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  1. Tags
    Summary

    In Gondolin, Turgon is depressed, while his knights roam the world... A comedy and a parody of the Silmarillion with a lot of characters and chapters.
    New chapter: The Grail.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    115,495
    Chapters:
    48/51
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    3,443
  2. Tags
    Summary

    À Gondolin, Turgon déprime, pendant que ses chevaliers parcourent le monde... Une parodie crack du Silmarillion à la façon de la série "Kaamelott" et des Monty Python.
    Nouveau chapitre : Le Graal.

    Series
    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    120,019
    Chapters:
    52/?
    Comments:
    313
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    3,603
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Seonghwa comes to his senses at the grisly sight and brings his fist down on a side table, rattling the vase with a pair of carnations standing innocently on it, and drawing attention to himself. His eyes narrow as they turn to face him and he looks them each in the eye, unwilling to back away this time. “Someone explain to me what’s going on! Who are you all? What are you all?”

    Silence meets his words, and Seonghwa’s ears thunder with the roar of his own rushing blood as he reaches out to curl an accusatory finger at them. “You aren’t normal. This isn’t normal. Where am I?”
     


     

    Seonghwa knew he should've been wary of his admittance into the elusive college of his dreams, but when he had prepared himself for eccentricity, he hadn't prepared himself for this kind of eccentricity. Behind the innocuous gates of Greenwich College lies a history written in blood, and a world on the brink of war. Thrown unwittingly into its epicenter, Seonghwa discovers there is more to himself and his newfound friends than meets the eye. All he had wanted was peace and quiet, but between his rambunctious company and their skeletons in the closet, he receives much more than he had bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    423,983
    Chapters:
    40/?
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    233
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    12,407
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Through flames and shadows, Nelyafinwe awaited his death, but it was not in the halls of Mandos that he awoke. Now the world has changed, he feels it in his body, but what should a cursed prince from a forgotten time in the seventh age of the Edain do?.

    Notes: Stop commenting with commission offers, I'm not interested in any of that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,335
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,725
  5. Tags
    Summary

    In which, the Princess of Asgard find themselves stranded on another planet on the cusp of a war, but she decides to stay and help the Dwarrow of Erebor reclaim their homeland.

    The Hobbit x The Avengers
    The daughter of Thor Odinson

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,274
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    270
  6. Tags
    Summary

    What if it worked out between Frieren and Himmel? Yes it completely goes against the entire POINT of the series, but… hey we all want it deep down, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,615
    Chapters:
    71/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    217
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    11,673
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A quiet half-elf girl is sent to an isolated outpost to be forgotten.
    She plans to keep her head down, speak little, and stay out of trouble—until she meets Rowan: loud, infuriating, and impossible to ignore. What begins as a reluctant bond slowly deepens into something softer, stranger, and harder to name.

    But everything comes at a cost. And when Yunhua is pulled into the unfamiliar world of politics, she finds her own unraveling under the weight of visibility and someone else pays the ultimate price.
    She vanishes—now a woman haunted by the choices she made and a name burned into her memory.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,020
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    37
  8. Tags
    Summary

    You stopped Astarion from ascending, but cruelly he left you. Now you're a shadow of yourself, unmoored by grief and unsure what comes next.

    That is until Gale arrives with a proposition: Join him in his quest to find the Ring of the Sunwalker.

    Why should you risk yourself again for the man who told you he didn't want you?
    And what does Gale seek in all this?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,671
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    529
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It's taken me a long time to both decide to start writing this and to make even the first segment, I used to write a lot but lost the motivation for it. I've managed to get back into it now and so I've begun writing about my favourite thing, Skyrim. This story is about 4 women, very different, discovering Aetherspire Castle and unlocking it's secrets.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,190
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    4
    Hits:
    23
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Through the eyes of the dragons of Uwarei, we navigate diplomacy, magic, and political intrigue through the mountains nobody thought could be crossed.

    (I go off the deep end with Tolkien inclusions because I was learning Elvish languages when I was writing this. So let me explain. This is set in a post-apocalyptic future steeped in medievalism on an alien planet, Tolkien existed and this culture canonically adopts his languages as their main form of communication because they spoke telepathically before and identify as elves- this is now an AU where they really are unless I get less lazy and am picked up by a professional publisher. If you publish me I'll conlang my own OK?)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,939
    Chapters:
    48/48
    Hits:
    8
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Two years after the defeat of the Absolute, the Emperor gets the chance to visit Tav's hometown, make a new friend, and ponder over ceremorphosis and the meaning of the soul.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,432
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    650
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The Age of Men is beginning, and with it the Age of Elves ending. Many of the eldar sail West to Valinor, but a few remain steadfast in Middle Earth, ignoring the calls of the gulls and the tantalizing break of waves on the sea.

    Some elves are younger than others. One particular elf, actually, is very young and energetic to a fault. Haerandir has not been in one place for longer than two decades since before he was even technically and adult, and has his sights on the creation of a grand catalogue of all the creatures, animal and plant alike, in Middle Earth. There is much to study, many interesting people to meet, and many interesting things to do! Especially now, as Sauron is defeated, Haerandir is no longer obliged to spend time "fighting orcs" or "defending Middle Earth" and has more capacity to do fun things like follow deer around and talk to trees.

    This is set kind of in the middle ground between the third and fourth ages, and will not include a lot of reference to canon characters. It's mostly just a way to talk about my favorite LOTR OC. He's just a silly guy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,769
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    126
  13. Tags
    Summary

    On a rainy night, Aragorn is approached by a dark figure urging him to go to the Bearer. A simple meeting at first glance, until Aragorn learn more about that Harry.

    Why isn't he in any historical books?

    Why does the elves hate him so much?

    What happened before Sauron made the One Ring?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,368
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    233
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    3,764
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The tale of three young men who sneak into a royal party, breaking several laws while they are there, like stealing an ancient treasure, eating from a sacred apple tree and dancing with the crowned elf prince?? They go on trial and are accused of high treason which gives them the death sentence and they are set to hang on the morrow. Felix the elf prince, promises to free them, on one condition, he flees the kingdom with them. On the day of their hanging, they are saved by old friends of the prince and together they all set off on a great adventure.

    First chapter OUT NOW!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,913
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    286
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Canary’s elfin master likes to hurt him, even if the boy hasn’t done anything wrong.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2,065
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Elirenn, mage fraîchement diplômée, quitte sa pension pour embarquer sur un luxueux zeppelin, l'IFS Zéphyr et rejoindre la capitale d'Arcanum, Tarant. Le zeppelin n'arrivera jamais à bon port et s'écrasera dans les montagnes. Avant de mourir de ses blessures, un passager gnome donne à Elirenn une chevalière et lui demande de la rapporter à un garçon. La miraculeuse survivante rencontre Virgil, moine Panarii qui la prend pour Le Vivant, un être réincarné, devant sauver le monde des forces du Mal. Toutefois, avant de pouvoir prétendre à sauver le monde, Elirenn devra, avec la précieuse aide de Virgil, retrouver le propriétaire de l'anneau et échapper à une société d'assassins, qui sont à leurs trousses. Mais, ces mystères ne sont pas les seuls qu'elle devra affronter, car le sombre passé de Virgil ressurgira au moment le moins opportun.

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    158,612
    Chapters:
    52/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    670
  17. Tags
    Summary

    An orc finds himself among humans, where he is mistaken for a woman. Featuring mischievous elves, a bewildered human court, and one very resourceful orc in a lace gown.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,418
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    370
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Maedhros and Maglor are so cooked.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,293
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    705
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A boy travels from another planet to meet a green elf. Was it destiny, or the fate of the world?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,014
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    9
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Myers doesn't go to Antarctica, but working with Nuada might make him wish he did.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,798
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    776

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