping carefully around Buck to switch spots with him, letting Buck in contact with the water again. 

Eddie’s facing him once again, erection resting warm, thick, and rigid, against Buck’s hip, but is entirely forgotten as he raises his hands and starts to gently work the suds through Buck’s curls, taking care to slowly massage his scalp, making sure every stand gets the attention it deserves. Buck’s eyes fall close, and a sigh of contentment slips from his lips. Eddie smiles softly, working the suds through his second favorite head of curls. He shampoos Buck probably longer than necessary, but hey, hygiene is important! 

He returns one soapy hand to Buck’s waist, stepping even closer into his space again, and the other grips Buck’s chin between his thumb and forefinger gently, tipping his head back into the flow of water, and then reaching up to run fingers through his hair, helping to wash out all the shampoo. Buck’s eyes are still closed, a look of pure relaxation on his face that tugs oddly at Eddie’s chest. He ignores the sensation, reaching for the bottle to repeat the process with the conditioner. Buck’s eyes haven’t opened once since he started, soft sighs leaving his lips at the feel of Eddie’s nails scratching softly at his scalp. 

He’s actually glad he was already hard when he got into the shower, because he would be extremely embarrassed about getting a raging boner at the feeling of Eddie’s hands in his hair. 

Eddie watches his face carefully, cataloging every crease and crevice of Buck’s face, the lines in his forehead, the way his birthmark splashes color stunningly above the set of most strikingly beautiful eyes he has ever seen – even though they aren't open at the moment. The way his lips are parted, puffing out soft breaths. The curve of his cheek, the stubble lining his jaw. This is the closest and longest he has been able to openly look at Buck, and he begs this moment to never end. Buck is leaning into his touch, his hands gripping on Eddie’s hips. Eddie feels settled here. Content. Joyful.  

While he lets the conditioner sit for a minute, he grabs the cloth and body wash, squirting some into the center of the cloth and rubbing it together, making the soap lather in his palm. He raises the cloth, wiping it slowly over the skin of his neck, taking in the sight of his teeth marks and love bites littered across Buck’s neck, chest and stomach in various stages of fading. He can’t help the cocky grin that overtakes his face, pride filling his chest as he sees the evidence of his love literally written across Buck’s skin. 

He takes care to rub the cloth all over Buck – behind his ears, under his arms, across his stomach, his back, between his cheeks, his hard cock (and if he gives it a few extra pumps just to make extra sure he has cleared it well, sue him), his muscular thighs, behind his knees, and even squats down to get between Buck’s toes. With each pass of the cloth, Eddie places kisses where the water rinses the soap away. Eddie gently washes every inch of his body and he just stands under the water, feeling himself relax with each swipe of the cloth until he is putty on his feet. Eddie gently lowers Buck’s foot back to the shower floor and he stands, rinsing out the washcloth and placing it over the built-in hand bar in the shower.

He tips Buck’s head back again, and spends the next several quiet moments rinsing the conditioner from his hair, savoring the feeling of Buck’s skin against his palm, silky curls through his fingers. 

Buck finally lifts his head, blinking blearily against the bright light of the bathroom. 

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my lifetime,” Eddie breathes, as if speaking it too loudly into the quietness of the moment will shatter it – whatever it is. 

He doesn’t even mean to let the words out – didn’t even realize he had thought those words before they were already out in the atmosphere, ringing in his ears slightly. The words might be the truest, most genuine he has ever spoken, and that hits him so hard it nearly takes him to his knees. But the thing that gets him the most is that it isn't just the way Buck looks – yes, he really and truly is the most physically attractive person he has ever seen in his life – but it’s about Buck. 

“Just truly beautiful. Heart, mind, body and soul,” he continues, voice a whisper, pure vulnerability in his words. Yes, he has told Buck he is beautiful before, and he meant it, of course, but this time…this time it feels like he is baring his very soul, flaying himself open for Buck to see. He feels exposed. The air between them feels heavy, charged . While he doesn’t regret any of the words he’s said to Buck – he never could, come on, it’s Buck – he can feel himself on the precipice of this moment. Something huge and monumental. And he refuses to allow this moment to happen – at least not right now. 

Buck’s face splits into a grin, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. He opens his mouth to say something – he has no idea what he could possibly say in response to that, but he knows he needs to – but, yet again, Eddie doesn’t give him a chance, tapping his waist twice. 

He clears his throat. “My turn. Switch me.” They swap spots again, Eddie’s back to the shower head, bead of water caressing down his strong shoulders. 

He reaches out for the bottle of shampoo, ready to wash himself quickly so Buck can get out and get ready, but he feels fingers close around his wrist. His head turns to look at Buck, eyebrows scrunching together. 

“What are you doing?” Buck asks. 

Eddie huffs. “Listen, I know this is your fancy curl stuff but come on, it’s just once,” he says. 

A smile tugs at Buck’s lips, and he shakes his head with a chuckle. “I don’t care about the curl stuff. Well, like, a little, but that’s not what I meant,” he says, lowering Eddie’s hand to his side and grabbing the bottle himself. “I meant, I’m doing it. Close your eyes.” 

A small smile tugs at Eddie’s lips, and he complies, closing his eyes and letting Buck guide him a step back under the water, tipping his head back to wet his hair. Buck works the soap through Eddie’s hair the same way Eddie just did to him – slowly, gently, lovingly. 

Buck takes the moment to openly gaze at Eddie, eyes tracing over his face, snagging on his eyebrows, his cheeks, plump lips, stubble beard from where he hasn’t shaved in a few days, strong jaw line. Buck’s sight gets stuck on the beauty mark underneath Eddie’s eye – his very favorite spot on Eddie’s incredibly handsome face – and his lips start to tingle again. This time he doesn’t hold himself back, leaning in slowly and pressing a kiss to that spot, lips lingering against Eddie’s skin. He feels Eddie’s breath puff out, and suddenly he can’t stop, even if he wanted to. He starts to scatter kisses across Eddie’s face – forehead, cheeks, chin, jaw, neck, nose, anywhere he can get purchase. 

His hands are still working in Eddie’s hair, although at this point it is less washing and more gripping and tugging for leverage. Eddie’s breath is starting to come quicker and heavier, landing on Buck’s face and collarbone as he kisses his way across Eddie, growing more intense and desperate with every press of his lips. 

He finally decides to continue with washing Eddie's hair – he's already running late and needs to wrap it up – pressing one final kiss in the space right next to Eddie's parted lips, hands giving one final tug on his brown locks, tipping Eddie's head into the trickle of water, washing away his fancy curl shampoo. 

Buck follows Eddie's order, rubbing the conditioner in his hair and pivoting to washing his body, giving the conditioner time to work. He washes over Eddie's body in the same manner Eddie did to him – soaping him up, rinsing him off, and littering kisses over the clean skin. Buck can't help but place a few more bite marks on Eddie's shoulder and biceps, and based on the way Eddie's hand flies up to his hair, fingers tangling in the wet curls, he'd say Eddie didn't mind adding a few marks to his collection. 

Once Buck has washed his whole body, he returns to Eddie's hair rinsing the conditioner with gentle strokes, making sure there's none left. If he continues playing with Eddie’s hair, listening to the deep breaths he's letting out, watching the way his mouth is slack and muscles are relaxed under his touch, that's his business. 

Eventually his hand lowers and Eddie lifts his head, eyes finding Buck’s through the steamy enclosure. Buck had every intention of reaching around Eddie and turning the water off, resigned to having blue balls at breakfast, knowing Eddie was probably getting off without him, but at the heat, the desire, in Eddie’s eyes, he feels something overtake him. 

He grips Eddie by the waist, spinning him and guiding him until his back hits the shower wall, Buck crowding his space. Buck reaches down wrapping one large hand around both his and Eddie’s cock, both of them letting out a soft grunt when their skin makes contact, Buck giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“Buck, you have to get ready–” Eddie starts, but Buck cuts him off. 

“Need you more,” he says, starting to jerk the both of them off using his one massive hand, forehead resting on the tile next to Eddie’s head. Eddie grunts softly, hips rolling involuntarily into Buck’s touch. 

“Feel so fucking good, Eds. Don’t know what you do to me. Feel like if I don’t have you I’m gonna explode,” Buck says, voice ragged, breathing heavily. 

“Buck,” is all Eddie is able to get out, hands gripping into Buck’s back, leaving crescent shapes and scratches where he is trying to pull them closer together, nearly every inch of skin pressed together from their shoulders to their toes, Buck’s fist still moving steadily between them, gaining speed. 

“So fucking pretty for me,” he says, leaning in to nibble at Eddie’s neck, teeth scraping lightly over the skin sending goosebumps scattering in their wake. 

Eddie’s head falls back, hitting the shower wall with a dull thud . Buck can feel himself getting closer to finishing, and he pulls back slightly in order to watch Eddie, categorizing and memorizing every change and tick in Eddie’s face as he gets closer too. 

Eddie’s eyes open and he looks at Buck through a half-lidded gaze, want and need evident in his big, beautiful brown eyes. He fucks into Buck’s fist easily, lengths of their cocks rutting together in a near frenzy, pure desperation clear in both of their actions. 

“‘M close,” Eddie says, voice coming out as almost a whisper. One of his arms wraps around Buck’s lower back, tugging him even closer, the other reaching up to wind through his curls, tugging once sharply, pulling a groan from Buck. 

“You gonna come for me? Gonna paint my stomach?” Buck teases, pace increasing continuously. 

“Mhm, fuck, yes, I’m – god, don’t stop.” 

“Won’t stop, baby, promise. Not until I have my pretty girl screaming my name.” 

That’s all Eddie needs, pushed over the edge, mouth dropping further open, breath panting as he comes, Buck’s name leaving his lips, back arching as much as it can in the cramped space, shooting sticky white ropes into the space between them, immediately washed away by water. 

Buck keeps stroking them both, working Eddie through his release and murmuring soft praise in his ear, biting gently at his earlobe. He's so close, holding himself back, because he just wants to see if…

Eddie’s hips start rocking again, but instead of seeming like he's rolling up into Buck’s fist, it is almost as if he is jerking his hips away from Buck’s hand, but is caught between Buck and the wall, and can't. Buck keeps him perfectly on the line of overstimulation, pleasure, and pain. He keeps going until– 

“Buck,” Eddie whimpers, and that does it. 

Two more pumps of his hand and Buck is following him over the edge, repeating Eddie’s name, his own ropes of come splashing between them briefly, chest heaving. 

He rests his forehead against Eddie’s as they both suck in deep breaths, coming back down to earth together, water beating against them relentlessly. 

Buck’s eyes fall closed and he revels in this moment of closeness. Every time he remembers he only gets this for four more days, his stomach twists, and he sends a silent plea to the universe to slow down time, just temporarily – just enough for him to truly get to live and experience these moments with Eddie to their fullest. He has this twisted feeling that it is the most complete he will ever feel in his life and while he can’t place why he feels that way, he knows he needs to listen, needs to take advantage of the time he is given. 

Buck’s eyes drift down Eddie’s body, focusing on the globs of come that have landed on Eddie’s thigh, on the floor of the shower. He feels the desire overtake him, and he moves quickly, before the water can wash it completely away. He drops like a stone onto his knees, palms planting on the ground on either side of Eddie’s feet, bending down and running his tongue along the floor of the shower to lick up the mixture of him and Eddie that landed there. 

“Buck, what are you–” Eddie starts, but breaks off with a choked groan as he realizes Buck is literally on his hands and knees lapping at the tiles of the shower to consume as much of his come as he possibly can. Eddie’s back hits the cool wall, needing support to keep his knees from buckling as he watches his best friend contort his tall, bulky figure in the small shower stall to lick and suck his ejaculate off the tile before it washes down the drain. 

His mouth is still dropped open in surprise when Buck turns his attention to the come that is still stuck to Eddie’s leg, licking a stripe up the top of his foot onto his shin, collecting as much as he can and swallowing it down quickly, come and water combining on his tongue as he continue to lick up Eddie’s calves, knees and thighs, switching from one leg to the other, making sure not a drop is wasted to the drainpipe. 

Eddie fights to keep his eyes open, needing to see the way Buck is desperately drinking him down, cleaning his mess from every and any surface. Buck finally deems Eddie clean enough, licking one last line across the tip of Eddie’s now soft cock and placing a kiss to his thigh before standing up, mere millimeters from Eddie, chest heaving, cheeks flushed. Eddie tries to keep the smile off his face, the sick satisfaction at seeing Buck licking gross hotel shower tiles because he came on them settling surprisingly pleasantly in his chest. 

“You’re late,” Eddie says eventually, note of hesitation in his tone, as if he didn’t want to remind Buck that he has to leave. 

“Right.” 

Buck reaches to his right and shuts off the water, pulling back and creating space between him and Eddie despite every cell in his being protesting, screaming to just get closer to him instead. Buck grabs a towel and passes it to Eddie before grabbing one for himself. 

They dry off in content and comfortable silence, Buck moving a bit quicker than he normally would, throwing on clean boxers, when his phone rings, Maddie’s name and a picture of the two of them flashing across his screen. He answers it with a breathless “hello?” as he hops into his jeans, and a t-shirt while still mildly damp, wet curls messy atop his head. 

“Hey, are you on your way?” she asks, tinny voice filtering through the phone as Buck puts her on speaker, setting his phone on the bathroom counter as he starts to brush his teeth. 

“Yeah. ‘m almost ready,” he says through a full mouth. He hears Eddie chuckle behind him and glares at him through the mirror, which only makes him laugh harder. 

“Mmhm, sure. Text me when you get here? If Jee sees you she won’t let you go and I’m starving .” 

“Y-Yeah, got it, uh, be there in, like, ten…probably,” he says, spitting into the sink. 

Maddie clicks off, the monotone beep beep beep indicating the end of the phone call. Buck finishes up in the sink and straightens up, eyes meeting Eddie’s in the mirror again where he is leaning against the doorframe in his boxers, fond smile on his lips as he watches Buck. Buck flushes, eyes dragging over Eddie’s body, taking in his lean, muscular frame. 

“What?” he pouts. 

“You have – come here,” he says, stepping forward, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder and turning him around. He leaves his hand there and his other comes up, swiping a thumb along Buck’s bottom lip to gather some toothpaste that had leaked out. Buck’s breath hitches, getting stuck in his throat as Eddie captivates him, drawing him in. They are mere inches away, and Eddie’s thumb lingers on Buck’s lip. Eddie is staring at his pink, plump lips and has to dig his teeth into his own. His gaze flicks back up to Buck’s as he brings his thumb to his own lips, sucking it inside tongue swirling around the digit, collecting the remnants of the toothpaste he swiped up. He hears Buck suck in a breath, but just continues his work, seemingly unable to stop himself. 

Eventually he pulls his thumb out of his mouth with a pop, and takes a step back from Buck, who is looking at his lips with a dazed expression. 

“C’mon, you’re late,” Eddie says, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Buck literally shakes himself out of it, giving Eddie a quick nod. 

“Right, yeah. I-I’ll, uh, see you soon with Jee?” he asks, just to confirm the plan once more before he leaves. 

“Mhm, have a good breakfast with Maddie,” he says, leaning forward and placing a kiss at the corner of Buck’s mouth before turning and walking out of the bathroom, leaving him frozen once again. His brain finally reconnects and he starts to move again, taking one last look at himself in the mirror, looking at his flushed cheeks and blown pupils with a shake of his head. 

He walks out and grabs his wallet, hotel key, car keys and phone from the nightstand, taking one last look at Eddie who is sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers, leaning back on his hands, beads of water still clinging to his hair, his nose, his eyelashes. Buck can’t tear his eyes away from Eddie’s face – not even to admire the rest of his body which is still perfectly on display – because the look on Eddie’s face is simply captivating. He looks… peaceful, content, relaxed. He looks well-rested, comfortable. The sight warms Buck from the inside out – he tries to memorize this moment, this look, in his mind, because he knows that as soon as it has passed, he will want to return to it. 

Buck’s gaze must have been lingering a bit too long because Eddie starts to laugh, looking at him curiously, like he’s trying to decipher what Buck is doing. 

“Go, Buck, Maddie’s waiting.” 

Buck shakes himself out of it again – Eddie has been particularly distracting today, though he can’t place why, can’t place what’s different about today, but he will take any opportunity to be with Eddie, so he pushes it out of his mind, focusing on the things he knows to be true – and right now, that fact is that he is late. 

He pats his pockets down one more time, turning and heading out of the room, tossing a quick bye over his shoulder. He chooses the stairs instead of the elevator, moving swiftly down and to the car. 

He makes the quick drive over to his parent’s house and texts Maddie that he’s in the driveway. Then he swipes over to his text thread with Eddie. It’s like his thumbs move without his permission, tapping out a message and clicking the blue arrow before he even reads it over. 

Buck: miss me yet 

Eddie: You’ve been gone 5 minutes 

Eddie: I mean yes but 

Eddie: It’s been 5 minutes 

Buck smiles, but before he can type out another response, Maddie is pulling open the passenger side door and sliding in with a sigh. 

“Okay, come on, I’m starving, what the hell took so long?” she asks, buckling her seatbelt and turning to look at Buck, who can do nothing but blush as the memories of last night and this morning hit him like a train. 

“Oh, god, okay, no, don’t answer that. Not before I’ve had coffee. And bacon. Definitely bacon.” 

Buck laughs as he reverses down the driveway, navigating them to a 50s style diner not too far from the house as Maddie fills him in on the new bedtime series Jee has been obsessed with  – Clifford the Big Red Dog – and about how Jee made her promise she would remind Buck about the sleepovers she is owed once they get home. They slide into a booth in the corner of the restaurant and place two nearly identical orders – coffee, pancakes with chocolate chips and bananas and hashbrowns. Maddie gets a side of bacon, and Buck gets sourdough toast. 

Once the waitress walks away, jotting their order down on a small notepad, Buck looks down at his hands, literally twiddling his thumbs. Then he looks up at the counter, watching the waitress refreshing someone’s coffee. Then he looks up at the menu, eyes scanning this week’s special. One catches his eye – cannoli pancakes – and opens his mouth to ask Maddie what she thinks that means, but when his eyes briefly flick to hers, the words get stuck in his lungs. 

She is looking at him with her eyebrows raised, no nonsense look on her face, seriousness rolling off her in waves. 

“Evan,” she says softly. “Where should we start?” 

Buck sighs, resigned to the fact that this conversation probably is overdue, and is kind of the whole reason Maddie wanted to get breakfast with him. “Ask your questions and I’ll answer what I can.” 

“What does that mean?” 

Buck just gives her a look and she rolls her eyes. 

“Okay fine. Was this the plan? How did this happen?” 

He takes a deep breath, thinking over his words carefully. Turns out, the thought was not necessary, because what he decided on was, “It just kind of happened?” 

Maddie makes an incredulous noise at that, but he’s saved by the waitress coming over with plates of food, filling the small table – Buck silently thanks the universe for quick diner food. They thank their waitress and immediately dig in. Buck thinks he might have a slight reprieve from Maddie's line of interrogation, but he forgot that his sister was a master multitasker. She has a fork in one hand, coffee in the other, and her sights set on Buck. 

“Okay, so how did it happen?” 

Buck's lets out a little sigh, and takes a sip of coffee, once again trying to figure out how the fuck he's supposed to explain what's happening. 

“So, I guess, like, you remember mom and dad were like getting on me about relationships, right, and h-he thought he was helping and he was, but yeah, to say I was surprised is an understatement. And then, y-yeah. He was just helping,” Buck stumbles through his explanation, and Maddie’s eyebrows raise higher with every word. 

“Just helping,” she repeats, monotone. 

Buck nods. “Yeah. Well, and after that, it wasn’t like we could just take it back, so-so we just went with it, you know?” he says, dropping his eyes to focus on his plate, cutting into his pancakes perfectly. 

“Went with it,” she repeats flatly. 

“Mmhm.” 

“And all of that,” she starts – and without even looking up, Buck knows she’s using her fork and gesturing at his neck which is nearly completely covered with hickeys and bite marks, “is just…going with it?” 

He does finally glance up, and sees he was exactly correct, fork spokes pointed directly at his collarbone. “No comment,” he says, setting down his own fork. “What’s next?” 

Maddie makes a pouty face, giving him big, brown puppy dog eyes. 

“Do you really want to get into that? With your little brother?” 

She makes a face like she’s tasted something sour, and Buck laughs, digging back into his food – that was the subject that he has the least answers on. He has a million questions of his own that he needs answered about his physical relationship with Eddie before he can answer hers –  and he is still feeling like the last thing he wants to do right now is confront that part of what’s happening, feels like if he addresses it, if he questions it, if he looks at it head on, it’s going to crumble, giving way beneath his feet, and he is terrified of where that free fall will leave him. Terrified it could leave him alone, without Eddie, without Chris – without his family – and that thought is enough to make his stomach turn. Bringing it up and shedding light on the situation is certainly not worth the few answers he would get. 

“Okay, have you guys talked about it? Like what it means? Does Chris know? What does he think?” 

Buck thinks over his words carefully. “We talked about it. He's my best friend, Maddie, that's not going to change for anything. It doesn't mean anything, it can't. It’s not like we're in love or anything. It’s pretend. He’s pretending we are in love, just this week. He just wanted to help. Chris doesn't need to know because there's really nothing for him to know since this is just while we're here, but yeah, Eddie was gonna call him while I’m here and catch him up.” 

Maddie tilts her head, and looks at him with such a soft and sympathetic expression Buck starts to squirm. 

“What?” he asks, shifting in his seat. 

She shakes her head once, and she straightens up, forcing a smile. “Nothing. I just–” she cuts off and purses her lips, thinking. “I just want the best for you, Evan,” she says, looking at him in a way that makes him feel like she means more than she's saying. 

“Yeah, I-I know, Mads. Really, we're fine. It was a surprise, for sure. But we're figuring it out. Friendship still intact and everything.” 

She nods and takes a sip of coffee. “Okay, I have to ask. Is he a good kisser? He looks like he would be a good kisser.”

Buck nearly chokes on a chunk of banana. “Maddie!” he exclaims, coughing while she laughs. 

“What? Sue a girl for being curious.” 

His eyes are nearly watering, and he gulps down hot coffee, which doesn't really help, but it's his only option at the moment. “We, uh, I wouldn't know,” he says, fiddling with his napkin where it rests on the table. 

Now it's Maddie's turn to sputter. “You what? You have bite – no. Never mind. I don't want to know. So you're really saying that nothing has changed? You're still just best friends? No…I don't know, feelings have been stirred up from all of this? Like…are you?” she asks nonchalantly. 

Buck’s chest tightens nearly uncomfortably, and he rubs across it with his palm. The box that lives in the corner of his heart rattles intensely, but as he has done for a long time, he ignores it. It's part of him now, and he is okay with that. Or, well, he should be okay with that. 

This week with Eddie – the casual affection in the way they intertwine their fingers, the press of a hand against his back, the forehead kisses, the physical intimacy – has been maybe the best of his life. Even his parents haven't been able to ruin that so far, which is saying a lot about the impact Eddie has on him. 

The only thing that could make it better is Chris. He's their missing piece, the one that completes their little family. Buck actually, for once in his life, is glad that Chris isn't here. It makes it easier to remember that this is all an illusion, it's all temporary. Missing Chris makes the picture imperfect, keeps him from getting fully sucked into the facade they are putting up. 

Buck’s poker face is usually bad, he knows it is – he is hardly ever able to keep his thoughts from reflecting on his face, letting everyone know pretty much exactly what he is thinking at all times. It’s a blessing and a curse, especially when it comes to Maddie – she has always been able to read him well, the best, aside from Eddie – but there are some things that he has had to keep from her, for either her good or his own. And this just happens to be one of them. 

He’s had a lot of practice with this particular thing, has gotten good at remaining neutral – he’s so good at keeping his features schooled, even Maddie hasn’t been able to see past it. Addressing it makes it real. Acknowledging the box makes it harder to ignore. And Buck has to ignore it – simply cannot survive any other way. So he arranges his face in that way he has had so much practice with. 

“In love with Eddie?” 

“It wouldn’t be so crazy.”

“Yeah, except I’m not . As much as everyone wants me to be hopelessly pining over my straight best friend, that’s just not the way it is. Really, Mads, we couldn’t be more platonic.” 

Maddie sighs, giving a little pout. “Yeah, yeah, okay. I had to try, didn't I? I think you two would be cute together.”

Buck has to laugh at that. “Eddie’s straight.”

Maddie makes another face, one that Buck can tell means she has thoughts but she’s keeping them inside, and this is one topic where he is not willing to push her. “Right, of course. Anyway, what do you think Chris is gonna think? How long is he going to hold this over both of your heads?” she asks, smiling as she thinks about all the ways Chris is going to tease them when they get home. 

Buck’s mouth turns slack. “Oh, god. I knew he wouldn’t care, but I didn’t think about the fact that he is never going to let us hear the end of this,” he says, dropping his head in his hands as Maddie just laughs. 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, I’m going to teach Jee a curse word on our day out,” he says, and she flings a straw wrapper at his head. 

Back at the hotel room, Eddie flops back on the bed, now fully dressed, resting with one hand behind his head, propping his phone up on his chest with his other hand. 

He's been avoiding this phone call, which is ridiculous – he knows it needs to happen, should have already happened – but he just doesn't want to, knows that it's more comfortable to pretend it's not happening. But just because it's more comfortable doesn't mean it's fair, and he knows he has to have the conversation. 

“Come on, Edmundo, you're being silly,” he sighs, dropping his phone on his stomach and running his hand over his face. 

He sits up on the bed, leaning against the headboard and picks up his phone, listening to the familiar dull ring, ring, ring. 

With a whoosh , his call is answered and a smiling Chris fills his screen, curls messy atop his head. 

“Hi, Dad! I thought you and Buck were calling me later,” he says propping his own phone up on the desk and leaning back in his chair. 

“What's up, kid? Camp treating you okay?” 

Chris gives a half chuckle and rolls his eyes with a smirk. “Camp is good, I'm learning a lot. We have a lot of free time to do experiments,” he answers, excitement shining in his eyes. 

Eddie's chest floods with warmth, a feeling he is so familiar with – a feeling he always experiences when he is with Chris and Buck. 

“That's great! Messiest one so far?” 

“S’mores volcano. Don't ask,” he says, laughing at Eddie's confused expression. Eddie nods, laughter bubbling up in himself as well. 

“Noted. Listen, I have to talk to you about something,” Eddie starts, feeling anxiety swirl in his gut. His free hand grips the sheets, doing anything to ground himself. He wishes Buck was here, knows that he would feel better with him by his side. 

“Uh oh. What’d you do?” Chris asks. 

“Why do you assume I did something?” Eddie responds, mock wounded expression across his face. 

Chris gives him a look, head tilted and eyebrow raised, and the look is so Buck that it nearly knocks the wind out of him. 

“Yeah, okay, I might have done something,” he says, sighing, making Chris laugh which eases some of the roaring nerves in his chest. “So you know how Buck’s parents aren't the best?” 

“Please tell me you switched their salt and sugar,” Chris begs, exasperated. 

“Chris,” Eddie scolds, trying to keep the laugh out of his voice and the smile off his face, “why would I do that?” 

“They're horrible, Dad, and Buck is the best. The least they deserve is swapped seasonings. But fine, yes, I do know they suck, what's new?” 

“Well, so, they were being rude to Buck when we first got here. Saying he needed to settle down or he'd never have a family,” he explains, anger rolling over him as he remembers how the Buckley parents treated Buck, and still treat Buck – the best person he has ever known. 

“What?!” Chris yelps. “That's insane, Buck has a family. We're literally right here.” 

Eddie nods. “I know. I'm glad you agree,” he says, raising up a hand and scratching at the back of his neck. “Because I kind of told them that Buck and I are…dating.” 

Eddie can't decide if he wants to see Chris’ reaction or avoid it like the plague, so his eyes are flicking rapidly from the edge of the sheet he's fiddling with and the screen where Chris’ eyes grow wide and his mouth drops open. 

There's a beat of silence where Eddie feels like he's in free fall. He doesn't know what Chris is going to think about this, but it feels like a pivotal moment, and Eddie's body is acting like there's a lot riding on this, but Eddie's brain knows that this is just a temporary thing and it's not that big of a deal. 

Then, Chris bursts out laughing, and Eddie feels like he can breathe again, even joining in as Chris is just howling. 

“Of course you did. You and Buck unlocking a new level of codependent relationship? Fork found in kitchen,” he sighs when he finally stops giggling, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. 

“I don’t even know what that means. Plus, it's not funny, Chris, they were being really mean,” Eddie says, knowing he sounds whiny as the words leave his lips but finding he doesn't care. 

“Oh, I’m so sure.” 

“It's only temporary. Just this week and then everything will be back to normal when we get home.” 

Chris starts laughing again, and Eddie tilts his head in confusion. “Is anything really different though?” he questions. 

Eddie flushes, and tries to keep a neutral expression, trying not to let all the ways in which it has been different creep into his mind right now. 

“I mean, um, yeah, some things have changed.” 

Chris rolls his eyes. “Okay so now you kiss,” he says, and Eddie chokes on air – thoughts of Buck’s pink, plump, tempting lips pop into his mind. He absolutely refuses to talk about this to Chris of all people – but even if it was someone else, the last thing he would want to say is that the only thing they haven’t done is kiss, knows that the fact will only solidify their opinions on this situation even more. He also chooses to not think about how the fact that they haven’t kissed is ridiculous because it’s the easiest way to show affection to keep up their ruse – but no, they have chosen to get tangled in the sheets several times a day to be comfortable together. He’s still sputtering as Chris continues, “but your actual relationship hasn’t changed. All my friends think you’re dating already anyway.” 

That stops Eddie’s spiral, and sends him on a new one at the same time. 

“They what?! Why?” 

Chris gives him another look that is so teenager it nearly makes Eddie’s heart ache. “Dad, come on. You and Buck both act like my dad. You get along better with him than nearly every girlfriend you have ever had.” 

“Christopher!” 

Chris laughs again. “What? It’s true!  

Eddie takes a pause, brain moving a million miles an hour. Was that true? Did they act like dads together? Was the only thing he was missing with Buck sex? Well, like, normally – this week is the exception not the rule. He starts to think about the fact that he would rather hang out with Buck than any partner he’s ever had – unfortunately, Chris was right about that – but quickly shuts that down when he feels his breathing starting to pick up, anxiety lingering just beneath the surface, threatening to overwhelm him. 

“That’s just how best friends are,” he croaks, throat getting tight. 

“I’m not like that with Denny,” Chris replies simply, yet softly. Eddie looks at the screen, and Chris is looking at him with a small smile – not teasing, just gentle. 

“Right. Well whatever. Nothing is changing, and we’ll still be us when we get home, but I just wanted you to know. In case Jee said something to you or something,” Eddie shrugs.

“Yeah, thanks. I love you, Dad. Even if you are gay. For the week or whatever. No matter what,” he emphasizes. 

“Love you, too, kid. You really are the best, you know that?” Eddie smiles. 

Chris rolls his eyes, but can’t help but grin. “Yeah, obviously,” he jokes. 

Eddie asks him a few more questions about camp – how the cabin situation has been, how he and the other kids are getting along, his new friends, what his plans for the rest of the day are (going to the river with his friends and spending the evening making up their own lab reports – he really did have the world’s best kid). 

They say their goodbyes, which is really a ‘see you later’ because Buck is going to facetime Chris later tonight – they miss each other, too, and it was even Chris’ idea which made both Buck and Eddie turn to goo when he texted them about it yesterday. 

He always feels lighter after talking to Chris, feeling like all of his worries melt away when he is able to connect with his kid – their relationship is the most important thing in the world to him and he always cherishes the time he gets to spend talking to Chris. 

Eddie’s fingers tap nervously on the back of his phone, Chris’ words ringing in his ears. You and Buck unlocking a new level of codependent relationship? Fork found in kitchen. He still doesn’t really know what that means, but the fact that his fourteen year old son is calling him codependent with his best friend definitely made him stop in his tracks. Plus him asking if anything has really changed in their relationship. And honestly, besides sex, it hasn’t – they are still the same, still BuckandEddie – Eddie has just been able to act on his physical impulses. 

As he sits there, conversation on a loop in his mind, he feels heavier again, weighed down by thoughts he can’t – or doesn’t want to – acknowledge. Eddie is the most hung up on how their conversation about the fake dating situation ended. Chris looked at him with a mix of sympathy, understanding, and knowing , and that thought slithers uncomfortably under Eddie’s skin. What did Chris see that he didn’t? 

And why did Chris assume he would be gay for the week instead of bi like Buck. He was the one who had been married before and has a kid after all, it only makes sense he would be bi too. But even as he thinks the words, he can feel the weight of them, and it sits uncomfortably in his chest. It just doesn’t fit . He drums his fingers on his phone some more, replaying that part of their conversation. Eventually he sighs, picking up his phone and navigating to a new private search tab – Buck just taught him how to do that a few days ago, so he still remembers how to do it. 

His fingers hover over the keys, pure anxiety and fear coursing through his veins. He takes a deep breath – he’s alone, nobody is here, nobody needs to know. But he does. He can’t ignore it any longer. He questions for a moment if he’s going to be sick – if finally looking at the box locked away in his mind is going to make him physically ill, but he takes another deep breath, counting backwards from five (a couple times, because once is simply not enough), and tries to slow his racing heart. 

His shaky fingers finally start to type.

Google Search: “am i g–”

He nearly drops his phone as it starts buzzing in his hand, Chimney’s face looking back at him from the screen. He huffs, having been jump scared by one of his best friends, then chuckles and closes out of his tab. Obviously this is a sign that he doesn’t need to be entertaining these silly ideas. Not to be ironic, but he could kiss Chim for breaking him out of his odd delusional trance. He was being ridiculous. 

Eddie taps the green button, putting his phone on speaker. “Hey, Chim, what’s up?”

“Uncle Eddieeeeee,” Jee whines through the phone, and Eddie is helpless to keep from smiling, her little voice tugging at his heartstrings. 

“”Hey, princess! What are you doing on your daddy’s phone?” 

“I had to call you, uncle, daddy is trying to kill me,” she says dramatically. Eddie can literally hear her stomping through the house over the phone and he tries his best to stifle his laugh. 

“Oh my god, Jee, are you on the phone?” 

Eddie starts to laugh as he hears Chim’s voice call out from what is obviously a different room than Jee is currently stomping around in. 

“What’s he doing to you?” Eddie says in mock outrage. 

“His pancakes are horrible, he has to be poisoning me,” she says, pouting. 

“Oh no! A bad breakfast and poison? Not a very good start to your day, huh?” Eddie says. 

“Jee, who are you talking to? Your mother is going to kill me,” Chim says, closer than he was before. 

“I think Maddie will be the least of your worries. From what I heard, she has enough for a police report,” Eddie jokes and he can hear Chimney’s breath of relief. 

“Eddie, thank god. Come over. Like, now.” 

And with that there’s the dull beep beep beep signaling the end of the call. How he was supposed to get to the Buckley house without the car they were sharing, he wasn’t quite sure, but if they needed him, he’d find a way. He rolls off the bed, changing and folding his nicer clothes, packing them in a drawstring bag and plugging the address into his maps. The house is only about a mile and a half from the hotel, just a straight shot down the road. 

He heads downstairs and takes off at a jog in the direction of the house, setting a brisk but sustainable pace. About nine minutes later, he’s panting on the Buckley’s porch – and not for the first time, but he pushes that memory right out of his brain. Maybe Buck was right, maybe he really is the fastest runner – he thought Buck was just saying that because he didn't want to deal with the bees, Eddie could have sworn Buck was the fastest runner, but maybe not. With how long, thick, and muscular his legs are, how is he not the fastest? Eddie makes a mental note to challenge him to a race later, settle the debate once and for all. 

He actually is impressed with himself – he ran all the way here and didn’t break a sweat at all. He drops to the front step to catch his breath for a second, reaching into his bag to pull out his phone, tapping Buck’s text thread. 

Eddie: I’m already at your parent’s house, no need to pick me up. 

Buck: what? how did you get there?

Eddie: I’ll explain later. Enjoy breakfast. 

Buck: thanks <3

Eddie is smiling at his phone like a loser, about to double tap and heart the message when the front door swings open, and Eddie turns where he’s sitting to see Chimney standing there, exasperated and with flour on his shirt. 

“What part of now did you not understand, Diaz? Your niece is begging for you, come on,” he says, tossing a dish towel at Eddie before closing the door. Eddie just laughs, catching the towel easily, gathering up all his stuff and heading inside after him. He sets his bag down just inside the door, crouching down because he knows what’s coming. 

And sure enough, four seconds after closing the door behind him, tiny feet are pounding down the hallway. 

“Uncle Eddie, you’re here to save me!” Jee squeals, flinging herself into Eddie’s waiting arms. He stands up with her, spinning her around in a huge hug. 

“Hi, princess. Breakfast not good?” 

She shakes her head and buries her face in the crook of his neck, arms squeezing tightly around him. “Horrible,” she says, muffled against his shirt. 

“Eddie! What a surprise! Here again without Evan. It's almost like you don't want to spend any time with him either,” Margaret says, laughing at her own joke. 

Eddie can feel his face fall, and schools his features back into a neutral expression. “He's at breakfast. He should be here soon.” 

“Ah, pity. At least you got away for a little while,” Philip says, wrapping an arm around Margaret's waist. 

“I actually can't wait for him to get back. We are going to have such a fun day together, isn't that right, Jee?” he asks, poking a finger into her side and making her giggle. 

“I bet you'd have more fun on your own! If you want, you can head out now and we will cover for you,” Margaret says, winking at him. 

Eddie's stomach turns, and he squashes the anger he feels rolling across his body. 

“Actually, if anyone should leave, maybe it should be you. That way you're not here when he gets back,” Eddie says, voice tight. 

Philip almost smiles . “You know what, we actually do have grocery shopping to do. We were going to wait until this afternoon, but why not go now, huh?” 

He turns to Margaret and she shrugs, and Eddie lets out a small breath of relief. The less time either of them spend with the Buckley parents the better. 

“See you later, then. Good luck today!” she calls over her shoulder as they head out the door to their car. 

Eddie physically relaxes, tensed muscles loosening simply by being out of their presence. 

“I’m soooooo hungry, uncle Eddie, please can you help daddy?” 

“I’m telling you, Jee, uncle Eddie does not make better pancakes than me, it’s uncle Buck that can cook,” Chim says. 

“Uncle Eddie always helps. Pleaseeee uncle Eddie,” she begs, looking up at him with the cutest puppy dog eyes and he folds immediately. 

“Of course I’ll make you pancakes, Jee. Do you want to be my helper?” 

She jumps up and down and nods her head enthusiastically and he laughs. He grabs a chair from the dining room and pulls it into the kitchen, placing it so the back of the chair is up against the edge of the counter. He grabs all the ingredients – luckily there's only three, they're using a boxed mix – and utensils he is going to need and puts them on the table in front of the chair. Finally, he grabs Jee herself and stands her up in the chair, standing behind her and boxing her in with his arms to make sure she doesn't fall, using the chair as a makeshift step stool so she can see what she's doing. 

“Okay, first you're going to pour the mix into the bowl,” he says, pointing at the bag of mix sitting on the counter. 

The front door squeaks open, and Eddie braces himself for the voices of Philip and Margaret to return, but he immediately relaxes as he hears Buck’s laugh ring out from the entryway. 

He hears voices coming from behind him, but he's focused on his work with Jee, and doesn't realize that Buck is leaning in the doorway, watching him. 

Jee reaches for the bag and pours it expertly into the waiting bowl. Next they add the water and a splash – or a little bit more, but who's counting – of vanilla. Eddie and Jee both have a hand on the whisk, combining all the ingredients. 

“Hey, what's going on here?” Buck asks brightly, finally stepping into the kitchen. 

“Uncle Eddie is making me breakfast!” Jee explains happily as she continues stirring the batter. 

“He what? No, I got it, watch out,” he says, coming to stand next to Eddie and reaching for the bowl. 

Eddie is ready to let him step into his place behind Jee, knowing that Buck is the better cook and can make a mean pancake, but Jee grabs the bowl and physically turns her back on him, keeping the batter out of his reach. 

“No, uncle Buck. I want uncle Eddie to help me.” 

Buck huffs a quiet chuckle and Eddie turns to look at him and give him a shrug. Buck smiles and shakes his head, stepping into Eddie’s space, his solid chest bumping into Eddie’s arm. Eddie’s breath catches as Buck’s hand comes up to cradle his face, thumb swiping away a streak of pancake mix that somehow made it onto his cheek. Buck’s eyes flicker down to his lips and back up to his eyes, and Eddie realizes he's not breathing, so he forces air into his lungs, heart pounding. 

“You're making Eddie make you pancakes? Jee, honey, can I help you?” Maddie says, walking into the now crowded kitchen, breaking the moment between them as Buck takes a deep breath and steps back. 

“He's got it. Come on, help me pack Jee’s bag for the day, we have to go soon,” he says, leading Maddie out of the kitchen. 

Eddie and Jee finish mixing the batter and she sits at the table talking to him about mermaids as he heats up the stove and starts to cook the pancakes. He only burns two – he makes a mental note to tell Chris, that's his personal best record. He stacks them on a plate and carries the food and syrup to the table, loading up Jee’s Rapunzel plate, giving her a glass of milk. 

Upstairs, Maddie and Buck are working on folding an extra pair of clothes, sunscreen, and coloring book into Jee’s tiny backpack. Buck’s hands are shaking slightly, and he runs them through his curls, trying to calm the storm raging inside of him. He feels like a dam has broken, and he is working overtime trying to get it back up. 

Seeing Eddie and Jee warmed his heart so much he feels like he's about to break into a sweat. Only a few more days and it goes back to normal. He can do anything for a few days. He's survived a ladder truck falling on him, a tsunami, and literally being struck dead by lightning. He can do this. 

“Evan,” Maddie says softly, placing her hands over his where they are struggling to fold up Jed's shirt. 

Buck closes his eyes briefly, and then looks up to lock eyes with Maddie, finding sympathy, understanding and concern there. 

“What's going on?”

“I don't want it to end, Mads. What am I supposed to do with that?” he says, pain etched into the tone of his voice.  

“I think that's maybe the wrong question.” 

“What do you mean?” 

She sighs, hesitation causing a pause of silence. “Maddie, come on, please,” Buck says, giving her puppy dog eyes that remind her of when he was little, and she is helpless. Maybe her and Eddie should start a puppy dog eye support group. 

She sighs again, looking down, focusing on placing items into the backpack. “I’m wondering if maybe the question you want to be asking is ‘what am I supposed to do about that?’ But maybe I’m wrong,” she adds, giving him a second to process before looking up to see emotions dancing across his face in quick succession. 

Buck shakes his head. “No.” 

Maddie tilts her head, heart hurting for her baby brother, wanting to take all of his pain away, wanting to fix whatever this is. “Buck, I–”

“No, Maddie, I can’t. I can’t think like that. I have to rely on the facts that I know to be true.”

She nods, resigned to dropping it and supporting him however he needs. “Okay, and what are those facts?” 

“Eddie is straight. Eddie is my best friend. Eddie and Chris are the most important thing to me. There’s nothing I won’t do for them. Nothing is worth the risk of losing them. Those are the facts that I know.” 

“I think you’re missing one.”

“Which is?”

“We love you, Buck. You’re never going to be alone again, not if I have anything to say about it,” she says, reaching across the space between them and ruffling his hair playfully, making him laugh and duck his head out of her reach. 

He takes a deep breath. “Right. I know. Love you too, Mads. Alright, we really do have to leave soon,” he says as he zips up the backpack, putting his arm through the strap and standing up, holding his hand out to Maddie to help her up off the floor. He turns to leave, ready to head downstairs when he feels a hand on his arm, turning him back around and into a hug. Maddie’s arms wrap around him tightly, and he reciprocates, resting his chin on top of her head. 

“I’m so proud of you, Buck,” she whispers, and he just gives her a squeeze. They break the embrace and walk downstairs together, finding Chimney, Eddie and Jee all sitting around the dining room table with big smiles and sticky hands. 

“I’m eating with my fingers, mommy, look!” Jee exclaims, holding up her hand and spreading her fingers, showing strands of syrup connecting them. Chim and Eddie mimic her motions, both of them grinning at Maddie and Buck where they stand in the doorway, hands held up, fingers spread out. 

“Oh my, I can see that! What happened to the forks?” Maddie chuckles. 

“Uncle Eddie said eating with your hands is more fun, and we just had to try it!” 

Everyone turns to look at Eddie who now has a sheepish smirk on his face. “What, it’s true! Isn’t it Jee?” 

She nods and he gets a smug look on his face as if to say see. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, princess, we’re gonna head out in just a few minutes,” Buck says, heading to the kitchen to get something to help clean them up with. 

Just as he is running paper towels under the water, the front door opens, and Philp and Margaret step inside, each holding a few grocery bags, beelining toward the kitchen. Before he can process that they are here and get back to an area with witnesses, he’s cornered, stuck in the kitchen with them alone. 

“I knew we should have taken an extra lap around the store,” Philip says, setting his bags down on the counter. 

“So, what are you going to do with Jee today?” Margaret asks, avoiding even looking at him. 

“We’re, uh, going to the science museum, and then having a picnic in the park,” he says, looking down and fidgeting nervously with the paper towels in his hands. 

She scoffs. “That’s it?” 

Buck blinks a few times, dazed, and nods, clearing his throat. “Yeah, that’s it.” 

“You’re missing Jim’s retirement party, and you’re wasting your day instead. Why does that not surprise me, Evan? Can’t you ever do one fucking thing right? All you have to do is entertain our granddaughter for the day, take her somewhere fun, and you can’t even do that right. Honestly, it’s for the best that you don’t have kids of your own. You would just mess them up like you’ve messed up your whole life,” she spits. “I don’t know why I ever expect anything different from you. I’m always too nice to you, Evan. Maybe that’s where we went wrong,” she finishes, shaking her head sadly. 

Buck recoils like he’s been slapped, tears pricking at the back of his eyes. “I do have a kid, mom. Chris is mine, in every sense of the word but biologically. You don’t know anything about me to be able to say that. T-That’s not fair,” he starts, and Margaret raises a hand, effectively cutting him off without even saying a word. 

“I don’t care to know you, Evan. Everything I do know about you is disappointing enough. I can’t imagine wasting my time to get to know you only to feel the same. I have far better things to do with my time.” 

And with that, they begin putting their groceries away, not sparing him another glance, chatting with each other as if he is no longer there – which, in their minds, he isn’t. He stumbles back a few steps, back hitting the counter, keeping him stable and grounding him. He clenches the towels in his fists, blinking back tears, and heads back out to the dining room. He works dutifully on cleaning Jee’s hands first, Maddie moving the plate out of the way as she immediately tries to smack her freshly cleaned hand back in the mess. 

Maddie and Chim are talking quietly, discussing the upcoming retirement party and what they are supposed to wear, but Buck can feel Eddie’s eyes on him, watching him, cataloging his movements. When Jee has been successfully de-syruped, she and Maddie head to the entryway to put her shoes on. Buck holds out a new paper towel to Chim, who gratefully takes it from him, and another to Eddie. Buck has his eyes fixed on the table, avoiding looking in Eddie’s direction, but he doesn’t take the towel. Buck waits a beat, hoping Eddie will notice and grab the paper towel. Eventually Buck sighs, swinging his eyes up, mouth open and ready to get Eddie’s attention, but he finds Eddie’s concerned brown eyes looking back at him. Buck snaps his mouth shut and blinks in surprise. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows slightly, able to communicate so much with minute movements of his face. Buck knows this means you okay?  

He just shakes his head slightly – communicating either no or not now , or both, he’s not quite sure – and Eddie nods once, grabbing the napkin from Buck and cleaning off his hands. Buck shoots him a shaky, grateful smile, and follows Maddie and Jee down the hall to finish getting ready. 

“You two okay?” Chim asks, eyeing him oddly. 

“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine.” 

“So…dating. Welcome to the ‘in love with a Buckley’ club. How does it feel?” he teases, bumping Eddie with his elbow. 

Eddie laughs. “Feels the same as normal I guess.” 

Chim’s face contorts in a confused expression at that, turning his head fully to look at Eddie. “You couldn’t pay me to fake being in love with Buck, and you’re telling me it feels normal ?” he asks, keeping his voice to a whisper for maybe the third time in his whole life, which Eddie is quite thankful for, assuming that Margaret and Philip are in the kitchen and the cause of why Buck is so upset. 

Eddie shrugs. “He’s my best friend, not a whole lot has changed.” 

“Right. Makes sense,” Chim shakes his head. “You guys are so weird.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, grinning, and tossing his napkin at Chim as he stands up, heading toward the front door to grab his bag and put his shoes on. 

Buck is kneeling down buckling Jee’s shoes for her, and Eddie doubles back to the dining room, grabbing his glass of water off the table, reaching into his drawstring bag and popping the lid on a bottle of painkillers, shaking two into the palm of his hand, walking back toward the front door. 

Buck stands up, and Maddie and Jee head outside to get settled in the car. Buck goes to follow them out the door, but Eddie slides in between him and the door, pushing it closed and blocking it with his body, holding out the pills and the cup of water silently. Buck tilts his head, confused, and Eddie just nods to his leg, and Buck gives him a small smile, grabbing the pills from his outstretched palm, washing them down with his glass of water. 

Eddie watches him carefully, and when Buck is done, takes the cup from him and walks around him to go put it in the sink as the front door swings open once again as Buck walks out to the car. 

Much to his relief, the kitchen is empty when he walks in and he places the cup in the sink, then places his palms to the counter taking some deep breaths. He can do this. By the time he gets outside, Maddie has buckled Jee into the car seat and is giving her a goodbye kiss. 

“Our party is until six. Unless you want to eat with mom and dad, you should probably have dinner before you come back,” Maddie reminds them, leaning in to give Buck a hug. “Thanks for taking her for the day, we really appreciate it. She is already so bored of all these events, and honestly I can’t blame her. I’m actually quite jealous you guys get to go have fun. Just remember that I’m your favorite sister,” she says, pointing at Buck and smiling. He rolls his eyes playfully, nodding his head. 

“Favorite and only, Mads. We’ll see you later,” he laughs, sliding into the driver’s seat and turning around to chat to Jee. 

“Are you excited for today?” he asks. 

“ So excited, uncle Buck, we are going to have so much fun. Uncle, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, princess, what’s up?” 

“Are you and uncle Eddie in love?” 

Buck feels his heart drop to his toes . “Um, uh, w-why do you ask, Jee?” 

“Well, mommy and daddy are in love, and you and uncle Eddie are always together, and are just like them. But mommy said it’s just pretend,” she says, pouting. 

“It is, i-it’s just for this week. When we go home we will just be friends again,” Buck explains, or tries to, knowing that it is a confusing concept for anyone let alone his young niece. 

“But why not? Uncle Eddie is the best!”

Buck sighs, glancing outside to see Maddie and Eddie talking. “He is the best, I know. He really is. I’m just not very brave.”

“”You can borrow my brave uncle Buck! That way you can be in love with uncle Eddie!” she says, waving a hand around her head and then waving it in Buck’s direction, like she just gathered courage from her aura and sent it to him through the air, and he chuckles. 

“Thanks, Jee. But what if it’s just pretend?” he asks quietly, not really intending for Jee to hear, but of course she does. 

“Can you pretend forever?” 

“I don’t know that we can,” Buck says, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“The prince and the princess always end up together in my books, and I would have to ask mommy to be sure, but I think it's the same for a prince and a prince. Be brave uncle Buck – like Merida!” she says, reaching for her backpack and pulling out a doll of the princess, shaking it at him. He laughs and tells her he will try, and listens intently as she tells him the plot of the movie, acting surprised and shocked at every detail as if they didn't watch it together three times just last week. 

Outside, Maddie places a hand on Eddie’s arm, squeezing slightly. “Have fun today. He’s so excited about this. He planned it for Jee, but he planned it for you, too.” 

“Thanks, Maddie. He’s pretty special, huh?” Eddie responds softly, almost like he forgot he was speaking aloud, looking past Maddie briefly to watch Buck laugh at something Jee said in the car. 

Maddie chuckles at that. “Nobody else in the world quite like our Buck.” Eddie just nods, giving her a smile, and heading toward the car, getting in the passenger seat. 

“Are we ready? We have a lot to get to today,” Buck says excitedly, turning around in his seat from where he was talking to Jee so he can put the car into reverse and back out of the driveway.

“Where exactly are we going?” Eddie inquires. 

Buck shoots him a look. “You think I’m going to just tell you? We are actively on our way, and you think I’m going to just, what, give it away a few minutes early? C’mon, Eds, you know me better than that.” 

“I know you want to keep it a secret, but I also know you want to tell me so bad because you’re just so excited you can’t keep it inside,” he teases, poking at Buck’s arm. 

Buck starts giggling, leaning away from Eddie, but Eddie keeps poking, working his way from his lower bicep up to his shoulder. 

“Come on,” he says in a singsong voice. “I know you want to tell me so bad, come on, B, it’ll feel so good to just let it out, you can do it. You’re so excited, baby, let me be excited with you, pleaseeeee,” he begs, reaching all the way up to poke at one of the bite marks he left on Buck’s neck, and he bursts out laughing, reaching up and tangling his fingers with Eddie’s, getting them off his neck. He doesn’t let go and Eddie doesn’t pull away, so their elbows rest on the center console, intertwined fingers resting between them. 

Buck finally sighs, shooting Eddie a quick glance. “Okay, fine, but I’m only giving you a hint.”

Eddie twists his body so he’s looking directly at Buck, eyes lighting up. “I’ll take whatever you give me, that’s fine.” 

Buck glances at him again, enough to give him a wink, and then focuses back on the road. Eddie’s thumb mindlessly swirls patterns over the back of his hand, and Buck does his best to not to look down at them, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that their hands are still connected out of fear Eddie will also realize and pull his away. 

“We’re actually not going to facetime Chris tonight, we’re going to do it at our first stop. We’re eating lunch at our second stop, and I brought you a change of clothes because you’ll need those too, and then our final stop is just dinner. And that’s all I’m going to say,” he explains, smile growing wide as he discusses their plans for the day. 

“Oh, really? New science exhibit open up nearby?” Eddie asks, still twisting Buck’s fingers between his. Buck’s mouth drops open, and then turns into a pout, pink bottom lip protruding prominently. 

“How’d you know?” he whines. 

Eddie laughs. “It was just a guess. I just know you – and Chris. I promise I’ll act surprised. The change of clothes has me stumped though, so don’t worry, baby, you still have some surprises up your sleeve,” Eddie says, bringing their conjoined hands to his lips and pressing several soft kisses to the back of Buck’s hand. 

Buck relaxes a bit in his seat – not because he still gets to surprise Eddie, although that does help – but because it is now extremely clear that Eddie knows they are holding hands and doesn’t care. In fact, Buck would say that he was maybe enjoying it, if he didn’t know better. 

Eddie turns over his shoulder and talks with Jee as Buck navigates them downtown. Every few minutes, Buck will glance in the mirror to check behind them, and looks at Jee as she talks animatedly with Eddie, and then he glances at Eddie, who is somehow always looking back at him at the right moment. They finally pull up outside the science and innovation center which houses cool exhibits and areas for experiments made for children and adolescents. It was one of Buck’s favorite places growing up, and while he hasn’t been here in some number of years, he feels sure that it’ll still hold up. 

Eddie presses one last kiss to Buck’s knuckles and then gets out of the car and opens the backdoor to get Jee out. Buck takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly, trying to get centered again. He presses his knuckles to his own lips, lining it up to the same place Eddie’s lips just were, almost as if trying to feel his lips through his hand. 

Buck slides out of the car and jogs to catch up to where Eddie and Jee have walked slightly ahead of him, Jee pulling Eddie forward with all her weight. 

“–we’ll bring him next time because he can help teach me! Chris is so smart, and you and uncle just don’t know everything he knows,” Buck hears Jee say as he falls into step on Eddie’s other side. Eddie laughs. 

“He is very smart. I’m sure he would love to take you around a museum,” Eddie responds, and Jee’s eyes light up. She starts rattling off plans, and what she wants to do during their week of sleepovers, and Eddie focuses on her, making sure they navigate to the front doors safely, and responding when he needs to. 

Buck walks beside them, walking the two of them interact, heart clenching. His hand brushes up against Eddie’s, and the urge to grab onto it, weaving their fingers back together is so strong he has to make a first, digging his nails into his palm in order to ground himself, remind himself that they aren’t actually dating and he needs to have boundaries. 

Although, Eddie did say they were boyfriends this week, and he did say that they needed to be comfortable with each other, and he did say that he enjoyed physical touch. Buck takes a deep breath, stretching out his fist, flexing his fingers. 

Be brave. Like Merida. 

Buck slides his palm against Eddie's, interlocking their fingers, bracing himself to feel Eddie yank out of his grip, but instead, Eddie never falters, still talking with Jee, and gives his hand three gentle squeezes. 

Buck feels like the weight of the world just lifted off his chest, setting his heart free to soar among the clouds. He can't keep the giant, goofy grin off his face, so he just lets it happen. He's not sure why out of everything that has happened this weekend, holding hands with Eddie feels like the thing that has the locked box in his mind bursting at the seams. 

Buck hasn't let himself feel a lot the last few days, which hasn't been easy, but has been necessary, because once he starts feeling, it's really hard for him to stop. But he's not sure how much longer he's going to be able to do that, emotions already slipping through the cracks. Being able to keep what's pretend and what's real separate is going to be so hard for him, but he's exhausted from trying to keep this wall up. 

As Eddie's thumb begins rubbing circles against his, he gets pulled from his mind, back into the present moment. He once again opts for focusing on what is happening right now instead of figuring out what the tangled web of emotions inside his chest actually means. He’ll figure it out eventually. Why would he want to rush the hurt that comes with what he is pretty sure he knows? 

They walk into the museum and Jee and Buck’s eyes both light up, and Eddie can't help but chuckle. He is being pulled toward the ticket counter by both of them, the two of them both bouncing in excitement. Buck fishes his wallet out of his pocket and pays for their tickets, Jee already trying to escape to an exhibit. 

“Where to first, Jee?” Eddie asks, turning to look at the girl literally shaking with excitement. 

“The house!” she squeals, tugging them in that direction. 

They walk together over to the energy exhibit. There's a huge fake interior of a house, all sorts of signs and fun facts about electricity use plastered along the walls. There's a station where you can see how much energy you can generate with a tiny wind turbine and water, a station where you guess what appliances consume the most electricity, a station with a fully electric table where you drag and drop power hubs onto the map to see how the location changes the energy for the city, and a station where you guess how many watts of energy each item uses by playing shuffleboard. 

Jee steers them through each station, asking Buck questions he happily answers, encouraging (forcing) all of them to take their turns at each and every station. 

“Uncle Buck, do our brains have lightbulbs?” she asks, curious look on her face as she taps at a display lightbulb that shows the difference in wattage. 

“No, lightbulbs are for houses and stores. Our brains don't have electricity, so there's nowhere to screw in a lightbulb. Plus, changing it would be horrible,”

he says, shuddering dramatically, making Jee giggle. 

“Then how come daddy says you aren't the brightest bulb?” she asks, genuine confusion crinkling her face. 

Buck makes a choked noise, and Eddie bursts out laughing. 

“Hey!” Buck says, turning to Eddie with a pout. 

“Oh, I'm sorry, baby, but come on, that was funny,” Eddie says, still laughing. 

Buck, being petty, tries to tug his hand out of Eddie's, but Eddie just tightens his grip, pulling on Buck until their chests are bumping together. 

“I'm sorry, mi sol . Your bulb is the best and brightest of them all, I promise ,” he says, and Buck grins, lighting up the whole room. Eddie leans in, pressing a quick and chaste kiss to Buck’s cheek, then pulls away, turning back to Jee to keep answering her questions. Buck can still feel his lips lingering, and lives in that dazed bliss for a moment longer before shaking himself out of it and crouching down with Jee. 

Next, they head to the planetarium where they watch a video about the creation of the milky way and its planets, walk through a space tunnel, and walk through a scaled down but proportionate replica of the planets. After that is the historic area, which has been transformed into a street circa 1960, with cobblestone, storefronts that you can actually walk through, a movie, and old fashioned picture stand. 

Buck was actually the one that insisted they all get a picture together using the old camera, promising that they are going to want the memory and that it will be worth it – it was, it actually was really cool to get to see how the camera worked and the picture turned out super cute, but Eddie grumbled so much about taking a picture that he can never admit that. 

They decided to do one more exhibit inside before heading outside for some playground time, and that led them to the ocean room – Buck’s favorite. The step inside and he hears wow from Jee, echoed by Eddie, and he beams at them. In this room there's a huge statue of Poseidon with buckets all around him, and there's water guns to aim to try and fill up the buckets. There's a water tornado station where you spin a wheel to try and see how fast your water tornado can spin. There's a wave making station where you push and pull on a lever to make waves that flow down the case of water. There's a water bridge station where you try to connect straws to get water from one bucket to another. And there's a fountain station, where you try to balance plastic balls on a stream of water shooting up from the floor. 

They work their way through all of the stations, and they stay relatively dry until the last one – Jee splashes through the fountains with the other kids, giggling in glee, and neither Buck nor Eddie have the heart to stop her. They're going outside next anyways, she’ll probably dry off, but he has extra clothes for her too that he could use now if he needed to. Buck can’t help himself – he runs through the fountains, splashing with her, chasing her through the spurts of water, both of them giggling. Eddie watches with a huge smile on his face, a tugging sensation in his chest as he watches Buck with his niece, thoughts involuntarily drifting to Buck with Chris, and the way Buck steps up for him in every way – he thinks about the way him and Chris have both been able to lean on Buck, together and separately, and Buck has just taken it , allowed them to do so, encouraged them to do so. He has always been there for them – literally since the end of his very first shift at the 118, Buck has had his back, just like he promised. Eddie has never felt like there’s a missing piece of their life or in their family, because Buck fills that role so effortlessly, so naturally, that he never had a reason to think about it. Buck really is the best friend a guy could ask for. 

After Buck and Jee are thoroughly soaked, they push through the doors and arrive on a huge playground. There are swings, a play set, a machine where you load plastic balls in and it will shoot it out the top, and a car scale. There's a black Chevy Impala resting on one side of the scale, and on the other, is a rope where you are supposed to pull and see if you can lift the car on the other side off the ground. Immediately Jee steers them to the car scale and Buck has a feeling he knows where this is going. 

“Uncle Buck, lift the car!” 

“Yeah, I’m sure we can move it a little. Come on, Eds,” Buck says, turning to rope when he gets stopped in his tracks. 

“No, uncle Buck, you can do it all by yourself, I know you can,” Jee encourages, huge smile on her face. And who is he to tell his niece that he won't even try . Eddie nods and gives him a thumbs up, flashing him a smile as well. Buck gives him a half shrug, and keeps walking to the rope. 

The shirt he's wearing is a little tight around his arms, and he wants to give himself the best chance he can, so he pushes his short sleeves up as much as he can – the rest of his shirt, still dripping wet, clings tightly to his body, but there isn’t much he can do about it. He takes a deep breath, then rubs his hands together before grabbing onto the rope. 

He gets himself into position, planting his feet shoulder width apart, bending his knees slightly, and getting a comfortable grip. He takes a deep breath and then pulls down on the rope as hard as he can. Jee is cheering Buck on in the corner, and Eddie knows he should too, but he is mesmerized, eyes drawn to and stuck on the bulging biceps at work in front of him. Buck’s muscles and tattoos are begging to be looked at, and Eddie is happy to oblige. The way his wet shirt is plastered against his chest and stomach is obscene , and Eddie can’t get enough.  Buck pulls and pulls on the rope, muscles flexing. 

Heat licks down his spine, and he shivers despite himself. His teeth dig into his bottom lip and he tries to move his eyes from Buck’s arms, but he literally can’t , and – oh my god. Is he getting turned on ? He can feel heat pooling in his gut, and that is jarring enough for his eyes to swing to something else – the car, the swings, the fucking sun, anything – and he takes a few deep breaths to calm down. He cannot be getting turned on – not here, not now – so he thinks about every horrible thing he can imagine until the sensation subsides. Why the hell is he getting worked up over Buck’s arms? He sees those arms all the time! He works with those arms, those arms are his partner . He can think of no explanation as to what just happened. 

When Jee starts squealing excitedly, he realizes that holy shit , Buck is actually lifting the car all on his own. Buck is grunting – which does not help Eddie’s situation, and he has to start humming to himself to drown out the noise – and manages to lift the car as high as it can go. He is just tickled pink, giggling and clapping, jumping up and down, and Eddie can't help but to chuckle and start clapping with her. 

Buck gently lowers the car back down into place, and wipes his brow sweat with the back of his hand. For reasons he could not even begin to pinpoint, Eddie starts salivating. Jee runs over to Buck, wrapping herself around his knees. 

“I knew you could do it, uncle Buck! You're the strongest person in the world ,” she says, looking up at him, smiling sweetly. Buck is not one to turn down a compliment like that, so he just reaches down and lifts her up, spinning her around, making her laugh. 

“Only because you were cheering me on so well.” 

“Can you push me on the swing?” Jee asks, as she wiggles, trying to get out of his grasp and he chuckles, nodding and letting her go. 

He turns to look at Eddie who is a little bit flushed, and looking anywhere but at him. Buck leans over, gently bumping their shoulders together. “You okay?” he asks. 

“Hm? Oh, yeah, fine,” Eddie replies, giving him a small smile, but not looking him in the eyes. Buck reaches out, hand clasping his shoulder, turning Eddie to face him. 

“Eddie, what’s the matter?” he asks, searching his face, trying and failing to catch Eddie's eyes. “Eds, look at me.” 

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut and sighs, tilting his head down, looking at the ground. “You look good. And if I look at you any more –” he breaks off and huffs. “So I can't look at you right now, sorry.”

Buck stifles his laughter, glow starting in his chest at the face that Eddie wants to watch him, and if they were alone, he would be. He's grinning, but trying to hide it, turning his own head away from Eddie. 

“Shut up,” Eddie mumbles. 

“I didn't say anything!” 

“Yeah, but you were thinking it. Plus, you have that look on your face.” 

“You aren't even looking at me,” Buck points out. 

“Don't have to. C’mon, I have to push a girl on a swing,” Eddie says, bumping his shoulder into Buck’s as they both turn and head to the swings. 

They spend a few more hours around the playground, and back inside going through more exhibits. They are just about to head out to their second super secret location, when something catches Jee's eye. 

“Uncle Buck, you have to do that, please, please, please,” she begs. Buck follows where she's pointing and his stomach drops. 

In the lobby, right in front of the doors they were about to leave through, there is a vaulted ceiling, showing a second floor loft space. What he didn't see when they walked in is that there's a thin wire connecting two platforms high up in the air, creating almost a bridge on the second floor that you can see right from the ground. But it's not just any bridge or wire – there's a unicycle connected to the wire.

They watch as a kid hops up on the bike and starts to pedal, pushing the unicycle across the wire as he laughs and pedals and his friends cheer for him. Of course Jee would want him to do that. 

“Why doesn't uncle Eddie do that one?” he asks, trying to pawn it off on Eddie who is looking at him with wide eyes. 

“But uncle Buck, I asked you first,” Jes says, lower lip jutting out in a pout. 

Buck knows – he knows his niece has him wrapped around her little finger, and he knows that he doesn't have to do this, that he can say no, but he just doesn't. He takes a deep breath, eyeing the contraption wearily. 

“Hope this thing is up to code,” he grumbles. Eddie chuckles at that, clapping him on the back. 

“You got this, B. It's just like riding a bike,” he offers, unhelpfully, and Buck shoots him a glare which makes him laugh. 

Eddie and Jee stand in the middle of the lobby as Buck makes his way up the stairs to the loading platform. He knows this thing is made for children, and that is has to be safe, that there isn't really a way to fall, that it’s just an illusion, but his brain is not able or willing to send that message to his body, because he feels like he is about to cycle to his death right here in the science center. He grips the hem of his shirt in his fingers, fidgeting with it nervously. 

He gets to the top right as the kid makes it to the other side, and is waiting, anxiety curdling uncomfortably in his gut, shifting his weight from foot to foot, breath coming quicker as they send the bike back. This is stupid – he’s a grown man, he knows how to ride a bike, he knows he isn’t going to fall, and yet he is terrified of getting on that thing. Being on a bike going nowhere in Pennsylvania isn’t exactly new to him, but maybe that's why he's having such a hard time. Yet another time he is trying so hard to get somewhere, only to end up in the same place, still scared to fall. Memories of his childhood flood his mind and his chest tightens. 

They tell him that it will take a minute to reset and to just wait there. He nods, and tries to give him a smile, but his chest feels so tight and his limbs are starting to feel tingly, so he's not sure that really came across. 

He's ready to lie his ass off to Jee about how he was too tall, they wouldn't let him on, unable to stomach telling her the truth – that he was too scared – even though he knows it's ridiculous and she would understand, that it might even be helpful for her. 

Buck is seconds away from turning around and heading back down the stairs when his eyes flit to Eddie, and sees him calmly watching where he is standing, holding hands with Jee, the little girl bouncing in excitement and giving him a thumbs up. His chest loosens a little bit, but his stomach plummets with the thought of disappointing her. Buck looks at Eddie again, and watches as he raises his free hand to his chest, and takes an exaggerated deep breath. He nods, and does it again, and Buck mirrors him, breathing along with his instructions. After a few big breaths, his limbs feel looser, more comfortable, normal, and the guys are calling him up for his turn. Eddie smiles, giving him a wink, and Jee cheers for him. 

Be brave. 

He puts the harness on with ease, gets double-checked by the worker, straps on his helmet, and the next thing he knows, he is balanced on a unicycle, being told he can go any time he wants. He risks another look down at Eddie, who has moved closer under the wire, beaming up at him. He huffs a quiet chuckle – half at how Eddie looks like he’s ready to catch Buck if he should fall, and half in disbelief that he’s really doing this. All the years he’s been coming here, and the many, many , hours he has spent in this very museum, he’s never gotten the courage to do this. But looking down at his best friend and his niece, he feels his nerves turn to excitement, and his body relaxes, allowing him to give them a bright smile and a salute as he begins to pedal. 

He makes it about halfway across before he looks down, and what should be a horrifying sight – practically levitating twelve feet in the air on a child’s sized fucking unicycle – brings him strength and comfort when he sees Eddie and Jee both following him along the wire, smiling hugely at him and clapping and cheering him along. He laughs, and pedals faster, speeding toward the end.

When he finally unclips from the harness, he notices Eddie and Jee both jumping up and down, cheering wildly for him, drawing the attention of everyone around. Buck flushes bright red, but can’t help but join them in the celebration, racing down the platform stairs and running to them, immediately jumping and cheering with them, ignoring the eyes of the entire room he can feel on his back. 

“Uncle Buck, you did it! You were so brave! See, I knew you know how to be brave!” Jee exclaims, reaching out and wrapping her tiny hand in Buck’s massive one. 

“Proud of you, baby. Good job!”

“Only because of my good luck charms,” Buck says, smiling at Jee and then at Eddie who is looking at him with such fond, soft brown eyes it makes Buck’s chest ache. He feels like time slows down, and he stays in that look longer than he feels is possible, just completely caught on his favorite eyes until he feels Jee’s free arm wrapping around his legs, shaking him out of his trance. 

“C’mon, let’s get out of here,” Buck says, grabbing Eddie’s hand again and pulling him and Jee toward the exit as they chant uncle Buck! all the way out the door. 

Buck leads them to a bench along the strip of grassy area outside the museum, and sits down, plopping Jee in his lap, and pulling Eddie down next to him, thighs pressed together. 

“What are we doing?” Eddie asks, looking at Buck, head tilted in confusion. 

“Calling Chris,” Buck says like it’s obvious, and Eddie’s chest floods with warmth at the knowledge that Buck is thinking about his kid just as much as he is, and knows that Buck misses him nearly as bad. 

With Jee on his right leg, he can’t reach his phone, so he slips his left arm behind Eddie’s back, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out Eddie’s phone, opening it with the passcode he has memorized. Eddie grumbles, trying to keep the smile off his face. “I could’ve handed that to you, you know.” 

Buck shrugs, grinning. “Where’s the fun in that?” he teases, bumping his shoulder into Eddie’s as he navigates to the facetime app, holding the phone up so all three of them fit in the little frame. 

He doesn’t have to scroll far, clicking Chris’ name at the top of the list. It rings a few times and then connects, his smiling face filling the screen. 

“Chris!” Jee and Buck exclaim at the same time. 

“Hey, guys. What are you doing?” 

Eddie sits back and listens as Buck launches into the details of their day at the museum, telling him about all the exhibits they went to, the things he knows will get a reaction out of Chris – and it does. Chris asks him questions, Jee chiming in with her stories. Eddie feels a lump rising in his throat, and swallows around it thickly. 

Eddie turns his head, watching as Buck talks animatedly to his son, and he realizes he never wants to leave this moment. He could live here forever, pressed up next to Buck, talking to his kid and his niece, who are both giggling like maniacs as Buck tells them the story of how he singlehandedly lifted a car. The way he interacts with them so easily, the fact that Chris loves him so much , and always has – Buck has been one of his favorite people from the very second they met – the way he is so kind, caring, gentle, loving . It makes Eddie’s heart feel like it is glowing golden, and he takes a peek down just to make sure it’s not visible from the outside. 

Eddie feels that locked box inside him shaking, about to explode, and – 

“Dad!” Chris’ voice pulls him out of his thoughts, and his attention turns back to the phone. “Did you hear me?” 

“Hm?” 

Chris rolls his eyes. “I said, can we come back? That place sounds so cool!” 

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, yeah, of course we can,” he agrees, and Buck beams at him, absolutely lighting him up from his hair to his toes. Eddie, once again, sits and listens as Buck finishes describing their day at the center. 

They wrap up when Chris has an activity to get to, saying their goodbyes. “I’ll text you, dad, love you guys!” he says, eyeing Eddie oddly before waving at them all and hanging up. 

Buck hands the phone back to Eddie, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Eds, sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer to talk to him. Okay, now we can go to our next spot. Ready, princess?” he asks, setting Jee on her feet and standing up with her, heading toward the parking lot. 

Eddie feels stuck, rooted to the bench. He feels on edge, and he is scared to move, not wanting to break whatever moment he’s in, not knowing if he’s ready to face whatever is coming next – he doesn’t know how he knows that something is coming, he just does . He wants to stave it off as long as possible, live in this blissful bubble as long as he can. However, he doesn’t have much of a say in the matter. 

It happens shortly after the two of them stand up – as he watches Buck walking away with Jee, knowing he needs to get up with them, but not being able to. Time feels so slow, stretching every second longer than physically possible, the two of them about five feet away from him when Buck turns to look at him from over his shoulder, beautiful smile flashing brighter than the sun, brilliant blue eyes connecting with his, the air feeling like it’s crackling with electricity between them. As soon as their eyes meet, he feels it, and he’s thankful he is already sitting because he is confident that this would have made his knees buckle. 

The box explodes. 

And he feels. Feels things he has been ignoring for years, feels things he didn’t even know existed. It crashes into him like a wave, cresting and breaking over his head, flowing through his body. He feels like he’s drowning, like he can’t breathe, trying to figure out what is what from the dam that just released inside of him, simply overwhelmed in every sense of the word. 

His breath is choked, the lump of emotion in his throat back and bigger than before, nearly cutting off his air supply as he struggles to wade through the mess in his head and his heart. 

And in another wave of clarity, suddenly he can breathe again, because – 

Oh. 

Oh. 

He’s in love with Buck. 

Chapter Text

He’s in love with Buck. 

Of course he’s in love with Buck. 

Time seems to slow down, the clouds opening up and splashing a ray of beautiful golden sunlight across Buck as he smiles at Jee, and Eddie feels his heart lurch in his chest – yep. There’s no denying it. He is unbelievably, unconditionally, irrevocably in love with Evan Buckley. 

He feels like his missing puzzle piece just clicked for him in his brain and everything makes sense – his whole life has been building to this moment, this monumental fact that has just been waiting to be discovered. He sees himself with a clarity he’s never had the privilege of having before, and everything makes sense. He somehow comes together and falls apart simultaneously. 

He’s in love with Buck. And he’s gay. 

His world tilts on its axis – everything he thought he knew, changed in an instant. But at the center of it all – now, and always, next to Chris – is Buck. Buck is the tether keeping him grounded, keeping his feet on earth, stronger than the gravity on any moon or planet in the universe. Buck is the force pulling him into orbit. Buck is the air in his lungs, the blood in his veins. Eddie’s heart beats for him – for him and Chris – and he can feel it now in every thumpthump thumpthump in his chest. Elated doesn’t even begin to describe it. 

Now that the box has disappeared, and the knowledge that he’s in love with Buck has hit his brain like a train, he feels like a bit of an idiot for not realizing it sooner. Looking back, he isn’t quite sure how he missed it – that conversation with Father Brian stands out as particularly damning evidence, realizing now that joy also equates to Buck – because of course it does. Not just Buck as his best friend. But allowing himself to love Buck the way he was made to.

This also explains why things never worked with Shannon, Ana or Marisol, despite his best efforts. If he was ever going to end up with a woman, it would have been Shannon. She really was his closest friend, and they made a beautiful son together. He had always had lingering questions about why it never worked out with her, why he could never make it work out with her, and this causes those questions to dissipate, realizing that it was never in the cards for them. 

Years of repression forced the walls around his heart to be tall and thick, and in an instant, they come crumbling down, all because Buck just had to talk to his kid about the science exhibits, finally overstuffing his secret box and causing him to fall into semi-crisis outside of the science center. He feels like he’s breathing for the first time, like every weight has been lifted off his shoulder, like he is suddenly himself, like he is seeing himself and his life for the first time ever. He also feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack. 

There is a storm of emotions swirling inside him – acceptance, fear, understanding, anxiety. But, the fear and anxiety isn’t coming from him being gay, or even really about him being in love with Buck – Buck is incredible, there is nobody else on the planet it could be, so of course it’s Buck. What he is actually nervous about is where to go next, and how this is going to change things for him – what Chris is going to think, what it means for his relationship with Buck. If Buck feels the same. 

Oh, god. How is he supposed to know if Buck feels the same? There’s no way he does, right? How could someone like Buck possibly have feelings for someone like him? What if he tells Buck and Buck hates him for it, what if it ruins their friendship forever? What if he tells Buck how he feels and Buck doesn’t feel the same? Of course he won’t feel the same –  he has had every opportunity Buck could get anyone in the whole world, why would he want Eddie. 

The risk of losing Buck sends a shock to his system, and he feels the weight of the world come crashing back, making him feel like he’s crushed under the earth once again, struggling to breathe, unable to make sense of what is up and what is down. Because if Buck felt the same at all, he would have said something. If Buck wanted him, he would have gone for him and not Tommy. He said nothing changed between them, and unfortunately, it seems like he meant it more than he knew. 

Just because Buck is bi doesn’t mean he wants Eddie – two men who like men can just be friends after all. He comes crashing back down to the earth’s surface, rudely shoved back in his body at that realization – he loves Buck, but Buck doesn’t love him back. Rejection lashes at him, trying to steal the air from his lungs, but he breathes through it. He swallows the emotions rising, forming a lump in his throat. It’s fine. He’ll be okay. He still has Buck – his best friend, one of his favorite people in the world. And while it’s not how he wants Buck, he’d rather have him as a best friend than not at all. And he still has the rest of this week with Buck to get it out of his system. He’s going to use that to his advantage so once they go home, they can just be them again. 

The roller coaster of emotions and realizations he just went on in literally 20 seconds left him woozy, trying to get a grasp on reality, unsure which way is up and which way is down – the sight of Buck walking in front of him keeping him grounded, as he always does. 

Eddie wants to sit here and finally unpack the box he has been stuffing full his whole entire life – wants to analyze every facet of his friendship with Buck and figure out exactly when this happened and how he could have gone this long without knowing – but he’s pulled from his thoughts by a voice. Buck’s voice. 

“Eds, you okay?” he asks softly, and Eddie realizes that not only has Buck had to turn around and come back for him, but he is actually crouching down in front of him where he still sits on the bench, eyes roaming across his face and down his body as if checking for signs of injury. Eddie’s brain distantly makes the connection that he had probably called his name several times while Eddie was lost in his own mind that went unanswered, and immediately feels bad for making him worry. 

He tries to push his thoughts away, grounding himself in Buck’s eyes, trying to ignore the pang he feels at being the one to cause the very evident concern he dings there. His brain feels foggy, simply overwhelmed with emotion. 

“Eddie,” Buck says again, reaching up a hand to cup his cheek gently. 

Eddie finally finds his voice, the primal need to reassure Buck that he is okay strong enough to cut through the haze in his mind. 

“Yeah, I’m – sorry, ‘m fine,” he says. 

“What happened?” Buck asks, thumb rubbing across his cheek. 

“I, um. Later? Can-can I tell you later?” Eddie asks, and Buck nods, giving him a small smile. 

“Yeah, sure. Are you hurt?” he says, confusion in his voice, worry for Eddie clouding his reason, knowing Eddie wasn’t hurt, but needing to ask anyway, running his eyes over Eddie as if to check for outward injury. 

Eddie shakes his head. “No, sorry, just got lost in my brain a little bit, I’m not hurt.” 

Buck hums, and then grabs his hands, helping him to his feet, giving his forehead a kiss once he’s standing. Buck drops one of his hands to pick Jee’s back up and Eddie gives him three gentle squeezes which are returned, making him smile. 

Buck leads them to the car, buckling Jee in dutifully and dodging her questions about what’s next expertly. When he slides in the driver’s seat, he checks on Eddie again, looking over at him and raising his eyebrow in a silent question, only buckling up and starting the car once Eddie has given him a nod. 

Buck reaches over freely and grabs Eddie’s hand again, resting them on the center console, thumb stroking languidly over the back of his hand, sending warm sparks shooting up Eddie’s spine. Buck and Jee talk as Buck navigates them to their next location as Eddie tries not to get sucked into his own thoughts, tries to stay present in the moment – not wanting to miss any time with two people he loves immensely, but also not wanting to be so caught up in the flood coursing through his mind that he misses something and freaks Buck out again. 

He can feel Buck giving him glances every so often as they drive – can feel the familiar warmth as his gaze encompasses him – but he can’t bring himself to look back, not sure he can handle a second point of connection right now. They pull into a small parking lot at the base of a hill, and Eddie does everything he can to shake himself out the stupor Buck just put him in. Buck glances in the backseat, using a mirror to see into Jee’s seat, and watches for a second as she uses her stuffed animals as puppets to create a story, completely content. Eddie tries to detangle his hand so he can unbuckle his seat, but Buck doesn’t let him, holding onto his fingers until Eddie looks at him. 

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks softly, eyes roaming over Eddie’s face, trying to read his mind and figure out what is going on, before settling on his beautiful brown eyes, where he attempts to decipher the emotions he sees swirling in there, but is unsuccessful. 

Eddie’s gaze drops when he can’t bear looking at Buck any longer, and he feels Buck’s free hand cup his cheek. He leans unconsciously into the touch, essentially nuzzling into Buck’s palm, and hears him huff out a chuckle. 

“‘M fine,” he mutters. 

“Later, yeah?” Buck checks. 

Eddie just nods, warmth blooming in his chest – he hates that he’s making Buck so concerned, wishes he could snap out of it better for him, but when your center of gravity changes like that, it’s a little bit hard to not be shell-shocked – but he feels loved, cared for…seen. And that just solidifies that his revelation is correct. He loves Buck and has for a long time. He wonders briefly when he fell in love with Buck, but doesn’t have the time to give it the thought it needs at the moment. 

“Are you ready? Or do you need a minute?” 

Eddie takes a deep breath, then drags his eyes back up to Buck’s, trying to give him a small smile for reassurance, and he sees some of the worry clear from the brilliant blue eyes holding his gaze. “I think I’m ready now.” If only Buck knew how true those words were. 

“Okay,” Buck whispers, sliding the hand that was on his cheek around to the back of his neck, Buck uses his grip to pull Eddie closer, pressing their foreheads together, taking a deep breath, the closeness centering them both. 

They both let their eyes slide shut, just breathing each other in for a moment. Then, Eddie pulls back, placing a tender kiss to Buck’s perfectly pink birthmark with a quiet, muffled mwah. Buck’s eyes flutter open, looking at him through his lashes, and Eddie’s breath hitches in his throat. 

Buck can’t help himself – his eyes flick down to Eddie’s lips without his permission, noting how they are slightly parted, breath pushing through jaggedly. He reconnects with Eddie’s honey orbs, seeing something floating beneath the surface, cheeks flushed slightly. The next thing he knows, his eyes are back on Eddie’s lips, watching the tip of his tongue glide along his bottom lip, and he really can’t help himself. 

He knows he can’t kiss Eddie – that is the one boundary they have yet to cross, and it needs to stay that way, for Eddie’s sake… well… if he’s being honest, it’s for his sake – kissing Eddie is all he has been able to think about all week, the desire burning under his skin like a live wire, always there, his constant companion. But he can’t. He refuses to open that door – he doesn’t know if he will ever be able to close it if he does. It’s not worth it. He’s lived this long pretending like the door isn’t even there, he’s used to it. Things are better like this, they’re good like this. That can be enough – it has to be. 

He can’t kiss Eddie, but he can get close, and it’ll be fine, right? Probably. His body moves on its own accord, nose bumping against Eddie’s as he leans forward. Eddie’s eyebrows scrunch, and his breath hitches, but he doesn’t pull away, and Buck takes that as a win. He can feel Eddie’s breath falling onto his lips, one of his favorite sensations – one that drives him absolutely insane. He’s going to miss it when they go home. 

He tilts his head, leaning in further, and notices Eddie starts holding his breath. He swerves at the last second, placing a kiss at the corner of Eddie’s mouth, the corner of their lips almost touching, but not overlapping. A rush of air comes from Eddie’s mouth, hitting Buck’s cheek as Eddie exhales. A sigh of relief most likely – Buck pushed too far, got too close. He knows better, but he couldn’t help himself, lost control for a moment – that won’t, can’t, happen again. Eddie is here doing him a favor, doing more for him than he can even comprehend. And this is how he says thank you? No, Buck is better than this. He needs to get a grip. 

He pulls back and opens the car door without looking back, still hearing Eddie’s deep breaths behind him as he hops out of the car, embarrassment burning in his chest. He blinks rapidly, taking a shaky breath of his own before opening the back door, smiling at Jee before he realizes she’s asleep. 

“Jee,” he whispers softly, placing a large palm on her shoulder and shaking her gently. 

She blinks her eyes open, squinting against the light flooding around Buck and into the car. “Uncle Buck, are we home?” 

Buck chuckles, and shakes his head. “Nope, not yet, princess. We’re here to eat lunch! Are you hungry?” 

Jee nods quickly, reaching down to undo her safety belts in her carseat. “I’m starving uncle Buck, let’s go!” 

Buck laughs, ducking his head into the car and helping her weave her arms out of the straps. His eyes lift to Eddie, only to find his seat empty. He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and gives Jee his hands to help her down and out of the car. Once both her feet are safely on the floor, they shut the door together, and she grips one of his massive hands with her tiny one, and they finally turn to see Eddie standing there, watching them fondly, as he has been doing a lot lately the past few days. The sight makes his chest hurt – seeing that soft look on Eddie’s face, silhouette outlined in golden sunlight, making his brown hair glow, eyes shine bright. Fuck, he’s beautiful. Buck is frozen, eyes trying to take in the masterpiece that is Edmundo Diaz in the sun, when he feels Jee tugging on his hand, shaking him out of the moment. 

That can’t happen anymore. He can’t think of how pretty Eddie is. He needs to get back in the mindset that this is his best friend, not his boyfriend – regardless of what Eddie has told him. He needs to do this to protect the both of them. He knows Eddie doesn’t want to lose this friendship any more than he does, and he needs to do everything in his power to preserve that. Whatever shared delusion they’ve been living in since they got here has to end. 

Eddie tilts his head at Buck in a silent check-in, and Buck gives him a smile, shaking his head. 

“Food truck is up there,” he says, pointing up the hill. Eddie and Jee follow his finger, looking at the hill for the first time. Sitting atop the hill are three huge bunny statues – 25 feet tall according to a nearby plaque – holding hands in a circle, looking like they are in the middle of a dance. “I used to come here all the time when I was growing up. Any time my house got to be too much, I’d hop on a bike and come here. This place honestly feels more like home to me than that house does. It’s like my own little slice of heaven here – Maddie and I always had so much fun here,” he says, mostly to Eddie, as he grabs his wallet out of the center console. 

Jee squeals, pearls of laughter splitting the air. “Bunnies! Come on uncle Eddie let’s go,” she says, dragging Buck over to Eddie to grab his hand too, and then marching them to the hill. 

Eddie is a little confused on how there could be a food truck up there, since, from this angle, it appears to only be the bunnies nestled atop the hill, but he is not one to question Buck, and follows Jee steadfastly, stealing glances at Buck as they work their way up, smile tugging at his lips every time their eyes meet. 

They finally crest the peak of the hill, and see a large expanse of land – far larger than Eddie had pictured. In the center are the large bunnies they saw from the bottom, and in the center of the bunny circle is a splashpad, fountains spraying water in varying rhythms from the floor, as well as randomized sprinklers sprouting from the bunnies themselves. 

Off to one side is, indeed, a pair of food trucks, along with several picnic tables with umbrellas. On the other side is a playground and set of swings. Jee’s eyes are like stars, just absolutely lit up and bouncing from area to area, trying to take it all in, grin plastered on her face. 

“Let’s get something to eat first, then we can play, okay?” Buck says, leading them toward the food stations. 

Jee starts to protest, pulling back on Buck’s hand to slow him down, but then a loud growl hits the air, and all three of them pause, and burst out laughing. Jee allows herself to be pulled to get in line, and Buck silently thanks the universe for allowing that process to be easy, knowing how difficult it can be to keep her from running immediately to the playground and how much harder it is to get her to leave the playground once she’s started. 

They get in line, Jee standing in front of him, bouncing off his long legs, swinging his arms around like a fidget toy while they wait. Buck’s scanning the menu, trying to figure out what to get for himself and for Jee, when he feels Eddie step up beside him, sliding an arm around his back, resting his chin on Buck’s shoulder. 

“Having a good day so far?” he asks quietly. 

Buck leans back into him, resting the side of his head on top of Eddie’s for a brief moment before straightening again. “Yeah, the best since we got here. I needed this. Are you?”

“I always do when I’m with you,” Eddie says softly, placing a kiss on his cheek and pulling away, just leaving a hand on the small of his back as they work their way through the line. Buck has to take a deep breath and remind himself that this is not Eddie – not his Eddie, anyway, this is Boyfriend Eddie, just part of the role he’s playing. A temporary role. A role that Buck is starting to wish had never come to fruition, because he is beginning to feel less and less like he will survive this in one piece. He can do this. He can keep them separate. Eddie and Boyfriend Eddie. He can. 

He can’t. 

They get up to the front of the line, and as he opens his mouth to order, Eddie greets the concession worker with a warm smile, and perfectly orders a meal for each of them, down to the drinks, without even having to ask what he wants. Not only that, but when Buck fumbles for his wallet in his back pocket, Eddie waves his hand, dismissing the idea of Buck paying without even looking back at him. How Eddie knew he was reaching for his wallet in the first place, he has no idea. He feels…exposed, but in the very best way. 

He feels seen. Nobody has ever seen him, or wanted to see him. He has always been overlooked, ignored, on the back burner. The only people who have ever taken the time to see him as someone worthy of knowing had been Maddie and Bobby – two of the most important people in his life that have helped shape who he is, who have helped him grow in ways he never thought possible. 

And then he met Eddie… and Eddie didn’t make him feel like he had to fight to be in the spotlight, he just was. He was nearly immediately caught in the warmth of Eddie’s orbit, and he never wanted to leave, wanted to make himself at home as close to Eddie as he could get. Eddie saw him with all his flaws – right off the bat, too, he shouldn’t have been given a chance given how he started off with Eddie – and wanted him anyway. Well, wanted to be his friend at least. Eddie knows him, inside and out. Knows him and chooses to spend time with him, chooses to allow him into his life and Chris’ life. He’s never been chosen like that before. And the simple reminder of that when Eddie knew exactly what he wanted and what their niece wanted without asking nearly knocked him off his feet – not because he didn’t have to order for himself. But because he is reminded that he is known. It hits him so deep he can feel the box inside him rattling. Nothing would be easier than finally letting go, letting his deepest inner desires flood his body, but he can’t – no, he won’t – do that. Not to himself, not to Eddie, not to Chris. But just because it has to be this way doesn’t mean it’s easy. 

He clears his throat, and tears start to prick the back of his eyes. What the fuck is happening to him right now? It’s like Eddie has a sixth “Buck sense”, because, still without even glancing his way, he’s reaching back and sliding his hand into Buck’s, giving him three light squeezes as he finishes up with the cashier. Eddie pulls him and Jee off to the side to wait for their order, and he finally spins around to face Buck, hand reaching up to cup his cheek. 

“Buck?” he asks, concern filling his eyes, which makes Buck’s tears well even more. He clears his throat again, shaking his head. 

“I’m good, sorry.” 

Eddie nods once. “Later?” 

Buck chuckles and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, later. Promise.” 

Eddie crouches down to talk to Jee while Buck takes a minute to compose himself. He takes a few deep breaths and rubs the heels of his palms across his eyes. 

To say he’s embarrassed at how hard that crashed into him would be an understatement, and he can feel the blush creeping across his cheeks. Who breaks down because someone else orders for them? It’s ridiculous, and he knows it, but he couldn’t help himself – the emotions were breaking free of him without his permission, and he had to put every ounce of energy into keeping the lid on that box, he didn’t have the ability to keep all his feelings under wraps. Just the important ones. 

Once he feels stable, once he knows he has his emotions under control, his entire body relaxes. Knowing he isn’t going to blow up this whole situation washes a sense of calm over him. It was a fluke freak out. Bound to happen to anyone under the amounts of pressure he has been recently. It doesn’t mean anything. 

Eddie glances up at Buck from his crouched position, brown eyes blinking up at him through thick, dark lashes, and Buck feels like he can’t breathe all over again. He is saved by the bell – literally – as Eddie’s name is called out signaling that their food is ready. 

“I got it,” Buck says as he is already moving up to the stand. He grabs their tray of food, some condiments, silverware and napkins before turning around to see Eddie and Jee moving to an open picnic table. Buck follows them, long legs getting him to the table at the same time as them He sets the tray down in the middle, scooping Jee up making her squeal. He sets her down on one of the benches, putting her food in front of her, and grabs his own plate, settling down next to her. 

Eddie sits on the bench across from them, and they both listen intently as Jee tells them about her new favorite Clifford book – Clifford the Firehouse Dog, because it reminds her of her uncle Buck, which Eddie found absolutely hilarious – as they eat their lunch. By the time they’re finished, Jee is practically vibrating with excitement, shaking in her seat waiting to be set free on the playground she’s been eyeing for the past hour. 

“Alright, let’s go. Can’t you see the girl is dying here?” Eddie laughs as he gathers up their trash. Buck and Jee look at each other with matching grins, and at the same time, get up from the table and run across the open space to the swings. Jee might be small, but she’s fast, and Buck actually does have to put in some effort to keep up with her despite the fact that his legs are literally taller than she is. He doesn’t even attempt to understand the physics behind that, just runs with his niece, wind flowing through their hair, sun shining down on them. Carefree. Besides the times he’s been…alone with Eddie, this is the lightest he has felt since they landed here. He got to talk to Chris – explaining his favorite science exhibits to the only person other person he knows who cares about them the way he does healed part of him, he feels certain – he’s getting to be at his favorite park with his favorite niece and best friend, he gets to eat at his favorite dinner place later, and to top it all off, he got out of a whole day with his parents. It’s a win-win for him in the truest sense of the phrase. 

Jee beats him to the swingset, getting on a swing on her belly with her arms out in front of her, flying like superman as Buck laughs. 

“Uncle Buck, can you push me?” she asks, plopping down on the swing and grabbing the chains, pumping her legs out in front of her even though she doesn’t move. “Of course. Medium or high today?” 

“High, of course!” 

Buck gets behind her, pulling the swing up, up, up and then letting go, Jee’s giggles sound like music to his ears. Every time she swoops back, Buck gives her a gentle push, adding to her momentum. 

“Higher, uncle Buck, higher!” 

“Yeah, uncle Buck, give it some elbow grease,” Eddie teases, bumping into his shoulder as he joins them, picnic table sufficiently cleared. 

Buck gives him a look. “Be my guest, uncle Eddie,” he says, flourishing a hand in Jee’s direction, taking a step to the side. 

Eddie shakes his head. “No, no, you’re doing a great job.” Buck can’t help the blush that creeps across his cheeks at the word and he smiles to himself, head dipping down to face the ground. In his distraction, he forgets to give Jee a push, and he hears a small huff, which makes him chuckle. 

Jee tries to swivel her head back as she starts to go forward again without receiving a push from either of them. The next time she swings back at them, Buck and Eddie both reach out a hand, fingers overlapping on her back as they get her back up to a satisfying height. 

“Looks good on you,” Eddie says, and Buck can hear the smile in his voice without even turning to see it. However, he can’t help himself, eyes flicking over to Eddie without thinking, needing to see it for himself. The sight nearly steals the breath out of his lungs. Eddie has stepped to the side, leaning against the swing’s structure, arms crossed. Buck has to remember that Jee’s safety is in his hands to be able to rip his eyes away, gaze magnetically drawn to the way the corners of his eyes crinkle, the way his cheeks blush, his little dimple, how shirt stretches over his chest and arms. 

“What does?” Buck asks, head tilting to the side, even though he’s back looking at Jee. 

“Can tell you feel better. Happier. It looks good on you,” he replies, pushing off the swing set, and coming to stand behind Buck, hands landing on his hips, chin on his shoulder. Buck practically melts into him, leaning back against his chest comfortably once again. 

“Thanks to you,” Buck says softly, continuing to push Jee on the swing. Eddie places a kiss on his shoulder, warmth from Eddie’s lips seeping to his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. 

“Anything for you, mi sol.” He gives Buck’s waist a squeeze, then decides to back off, knowing that being this close to Buck is only going to lead to distraction for the both of them. 

Eddie is back leaning on the post, watching them with a small smile, when Jee finally turns around, asking to get down so she can go climb on the playset. Buck brings her to a stop and she hops off, running off ahead of them as they follow, shoulders bumping together as they make their way to some benches. 

They’re almost all the way to the bench, Jee already climbing up the stairs to the big slide, when someone steps in their path. It’s an older woman, and she’s smiling sweetly at them. 

“Sorry to interrupt, I just had to come tell you that I think you two have a beautiful family,” she says, gesturing to them and then over her shoulder where Jee is now helping another kid gather the courage to go down the slide. 

Buck feels himself freeze, ice and fire both somehow dancing down his spine. He’s rooted to the spot, mind racing and blank simultaneously – if he had the capacity to think harder, he would wonder how that is possible, but that can be a question for further down the road when this moment inevitably keeps him up at night. Right now he can’t even focus enough to figure out why he’s feeling this way, the only thing he can do is panic. Well, panic, and, unfortunately, speak. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Eddie smile and open his mouth to respond – probably to say thank you and move on. An eerie sense of deja vu slams into Buck and he is reminded of something that happened years ago when he took Chris to see Santa with Eddie. He recalls an elf coming up and saying something extremely similar to which he just responded thanks, and – for reasons unknown, or unwilling to acknowledge – that feels like an unacceptable answer this time. It feels too real. Too real and too impossible – so impossible his stomach turns. He can’t explain it, and he can’t stop it. The words are pouring out of him before he can even process the fact that he’s talking. 

“Oh, uh, we-we aren’t– t-that’s my niece!” He says, pointing in Jee’s direction. “A-and this is my best friend, Eddie. We’re here for a wedding, we’re actually from LA. Well, I’m from here, but I live in LA. He’s from Texas. I didn’t really want to come, but everything is better with Eddie, so he came with me – talk about a real cowboy hero,” he rambles nervously, faltering when he glances in Eddie’s direction, unable to even meet his eyes. He hears Eddie clear his throat, but unfortunately, that doesn’t even pull him from whatever trance he is in right now. “He actually had his own kid back home, single dad, just the-the best guy you’ll ever meet, a-and I’m-I’m just, um, well I’m Buck,” he finishes lamely. 

He watches the woman’s smile falter, looking back and forth between the two of them. “Oh! Well. Cute niece. Have a great day,” she says, waving and giving them an odd look as she walks away. 

Buck watches her until he hears Eddie clear his throat next to him again. His gaze slides to Eddie as Eddie looks over at the playground to check on Jee, and then his eyes slide closed as he feels Eddie move to stand in front of him. 

“Buck,” he says softly. 

Buck looks up at him, and his mouth opens, but no sound comes out, and his head drops. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, but what happened? It’s like you had verbal diarrhea.”

“I couldn’t stop, it’s like I got possessed.” 

Eddie starts laughing. 

“It’s not funny, Eddie! That was embarrassing,” Buck whines, elbowing Eddie in the ribs which makes him laugh even harder. 

“C’mon, man, that was funny. Why didn’t you just say thank you?”

“Well, because like we aren’t–” 

“Buck,” Eddie cuts him off, reaching up a hand and cupping his cheek. “What did I say?” 

Buck tilts his head, unintentionally leaning further into Eddie’s palm, eyebrows scrunching in confusion. Eddie’s heart is melting, feeling like he has nearly his whole world literally in his hands. 

“About what?” Buck questions. 

“About this whole thing between us,” he explains, gesturing between them with his free hand. 

He watches as Buck visibly swallows, a faint gulping sound hitting his ears, and he does his best to hold back his smile, needing to convey to Buck that he is, in fact, serious about this. 

“Um, like, that y-you…” he trails off, and Eddie’s eyes are drawn downward as Buck’s pink tongue darts out and wets his equally pink lips, leaving them with a slight spit sheen that has Eddie’s stomach doing flips. 

“Say it.” 

“That you’re my boyfriend?” he answers, hesitant, unsure that’s what he wants to hear, eyes darting over Eddie’s shoulder. 

Eddie slides his hand on Buck’s cheek down to his neck, using his thumb on Buck’s jaw to tilt his head so they are locking eyes again, finally letting his smile show on the corners of his lips. “That’s right. I thought you were a good boy for me, Buck.” 

“I-I am, I am.” 

“Good boys don’t lie. Did you lie to that woman?” 

Buck breaks eye contact again, teeth clamping onto his bottom lip. “Yes,” he whispers. 

“Then you can’t be a good boy, can you?” Eddie taunts, ducking his head to get back in Buck’s gaze – his hungry eyes keep Buck captivated, rooted to the spot, helpless, putty in Eddie’s hands. 

“No, I, Eds come on, i-it was an accident.” 

“Nuh uh, I don’t think so. If you’re going to act like a brat, I’m going to have to treat you like a brat. I think you just need a refresher later, don’t you baby?” Eddie asks softly, warm brown eyes lighting Buck up. 

All Buck can do is nod, concerned that his ability to speak is out the window, but Eddie just chuckles darkly. “No, what do you say, B?” 

“Yes, sir,” Buck whispers, tongue wetting his, suddenly incredibly dry, lips again. 

Satisfaction rolls over Eddie, and he gives Buck a smile, pulling him in with the hand still resting on his neck, pressing a kiss to his now flushed birthmark. 

“Good boy. Come on, let’s go, we have playing to do.” 

Eddie walks away, heading to the playground as Buck stares after him, mouth gaping. Eddie stops a few feet behind Jee, turning around over his shoulder to see Buck standing in the same spot, frozen, and his head tips back in laughter. The sight shakes Buck out of his stupor, and he follows Eddie’s path. They follow Jee around the playground, following her every command down to the letter. 

Once she’s done exploring the playset, she grabs them both by the hand and leads them to the main event – the fountains in the center of the bunny statues. She stands at the base of one of the statues, looking up at it in awe. 

“Uncle Buck, this bunny is even taller than you!” she exclaims. 

“Only by a little bit, though, right?” Buck says, standing up tall with his back against the statue, flattening his hand on top of his head, and holding it there as he steps out to mark his height against the giant creature. 

Jee squints up at him, then side eyes Eddie, who is pursing his lips to keep his laughter in. “Uhhhh, sure, uncle Buck. Just a little,” she says, grabbing Buck’s free hand and pulling him around the statue. 

Buck and Eddie are both still laughing as Jee walks them through the first fountain, the cold water making her squeal. They splash and run and dance through the sprouting water until the sun starts to go down, rapidly approaching dinner time. All three of them have the biggest smiles on their faces, cheeks hurting with how much they’ve been laughing and grinning today. They kept playing in the fountain until Jee started to shiver. She’s entirely soaked, whereas Buck and Eddie both only had water coming up to their thighs, top half remaining dry. 

“I’m gonna go get the towels and our other clothes from the car. Meet me by the bathrooms?” Buck says, pointing at the small building off to the side. Eddie nods, grabbing Jee’s hand and heading that direction as Buck turns to go to the parking lot. 

He makes it about halfway down the hill before it hits him. He’d been having so much fun, and had been so distracted, that he didn’t even notice until it nearly knocked him off his feet – literally. His leg hurts. Bad. It’s like all the pain from the day was being saved up, just to run into him at this very moment, barreling into him like a train. A shooting pain starts up his leg, muscles cramping, screaming at him as he heads downhill. He’s limping by the time he gets to the car, powering through as he grabs the backpack he packed with towels and clothes for him and Eddie, and then he plops in the back seat for a break while he reaches for Jee’s bag that had tumbled to the floor. 

He reaches down with one hand, squeezing at his calf, trying to get some reprieve, but after a minute of working at it, he knows it’s futile. His head falls back against the headrest, frustrated sigh leaving his lips. Sliding out of the car, he starts back uphill, heading toward the bathrooms. He allows himself to limp until he crests the top of the hill. After that, he has the potential to be in Eddie’s eyesight, so he hides it, grinding his teeth through the pain, but maintaining an even pace. He walks up to the bathroom, practically panting, but gives them a smile anyway. 

Eddie gives him a look that he dutifully ignores, and swings open the door to the family bathroom. Buck grabs Jee’s hand and heads inside, and Eddie closes and locks the door behind him after he steps in. Buck hadn’t expected Eddie to step in with him, and freezes for a moment as he crouches down and starts to unzip the backpack. He glances up and sees Eddie watching him carefully, and he quickly grabs Eddie’s clothes and holds them out for him. 

Buck then grabs the towel, wrapping it around a shivering Jee, rubbing up and down her arms to try to keep her warm and dry her off a little. Buck opens her backpack and pulls out her clothes, looking around for a place to lay them down – she can get dressed on her own, but she needs the clothes laid out for her to know which way to pick them up so they’re not backwards. The floor is damp, and quite frankly fucking disgusting, and he’s not willing to put her clothes on the dirty tile. He’s about to just hand them to her piece by piece to help her when he sees a flash of fabric out of the corner of his eyes. When he looks over, he sees that Eddie has literally pulled the shirt off his back and laid it down so he can put Jee’s clothes out for her. 

His movements falter, and he looks up at Eddie from where he’s kneeling on the floor with something akin to awe shining in his brilliant blue eyes. “Thanks,” he whispers. 

Eddie just shrugs. “No problem.” 

Buck lays out the rest of the clothes for Jee as Eddie goes to the men’s restroom to change his own clothes. Once Jee is changed, he picks up her wet clothes and wrings them out, then folds them and places them and the towel in their respective backpacks. He helps Jee wash her hands, and then they head outside to meet Eddie who is waiting for them in a nice, dry outfit. Buck holds his hand out for Eddie’s wet clothes, shoves them in the bag, and heads to the bathroom so that he can change. 

Jee is holding Eddie’s hand, spinning around like a princess while they wait for Buck. “Did you have a good day today, Jee?” 

“I had the best day today!” she says, jumping up and throwing her arms up, making Eddie laugh. “Uncle Eddie?” 

“What’s up, princess?” 

“Are you and uncle Buck going to live together when we go home like you do here?” 

Eddie falters, caught a bit off guard by the question, unable to look at Buck for help and guidance like he normally does when he doesn’t know what to do. “Um, no, uncle Buck is still going to have his loft, and I’m still going to have my house with Chris. Once we go back home, everything will go back to normal,” he explains. 

“What if I don’t want it to go back to normal?” 

“You wouldn’t be the only one,” he says softly, crouching down in front of her. “Why don’t you want it to be normal?”

“Because here you’re always together. At home you’re together a lot, but not always. Sometimes I miss you, uncle Eddie,” Jee says, bottom lip jutting out in a pout, giving Eddie her best puppy dog eyes. He knows this because he has seen this exact look work countless times on Buck –  something he has always made fun of him for, but now being on the receiving end of it, he totally understands why Buck breaks like a toothpick. 

“I miss you, too, kid, all the time. But uncle Buck and I can’t live together when we go home,” Eddie says. The words burn a little bit on their way out, and he can tell they fall flat from his lips – thankfully, his audience doesn’t notice. 

She responds with every child’s favorite word: “Why? Don’t you love uncle Buck?” she asks, head tilting in confusion just like Buck’s does. 

“I–” he starts, but the door swings open behind him, and he breathes a sigh of relief – he loves this kid immensely but he is so glad he doesn’t have to be alone with her right now because he truly has no idea what was going to come out of his mouth. 

“You guys ready?” Buck says, coming to a stop next to them. Eddie and Jee both look up at him and smile. 

“Ready!” Jee says, skipping off in the direction of the parking lot. 

Eddie and Buck follow behind her, shoulders bumping together every few feet until they get to the edge of the plateau, ready to head downhill once again to the car. Jee is standing there waiting for them, and Eddie tugs on Buck’s elbow, keeping him from continuing. 

“You good?” Buck asks, turning to look at him. 

“Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing,” Eddie says, crossing his arms over his chest. Buck’s eyes are drawn to the way his biceps bulge at the movement, shirt tight across his muscular figure. 

His words sink in a few seconds delayed, and his gaze snaps back to Eddie’s, who is giving him a no nonsense look. “What do you mean?” 

“How long has your leg been hurting?” he asks. Buck immediately shifts his weight off his bad leg, giving it a slight reprieve, since there’s no use in pretending. Eddie knows, of course Eddie knows.

“Just a few minutes,” he says quietly, head dropping. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“Doesn’t matter, I don’t have my pills with me. It’s fine, we’re almost done here, anyway.” 

“I would have gone to get them for you, all you have to do is ask,” Eddie says.

“You don’t have to do that, I can take care of myself, contrary to popular belief,” he mumbles. 

“Hop on,” Eddie says, and he angles his back toward Buck who takes a small step back, letting out a small laugh of surprise and confusion. 

“Uh, what?”

“Hop on. You’re not walking down this again when you feel like that, now get on,” he explains, fond exasperation fraying the edges of his voice, like he knows Buck is going to listen to him anyway and he wants to just skip to that part. 

“You…want to piggyback me to the car?” Buck clarifies, eyebrows nearly hitting his hairline. Eddie just nods, gesturing to his back, squatting down a little as if to allow him easier access. Buck laughs and takes another step back. 

“Dude, there’s no way. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m kind of a big guy, seriously, don’t worry–” he cuts off as Eddie straightens, turning to face him. 

“I’m not asking, Buck. I am a firefighter, I’m pretty sure I can take you, big boy. Stop stalling and let’s go,” he says, pointing a finger at Buck and turning around again. Buck sighs and shakes his head, turning to look at Jee who is watching them giggling. 

“Uncle Eddie, can I have a piggyback ride later?” she asks, blinking up at him with her puppy dog eyes. Buck knows that even without that look, Eddie would have said yes, but with it, he’s a goner. He agrees immediately, and even seals it with a pinky promise, which makes Buck’s chest ache in the best way. 

Buck takes a deep breath, placing his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. “Ready?” he asks, deciding to just give in and listen – Eddie can be so stubborn about stuff like this, and sometimes it honestly is just easier to let him have it. 

Eddie nods, so Buck crouches a little and jumps, landing on Eddie’s back with a soft oof. “You okay?” Buck asks quietly in Eddie’s ear. 

“Good boy,” Eddie mutters in response. His big hands are cradling under Buck’s thighs, holding him up with ease…which, if he thinks about it too hard, will make him feel a certain type of way, so he instead focuses on the pain still radiating up his leg as he clasps his hands in front of Eddie. 

They head downhill as Jee starts singing a song from The Sound of Music – you can definitely tell that this is Maddie and Chim’s kid. Eddie doesn’t make a single noise on their way down – not a sigh, not a grunt, no complaints – just slow, even breathing. Buck can admit that he is wildly impressed – he knows Eddie is a firefighter, has seen him push the limits of what should be physically possible firsthand before, but he’s never been on the receiving end of one of those acts, and that makes all the difference. He’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t be saving this information for later, when they are back home and memories of Eddie’s hands on his body are all that he has. At that thought, the familiar pit drops through his stomach as Eddie approaches the car. 

He places a soft kiss at the sensitive spot behind Eddie’s ear, thinking he’s getting down now that they’re on flat land, but when he wiggles in an effort to get off, Eddie’s hands clamp tighter around his thighs, efforts immediately thwarted. He comes to a stop at the passenger side door, clicking the button on the handle to unlock the door. Jee swings her door open and climbs into her seat, pulling the door shut behind her and starting to buckle herself in. 

Buck wiggles again against Eddie’s back, and, almost reluctantly, he slowly allows him to slip to the ground. Buck can’t help the grunt that leaves him as his leg makes contact with the hard earth, and Eddie spins around quickly, hands flying to his biceps to steady him. 

“‘M okay,” he says gruffly, reaching into his pocket for the keys. He spins them around his finger and takes a step to head around Eddie and the car to the driver’s side when Eddie stops him with a hand landing gently on the center of his chest. He wordlessly holds out his free hand, palm facing up, and Buck knows what he wants without asking. The keys are placed in Eddie’s palm, fingertips grazing against his skin sending lightning – the good kind – up his arm. 

Eddie pulls open the door for him with a small, relieved smile, almost like he thought Buck would put up a fight – but he’s helpless against Eddie, unable to do anything to resist him at the moment. Or ever.  

“Can you get in okay?” Eddie asks softly. He nods and Eddie leans up to give his birthmark a kiss, making him smile. Then, Eddie turns and opens the back door to check Jee’s seat – she’s gotten pretty good at buckling herself, but they still always double check – the fact that Eddie knew that and did it without him having to ask has warmth flooding his chest, and a lump of emotion forming in his throat. 

He ducks his head and gets in the car, buckling himself as Eddie makes his way around to the other side, pausing for a moment outside the closed door. Buck watches through the window as he takes a deep breath before settling in his seat and starting the car. 

They head to dinner, and, of course, ice cream, choosing to sit on a bench outside for a while as they enjoy their desserts, soaking in the nice evening weather. And, if Buck is being honest, delaying going back to the house. They have had such a nice day today, and he doesn’t want it to end – doesn’t want it to be inevitably tarnished by his parents. They finish up their sweet treats and get ready to go home. While Buck is not excited to drop Jee off and see his parents, he is excited to see Maddie and Chimney, and get some painkillers – it’s starting to get brutal. 

He limps back to the car, and he sees Eddie’s hands flexing out of the corner of his eye, and he just knows Eddie is itching to help him – so he lets him. He slows down, falling in line with  Eddie, silently wrapping his arm around his shoulders, acting as if he needs the help he knows Eddie is desperate to give. Eddie’s arm immediately slides around his back holding onto his waist and helping to keep some of the pressure off his leg – and while he did this initially to help Eddie, he does actually appreciate the extra support, literally and figuratively. 

“I got you, baby. We’re almost done, you’re doing so well,” Eddie murmurs to him, thumb rubbing against his waist. The soft praise nearly makes Buck melt in the parking lot, but somehow, he soldiers through, and the next thing he knows, Eddie is helping him in the car. 

Jee and Eddie talk about everything they are excited to tell Maddie and Chimney when they get home as Buck tries to keep his grunts of pain inside as the pain becomes nearly unbearable, leg cramping and sending shocks up his calf. Eddie reaches across the center console, grabbing his hand and rubbing soothing circles against the back of his hand. His touch helps ground Buck, as it always does – the thing that never fails to tie him back to earth, pulling him into Eddie’s orbit. Eddie always knows what he needs – most of the time before he does, and always without asking. It’s like their brains are connected, operating on the same wavelength, the most in sync he’s ever been with someone else. 

A memory of something Maddie said seeps into his mind at the most mundane gesture of Eddie lifting his hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against Buck’s fingers making him grin, head lolling against the headrest in order to look at him, dwindling sunlight filtering in through the window and bathing Eddie in a golden light so beautiful it takes Buck’s breath away – are you in love with Eddie? It wouldn’t be so crazy. What does she see in them that he doesn’t? He’s never had a best friend before, but she has. Why can’t she see that that’s all that they are? And why does it bother him so much that she suggested they could be more when he can barely even speak the words best friend about Eddie this week? Being around his parents usually makes him crazy, but never really this crazy. 

He ignores the flurry of thoughts that accompany this, as he has gotten used to doing, as they pull up to the house, Jee nearly bouncing with excitement about going to tell everyone about her day with her uncles. Her happiness at being here slightly offsets the pit that settles in his stomach whenever this house is in his view. He forces himself to smile through it, matching Jee’s excitement through mental and physical pain. As they skip up to the front door – yes, skip, you try saying no to one Jee-Yun Buckley-Han and see how it goes for you – Buck is mentally hyping himself up, trying to remain optimistic about how his parents are going to react to how they spent their day. Hopefully they can see how happy Jee is and how much fun she had. 

Jee is literally bouncing on the balls of her feet as Buck knocks on the door – his parents took back their house key the first time he moved out, so he couldn’t unlock the door even if he wanted to – and they wait (some of them impatiently) for someone to answer the door. The lock clicks and the door swings open to reveal a smiling Maddie, arms already open to catch a flying Jee who launched herself at her mom as soon as she was in sight. 

“Mommy!” she squeals, the both of them laughing as Maddie wraps her in a huge hug. 

Chimney appears next to Maddie, joining in the hug to make a Jee sandwich. They each press a kiss to her cheeks and Buck laughs at the way that makes her face squish. Maddie puts her down, and she grabs a hand from each of them and leads them down the hallway to the living room. Maddie, Chim, and Jee settle onto the touch, and Buck all but pushes Eddie into the chair, knowing that Eddie would offer it to him, but wanting to give back to Eddie an ounce of the kindness he has shown him, choosing to sit on the arm of the chair instead. Margaret and Philip are already sitting on the loveseat off to the side. Buck tries to give them a smile and a wave when he walks in, but they refuse to look at him, so he just scratches at the back of his neck awkwardly. 

Jee launches into the story about their day, Maddie and Chim laughing with her and asking questions. Buck is watching them with a soft smile on his face until Jee starts talking about the science center and he hears Margaret scoff off to his side. Buck freezes, making sure his smile remains in place for Jee. 

He can feel the heated glares being shot at him from the loveseat, but he can't bring himself to look, doesn't want to see the oh so familiar look of disappointment and disapproval from his parents. His hands begin fidgeting in his lap, anxiety swarming his stomach. Eddie places one hand on his knee to keep it from bouncing and wraps his other arm around his waist where he's perched on the chair, thumbs rubbing soothing circles as per usual with Eddie. 

Buck turns to look at Eddie to shoot him a grateful smile, the contact already helping him feel better, but falters when he sees Eddie's eyes already on him, watching every move he makes intently, concern for him and annoyance at his parents shifting in his gaze. Buck gives him a wobbly smile and turns back to Jee, but he can still feel Eddie's watchful attention on him intermittently, as well as his mother's own judgmental stares. Jee continues her story, recapping all the exhibits they saw, making sure to include facetiming Chris, which makes Eddie shift in his seat. 

Then she starts talking about the bunny fountains, and while Buck loves how much she listens and learns – she really is like a sponge taking in everything around her – he did not anticipate this next bit being part of her story. 

“And we got to go to uncle Buck’s favorite place here, even more favorite than grandma and grandpa's house. Mommy, it was soooo coooooool, the bunnies were huge, and Daddy the food was so good, you have to try it. Uncle Buck, can we take them to your heaven?” she asks, turning pleading eyes on him. Upon hearing his own words spoken back to him, there was a sharp gasp from the corner, and he tries to keep himself from cringing. 

“Sure, Jee, whenever you want,” he says with a smile. Jee beams at him, and he knows that whatever his mom spits at him later is worth seeing that look on her face. Buck focuses on the movement of Eddie’s fingers on his body, using them to ground himself as he listens intently to the rest of Jee's story. And then, nearly as soon as it's over – “Evan, will you help me reach the next bag of coffee beans before you go? I put them up on a shelf too high,” Margaret asks, not even bothering to look at him as she stalks out of the room, door swinging shut behind her. 

Maddie gives him a look, and then her eyes dart to the door their mom just walked through and Buck knows she's asking if he wants her to go with him. He gives her a smile and shakes his head no – he’ll be fine. 

“Hey, Jee, why don't you tell your mom and dad about how your uncle Buck lifted a whole car by himself?” Buck suggests as he pushes off the arm of Eddie's chair. He chuckles as her eyes light up, and she starts telling them all about it as he takes a deep breath and walks into the kitchen where he is met with a fuming Margaret Buckley – nothing new or surprising to him there. 

“What is the matter with you?” she says as soon as the door is closed behind him. His eyes are trained on the floor, as they usually are when the two of them are alone, but he can vividly see her angry expression in his mind. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Why would you take her to those places, Evan. You had one job – spend the day with your niece, whom you claim you love, and you couldn't even do that right.” At those words, his head snaps up, fire flooding his veins, the insinuation he doesn't care about Jee igniting him. He can tell when he meets Margaret's eyes that this is exactly what she wanted from him, but he can't help it and, at this point, doesn't care. 

“I do love her, are you kidding? You have no right to say that to me. What about what we did today is so bad, mom?” 

She scoffs, stepping closer to him. “You are despicable. Putting all that garbage in her head about 'your heaven,’” she says, putting air quotes around the words. “The reason you needed that damn park, Evan, is because you were the kid from hell. I will never understand what I did wrong to end up with you. As much as that park was ‘your heaven’, it was mine too, because every time you were there, you were away from me.” 

The force of her words hit him in the chest, and he takes a small step back, hitting the edge of the counter, gripping onto it to keep himself upright, making Margaret smile cruelly. 

“Mom, I-I don't think I was that bad, I was just a k-kid–” 

“You don't get to tell me anything, Evan. You have no idea. You don’t have a family so you truly do not know. You break everything you touch. This family was cracked before you were even born because god knew you would end up here eventually and shatter it completely, and that's exactly what you did. I just don't know why I had to be punished with your existence.” 

Tears prick the back of his eyes, and he blinks hard to keep them at bay. “I…I–” he gulps over the lump of emotion that has formed in his throat. Irritation pokes at him – irritation that he still cares this much, that her words can still bother him, hurt him so deeply. “Not everything,” is all he can manage to whisper. 

Images of his family flash through his mind – not just Maddie, Chimney and Jee, but his found family, his chosen family. Eddie and Chris, Bobby and Athena, May and Harry, Hen and Karen, Ravi and Albert – their barbecues, laughs, memories, support – he clings to them in this moment. He hasn't broken them, he completes them, he's one of them, part of their unit. Margaret is wrong, she has to be…right? 

"No matter how hard you try, Evan, Daniel would have been a better man on his worst day than you are on your best. I will never understand why he had to die because you weren't good enough. You've never been good enough - not for us, not for Daniel, not for Maddie, not for your team, certainly not for Eddie - and you never will be. At what point are you going to just give up and stop trying? You are poison, Evan. You need to let that family go before you kill it, too,” she spits, and then turns and walks back through the door like nothing happened, leaving him reeling. 

As soon as the door closes behind her, it's like the strings holding him up are cut, and he sags to the floor, legs giving out beneath him, with his back against the cabinets and his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. Her words take a few moments to process, but once they sink in, he realizes that she's right – he is poison. He's been fooling himself thinking he's good enough for Eddie and Chris, for the team. For his family. 

First thing in the morning, he's booking Eddie a flight out of here – he won't spend another day being a parasite to the best person he knows. His forehead hits his knees as tears start to fall, dropping down his cheeks and soaking into his jeans. His chest is tight, breathing rapid – he knows these to be signs of a panic attack, having done research after seeing Eddie experience them several times to be able to help him better. He also knows he should do something to help himself in the moment – try to regulate his breathing, relax his body, distract his brain – but he can't. Or, rather, won't. If that’s what his own mother thinks about him, maybe…maybe he deserves to feel this way. Maybe he deserves to be alone. 

It's seeing the difference in the way his parents treat him and Maddie and Chimney treat Jee that makes it abundantly, unmistakably, painfully clear – Margaret and Philip don't love him. They never have and they never will, no matter what he does. And he knows he doesn't need them – knows he has a support system now that will love him anyway – but still, deep down, he has always seeked their approval. He wants to be loved and accepted by them in the way a parent should love and accept their child. Because if his own parents can't love him, how can he expect someone else to? 

He's still sitting there, silently sobbing into his legs, trying to pull himself together, when the door opens again. He freezes, thinking maybe Margaret is back to tell him to knock it off and get up, and he braces himself, expecting to hear her harsh voice again. But it doesn't come. 

Instead, he hears a soft, “oh, Buck,” as Eddie drops to his knees next to him, wrapping his trembling body in strong arms. “Baby, what happened?” he asks, pressing a kiss to the top of Buck’s head. Buck opens his mouth to explain that he's fine, he just needs a minute, but only a garbled noise squeaks its way out. Eddie's heart cracks, and for a split second he wonders if Buck can hear it where his ear is pressing against his chest. 

He knows the box is gone. He knows the love is there – it's coursing through his veins, in every beat of his heart, in every synapse between the neurons in his brain. It's a part of him, a huge part of him. It's there and it's not leaving. He knows he can't put it back in the box. But he can't act on it either. At least… not when they get home. 

So if he indulges in his wants and desires for the rest of this week, when he can, while he's Buck’s boyfriend, when he's allowed – mind your own business. He thinks Father Brian would be proud of him. For the next few days, he's drinking the juice. And he's going to try adamantly not to think about how impossible it's going to be to go back to water when they get home. 

Buck takes a ragged breath, choked sob catching in his throat, and Eddie immediately can't take it anymore, can’t bear the fact that Buck is in so much pain. 

“C’mon, baby. We're leaving,” he whispers, helping to pull Buck up into a standing position. 

“‘M fine,” Buck mumbles, the words barely coherent. 

Eddie just gives him a look and pats down Buck’s pockets to make sure he has his phone, reaching in his front pocket to grab the car keys. 

“Maddie,” Buck rasps, throat tight – he doesn't even sound like himself and Eddie instantly misses the deep richness of his voice. 

“I’ll text her, baby, don't worry about it.” Eddie cups Buck’s face in his hands, wiping away tears with his thumbs, looking at him with such softness Buck feels like he could explode. A thought rams into him, and his face crumples, fresh tears starting to fall. 

“Jee.” 

That's all he has to say for Eddie to understand – he can't leave without telling their niece goodbye. So he nods, wiping the new tears away. “I’ll get her, okay? Bring her in here to give you a big hug, and then we're leaving.” 

“Eddie, t–” 

“No, Buck, we're leaving. I'm not staying here with those people for another minute, not when she did this to you, not tonight. I can't stand the way they treat you, I've tried to stay out of it and not say anything, but I'm teetering on the edge of my self-control, B, please don't ask me to do that. Ask me anything else and I will make it happen, but please, not that,” Eddie pleads, pained look on his face. 

Buck almost cracks a smile. “I was going to say thank you.” 

“Oh. Nothing to thank me for. Take a deep breath for me and I’ll be right back with her, okay?” 

Buck nods, and Eddie can't stop himself from leaning in and kissing the tip of his nose – Buck actually does smile at that, and Eddie releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding at the sight of his curved lips, warmth and pride flooding him. 

Buck takes the few seconds alone to swipe his tears away and get his shaky breathing under control. The door cracks open and Jee runs at him – he bends down to scoop her up, her arms tightening around his neck. 

“You're leaving uncle Buck?” she pouts. 

“Mmhm. But I’ll see you tomorrow!” he exclaims, putting as much enthusiasm behind the words as he can muster. 

“But I don't want you to leave, today was the best day ever!” 

Buck laughs at that, giving her a squeeze and setting her down, crouching to her eye level, ignoring the twinge in his leg as he does so. 

“It really was, wasn't it? We’ll have another great day tomorrow, I promise.” 

“Pinky?” she asks, holding out her tiny pinky to him in typical Buckley fashion. Buck’s pinky wraps around hers sealing the promise. 

She gives him another hug and then gives Eddie a hug before returning to her parents in the living room. Eddie holds out a hand to help Buck off the floor yet again, and then leads him out of the house and to the car. 

The car is quiet, music softly playing over the speakers. Buck is kind of afraid that Eddie is going to ask him again about what happened, but he should know better than to be worried – Eddie has always been able to tell what he needs, and doesn’t bring it up. Buck feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward him, unable to even wrap his brain around how much Eddie means to him and how thankful he is that Eddie is always on the same page as him, always sees him, always meets him where he is – truly the ideal partner in every sense of the word, Buck couldn’t even dream of someone better. He’s extra appreciative of the space Eddie is giving him right now, needing more time to process everything. But it feels almost like he’s stuck in his head, thoughts swirling, body fidgety. He needs something – something to distract him, take him out of his mind – but he doesn’t know what, and doesn’t know how to ask for that. 

He pulls out his phone, navigating to upcoming flights. He books something for Eddie quickly, and then drops his phone into the cup holder, turning to look out the window. 

Getting lost in thought, the rest of the drive to the hotel goes quickly, only realizing they’ve arrived because Eddie opens his door, reaching for his hand to help him out of the car. Buck hisses as his leg makes contact with the ground again, so wrapped up in his own mind that he forgot how much pain he was in. Eddie’s grip tightens around him as they navigate their way inside, Eddie helping to bear the brunt of his weight. 

Once they’re in their room, Eddie walks him to the end of the bed, slowly lowering him until he’s settled on the edge of it. Eddie rummages through his bag until he pulls out the bottle of painkillers, shaking two into his hand. Then he fills up a cup of water, goes back to Buck, stopping in front of him. 

“Thanks,” Buck breathes, holding up his own hand to receive the pills, but Eddie just shakes his head, handing him the cup of water instead. Buck’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion, head tilting as he looks up at him. Eddie picks up one pill between his index finger and thumb, and realization washes across Buck’s face like a wave, making Eddie smirk – Eddie wants to feed him his pills again. 

“Eds, I can–,“ he’s silenced with a raised eyebrow from Eddie, and instead of trying to argue with him, he just drops his mouth open, tongue sticking out slightly. 

“Good boy,” Eddie says gently, pulling a soft moan from Buck as the pill is placed carefully in the center of his tongue. They maintain eye contact as he raises the plastic cup to his lips, swallowing down the pill with some water. Eddie doesn’t need to ask again – Buck immediately opens up for him again and Eddie smiles at him, cupping his face with his empty hand, thumb tracing his bottom lip, pad of his finger barely grazing the edge of Buck’s tongue, making him want more. 

His breath hitches in his throat – this is it. This is the thing he needed that he didn’t know to ask for. And don’t get it twisted – he doesn’t need this in a Buck 1.0 way. He needs this in a need connection with Eddie way, in a need Eddie to consume his brain way, in a when Eddie touches him he can finally breathe again kind of way. 

Yet again, Eddie knew what he needed before he did and didn’t even hesitate to give it to him. What he doesn’t realize is that Eddie needs to care for him as badly as Buck needs cared for in this moment – it’s not just Buck who gets comfort from this, but Eddie’s own anxiety also settles knowing that he is making Buck feel better. 

His breathing picks up, fanning over Eddie's thumb. Buck's eyes are pleading, practically begging. As usual, Eddie gives him what he needs – Eddie's thumb slides across his tongue, entering his mouth. They both sigh at the sensation, Buck at feeling like he finally can think again, Eddie at the peaceful look that crosses his lover's face. 

Buck's lips close around Eddie's digit, surrounding him in wet warmth. Buck hollows his cheeks a little, sucking Eddie further in his mouth, causing Eddie to groan. He is already thick in his pants at the sight of Buck's blue bright eyes looking up at him from below. 

"More," Buck says around his thumb, the word coming out muffled. Eddie retracts his finger leaving Buck open-mouthed, breathless, and panting.

Eddie places the second pill on Buck's tongue and watches him swallow. “Good boy," he praises again, enjoying the way his eyes flutter at the words. 

“Please, Eds, more,” Buck says, voice already rough, thick with want. 

“Tell me what you want, baby.” 

“I-I want you,” he whines. 

“Nuh uh, pretty boy, I’m gonna need you to be a little bit more specific than that,” he says, gripping his chin in between his fingers, tilting his head back to get a better angle. He leans down, noses inches from touching. 

Buck's tongue darts out to wet his dry lips and Eddie's eyes track the movement. "I-l need, uh, I need..." he trails off, eyes falling to the floor as a blush spreads across his cheeks. Eddie ducks down to catch his eyes again. 

“Use your words. Tell me what you want, baby, and I will give it to you."

Buck takes a deep breath, steeling himself to say the words aloud. "I want to taste you. A-and then, I need you to fuck me... please," he whispers, cringing his as voice splits the still air.

"Such a good boy for me, Buck, aren't you?" Eddie says, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Buck's cheek. Then, Eddie straightens, lowering his hands to his side, and looking at Buck with barely masked awe and adoration.

Slowly, he reaches down, sliding a finger into his waistband, lowering his pants until they meet the floor, and Buck is met with the sight of Eddie, hard, in his boxers in front of him. Buck glances up at Eddie, as if for permission to touch. With a simple nod of his head, it's like Buck's self-control has snapped, and he leans forward, nudging Eddie's member with his nose, wrapping his arms around Eddie, gripping his plump ass and using it as leverage to pull Eddie forward. Eddie is already leaking, a small wet patch visible against the light grey fabric, and Buck mouths at it, trying to taste it from the threads. 

He's reminded of the plane, and watching Eddie suck his drool out of his shirt, and can't help the groan that escapes him at the mental image. Why was that so fucking hot? And why did he do that before they were even fake dating? These are questions Buck probably would have and should have asked if he was capable of thinking about anything other than getting Eddie on his tongue. Even in his distracted state, he makes a mental note to return to the Plane Incident later. 

Buck licks at Eddie's head through his boxers, getting the fabric wet under his tongue, enjoying the way the texture feels. Eddie reaches a hand up, running soft fingers through his curls, scratching lightly at his scalp. 

"Buck," he huffs. 

"Impatient?" Buck asks, looking up at him from his position sitting on the bed, leaned forward to press into his body. 

“Mmhm, especially when you’re looking at me like that. Wanna feel you, B, come on." 

“Yes, sir," Buck mumbles against Eddie's hip, placing a kiss there, and Eddie’s grip tightens in his hair, making Buck smirk – noted. Buck hooks his fingers onto the elastic of his waistband, and yanks them down, mouth positively watering as Eddie’s cock springs free of the prison it was trapped in. Buck groans at the sight of Eddie flushed and leaking between his thighs, and Eddie hisses as the cool air rushes him. Buck reaches up cautious fingers, gripping Eddie at the base and keeping him steady as he leans in, licking a strip from base to tip, flicking his tongue across the slit, groaning at the taste of Eddie's precome splashing across tastebuds. "Fuck, baby,” Eddie breathes. 

Buck looks up at Eddie through thick lashes as he takes Eddie's tip into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head. Eddie lets out a muffled moan at the sensation, and Buck looks up to see Eddie’s bottom lip bitten between his teeth. Buck pulls off with a quiet pop. “I want to hear you, Eds, please.”

He doesn't wait for an answer, just hopes that Eddie will see how desperately he wants to hear his pleasure as he dives back in, swallowing Eddie down in one motion. Turns out Eddie did listen, because a loud groan meets the air as Buck starts to bob on Eddie's cock, and if he could have, he would have smiled, knowing he was the reason for Eddie's pleasure, the reason for him letting go, and letting himself enjoy it. 

Eddie pulls out entirely, and Buck’s fingers dig into his ass cheeks, trying to keep him inside, making him chuckle. "Little desperate today, are we, baby? Someone feeling needy? Pent up?" Eddie teases. Buck can't help but nod, because he is — he is needy, desperate, pent up, needing to feel Eddie, needing release more than he needs air. "Please, Eds, please, need you." Buck begs. 

“Oh, I know you do, pretty boy, I just like hearing you beg for me.” 

"Eddie, please, please, I need you in me or I’m going to explode please, need you, right now," Buck continues. 

“Open up," Eddie instructs, and Buck listens immediately, earning soft praise from Eddie. Buck is looking up at Eddie with wide, bright eyes, open mouth, tongue spilling out. Eddie takes a tiny step forward, crowding into Buck’s space even more before placing himself on Buck’s tongue and sliding his head in.

Eddie's fingers are tight, but not painful, in his hair, mostly letting him set his own pace, only using his leverage slightly to remind Buck who is in charge, sending a thrill up his spine. Soft praise falls from Eddie's lips freely, making Buck moan around him, which sends vibrations through Eddie, making him moan back – a beautiful cycle. One of Buck’s hands leaves its grip on Eddie's ass, coming around to gently cup his balls, making Eddie jerk his hips forward into Buck’s throat. 

He is just about to apologize when Buck's grunt of pleasure hits his ears, and Buck’s pleading, watery eyes look up at him. Eddie understands immediately, but needs to confirm, to make sure. "You liked that, baby? Want me to fuck your face, don't you?" he asks. Buck's eyes nearly roll back in his head at Eddie's words, and he nods as best he can around Eddie, who smiles down at him in response. "Such a perfect boy for me, Buck. So fucking good. Tap my leg twice if you need a break, okay? " he says, and waits for another half nod from Buck, needing to know his instructions have cut through the lustful haze Buck is in. 

Then, he reaches up his other hand, threading all ten fingers through Buck's curls, using his grip to keep him steady as he gives a few shallow test thrusts. When Buck starts groaning around him at the sensation of Eddie sliding in and out of his mouth, Eddie sets a steady rhythm, making sure he doesn't push too deep for too long to allow Buck time to catch his breath. Both of them are grunting, feeling Buck’s warm, tight wetness squeezing around him, and knowing Eddie is in control, being used for Eddie's pleasure. 

Eddie speeds up slowly, mix of spit and precome dripping down Buck's chin, soaking into the neck and chest of his t-shirt, as well as the bottom hem of Eddie's. Eddie thrusts in one last time, lowering Buck down his cock until his lips are flush with Eddie’s hips, fully inserted into his mouth. Eddie holds him there for one, two, three, four seconds before gripping his hair and pulling him completely off his cock, both of them panting and breathless. 

"You did so perfect for me, baby, such a good job,” Eddie says, leaning down and peppering Buck’s face with soft kisses, little mwahs leaving him. Buck whines, soaking up the praise, but mourning the loss of Eddie's weight on his tongue.

"But you didn't..." he trails off, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. 

"You want me to come in your mouth and then fuck you, too?" Eddie questions. Buck nods his head slowly, bashful. "Greedy. Jesus, Buck, I'm not 19 anymore, I don't know if I-“

"Y-you can, I know you can, I'll help you. If I'm extra good for you, I know you can, please, need to taste you, need to feel you, I know you can,” Buck babbles. Eddie is quiet, thoughtful, about to give in to the beautiful human in front of him because how can he ever say no to Evan Buckley, when Buck tips the scales entirely in his favor.

"Please, sir, I promise I’ll be worth it,” he vows, fluttering his eyelashes at Eddie. And that's it. Embarrassingly, that's all it takes to snap his resolve.

"Open," he commands. Buck can't help the brief grin that flashes across his face before he opens exactly as he did before, waiting patiently for Eddie. Eddie takes a deep breath, looking at the flushed, needy, desperate man on the bed in front of him, heat pooling in his gut knowing how badly Buck wants this, how much he begged for this, knowing that this is going to be making him feel better. 

"I'm not going to last very long," he warns. 

"That's okay. Just need to taste you, please," Buck requests. At that, Eddie's head tips back, a soft fuck leaving his lips. He looks back down at Buck, taking yet another small step forward, completely invading Buck's space, giving him no room to wiggle, nowhere to go but forward onto his cock.

Eddie grips himself at the base, tapping his head against Buck's slick tongue a few times, pulling a whine from the needy man. "Such a good boy, Buck,” Eddie says fondly as he slides home, grip returning to Buck’s hair, keeping him in place as he bottoms himself out in Buck’s mouth. They both groan as Buck’s lips return to Eddie's skin, brushing against the short, curly hair there. Eddie starts slow, getting Buck used to the sensation again, before he picks up speed, both of them letting loose groans and moans freely.

He was right – it isn’t long until he's panting out a warning to Buck, pulling out slightly so he can shoot his warm load onto Buck’s tongue so he can taste Eddie just like he requested. Eddie is breathless and satisfied, extremities warm and tingly as he comes back to earth. Buck is still sucking every last drop from his tip as he softens slowly. Eddie ends up using one of the hands in Buck’s hair to pull him off, overstimulated. 

The other hand leaves his curls and he swipes a thumb across Buck’s chin, collecting the fountain of saliva, precome and come that has overflowed from Buck’s lips, sticking the digit in his own mouth to test how they taste gasps slightly at that, jerking where he sits on the bed. It's then that Eddie notices what he's doing. He's palming himself, stroking his own cock over his boxers. At the look on Eddie's face, he removes his hand immediately, placing his palms flat on the bed on either side of his thighs.

"What were you doing, Buck?" Eddie questions. 

“Umm... Nothing?" Buck says, hopeful Eddie shakes his head. 

"Good boys don't lie, do they? I thought you were a good boy? Maybe I was wrong, huh?” 

“N-no, you weren't wrong. I am a good boy, I swear.... I-I was touching myself," he says, shame lacing his voice. 

“And who told you that you could do that?” Eddie asks condescendingly. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, I-I had to, you’re so fucking hot, Eds, I couldn’t take it, I was going to explode, I was so close,” he tries to explain. 

"Hm, so you knew it was wrong, and yet, you did it anyway. Doesn't sound like a good boy to me..." he says, enjoying the way Buck's face crumples probably a little too much.

“I-I… Yeah... I knew it was wrong. I'm sorry, Eddie, please forgive me, I didn't mean it." 

“Oh, I think you did. Just so fucking needy and pathetic and desperate you couldn't even wait your turn is that it, huh?”

"Yeah-yes, yes, that's it,” Buck agrees, cheeks burning from embarrassment and arousal. 

"Just got so turned on sucking me off you just had to touch yourself. So impatient you couldn't even wait for me to come first.”

“N-no, I couldn’t wait, I’m sorry, i-it won’t happen again.”

"Yeah, I didn't think so. Your pleasure belongs to me, Buck. I make you feel good, I touch your cock, I make you come. You belong to me. Seems like you forgot that. We’re going to have to fix that, aren’t we baby.”

Eddie smirks as Buck visibly gulps. Then he nods his head, letting out a quiet, "yes, sir." 

“That’s my good boy. If you can make me come again, then I’ll fuck you, and if you can't... then you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow.”

Buck whines, shifting where he's sitting on the bed. Eddie can see a large wet patch on his boxers over the head of his cock, and smirks, knowing he must be painfully hard by now, needing relief, and worked himself up almost too much while sucking him off.

"What do you want me to do?” Buck asks eagerly.

"Get out of this," he says, reaching out and tugging on the collar of his shirt, “and these," he instructs, placing his palm over the bulge in Buck's boxers. Buck's hips jerk into his hand involuntarily, soft grunt leaving him at the contact.

He has a lot of favorite Eddie's - Dad Eddie, Medic Eddie, Firefighter Eddie, Street Fighter Eddie (he actually didn’t mind the buzz cut, sue him), Dispatch Eddie, Sleepy Eddie, Hungry Eddie - you get the point. Every Eddie is his favorite Eddie. But this Eddie- worked up, charged, hard, in control, and the perfect amount of sweet and harsh? This Eddie has a special place in his heart because fuck if he isn't going to miss this version of Eddie an incredible amount when they get home. He has to soak up every second of their time together, committing this Eddie to memory before he slips away, lost to Pennsylvania forever.

He doesn't realize he's just staring at Eddie, eyes tracing over every inch of his face, until it's right in front of him, concern mixed in his expression, gentle hands cupping his cheeks. "Buck?“

“Sorry," he says, trying to shake himself out of his trance, realizing Eddie probably tried to get his attention several times already.

"Where did you just go?" Eddie asks.

"Nowhere, I'm fine." 

“Buck."

“I-I just was thinking about how... Like I’m going to miss this. The-the feeling of being in a relationship, you know. Maybe they're right. Maybe when we get back home I need to get serious about trying to find a partner, try harder to settle down, find that person l want a family with.”

"You have a family, Buck,” Eddie says firmly.

“No, I know, but it's different."

"Buck, you’re my family."

 “You don't have to just say that, Ed-"

Eddie lowers to his knees in front of Buck, making sure they are eye level and Buck can see how much he means this. "I didn't just put you in my will because you’re my friend, Buck, you are my family, by my definition – by any definition that matters. Don't let them get in your head. You're perfect the way you are. We wouldn't want it any other way."

Buck gives him a shy smile. "Thanks, Eds.” He tries not to let Eddie’s words hit him in the chest, but they do, landing softly and warming him from the inside out. Family. Eddie really is the best friend he could ask for. He’s not sure how he got lucky enough to know him, but he sends a ‘thank you’ to any god who is listening. 

“Now can you get naked?”

Buck chuckles, nodding, reaching behind his head and tugging his shirt over his head. Eddie leans back on his heels, doing the same. Buck's movements falter as he tosses the shirt off to the side, distracted by the beautiful chest of lean muscle and soft edges in front of him, of breath catching in his throat. 

"C-can I?" Buck asks, not even able to tear his eyes off of Eddie's body. From his peripherals, sees Eddie nod, and he lunges, leaning forward and licking from Eddie’s belly button to his collarbone, loving the way the muscles contract beneath his touch. His hands grip Eddie's hips and scooch him back, trying to create more room so he can kneel in front of him, but before his knee makes contact with the ground Eddie stops him.

“But you said I could!” Buck huffs. 

"Not on the floor, B, don't want to hurt your leg." 

"I don't care about my leg, need to get my tongue on you, come on." 

“I am personally offended that you think that's going to work. Even if you don't care about your leg, I do. Get on the bed, and take your fucking boxers off."

"Yes, sir," Buck says, scrambling backwards to sprawl out on the bed. He reaches down, grabbing onto his boxers, lifting his hips to shimmy out of them, throwing them in the general direction he tossed his shirt earlier... he thinks.

Finally laid out, bare, on display, Eddie is still kneeling on the floor, watching him with dark, hungry eyes. Buck suddenly feels shy, like he's prey about to be pounced on, feeling like Eddie is about to devour him. And maybe he is. Buck would go willingly, of course he would.

Eddie watches him from the floor for a while longer, and it takes Buck an embarrassingly long time to realize Eddie has a fist around himself, slowly jerking his cock while his eyes roam Buck's body, Buck leans up a little on his elbows to get a better view of Eddie's hardness disappearing through his fingers, and when his eyes finally land on the sight, his own cook twitches, precome leaking steadily from the tip, begging to be touched. 

Eddie seems to snap out of it at that, standing up quickly, crawling onto the bed, own cock abandoned in favor of running his hands up the sides of Buck’s legs. Goosebumps erupt in the wake of his fingertips as they trail up Buck's calves, thighs, hips. Eddie pauses, hovering over Buck's cock, and Buck tilts his head, questioning why he stopped without speaking.

Eddie is mesmerized; looking at Buck's hardness with a sort of reverence. He leans down, placing soft kisses on the top of Buck's thigh, working his way from the outside in before repeating the process on the other thigh. He pulls back again, looking down at the leaky mess between Buck's legs, close enough Buck can feel his breath on his overheated skin.

"I've never done this before," Eddie says, voice quiet.

Buck audibly gulps, throat dry. "You don't have to, Eds, it's fine, I-"

"I want to. I just don't know if I’ll be good at it," he explains, warm brown eyes looking up at him through dark lashes.

So fucking beautiful. It isn't until Eddie smiles that he realizes he said that out loud – oops.

"Funny, I was gonna say the same thing about you,” Eddie chuckles, eyes flicking across his face, down his chest, and coming to a rest again on his cock. 

"Let me know what feels good,” Eddie instructs, leaning in and licking across his tip, collecting some of the precome beading there, moaning at the flavor of pure Buck on his tongue. Maybe he will enjoy this more than he always thought he would.

He sucks Buck's tip into his mouth, getting used to the sensation and weight on his tongue, feeling the velvety skin rubbing against his lips. Buck groans above him as he swirls his tongue around the head, trying to gather up all the precome that has spilled from the slit. Hearing that noise from Buck, being the cause of it, ignites a need inside of Eddie – he needs to make Buck scream for him, whatever the cost. 

He swirls his tongue again, and Buck's hands grip the sheets. That won't do. Eddie bobs his head down, taking more of Buck into his mouth, and Buck's head falls back against the pillow. Nuh uh, that's not going to work either. 

Without warning, Eddie takes Buck down to the base, swallowing around him. It has one of his desired effects – one of Buck's hands leaves the sheets, threading softly through his hair. He isn't pushing or pulling – already knows Eddie wouldn't stand for that, which makes pride swell in Eddie – but just uses the strands to ground himself, offering another point of connection between him and Eddie.

He hollows his cheeks, sucking hard around Buck as he pulls back to just the tip, tongue swiping around him again before taking all of Buck back in his mouth. The sounds Buck is letting out are obscene, music to his ears, and he can't help but straddle one of Buck's legs, grinding his own hard cock into Buck's shin. He understands why Buck likes doing this so much, insides fuzzy knowing he's pleasuring his partner.

Eddie sets a brutal pace, taking Buck's considerable length with ease, which is a pleasant surprise to them both. 

Eddie only bobs a few times before Buck grips his hair and pulls him entirely off, breathing deep, eyes screwed up tight. Eddie looks up at him, surprised. 

“What the hell, Buck?” 

“Sorry, sorry, was gonna come, I-” 

“Look at me.” 

“Can't.”

“And why not?” 

“If I look at you I'm gonna come. You told me I can't. Please, I-I’m trying to be good.” 

Eddie places a kiss on his hip, murmuring against his skin. “You're doing so good, baby, so proud of you. Just a little bit longer, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Buck breathes. 

“Think you can do that for me?” 

“Mmhm,” he hums, finally opening his eyes, connecting with Eddie's. 

“Good boy.” 

Eddie licks up Buck’s cock again, enjoying the way it jerks under his tongue. 

“Eds.” 

“You're okay, B, you can take it,” Eddie says, reaching up his index finger for Buck, who knows what to do with it without instructions, making Eddie smile. Buck sucks the digit into his warm mouth, swirling his tongue around it, covering it in his spit. 

Eddie pulls it from Buck’s mouth with a pop, sucking it into his own mouth, groaning at the taste of Buck on his skin. Then he lowers his lips back to Buck’s tip drawing him into his mouth as his hand trails downward, circling Buck’s hole with his now wet finger, making Buck gasp and jerk underneath of him. 

“Fuck, Eds.” 

Eddie starts a slow pace bobbing on Buck’s cock, knowing he's already been close twice and doesn't want to set him up for failure. He teases Buck’s rim, going in slow circles around the tight muscle, reveling in the way Buck’s breath hitches above him, little moans being pulled from his lips. 

They both groan when Eddie’s finger finally pushes its way inside, enveloped in squeezing warmth. He pumps his finger slowly, matching time with the way he bobs on Buck’s cock. Buck is staring down at him with near tears in his eyes, watching Eddie with awe and reverence, pretty little noises leaving his lips every time Eddie bottoms out inside of him. One hand is still tangled in the sheets, the other resting in Eddie’s hair, stroking gently. He can’t tear his eyes away from Eddie’s, entranced by the look on his face, the way his eyes are slowly filling with tears as he works himself on his cock, eyebrows raising on every particularly deep grind against Buck’s shin where he’s still humping into him to give himself relief. 

“Eds, please, I need–” he cuts off on a whine as Eddie pulls off his cock, strand of spit connecting his lips to his head. 

“Please what, baby? What do you need?” Eddie mocks, using his free hand to come up and stroke Buck’s hardness, spit-slicked and still leaking. Buck’s hips lift into his fist, trying to speed up his strokes, but Eddie just chuckles and won’t let him, keeping his pumps too loose and slow to get him close. 

“More…please,” Buck says. 

“One finger in your ass not enough for you, baby? Need more? Just so greedy you need more, huh? Just so fucking desperate for me you can’t wait just a little while longer, can you?” 

Buck loses the battle to keep his eyes on Eddie, head falling back between his shoulder blades where he’s propped up on his elbows, eyes squeezing shut. His cock jerks in Eddie’s grip, so he knows he hasn’t gone too far, knows Buck is just trying to keep himself away from the edge, trying to not get so worked up. And, well, Eddie simply can’t have that. 

He tightens his grip on Buck’s cock and slides another finger in his tight hole, working him open slowly, listening to the symphony of grunts and groans that flow from him. His favorite noise in the world is the broken, choked moans that get pulled from Buck’s throat because of him. 

“Buck, look at me,” Eddie says, breathless. 

“I can’t.” 

“B, come on, you can do it. Just a little bit longer, baby, I know you can,” Eddie soothes. 

He needs Buck to look at him. He’s teetering on the edge, knowing he’s bringing Buck pleasure, hearing it, seeing it, fuck, he’s so close but he needs more – it’s his turn to be needy, to be greedy. He needs to see Buck. He briefly wonders if he’ll be able to come without thinking about Buck when he gets home, but quickly pushes those thoughts out of his mind. He has Buck here, now. That’s what he needs to focus on, committing the way every nerve feels as he connects with Buck. 

Eddie crooks his fingers, hitting the perfect spot inside of Buck, and his head snaps up on a gasp, eyes flying open, seeking Eddie’s immediately. As soon as they connect, Eddie is panting, moaning freely as he spills his load onto Buck’s leg and the blanket, humping his leg like a damn dog, hand still working his cock, fingers still scissoring him open, eyes locked on his favorite shade of blue. 

“Eds, I– close,” Buck croaks out, and Eddie squeezes him around the base, removing his fingers. 

Eddie’s forehead drops, resting against Buck’s hip, and he presses soft kisses there. “Did so good for me, Buck, such a good boy,” Eddie says, still breathing heavily as he comes down from his high. Eddie’s still squeezing around Buck’s cock – not moving, just squeezing, trying to stave off his orgasm for a while longer. Eddie takes a minute to catch his breath, and Buck starts to writhe under him. Eddie places one last kiss against his hip, looking up at him, flushed and a little shiny with sweat. 

Buck looks back at him, eyes pleading. 

"That was great, thanks, " Eddie says, tapping Buck's thigh twice and moving over so he's sitting next to Buck where he's still sprawled out.

Buck makes a strangled noise, grabbing weakly for Eddie's hand, fingers landing on his forearm. Eddie looks down at him, reaching a hand out and smoothing over his curls which are unruly and tussled. Eddie loves this look on him – dazed, needy, hungry, fucked out.

"What's the matter, baby, need something?" 

 "I–" 

"Go ahead Buck, use your words."

"You know, " Buck whines.

"If you want something, Buck, you’re gonna have to ask for it."

"Fuck, Eds, " he says as his cook twitches where it's now resting against his stomach – almost painfully hard, flushed bright red, leaking and wet. "Please, please, fuck me, I've been so good, I-I waited, I didn't come even when l wanted to, please, I need to feel you, I'm going to go insane, I have to have you in me please, I- " he chokes off on a sob, tears forming in his eyes, and fuck if that doesn't make Eddie's cock stir back to life again, already thickening despite the fact that he just came twice.

"Okay, baby, you're okay. Been such a good boy for me haven't you. Need it so bad, huh, B?”

Buck just nods in response, words not available to him at the moment. Eddie runs his hand over his hair one more time, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Let me just get the lube, okay sweetheart? I’ll be right back," Eddie promises, starting to position himself to get off the bed when he's stopped by Buck’s fingers tightening on his forearm. "What's the matter?" 

“Don’t want lube. Just spit. Wanna feel you, all of you, please, Eddie, I need this, I need you, please, "Buck babbles. 

“Buck, are-are you sure? I don't wanna hurt you,” Eddie says, still running fingers through Buck’s wild curls.

“‘m sure. Need you,” he says, looking up at Eddie with wide eyes. 

Eddie just nods, leaning down and sucking a mark onto Buck's neck, adding to the collection in various stages of healing. “So fucking perfect for me, baby,” he murmurs against Buck’s skin, scraping his teeth against the sensitive skin, feeling the goosebumps appear under his lips making him smile.

“Please, sir, can’t wait anymore,” Buck begs. Eddie pulls back, looking down at the mess Buck has become beneath him, and feels a sick sense of pride swell when he sees the tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. He leans down, kissing over the wet trail, salty liquid hitting his tongue as he cleans Buck up. 

“It’s okay, mi sol, I’m going to take care of you. Gonna make you feel so good, you’re okay,” Eddie comforts. 

He positions himself in between Buck’s legs, spreading them a little wider, lifting his knees up toward his chest a bit to expose his hole, clenching around nothing, needing to be filled. 

Eddie looks at Buck spread out, naked, panting, needy, desperate under him and it lights a fire inside him. He's already back at full hardness, Buck pretty much completely overriding his refectory period. He doesn't even need to try to gather up his spit, because one look at Buck below him and he's salivating like a fucking dog. 

He lowers his head, getting closer to Buck, and lets the spit trail out of his mouth onto Buck's hole, which twitches under the contact as Buck moans at the sensation. He raises his other hand to his mouth, licks his fingers, spitting into his palm and coats his cock, trying to make sure he's as wet as possible - he knows what Buck said, but he can't help but be concerned for him, needing to make sure he's okay.

Once he feels well-lubricated, he shuffles forward on his knees, lining himself up, nudging at Buck’s entrance with his blunt head. He pushes inside slowly, tip popping past the muscle and making them both groan. 

"Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking tight for me,” Eddie grunts, head falling back as his eyes slide shut. He's already come twice, but just being inside Buck has him close again. He can't look at Buck or he'll come already— he has slightly more empathy for the Buck from five minutes ago, knowing how hard it is to keep your eyes open when all you want to do is blow your load.

Buck is, objectively, one of the most gorgeous men to ever walk the planet. Buck is, subjectively, the single most attractive person that has ever existed in the history of the world. There's not another person on the planet – past, present or future – that could ever make him feel a fraction of what Buck does. He knows it is for the best for everyone for him to ignore it, but he can't help the glow in his chest when he looks at the man below him. And a glowing chest doesn't have a place here – not when he's fucking his best friend in order to fake date him better, not when he's doing this because he knows it's what Buck needs. 

“More, please,” Buck begs again. 

Eddie looks back down at Buck, making sure he's okay as he pushes the rest of the way in. Once he's bottomed out, and the only thing on Buck's face is pure bliss, he can't help himself – he loses it a little. He is just committing entirely to distracting Buck, dedicated to fucking every thought – negative or otherwise at this point – out of his pretty little head, barely able to put two coherent words together, that’s all. He’s just being a damn good friend. 

He folds himself over Buck, putting nearly all his weight on his forearms and Buck's chest as he lays on top of him. He nozzles into Buck's neck, kissing the skin there, tasting the faint salt from his sweat as he stretches his neck to allow Eddie better access. He sets a slow pace, rolling his hips into Buck, bottoming out slowly and grinding into him, making sure Buck feels every inch, making sure he hits every spot inside of Buck.

He feels that familiar urge beginning, and he doesn't have the strength or desire to fight it – he wouldn't be able to even if he tried. His teeth ground themselves in Buck's skin, biting into his neck like that's exactly where they belong – and maybe it is, maybe his teeth were simply made to sink into Buck, made to latch onto him, made to connect them in a way he doesn't connect with anyone else. 

“So fucking perfect for me, baby, always so good for me. Feel so good around my cock, waited so patiently for me, so fucking good," Eddie pants. 

He's never been into biting before, never understood what could feel so good about it. It was something people were taught not to do all the time, something people used to get in trouble for growing up. Eddie never was a biter, never bit anyone before... until Buck. He doesn't know what came over him, doesn't know why he feels this way, doesn't know what brought it on – the only thing he knows is that he couldn't deny the want, the need, couldn't stop himself. And once he gave in the first time, it was a slippery slope from there. He has to be able to sink his teeth in Buck when he wants or he might die – he tries not to think about what that might mean for when they go home. 

Buck brings out a lot in him that nobody else seems to, but he can't focus on that – he agreed to keep that locked away, he can't think about it or that it’s not gonna happen. He needs to focus on Buck, his friend, because that's all Buck is going to be, and that is enough. Has to be. The painful reminder that he has this but he can't have this stabs like a knife to his gut, and he knows he needs to lock in, focus on every single detail, pay attention to the way their skin slaps together, the way Buck clenches around him, the way his parted lips have little hurt noises of pleasure falling from them with every thrust. If this is temporary, he's going to make the most of it.

He bites and sucks marks into the sides of Buck’s neck, into his shoulders, probably pushing the line of pain, but he can't find it in himself to pull back, to minimize the power. He's ramming into Buck full throttle, arms wrapped around his shoulders to give him leverage, pulling Buck down onto his cock as much as he is using his hips to thrust into him. Buck's hands are wrapped around Eddie's back, keeping him close, fingernails digging into his skin, leaving crescent shaped marks behind Eddie revels in the feeling of being marked by Buck, and mourns the fact that they will fade quickly. 

Eddie is giving him everything, hard, deep, fast strokes that leave him breathless, heat pooling in his gut. 

Buck's entire neck is wet from where Eddie has been working on it, shades of pink, red, and purple already smattering across his creamy skin, and the sight should quell some of his hunger, but it does the opposite. He's insatiable, he needs to keep going, working to fulfill... something, but he’s not even sure what yet. 

“Eddie, please…harder,” Buck whines, and Eddie can feel the vibration of his throat under his lips.

When the words actually process for him, his rhythm falters. “Buck, I-“

"Bite harder, please," he says. Eddie almost comes from those words alone.

He dives back in with abandon now, giving Buck everything he has just shy of hurting him. It's when his teeth are deep in Buck's shoulder that he asks again. "Harder, please Eddie, god, I'm so close, please, I need it, please, fuck,” he babbles. 

And, well, what Buck wants, Buck gets. Eddie is slamming into him, using every muscle he has to pull Buck onto his cock from under him, hips rolling and rubbing himself into that perfect spot in Buck with every thrust. Buck’s dragging his fingernails down Eddie's back, grabbing at his shoulders, his ass, his hips, trying to just fucking hold on to him, legs wrapped around him, helping to push Eddie into him.

He didn't mean for it to happen. He really didn't. But he can't say he's sorry that it did. The sharp tips of his canine puncture Buck’s skin, and warm, coppery liquid floods his tongue. He's tasted blood before – his own when he's gotten a paper cut and pulled a finger into his mouth to try and stop the bleeding, nicked himself when cooking, things of that nature. 

The point is, it's not the first time he's had blood in his mouth. But it's the first time he's enjoyed having blood in his mouth. If it wasn't Buck under him, he would probably be concerned. What sane, normal person moans because someone else's blood is in their mouth? Under any normal circumstance, he would say that's weird – maybe not disgusting, per se, but definitely not for him. But it's Buck. Another layer of connection, another piece of Buck that he gets that nobody else gets, it drives him insane. He's inside of Buck and part of Buck is inside of him, and is going to stay there. 

However, he knows logically, somewhere deep in his brain, that that probably hurts and his concern for Buck is able to break through the haze of lust. He loosens his jaw and is about to pull back and check on him, when Buck's hand flies to the back of his head, gripping his hair and keeping him from moving. 

“Please,” Buck whispers brokenly.

So as disgusted as maybe he should be by this development, all he can feel is need. And knowing Buck wants him to? He's unstoppable. He seals his lips around the wound and sucks hard, getting another burst of Buck on his tongue, making him groan against the skin that has been left open because of him. 

At the feeling, Buck can't keep it in any longer – he tips over the edge shooting ropes of come where his cock is trapped between their bodies. His eyes roll back in his head, fingers digging into wherever they've landed on Eddie, hips jerking to fuck himself on Eddie's cock, trying to get some friction on his own. He swears he sees stars, like real cartoon stars shining around on the back of his eyelids, loud and unabashed noises being pulled from his chest. 

Having Eddie's teeth in him, hard enough to break the skin, having Eddie literally sucking his fucking blood right now is not something he ever thought would turn him on so much to the point of blowing his load without permissions from himself or from Eddie – but that is absolutely what just happened. 

He's feral for it, one hand firmly holding Eddie’s head in place, needing to feel his canines in his neck, one hand clawing at Eddie's back as he's fucked through his orgasm, prolonging it, sending him higher and higher into the atmosphere as his body tries to yet him to dome down and Eddie just keeps going. 

He needs more – more of Eddie in every way, but this is the only way he is allowed to get more of Eddie and only for the next few days so he's not going to waste this opportunity. He's starving and the only thing he has an appetite for is the man on top of him. He's trying to get Eddie closer, scratching at his back for leverage to crush their chests to gather, legs wrapping around Eddie's waist, every possible inch of skin pressed together, burning hot, slick with sweat. 

"Fuck, baby, feel so fucking good, Eds. Gonna come for me? Gonna come for your slut with my blood on your tongue? Gonna come inside me and plug me up, you staying in me, and me staying in you?" Buck pants, hand from Eddie's hair releasing his grip and trailing a finger down the side of Buck's neck, following the pain his own blood is taking down Eddie's throat and groans. 

Eddie thrusts one more time and then he's releasing muffled gasps and moans into Buck's shoulder where he's still attached as he buries himself to the hilt inside of Buck, spilling his load inside his tight channel as Buck clenches around him his own little uh uh uh’s leaving his lips as Eddie grinds into him. 

Eddie finally retracts his teeth from Buck’s skin, tongue immediately soothing over the area, trying to provide him comfort and lapping up any mess left behind. Buck shivers under his touch, and he tries not to smile. He places a kiss next to his mark, and finally pulls back to look at Buck, running eyes over his dazed, glowing face. 

“You okay?” he whispers, reaching a hand up and running his palm over his messy curls. 

“Never been better.” 

“Hang tight, I'll clean you up.” 

Eddie gets ready to slide off the bed, but Buck’s fingers around his wrist still him, and he looks back over at Buck with a confused look on his face. “Don't leave me,” Buck whispers. 

“I'll be right back, just gotta wash you up,” Eddie says looking toward the bathroom just a few feet away. 

“Not ready. Please, stay with me,” Buck pleads. Eddie immediately folds – as he always does when it comes to Buck – and lays down next to Buck, pulling him into his arms, Buck’s back to his chest until they're curled up together, arms and legs intertwined, come becoming tacky on their skin, leaking out of Buck, but neither of them care. 

They lay together for a long while. Buck’s breathing has become slow and steady, and Eddie is about to lift his head to see if he has fallen asleep when he speaks. “Thanks for being here, Eds,” Buck says quietly, voice wavering. 

“Nowhere else I’d rather be… Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asks. 

Buck sighs and rolls over in Eddie's arms so they're chest to chest, and he's looking up into his favorite brown eyes. How is he supposed to tell his best friend that the best thing he could do for him is to cut him off? To live a happy life where he doesn't have the potential to ruin it. Eddie's happiness is everything to him, and the one thing to guarantee his happiness is to make sure Buck isn't in his life. 

“I…she just opened my eyes to some things, that's all.” 

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, just. Was a reminder for me, that's all.” 

“Buck,” Eddie says, soft yet firm, and Buck sighs again, knowing he won't be able to avoid it. 

“She didn't say anything that wasn't true. Just that you, you and Chris, would be better off without me. Whole team would. It’s nothing l didn't already know, but didn't feel good to hear, that’s all.” 

“Buck," Eddie says, pushing himself up on his elbow so he can hover over Buck, making sure he's in Buck's line of sight. "B, I need you to hear me when I say this, can you do that for me?” he asks softly, using his free hand to cup Buck’s face, gently stroking his thumb across his cheek.

Buck's breath hitches in his throat, chest feeling tight. He just nods.

"Do you trust me?" Eddie asks. Buck nods again, a little more emphatically, making Eddie smile. “Then I need you to please believe me when I tell you that everything she says about you is a lie."

Buck’s face crumples, tears filling his eyes. "Eddie, she said –" his voice cracks, and Eddie leans down, wrapping his arms around him as best he can while he's still laying flat on the bed, nuzzling his face into Buck's neck.

“It doesn't matter what she said, baby. She doesn't know you. I know you. Chris knows you. Maddie knows you, Bobby and Athena know you, the team knows you. We know you and we all love you, Buck, that has to mean something, right?” he murmurs into the soft skin between Buck's neck and shoulder, unable to snow Buck his face, afraid Buck will see just how much he means it, terrified it will ruin everything.

"It means everything. It does. I-I just. I think we need to break up."

Logically, Eddie knows this is not a real relationship. He knows they're faking it temporarily, and he even, unfortunately, vividly remembers that he is actually the one who started this. In the logical part of his brain, he knows this. But that doesn't stop his heart from dropping to the floor, dread, heartbreak, hurt, rejection crashing over him.

He pulls his head back to look at Buck, sees the shine of determination in his blue eyes and knows there's nothing he can do to change his mind when he's like this. But fuck if he can't help but try. He feels like everything he has ever wanted is slipping through his fingertips – which is ridiculous, a little voice reminds him, because in just a few days it was all going to go away anyway. 

"What?” he says, tone desperate, frantic. 

“Yeah, listen, I've been thinking about this," Buck says as he pushes himself up into a sitting position, back resting against the headboard, blanket pooling around his waist, Eddie fully turning his body to look at him. His eyes can't help but track down his wide expanse of chest as he situates himself comfortably, and then Buck's words run into him again, and he snaps his eyes up to Buck is face, trying to get a good read on his thoughts and feelings, but he's completely, frustratingly, neutral. "I think the best way to get you out of this is to break up. In front of my parents. They already know you’re too good for me, so it makes sense for you to do it, they'll believe it that way. And, well, since we can't very well break up at a wedding, you have to do it tomorrow," Buck explains. 

Eddie feels like he has fully lost the ability to understand the English language. “What?” he asks again, shaking his head as if that will help him get his brain plugged back in. 

“Well, and then after that, you don't have to come to the wedding, you can just go home early! Here, I'll check the flights, see it I can get you on something for tomorrow afternoon, that should be enough time, it's not like the break up needs to take that long," he shrugs, reaching a long arm over past Eddie, trying to get to his phone which is resting on the nightstand. 

Eddie doesn't think, he just acts. In one swift move, he swings his leg over Buck's hips so he's straddling his lap, ass resting on his thighs, and his hand reaches out to stop Buck’s, long fingers wrapping around his wrist and pulling it up, pinning it to the head board above him. 

Buck looks up at him in surprise, but Eddie is just holding him still, looking down at him, breathing heavily. He didn't think this through, didn't think about what he was going to say, didn't think about the fact that they're both still naked, warm skin rubbing together in a way he's currently trying to ignore.

“Eddie, wha-“ 

“No,” Eddie interrupts.

Buck's tongue darts out to lick his lips, looking up at Eddie through his lashes since, in this position on his lap, leaned forward to press his arm to the head board, he's nearly entirely on top of him.

"No what?"

"No to all of it. No, I'm not breaking up with you, no, I'm not doing it tomorrow, no, I'm not going home without you, just – no.” 

"Eddie, come on, i-it's a good idea, I think it will work out for both of us-“ 

"Buck, what did I just say?” Eddie says, exasperated, pressing firmly, but not painfully, on the wrist he still has trapped in his hand.

"That you're not going to do that, "Buck says quietly. 

"How many times do I have to tell you that you are mine...this week. How many times do I have to say you belong to me, I'm your boyfriend, you’re mine. Is it once more? You're mine, Buck, and I'm going to make you believe that one way or another." 

He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss next to the bite mark he just left on Buck's skin. He swings his leg back off of Buck, letting go of Buck’s arm, slipping off the bed and standing next to it. He has to hold back his smirk when he looks back up at Buck and sees that he still hasn't moved a muscle, arm still above his head, pressed into the head board like Eddie himself is still holding it there.

"Get up,” Eddie orders, and immediately, Buck is scrambling to stand up, waiting next to Eddie with baited breath for his next instruction which has heat skirting down Eddie's spine. Eddie grabs his hand and leads him to the small, narrow hallway by the front door. 

"Sit down,” Eddie instructs, pointing at the area of floor right in front of the full length mirror nailed into the wall. Buck is so tall that he has to spread his legs so he has a foot pressed into the wall on either side of the mirror.

"What are you doing?" Buck asks, confused, but still putting himself in the position Eddie asked of him. 

"You wait here, touch yourself but don't come,” Eddie says. 

He starts to turn to walk away, but can't quite help himself. He turns back to look at Buck who is still looking up at him and, like the good boy he is, has already wrapped a hand around himself and is stroking his half-hard cock. Eddie smirks at the sight, just watching him for a moment. Then, he leans over, positioning himself above Buck's now fully hard cock and spits, letting the saliva trail from his lips to Buck's tip. Eddie hears a doll thud at the contact, and he knows Buck is head just hit the wall as a groan hits the air. Satisfied, Eddie turns, walks back into the bedroom area to pick something up, and closes himself in the bathroom.

He takes a second, palms pressed to the bathroom counter, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, taking a few deep breaths. Now that he's alone, suddenly he's a little nervous. It's easier when he's with Buck – everything is easier when he's with Buck. Buck has done this to him before, but he's never done it to himself. There’s a first time for everything. 

He grabs the lube he took from the bedroom and opens it, coating his fingers. Then he looks around, trying to figure out the easiest way to do this. He ends up with one foot on top of the toilet seat, reaching down and using his index finger to circle his hole, making himself gasp. He takes another deep breath, and pushes his finger in slowly, until it's as deep as he can get at this angle. He swallows his moan as he begins to finger himself, digit sliding in and out slowly, movement eased by copious amounts of lube. 

Once his finger moves easily and he feels greedy, ready for more, he slips his middle finger in alongside the first, unable to stop his grunt of pleasure at feeling so full already, feeling himself stretch around his fingers.

“Eds, you okay?” Buck asks from the hallway. Eddie must have been louder than he thought.

“Mmhm, fine.” 

He scissors his fingers as best he can in this position. Working himself open, practically grinding down on his hands. The desire to feel Buck inside him is almost overwhelming at this point, and he's starting to get impatient. Once he's able to fit in a third finger, he decides he's fine.

He pulls out, hole clenching at the loss, and washes his hands. Then he grabs a hand towel and squirts more lube in his palm before opening the door and going back to Buck, who is still stroking himself on the floor in the hallway. Eddie bites back his grin, instead going over to him and kneeing next to him, placing the hand towel on the floor.

“Eddie, I–” Buck cuts himself off, biting down on his bottom lip. Eddie takes his clean hand, using his thumb to untuck his lip. 

"Want to hear you, Buck. Those noises belong to me, I want to hear them." Buck's mouth falls open and his breath comes in pants. Eddie's hand then falls to his wrist, pulling his hand off his cock, listening to the way he wines at the loss. Eddie takes his lubed up palm and wraps it around Buck, both of them giving a sign of relief at the contact. Buck is so lost in the sensation of Eddie's touch he doesn't even realize that Eddie is slicking him up, coating him. 

Once Eddie is satisfied with that, he grabs the towel, wiping off the excess lube, meeting Buck's dazed eyes. He leans in, placing a kiss to Buck's birthmark, then a kiss in his curls. Then, he swings his leg over Buck, Buck's hands instantly going to his waist to keep him steady, and to ground himself. Eddie's back is to Buck's chest, both of them facing the mirror.

Eddie reaches back to grab Buck’s cock, lining it up with his entrance, and Buck’s head dips to watch. "Eyes on me,” Eddie says simply, blue eyes flick up to meet his in the mirror, and Eddie watches as his breathing becomes uneven, flush spreading across his cheeks, down his chest. Eddie sinks slowly on to Buck's cock, gasping as the head pushes through his entrance, feeling his walls clenching down on every inch until Buck is fully seated in him. Their eyes are still connected, both of them breathing heavily, mouths open. Eddie gives himself a moment to adjust to the feeling, giving an experimental roll of his hips, making Buck groan, head falling back against the wall again.

Eddie reaches an arm back, fingers curling in the hair at the bottom of Buck's skull, working to lift his head. "I said, watch me." He feels and sees Buck’s gaze trail across his body in the mirror, looking at his face, his neck, his chest, and coming to a rest where they're connected, where Eddie's cook is flushed and leaking against his stomach. "You are so beautiful," Buck breathes, reaching an arm around, trailing fingers up Eddie's stomach, watching the way his abs contract under the touch. Eddie's back is pressed fully to Buck's front, arm still lifted above him to cradle Buck's head in his hand. 

Buck leans forward a bit, capturing Eddie's neck with his lips, eyes moving back up to Eddie's face, where he's watching reverently. Eddie's head tips back, falling to Buck's shoulder, giving him more access, fingers scratching at his scalp, encouraging him. Eddie's hips roll again, giving them both some relief, and Buck’s teeth sink into Eddie's neck.

“Fuck, baby, feel so good,” Eddie pants, and Buck hums his agreement into Eddie's skin, making goosebumps appear across his shoulders.

Eddie can't take it anymore – he lifts his hips, letting Buck nearly slip out of himself before he lowers back down. He sets a slow, simple pace. He doesn't have to chase pleasure, not with Buck. Not when every moment is filled with it. He fucks himself leisurely on Buck's cook, letting himself feel every inch of Buck, the two of them watching each other in the mirror. 

Buck is feeling handsy, both hands roaming Eddie's body as he continues to suck marks into his skin. He loves being marked up by Eddie, loves carrying around evidence of their bond. Having Eddie's bite on him is something he didn't know he's been missing his whole life, and now he's not sure he can go back to not having it. 

He wonders briefly if Eddie would still bite him if he asks for it when they get home, or maybe, insanely, he wonders if he should just have it tattooed, a permanent reminder of their friendship. He loves being marked up by Eddie, feeling claimed by his best friend, but he loves seeing his marks on Eddie equally as much. Likes looking across the room and knowing Eddie is wearing a piece of him, knowing that anyone who looks at Eddie knows he already has someone important, knows Eddie belongs to Buck.

“Don’t you see, B, I’m yours and you are mine. Always have been, always will be. Say it.” 

"I'm yours, Eddie," Buck says softly, pressing open mouthed kisses along Eddie's shoulder.

“And?”

Buck pulls back, searching Eddie's face. "You’re mine.”

“Good boy,” Eddie praises, making Buck whimper. Eddie picks up his pace a little, thighs burning with effort, but pleasure far outweighing any pain. "Tell me again, Buck, please," Eddie requests, breathless, voice cracking at the edges. 

"I belong to you, Eds, I'm yours, always. Only yours. You're mine. My boyfriend. Fuck, Eds, feel so fucking good, so tight around me, squeezing me like you never want me to leave. You were made for me, made to take my cook, made to be mine. Fuck," he babbles, opening the floodgates to his inner stream of consciousness. Eddie groans at his words, getting pushed to the edge just from hearing Buck speak about him like that, hearing the rawness, the possessiveness in his voice, and fuck if that doesn't have his spine tingling. 

“Shit, Buck, ‘m close.” 

"Gonna come for me, baby? Gonna come riding my cook? Look at me, Eddie,” Buck demands, and their eyes meet again in the mirror. “So fucking pretty when you’re getting fucked, baby. So pretty when I fuck you. My boyfriend, my Eds, mine. I'm yours, baby, I'll prove it. Gonna fill you with my come, make sure you can feel me in you. Come on, baby, come on my cock, you can do it," he says, leaning forward a little bit to wrap an arm around Eddie. 

At first, he thinks he's going to stroke him where he's been neglected between his thighs, but Buck’s hand skirts up his stomach to his chest, thumb and forefinger rolling a nipple, making him moan. The shift in angle has Buck witting that perfect spot in him, and he's seeing stars as he is tipped over the edge, ropes of come shooting up and landing on his stomach and chest, Buck’s name on his tongue as Buck works him through it, pressing soft kisses to the area behind his ear, whispering encouragement and praise.

Eddie is sweaty, flushed, panting, and covered in his own come and Buck thinks he has never looked better. "Yours, "Eddie whispers, and it's over for him. He's pulling Eddie close against his chest, bottoming out as he spills into Eddie. 

Eddie's eyes stay on his the whole time, watching him through his orgasm. “Beautiful.” 

Bulk is breathless, chin resting on Eddie's shoulder as they stare at each other through the mirror. "So we're not breaking up, " Buck clarifies, smirk pulling at his lips.

Eddie rolls his eyes fondly. “No, Buck, we're not breaking up.”

They spend a few more minutes catching their breath, coming back down to earth. Eddie’s knees are eventually screaming at him, and he decides it’s time to get up. He lifts himself off of Buck's now soft cock, whining a little bit at the loss and the sensation of Buck’s come starting to shift in him, beginning to leak out. He wants it to stay, but knows that with gravity, that's unrealistic. 

He plants his palms in front of him, ready to push himself up when he hears a whispered “fuck” come from behind him and then feels Buck's fingers slide, gathering up all of the come that has dripped out of him, pushing his fingers back in Eddie's hole as if he, too, wants his come to stay inside of Eddie for as long as possible. He's languid, slow, thrusting two digits inside of Eddie, pausing every so often to scoop up more come that has seeped out around the intrusion. 

Eddie can't help the soft moans that are pulled from his throat, watching Buck in the mirror who is looking down, watching his own fingers disappearing inside of Eddie in awe. 

"Buck," Eddie rasps after one particular thrust has his cook jerking. He cannot go again, they need to get up and get cleaned and go to bed like responsible adults.

Buck meets his eyes in the mirrors giving him a cheeky grin. "Sorry,” he says, retracting his hand, running his clean hand down Eddie’s back. 

“C'mon, let's get cleaned up,” Eddie says, standing up with a grunt and holding his hand out to Buck to help him up, who takes it and leads him into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He pulls a couple tissues out of the holder, turning to face Eddie, starting to reach out to wipe the come off his chest, when he hesitates. Buck's eyes flick from Eddie's chest to his eyes and back again, pained noise in the back of his throat, as if he's struggling with something. Eddie is about to just grab the tissues from his hand and do it himself when Buck drops to his knees.

Eddie looks down at him, concern flooding his body until he realizes that Buck, in fact, did not collapse like he originally thought, but is holding Eddie's hips to keep him still as he stares at the spend on his torso.

“Buck?”

In lieu of an answer, Buck just leans in. Really, Eddie should have seen this coming, should have known that Buck wouldn't be able to resist. Buck starts by placing open-mouthed, wet kisses to Eddie's hips. If they're just going to get in the shower right away anyway, why not make it nice and messy? 

Eddie's head falls back between his shoulders, facing the ceiling with his eyes closed, savoring the sensation of burk's lips on his skin.

Realistically, there's probably only a handful of times left where Buck is going to be able to do this and he wants to make sure he's taking his time, enjoying every moment – memorizing the feel of Eddie's skin beneath his lips, the way his muscles move when his breath hitches or he's trying to hold himself still, the way he tastes. 

Eddie reaches out a hand blindly, threading it through Buck's curls. "So fucking good for me, B. So desperate to taste me you’re gonna lick my come off my stomach, aren't you, baby?” 

Buck groans, muffled by Eddie's abs where his lips are still pressing kisses, sucking marks, and he nods, nose bumping into Eddie. His tongue makes contact with Eddie's skin and he swears he goes feral. He still takes his time, not wanting to rush one of the last times he will feel Eddie's come on his tongue, but he has an overwhelming, desperate urge to get every drop licked off Eddie's perfect skin. He is licking, sucking, kissing and nipping every inch of Eddie, and Eddie just lets him, looking down at him with dark eyes.

It isn't until Buck is nearly done and ready to stand back up that he realizes Eddie is again. He can’t help the smirk that spreads across his face at the knowledge that he turned Eddie on – and not only that but that he turned Eddie on literally licking his own come off his body, one of Buck’s very favorite things to happen this week…among others. He looks up and notices Eddie watching him, and it seems like a no brainer. 

Eddie’s cock is back in his mouth before he can even think twice about it, taking him to the base, feeling the weight of him on his tongue. Eddie’s cursing above him, hand running through his curls. Buck’s hands come up and grip Eddie’s thighs, needing to ground himself so he stays present in the moment. The sounds Eddie’s making as he works him with his mouth is like music to his ears – he always likes knowing he is bringing his partner please, likes knowing he’s doing a good job, making them feel good – but Eddie? Buck swears he could come from Eddie’s noises alone. Knowing he is making Eddie feel good, knowing Eddie is enjoying him, knowing Eddie is on the receiving end of this just makes it infinitely better. Everything is better with Eddie. 

Eddie lets him work for a little bit – and he loves every second of it – and then pulls him off, much to Buck’s displeasure. Buck opens his mouth, ready to beg Eddie to let him keep going, ready to absolutely humiliate himself over how much he wants this, how much he needs this, but all of his words get stuck in his throat as Eddie leans down, pressing kisses all over his face. 

“C’mon, let’s get you off that leg,” Eddie says gently, pulling him up and guiding him into the warm shower. 

“But I–” 

“‘M gonna take care of you, Buck, don’t worry. Just need to get you off the floor,” Eddie says, stepping into the shower with him and crowding his space, stepping so he is inches away. His eyes rake over Buck, taking in the sight before him. “Seeing you so wrecked and needy – might be my favorite thing ever.” 

Buck’s back hits the shower wall, the cool tile a stark contrast to the pure heat his body is producing and the warm water.  

“Fuck, Eds.” 

Eddie wraps one large hand around himself and Buck, who is now also hard and leaking, both of them letting out a groan as their cocks meet, rubbing together. Eddie’s free hand comes up next to Buck’s head, and Eddie braces himself against the wall, using his other hand to jerk them both slowly. 

Buck can’t tear his gaze from the sight before him, watching Eddie’s face as he works them both with his fist. He fights to keep his eyes open, experience heightened when he’s able to see Eddie as well as feel him. 

Eddie might be the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life – his cheeks are rosy, flushed a deep pink, water is cascading down his body – he looks like he’s been carved out of marble. Beads of water cling to his hair, his eyelashes, and he’s looking up at Buck through them and – yep. Edmundo Diaz is the perfect person. He looks like he was sculpted by God himself, the single most attractive person to ever grace the universe – he’s kind, and caring, and competent, and sweet, and such a good dad. He’s everything – everything anyone with a brain could ever want to find in someone and he’s Buck’s. 

Well, he’s Buck’s best friend and right now, that’s good enough. It has to be. He hopes one day, when he finds someone for real, they’re just like Eddie. 

“Eddie, please,” Buck whimpers. All the thoughts of Eddie in his brain have him closer than he realized, and he’s nearly there already. 

“What were you thinking about?” 

The question is unexpected, and makes his head clear a little from the lust filled haze he was in. “You. I’m always thinking about you,” he breathes. He almost regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth – he knows that is so not what he should be saying while they’re…practicing, knows the words are a little too real, a little too true. 

An apology is on the tip of his tongue, but Eddie drops his head to his shoulder, forehead resting there, grunted fuck still lingering in the air, and Buck knows an apology is not necessary. “You really are perfect for me,” Eddie whispers, and Buck’s hand comes up to grip Eddie’s hair, pulling his head back so he can see his eyes again. 

“Eddie, I–” 

“Tell me more,” Eddie interrupts, eyes dark and heated, searing into him. 

“Well, uh…” Buck swallows roughly. 

“Go ahead, baby, let it out. Let me hear what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.” 

“Was just thinking about you. About how incredible you are. Your body, your mind, your heart. Like you were put on this planet to show us what true perfection is. Was thinking that I need you, need this with you. Fuck, feel so good Eds, I’m–” he breaks off, chest heaving. 

“Come with me, Buck, need to see you, need to feel it, come on, baby, come for me.” 

And what Eddie asks, Buck provides – one more pump of Eddie’s hand and he’s gone, spilling his load onto Eddie’s fingers and wrist. At seeing the look of divine pleasure on Buck’s face, feeling him pulse against his palm, he follows, the two of them mixing together as the water washes their spend down the drain. Eddie knows it's time to get Buck into bed when he lets it happen. 

He makes quick work of cleaning them up – they'll have to take a real shower in the morning, but this is good enough for now. Eddie's hands work methodically and tenderly over Buck’s body, making sure he is clean and comfortable before scrubbing himself down in a haste. 

He turns off the water, pulls Buck out of the shower and dries him off, getting him dressed in sweatpants and a worn tshirt, pulling on a pair of sweats himself and leading them both to the bed. Buck allows himself to be dressed and follows Eddie easily – fucked out, floating in bliss and utterly exhausted, pain meds finally kicking in and relieving some of his discomfort. 

Eddie always takes care of him, always makes sure he has what he needs. Eddie’s so nice. 

Eddie holds up the blanket for him as he settles on the bed, lowering it gently and leaning down to press a kiss to Buck’s cheek. Buck tries to bite back the smile that blooms on his face at the gesture, feeling warm, cozy, cared for…loved. Eddie’s such a good friend. 

Eddie rounds the bed and crawls into bed next to Buck, laying on his side, watching him. Buck can’t help but roll his head to the side, smiling at Eddie. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Why are you looking at me?” 

“Not bad to look at, Buck,” Eddie jokes, smiling. Buck’s heart pounds in his chest, and he tries his best to ignore it. 

“You’re ridiculous,” he says, laughing. 

“Not my fault you’re hot,” Eddie grumbles. 

“Roll over and let’s go to sleep,” Buck is grinning even as he says the words. 

Eddie does, rolling onto his other side, feeling Buck scooch closer, plastering himself to Eddie’s back. He’s been sleeping better since they got here – he knows it’s because he’s sleeping next to Eddie, but he’s going to pretend like it’s just because he’s more tired after dealing with his parents. 

He has an arm slung low over Eddie’s hips, effectively trapping Eddie against him, and he has a moment of panic. They’ve been sleeping like this a lot – one of them tucked against the other’s front – but just because it has happened in the past doesn’t mean he shouldn’t proceed with caution. He tenses, and is about to pull back and roll over, content to just sleep next to Eddie, when Eddie reaches down, intertwining their fingers. 

Buck relaxes against him, fitting against him perfectly. Like they were made for each other. In some way they were – no two people can be as perfect for each other in every way and not have been created for the sole purpose of finding each other. Well…perfect in every way for each other but one. 

His gut twists, an unpleasant sweetness settling there as a fact that he knew, but has dutifully ignored for seven long years seeps into his mind at the most mundane gesture of Eddie lifting his hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against his fingers – if Eddie was an option for him, he would probably be head over heels in love with this man. 

But Eddie is straight. With a kid. He isn’t an option, he will never be an option. Buck mentally bats the thought out of his brain – he simply cannot be thinking about this. What a slippery fucking slope – and one he has no time for. Once they get back to LA, it’ll be normal again and easier – easier to ignore, easier to pretend, easier to accept and move on. 

It’s harder to force the words out of his mind when Eddie is wrapped up in his arms.

He places a kiss on the back of Eddie’s neck, and Eddie snuggles deeper, pulling Buck’s arms tighter around him. 

Yeah, he’s so fucked.