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The File: Dumb Texts Behind The Scenes by denimbeans
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
22 Aug 2025
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Summary
PJ: i almost suplexed your child
TS: what?????
PJ: i was in the garage. he was in the garage. I was unaware of who he was
TS: did you punch him?
TS: i swear to god
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YES i needed to make a gc fic to soothe my soul. do not question me.
Series
- Part 5 of The File
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flying without a body by WHYISEVERYNAMETAKEN
Fandoms: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
03 Feb 2025
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Summary
The Riddler halts. Pauses.
“What the fuck, dude?” He finally exclaims, breaking all melodramatic pretenses and slamming his hands down on the table, “Either listen to the goddamn riddle or let me kill you so we can get this exchange over with!”
Peter nods, “Sorry, sorry, my bad on that one. I finally remembered the word I was thinking of. Here, let’s make a deal this time - cross my heart I’ll keep it - so if I can’t solve your riddle you get to…” Peter gestures, leaving it open ended, and the Riddler seems to perk up.
“Kill you in a blaze of glory,” he finishes, primly, and the melodrama returns as he crosses his legs and re-steeples his hands, “And if you win? I must be fair, after all.”
“Uhh… would you mind telling me where I am?”
OR
Peter's greatest enemy is time management and also maybe the hoard of superheroes that are crawling all over Gotham.
(The Amazing Spider-Man version of Peter Parker - don't have to watch the movies to understand, but there are references to the films.)
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Tim Drake never actually wanted to become part of the Robin-Batman-vigilante outfit. No, really. But the last Robin up and died, and now Batman is going crazy, and no one else is doing anything about it, so...Tim decides to become Robin. He might as well, right? At the very least it'll give him something to do while his parents are gone.
Still, Tim's not taking up the mantle until he can put a couple of things in order. Step one? Making sure the Joker can't get it into his head to kill another Robin. Not ever again. (Good thing Tim's not the one with a 'no killing' rule.)
And then after that? Well, after that it's only just a matter of keeping Batman from learning Tim's identity and subsequently chasing him off. Not until Bruce can get back on his feet and pick a new Robin, a real one this time. Easy-peasy.
Sort of.
(Updates Mondays and Thursdays)
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time flies by (bye) by WHYISEVERYNAMETAKEN
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Batman - All Media Types
26 May 2024
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Summary
"Maybe," Peter thought, "I can make a life here."
Hence the tears and the guilt and the grief, because was Peter allowed to move on? Was he allowed to… to leave it all behind? Leave all the bad things in the past?
Peter was "The Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!" after all, and wasn’t he letting Queens - his people - down if he didn’t fight tooth and nail to get back to them?
orPeter's tired. He's so tired, and he doesn't know what to do, but maybe things will get better.
(They do.)
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OR
Spider-Man: Finally Home
technically inspired by Dark Matter by mysterycyclone but really only the "Peter in the DC Universe" partSeries
- Part 1 of Spider-Man: Finally Home
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Summary
Zuko had never excelled at anything. Azula was a prodigy. Uncle always knew what to say. And Father... Father was strong, iron-like. But Zuko had only ever been good at surviving. Putting one foot in front of the other in a grim show of stubborn determination, gritting his teeth and bearing it. Survival was all he had ever been taught. He knew how to do it. So when he was kidnapped by the Southern Water Tribe, he expected to fight as he always had. He didn’t expect to be taught instead how to live.
In a warring land, the Water Tribe forgave the enemy in an act of defiance. For this, he was torn from them, and this time, his wounds won't heal so easily.
Forced back into nothing but survival, the last person Zuko expected to see was Hakoda's son. Hakoda was a promise of safety. The relentless blue of Sokka’s eyes was a promise of happiness. Zuko could have both if he just reached out his hands, but he found them clutching into fists. After all, he’d been burned one too many times.
But hey, at least between Hakoda and Sokka, Zuko could appreciate the family resemblance of pure, asinine stubbornness.
PODFIC AND TRANSLATIONS AVAILABLE
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Local Billionaire Drunkenly Showers Children with Tears and Affection by SolaceInSpace
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
01 Feb 2024
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Summary
Bruce was an emotional drunk with zero shame and the clingiest to put cling wrap to shame.
Bruce sobbed and flashed sad eyes at Alfred. “Alfie, my babies didn’t say they love me back. They don’t love me.”
Dick quickly ducked under Bruce’s arm and hugged him with all his might. “Aw, Bruce, I love you too. You should get drunk more often.”
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all of your colonies and continental divides by magpieCastiel for cmdonovann
Fandoms: National Treasure (Movies)
25 Dec 2023
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Summary
Riley and Ben have been together for years. Neither of them is aware of this.
In between hunting for clues in archives and tombs, stealing the written equivalent of a national monument, and finding the greatest treasure known to man, they figure it out.
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Back when Tim's parents still cared about him. Back when his Dad actually paid attention to him.
When they would still celebrate his birthday.
Tim would always receive Dad Bucks™
He was told he could buy anything he ever wanted using that money.
However, since Jack and Janet Drake were always out of the country, he was never able to cash in anything from his dad.
But Bruce Wayne, who lives next door, is a dad...
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Whoops, time to break out the body-dissolving acid by AddictedApple
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
14 Oct 2023
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Summary
Dying was natural. If there was anything natural about being beaten to death by a clown with a crowbar and blown up. Coming back to life was less natural, but not unheard of. Jason would personally not recommend having to dig your way out of your grave, but whatever universe-controlling entity that was running this show didn’t seem to care for his opinions.
Dying twice was just a natural consequence of his resurrection. Sure, he’d expected to be kicking around for more than a year or so after his miraculous return, but he supposed accidentally spooking a tiny assassin child and getting stabbed to death was a funny enough way to go. His life was a joke after all.
Now, coming back to life a second time was completely unexpected.
(A Titans Tower AU where Death doesn’t seem to stick for Jason Todd anymore, but Tim doesn’t know that when he accidentally kills him.)
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"Richard is perfectly adequate in the role of both father and mother. And thus, must be celebrated accordingly."
Damian believes that Dick deserves to be celebrated on both Mother's and Father's Day.
Tim agrees.
Bruce does not.
Series
- Part 12 of Batfamily Fluff
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Making Waves by feeling_the_aster_9145
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon), Justice League - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
09 Sep 2023
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Persephone ‘Percy’ Jackson has never been one to sit still, especially not at a desk, for hours a day, most days a year. After her thinning patience snaps, an inconvenient robbery and a well timed appearance from Bludhaven’s hero, Nightwing, starts Percy on an exciting new journey.
Now she’s got a whole new set of problems, like managing her ruined sleep schedule and getting blood out of Kevlar. And who’s that cop that keeps popping up everywhere?
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Tim dresses up as the girl from The Ring to play the ultimate prank on Kon.
Jason has put the Tower on lockdown and is on the hunt for Robin.
These two things are not a good combination.
Series
- Part 16 of Batfamily Fluff
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to die, to sleep; (-to sleep: perchance to dream) by llamallamaduck
Fandoms: Naruto, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
07 Jun 2023
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Summary
It’s not the pain he minds, in the end, nor the flames. He’s an Uchiha, fire is his lifeblood. No, it’s the waking up. That, he minds.
Series
- Part 1 of the distant strains of triumph
- Part 1 of Set in Tolkien-world
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***
"Techno?"
"Yeah Tommy?"
"What does the sky look like?"
Techno paused, the question, like most of Tommy's questions made his heart ache for reasons he didn't understand.
"I'll show it to you one day" he doesn't know why he says that, he knows by now not to make promises he doesn't know he can keep.
"Really?"
"I promise" and he swears to himself he'll find a way to keep it.
***
Or Techno is a hero on a mission that quickly gets derailed when he meets Tommy, a boy who's spent his whole life locked in one room with only Dream, the biggest villain of the century, for company.
Series
- Part 1 of Born to Fly, Destined to Burn
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Searching For Something You Can't Reach by enoby_w
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
03 May 2023
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Harry Potter has a ghost in his head. It speaks in Russian, goes silent for weeks at a time and he has no idea how it got there. He’s going to try and talk to it. It is, after all, his ghost. And now more than ever he could use a friend.
The Winter Soldier has a ghost in his head. It speaks in English, never shuts up and he has no idea how it got there. He doesn’t mind the ghost. It is, after all, his ghost. And it wants to know how to hotwire a car.
“You know what, what do I know? I’m just a guy with a gun and a ghost in my head.”
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Banshee In A Well by bugbee, liverobinreaction (bugbee)
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
02 Apr 2023
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Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.
When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.
But most of all, Tim is alone.
(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)
Series
- Part 1 of bury the dead where they're found
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The Blue Check Mark Won't Dry Your Tears by the_oncoming_stormageddon
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe
05 Feb 2023
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Peter Parker runs an SI Intern twitter account. Some random guy named Harley Keener pays $8/month to impersonate the account. Predictably, they fall in love <3
Title based on "Highway Don't Care" by Tim McGraw
Series
- Part 7 of alfie's parkner stories
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In Tim’s defense, there had never been anyone around to tell him not to drink the water.
All in all, Tim thinks he turned out quite alright. All things considered.
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or: Tim grew up drinking Gotham's tap water. He developed some weird abilities as a result. Bruce, Dick, and Jason react.
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Podfic available! The link can be found at the end of the work! -
A Shot in the Dark by Silver_pup
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - All Media Types
24 Jan 2023
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When he opens his eyes again, he finds himself in his old bed in his old home in his old body. Is this death? Or a trick of magic? Either way, Bilbo recognizes a second chance when he sees one, and this time his adventure with Thorin is going to go a bit differently.
Series
- Part 1 of Take a Shot
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Jason is working undercover when he gets kidnapped by the Justice League. Batman is off-world which leaves his siblings scrambling to find him. While he has to figure out how to not get sent to Arkham and keep the existence of the batfamily a secret from the league.
Or, Jason annoys the league and learns he's important, Dick being the aggressively protective older brother that he is, Tim being a casual badass, and Damian living for violence.
Series
- Part 1 of Undercover: Batkids vs Justice League