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  1. *

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    Briar Baggins was a disappointment to those in the Shire who once expected that she would become someone exceptional. She was difficult to coax from her study, often withdrawing into books about lands far beyond their green, rolling hills.

    It came as a surprise when Briar accepted an invitation from her cousin to visit Bucklebury, and returned some time later with a baby in her arms. A baby that malicious gossips insisted had been seen wearing tiny socks, of all things!

    No doubt things would settle down again after that bit of excitement.

    A proper gentlehobbit would not chase after adventure well into her middle age, after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,824
    Chapters:
    39/39
    Comments:
    305
    Kudos:
    2,599
    Bookmarks:
    865
    Hits:
    44,925
  2. *

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    Frodo went to bed in Tirion and woke up in Bag-End some 110 years in the past. And as if this wasn't enough he did so in Bilbo's body. It all seemed like a quite ridiculous dream until he realized that, in fact, it wasn't. Frodo adapted. And then one day, Gandalf came along to send him on an adventure to reclaim the home of one Thorin Oakenshield. From then on things really started to go down the drain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,025
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    451
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    7,467
  3. 76

    Words:
    34,443
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    76
  4. 33

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    When a fateful encounter reunites newly-widowed Bard with the stripper from his best friend's bachelorette party - also a single father - an impulse offer begins a decade of friendship neither would have anticipated. But when Thranduil's past comes back to haunt him in the form of an unexpected visitor, he and Bard begin a farce that might become more complicated than they originally thought.

    Written by bishkebab for THAUC 2024. Includes art by pseudohades.

    Prompts:
    1.) Thranduil is a stripper in another country and Bard gets a dance from him when there for a Bachelor's party. Years later they end up in the same place.
    2.) Thranduil's partner left him and baby Legolas. When she tries to get back in their life years later, Thranduil says he is in a relationship with his best friend Bard. They are both in love but think it's unrequited.

    Note: contains themes of prostitution, drug abuse, and homophobia. See author's notes for more detailed content warnings.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,354
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2,603
  5. *

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    With Thorin and his nephews grievously wounded, Bilbo takes charge. Surprisingly, the dwarves let him. Unsurprisingly, things get complicated.

    Or: In which Bilbo finishes what they started.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    205,649
    Chapters:
    58/65
    Comments:
    2,876
    Kudos:
    4,250
    Bookmarks:
    1,166
    Hits:
    140,492
  6. 5

    Words:
    141,023
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    5
  7. 4

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    Bard, King of Dale, returns to The Mirkwood for Marriage, and then they will return to Dale for a second ceremony.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,587
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    385
  8. 28

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    In which Bilbo, Tauriel and Sigrid all die on the same day. So naturally they all wake up on the same day too, in the same place! The day before Gandalf brings thirteen dwarfs into Bilbo’s lives. Deciding that they will save the line of Durin and the dwarfs they love they decide to join the quest in the hope of a better outcome.

    And also…destroy the One Ring because like hell is Bilbo leaving that mess for Frodo.

    They plan to do this without telling Fili, Kili and Thorin because their love is unrequited of course. Everyone knows that.

    The line of Durin might disagree.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,205
    Chapters:
    3/27
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    826
  9. 64

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    Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit Living a quiet life in the Shire, finds himself the adopted father of a 3 year old Humanizes Ice Dragon, the last of her kind. He saw past the beast that she was and raised her as his own, loving and teaching her how to survive. But when a wizard comes to them with the Adventure of a lifetime, Bilbo and Kleo had to make a choice. One that could leave them dead at the hands of a Fire Dragon, but making life time friends and possible lovers along the way. Will it be worth it, even if it ends their lives there, only time will tell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    232,171
    Chapters:
    46/46
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    236
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    14,493
  10. *

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    Elorean is an elf from a long line of healers. Her Grandmother tended to King Oropher, Thranduil’s Father. Elorean understands that the new threats her people face call for new solutions in medicine. Growing up alongside a brother whose sole goal was to be a great fighter, Elorean is also well skilled with a sword a bow. She will need to draw on both her skills as a healer and a fighter as her people follow their King into battle. Elorean is not prepared for what transpires as she crosses boundaries and finds herself face to face with the King. Etiquette and diplomacy are attributes that Elorean often neglects when her inquisitiveness and ambition kick in. She is determined to do that which she knows is right whatever the cost. The King is not one to be crossed and beneath his armor are many secrets and wounds he has kept concealed for centuries. But this young elf healer keeps getting under his skin and that could prove to be very dangerous for both of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,244
    Chapters:
    59/59
    Comments:
    763
    Kudos:
    1,711
    Bookmarks:
    221
    Hits:
    61,199
  11. *

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    Bilbo liked Erebor, he really did. Even if everyone seemed convinced he was going to leave.

    In which soil causes international incidents, Thorin is over-dramatic, and dwarves are rubbish at keeping secrets. Oh, and they build a garden. Eventually.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,550
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    397
    Kudos:
    20,396
    Bookmarks:
    5,010
    Hits:
    202,003
  12. *

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    “You seem to know a lot about it,” Thorin remarks.
    “I’m particularly adamant about debunking the common misconceptions about this lifestyle,” replies Bilbo cheerily. “Though, I will admit I have had first-hand experience.”
    “Really.”
    “There’s really nothing quite like it.”
    “I wouldn’t have, uh, thought you were...” Thorin’s blushing harder now.
    “We come from so many different places,” says Bilbo with a small smile. “And I suppose I’ve always had a bit of an adventurous streak.”

    Or, the AU in which Bilbo owns a sex toy store, Thorin is hoping to get in touch with his sexual wants and needs, and a delightful agreement is struck between the two of them as a result.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,385
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    367
    Kudos:
    747
    Bookmarks:
    193
    Hits:
    28,985
  13. 17

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    Summary

    In An AU world Sigrid is sold into slavery by the Master while Bard is away. Bilbo a year and a half later rescues her and takes her back to the Shire where they get swept away on an adventure with thirteen dwarves and a mad wizard in which they fight a dragon, reunite a broken family, find out the truth about the Bowman and the Elf King and maybe, just maybe find some love along the way.

    Bilbo/Thorin, Sigrid/Fili, Kili/Tauriel, Bard/Thranduil, spread across three films.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,560
    Chapters:
    4/25
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    738
  14. *

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    ‘You stupid, stubborn dwarf!’ Bilbo bellowed. ‘I saved your arse from being warg-food, Oakenshield, so show some bloody appreciation.’

    The Valar send Bilbo and Thorin back in time to fix things, but the afterlife changes people considerably.

    Some folk are in for a few surprises.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,674
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    1,221
    Bookmarks:
    367
    Hits:
    29,529
  15. *

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    Summary

    Six years after returning from his unexpected journey, Bilbo Baggins is forced to flee the Shire when goblins invade. He and the four young Hobbit lads he brought to Rivendell with him were the only ones to escape and are shocked to learn that the rest of their people have vanished into thin air. As an alliance of Elves, Men, Dwarves, and a wizard search for their missing people, the remaining Hobbits are granted sanctuary in the Kingdom of Erebor. However, Bilbo’s journey back to the Lonely Mountain is long and treacherous, especially when he’s being pursued by a creature that’s after his blood. Well, his bloodline.

    Or: Bilbo makes his long awaited journey back to the Lonely Mountain and it’s King.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    125,752
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    522
    Kudos:
    2,179
    Bookmarks:
    673
    Hits:
    69,166
  16. 47

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    Summary

    In a house, in the Shire, there lives a young Hobbit, Lady of the manor by day, thief by night. Well, until she retired.

    She had become respectable, if strange, and convinced herself that she was perfectly content.

    Until her Godfather had to come along and ruin everything, bringing with him a merry band of Pirates!

    She wanted no part of it, no, thank you very much! But... Maybe she'd just... Listen to their story... Valar, that Captain was fit...

    Oh, fine! She'd go, if only to save these sorry fools from themselves! And a dragon...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,913
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    2,692
  17. *

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    Summary

    In the in-between Harry climbed onto the feathered back of Thorondor, King of Eagles.

    In the Shire, Hadley Baggins, younger fauntling of Belladonna Took and Bungo Baggins was born.

    Slash/Pre-Slash/Mpreg

    A/U & Non-Canon

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,257
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    597
    Kudos:
    4,919
    Bookmarks:
    2,130
    Hits:
    95,336
  18. *

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    Summary

    On his 88th birthday, Bilbo Baggins receives a gift without a sender, a gift which changes everything...

    Bilbo has lived through the canonical Hobbit and quietly raises Frodo in Bag End, when something sends him back to the winter when his parents died. It seems he has been given a new chance at everything, but how long will his good luck last...?

    Trigger Warning: Bilbo will remember uncomfortable things (character death, characted hurt, some scary situations).

    Safety Net: No major character dies in his new life. If you see a character's name listed, that character will not die.

    This story contains kisses and battle wounds, in no particular order. There is also background betting, card games, and pipe smoking, as well as direct transcripts from the movies (Jackson & Walsh & Boyens, 2012, 2013, 2014) and direct quotations from the book (Tolkien, 1937, 1951, 1995).

    Here there be feelings - and songs.

    Enjoy. 💖

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,258
    Chapters:
    51/51
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    650
    Kudos:
    1,222
    Bookmarks:
    333
    Hits:
    36,519
  19. *

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    Summary

    After Gandalf accidentally creates, possibly, one of the biggest mistakes that a wizard can make; Bilbo is left with the mind and body of his 4 year old self. Being to far into the journey to drop of the confused hobbit, Thorn and his company are forced to take care of the small tyke as they make their way through Mirkwood and into the Lonely Mountain.

    Or

    The one where Bilbo gets turned into a kid and gains 13 overprotective uncles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,661
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    255
    Kudos:
    1,907
    Bookmarks:
    433
    Hits:
    63,735
  20. *

    Words:
    477,876
    Works:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    818

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